Sunday Social - open chat!

reluctant_commenter · 2023-09-25T15:46:20+00:00

Yeah, I think I'm in the same boat on traditions. Maybe I can build a few of my own though. I love fog :) I forgot about the fog.

Bulk cooking for people around you sounds lovely :) is there anything in particular you like to cook? Seems like a good time for soup and the like. I might try to experiment a little as well...

reluctant_commenter · 2023-09-25T15:42:58+00:00

Thank you, NBF, I appreciate it :) I am really glad too. It's been a lot. I hope you've been doing well :)

reluctant_commenter · 2023-09-25T15:40:57+00:00

Yikes, but I'm not surprised. I haven't looked at the actual dataset yet. I can't decide whether to laugh or be pissed off. This is reflective of how little trans "rights" activists care about the health and well-being of GNC people, LGB people, and "trans" people, who they claim to want to protect...

We're doomed if this is what they refer to when talking about "settled science" that we need to trust.

Agreed, and it's worth mentioning, very, very few phenomena are agreed upon as "settled science," lol. 9/10 times when I hear this phrase I am immediately suspicious. It's a phrase designed to deter further investigation and sometimes people who are invested in a particular possibility say it even about findings that are not politically charged but that they are personally invested in.

but it's baffling that this got peer-reviewed and published

The BBC article says it hasn't been peer reviewed yet, actually. But I haven't looked st the study itself yet so I'll go ahead and do that too, hopefully later today. Thanks for looking :)

reluctant_commenter · 2023-09-25T15:34:49+00:00

I'm not sure it even makes sense for asexuals... although I would be curious to hear the perspective of asexual people here. It just seems like an "asexual and biromantic" person could be simply described as a touchy-feely person who has no preference regarding the sex of who they are physically affectionate with. Just my POV, idk.

reluctant_commenter · 2023-09-24T21:09:57+00:00

while majority saw no change....

Plurality (37%), not majority; but otherwise, yes, that all sounds about right. edit: That is to say, 71% of the participants saw their mental health either not change or get worsen, and only 29% experienced the desired outcome.... not exactly what one would hope for if the entire point of puberty blockers is supposedly to "prevent suicide" and "improve mental health."

I'm curious to see what future studies will say. Trans rights activists have been fighting tooth and nail to stop studies on the side effects of puberty blockers, HRT, and the like, so it's not surprising that the few studies on this topic are small ones. But with additional recent attention to the topic, hopefully there will be more data soon.

reluctant_commenter · 2023-09-24T21:04:41+00:00

Nitter version, to view replies without logging in: https://nitter.cz/provokatov/status/1704222990500802949?s=46&t=yb74IhyYghgF0AqWjgpGbQ

Who is this man incorrectly mansplaining the word "lesbian" to lesbian women? Does he realize he's fighting a losing battle against reality? 😆

It is so ironic that so many "transwomen" men are some of the most sexist, stereotypical men ever. I guess it's not "ironic" per se because sexism is baked into transgender ideology-- it's a feature not a bug-- but people who claiming to be progressive and acting like old-school sexists is peak irony.

reluctant_commenter · 2023-09-24T20:53:23+00:00

Coming out as gay usually involves some kind of acceptance of yourself as you are where "coming out" as trans involves a full rejection of yourself as you are in place of an imagined avatar in your mind.

A majorly important point. The experience of "coming out as trans" is so completely unrelated to "coming out as gay" that it's almost bewildering as to how the two were ever considered similar. I am inclined to assume that a lot of clueless people who never tried to understand what "coming out as gay" is like, just assumed that the two phrases mean the same thing...

Coming out as gay usually involves some kind of acceptance of yourself as you are where "coming out" as trans involves a full rejection of yourself as you are in place of an imagined avatar in your mind. It's almost a full rejection of biology and humanity itself. So many of them dive in with the very unflattering decorations on their body and I think it is like a full rejection of a human image so as to obscure their actual sex because they realize that they can't trick people into seeing them as the opposite sex. The unnatural colors are like a way to cope with an inability to force your human body to match the imagined avatar.

I agree with your theory. I would even take it a step farther: I wonder whether people the identity tourists who "identify as gay" and have a big component of their self-esteem wrapped up in a "gay/lesbian/bisexual identity"-- as opposed to a person just accepting their attraction pattern and acting in a way that feels natural to them-- are doing this whole massive makeover routine of dyeing and cutting off hair, getting many body modifications, etc. because they see "gay" as a desirable costume that will hide whoever they really are. (I'm kind of exhausted and this is a half-baked thought so feel free to point out any discrepancies, but I do see a parallel there.)

reluctant_commenter · 2023-09-24T20:32:35+00:00

Not LGB-specific, but this seems relevant to our own struggles: minority group member expresses dissent about postmodernist beliefs popular among the majority group, is punished: https://nitter.cz/ripx4nutmeg/status/1705492613099376911#m

The only non-white member on a 'Rethinking Education' panel has been barred from talking about indoctrination - because her view that white children shouldn't be taught that they're racist would have threatened the 'psychological safety' of other speakers [who are all white]

Just sounds like good old-fashioned racism. :/

The article hasn't been archived yet, unfortunately. https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/race-row-academic-barred-to-ensure-psychological-safety-of-speakers-8cvdb9lnx#:~:text=An%20academic%20who%20opposes%20critical,psychological%20safety%E2%80%9D%20of%20other%20speakers

reluctant_commenter · 2023-09-24T20:20:03+00:00

The fact that anyone can say this with any degree of seriousness. LOL.

I guess I have seen a lot of vague, substance-lacking news articles churned out about "queer people" being "valid" in their "queer identities," so they've been busy in that sense...

reluctant_commenter · 2023-09-24T20:10:45+00:00

When did this idiotic subreddit start having an automod comment under every post evangelizing about "biromantic lesbians"?

Biromantic Lesbians: LGBTQ And All

Sexists. I see there is no "biromantic gay men" article and comment. Just keep pressuring women to date men no matter what, that's fine.

Most biromantic individuals identify as asexual, meaning they can have romantic connections with people without wanting to sleep with them.

Emotional connection without sexual attraction is called a friendship, you fucking morons. It enrages me to see this blatantly homophobic and sexist drivel being spread because it pressures lesbian women to say and believe that they are bisexual, when they are not. This is exactly what happened to me when I was younger. And it is harmful for both lesbian and bisexual women. Meanwhile, equally clueless people in academia completely neglect to mention this phenomenon of lesbian women being pressured to self-identify as bisexual, and instead like to claim bullshit like "wOmEn aRe nAtUrAlLy bIsExUaL!1!" (edit: looking at you, Michael Bailey)

Anyway... on to the actual post...

So much angry denial and scapegoating in the top-voted comments, lol:

Hearing that with no other context makes me immediately assume it’s someone who votes Republican

"Liberal LGB people who want to drop the TQ must not exist." A massive lie.

Internalized homophobia

sounds like "pick me" behavior

"If you don't want to join us, then there is something wrong with you." Hmm, what a lovely-sounding, accepting community, I wonder why so many of us LGB don't want to be a part of it 😆

Sounds like he might be willing to throw the rest of us under the bus rather than stand up for our rights (his included).

LGB people have already been thrown under the bus, that's why so many of us are leaving. Or at least trying to leave, but can't yet openly disavow LGBTQ+ because of the risk of violence.

reluctant_commenter · 2023-09-24T19:47:44+00:00

archive link: https://archive.ph/lx4ln

viewable Nitter link for Twitter/X (are people actually calling it that? I've been living under a rock) thread: https://nitter.cz/judgejules75/status/1705900501525541342#m

I had no idea who these people were, but I appreciate them! Or two of them, anyway. Not sure if that's due to my pop culture ignorance or being 'Murican.

From the article:

Louise's publicist, Simon Jones, said: 'A message was sent to the team putting together the Eternal reunion stating that if it was to go ahead, neither Vernie nor Easther would perform at Pride shows or LGBTQ+ festivals.

'This was because the duo felt that the gay community was being hijacked by the trans community and they do not support this.

Good shit. It's heartening to know there may be more people aware of our community getting hijacked than we might realize.

The other one, Louise, seems invested in the virtue signaling route. Kinda wonder if her PR team requested this piece to try to protect her reputation, lol.

(I'm flairing this as positive because I think the raised awareness and article and article comments are LGB-supportive, but feel free to change it.)

reluctant_commenter · 2023-09-24T19:26:40+00:00

Just trying to get back on my feet still. Think the dust is finally starting to settle for some of my IRL problems, though, fortunately. I'm hoping I'll be able to check in here more often again; apologies in advance if I seem a little out of sorts. The past year has been a lot for me.

Happy start of fall season, all :) I have been so looking forward to it. Does anyone have any favorite fall activities or traditions? (For those who live in an area where there is a fall season, I guess.) I love taking walks outside in the rain and seeing all the beautiful leaf colors.

reluctant_commenter · 2023-09-24T18:56:21+00:00

Pre Elon taking over Twitter, you mean? I think so, yes; looks like I posted that a year ago. Unfortunately the tweet's deleted now.

reluctant_commenter · 2023-09-24T18:54:48+00:00

I don't think so, but it seems to be a surprisingly common experience among lesbian/bi women I've talked to to have had a childhood crush on her. 😆

reluctant_commenter · 2023-09-24T18:49:56+00:00

Because it was, lol: https://www.today.com/today/amp/rcna31931

reluctant_commenter · 2023-07-09T07:10:45+00:00

I am not sure but I kind of want one now, haha.

If so, I think this is a good trolling opportunity to buy up all the tops or all the bottom buns from a store and leave them with too many of the other

😆

reluctant_commenter · 2023-07-09T07:06:43+00:00

I identified pretty strictly as a lesbian for years. Was the type of lesbian that insisted on having zero attraction to men,

You fucking asshole. That's not ANY type of lesbian.

edited for clarity: What I mean is, the implication that that's a "type" of lesbian-- that there are lesbians who "insist on having 0 attraction to men," with the implication that they do actually have attraction to men-- that implication is false. Those are not lesbians.

but it was always in the back of my mind before I came out as trans that when I eventually did and started T that I would most likely be bisexual.

Why??? Why was this "always in the back of your mind"? Did you think you were bisexual and said you were lesbian anyway, or did you think your sexual orientation would change because of being on testostone...?

But, I started T and…I’m SO gay. Like I cannot stop thinking about men and being with them intimately.

I'm going to guess spicy straight at this point.

I identify as queer at the moment and I still tell people that I’m attracted to women, but I just don’t think I am anymore.

Yeah she's so special that she wants to tell people she's lesbian AND gay AND bisexual!!! 😆😆😆 What the hell, lol. This person is so inconsistent in her sense of identity it's ridiculous. Cluster B, anyone?

It seems like she is thinking about this very cerebrally; notice how she doesn't mention stuff like how her body feels, or her experiences being attracted to other people. It's all identities identities identities. All about politics, 0 about lived same sex attraction (if she has any).

The thought of having s*x with one is no longer interesting to me, and it’s kind of hard for me to accept that I’m homosexual all over again.

She runs from her heterosexuality first by pretending she is female homosexual, then by pretending she is male and homosexual. And she even used bisexuality as a stepping stone. God, this woman is hitting all the tropes. I wish I could say this must be a troll, but unfortunately I've met a few people this ridiculous in real life...

As hard as it is to accept at times, it feels SO right for me.

LOL. Being lesbian doesn't "feel right" to me. It is just a fact about me. Regardless of how I feel about it.

Oh, god, I just saw that this post had 200 upvotes... I thought even a trans sub would recognize how ridiculous this is. But then again, it's consistent with the tenets of their belief system...

reluctant_commenter · 2023-07-04T17:31:31+00:00

I tried to link the image directly, but it was throwing up a login wall on some browsers, so I figured I'd just link the archive of the image.

direct link to post:

Pride was always about the LGB community until about 10-15 years ago when the rest of the alphabet people fully hijacked it and turned it into the abomination you see today. Rational gay & lesbian people are disgusted by what it has become & refuse to take part in it

10% drop in support for LGB relationships can be tied right to the excesses of gender/queer ideology. All our decades long hard work undone by the unworthy. Time to end the forced teaming.

LGB✂️TQ+

More LGB content on Tumblr (a little sparse but some good stuff there): https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/LGB?redirect_to=%2Ftagged%2FLGB&sort=top&source=login_wall

If you're like me and hate creating logins for social media sites you view but don't use, here's a workaround: https://www.reddit.com/r/uBlockOrigin/comments/un2bej/tumblr_login_prompthow_to_bypass/

reluctant_commenter · 2023-07-04T17:24:21+00:00

direct link to post:

Pride was always about the LGB community until about 10-15 years ago when the rest of the alphabet people fully hijacked it and turned it into the abomination you see today. Rational gay & lesbian people are disgusted by what it has become & refuse to take part in it

10% drop in support for LGB relationships can be tied right to the excesses of gender/queer ideology. All our decades long hard work undone by the unworthy. Time to end the forced teaming.

LGB✂️TQ+

edit:

More LGB content on Tumblr (a little sparse but some good stuff there): https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/LGB?redirect_to=%2Ftagged%2FLGB&sort=top&source=login_wall

If you're like me and hate creating logins for social media sites you view but don't use, here's a workaround: https://www.reddit.com/r/uBlockOrigin/comments/un2bej/tumblr_login_prompthow_to_bypass/

reluctant_commenter · 2023-07-03T23:49:07+00:00

Maybe because I haven't catched up in a while, but what's with their issue with the whole "masculine is preference" again? People are allowed to have preferences. Why is it lesbians, bis, and straights can be into only masculine, feminine, GNC but gay men do it... It's the end of the world.

Agreed. Not a gay guy, but as a GNC-veering lesbian woman, I wouldn't be bothered in the slightest if a woman were not into me because feminine women are her thing. I have also heard quite a few straight women (even very liberal ones) complain about men being too feminine for them, and no one seemed to care or think it was controversial.

I do kinda wonder how much of this criticism is sourced from AAP straight "gay transmen" women who are upset that gay guys won't date them.

reluctant_commenter · 2023-07-03T23:39:54+00:00

Hahahahaha sure. I mean, to be fair, LGB Drop the T is certainly "not them" because r/LGBT represents trans people, not LGB people. It's a group that's all about the T, all the time.

Just by making LGB-centered spaces, LGB people reveal the lie of "LGBT"-- because the truth is that the only thing keeping the letters of that acronym together is coercion. LGB people get bullied and threatened and abused when we try to walk away and make organizations and events for ourselves that actually meet OUR needs. That's the only reason why there aren't more LGB groups. And there are way fewer of us than there are trans-identified people, which makes it even easier for them to shout over us. But more and more LGB-friendly groups are popping up. :) r/LGBT can't deny reality forever.

reluctant_commenter · 2023-07-03T23:08:35+00:00

Gotcha, that all makes sense, thanks for explaining. I relate to a ton of what you wrote. Particularly this:

I'm in that awkward position where a lot of my politics put me in circles with fairly right-wing people, yet I'm open about being part of the LGB community. I get a lot of 'slippery slope' bullshit, but I try my hardest to get these bumpkin edgelords to understand the difference in trans-groomers and the normal 'gays' who just want to live their lives well away from everyone's children.

It makes me sad to see the kinds of connotations some people have with LGB now because of the TQ+. But I figure the best thing I can do to combat those mental associations is to just be myself and show through my actions that it's entirely possible to be sane and confident in yourself and L/G/B without having to plaster rainbow decorations and posts all over social media.

Hope you're able to find some thoughtful people who understand that LGB != TQ.

reluctant_commenter · 2023-07-03T22:58:06+00:00

Yeah, that's true, there's good stuff on Youtube too. Funny, I've found that I've grown to have a much more positive connotation of Youtube and Twitter for these reasons :) and a worse connotation of Reddit...

reluctant_commenter · 2023-07-03T22:55:56+00:00

Yup, totally. There are definitely other groups who benefit from transgender ideology, too.

I just tend to the think of the money-making angle because it strikes me as perhaps the most difficult to root out. As long as there is financial incentive for companies and individuals to support the ideology, at least some will. If there were only pedos/fetishists benefitting from the ideology, I almost doubt whether the ideology would have ever spread so wide and become so popular. Sexist, aggressive autogynephiles are headline-grabbing, and reasonably so, but it's those doctors and therapists pushing puberty blockers and "why don't you just consider it?" on everyday kids and parents that I think may have a far stronger effect of convincing people to buy into transgender ideology. I may be biased, though, because that was how I got introduced to it... and like I said, it almost worked on me.

reluctant_commenter · 2023-07-02T08:51:49+00:00

Good stuff. Yeah, I wouldn't expect 100% positivity at this point, I think a lot of hardcore TRAs use their ideology as an excuse to be overtly homophobic, so naturally that's going to come out more often as these issues come to a head. But even honest acknowledgment of us is a good start, and I'm glad when I see the positivity :)

reluctant_commenter · 2023-07-02T08:48:58+00:00

I legitimately think they don't know. They don't question the fact that they are in an echo chamber. They don't notice.

I graduated from college relatively recently and my classes did not teach critical thinking. I was lucky to have had a thorough education in critical thinking skills when I was much younger. I have often wondered how many other Gen Zers never had that opportunity. I know I would be way worse off if I hadn't; it was one of the only things that saved me when I was pressured to transition. That, and the curiosity to Google more when I was confused by transgender doctrine.

reluctant_commenter · 2023-07-02T08:41:47+00:00

edit: Also, I'm inclined to agree...

Is anyone, anywhere, benefiting from this?

This is possibly tangential to your main points (which I agree with), but just to clarify: are you asking if anyone anywhere is benefitting from the transgender trend? The obvious answer that comes to my mind is pharmaceutical companies. It is lucrative to sell puberty blockers to teens and adults because

in transgender ideology, you're supposed to stay on these drugs indefinitely, so that's essentially a guaranteed customer base for years
transgender ideology suggests that if you are trans and you don't transition, you are at increased risk of suicide (I almost fell for this fearmongering tactic, myself, before I went and read more about transgenderism and stumbled upon r/lgbdropthet), which pressures anyone who falls for the trend to actually start the drugs
puberty blockers and hormones cause multiple harmful effects, which require further ongoing medical treatment, again for years of the patient's life, which again guarantees money going into the medical system

reluctant_commenter · 2023-07-02T08:32:44+00:00

He even offered to provide the gay couple with materials and instructions on how to write what they wished on their cake. Why don't stupid activists concentrate on things that really matter?

Wow, I didn't know that detail.

reluctant_commenter · 2023-07-02T08:30:07+00:00

That is sad to hear, though I can't say I am shocked. I have heard similar things about Poland before. LGB are the battering ram and the scapegoat, both, in transgender ideology.

reluctant_commenter · 2023-07-02T08:28:30+00:00

That's a good one. I've known a number of people who have had the experience of that meme, too.

Just curious, would you actually describe yourself as a right-wing fascist? Or are you just using the term sarcastically as a far-left TRA would, calling everyone who even slightly disagrees with them far-right? (Sorry if the sarcasm sailed over my head, it's late over here and I'm a little tired.)

reluctant_commenter · 2023-07-01T16:50:52+00:00

That's a fair concern, especially in the US. It seems to me like other countries are doing a better job of differentiating the LGB from the TQ+, but over here, it seems like their forced teaming has worked quite well :/

reluctant_commenter · 2023-07-01T16:43:16+00:00

edit: Here's a list of some LGB-supportive news and media outlets! I need to go update this, I bet there are more now :) Can't believe I forgot about Arty Morty on Youtube.

A lot of people on this sub like Mr. Menno (I don't keep up with his stuff, but I like what I have seen), who is gay.

I am a fan of Schrodinger's Transcat, an apparently AGP (and possibly bisexual? suggested in at least one of his videos) guy who has some amazing videos summarizing how AGP men have harmed LGB people and women, like this one. He has a pretty unique video format, using lots of pop cultural references to illustrate his points, which I find fascinating in and of itself (I didn't realize there were so many cultural references to transgenderism!).

Also, LGB Alliance has a Youtube channel that they post stuff on.

I think I made a giant list ages ago with LGB-friendly media outlets, I'll try to find that.

reluctant_commenter · 2023-07-01T16:26:34+00:00

Interesting, I don't think I heard about that! That's awesome!

Hell, if Pride did go focus on that then at least it'd be focused on something useful and real, instead of trying to convince everyone that men are women and women are men...

reluctant_commenter · 2023-07-01T09:23:20+00:00

archive link: https://archive.is/qA9DC

Just gotta make everything about being transgender, don't they?

"cis gays"

edit: Bonus comment...

The LGB crowd are a bunch of “pick me’s” who think that if they help the facists that be that they’ll be safe and once that “ Transgenderism” is dealt with then they get their rights back.

"If you dare to make groups focused on the rights of same sex attracted people, then that means you're sucking up to fascists!1!1!1!" Get real.

reluctant_commenter · 2023-07-01T08:54:32+00:00

Hey, welcome! Just curious, what Youtube channel? I'm always looking for more LGB-positive social media channels :)

I am very appreciative that these kinds of spaces are beginning to exist more and more. Thank you for being here, and one of the definitions of love is sharing each others' company without the need to say anything, so no pressure!

That is very thoughtfully said :) and I am very appreciative of this place, too. I joined this group on Saidit just after it was banned from Reddit, and participating here has really helped me feel like I am part of a community of other LGB people. I'm in Gen Z, and this place is my only experience being in an LGB-focused space, which feels pretty amazing (in contrast to the many LGBTQ+ spaces I've been in).

reluctant_commenter · 2023-07-01T08:43:08+00:00

why the climate crisis is the biggest thread to LGBT+ rights, due to social collapse

Well, I mean, if we're all dead then yeah, "LGBT+" rights don't matter too much, lol.

But you could make the same argument about so many other threats to humanity. Maybe Pride organizations are failing us by not focusing on the threat of impending meteors. Where are all your telescopes, you bigots?

reluctant_commenter · 2023-07-01T08:39:27+00:00

but it should be obvious at this point that ALL of this ideological leftist bullshit is thinly veiled authoritarianism wrapped in a flimsy, transparent package of identity politics

Yes, it should be obvious. But it's tough to get any sort of discussion about this going when people act like authoritarianism is only a right-wing phenomenon. So many people I know on the left believe that. "But what about Mao?" "Oh that doesn't count, that's just one example." But there are way more examples... e.g. there have been multiple authoritarian regimes in South American countries over the last century-- politically right and left ones.

There's a meme where someone is standing in one place between two other people, and one of the other two people moves way out to an extreme end, such that the person in the middle is suddenly "right wing" even though their views didn't change at all, comparatively speaking. I relate to that a lot even though most of my actual views are very liberal...

reluctant_commenter · 2023-07-01T08:31:02+00:00

Thank you for sharing. Chilling to watch; the editing is really good, IMO. I watched only half before it got too intense for me (the hardcore age regression/baby fetish porn part).

reluctant_commenter · 2023-07-01T08:16:11+00:00

I have never watched The L Word. One other lesbian I know IRL has given me a lot of shit for not watching it. But that just makes me want to watch it even less, lol.

I guess I don't really have a good reason for not watching it, other than... I was just never curious? I don't watch that many TV shows in general, though. I do seek out video games that have LGB representation (shoutout Life is Strange!).

I vaguely recall seeing some ads for the new L word series and I am definitely not interested in watching that... IIRC, it had at least one "transbian" character, and other characters with meaningless gender identity labels. What do those have to do with the experience of being a same-sex-attracted woman...? Knowing myself, I would probably be too pissed off if I watched it to enjoy it, so I try to veer towards more positive stuff, haha.

reluctant_commenter · 2023-07-01T08:06:29+00:00

Why hello there, stranger :)

reluctant_commenter · 2023-06-25T23:40:17+00:00

Thanks, NBF! :) Hope you've been well!

reluctant_commenter · 2023-06-25T16:55:21+00:00

But for many others, the family is a place of private horror, coercion, and personal domination.

Oh, wow, are they actually going to support abuse survivors and talk about toxic behaviors??? They're finally doing something that could support many LGB people (and non-LGB people)!

From early Marxists to Black and queer insurrectionists to today’s mass protest movements, O’Brien finds revolutionaries seeking better ways of loving, caring, and living. Family Abolition takes us through the past and present of family politics into a speculative future of the commune, imagining how care could be organized in a free society.

...Nope. Never mind.

reluctant_commenter · 2023-06-25T16:45:39+00:00

Yeah, just say "white" in front of "gay" and then you can insult gay people all you want. It's amazing and frustrating to me how many self-declared "tolerant, progressive" liberals I know who do this :/ I heard that kind of negativity about gay people a fair bit in college.

And then the media claims that Gen Z and millennials are so tolerant... well, they're going to seem that way when your surveys for measuring "tolerance" aren't designed to pick up on certain forms of intolerance! (Disclaimer, I'm in Gen Z; some people make a choice to act like this, but they don't have to...)

His only evidence seems to be that gays didn't center him enough.

Yeah, exactly. Honestly, I've gotten to the point where I've become extremely doubtful about almost any media article unless it contains hard numbers and a good source to support them. So many useless spin stories out there like this one... it's so much easier for writers to wax poetic about a handful of attention-grabbing details and anecdotes without regard to how generally representative and substantive those details and anecdotes actually are.

reluctant_commenter · 2023-06-25T16:32:22+00:00

It's just disgusting how full of misinformation this piece is. I don't think I have the energy to pick it all apart, but had to comment on this...

No matter how many anti-trans bills Arkansas adopts, the lawmakers can’t stop her from enjoying the tranquility of life inside Tilifi and sharing that with others.

What a baseless generalization. The article doesn't report Miss Major's age, but does he identify as a five-year-old? Because those "anti-trans bills" are about protecting minors from being sterilized. They're not a threat to transgender adults and they're not about him, and you've got to lack either information or integrity in order to claim that they do. This article is just grasping at straws to try to put this guy on a pedestal and portray him as a victim.

reluctant_commenter · 2023-06-25T16:18:42+00:00

Good morning :) how's everybody doing?

reluctant_commenter · 2023-06-25T16:18:02+00:00

Thanks, Mark!! :)

reluctant_commenter · 2023-06-25T16:17:47+00:00

reluctant_commenter · 2023-06-25T16:17:41+00:00

Thank you, YSTT <3 :)

reluctant_commenter · 2023-03-13T06:01:34+00:00

Just checking in here to say hi... still on my way up and out of everything I'm in, but hoping I can get back into the swing of things soon, and catch up properly. :) Seems like there's been a lot of positive progress I've missed.

Hope you're all doing well. <3

reluctant_commenter · 2022-10-10T01:23:23+00:00

Just dropping a note to say I'm alive... going through a lot IRL right now. Not sure when I will be able to check here. I miss you guys, hope you're all doing well <3

reluctant_commenter · 2022-10-10T01:23:01+00:00

Top tier. This is actually awesome. Might actually go try and buy one... and proudly hang it in my closet, where it won't get me in trouble. Thanks for sharing :)

reluctant_commenter · 2022-09-17T19:12:07+00:00

Fantastic article. Thank you so much for sharing. Will definitely be linking this to a few people.

So: at what point was there consensus that there was no such thing as same-sex attraction, and how did it come to be that all terms such as homosexuality, bisexuality, gay or lesbian were rewritten to accommodate members of the opposite sex?

Hit the nail on the head.

Essentially, from this point on, same-sex attracted people would be unable to assert their own existence or have a word in language for themselves without building up a significant body of academic work in justification.

Which is absolutely crazy.

And humanities academic areas are incredibly political... it would take a long time for regular LGB people to establish any sort of meaningful foothold there defending the facts of our existence.

What a crazy world.

edit: Only one qualm with this article:

When you cannot name it, you cannot measure it, and it ceases to exist.

Yes to the first two points, no to the third. LGB people will exist regardless-- just, shunned and isolated and oppressed, even if we are not named. We will only seem not to exist to the general population.

reluctant_commenter · 2022-09-17T18:48:34+00:00

I wonder if this is why a lot of FTMs end up identifying as "gay men".

Damn... that's actually a really good point.

That's so strange.

reluctant_commenter · 2022-09-17T18:36:20+00:00

"We're not forcing you to have sex with us! You're just a horrible person and we'll try to get you kicked out of your job, if you don't want to date someone of the opposite sex."

reluctant_commenter · 2022-09-17T18:32:38+00:00

Gotcha, thanks. I'm well aware of that behavior, just didn't know it had that name.

reluctant_commenter · 2022-09-17T18:31:28+00:00

But it also demonstrates that someone willingly entering into a relationship on such terms has their own mental health issues going on that either involves self-abandonment or attraction to the trans-identifying person’s mental vulnerability, possibly with the intent of exploiting it. Neither is healthy obviously, much less worthy of celebration.

Yes, absolutely.

I think the only relationships with a trans person that can avoid this are those that don’t involve people denying the basic facts of their situation, i.e. no pretending that the trans person is literally a member of the opposite sex and no pretending the partner is not specifically attracted to the mixed sex characteristics or whatever the particular situation may be.

Hmm... see, I get what you mean logically, but even then, the very act of using the wrong sexed pronouns (e.g. "she" for a transwoman, even if it is a transwoman who is fully aware that he is male) is an act of reality denial. Either that or the trans person is still asking their partner to use a different definition of "she" and "he" than the rest of the population is using. Either way it requires the partner to make a sacrifice about naming reality for what it is. I may be more on the extreme end of people in this sub in this regard because I view incorrect pronoun usage in this way, but I think that would still result in some dissociation, albeit perhaps to a lesser extent than if the trans person were fully demanding that the partner always view them as the sex that they aren't.

(Not saying you are necessarily in disagreement with that! But sometimes I see people miss that point.)

I guess to summarize it more simply: it seems to me that using pronouns in the way that all trans people-- from Blaire White to the most obviously male AGP to "nonbinary" teens-- necessarily requires obfuscation of reality. On a daily and conversational basis, in a way that even a religion like Christianity does not require people to lie. It is a rather remarkable ask.

Anyway, just thinking out loud. I appreciated the points you made.

reluctant_commenter · 2022-09-17T18:22:17+00:00

It was a sideplot of the episode, not the criminal thing.

Yeah that's incredibly fucked up. How casual it is. The grooming. "I'm who has your best interests at heart! Don't tell your parents! Let's keep it a secret. Here's some drugs..."

reluctant_commenter · 2022-09-17T04:33:08+00:00

^ This right here. I had the mental image of a bunch of guys suddenly popping up from behind furniture at an all-women's slumber party. Lol.

reluctant_commenter · 2022-09-17T04:31:41+00:00

LOL @ your title.

The trans and lesbian communities have always been intertwined!

Hahahahahahahaha. Ha. Ha. No.

As if we would not notice a bunch of men suddenly springing up in our communities. Lol.

reluctant_commenter · 2022-09-17T04:29:49+00:00

So freaking glad to see it :) :) :) damn, I have really been behind!

Just another reminder that our cause is way more popular than the size of our little community here might show. :) I'm glad that pro-LGB talk is not being censored completely on Twitter the way that it has been on many other sites.

reluctant_commenter · 2022-09-17T04:27:27+00:00

archive / source

reluctant_commenter · 2022-09-17T04:21:03+00:00

It is surprisingly sane. With the one caveat that OP claims to have literally changed sex through medical transition and to be a literal woman, which means they are still trying to uphold some unhealthy cognitive dissonance.

My first thought, lol.

It’s just not healthy to have this idea that anyone who dates you won’t be presented with constant indicators that dating you is not an interchangeable experience socially, functionally, and sensorily to dating your target sex. Of course, extenuating factors may contribute to a partner wanting to believe you are a member of your target sex. For example, a male-attracted woman with male-related trauma wanting a way to date a man without dating a man. A male-attracted man with internalized homophobia fearing social consequences for dating a member of the same sex. The list of possibilities is endless. But mutual cognitive dissonance is not healthy and does not make for a stable, loving relationship. It’s a ticking time bomb.

This is a really succinct and thoughtful way to describe these types of relationships-- the ones of mutual pretending. I would only add: Being in denial of one's own five senses, repeatedly, over long periods of time (e.g., disbelieving one's eyes when presented with a male body frame and adam's apple...) has got to spill over into other areas of one's life. I would even say it could be described as a form of dissociation: the refusal to pay attention to the sensory information that your body is giving you in the here and now. As you said, anything but healthy... not only in the sense of mental health and emotional relationships, I think, but physical health, too. There is an absolute paucity of research attention being paid to the health of people who deny reality on a moment-to-moment basis... TRAs like to talk about how trans people are "a vulnerable minority" but god damn, this is a way in which they actually ARE vulnerable-- bleeding from self-inflicted wounds, unfortunately.

Imagine asking your partner to... lie about basic facts about who you are... constantly. Talk about gaslighting.

reluctant_commenter · 2022-09-17T03:59:53+00:00

Homophobia from the outside's got to play a part. "You act like I think a woman should, therefore you can't be a 'real man'..."

Definitely would say the counterpart pressure is in play for lesbian women who are on the GNC end...

reluctant_commenter · 2022-09-17T03:58:30+00:00

Number 9!

reluctant_commenter · 2022-09-17T03:55:46+00:00

Of course the line 'Don't you want her to be her true self?'

I read this line and thought immediately of #BossBabes. Clearly I've been spending too much time browsing r/antimlm, hahaha. Why do all cults sound the same....

Real nice erasure of tomboy girls and reinforcing gender stereotypes here. And yeah, let's pretend it is AWESOME to let teenagers secretly get HRT and shit! No biggie, safe as fuck! I am mad at the internet now. I just wanted to watch a silly detective show with a dog, dudes. Not the goddamn normalisation of transing teenagers.

Sorry that your beloved show got all filled up with TRA horseshit! I relate to this sentiment... it's like the indoctrination is everywhere these days. Ugh.

reluctant_commenter · 2022-09-17T03:39:36+00:00

I'm so sorry. :( I'd never heard of that youtuber before but that's incredibly messed up. Just another example of the way that TRA homophobia affects and harms us.

I would also be uncomfortable leaving up romantic and somewhat sensual videos if I knew it was mostly males watching it.

Same.

And of course the TIMs couldn't just leave it at that. Of course they have to threaten and harass her over the videos within the hour of them being deleted. Ugh. Fuck TIMs.

Agreed.

reluctant_commenter · 2022-09-17T03:35:01+00:00

KF may fall (this sounds so incredibly stupid to begin with)

Lol. Your wording made me laugh, but as stupid as that phrase may sound, the pattern of sites like this getting shut down for dissenting against trans ideology is actually incredibly discerning. I think it's safe to say that many of us, most of us even, can't observe simple facts ("men can't turn into women" and vice versa) out loud for fear of losing our jobs or being harassed or socially shunned. So when even our online sanctuaries start getting censored and destroyed... it's chilling. Practically speaking, there isn't free speech on this topic.

reluctant_commenter · 2022-09-17T03:26:39+00:00

I know they're on board with the trans thing, as usual and that they'd ditch my ass so fast if they knew what I thought of all this shit. But at this point I'm used to it.

I'm tired of getting hurt and feeling like a wolf in disguise.

Sorry, I know this post is way old but just wanted to say... good god, I relate to this.

That's cool you're going to the gym more often :) hope it helps. I do a lot of walking when I'm really angry.

Hope you're doing well otherwise. This stuff is rough.

reluctant_commenter · 2022-09-17T03:22:09+00:00

Some sleeper agent users started fedposting on KF

What does this mean? (Sorry, I know this post is from ages ago, lol; catching up.)

reluctant_commenter · 2022-09-17T03:20:05+00:00

Julie Bindel has been labelled ‘homophobic’, ‘biphobic’

Obligatory: I mean, she is. Sucks that this woman is being painted as one of the primary representatives of lesbians...

That said, it's incredibly fucked up that the Get The L Out women were harassed at and kicked out of a freaking Pride parade. I'm glad that piece of hypocrisy is getting some media attention, anyway.

And why have so many gay men joined the extreme trans-activists in turning against us so viciously? The truth is that this schism in the LGBT alliance is nothing new.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, just blame it on gay men, Julie. Come on. There are unfortunately as many lesbian women (or at least, lesbian-identified women) pushing TRA crap as there are gay men. (Maybe more.)

reluctant_commenter · 2022-09-17T03:12:39+00:00

Omg :) I've been missing out on this :')

reluctant_commenter · 2022-09-17T03:11:20+00:00

Went and double checked that the post had archived for the record. Yeezus. Men on that subreddit have their masks fully off most of the time now, it seems like.

reluctant_commenter · 2022-08-31T01:02:37+00:00

I don't recall having any sexual feelings as a child, but I remember being smitten with certain female characters in shows or other media in a way that I just wasn't with boys. I would just watch those shows and play those video games over and over without knowing why, lol. All I knew was that I liked to look at them (certain girls/women). edit: I'm trying to put words to this... but it was a very un-thinking experience. They made me happy. It was simple.

There were certain male characters I idolized but it felt different; I want to be them, and wished I could get the same kind of adoring attention from girls that they seemed to get.

(Those may seem like obvious signs of same-sex attraction in retrospect, lol, but my (then-nonsexual) same-sex attraction was absolutely not obvious to me when I was a child.)

reluctant_commenter · 2022-08-30T03:16:48+00:00

LOL. I encourage thee to repost on s/lgbmemes.

reluctant_commenter · 2022-08-30T02:10:54+00:00

is archived

reluctant_commenter · 2022-08-30T02:04:25+00:00

source / archive

reluctant_commenter · 2022-08-30T02:00:24+00:00

source / archive

reluctant_commenter · 2022-08-30T01:45:36+00:00

I really suspect a lot of those AGPs must fetishize the idea of impregnating lesbians. That's probably why they get so triggered when lesbians make jokes like this; it shatters their delusional fantasies of both being a woman AND making babies with lesbians.

Ahhh.... I didn't even think of that. I guess that's probably a porn subcategory. Shudders

I know someone linked that horrible porn subreddit a while back about raping lesbians or something similar... these people are absolutely disgusting. They don't see us as humans.

reluctant_commenter · 2022-08-30T01:41:09+00:00

The last paragraph about leaving the old worldview behind and rebuilding from the ground up sounds exactly like how I felt when I left my religion. And I don't think that's a coincidence.

I feel that way about having left Catholicism, too. (Sorry to hear you had to go through that experience, too; I still feel like I haven't fully processed mine.)

It's always crazy to me how many parallels there are between religious groups and trans ideology. The only thing missing is an explicit belief in a god. TRAs basically believe in souls, they just call them "gender identities."

Also the requirement of friends and family to fully approve of the transition or they lose all contact with the kid is very culty.

Yes. My first thought.

reluctant_commenter · 2022-08-29T05:24:15+00:00

archive from today

(For reference, if anyone is reading this post in the future: within the last 1-2 weeks there was a surge of "LGB" and "LGB drop the T" mentions on Twitter, inspired by a home improvement store called Wickes. Posts about it: post 1 / post 2 / also, people announced they're suing the just-recently-closed Tavistock child-transing clinic, that same week)

reluctant_commenter · 2022-08-29T05:21:36+00:00

Probably doesn't merit its own post, but I appreciate this user on r/teenagers, lol.

reluctant_commenter · 2022-08-29T05:10:46+00:00

Never heard of these people before and they don't have a Wikipedia page, so whatever.

archive link

TRAs with victim complexes cheer about it (archive)

reluctant_commenter · 2022-08-29T04:55:03+00:00

I second all of those sentiments :)

reluctant_commenter · 2022-08-29T04:13:52+00:00

Thank you!! :)

edit: love the sanity in the comments, omg.

As a gay man I'm Fed up of being lumped in with queer, trans, etc. I recently got banned from my LGBT group at work as I said I agreed with the ban on trans swimmers from women's division.

Removing lesbians from a gay pride March!? Just when you thought the world couldn't get crazier!

This is becoming a bit Monty Pythonish now

So the Trans movement have really turned into the super bullies of the 21st century.

I don't know a lot about this but I thought that Pride was about gay and lesbian people parading.

reluctant_commenter · 2022-08-29T04:08:28+00:00

LOL. You know, I got a little bit of that vibe from this article. I hate to be cynical but it just seemed so focused on the parent's experiences of the events she put her child through and not on what the child's perspective must have been.

reluctant_commenter · 2022-08-28T21:06:41+00:00

source / archive

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