Oh those hot gay-as-fuck female himbos

Destresse · 2021-01-27T06:54:30+00:00

I just... Is it just me, or is it insanely creepy to change your appearance to the point there is almost no trace of, well, yourself left?

I just don't understand how they can deal with such a huge change. Isn't it disturbing? How do you not go mad? Aaaah, body modifications creep me out in general but this is on a whole another level. Tell me again how this is supposed to alleviate issues with identity. When there is such a distinction between "I am" and "I was", so much that the past stops being "I" even. How do they call it, a "dead name"? A dead self. How does this help identity issues??!

Destresse · 2021-06-30T04:39:50+00:00

Straight people, proud of kicking homosexuals out.

That should tell her Pride isn't for her. With the French lesbians protesting in Paris pride making twitter explode, I've seen people make comments like "make your own pride if you can't respect others'!" and wow, the irony. One answered "ah yes, let homosexuals make their separate pride. Great idea." and you know what they were answered for this? Some stupid words with a vomiting emoji. This really left me dumbstruck for a while. 2021, you know, the year when you say "homosexual" online and some progressives answer with a vomiting emoji.

Destresse · 2021-06-03T15:02:09+00:00

I said it before and I'll say it again, pride doesn't exist because one person did something once. Marsha or not. Worshipping one person for this riot is plain stupid. Homosexual people gained their rights by combined efforts, but I don't expect people obsessed with ""validation"" to understand this. It's all about the individual to them. Hero complex and victim complex.

There's the revision or history, and then there's being stupid about it in the first place.

Destresse · 2021-07-21T16:16:30+00:00

You're not crazy.

Are you implying you don't have friends? If that's the case I think you should start by removing yourself from "queer" or "LGBTQIA+" environments. Find people with a common interest that isn't your sexuality. Maybe a club or something. Or, if you have a job, turn to colleagues. The work place can be a good place to form friendships.

The most important is to remove yourself from any situation/relationship that doesn't respect you.

Destresse · 2021-01-18T20:31:55+00:00

I'm not a reference, since I have a reaaally hard time, uh. Being accessible lol. But, yes, this is something I feel too. I ended up deleting Tinder after an avalanche of trans/couples/men flooded my suggestions right after a bad match up. I suddenly felt violated and disgusted.

What straight person has to go through half of the profiles to find someone that corresponds to their sexual orientation?

Not only are we a minority, we are constantly being disrespected. No one respects our spaces, so we can't find each other. I'm absolutely not surprised most of us feel lonely.

Destresse · 2021-12-23T06:25:39+00:00

Lesbian is allowed but not gay? Lmao what is this joke...

Destresse · 2021-01-27T07:06:24+00:00

Sorry I'm very upset, this strikes a very personal chord. But you know what's wrong in my life right now? I can't reconcile my child self with my adult self. And I mean I am not able to, because I have partial amnesia. From 0 to 5 years old, I got nothing. I am told I was this and that way, and that I completely changed around 5, and I don't remember.

Guess where my identity and dissociative issues come from? Yeah, that's right. From whatever trauma I went through, that I erased from my mind. I won't ever get better as long as I don't remember. I know that from deep within myself. So this?

Whatever starts the gender dysphoria, enabling the symptoms should not even be considered. It is not considered in any other mental illness. These people will never get better as long as they keep their past and present self cut off from each other, and everyone is encouraging that with glee.

Destresse · 2021-07-26T17:52:41+00:00

She has extreme customer voice and the music is not helping lol

It's good she's admitting it publicly though, I'm glad for this

Destresse · 2021-01-18T11:00:21+00:00

Lol. I get the concept of what she's saying, but, uh. Porn... Really?

I mean. As a teenager with lots of self-hatred and very few ways out of it, I was looking for a way to explore homosexuality without it ever implicating me, so I'd read fanfics with gay pairings. But nothing sexual. The day I discovered my sexuality was the day I started showing real interest in porn, still I don't consume it, because of my moral values, but I can't say I'm not feeling the urge sometimes. And I mean lesbian porn lol, I have never ever wanted to consume gay porn when I'm feeling horny... o_o that's just... counterproductive

To be honest, I wouldn't be very surprised if that woman is deeply traumatised. Most of my "coping mechanisms" (read: avoidance) regarding my sexuality/sexual urges are caused by trauma and shame.

Destresse · 2021-09-24T16:43:44+00:00

Is there no law that protects workers in anglo countries? Can you really get someone fired for this, or is she dreaming?

Destresse · 2021-01-20T19:01:18+00:00

I have read some detransitioners who said taking testosterone did affect their sexual orientation, the example was a bisexual women becoming straight after taking it. Makes me very uncomfortable to think about...

Destresse · 2021-08-16T20:39:32+00:00

Sounds so very young.

I've been thinking about that lately, how lots of ftms on the internet sound like teenagers or very young adults. How I'd usually give this population a free pass because, you know, young and stupid, I've been there. But the amount of power they've accumulated over the years is, uh, concerning. And invalidates the free pass. Now we're living in thought-police land.

It's hard for me to adapt and find a way to react.

Destresse · 2021-07-26T08:50:48+00:00

Nothing says straight male like saying "I fucked your mom" and then thinking "I fucked your dad" is even worse

Destresse · 2021-03-05T15:49:07+00:00

I've gotten so used to reading uterus-havers/bleeders/menstruators that reading ejaculators gave me that sudden flash of 'oh wow that's messed up' that I failed to have the first time I saw its female equivalent.

Scary thing to realise.

Destresse · 2021-01-19T12:29:52+00:00

The comments... "my boyfriend and I have been every letter of LGBT", "we laugh about the time I thought I was a lesbian" 😟😟😟

Destresse · 2021-08-23T11:00:39+00:00

Oh, that's interesting. I have the same experience with women, some react strangely to my lack of attraction to males. It's mostly "but... are you sure?", "aren't you just scared?", "I think it's narrow-minded to claim men will never be an option for you", going into judging territory real fast. I could be married to a woman and they'd say the same I'm pretty sure. "Nothing is set in stone" etc.

Short answer: they don't believe homosexuality exists. So when you say you're homosexual, what they hear is: "I consciously choose to exclude all you people from my options because I don't like you" lol

Sounds familiar? 🤣

Second possibility: they're uncomfortable with talking about sexual orientation because it puts them in a position they dislike. I've seen this with closeted bi people or confused straight people. "but, but, wait. You don't mean you feel NO attraction to the opposite sex, do you? Even I can find other women hot. So surely...?" Being faced with someone who knows what they want makes their own confusion obvious and some of them can kind of freak out as a result, trying to make you admit that you're just as confused as them, and they're totally normal, okay, nothing to see here.

Those are the two main answers I've thought of.

Destresse · 2021-12-24T07:44:15+00:00

Lol. Do they ever think before they speak? The fact homosexuality cannot result in reproduction is the very reason it's been so vilified over the years. No, we can't have bio kids with the person we love. Yes, it's "unpractical" or whatever else. No, we won't date trans people for bio children. No, we cannot fall in love and have sexual desire for people of the opposite sex. And no, most of us won't sacrifice a chance to feel love just for bio kids.

Oh my god I am so tired of LGBTQIAetc "issues" being in the spotlight, witnessing people who know nothing of homosexuality run their mouth like they're an expert and our spokesperson. Shut up and leave us alone...

Destresse · 2021-02-28T10:22:46+00:00

Ah, I don't think I fit the definition of what you're asking since I never dated any male, but I did manage to convince myself I wasn't a lesbian for quite some time.

Basically, I'm not very in touch with myself, my body, my feelings. Or I used not to be. And I felt very little. So the one time I would feel something, and it'd be about a man, I'd go "oh must be love," even when it was fear I was feeling. I just couldn't identify any of my emotions. First time I started staring at girls' lips or breasts, at 17, I of course noticed the difference, but I was so ashamed and I really didn't want to be a lesbian I just thought "whatever, it's normal, everyone is a little bi, I can still be straight" and I just ignored the fact I wasn't staring at boys at all. After all, my straight friends didn't talk about boys either, so it was easy to think we were the same. Next, it was the first time a guy expressed interest in me, when I was 20, and I froze and immediately changed the subject and then ignored him forever. Knee-jerk reaction. And I thought "what the heck is wrong with me, I don't want to be alone forever do I?" Then my attraction to women just got stronger and I thought it was society hyper-sexualising women that was poisoning me or something lol. I started worrying, a bit, about how I always, always avoided anything relating to my love life. Friends who talk about it included. But no, it did not click. At this point my brain had become an expert in denial lol. I came up with all sorts of theories about why I didn't want to date men, and not once did "i'm a lesbian" cross my mind until I read another lesbian describing her difficulties accepting herself. And then the dam broke and I spent something like two months recovering from that discovery, suddenly becoming hyper-anxious and sad and feeling like my world was crumbling down to ashes. Which it kind of was, to be honest lol. I had constructed this fantasy world where I could be straight, and in one day it all came crashing down suddenly.

I wouldn't be surprised if this is how it goes for most late-bloomers. The society we live in makes it painfully easy to think attraction to men is every minor feeling you have ever had for a man, be it admiration, envy, and more worryingly even fear, stress, and loathing. And attraction to women is normal because "women's sexuality is fluid" or something. For a long time I bought the lie that female homosexuality just doesn't exist. First time seeing (or reading) someone like me was what did it. I'm grateful to all lesbians who share their experiences and hardships, as well as describe their feelings and desires so clearly, who write blogs about it, because I would have realised way later without them. What cemented it and shut up the obsessive "what if you're just fucked up" voices in my head was actually flirting with women and being sexual with them and seeing just how easy that was. Simply something I actually wanted. And I thought "wow, all this time, this was how people actually felt when crushing on someone? I finally get it"

Ironically, I have never felt more like I belonged with my fellow humans than at this moment lol. Desire and love are just so important, and I am so glad I will never again live my life without feeling either, now that I know what they are.

Destresse · 2021-01-22T10:50:46+00:00

"I'm nonbinary. I'm more woman than man. Im absolutely 0% man."

This logic is so bad. Even if you follow it, it still doesn't make sense. If you think there's a third category, it can't simultaneously be another thing. You're also 0% woman if you are not a woman, by definition.

Destresse · 2021-12-24T16:08:20+00:00

Merry Christmas to you all! :)

Nothing notable to say on the topic. Every year it's the same struggle to pick clothes and try not to look like my everyday jeans-and-sweatshirt self. I rate my success on my stepmother's reaction.

Destresse · 2021-06-26T11:47:02+00:00

It's 6% asking every person they first meet.

If 61% never ask pronouns, I'm guessing 39% have asked for pronouns at least once.

Still. I can't believe there are people who ask every person they meet 💀

Destresse · 2021-01-18T21:44:24+00:00

Yeah, I know. If I dare share my negative feelings with my straight family members, most insist that I have no reason to feel bad, what are you talking about Destresse, you can get married and have kids now, so it's exactly as though you were straight!

So I shut up now lol.

And yeah, nowadays, lesbian online support is "... And remember, trans women are women!"

Sometimes I despair haha. It's at least something, that we have this and s/Lesbians

I just wish groups like that existed irl :( I want to meet like-minded lesbians in my country dammit

Destresse · 2022-10-01T20:40:54+00:00

So much of this is heartbreaking, to be honest. The typical "pre-teen me didn't want breasts" interview, the weirdo "I was so euphoric I took selfies and sent them to all of my friends" and the "safe practices" list at the end.

I didn't know, but when you bind, don't exercise, apparently. Don't sweat. Or drink more. And then there are tips for a flat chest if you don't have a binder. I have a naturally flat chest, and I've always felt really glad for this, but I can't help but imagine what it must be like for girls with obvious curves and all. The desperation is real. What is this world doing to girls, seriously.

Destresse · 2021-09-11T05:49:34+00:00

She sounds low-empathy and thrill-seeking. Run.

Lol, in all seriousness though, you don't say one bad thing about her in there and I still got a super negative image. Why is that?

This raised a question in me, do you have a pattern of falling for low-empathy women?

Something to consider: self-hate isn't innate, people develop this strategy to make sense of abusive environments. "It must be me" gives an illusion of control. It's easier than thinking "I'm in danger and have no way out." This is why many, many, many people with low self-esteem generally fall for shitty people and show no interest in balanced people. Ironically it's the safe option. It's what they know, it's familiar, "it must be me" means shitty people don't exist and they're safe. And if they get hurt then it's not a shitty person who hurt them, since "it must be me", right? They flagelate themselves for a while and go on to fall for the next low-empathy person they can find. It validates the self-hate, and allows them to keep avoiding their early trauma that made them hate themselves in the first place.

I'm not sure you needed that lecture lol. That was also very simplified as self-hate manifests in many different ways. But if you do have a pattern of falling for low-empathy women, then... It's not that you're disgusting, it's that you're unconsciously trying to protect yourself.

Destresse · 2021-03-03T14:12:31+00:00

As a person, never, because I'm only out to family and close friends.

I honestly don't witness it much either. I just see the lack of knowledge, which is to be expected. The common assumptions, the wild hypothesises. Lol

I see people being confused and curious about it, basically. I have seen straight people explaining homosexuality wrong to other straight people, and meanwhile I sat there staring a hole into my shoe and screaming internally lol.

I honestly wish everyone understood what homosexuality is and our specific struggles. I dislike having all eyes and attention on me as I explain something very intimate and visceral. The most asked question when coming out to straight people: how do you know? Uh. I don't want to tell you about what turns me on lmao. Isn't it obvious?? This is why I don't come out and rarely talk about it with straight or even bisexual people.

Destresse · 2020-08-12T12:17:41+00:00

The problem lies with that subreddit's name to begin with. It's about late "wlw" bloomer basically, not just lesbians. They make a point of including bisexuals and transwomen, so their masterdoc has to include all these 3 experiences... Which are very different.

The price of inclusivity as always, confusing more and more people.

Destresse · 2021-11-10T02:14:58+00:00

I stopped reading at "gender is complicated for example I identify with" boy"and not "man" "

Destresse · 2021-03-23T22:24:02+00:00

I'll attempt to answer with the various testimonies I've read of detransitioners as well as my own experiences and understanding of it.

Gender dysphoria is the feeling your body "doesn't belong to you" or shouldn't look like this. It's a deep discomfort with your physical appearance, and not necessarily linked to homophobia, but of course it plays a role in adding to the discomfort. It's the fact people look at you and assume a number of things about you, because of your sex category, but you don't fit those assumptions. You feel like no one sees you as you are, and the culprit is your body. Because it's how you're perceived first. Gender non-conformity doesn't always equal homosexuality, so I don't think it'd be quite right to say it's internalised homophobia, since straight people experience gender dysphoria too.

I've read detransitioners describe their dysphoria with very intense feelings of rejection of specific body parts. As for me, I have sometimes looked at myself naked in the mirror and felt very weirded out, as if my recognition stopped at my neck. My face was me, alright, but the rest... I don't know how to describe it. You look at it and the feeling of recognition just... doesn't quite light up. You know it's you. But it doesn't feel like you. Teen magazines back then said to always spend time before showering just watching yourself in the mirror to boost body acceptance, so I did that. It didn't really help for years, until one day I noticed I had stopped feeling this way, not too long after finally accepting I was a lesbian. Definitely internalised homophobia at play here, for me haha.

I think it's a matter of self-hatred vs self-acceptance of course, but the root of that hatred varies from person to person.

Destresse · 2022-01-07T13:45:19+00:00

Hahahaha I used to feel creepy but now I accept I'm a lesbian hahaha so gayyyyy yeah I'm here and I'm queer yes we're all gayyyyy here gay gay gay that's so gay y'all

Destresse · 2021-12-22T17:54:05+00:00

Men and hommes

But why? I'm triggered.

Destresse · 2021-09-29T19:34:18+00:00

Message received. Will continue to behave as I see fit.

Destresse · 2021-09-18T23:45:21+00:00

🙃

I... You know what, I have no words for this amount of stupid lol

Destresse · 2021-07-15T14:29:28+00:00

Oh my god. I'm sorry her name is too close to mine and I had a very visceral reaction to seeing it paired with such insanity. I never want to see this again.

Destresse · 2021-06-27T08:42:00+00:00

Agreed. One day is enough.

Destresse · 2021-06-23T20:06:52+00:00

Oh man, I actually thought about her arguments until she, without realizing I suppose, gave herself away.

The point is this: coming out means your identity is fixed. And when you can't decide whether you're this or that label today, and you come out as 10 different things in the span of a year, it's embarrassing. So the entire concept of coming out, of fixed identity, of homosexuality, is wrong. She wrote this entire article to justify not being embarrassed 😳🤣

Destresse · 2021-05-28T19:52:16+00:00

This is revolting

Destresse · 2021-04-09T09:44:47+00:00

I often think about it, about having activists we can trust, an actual comunity, etc. And then I get sad when I realise how impossible that is lol

Anyone can pretend to be us and speak over us. This entire thing has made me realise how fragile our rights are, it's disheartening.

Destresse · 2021-01-23T07:38:54+00:00

I think white lies to spare someone's feelings is also very American. I've heard Americans talk about culture shock when they come to France and one of them was "why would you tell your friend you don't like their new haircut??" and basically the vast difference between what each country considers to be the polite thing to do lol.

Which is why I hope the trans ideology will not work as well everywhere else in the world. But I'm honestly pessimistic about that, it's about indoctrination and power, handled well-enough, anyone can fall for it...

Destresse · 2021-08-19T11:16:10+00:00

Something I have been thinking about:

We should not, ever, mix different struggles together. If a group is labelled an LGB group, then it's an LGB group. For feminism, there are feminist groups.

Lesbians tend to go for L+feminism because, well, that's what benefits us the most, but when I see lesbian groups focus on "sexism+racism+classism+homophobia+...." I just know it is doomed to fail. Lol.

Honestly, the boundaries need to be crystal clear from the beginning. LGB group, then only LGB issues. The rest is dealt with elsewhere. Discord servers, if run by people who aren't that great at managing, will follow the same pattern of diverging.

My advice is to analyse and question very precisely, what group does what. What do they deal with. This is how you'll find where you belong. Women do need feminism and spaces away from men because clumsy words like yours hit the tolerance limit for plenty of us lol, but there's a place for everything. We can't expect every man to be perfectly empathetic, perfectly informed, perfectly tactful. If we decide to share a space with them, we should be prepared for clumsy words. It's not a "safe space" for women. It's a "safe space" for LGB. And if they didn't realise this, then it means it wasn't really an LGB space. Probably more of a lesbian and bi women space. Open to super empathetic, informed, and tactful G or B men lol.

Destresse · 2021-07-10T06:10:11+00:00

It's strange to see people taking offense to it. This is the main word we'd use in French to describe... Well, a homosexual person. Lol.

Even the shortened "homo" isn't offensive. Lesbians don't usually use it but gay men do. If people mean offense, they'll happily use slurs instead.

My knowledge on the matter might be outdated though. With how fast the "LGBTQIA+" stuff is changing, maybe our homosexuals copied the anglosphere yet again and now take offense to it who knows

Destresse · 2021-01-27T14:57:39+00:00

Yeah, I know that's how most people work. That's not the case for me, I have a freakishly good memory. That blank isn't recent either.

I know you're looking out for me to make sure I don't make a mountain out of a molehill, and that's nice of you. But I do have reasons to believe it has significance

Sorry, I shouldn't have brought it up. I'm not actually willing to get that personal haha

Destresse · 2023-03-25T06:25:01+00:00

I'm always ready to show restraint in my judging, but then I see comments of them say stuff like "I love surprising guys with my tits", and "I give no warnings" and how they love seeing the "surprise" on their face, and this is the sole reason she'll miss her breasts and then how the op says "that's the best way to do it"

and it's really hard not to immediately go "okay: sadistic rapist, derives joy from 'tricking' people and worsening uncomfortable situations"

I'll instead assume all those guys were straight or bi or other trans guys and happy to see her breasts.

Destresse · 2022-09-26T12:19:08+00:00

13 year-old, I'm pretty sure. Cannot be an adult

Destresse · 2021-11-24T21:19:34+00:00

Honestly anytime I see them say something stupid I wanna repeat it with a silly voice and I'm reminded of that spongebob meme. It perfectly embodies my feelings on the matter lol

Destresse · 2021-11-07T07:02:00+00:00

I used to feel this way, but since then I've found a good number of lesbians/bi women from my country who are critical of the trans movement. So now my environment is way more gender critical than the other way around. It's only when I browse the internet that I see all the pro-trans stuff. And even then, YouTube only recommends gender critical stuff since that's what I've been watching lol. I don't have twitter/tumblr/instagram whatever other social network exists nowadays. So that helps avoiding it.

But I also don't frequent lesbian bars or lesbian events or anything, so I don't know the state of things in our irl community. I'm told things are relatively good, as long as you don't start a debate on the question lol.

Destresse · 2021-10-16T20:54:42+00:00

Yeah. First time I read a lesbian opening up about the struggles of homosexuality, it was a detrans woman.

I feel like the only lesbian who is uncomfortable with my orientation to be honest lol

I know it's not true because I've talked with various other lesbians who felt the same way, but yes. Nothing public, ever

Destresse · 2021-08-03T16:38:36+00:00

Kinda droopy eyes, breasts, thighs and hands for me 🙋‍♀️😂

Female hands are so incredibly beautiful

Destresse · 2021-07-30T07:20:06+00:00

Yeah, plus, in the comments he apparently said the lesbian knew he was trans already. She wouldn't have reacted like this if she'd known. He didn't even try to make the story consistent

Destresse · 2021-05-01T19:04:46+00:00

I greatly dislike this idea of "reclaiming a slur"

I'm never going to call myself a derogatory word, I don't understand how anyone can feel this is empowering. I hate those words with a burning passion and I want them all to disappear :(

Destresse · 2021-04-06T21:36:58+00:00

Why are all the comments saying "dub", what is this new trend again

I'm going to sleep

Destresse · 2021-03-04T19:53:03+00:00

Two trans kids under 10?? Wow...

I'm curious, does it happen within certain social classes and not others? One of my best friends is an elementary school teacher too, she has never had to deal with that but only teaches in relatively poor areas and I wonder if there's a link, on top of the fact the trans contagion isn't as intense here as the US or UK.

Destresse · 2020-08-11T16:31:49+00:00

I'm hypersensitive so I try to hide my emotions. Doesn't work lol. People figure me out in 0.1s.

Destresse · 2020-08-05T21:42:43+00:00

I don't know other lesbians well enough irl to talk about it either, and the state of the community isn't as bad as in the US here, but I did talk about what was going on to people I'm close with, because this madness is slowly crossing the Pacific. At first they just didn't understand what I was talking about (because it's so unreal they couldn't wrap their head around it, actually, haha) but once they understood, mostly they were surprised and grossed out. Told me there was no way our country would get brainwashed into that but I'm not so sure, personally...

With this widespread idea of transphobia, I'd advice you to choose your words carefully so your friends can't misunderstand you. But well, that might not change anything... For example, I've seen people on the internet admit that they misunderstood JK Rowling's tweets when it is... kind of impossible to misunderstand in my opinion lol, because of their bias and the fact they jumped on the hate bandwagon without thinking. It was really wild seeing them say they "read her wrong" when she said biological sex is real... 😮

Destresse · 2023-03-10T12:24:30+00:00

"it makes you smell, it makes you horny, you grow a tiny dick and get facial hair" Dreamy. Why do they still argue that 'iF iT's AbOuT gEnItAlS tHeN wHy Do YoU rEjEcT tRaNs MeN tOo?!' Because of this. Also because those are women who hate themselves and I wouldn't date them any more than I would a drug addict or a self-harmer

Anyway, this post's title made me laugh a lot before I got to reading the text 😆

Destresse · 2022-01-07T13:52:41+00:00

QuEeR mEaNs "AsK mE mOrE qUeStIoNs If YoU'rE cUrIoUs"

In other words: I'm an attention seeker.

Edited just to laugh at how I just realised this literally means "I know no one knows what I mean by this word and it's the point actually" 😂

Destresse · 2022-01-02T08:30:22+00:00

I want my dad to be disappointed that he'll never get a daughter-in-law. I want my mom to judge how long my hair is.

Lol. Good luck with that.

And also the part about "the token gay friend" and how her gay friend doesn't talk about guys and exes to her. I WONDER WHY lmao

So is she a lesbian, a straight girl, or bisexual and totally confused? I also used to feel very uncomfortable when confronted with lesbian romance, back when I was in so much denial I couldn't even tell left from right. Ah, this is so sad to see. (But also very funny.)

Destresse · 2021-12-19T19:13:32+00:00

Oh you could have continued. There is this gem later on, about the acceptance of trans people:

One major part is that we’re actually more visible in gay porn these days and I think that has helped a lot

Destresse · 2021-11-08T00:05:30+00:00

Lol this might be the first time I've seen straight women be so open about their physical attraction to men.

... But it's also entirely possible that they just don't feel comfortable talking about these things with me personally 🤣

Destresse · 2021-10-04T16:21:56+00:00

Why did I click this. Damn curiosity. 🤮

Destresse · 2021-10-02T18:36:37+00:00

F a c t s

Destresse · 2021-09-28T17:28:01+00:00

Lol.

Come on... We knew your child is a girl the moment you said you wanted her to live a life "without sexism." And at 4 years old, she says she's a boy. Funny. Completely unpredictable. Who would have thought.

Destresse · 2021-09-02T20:26:27+00:00

My cat is gay

😂

He only humps men

🤣 I'm crying...

Does she know cats aren't humans? Humping for a dog is social behaviour, like "pay attention to me" or even stress/nervosity, or a lack of confidence. My female dog humps her own sister. Imagine what she'd call my dog. A lesbian with a fetish for incest? LOL. Man, when you take a pet, you should be prepared not to judge it by human standards.

You're ill, miss.

Destresse · 2021-08-23T18:17:08+00:00

I used to take it personally, but now I just let it slide lol.

Have you had the "confused straight woman" flavour? The one who, after you put everything into words without going into too much information, eventually asks you ".... but what is attraction? I don't think I understand?" 😭🤣 and then you're obligated to go into tmi

Destresse · 2021-07-27T15:06:31+00:00

Reminds me of the headlines some time ago about a man who killed his girlfriend by lighting her on fire in the street. They don't even realise the kind of people they're emulating.

Destresse · 2021-04-18T07:43:30+00:00

I pick who I tell very carefully, so this situation won't happen. I have told: family, straight female best friend who I know is very accepting and treats people fairly, and my gay childhood friend. For various reasons, sometimes because I didn't want them to have false expectations for me, sometimes just because I wanted their advice on love lol.

I have another childhood friend who I'd eventually like to know but I think she guessed anyway.

None have treated me differently. I'm still just the same friend they've had all this time. It probably makes sense to them, too, since I used to scoff disdainfully when they'd suggest pairing me with a guy. It sure made sense to me when I realised. Well I guess the one thing that has changed is that they now know I'm not an ice cold independent woman who sneers at the thought of love lol. I'm actually a closet romantic.

I don't plan on telling anyone else, the men around me know I'm not interested in any of them, and the women around me know I'm not interested in discussing men or typically feminine stuff. They don't need to know I'm a homosexual to know that, so it's good, they treat me fine. I think I've reached a point where I'm satisfied with it, too. I'm not lying to them, but some private things they don't need to know either.

Destresse · 2021-04-17T08:23:44+00:00

I also relate. I realised I was a lesbian around 22, but before that my life was just one big effort trying not to be who I am. At 26 I still have trouble being who I am. When I was a teenager I used to feel like I was a fraud and no one knew the real me.

Back in 2005 however, people on the internet used to say "teenage years are rough, that's normal, don't worry it gets better" Back in 2005, teenagers on the internet vented to each other and insulted their favourite hated classmates. They posted threads on forums and weren't told their body was wrong. Teenage magazines would always have a "I hate my body" letter from a female reader and they would answer with "the first step of accepting your body is to get used to it, spend some time looking at yourself in the mirror without judgement."

Now all those things have fallen out of style and it's all about twitter/instagram and whatever else they use where it's all about how many followers you have, how popular you are. Society has completely failed teenagers while pretending to "do better" with its endless talks of anti-bullying and acceptance. All a smoke screen.

Destresse · 2021-01-26T08:31:34+00:00

How does that even happen? Lol

How did you know she was interested? How did she know you were interested? It feels like I'd have to wear a big badge saying "I'M A LESBIAN" for that to happen 😭 and my gaydar is very bad

Destresse · 2021-01-24T19:58:45+00:00

I also recommend dragon age and mass effect! There is also Tracer and Soldier 76 in Overwatch, although the story-mode isn't out yet so we have yet to know whether they'll lean towards TQ+ or not (I want to trust in Blizzard, I really like their storytelling)

Life is Strange (especially Before the Storm) games have possible gay routes too. Then you have the controversial "everyone is bi" games like Fallout 4. Errr what else...? I haven't played many recent games. Oh, Fire Emblem Three Houses had some nice gay romances, but again, no homosexual characters and bisexuality is never addressed.

My favourite games have to be dragon age 2 and warcraft 3 for PC. I loved the storytelling and the characters in both of those games. The twists, drama and tension is very good, exactly my cup of tea haha. Starcraft 2 also falls into that category, but I found the story less dramatic. Sarah Kerrigan makes up for it. Easily one of my favourite female characters of all time.

For Nintendo consoles, I'll go with Fire Emblem Awakening and The World Ends With You. One is really entertaining and addictive, the other is increeedibly creative and fun, and has very nice messages about life and adolescence.

Destresse · 2021-01-15T16:44:25+00:00

That first paragraph made me roll my eyes so hard. Does this person actually own a dog? Usually if other owners ask whether mine is male or female, it's because theirs is male and tends to be aggressive towards other males. So, yes, it's a valuable piece of information to have.

... And of course the age of a dog changes the way they—! Oh my god, I'm going to stop there. Lol

Destresse · 2020-08-14T14:07:57+00:00

Well I'm not sure how late 22 is, but speaking for myself : no sign or question could have helped me. I just wasn't ready. My defence mechanism was denial, there was no way I could have accepted it no matter what was in front of me.

I think this is the case for a lot of late bloomers, realising it is just... an accumulation of facts that seeped through the wall of denial, at one point your tolerance can't take any more and the wall crumbles.

The one thing that made me realise, was listening to other lesbians for the first time. I sat there. And watched my wall crumble. I don't even think I was ready back then because I spent something like a month or two trying to find facts that could at least make me bisexual and despairing at finding none.

I guess this is something that can vary a lot from person to person, but to me it wasn't "figuring it out" it was... One day I never thought about it and the next I knew I was a lesbian and my ideal little world of denial came crashing down and I needed a lot of time to recover from a delusion that big lol

Destresse · 2020-08-12T06:37:42+00:00

Saaaaaame. I didn't want to see I was a lesbian because I didn't have the mental strength/stability to shoulder the hardships. Drawing attention particularly

Destresse · 2022-01-08T08:36:03+00:00

Same. Zero effort goes into dating lately

But anytime I've tried, I've only approached the clearly 'gender critical' women. No way I'm dealing with the stress of 'will she leave me or vilainize me if I say one wrong thing'

Destresse · 2021-12-23T17:46:30+00:00

Lol, for a moment I forgot straight women existed and I was thinking "why the hell would any woman want to be in a space full of men"

Destresse · 2021-12-16T20:01:32+00:00

"This will no longer be you." Shows kid trying to reach the top shelf.

What a great way to let us know you think we're underdeveloped. He really takes us for absolute idiots doesn't he? Lol. What kind of adult would think those are good arguments? This isn't even satire.

I reach the top shelf because I specifically put my furniture at a height that is comfortable for me. Like any intelligent adult would. Lmao.

Destresse · 2021-11-29T17:15:38+00:00

Lol, yeah. This idea has been floating around the internet for years, but I have never observed it, so I wonder. I only have 1 gay friend and it was pure luck, we've known each other since we were toddlers. I could have befriended the typical "queer" group in high school, I suppose, but it included proud "yaoi fans" so... Lol. So I went for the more discreet people. 6 straights, 1 bi, and me. Not a bad statistic, but definitely not "we all turned out to be ~queer~" either.

Destresse · 2021-09-18T23:54:17+00:00

He would totally have sex with himself if he could, right? It's so weird. Get out of your own head...

Destresse · 2021-08-28T14:24:16+00:00

The world has wronged you. I don't know what else to say... I am part of those people who fight injustice and unfairness with pettiness and anger. It makes me angry. Why in the world should you be the one caving and disappearing when the world finds you unsightly? No one's entitled to your life. There are other angry unsightly people who you definitely belong with.

You know, I read this while sitting next to the water on a forest path with my dog sniffing grass behind me. And I thought about how far away and alone we all are, us "transphobic" LGB. How unfair is that? We're being isolated for daring to assert our right to, hah, how ironic, exist. The thing trans people constantly complain about. "OuR rIgHt tO eXiSt." Between us and them, we all know who are the ones living authentically. Are you going to give up existing? Are you going to let them have that win over you? Okay, that's a bit provocative and I sound like a sports coach lol. But, you have options, and disappearing is just what those deranged people want. People like you are on the front lines to be honest, so I can't imagine what it must be like for you. But if you go down, it's going to hit moral pretty damn hard. The fact you're still standing is inspiring hope in and of itself.

Here are some thoughts: You mentioned two other male youtubers who do gender critical stuff, why not come in contact with them and ask for a collab/an interview/I don't know what else? I've seen quite a lot of youtubers become fast friends when their share content and stuff, maybe it can help with the loneliness a bit.

Is there an LGB alliance where you're from, or any kind of gender critical LGB org? You could either volunteer to work with them (and make new nice colleagues) or they could help get you in contact with other gender critical LGBs in your area. With any luck there might gay men in the lot. In any case, it could be a good idea to get info on this front.

Also we'll have an LGB sub without all the TQ bull soon, so it'll be easier to connect in a more light-hearted way. There might be people on here who live close by too. I remember the recurrent "anyone living in X?" posts on r/truelesbians lol.

I've tried to write this as well as I could and I still feel like a failure. Comforting people is hard when you don't know them, so I'm deciding to publish this in a "hit or miss" state of mind.

I hope you will feel better soon.

Destresse · 2021-08-15T10:27:51+00:00

Using heterosexual laws of existence when they don't apply to you, I'm guessing.

Destresse · 2021-07-27T15:03:13+00:00

I was going to say this exactly lol

Comfort and security. Ah. Yes. So much comfort. So much security.

Destresse · 2021-07-14T21:52:00+00:00

Not an English speaker so I might be missing the point entirely depending on how well I understood your post.

"Wokeness", to me, defines the infinite need to have an idealised, anesthesised social climate. Where no one hurts, no words hurt, and we are all cute rabbits and teddy bears getting along.

Since this is impossible, because life is the way life is, the only way to achieve this kind of social climate is with, no surprise, extreme authoritarism. Using guilt as primary weapon. Shaming as second. Punishment as third.

Wokeness is giving up on laws of nature. Nature is unfair, unequal, random, chaotic. Wokeness feels superior to nature, it's the idea that we are bigger than our real, natural limitations. No, we cannot care about every single injustice in this world. No, we cannot help but feel wary about people who look unfamiliar. Yes, we tend to trust good-looking people more. Yes, we have prejudices, expectations, snap-judgements. Wokeness has declared war on our natural limitations. The brain does this for 1/ survival, and 2/ efficiency. But we can simultaneously accept it and not become a slave to it. We can live with it while not letting it rule us. Going on borderline religious crusades to remove all of our judging functions is... Well, pick your word. Stupid, irresponsible, illogical, disrespectful, insulting, hubris, unrealistic, etc. I'd pick hubris. The sheer arrogance of these people. They'd do well to remember we're just animals on a planet inside a universe. We aren't gods. We don't control everything. (like people's sex, lol. As if we could ever do this. The arrogance.) I've noticed they tend to have this in common. They just refuse to accept humility as humans. They want to control their body, their mind, their environment, and other's bodies, and minds, and—...

Yeah, wokeness is all about humans as all-powerful beings who are above laws of the universe lol.

It's about absolute control.

Destresse · 2021-07-10T06:14:32+00:00

"Blake" is a man's name, no? So they transitioned to men, so born female.

Destresse · 2021-06-11T01:36:15+00:00

I have once had a discussion with my sister that lots of lesbians have the same facial structures. There is some sort genetic at play, I believe.

If there were more research done on female homosexuality I'd actually have an easier time accepting myself, and that's why those kinds of "I chose to be a lesbian" statement really make me angry. My main problem with my sexual orientation is that, to me, it doesn't make sense. I can't make sense of it. Why in the world am I a lesbian? What's the purpose of this? What's my role in the species?

One thing in particular I've always found unsettling. In periods of ovulation, I get horny. If I were straight, this would make sense, since it would be to maximise the chances of reproduction. But me? What is the point of this? This is usually when I circle back into "am I really just defective?"

I try really hard not to dislike my sexual orientation on a daily basis and here these women go, being "out and proud" when they don't even know what being a lesbian is. They've found their sense in it. Yeah good for them, I guess. Meanwhile, lesbians will go many more years being ignored.

Destresse · 2021-06-03T05:16:29+00:00

I miss it too :(

Destresse · 2021-05-18T18:22:54+00:00

Yeah, I understand. I daydream about getting a girlfriend and stuff but then I wonder, would I even be able to handle it? I don't know. I don't get along with many people, i need a lot a lot a lot of alone time, so not only is my dating pool limited by my sexuality, it's also limited by my personality lol.

I tried dating apps and at first it was fine, but after some time of finding no one I could really connect with I gave up. I like in-person contact way better but I'm such an introvert that's basically statistically impossible.

So here I am now. Getting closer and closer to 30, with zero romantic experience haha. I just don't know how to change it. At 22, I thought I was already too old so I put this pressure on myself and the years just made it worse. Now I feel kind of paralyzed and very sad about it, but what can I do, I mean. That's my own fault and I have no idea how to fix it.

I'd say go for it. What do you have to lose? If nothing is holding you back except the fear of disappointment then you should absolutely try!

Destresse · 2021-03-19T16:40:42+00:00

Funny how they think one American gave us our rights.

As if : 1/ it wasn't a global rebellion that gave us our rights 2/ the rest of the world doesn't exist

Who cares if Marsha threw the first brick or not. Who cares if he would have identified as trans were he born years later. Even if a black transwoman threw the first brick, so what? Hearing them repeat this mantra over and over is so tiresome when it is so meaningless in essence. Homosexual people gave themselves their rights. As a whole. As a movement.

So tired of this "the individual can change the world" mentality. No, as a single person, no one can do anything against systemic oppression. We will never stop needing each other.

Destresse · 2021-01-25T22:06:40+00:00

Breed— I'm sorry???

Destresse · 2022-01-06T01:50:35+00:00

Crazy how they all sound like bots when trying to argue. And when the programming runs out of lines, retreat and silence.

Destresse · 2021-12-20T17:27:08+00:00

I don't like how "coming out" is used about everything nowadays. There is a difference between having a controversial opinion and being homo/bi-sexual. Being shamed for your values is nothing like being shamed for what you are, so I think the distinction should remain. We're losing enough of our words and culture as it is.

Destresse · 2021-10-16T08:20:21+00:00

The more they push for "LGBTQA+ visibility", the more I want to crawl into a hole and hide

Destresse · 2021-10-16T08:08:41+00:00

Oh, is Twitter restricting access to those who don't have an account? It's been harassing me with "you need an account to see this" lately and now I only get a black screen with "try again" lol

Too bad, morbid curiosity always made me click on those twitter links to see what next level of screwed up they were reaching 😆

Destresse · 2021-10-13T17:32:48+00:00

She... thinks her date is out to get her and will murder her because some gay guys on reddit told her gay men aren't into females? Lol. What the hell. Their lives always sound so pathetically sad. Also: "I'm not biologically female because my brain is male and brain is part of biology" sounds like a 5-year-old's logic 😭

Destresse · 2021-09-25T15:21:07+00:00

About this:

bisexuals only have value (to the community) if they're with the same sex

I don't think it's true. Or, err, let's say it's complex. A few het-partnered bisexuals are involved in LGB-related fights and are precious allies. Just because they've been with an opposite sex partner for a while doesn't mean they don't get same-sex attraction, it's just that their perspective is very different from ours.

I get what you're saying about bi-women experiences being generalised on the Internet though. Most "queer" memes and humour are bi-women memes and humour. They still call it "queer" and "gay". Most things "queer" on the net, I just ignore. It's all very superficial.

Destresse · 2021-08-23T18:09:01+00:00

I also wondered if some women tie being attractive to men into their self image

Yes, definitely. From my perspective, I've seen this when they insist on giving me "a makeover", or when they act concerned and even offended at how they judge my clothes not flattering enough. They often interpret it as self-hate. Or trauma. They can't wrap their head around the fact I'm not interested in looking pretty or feminine. And I'm not even gender non-conforming. I look pretty plain in fact. But lots show frustration at how I don't, ah, how do they put it... show my assets? Something like that.

Yeah, it's disheartening when it comes from someone close. Reminds me of my mother-in-law, last time I told her I met someone, she immediately went "a man??" lmao. Nope, sorry to disappoint, still homosexual. But this one is a case of "I clearly have no idea what homosexuality is" lol.

Geez, I'm frustrated. I wish I had a clear answer but all I can do is theorise endlessly. I never mustered the courage to ask point blank "why are you reacting like this". I bet they don't even know themselves.

Destresse · 2021-08-01T13:13:36+00:00

This is a venting place though, it doesn't have anything to prove to anyone.

Giving a better image is done with serious organisations, not international forums where anyone can participate. Even though I commend the work of the moderators who keep this place civilised lol :)

I understand your need, the thing is: this isn't the right place for activism. But we do have more and more options over the world now, you might find something you can do to help where you live

Destresse · 2021-07-26T21:57:26+00:00

Well, I didn't even know I was a lesbian when I was in high school so my answers aren't going to be from the pov of an out person.

Would you consider that your experience was positive or negative overall? Why?

Negative, because my inability to know who I am made me extremely fake and awkward with people. I spent more time daydreaming about befriending certain people than actually interacting. Lol

Do you feel like you missed out on certain things because you were gay or bi? If so, which things?

Indirectly, maybe. Like I said I didn't know who I was so that limited my enjoyment of life very much. I wish I could say that if I were straight or bi I'd have had some teenage romances but, honestly... I doubt. 😂

How do you feel being gay/bi has impacted you as a person?

Well. Realising I'm a lesbian had a very positive impact: I finally truly did find myself, pieces were put together, I put my life in order, and I now have goals and desires and am generally happy to be alive. Negative impact: uh... It made me so anxious and distressed I called the emergency number because I thought I was having a heart attack. Lol yes. I'm embarrassed. I remember the sigh of the lady on the other end telling me "this is just anxiety, ma'am." 😳

Do you feel like it's important for you to have other gay friends or is it indifferent?

Yes. My childhood friend is gay, and growing up together was. Hm. I don't know what word to use. I feel very lucky, that's all. The chances of this happening are very slim, so I'm glad this chance fell upon me. We have been calling each other brother/sister since middle school lol

I need to befriend other lesbians though, because that helps immensely with the self-acceptance. Dating does too. But neither are my area of expertise sadly 🤣

In summary, I think my personality screwed me over way more than my sexual orientation as a teenager. But did it play a role? Was I so lost because I was in denial and couldn't accept myself or was I in denial because I was lost? Hard to say.

Destresse · 2021-06-23T19:44:32+00:00

"the LGBTQIA2S+ community"

Ah, when will they stop.

Destresse · 2021-04-02T19:08:50+00:00

"non-trans lesbians please read"

please read

I feel so much hatred in this instant.

Destresse · 2021-01-22T13:23:23+00:00

Yes. It makes me so angry I have no word.

Destresse · 2021-01-18T21:48:46+00:00

Well, I don't think anyone should have to be dangerous in order to be respected

Destresse · 2021-12-05T22:19:48+00:00

I was approached by people who work for the state to participate in promotional content about my job and line of work. Can you believe that. I wondered why it had to be me, out of the few millions of people in this country, and apparently, I am the only woman in my region who chose to pursue technical studies this year. So they said it'd be good to promote gender equality in the industrial field. I know women are rare in industries, but this is ridiculous lol. The only one. The only one. I won't recover from knowing this. I feel weird now.