If you dare criticize the trans ideology, you're hurting the gay/lesbian movement. by Kai_Decadence in LGBDropTheT

[–]Kai_Decadence[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Okay now see, some would think that would be paranoia but I can actually see some potential validity in this thought. I wonder if this is going to happen with Jazz Jennings....

If you dare criticize the trans ideology, you're hurting the gay/lesbian movement. by Kai_Decadence in LGBDropTheT

[–]Kai_Decadence[S] 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Very good point and you're right, it's better for us to be seen as the "bad guy" if it means protecting these children from being guinea pigs and wrecking their lives health-wise before they've even begun truly living. Look at Jazz Jennings. He was thrust into the gender ideology as a child and he has been robbed of having a normal puberty, sexual/romantic relationships when he turned 18 as he's been having so much difficulty finding people willing to date and/or sex him (turned down by a straight guy and a lesbian for obvious reasons). And he's in pain physically and has mental stunting more than likely due to the puberty blockers. The poor man is a wreck and they want to push other kids to have a similar fate? Get fucked.

If you dare criticize the trans ideology, you're hurting the gay/lesbian movement. by Kai_Decadence in LGBDropTheT

[–]Kai_Decadence[S] 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

LOVE IT. I haven't been in school in years and I'm not on TikTok neither so I'm not exposed to the youth generation all that much but I remember the "Super straight" movement and how it was started by a young man (who was under the age of 25, I think he was 19 or 20) and that was the perfect example of how this trans ideology has been harming the next generation.

If you dare criticize the trans ideology, you're hurting the gay/lesbian movement. by Kai_Decadence in LGBDropTheT

[–]Kai_Decadence[S] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Right exactly. The first thing that came to my mind was the "gender unicorn" example as well though I never heard of the "genderbread person" (lol). I was just questioning if these things were actually being put into school curriculum because I've only heard it referenced by two people (mothers) who brought this up.

My problems with these resources is that they 1) Rely on very traditional gender role stereotype, 2) Present gender transition as all "rainbows and unicorns" when it's actually something that has very serious, lifelong consequences for someone who chooses to transition, consequences that are beyond the ability of young children to comprehend, and 3) May cause students with autism, trauma, or other difficulties with social adjustment or development to misdiagnose themselves as transgender and attribute all their adjustment problems to the wrong cause.

Exactly. These children are being treated as guinea pigs and it's horrible because we've already seen how HRT and "gender surgeries" can have lifelong negative consequences on adults and it's inhumane to allow children to do the same thing wreaking havoc on their body and health before they're even 21. And like you said, it's already bad enough that these "specialists" cannot even describe and explain what "gender" is without using stereotypes of the opposite sex that are socially constructed and subtly enforced from the day we are born.

It's definitely happening, and it's quite organized.

And don't forget financially exploitable. Getting children to believe in gender ideology and urge their parents to let them get puberty blockers and HRT is money put into the pockets of these corporations. And if you can get these kids to get the surgeries, that's your lifelong patient right there. It's a goldmine.

The pressure to transition as effeminate gay men by Chunkeeguy in LGBDropTheT

[–]Kai_Decadence 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I honestly believe that the only time a masculine woman will face harassment is if she actually makes herself look masculine i.e very short hair and all. I think on the surface that masculine women are deemed acceptable but only if they blend in femininity with it. But once they start ditching femininity altogether, that's when the hate from others (mostly men) tend to come out.

If men aren't allowed to have male only spaces, why should we allow women to have their own spaces? by Kai_Decadence in GenderCritical

[–]Kai_Decadence[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Oh crap I forgot about that one. I remember reading about that maybe 2 or 3 days after it happened but no one I knew personally was talking about it and I'm not on Twitter all that much.

If men aren't allowed to have male only spaces, why should we allow women to have their own spaces? by Kai_Decadence in GenderCritical

[–]Kai_Decadence[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

This might be true but who are the ones who usually berate and belittle men who get assaulted by women? It's usually other men. I'm not saying that the assault is right because it absolutely isn't no matter woman or man but I think if men stopped making fun of other men for things like that (and especially mentally health, this whole "suffer in silence" thing), it would certainly help.

If men aren't allowed to have male only spaces, why should we allow women to have their own spaces? by Kai_Decadence in GenderCritical

[–]Kai_Decadence[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Private clubs can legally avoid discrimination issues, but they don't want the hassle and bad press if they are famous enough to warrant attention.

Right, that makes a lot of sense really.

Look at 'all women' colleges. If men(non T's) tried to get into some of the women's ones, we all know what the reaction would be whereas if it was the other way around, people would be pushing for the all men one to admit women.

Very good point which is why what's happening with female sports is so sad to see.

If men aren't allowed to have male only spaces, why should we allow women to have their own spaces? by Kai_Decadence in GenderCritical

[–]Kai_Decadence[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I'll try to remember this all.

If men aren't allowed to have male only spaces, why should we allow women to have their own spaces? by Kai_Decadence in GenderCritical

[–]Kai_Decadence[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Men do not need their own spaces because women do not pose a threat to men. Male privilege means men are more likely to be taken seriously than women. If a man says he's raped by a women, he will most likely be believed, unlike a woman raped by a man who most people will assume she is making false accusations. Yet despite men being more likely to be taken seriously, I can't find a single article online about a man being raped by a woman, or a woman implanting a camera in a public bathroom. Yet I can find plenty of news articles of men raping women. Trust me if a man was raped by a woman it would be all over the news because men are privileged like that. Men would also be more openly sexist.

I agree wholeheartedly with this and I know what you said is truth. I remember when I first peaked and was trying to understand more of the radical feminist perspective, I got in an argument with some MRA about rape and how "men get raped by women just as much as women get raped by men". I was curious so I tried to look for cases that had a woman raping a man and I couldn't find any documented case at the time. I did a quick search now and only came up with two cases but I understand that the underlying point is that men raping women is FAR MORE frequent than the reverse. And you're right, if men raping women was as common as some of these men claim, we would be seeing these case stories all over in the media.

I also think it's OK for black people to reclaim the n-word but it's racist for white people to use that word, and its OK for black people to have black only spaces but "whites only" is racist. Black people did not systematically enslave white people, or beat and murder white people on a regular basis. They did not deny rights and opportunities to white people.

As a black person, this is an interesting perspective. I personally don't think anyone should be saying the N-word in earnest because it's such an ugly word but that's my own opinion of course. Though I thank you for explaining the difference between an all-black space vs an all-white space. I remember seeing some white people in the past complaining how it's unfair for them to not have an all-white space yet black people are allowed to and it not being racist.

In 2015, Dylann Storm Roof shot an entire black church after they let him pray for an hour. Later the same year, white supremacist Gregory Bush shot 2 black elders at a Kroger's in Louisville, Kentucky. Minutes before moving to Kroger's, he tried to enter a black church but was denied. See that church had a safety reason to keep out white people, but what reason would a white church have for excluding black people?

Totally understandable perspective. I can't recall ever hearing about a black individual shooting up an event or space that had a majority white turnout.

IMO men's bathrooms, changing rooms etc. should be made for everyone as men have no need to keep those spaces to themselves. Women's facilities should remain for natal females only. Women should have the option of using both facilities. Some women want to be away from men. Others do not care. Men should use the common facilities which should be designated for both sexes.

While I think that a third space that is unisex would be the best middleground, I do understand why you feel the way you do because men don't actively pose a threat to women for obvious reason.

If men aren't allowed to have male only spaces, why should we allow women to have their own spaces? by Kai_Decadence in GenderCritical

[–]Kai_Decadence[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah? Nah. Do we really need updates on all the stupid comments made by people on other parts of the internet, which is not reflective of the real world even in the best of circumstances, especially obscure ones like where you got this nonsense? I don't think we do. There is nothing of value to be found where you are looking.

I do agree but I really was curious about this one because it's not the first time I've seen these kinda men make these stupid claims (I've heard this IRL as well at my job back when the Maya Forstater case was happening and JK Rowling came out in support. One of my woman coworkers even said she didn't see why Rowling was saying what she was saying...) and whenever I would watch videos about feminist issues from the radical feminist angle because the MRAs who call themselves feminists ("libfems") stuff is useless when it comes to certain topics and you'd see some comments like that and I never saw responses from radfems so I was curious to hear what radfems think whenever they hear this kinda crap.

But lesson learned, I'll try not to keep asking these kinda questions. It seems that when men say that kinda stuff ("feminists wanted this", "this is true equality" (when Feminism was never about equality...), etc) is just them showing their misogyny.

If men aren't allowed to have male only spaces, why should we allow women to have their own spaces? by Kai_Decadence in GenderCritical

[–]Kai_Decadence[S] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I agree with you wholeheartedly.

If men aren't allowed to have male only spaces, why should we allow women to have their own spaces? by Kai_Decadence in GenderCritical

[–]Kai_Decadence[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I just want to clarify that I don't think women have tried to invade spaces that were male only while ignoring the business type avenues but that was not the same thing and I know it was necessary because of the unfair power dynamics that were in place decades ago. I was just sharing a comment of what some guy said about the Women's festival being shut down and I was having trouble trying to think of male only spaces where woman have done what he was saying and the only male only space I was picturing in my head aside from the men's restroom was male sports leagues. I was just drawing a blank at some other examples but ultimately I had a feeling the guy was talking out his bum and your detailed answered just showed that the guy was talking nonsense.

If men aren't allowed to have male only spaces, why should we allow women to have their own spaces? by Kai_Decadence in GenderCritical

[–]Kai_Decadence[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Right I knew this guy most likely was talking out his butt. So as long as the clubs act as "private", they are able to avoid discrimination accusations.

And also very well said~

Masculine Gay & Bi Men Gaslighting Feminine Gay Men to believe they are Trans? by Kai_Decadence in LGBDropTheT

[–]Kai_Decadence[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Right the "straight" (aka closet case bisexuals and gays) are the ones who try to push us into believing we're not men, I've gotten a few times from these kinds of guys enough to see this is really a thing.

And yeah the masculine gay men who do this do it because they think feminine guys make gay men look bad so they try to erase us out in a foolish attempt to believe that if we go "trans", it'll make gay men look "normal" but what they don't understand is that ultimately it doesn't matter because homophobic people will still think they are abnormal because they are attracted to other men.

Masculine Gay & Bi Men Gaslighting Feminine Gay Men to believe they are Trans? by Kai_Decadence in LGBDropTheT

[–]Kai_Decadence[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Oh for sure, I've been resilient to this stuff for years now and I know not to internalize it because that's part of the problem with the whole HSTS thing where those feminine men clearly internalized the negativeness directed at feminine gay men.

Masculine Gay & Bi Men Gaslighting Feminine Gay Men to believe they are Trans? by Kai_Decadence in LGBDropTheT

[–]Kai_Decadence[S] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Men may just want you to play the role of a stereotypical/traditional "cis" woman... not to actually identify as a "trans" woman.

Believe me, that's not what some of these bisexual guys mean. The ones who have internalized homophobia but are attracted to feminine men will try to "other" men like me and try to make it out like we're not men which justifies in their puzzled mind that it's "not gay". The ones who don't have internalized homophobia? Yeah they fit what you're talking about and they don't "other" men like myself.

The story about your ex, that's definitely kinda weird, I'm not gonna lie lol

Masculine Gay & Bi Men Gaslighting Feminine Gay Men to believe they are Trans? by Kai_Decadence in LGBDropTheT

[–]Kai_Decadence[S] 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Hm you're probably right. Another reaosn though why I feel some masculine gay men may do this to men like me is because they don't want to feel guilty for not preferring feminine gay men. The whole "Masc vs Fem" argument is a tale as old as time in the gay sphere and there's no denying that majority gay men tend to prefer mascuuline men and I feel like a portion of these men don't want to feel guilt for not being attracted to feminine gay men so they use the whole "I'm not attracted to feminine men because I like men (masculinity)". So they try to delude themselves into thinking they don't have internalized homophobia by acting like we feminine men are not men at all so of course they wouldn't be attracted to us which is foolish and silly because they don't have to be attracted to us.

I think there's also a recognition in liberal spaces that you'll never get in trouble for pushing transness or suggesting someone may be trans, which leads to people being more comfortable making that suggestion than they really should be.

This is a good point. It's depressing...

Masculine Gay & Bi Men Gaslighting Feminine Gay Men to believe they are Trans? by Kai_Decadence in LGBDropTheT

[–]Kai_Decadence[S] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

There probably are some bisexual guys that deal with it on the basis that feminine men aren't "real men" so they aren't truly gay for liking them. I mean it's a common joke but for some people they honestly feel that way

Oh trust me, there are, I've had the displeasure of dealing with them lol.

The issue with this it gets back to attraction is just about roles and superficial things rather than the very real biological reality that as of now we can't change.

Exactly and that's why I refuse to play into their delusional view of attraction when it comes to this.

The issue is the people who were saying ah it's okay to be GNC have no gone back and said if you are GNC you might be trans.

Right! I have noticed this as well and I especially see this happen in gay forum threads with younger men who question if they're really men when they're interested in feminine things and some of the replies either tell them that might be trans or that they are trans and that is what is fucked up about it and why I try to talk with these guys when I can and try to explain that it's just stereotypes and doesn't mean anything.

You're probably right that most gay men who try to gaslight feminine gay men with this gender crap is that they're doing it to virtue signal.

How the Zoomers turned the world queer one relationship at a time by Chunkeeguy in LGBDropTheT

[–]Kai_Decadence 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

... "Them"? lol

How the Zoomers turned the world queer one relationship at a time by Chunkeeguy in LGBDropTheT

[–]Kai_Decadence 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It definitely did. Social media use by the youth was at an all time high during the pandemic lock-downs. That's why there was so much activity on TikTok and Twitter especially.

Q for Questioning? Nah, Q for Queer! by DickFreeBacon in LGBDropTheT

[–]Kai_Decadence 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

That's awesome actually LOL

TIM Jessie "Gender" Earl tells real women to shut up about their abuse and DARVOs his way out of criticism by jay-day in GenderCritical

[–]Kai_Decadence 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Totally understand why you're infuriated by him, he's like Riley J. Dennis with twice the obnoxiousness (only because Riley has stopped making videos for years now), twice the lesbian fetishism, and er... About equal the manipulative scumminess.

TIM Jessie "Gender" Earl tells real women to shut up about their abuse and DARVOs his way out of criticism by jay-day in GenderCritical

[–]Kai_Decadence 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

EW I know which video that was. He said that in the "Gender Critical pipeline" video towards the middle end of it.

Two relatively new GC Youtube channels you might not yet be aware of: 'Sailor Uranus' & 'Same Sex Attracted & Cancelled' by SnowAssMan in GenderCritical

[–]Kai_Decadence 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I know and it's so fucking annoying. It's so clear that Uranus was just a tomboy/butch woman. She wasn't trying to "be a man" or whatever BS gender woo people try to paint her as and it's annoying how they latched on this character who was a genuinely positive portrayal of a butch woman.

Am I being a hypocrite by advocating for GNC Gay men to not "transition" when I have trouble in my own life as a GNC gay man? by Kai_Decadence in LGBDropTheT

[–]Kai_Decadence[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Thank you. I'll try

Am I being a hypocrite by advocating for GNC Gay men to not "transition" when I have trouble in my own life as a GNC gay man? by Kai_Decadence in LGBDropTheT

[–]Kai_Decadence[S] 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

They're not bisexual; they are fetishists of a particular kind.

But that's just it, they ARE bisexual. Fetish or not, if these men are having attraction enough to have sexual intercourse with feminine men, that is a bisexual attraction, these men can be attracted to both sexes only with the same sex, they prefer them to be feminine. Believe me, I've done lots of analyzing on these kinds of men for about close to a decade now and it's the internalized homophobia that runs within these bisexual men because they can have it too.

Essentially, bisexual guys can be just as likely to fall victim into internalized homophobia because unlike us gay/homosexual men, they grew up being able to have attraction towards the opposite sex. Some of these men can even go for most of their formulative years thinking they are straight until they come across another a guy who pikes their interest and causes their bisexual awakening. But because these bi men grew up socialized into the societal heteronormativity, that means they also witnessed how societal heteronormative structure views homosexual men and depending on the environment, "others" homosexual or perceived homosexual men. We all know that effeminate boy who was bullied by other boys in school, the effeminate gay teen who got bullied for not being masculine, how the church views homosexuality (for the more religious-minded bisexual church goer who hasn't had their bi awakening), how homosexuals are viewed and treated in places like the south, etc. ALL these things bisexuals who don't know their bisexual take all this in and it's what fuels their internalized homophobia when they have their bi awakening. But when they have it, they are then in a very uncomfortable position because they fear that if they acknowledge their same sex (gay) attraction, they risk losing that societal heteronormative acceptance that they got after being able to fit into that parameter.

So what usually happens is that a lot of bisexual guys try to repress that attraction and only focus on the sex aspect. They try to view men as a sex object so they can dissuade themselves from developing feelings like you would a sex toy. But usually what happens with these men, especially the ones attracted to feminine men is that when they get older, they start to be open to dating men but usually they're the ones who try going after feminine men (including trans-identified men) who are like 20-30 years younger than them and then get surprised when they do't want them on average because of the huge age gap.

Everything else, I see where you're coming from and will take into consideration.

Am I being a hypocrite by advocating for GNC Gay men to not "transition" when I have trouble in my own life as a GNC gay man? by Kai_Decadence in LGBDropTheT

[–]Kai_Decadence[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

So my question to you is, might it be possible to modulate your self expression in a way that puts others more at ease? Please understand, I am not asking you to change essential parts of your core self, rather to question whether outer manifestations are really that essential.

So in other words, start styling myself more like a masculine man. My answer to that is I just don't want to do that because i have no interest in fashiion styles coded as masculine. Part of the reason why I started looking more androgynous is because I always thought masculine fashion was so boring and how I was stuck looking that way until I got to my senior year in high school. I always thought feminine fashion was so much more fun, experimental, and tons of options to choose from. And the other part was seeing how tomboys looked the way they wanted to regardless of society saying they need to embrace femininity.

I understand that this is seen as selfish but I mean, it's not like there is anything fundamentally inappropriate with the way I style myself. I don't dress like an AGP for example and most of the time I'm covered head to toe unless I'm at the gym and even then, I try to dress within my realm.

On the point about how you met your husband, I think it's very different when it comes to gender nonconforming men and I've seen that it can lead to problems when a feminine gnc gay man pretends to be masculine (whether in personality, style, and/or both) and then slowly start unraveling their true selves via becoming more feminine and how the partner gets very turned off and frustrated. I remember years ago reading on gay forums and how a popular topic was "My boyfriend is becoming more fem and I'm not attracted to it" and other similar sentiments. So for me personally, I'd rather just be myself upfront instead of sprining it on a guy who I essentially lure in and trick who I'll risk running into problems with when my true self starts slipping out.

So honestly, as hard as my life can be being the way I am, I guess this is just something I have to push through. There's not much template to follow since there are hardly any older feminine gender nonconforming men out there but where there's a will, there's a way and like I said, I'd rather kill myself going out knowing that I did live my life on my terms then change myself and be internally miserable. If women were able to get to a point where it's not seen as a big deal for them to appear any way they like and it's not seen as a big deal anymore, so can men.

Am I being a hypocrite by advocating for GNC Gay men to not "transition" when I have trouble in my own life as a GNC gay man? by Kai_Decadence in LGBDropTheT

[–]Kai_Decadence[S] 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

You're probably right. At the end of the day I am staying true to myself despite my hardships but i have to admit that some of the negative can enter my mind.

"Not all lesbians are homosexual" 🤡 by jay-day in LGBDropTheT

[–]Kai_Decadence 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I can’t take it anymore by WanderingLost in LGBDropTheT

[–]Kai_Decadence 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

OMFG you are so right about how common these nutters are when it comes to fandoms or media entertainment communities, especially video games and art/animation. These people are EVERYWHERE and it fucking sucks. What used to be a safe haven for us gays and lesbians, especially of the nonconforming variety, they've now turned into these cesspools of gender nonsense.

I can’t take it anymore by WanderingLost in LGBDropTheT

[–]Kai_Decadence 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I'm so sorry you're going through this, I can't say I can relate in the sense of having all my friends "transition" since I frankly never had many friends to begin with but I can relate in the sense that whenever I come across other feminine gay men, a huge majority of them are either trans-identified or they're "non-binary", pretty much trying to avoid the real term of what they are which are "feminine men" and as a feminine gay man myself, some days I feel like I'm the only one who knows who he is, knows that men can't be women regardless of how they dress, and is just keeping it 100% real even if it is socially difficult.

So in that regard, I totally understand where you're coming from and I'm so sorry you're experiencing this. I highly recommend reading Abigail Shrier's book like Superbi suggested, she makes some great observations that at the very least, can help you know you're not alone if you're even feeling like that. But also because you're in grad school, it really is best you try to keep it to yourself until you graduate, then go wild. In the meantime, if you really need to vent, come here or Ovarit and get it all out.

New argument I came across for transgender ideology with the concept of "gender". by Kai_Decadence in GenderCritical

[–]Kai_Decadence[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Right because every cell in the human body has your chromosomes and that would include the brain.

New argument I came across for transgender ideology with the concept of "gender". by Kai_Decadence in GenderCritical

[–]Kai_Decadence[S] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

No you are correct with the form, I don't think how you act or live as an individual through personality determines your sex. Gender as far as I'm concerned is just personality and/or demeanor. It doesn't change your sex. Biological sex is immutable and cannot change. In short, no I don't buy into the QT/TRA view of things, I find it utter nonsense.

New argument I came across for transgender ideology with the concept of "gender". by Kai_Decadence in GenderCritical

[–]Kai_Decadence[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Flippyking was right that I was looking to get a gender critical perspective and not a "Trans" perspective because I know it'll just more or less be the same. I wasn't looking for a debate, just a perspective since it was the first I got someone trying to answer the questions they usually can't answer.

New argument I came across for transgender ideology with the concept of "gender". by Kai_Decadence in GenderCritical

[–]Kai_Decadence[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

You are correct. I wanted to get insight from gender critical take.

New argument I came across for transgender ideology with the concept of "gender". by Kai_Decadence in GenderCritical

[–]Kai_Decadence[S] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Right so all it really boils down to is that this person internalized the socially constructed stereotypes and may not even realize it? Because if the brain is being told one thing i.e that a man's brain is telling him he's female, it's going to have to default to the socially constructed stereotypes of women which is tied to femininity otherwise why even bring it up?

Dating as a Gay or Lesbian while not believing in Trans Ideology, how has it been? by Kai_Decadence in LGBDropTheT

[–]Kai_Decadence[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Haha hopefully it goes well, sometimes people can surprise us when it comes to this stuff and right back at you :)

Dating as a Gay or Lesbian while not believing in Trans Ideology, how has it been? by Kai_Decadence in LGBDropTheT

[–]Kai_Decadence[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I totally understand that fear, I'm the same way but hopefully we won't ever have to experience that lol.But yeah for now, probably best to just focus on your studies.

Dating as a Gay or Lesbian while not believing in Trans Ideology, how has it been? by Kai_Decadence in LGBDropTheT

[–]Kai_Decadence[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Right

Dating as a Gay or Lesbian while not believing in Trans Ideology, how has it been? by Kai_Decadence in LGBDropTheT

[–]Kai_Decadence[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Ah I see. Well it's nice that they did come around with time to understand where you were coming from.

Dating as a Gay or Lesbian while not believing in Trans Ideology, how has it been? by Kai_Decadence in LGBDropTheT

[–]Kai_Decadence[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah you might be right. Like how back when the gender critical sub got hounded by trans-identified men before it closed down.

Dating as a Gay or Lesbian while not believing in Trans Ideology, how has it been? by Kai_Decadence in LGBDropTheT

[–]Kai_Decadence[S] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I totally understand where you're coming form. I'm a feminine presenting gay man so my dating pool has been pretty empty since in the man-loving-man dating scene, femininity isn't really seen as particularly attractive so yeah, I've been dealing with navigating the gay dating scene with that general rule of attraction on gay men so I haven't met many gay men in personal for dating and whatnot. But on the gay forums, I do see what you mean with many gay men spouting homophobic claims just like you mentioned. It's like an episode of Black Mirror or the Twilight Zone lol.

And don't feel too bad about not being as open as you'd like to be with your views. You have to put yourself first and since you live in the eye of the storm via a heavily politically left area that no dobut has a lot of "w0kE" people there and you want to keep your job, it's totally understandable why you keep them to yourself for the time being. I'm more or less the same with my own views where I try not to talk about it at work. I only did once and it was with a Lesbian coworker who actually opened up and confided to me how annoyed she was seeing many men on the dating app "HER" that she used because she would be getting hit on them so much which trampolined into us talking about how we didn't believe in Trans ideology (It was pretty cathartic, I won't lie haha). But yeah for now, just focus on you and when you're in a better situation or the trans bubble bursts and more people peak, it can be a better time to air out what you really think.

Dating as a Gay or Lesbian while not believing in Trans Ideology, how has it been? by Kai_Decadence in LGBDropTheT

[–]Kai_Decadence[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

but the topic doesn't come up enough for it to be an issue

I can see why it would be easier to deal with if the topic doesn't come up. I'm guessing you use your "non-binary" friend's preferred pronouns as well?

Dating as a Gay or Lesbian while not believing in Trans Ideology, how has it been? by Kai_Decadence in LGBDropTheT

[–]Kai_Decadence[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Right I think with some light nudging to some of the deep dark truths of the ideology can help plant the seed to at least get people to think more about it. They'll just have to try to wrestle with and overcome the cognitive dissonance that will definitely come into play when they start questioning the ideology.

Are there any go-to examples that you use to try planting?

Dating as a Gay or Lesbian while not believing in Trans Ideology, how has it been? by Kai_Decadence in LGBDropTheT

[–]Kai_Decadence[S] 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah I can see it leading to problems.

Dating as a Gay or Lesbian while not believing in Trans Ideology, how has it been? by Kai_Decadence in LGBDropTheT

[–]Kai_Decadence[S] 11 insightful - 2 fun11 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

That's pretty cool to know lol. I don't meet many gays and lesbians in my personal life but I remember back in 2020, I had the opportunity to work with a coworker who happened to be a lesbian and I learned that she was annoyed that there were men on lesbian dating apps and when I told her I understood her, she just flat out said she doesn't believe men can be lesbians. It was amazing haha. I think you're right, I think that most know it's BS but aren't open about it because they don't want to deal with annoying TRA backlash.

Dating as a Gay or Lesbian while not believing in Trans Ideology, how has it been? by Kai_Decadence in LGBDropTheT

[–]Kai_Decadence[S] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Totally understandable.

Dating as a Gay or Lesbian while not believing in Trans Ideology, how has it been? by Kai_Decadence in LGBDropTheT

[–]Kai_Decadence[S] 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Aw that's so nice to hear. It's nice that you both could agree with JK Rowling especially because I know she's a hot topic of discussion that can cause division... But nice to hear you both came to an agreement.

Dating as a Gay or Lesbian while not believing in Trans Ideology, how has it been? by Kai_Decadence in LGBDropTheT

[–]Kai_Decadence[S] 9 insightful - 2 fun9 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

I'm so sorry to hear that. i heard that "HER" has gotten hit the worst when it comes to gender lunacy. On Grindr we're slowly getting there as I'm seeing more trans-identified females on there now compared to 3 years ago. And I'm even seeing more straight men appear on there as well (they say they're only looking for "FTM"). The girl you're talking about sounds like she is bisexual but I hope maybe things can work out, maybe if she gets to know you more and you have a deep heart to heart, you can sway her to come to reality. But yeah I've seen what you mean that there are a lot of Lesbians who believe in the whole "Queer" and trans bullshit which can make dating a battlefield for your ordinary lesbian.

Dating as a Gay or Lesbian while not believing in Trans Ideology, how has it been? by Kai_Decadence in LGBDropTheT

[–]Kai_Decadence[S] 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Right that one got me a bit. The poll results had a huge chunk saying they wouldn't date GC/"DropTheT" gay men but the comments didn't reflect that. I think the ones who said they wouldn't didn't want to explain why. And oh wow.

Dating as a Gay or Lesbian while not believing in Trans Ideology, how has it been? by Kai_Decadence in LGBDropTheT

[–]Kai_Decadence[S] 6 insightful - 2 fun6 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

I think that's an interesting way to go about it. I don't think the trans stuff would pop up too much unless a big situation happens like what happened with Wii Spa or Johnathan Yaniv and so on but yeah, I can understand why you'd have to part when things get serious and they are saying contradictory things about our sexuality ("Lesbians can like dick" / "Gay men can like vaginas" lol)

"The Science of Being Transgender" (Thoughts on this video?) by Kai_Decadence in GenderCritical

[–]Kai_Decadence[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Believe me, i totally get it and what you said is true that trying to diversify brains in this way is a fools quest because no brain is one and the same and many other factors can affect the brain's development. But I feel like tackling these things can be beneficial because it's the one prominent thing being used to indoctrinate people into the belief as the average person may not understand this stuff.

"The Science of Being Transgender" (Thoughts on this video?) by Kai_Decadence in GenderCritical

[–]Kai_Decadence[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Haha right?

"The Science of Being Transgender" (Thoughts on this video?) by Kai_Decadence in GenderCritical

[–]Kai_Decadence[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Right I totally understand that it's a bunch of nonsense. I pointed out the problems I found with the video and another commenter actually pointed out that there is a lot of clouded information on the supposed studies this guy cites including one that only refers back to the LBTQ+ site and I mean, of course the later would push that... The only thing that the "study" did was have a big sample size (160 children and 1600 adults) but when not accounting for various other factors, it's meaningless.

"The Science of Being Transgender" (Thoughts on this video?) by Kai_Decadence in GenderCritical

[–]Kai_Decadence[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Ah the plot thickens I see. I didn't look into the sources to see if those studies actually existed because I was too focused on mentally debunking the video because I already was seeing red flags in the supposed "study" that weren't being taken into account like homosexuality, the effects of HRT on the brain (in the adults), and the aforementioned personality, mental, and/or behavioral disorders as well as environment.

And do you suppose he could explain what a male brain is, what a female brain is, and how they're different?

Personally no but I'd gather he's just blab on about the grey matter vs white matter argument but it's pretty meaningless because there could be all kinds of developmental phenomenon that could cause that from the other aforementioned factors I questioned above.

Now when I was younger, maybe 6 or 7 years ago, I started to become critical about transgenderism, and I started to become critical about brain sex. I remember wondering, what is a male brain? What is a female brain? How do we know which is which? Besides, if a brain is in a male body wouldn't that make it, by definition, male? And why stop at sexed brains? Are there female livers? Male kidneys? Why not? And if someone had a "female brain in a male body," how would you even know? What does being a female feel like? And how should someone who by any reasonable definition is male know he's feeling female? How can you feel like something you're not? And that's not even to mention "nonbinary" people. Do gender fluid people's brains change? Are agender people missing part of the brain? Do bigender people have two brains? It makes no sense.

See this is a very good rebuttal and whenever would see other gender critical people pose these questions, they usually never get responses or in one instance I remember one saying that the brain is different because it's the system that controls the whole body. Though I think this is why some trans-identified people dislike the whole non-binary, genderfluid, agender, and greygender concept because it just puts further spotlight on the whole trans ideology and making people question why they're critical of those concepts but not so much transgender once they start to realize that the concept is reliant on socially constructed gender roles.

So, I did research. More than 6 hours I'd reckon. He's actually completely lying when he says there were "no studies without bias before 2015." There were a number of "transgender brain" studies starting in the mid 1990s with Zhou et al. They were all debunked because they either had small sample sizes, or didn't account for sexual orientation or hormone use. Factor those in and the "transgender brain" disappears. My guess is these two studies he mentions have just the same problems as the ones I read, if they exist at all.

Right, the study the studies he cites are from like 2018 and even though i haven't really read up that much about the brain sex theory, I'm aware that there have been a good many that span more than just 2-3 years but like you said, they still don't factor in sexual orientation or hormone use (or environment and potential disorders). At the most they'll say that "they're not the same as homosexuality" but they never explain why.

After reading the trans brain studies (there aren't very many), I stumbled on the book "The Man who Would be Queen" by J. Michael Bailey. It's about the idea of Blanchard's typology, that there are two kinds of MTFs: homosexual, who transition because they're naturally feminine and transitioning makes their lives easier, and nonhomosexual, who are not naturally feminine and transition due a fetish for being a woman called "autogynephile."

Right I've heard of this book many times how it was inspired upon the research of Blanchard's typology and the outrage it caused towards a lot of trans-identified men to the point where he received a ton of harassment. As for the book itself, I actually just started reading it and I am 2 chapters in and I've gotta say as a feminine gay man myself, this is hitting WAY CLOSE to home and I'm kicking myself for not reading it sooner but it explains a lot, a lot of which I figured out on my own but still, it's nice to know that these this type of literature has existed for a long time and gets everything right when it comes to the treatment of feminine boys and how it can play into one developing GID not from some mental interference but from society's treatment at large (including the treatment of gender nonconforming women).

Am I wrong in thinking that when reality finally sets back in with this Trans ideology, I think the people who supported it should feel bad about themselves for it? by Kai_Decadence in GenderCritical

[–]Kai_Decadence[S] 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah unfortunately you're right... The herd mentality when it comes to this nonsense is super terrifying.

Am I wrong in thinking that when reality finally sets back in with this Trans ideology, I think the people who supported it should feel bad about themselves for it? by Kai_Decadence in GenderCritical

[–]Kai_Decadence[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah you're right. I suppose it's a bit too idealistic to think the world will have a big wake up call with this trans crap but as long as we can reverse free speech laws, have women get their spaces back, and have more information readily available that forewarns the reality of what these drugs (HRT) and unnecessary surgeries do to the body, that should be enough.

Am I wrong in thinking that when reality finally sets back in with this Trans ideology, I think the people who supported it should feel bad about themselves for it? by Kai_Decadence in GenderCritical

[–]Kai_Decadence[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah you're probably right and I hope some call them out on their hypocrisy.

Am I wrong in thinking that when reality finally sets back in with this Trans ideology, I think the people who supported it should feel bad about themselves for it? by Kai_Decadence in GenderCritical

[–]Kai_Decadence[S] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Ew the sad thing about what you said is that it's probably true that THIS is the mindset that they're gonna have when the trans bubble pops.

Wanting to understand Feminist vs MRA by Kai_Decadence in GenderCritical

[–]Kai_Decadence[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Right, you raise a lot of good points and I've tried looking into these things that these men claim women caused and I couldn't really find anything so it sounds to me like a lot of these men are just talking out their butts and grasp on the very rare instance where a woman did something wrong and got away with it.

And what you shared at the bottom is why I don't let other men just run their mouth blaming women for problems that men by and large caused for themselves/ourselves. Women were the ones who lent a hand to vulnerable men when they didn't have to.

Wanting to understand Feminist vs MRA by Kai_Decadence in GenderCritical

[–]Kai_Decadence[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I really was being sincere. I was and still am quite uneducated with the MRA thing outside of the anger induced rants I have seen by some of the channels. But what I was not sure how to feel about when a woman calls a man an "MRA" as an insult because these men who call themselves "Mens Rights Activists" wouldn't even think it was an insult or problematic.

I guess my question is that when a feminist calls a man an MRA, is it meant as a term used to explain that the person (since I've seen women called this as well) is not worth bothering to talk to?

"Did this article just state that Marilyn Manson and Korn made goth music mainstream in the 90’s?? Tell me you know nothing about goth music without telling me you know nothing about goth music." - @thegrimmsisterr by ISaidWhatISaid in Gothic

[–]Kai_Decadence 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah pretty much. And it sucks because it's misappropriation like that that only obscures 90s Goth bands even further. Manson and Korn were never Goth, Goth in the 1990s were bands like The Wake, Rosetta Stone, Love Like Blood, Suspiria, Paralysed Age, This Ascension, and Requiem In White to name a few.

Wanting to understand Feminist vs MRA by Kai_Decadence in GenderCritical

[–]Kai_Decadence[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

As soon as you hear men say "you feminists", you know they just hate women

I think you're absolutely right about that. Every time I see a controversial thing that's mostly about annoying liberal "feminism", I would see guy comments that go "you feminists" followed by some inane thing and it just showed that they hate women, even on second wave feminists who were discussing real issues that affect women. It's pretty gross.

Wanting to understand Feminist vs MRA by Kai_Decadence in GenderCritical

[–]Kai_Decadence[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Ah okay, well that certainly helps paint a much more clearer picture. I have listened to a few MGTOW videos a couple years back and in the back of my mind it felt like these men were just bitter people what with the talk of "the wall" and all that other stuff. It's what drove me from not wanting to listen to anymore of it.

In the situation like your cousin who got reamed hard in the divorce court system, if men were coming together to talk about those more extreme situations, would that still be considered toxic?

Do individuals with CAIS have female sex organs? Or do they have male sex organs? by [deleted] in GenderCritical

[–]Kai_Decadence 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

But still, women with CAIS still develop as a female despite the genital complications from what I've read which is why it's best to just call them women because they are more than likely gonna go through life experience as a young female child no?

Do individuals with CAIS have female sex organs? Or do they have male sex organs? by [deleted] in GenderCritical

[–]Kai_Decadence 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Welp the more you know! I'm genuinely surprised there is such a condition of a male being born with a uterus and Fallopian tubes but just like CAIS, it's a very very rare condition so it's not one we have to typically worry about for most citizens. Well "worry" is probably not the best word but I hope you know what I mean. Like trans-identified people are not made up of women with CAIS or men with PMDS

TRA Argument, need some help (having to do with bathroom) by Kai_Decadence in GenderCritical

[–]Kai_Decadence[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Right, it's about getting rid of the risk of perverted men taking advantage of self-id and if you ban all men, there's just no chance of that happening so everyone wins in the end. And agreed on the father.

Do individuals with CAIS have female sex organs? Or do they have male sex organs? by [deleted] in GenderCritical

[–]Kai_Decadence 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I remember watching a little briefing on CAIS and if I remember correctly, they do possess female sex organs. The complication that comes up with them is that they are also born with internal gonads but they're non-functional and are dormant.

I don't think there's been a condition where a person born with male genitalia, was also born with a uterus.

‘I’m team Terf’: Dave Chappelle under fire over pro-JK Rowling trans stance by saiditting in GenderCritical

[–]Kai_Decadence 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Nice to hear that your partner didn't take what you showed her lightly and even if she didn't fully peak, like you said the seed has been planted and when she sees more of this gross mentality towards black women from these trans-identified men, she'll eventually come around. It's like once you start seeing this kinda stuff, you become more acutely observant when you see it

I actually went back to the video and filtered the comments by "newest" and there actually some black women who were getting peaked so yeah, I think this video and another one that I saw pop up by another black woman creator talking about Nikita Dragun (though I haven't watched that one yet), this is all good to see.

‘I’m team Terf’: Dave Chappelle under fire over pro-JK Rowling trans stance by saiditting in GenderCritical

[–]Kai_Decadence 4 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah I agree with all you said. I actually was watching Karen Davis from You're Kidding Right where she was speaking with Jennifer Bilek and Jennifer mentioned something that is pretty true with how the trans thing seems to be more of a white thing then a black thing because black people have "culture". I had to step back and think about it and I think she made a decent observation. Because you don't typically see black men coming out as "transbians". You mostly just see black gay men transing out and it's because of internalized homophobia as well as dealing with homophobia in black dominated spaces as well as dealing with the hardships of being an effeminate gay man in general in the gay dating scene so they trans out thinking it will make their lives better (which it really doesn't) but anyway yeah, this is more than likely why black women have a harder time seeing the truth about transgender ideology.

But if more black women saw what many trans-identified men think of them as aka don't really consider them women because they aren't white women, I feel like they'd sooner see how misogynistic and racist the ideology is.

‘I’m team Terf’: Dave Chappelle under fire over pro-JK Rowling trans stance by saiditting in GenderCritical

[–]Kai_Decadence 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I can see where you're coming from even though I wish people (men) would stop shutting women out and actually listen to why women don't support the ideology that is trying to erase them/you. But it also kinda irritates me when some women try to tow the line with the ideology like they won't call trans-identified men what they really are and call them "transwoman". I especially get disheartened when I see black women do this because black women are some of the biggest targets from these trans-identified men who love to make the accusation that black women are like men. Like I was watching a bit of this video and I could finish it because I was getting too frustrated by the woman trying to tow the line and validate these men and the comments weren't any better. I mean I understand why they're most likely doing this but they have to realize that by playing along with these larpers is not gonna help.

Sadly sticking up for women is the quickest way for a man to lose friends and allies though.

Unfortunately you're right but the saddest thing that got me with this is that all my friends were women...

‘I’m team Terf’: Dave Chappelle under fire over pro-JK Rowling trans stance by saiditting in GenderCritical

[–]Kai_Decadence 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I think it's kinda true that black men have more of a social cache when talking this stuff. Well to an extent because as a black man myself who officially came out in support of women, I did face some backlash as all my friends abandoned me and on the video where I made my support known, I've gotten a few nasty comments. Not really rape threats, only got 2 but yet I can only imagine how much women get.

Disappointed in Vanessa Vokey by shinnygummy in GenderCritical

[–]Kai_Decadence 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah I mean I'd like to hope that maybe I'm really just misinterpreting her but it's just that the tone of her in the video and how she came across in our little chat just seems like she really does feel a certain way about men wearing feminine items and then how she thinks it's no big deal if a woman decides to wear a skirt or pants.

People claiming that clothes determine a person's sex is the problem, and she knows that.

Yeah it should be about choice I feel.

Disappointed in Vanessa Vokey by shinnygummy in GenderCritical

[–]Kai_Decadence 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I thought she meant AGP men as well but then when I was having my back and forth comment with her in the comments section, she kinda revealed a little more about her feelings on men wearing things like dresses and skirts. I'll give her the makeup argument because she was being consistent in the sense that she thinks no one, woman or man should be wearing makeup because of the ingredients used in it but the skirts and dresses thing is where she had a tad more stronger views on. She was mainly saying that men (she was specifically say "you" but I get what she was trying to infer) who wear dresses and skirts do it for attention whether positive or negative and when I explained that I thought "men's clothing" was boring and restrictive, she replied that I felt that way because men's fashion makes men blend together and not stand out from one another and so I started wearing skirts to be seen as different.

But the thing is that even if skirts were normalized for men, I'd still occasionally wear them like I do now because I just think they look nice (mostly maxi skirts) and they go well with the style I like to go for in my own personal look.

You're probably right that maybe she wasn't trying to infer that every man who wear feminine garb do it for fetish but it just kinda came off that way at the time.

Unfortunately I was born in 91 so I missed the 80s but I watch videos of what it was like and it was so cool seeing men and women breaking the gender norms and not calling themselves some made up "Gender identity" and just more or less owned it. Robert Smith, Siouxsie Sioux (when she wore pantsuits), Pete Burns, Annie Lennox, etc. It was great. Heck even Boy George came out telling people to stop worrying about pronouns, it was awesome lol.

Blaire White's photoshoot

I know haha. But it's the comical hip pads that really got me, it's just not flattering at all...

Disappointed in Vanessa Vokey by shinnygummy in GenderCritical

[–]Kai_Decadence 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

She said it in the video "Men in dresses are not our allies", it was a snippet from a livestream she did. I remember commenting on it and we had a short little back and fourth and it ended with us agreeing to disagree. It was pretty civil all things considered, I was just taken aback that she believes that but then again, I understand why because so many AGPs can be so... Uncouth and it probably did get to her, especially since she does have some more conservative views. And since men like me (the ones who dress unironically feminine with no sexual pretense) are rare to come across, it can be harder to see that not all men who present femininely are doing it for a fetish.

Her comments on Blaire White, I could sorta see where she was coming from because of the various things that Blaire does that are pornographic stereotypes of women like mostly dressing in lingerie as outfits and/or short skirts/mini dresses with high heels and always showing off his moob cleavage. The lip popping, the dead eyed/open mouth look he'd do in his thumbnails (he doesn't do it as much anymore), this photoshooot he did, how he would jiggle his moobs on camera sometimes in his videos/interviews, etc. I don't know if "AGP" is the right term for it but it's clear that Blaire acting this way may reflect on how he thinks women are. But where the AGP doesn't make sense for him is that I'm more than sure he does all those things to be seen as attractive to men and isn't getting off on it himself per say but getting off on the praise he gets from comments but especially the comments from men, that's usually how it is for HSTS.

Disappointed in Vanessa Vokey by shinnygummy in GenderCritical

[–]Kai_Decadence 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I understand why some may not want to get vaccinated but I dunno, I'm just getting tired of this because who knows when we will leave "mask world" and I really hope this really will not be our new normal for the next like 5 years, eugh... lol I just want things to go back to normal now y'know? I understand that covid was serious when it first hit and a lot of people did get affected by it (including myself, I caught it back in 2020) but I feel like we more or less have a better handle on it now then we did in 2020.

Disappointed in Vanessa Vokey by shinnygummy in GenderCritical

[–]Kai_Decadence 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah, I'm very thankful for the gender critical videos that's she made because she made so many good points and continually stood her ground even when she got dogpiled on by Samantha Lux's fans. But the anti-vax/anti-mask thing totally came from left field and I can't get behind that neither. I get that we're living in trying times right and the masks are annoying to have to wear but this is why the vaccines are being made, so we can return back to normalcy and people refusing to get vaccinated are not helping matters and will be the reason why we stay in "mask world".

But aside from this and what she said about how any man who dresses in feminine clothing are perverted fetishists (it concerned me as a feminine GNC man myself who doesn't do what I do for fetish or sexual gratification), I still support her as a GC speaker and I just treat this as someone who I think makes good content but I don't agree with her on everything kinda deal.

"You're only Gender Critical because you're jealous" by Kai_Decadence in LGBDropTheT

[–]Kai_Decadence[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah I sometimes get that but it's true, it's not been easy because I'm a magnet for closet-cases and I'm not willing to deal with that lol.

"You're only Gender Critical because you're jealous" by Kai_Decadence in LGBDropTheT

[–]Kai_Decadence[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Oh a little clarification. I'm a gay effeminate man. I usually get the "You're jealous" accusation from trans-identified males.

Also - I’m not being rude or denigrating gay men - but if you are gay you can find sex wherever, someone is always willing - it’s finding someone you want to have relations with that is the issue.

And yes this is true but where i am in live, I'm looking for something more than hookups so that's why I struggle more with a nearly dead dating life lol. i turn 30 this month and I came out at 16 and I can say that I went through my 20s never being in any relationship.

"You're only Gender Critical because you're jealous" by Kai_Decadence in LGBDropTheT

[–]Kai_Decadence[S] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Oh no no, I'm a gay man. I'm just more on the feminine side of things including having a more feminine presentation.

I've met a straight woman who was considering being trans solely because she wanted to fuck gay guys as a top.

Eugh. Yeah like you said, your friend is better off finding an effeminate straight or bisexual man because no gay man would want to do that with her.

"You're only Gender Critical because you're jealous" by Kai_Decadence in LGBDropTheT

[–]Kai_Decadence[S] 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Right lol It's just their narcissistic rage kicking in because how dare someone not validate their fantasy.

"You're only Gender Critical because you're jealous" by Kai_Decadence in LGBDropTheT

[–]Kai_Decadence[S] 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah you're right. And I think when you refuse to play along with them, they go into a narcissistic rage because they're so used to most people bending over for them so when they find people (especially women) who don't play along with their fantasy, they can't process it.

Is "Gender" really just "Masculinity", "Femininty", and "Androgyny"? by Kai_Decadence in GenderCritical

[–]Kai_Decadence[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It's funny because back when I did believe in Transgenderism, I didn't believe in Non-binary at all and when I went back and analyzed why I didn't believe in NB, this reflection made me see that even trans ideology doesn't make any sense how they define it lol.

Is "Gender" really just "Masculinity", "Femininty", and "Androgyny"? by Kai_Decadence in GenderCritical

[–]Kai_Decadence[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Ah I see. So it was essentially a bastardization of terms then? That essentially "Gender" was tied to "Gender Roles" and then eventually created "Gender Expression" as a way to break out of the rigidness of gender roles but the TRAs got hold of it and used it as a baseless term to define themselves and then NBS followed suit with this meaningless definition. Because you always hear these people say "Identify as gender" and it just doesn't make sense because they use "man" and "woman" as gender when that isn't their definition.

It's why whenever you ask these people to define "man' and "woman", they cannot do that.