ColonizationTrans-identified woman publishes a book about gay dating.

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[–]RedEyedWarriorGay | Male | 🇮🇪 Irish 🇮🇪 | Antineoliberal | Cocks are Compulsory 20 insightful - 10 fun20 insightful - 9 fun21 insightful - 10 fun -  (0 children)

Some people write yaoi fan fiction. This woman lives yaoi fan fiction.

[–]DrMantisToboggan 18 insightful - 8 fun18 insightful - 7 fun19 insightful - 8 fun -  (9 children)

Alternately titled: Delusions Of A Straight Woman

[–]Rage-Xion[S] 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (8 children)

According to the article, prior transition, she was in a lesbian relationship si I don't know if she's straight.

[–]Horror-SwordfishI don't get how flairs work 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (7 children)

That's what struck me as strange - from lesbian woman to gay man? What a weird move.

[–]Athelhilda4Questioning 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Bisexual

[–]Hannibalboy93 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

And she married a bisexual too, I checked

[–]reluctant_commenter 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

^ Basically what I just commented.

[–]reluctant_commenter 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

I've posted a comment about this couple times-- here's one theory I have for why there's this "lesbian woman to gay man" mini-trend:

  1. woman is unaware of, denies, or downplays her interest in men/dick (i.e., closet bisexual who thinks she is lesbian)

  2. woman starts on testosterone

  3. testosterone heightens sexual arousal

  4. woman is suddenly more aware of her sexual arousal and what she actually wants-- which is dick

  5. "testosterone made me want dick!" when the picture is more complicated than that.

Also a possibility, though less likely IMO:

confused lesbians getting some wires crossed. (For example, I have felt pressured to 1. be straight / pretend I am a straight man, and 2. be attracted to males. Had I ended up transitioning, I might have tried to compensate for both these cognitive distortions and and ended up claiming I was a "gay trans man.")

Third possibility: She is only dating other "gay transmen." That is, she is still dating women.

[–]HelloMomo 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I just read Louise Perry's The Case Against The Sexual Revolution which is about, more than anything, the asymmetry between men and women in heterosexuality. Particularly, two major things are: the desire for causal sex, and the threshold for sexual disgust. Men are consistently and cross-culturally higher in desire for causal sex, and lower in the threshold for sexual disgust. (Although arousal lowers the threshold for sexual disgust in everyone. Like, someone else getting their spit on you is normally gross. But when people are turned on, this can be overlooked.)

I'm not sure what features of physiology cause this, but if hormone levels are a central factor... then I could see how a bisexual woman with her natural hormones might find it easier to find commandability with another woman, and then if she goes on T an her sex drive changes, then she might find men more sexually compatible to her. I think this is more or less what detransitioner and bi woman Sinead Watson describes happening to her: T cranked up her sex drive and she was super horny all the time, and it awakened her dormant bisexuality. Although she doesn't say she's only into men now: she says she's bi. Which sounds like a very normal-person take on it, and adds to my idea that people who don't are saying so because they have a yaoi fetish or something.

[–]Lizzythelezzo 5 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

I met a FTM who said he was asexual and aromantic, but if he ever dated someone it would only be an exact clone of himself. I thought that was interesting as a lot of FTM and MTF people seem to experience auto-eroticism (i.e. attraction to themselves). I wonder if this is why a lot of FTMs end up identifying as "gay men".

[–]reluctant_commenter 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I wonder if this is why a lot of FTMs end up identifying as "gay men".

Damn... that's actually a really good point.

That's so strange.

[–]JulienMayfair 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (6 children)

Yeah . . . explain to me just how a woman in a lesbian relationship for five years finds herself single and suddenly becomes a gay man -- without some kind of major underlying personality disorder.

[–]Q-Continuum-kin 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

This seems to be a weirdly common theme lately.

I know that lots of gay men either don't come out or even fully realize they are gay until later in life but this is due to societal and internal homophobia. This is a fear of letting the world know that you have same sex attraction.

In these cases the "hurdle" of jumping into the same sex relationship is breached already and it doesn't particularly make sense to change your mind.

The option which makes the most sense is they are just bisexual and using the incorrect label as they change preference over time.

The other option is that they are so neck deep in their own identity that they can't even make sense of their own sexuality. It's hard for us to imagine but if you picture someone with autism and deep in the cluster-B mentality, then they might barely recognize what a man or woman is in the first place beyond the superficial stereotypes. That might make it easier to swap. Then because they are so self obsessed with their "identity" they have decided they are "LGBT" so the original lesbian relationship could have just been a way to reinforce their own identity rather than an actual sexual attraction. Now believing "he is a man" the primary motivation is to continue having a "gay" relationship.

.

Most people see "I am attracted to X"

I am suggesting that they see "my identity is X therefore I need Y to reinforce and make my identity correct."

[–]reluctant_commenter 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Just saw your comment-- I agree with you. I would bet money that both are correct for at least some proportion of cases. Some of these "lesbians" are the first option and some are the second.

I am suggesting that they see "my identity is X therefore I need Y to reinforce and make my identity correct."

Yes exactly. In fact, I think this thought is probably way more prevalent in TQ+ circles than we regularly acknowledge! "I must be qeer, *therefore I must be gay/trans/[insert]."

[–]hellonumpty 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Tommy Dorfman is another one, except he went from gay man married to a man to a trans lesbian engaged to a woman. I can't imagine a flip like that without a personality disorder tbh.

[–]Rage-Xion[S] 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Well Gigi Gorgeous went from a gay boy to a straight transwoman to "lesbian" and then as pansexual when his gf transitionned. Totally not a social contagion.

[–]reluctant_commenter 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I agree with Q-Continuum-kin. I left a longer comment on the other comment thread about this before I saw his.

[–]Lizzythelezzo 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I knew a MTF who kept claiming to be a "straight woman" (i.e. only dates men) but always ended up dating women or FTMs. The one time this person tried to date men, she couldn't even bring herself to kiss them. It was oddly delusional as most MTFs just claim to be "transbians". This MTF also later told me she had BPD and narcissistic traits which fits the typical trans persona.

[–]Rage-Xion[S] 10 insightful - 2 fun10 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Highlights " How could he be a gay man, when he was still learning what it was to be a man?"

[–]MoutonelectriqueBland Straight ♀ 9 insightful - 2 fun9 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

What an annoying smug face.

[–]wafflegaffWoman. SuperBi. 7 insightful - 3 fun7 insightful - 2 fun8 insightful - 3 fun -  (1 child)

I'd go so far as to call that a diagnostic face.

[–]reluctant_commenter 6 insightful - 2 fun6 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Hahahaha what a phrase. I might steal that, lol.

[–]automoderatorHuman-Exclusionary Radical Overlord[M] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

RIP Snappy, I AM THE NEW GOD!

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