Exposing The Reality of Transgender Science & Trans Activism | Debra Soh | ACADEMIA | Rubin Report by notdelusional in LGBDropTheT
[–]Astrid2448 1 insightful - 3 fun1 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 3 fun - 11 months ago* (0 children)
I talked about this in another post, but as someone who has a lot of experience in healthcare and the sciences (entire family is pretty much involved in it, so I grew up around it as well)... this person seems to have a habit of misrepresenting studies. Much of what they’re saying everybody agrees with them on are actually widely debated and actually have a lot of opposition. For example, most psychologists don’t even endorse IQ as a measurement of intelligence (there’s a lot of debate over whether it’s even accurate) and it’s generally agreed that even if it were one, it is only a measure of one form of intelligence. There are quite a few theories on intelligence and none of them have full backing. These types of issues are present with literally every point they just raised. I’m not sure if they’re just unintentionally being biased or if they’re misrepresenting things. Not to mention that apparently the humanities are for stupid people, but their expertise is in the soft sciences that are adjacent to the humanities. My peers in the hard sciences used to take courses in psychology and anthropology to boost their GPA.
I’m really, really tired of science being weaponized by people in these kinds of debates.
Being associated with radical feminism is dragging this movement down. by Astrid2448 in LGBDropTheT
[–]Astrid2448[S] 1 insightful - 3 fun1 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 3 fun - 11 months ago (0 children)
I haven’t really met any who do either. But I think it’s more like radfems are gender critical but not all gender critical people are radfems? But in my experience most of the time the two are the same.
[–]Astrid2448[S] 1 insightful - 4 fun1 insightful - 3 fun2 insightful - 3 fun2 insightful - 4 fun - 11 months ago (0 children)
Yes you can. A social justice warrior is not the same as someone who just believes in social justice. Check out urban dictionary.
[–]Astrid2448[S] 2 insightful - 3 fun2 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 3 fun - 11 months ago* (0 children)
I’m also not white before someone comes at me as well lol. Though I get sick of having to use this to be able to talk.
Obviously those are the wrong things to do. It’s horseshoe theory in action tbh. That’s a big problem for me when it comes to weaponizing science in these political debates, because no one is stating “sexed brains” plainly, they usually follow it with a worldview that promotes sexism based on misinterpretations or exaggerations of the data to suit their narrative. Just as it would be with race.
The truth is that there are differences. From a purely scientific standpoint, I feel comfortable saying that odds are there are differences in averages between pipulations (same as there are with things like height based on race) because I can separate average data from individual reality. However, the issue like you said is that many people can’t. And I can understand why, because if you’re not regularly in these circles, when you hear data about this you’re going to jump to conclusions or try to relate it to your own life. In that way it feeds bigotry, as frankly has already been seen in this thread with the implication that women aren’t in certain fields, etc. because their brain limits them from it. It Is hard for people to be objective given data without the background to interpret it properly.
Hell, even many people who should know better are plagued by this. In particular, for quite a while the hard sciences have been harassed by psychology and sociology researchers who publish papers reinterpreting biology in whatever image they’d like. Then the woke people cite those articles as evidence when I’d almost call them opinion pieces.
Hence why I would like to see people stop pulling the “BUT SCIENCE AGREES WITH ME!” to try to win political debates in these areas.
[–]Astrid2448[S] 1 insightful - 3 fun1 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 3 fun - 11 months ago* (0 children)
You would think so but this isn’t my experience with radfems or with TRAs. But again, that’s because they’re the far left. I’m sure a normal liberal, centrist or democrat would agree.
"tRaNs MeN aRe MeN" preacher visits r/askgaybros; r/askgaybros resists by lazy-summer-god in LGBDropTheT
[–]Astrid2448 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun - 11 months ago (0 children)
Did the trans women ever try to be this considerate to lesbians?
[–]Astrid2448[S] 5 insightful - 4 fun5 insightful - 3 fun6 insightful - 3 fun6 insightful - 4 fun - 11 months ago* (0 children)
As the OP, yes this is what I was getting at.
Radfems are wrong that there is absolutely no difference. But you are also taking it too far in a way that also shows a lack of understanding. Both the idea that there are clear male and female brains and the idea that they are both totally moldeable with no noticeable differences are false. It’s in between: there are some trends that are common to both and upbringing is a factor. Things like hormones are also influential. Discrimination does exist and changes things as well - they aren’t just making up the idea that women have been treated like property throughout most of history, and that many sexist ideas are alive today. The brain is plastic but it isn’t play-doh, essentially. The variation is large and it is not a defining sex characteristic.
You are exaggerating what those researchers are saying, if unintentionally.
Frankly as someone who grew up surrounded by healthcare, I’m really sick of watching science be weaponized by both sides. Not limited to the trans debate
[–]Astrid2448[S] 2 insightful - 4 fun2 insightful - 3 fun3 insightful - 3 fun3 insightful - 4 fun - 11 months ago (0 children)
I agree with a lot of what you’re saying, but I do think there’s a big difference between what radfems were doing and what most gay people were doing. The vast majority of gay people are not obnoxious twitter activists. Many of us didn’t believe it because we weren’t involved in the community outside of the bare minimum and dating. Lesbians especially tend to partner off and vanish. Gay men come for the parties. Half the reason we were taken over so easily is because after gay marriage was legalized, most gay people felt safer and went on with their lives.
Radfems on the other hand, have been the twitter activists from the start. They act the same because again this is a war within the woke left which has essentially split. A few years ago radfems and TRAs would’ve been in the same circles. It’s a big part of why they hate each other so much - they feel betrayed by each other and feel like they need to stop the other group from lobbying for the changes they want. And they both think they’re doing it for the good of humanity.
Gender critical is what radfems call themselves a lot of the time. But I think the distinction is that not all gender critical people are radical feminists. A person who doesn’t believe in trans ideology is gender critical but not necessarily radfem I believe. However, the confusion comes with places like s/gendercritical, where the majority of posters are radfems.
r/askgaybros discusses the problem of non-binary people and their activism by lazy-summer-god in LGBDropTheT
[–]Astrid2448 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun - 11 months ago (0 children)
Trans is more consistent but not by much. They often expect to have their cake and eat it too as well
Men’s lesbian porn subreddits don’t allow any trans women to post. Yet reddit doesn’t ban them. by Astrid2448 in LGBDropTheT
[–]Astrid2448[S] 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun - 11 months ago (0 children)
Both. Some of them outright have a rule against trans women and some remove it quietly.
[–]Astrid2448[S] 16 insightful - 1 fun16 insightful - 0 fun17 insightful - 0 fun17 insightful - 1 fun - 11 months ago (0 children)
That was an isolated incident though. The vast majority of men’s subreddits are not facing any backlash for this. I did an experiment where I posted transbian porn on a few of them and all of them removed the post. A few even got comments from straight men saying “this isn’t lesbian porn, fuck this garbage”
Men’s lesbian porn subreddits don’t allow any trans women to post. Yet reddit doesn’t ban them.Discussion
11 months ago by Astrid2448 to /s/LGBDropTheT from self.LGBDropTheT
if you could have any super power, what would it be? by [deleted] in Lesbians
[–]Astrid2448 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun - 11 months ago (0 children)
Time control. It’s OP, trust me. Who can stop you when you can literally just reverse time and prevent them from finishing their plan?
[–]Astrid2448[S] 6 insightful - 6 fun6 insightful - 5 fun7 insightful - 5 fun7 insightful - 6 fun - 11 months ago* (0 children)
We are associated with radfems though. It isn’t some misconception, it’s true. Any anti-TQ group you make will be immediately filled with radfems, like you said they consistently fight against it. And radfems did use detrans to further their beliefs. They often stalk other subreddits, both when they agree with them and when they don’t. And the TRAs do the same thing.
I can understand why you feel that we are not being attacked by radfems as they are definitely more open to listening to LGB people in some contexts. However, I stand by saying their willingness to hear you talk is conditional. They listen because you agree with them on trans issues. If you say anything that goes against their ideology, they are not going to listen to you either. And like TRAs, they don’t treat people they disagree with well, because they see themselves as morally superior. Also like TRAs, this applies if you agree with 90% of what they are saying but don’t agree on the 10%, and they seek to control the narrative. On reddit, they were happy to mass downvote gay people on LGBdroptheT if it meant that the radfems could boost themselves to the top of the page. They are also generally less kind to gay men than they are to lesbians.
I agree that the extremism seen in radical feminism is partially due to liberal feminists attacking women’s rights. However, it isn’t the whole story. Most radfems were already hardcore liberal feminists before becoming upset with them over trans rights issues. Had trans rights activists been less extreme, they would just be part of far left feminism as another loud SJW on Twitter. That’s what I’m pointing out.
I appreciate your thoughts and think you stated them well, btw.
What's going on with Ellen? Do you think she's being targeted? by xandit in LGBDropTheT
I think she’s genuinely just a dick. But I do get the impression that a lot of people on Twitter especially were eager to tear her down because she’s a rich white “cis” lesbian.
[–]Astrid2448[S] 9 insightful - 9 fun9 insightful - 8 fun10 insightful - 8 fun10 insightful - 9 fun - 11 months ago* (0 children)
It’s not the lesbians being mean, it’s the radical feminists being misandrist social justice warriors who are often just as arrogant and authoritarian as TRAs. And yes, if you treat people like trash or act like a moron they’ll be less inclined to support you.
[–]Astrid2448[S] 4 insightful - 3 fun4 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 3 fun - 11 months ago (0 children)
The old one somewhat did towards the end of its lifespan, because the radical feminists started to be balanced out by centrists, moderate left wingers, Republicans, gay men, and so on that were slowly joining the movement. But imo it ended before things could really get going.
[–]Astrid2448[S] 16 insightful - 10 fun16 insightful - 9 fun17 insightful - 9 fun17 insightful - 10 fun - 11 months ago* (0 children)
Many gay men have been turned away from this movement because of radical feminists treating them poorly. I know because I know several of them. This was also a common topic on reddit, gay and bi men who agree but don’t feel comfortable around women who are often frankly misandrists and social justice warriors. The same happens with many straight people and even women in general who arrive to support and then realize that there are still a lot of extremists here. It was part of the reason I made this post
[–]Astrid2448[S] 2 insightful - 8 fun2 insightful - 7 fun3 insightful - 7 fun3 insightful - 8 fun - 11 months ago (0 children)
That’s exactly what they usually are, social justice warriors, and I don’t use that term lightly. Both TRAs and radfems are, but in slightly different ways.
[–]Astrid2448[S] 5 insightful - 5 fun5 insightful - 4 fun6 insightful - 4 fun6 insightful - 5 fun - 11 months ago (0 children)
They are not right wing. They are just called right wing by TRAs because TRAs call everyone who doesn’t agree with them 100% a bad right wing bigot. Radfems do the same thing to TRAs. They are both extremist left wing groups that are fighting for control.
[–]Astrid2448[S] 7 insightful - 7 fun7 insightful - 6 fun8 insightful - 6 fun8 insightful - 7 fun - 11 months ago (0 children)
Couldn’t have said it better man. Appreciate having you around. The only thing I would add is even when it comes to the L, they are only supportive of lesbians who fully agree with them. If you differ from their views in any aspect they will shout you down as well. Just like TRAs.
"Women catering to men is so normalized that NOT treating men as a priority in your life is considered an attack on them" by [deleted] in GenderCritical
[–]Astrid2448 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun - 11 months ago (0 children)
[–]Astrid2448 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun - 11 months ago* (0 children)
See this comment is extremely disingenuous and really pisses me off.
Did anyone here say you have to give money to every homeless person you see? Did ANYONE even for a second tell you to give money to rapists and sexual harassers on the street? Did anyone tell you to pay sexist douchebags that make art that demeans women? Did I even for one millisecond in my entire life say you should give ten dollars to a homeless man that grabs your ass? No. Because in that case, you’re not supporting them because they’re shitty people or even sexual criminals.
That is not even remotely the same as not opening a door for someone BECAUSE THEY’RE A MAN. This is so incredibly missing the point that it seems intentional. Can you seriously not put 2 and 2 together and understand that there is a difference between not supporting someone BECAUSE THEY ARE MALE, excluding men as a rule (from art, from work, from basic human decency), versus because they are a shitty person who happens to be male? Like are you fucking kidding me?
[–]Astrid2448[S] 7 insightful - 8 fun7 insightful - 7 fun8 insightful - 7 fun8 insightful - 8 fun - 11 months ago* (0 children)
I don’t think they’re sitting around thinking it. I think they might come close to “peaking” and then find groups like gendercritical, which are often just as stupid but in a different way. Part of the problem is that these people are creating this huge conflict within their leftist circles that is not immediately visible to people outside it, but hurts LGB and even TQ+.
The link is that both radfems and libfems are extremely involved in the LGBT issues to the point of it being like a mini war within both feminism and the extreme left. They are often not even gay themselves but obsessed with the issue.
I am aware of the legal issues and I comment on them. I just think radfems are hurting our case rather than helping it in many cases.
Being associated with radical feminism is dragging this movement down.Discussion
11 months ago * by Astrid2448 to /s/LGBDropTheT from self.LGBDropTheT
How do you maintain attraction with weight changes? by HighPlainsDrifter in Lesbians
Honestly I would talk to her about it. Yeah it’s going to suck hearing it but she needs to take care of her health. If she doesn’t, your relationship is going to die out anyway because you’re losing attraction for her. Try to find something active you can do together.
What do you consider to be actual signs of being a late bloomer? by katzelig in Lesbians
I imagine it would be the same as a regular lesbian for a longer period of time. Trying to fit in and make others happy. However, I think the longer it goes on, the less likely that this person is really a lesbian as opposed to a bisexual who prefers women.
Just a quick note to all of you. by zerosis in LGBDropTheT
[–]Astrid2448 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun - 11 months ago (0 children)
This message actually made me feel a lot better. You’re right, they are actively trying to break down what homosexuality is. The end goal is that gender doesn’t exist, sex doesn’t exist, and sexuality doesn’t exist. Purely just “I like this individual person” which in one way might make a gay relationship more casual, but in another makes it impossible for us to talk about our own lives and problems.
[–]Astrid2448 3 insightful - 3 fun3 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 3 fun - 11 months ago (0 children)
This is such blatantly sexist nonsense and so frustrating. You know, radfems have plenty of valid criticisms about the trans movement. But things like this make it seem like it’s a case of a broken clock being right twice a day.
Opening doors for people is normal human kindness. I’m a woman. The vast majority of men and women open doors for me. If I was injured, both men and women would be helping me get through my day. That’s the society I want to live in, and luckily for me, it’s the one I do live in.
Treating men like trash to the point where you ignore them if they’re homeless, ditch them if they’re disabled, ignore anything they make because they’re a man, and so on is a shitty thing to do. And all the radfems upvoting this are going to think “OMG YOU WANT ME TO GIVE IN TO MY FEEEEMALE SOCIALIZATION YOU ARE TRAPPING ME!” No, we are calling you out on being a sexist asshole. The same way a man who proudly says “I ignore disabled and homeless women. I only help disabled men” is a piece of shit. Stay on your high horse.
People like this make your movement look terrible, radfems.
[–]Astrid2448 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun - 11 months ago* (0 children)
It isn’t female socialization. It’s literally just normal decency. Most people open doors for people. Most people help disabled people out when they can. That’s just how our society works out of kindness. The level of misandry needed to say you won’t even help a disabled man get through a door is insane, and the reason why people think radfems are idiots.
They're targeting Gaybros today by JulienMayfair in LGBDropTheT
[–]Astrid2448 20 insightful - 1 fun20 insightful - 0 fun21 insightful - 0 fun21 insightful - 1 fun - 11 months ago (0 children)
Lesbians and straight men are physically not capable of being attracted to dudes, let alone dating, fucking, and marrying them. This isn't a hard concept for most people in the world.
[–]Astrid2448 20 insightful - 2 fun20 insightful - 1 fun21 insightful - 1 fun21 insightful - 2 fun - 11 months ago* (0 children)
Lmao you weren't a lesbian. Thanks for letting the class know that you found your perfect penis when you started dating dudes. It was very important for us to hear that your taken lesbian friends were insecure as well.
About the teenager on tik tok. TRA's spreading lies about history to teenagers now. by [deleted] in LGBDropTheT
[–]Astrid2448 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun - 11 months ago (0 children)
This poor kid. Seeing this kind of thing is what made me peak. The pressure on lesbians is absolutely insane.
She's a kid who's scared. I can't imagine being attacked by so many people as a child. Don't be an asshole, especially if you're honestly trying to help gay people. Insulting scared children isn't going to make anyone want to listen to you.
[–]Astrid2448 14 insightful - 4 fun14 insightful - 3 fun15 insightful - 3 fun15 insightful - 4 fun - 11 months ago (0 children)
A large amount of their group is just made of socially awkward people who spend all their time online.
[–]Astrid2448 21 insightful - 4 fun21 insightful - 3 fun22 insightful - 3 fun22 insightful - 4 fun - 11 months ago (0 children)
What does this have to do with trans people trying to date gay people lmao. Ok then?
I'm really glad I wasn't manipulated into thinking I was trans by the online LBGT community when I was younger by spinalcentipede in LGBDropTheT
[–]Astrid2448 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun - 11 months ago (0 children)
Most of the gay people I know would've believed they were trans or AT LEAST nonbinary if they grew up with this stuff.
Have you had anyone question you for your stance on dating trans people? by reluctant_commenter in Lesbians
Because if its two women, it benefits the man, is "no threat to the relationship", and "doesn't count as real sex" for the woman. In other words, sexism and homophobia. |:
One in three people on r/actuallesbians is a transgender woman (demographic survey results) by rouge_tropical in LGBDropTheT
[–]Astrid2448 15 insightful - 1 fun15 insightful - 0 fun16 insightful - 0 fun16 insightful - 1 fun - 11 months ago (0 children)
How are there THAT MANY white people? I doubt any of the other subreddits have such an extreme ratio
Yeah it happens a lot. Actually once I was in a bar talking to some strangers, and I saw two gay men telling their straight woman friend that she should try sleeping with women. She was unsure and they kept telling her it would be fun and she should do it.
Would anyone do this to a straight man? Of course not. Plus plenty of bi women use being bisexual as a signal to the world for how special, sexy and openminded they are.
Am I the only one who *kind of* believes in transsexualism as a valid thing? by gencritcurious in GenderCritical
[–]Astrid2448 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun - 11 months ago* (0 children)
I agree with you, and I think most people do, but you're not going to find much agreement with radfems (I'm not a radfem). However, there is a problem with this line of thinking.
Someone like Blaire White or Nikita Dragun is going to essentially be seen as a woman to society. There are absolutely trans women who you'd never suspect until they told you. But how do you define that, especially in law? How do you know whether the trans person in the bathroom with you has a penis or not? Are you going to check? What if they have a vagina but are still 6'5 and 200 pounds?
Plus, there are plenty of women who aren't very feminine. What if a trans woman wants to wear boxers and short hair, likening themselves to a butch lesbian? There are lots of women who dress just like the average guy does. If a guy is wearing the same clothes, and declares himself a trans woman, the only ways to deny it are either saying women must wear feminine clothing or that trans women aren't women. That's the only way to be consistent about it.
Trans ideology is full of things like this, where you either have to be sexist or overly permissive. That's why we end up with so many generic phrases like "trans women are women" but a refusal to actually define anything or provide any coherent arguments. The left in general has decided to go for the overly permissive approach, because they're trying to be consistent and nice without having to own up to any of the sexism that is unfortunately inherent in trans ideology.
Lots of people don't even think straight women exist. They pressure them to try sleeping with women, too.
Pansexual is the narcissistic, pseudo-virtuous version of bisexuality by oevervbervb in GenderCritical
it's true, but this problem extends beyond pansexuality. do you guys not remember how before pansexual became popular, all these bisexuals would go online being like "hearts not parts <3" and all? people in general need to realize that being willing to spread your legs doesn't make you some superior being
Is there any game that you can play forever and never get bored of? by IamWomanHearMeRoar in Lesbians
[–]Astrid2448 18 insightful - 2 fun18 insightful - 1 fun19 insightful - 1 fun19 insightful - 2 fun - 11 months ago (0 children)
I find that aside from people on the far left, people either don’t agree with trans ideology or are paying it lip service. Most liberals are along the lines of “well let’s just be nice and get along”. They don’t realize that there are people thinking they can be trans lesbians, taking down businesses, protesting women’s spaces, etc. Once they hear about it they kind of freeze. They also tend to assume that LGBTALDJDLFO is a monolith and are surprised that we don’t all get along. A lot of them even think trans is basically just gay but even gayer, associating it with drag queens and gay men.
[–]Astrid2448 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun - 11 months ago* (0 children)
You know, lesbians are just gay women. Appropriating gay isn’t much better than appropriating lesbian. When people hear “I’m gay” they aren’t hearing “hi, I’m a bisexual who likes appropriating this word, I like what it does for my image!”, they’re hearing “I’m gay”. There are a LOT of women like your friend and it isn’t just silly little confusion, it has an effect and it’s harmful.
Daughter goes full SJW on dad, dad returns fire... by SNCA_Furweeb in whatever
[–]Astrid2448 7 insightful - 4 fun7 insightful - 3 fun8 insightful - 3 fun8 insightful - 4 fun - 11 months ago (0 children)
nah, they do this thing where they think misgendering people is the ultimate way to get you to agree with them. this really flipped the tables on these people lmao
Do you think its wrong for a white lesbian to call herself as stud, as the term originated in black culture by lmaonope333 in Lesbians
I actually didn't know this term was related to the black community at all until now. I've never used it but I'm learning from this thread.
What do you guys think of the new acronym flying around? by SausageFanatic in LGBDropTheT
[–]Astrid2448 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun - 11 months ago (0 children)
I think its lame to keep throwing these insults in either direction. People should defend their points, not just yell "meanie!" every time they don't like someone's argument
I made charts from 2017 GLAAD survey data showing how LGBT allegedly expanded to 20% of the 18-34 age range by [deleted] in LGBDropTheT
Where I live, pretty much every girl in the 18 - 25 range claims some sort of LGBT+ identity.
If you could be the opposite gender for a day, what would you do and why? by IamWomanHearMeRoar in Lesbians
[–]Astrid2448 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun - 11 months ago* (0 children)
Way to be dramatic. Most straight people say something along these lines when they talk about being the other sex too lol. Obviously physical differences are the biggest change. People wonder what it’s like on the other side. Most gay people also wish they were physically able to have a biological child, myself included. Get a grip
Oh, I would never let her do this to me if she grew a dick either. I just fantasize about the other way around. But you’re right!
I’ve got a bi wife who wishes she could have my biological kid and I’d love to know how it feels to be inside her like that. It’d be a win-win for us!
Unbelievably stupid list from latebloomerlesbians: signs that you are a late bloomer by Astrid2448 in Lesbians
[–]Astrid2448[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun - 11 months ago (0 children)
I do think it happens occasionally, maybe with some old women especially. But yeah it’s pretty obvious that most of the girls claiming it aren’t
My wife is bisexual so if I swapped sexes I could use that perk hahaha
[–]Astrid2448[S] 15 insightful - 1 fun15 insightful - 0 fun16 insightful - 0 fun16 insightful - 1 fun - 11 months ago* (0 children)
I am well aware of the social pressures on people, particularly women. I am not asking for everyone to be a gold star and I am not even a gold star myself. I am from an extremely conservative background where I was disowned for being a lesbian. But this article, and latebloomerlesbians in general, is absolutely loaded to the brim with women who are not even remotely lesbians but convince themselves they are or intentionally lie about it. And no, the problem with this article is not that you have to "agree with every point" but that almost every single part of it sounds nothing like a lesbian. The only things I cut from the document were rambling areas from the points above, so don't be disingenuous. That isn't because of social pressure, that is because of the clear attraction to men, upset with bad relationships that have nothing to do with sexuality, and general total lack of understanding of homosexuality. Even look at you here... "well some of them date women!" Yeah, ok, plenty of them don't, and of the ones that do are almost always bisexual women who are attracted to men as well.
Sure, they can be bisexual, but they are not lesbians if they are reading this post and even kind of thinking that it sounds accurate. They are not lesbians if they read a place like latebloomerlesbians, which is full of women proudly calling themselves lesbians despite being in love with their husband, regularly fucking dudes, having boyfriends, or retaining attraction to men that they choose not to act on. That isn't because they're "late bloomers" and the mean gold stars are putting them down, this is not because people expect you to know everything about everything in the womb. This is because they were never lesbians to begin with. Your reaction to this stuff, and the subreddit latebloomerlesbians in general, makes me seriously doubt that you're a lesbian as well.
[–]Astrid2448 13 insightful - 2 fun13 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 2 fun - 11 months ago (0 children)
I would want a blowjob. Tbh. Then I would get my wife pregnant.
[–]Astrid2448[S] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun - 11 months ago (0 children)
I’m not sure if it’s allowed to post links but you can find it if you search for “things straight women don’t say” I believe.
[–]Astrid2448[S] 22 insightful - 1 fun22 insightful - 0 fun23 insightful - 0 fun23 insightful - 1 fun - 11 months ago (0 children)
In fact, they will ban actual lesbians for not validating them enough.
[–]Astrid2448[S] 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun - 11 months ago (0 children)
I appreciate them.
[–]Astrid2448[S] 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun - 11 months ago (0 children)
Oh, plenty of them are young too. Stupidity has no age limit :(
[–]Astrid2448[S] 27 insightful - 1 fun27 insightful - 0 fun28 insightful - 0 fun28 insightful - 1 fun - 11 months ago (0 children)
I’m not surprised at this point either, but I am frustrated that bi women are essentially making themselves the ambassadors of a community they’re not even part of. I wish there were more bi people calling it out for what it is.
[–]Astrid2448[S] 25 insightful - 4 fun25 insightful - 3 fun26 insightful - 3 fun26 insightful - 4 fun - 11 months ago (0 children)
Worst part: this has over 200 upvotes and a bunch of comments saying “omg this is just like me!!”
[–]Astrid2448[S] 25 insightful - 1 fun25 insightful - 0 fun26 insightful - 0 fun26 insightful - 1 fun - 11 months ago (0 children)
For real. It’s so tone deaf. I’m not even welcome at family occasions BECAUSE I’m a lesbian. But sure, it’s so easy, a lesbian couple is clearly just gal pals + sex with no worries at all.
Unbelievably stupid list from latebloomerlesbians: signs that you are a late bloomer
11 months ago * by Astrid2448 to /s/Lesbians from self.Lesbians
/r/actuallesbians: the perfect place for all your trans related questions by millionssomething in GenderCritical
[–]Astrid2448 29 insightful - 5 fun29 insightful - 4 fun30 insightful - 4 fun30 insightful - 5 fun - 11 months ago (0 children)
I’ve seen a lot of them honestly suggest that you have sex with them anyway and just don’t touch their dick. Reminds me of the guys who ask lesbians if they can just finger them, except this time apparently it’s progressive
Political Lesbianism is not forced lesbianism/fake lesbianism. by [deleted] in Lesbians
[–]Astrid2448 23 insightful - 2 fun23 insightful - 1 fun24 insightful - 1 fun24 insightful - 2 fun - 11 months ago* (0 children)
This seems just as dumb as it seemed before. They should've never co-opted a word that referred to an oppressed group of gay people. I don't care if a bunch of straight and bi women are trying to stick it to the man or be celibate or whatever it is. Leave us out of it.
The male gaze by RedditHatesLesbians in Lesbians
[–]Astrid2448 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun - 11 months ago (0 children)
Its alright, don't worry about it
Need *SERIOUS* Advice Please by [deleted] in Lesbians
She sounds bi to me... at first I was like well maybe she had some threesome for her ex's sake... then the male porn and reveal that the guy in the threesome touched her too. And how did this go from "the guy and I didn't do anything" to "he touched me"? Is it just because she didn't do PIV with him, so it doesn't count? Bad vibe
I'm not making an unfair generalization. Im not talking about people who just happen to like idk football or something and make friends with the guys on their team. I'm talking about women who are frankly sexist and go out of their way to say things like "I like men because women are so vapid and annoying" or "I like having fun and making silly jokes and women are too uptight for me because of that". I already clarified that
Why is female sexuality so easily dismissed? by RedditHatesLesbians in Lesbians
Well yeah, of course we're talking about our thoughts, first because this is a forum where discussion is allowed and second because you said that it was because of women's biology that these changes are there and not social causes. You didn't just say "this is why", you said "this is why, and men don't do this, and its because of biology" which is why people are explaining why they disagree with you.
[–]Astrid2448 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun - 11 months ago* (0 children)
You mean like straight men sleeping with each other in prison? Sexual behavior can be weird anywhere, people just hide it depending on how it’s seen by their demographic of interest. In the case of radfems, they aren’t trying to impress men, they’re trying to impress their radfem friends who see lesbianism as some pure higher existence (which it is not). They are trying to show that they are independent and don’t need a man to those people, often after something bad like abuse. Gay men are not seen as pure by anyone, because what they do isn’t trivialized and fetishized. Instead it tends to mark whoever does it as feminine (which is seen as insulting) and disgusting, especially historically.
Edit: person above me explained this very well
You misunderstood my first point. I’m not saying that they’re with men because they like power. I’m saying that it’s much, much easier to find a boyfriend than a girlfriend given that men have much more capital and are raised to be forward. Lesbians don’t even really have spaces for you to go to, meanwhile you can walk down the street and have a man who will not only date you but pay you to be there essentially. You can go to a bar and have sex lined up. This is a big part of why out bi men tend to go for men as well, because they can find a man much more easily.
On incels: Because being a gay man is seen as degrading while being a lesbian is fetishized and not taken seriously. Meanwhile, because of the history women have, being “above the patriarchy” is something that’s seen as cool and independent. It is not cool to be above straightness as a man. Actually, if you know a lot of gay men, almost all of them will tell you that they’ve hooked up with men who say they are straight. Plenty of times they even really believe it and string gay guys along, etc. There is a lot of heartbreak that goes on in that community as well, because men who are not out bi men (the out ones being those who PREFER men, not just like both) are extremely reluctant to announce it out of fear. Women tend to jump on the opportunity to even call themselves lesbians because they will get seen as sexy by their future boyfriends. And many women are desperate to be seen as desirable by the people who have historically literally owned them. You see this same kind of behavior with other minorities too.
Of course men will show less of this behavior when historically they’ve been the owner of the woman. A guy dating a woman who makes more, is taller, is smarter, is more authoritative, etc. is seen as a loser and frequently insulted.
[–]Astrid2448 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun - 11 months ago (0 children)
They deny it all day but to me it’s always seemed pretty obvious. It’s a few specific archetypes that you see over and over. It’s not even just about appealing to men (though that’s a big part of it), it’s their image in general. They want to be seen as unattainable, mysterious, sexy, independent, cool. And apparently pretending to be a lesbian is their way of doing that. This goes for straight women, but bisexual women do it even more
[–]Astrid2448 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun - 11 months ago* (0 children)
It’s a combination of a lot of different things, some of which are worsened by the current “progressive” atmosphere which incentivizes trying to look cool and oppressed through your sexuality. Women haven’t had agency for that long in history, fetishization, lying bi women, power dynamics, etc.
[–]Astrid2448 15 insightful - 1 fun15 insightful - 0 fun16 insightful - 0 fun16 insightful - 1 fun - 11 months ago* (0 children)
Unfortunately I agree somewhat. I do think there’s a lot of social causes for it too though. Like men make a lot of the money, they are socialized take charge romantically and sexually, they have most of the power, they have social acceptance on their side, and women are taught to be more demure. Then there’s the fetishization aspect, because men drive what’s considered desirable. All of these things feed into the way bi and gay women act. I think if gay men were in this situation, we’d see a lot more “fluidity” with them too. But unfortunately, we’re in this situation...
Additionally, this kind of thing is why you don’t see straight men jumping around on their identities so much. Women’s sexuality is belittled and fetishized so women feel free to exaggerate, lie, etc. about it without fear of the consequences. No man is going to risk coming out as even bisexual unless they lean towards men, because they’re going to carry a stigma, be seen as less manly, and have a hard time with women from then on. Even if they admit to being with another man once, while on the other hand straight women are being pressured into threesomes and experimentation with women.
No, Im not a radfem and that is not what I said. I’m talking about the girls who say stuff like “I can’t stand women, I only get along with men! Women are soo much drama, they’re all so toxic! I like talking about more than just shoes and lipstick!”
I have male friends too, I think most people have at least a few. That isn’t the point. It’s the girls who go out of their way to say their own sex isn’t as worthy of their time as men are, and that all women are apparently problematic, stupid, or boring except for them.
I know its been discussed before, but I need clarification again - why is Transgender so much different than someone saying they are Transracial? I understood before - gender is not biological, etc. but now with the blurring of biology within this ideology I am confused with this argument. by lunarenergy8 in GenderCritical
[–]Astrid2448 22 insightful - 1 fun22 insightful - 0 fun23 insightful - 0 fun23 insightful - 1 fun - 11 months ago* (0 children)
Gender doesn’t exist, but sex does. Trans people are not just trying to change gender-related conversations. Nearly all sex-based protections, interest groups, scholarships, awards, competitions, and so on have been opened to trans women as well. Even sexualities, doctors, sports, the prison system and biology as a whole are under attack by people who insist there is no meaningful difference, that sex is fluid, or that penises can be female organs. This is absolutely a conversation about both, because the community at large is insisting that gender identity should be the deciding factor on everything. I don’t think many people would have an issue with someone simply saying they’d like to socially addressed as a woman but don’t expect to be included in single-sex spaces, women’s organizations, winni women’s awards, etc.
I appreciate talking to you too, and wish there was more of this kind of discussion going on. I agree that we overlap on several things. Have a good day!
Moving to France doesn't make you French by [deleted] in GenderCritical
[–]Astrid2448 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun - 11 months ago* (0 children)
There is actually a theory gaining some ground in academia called racial formation theory.
[–]Astrid2448 24 insightful - 1 fun24 insightful - 0 fun25 insightful - 0 fun25 insightful - 1 fun - 11 months ago* (0 children)
Transracial is more convincing because “race” doesn’t really even exist. Obviously there is a difference between a white person and a Nigerian but there isn’t some moment where a person goes from being say, asian to European, genetically.
Again, should be isnt the same as is. Sex is not treated inconsequentially at all, and it often comes with privilege that is made invisible by transitioning in the same way that Donald trump identifying as a black man would make his privilege invisible. And great, I’m happy that women are allowed to talk about their issues according to (some) trans people, but that doesn’t change that trans women are speaking on behalf of women, taking spots in women’s organizations and leadership, telling women how to speak, and taking awards and scholarships designated for women. All of these things were created in the first place because women (as in the female sex, not trans women) have historically been seen as property for sexual gratification and babymaking.
[–]Astrid2448 12 insightful - 9 fun12 insightful - 8 fun13 insightful - 8 fun13 insightful - 9 fun - 11 months ago (0 children)
Weeaboos would jump on the chance to be transracial if they could.
I’ve had the same problem with guys having ulterior motives to friendship. I love the idea of having a straight guy best friend in the vein of straight women making friends with gay men, but in reality, we get sexualized a lot. I’ve also had guys try to wait for the right time to turn me and it grosses me out.
I do have some close male friends though. One of my closest is a bi man (he leans very heavily straight, basically he every now and then hooks up with a guy but wouldn’t date one). We have a really chill friendship where I have no fear about that kind of thing.
[–]Astrid2448 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun - 11 months ago* (0 children)
Real talk... most of the women who say this (for clarification: “this” referring to girls who put down all women but themselves as problematic, stupid, or boring) think it’s “easier” to be friends with men because they won’t call them out the way another woman would. If she acts like a jackass they’ll either say “eh, women are crazy (in other words: “I have low standards for this person’s behavior because they are female”)” or “she’s hot, let it go”. They don’t have to take accountability and their insecurity doesn’t have to face “competition”. That’s why
[–]Astrid2448 39 insightful - 4 fun39 insightful - 3 fun40 insightful - 3 fun40 insightful - 4 fun - 11 months ago* (0 children)
First of all, I largely agree with your reasoning. But isn’t it interesting how when it comes to non-white people, we can stop and say “hey, given our racist past and present, shouldn’t we be careful about this?” but even suggesting that we do that for women is unacceptable. Black people were literal slaves, considered 3/5 human, and they still got the right to vote before women did. There is so much sexism in our society even today.
Additionally, there is the issue that “should be” isnt the same as “is”. It would be nice if skin color meant nothing. In reality, racism (both conscious and subconscious) is a serious problem and has been for all of human history. When some white person claims to be black and uses that to, for example, speak on behalf of blacks people, take positions in black organizations, win black scholarships, police the speech of black people, and so on, that seems gross.
[–]Astrid2448 4 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 2 fun - 11 months ago (0 children)
Haha. I wonder how Rachel Dolezal didn’t peak more people.
[–]Astrid2448 9 insightful - 2 fun9 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 2 fun - 11 months ago (0 children)
If transracial ever became a thing you better believe the Japanese and Koreans would get an influx of creepy incels... as the lesbians are now
Do real (and self aware) lesbians exist in real life anymore? by RedditHatesLesbians in Lesbians
I’ve met 10-15 lesbians. A few through school and work, two online (one I’ve met in person, the other I haven’t but I consider a close friend), a few while traveling, and two that I dated. Pretty much all of them are in relationships with women right now and most of them are pretty cool.
Has there been an instant spark with your romantic interests or did the attraction take time to develop? by piylot in Lesbians
I usually know how I feel quickly... every time I’ve tried to go on a few dates just because someone is “smart”, “cute”, “nice” and I thought I would get feelings that were deeper later, it didn’t work. The people I’ve liked have started with passion
What's your biggest personality turn on? by RedditHatesLesbians in Lesbians
Sass, spontaneity, a little arrogance can be hot too
TRANS POC with BLM crowd yelling slurs at gay diners https://twitter.com/KittyLists/status/1292268389059108880 by xandit in LGBDropTheT
I almost feel bad for these people, because I think they really believe this false history is the truth
An interesting quote from Dave Chapelle
Why are most trans people white? by BiologicalMolecule in GenderCritical
Oh man. He hit the nail on the head. It’s interesting hearing about these things from someone with an outside perspective.
In most of these countries, these third genders are used on men who aren’t masculine enough to be considered real men. It isn’t some progressive thing, it’s an example of men like gay men being excluded by other men. They are given a low status and they are not seen as truly another sex, they’re seen as lesser men.
It’s really frustrating for me to see people use things like Hijra as evidence when Indians don’t even really support gay people. They generally think gay is caused by hormonal issues and that trans is an example of crazy white people. No one in India really believes that there are all these other genders, in fact they laugh at what places like the US do.
Officially lost my best friend to gender theory by RealWomenResist in GenderCritical
Long ago, it was the LGBT community that would defend lesbians from gross comments like that. It was the stereotypical homophobic guy thing to say and was considered a massive dick move. Now it’s back, but apparently we’re bigots for having an issue with it.
Online Lesbians and Sex-work by IamWomanHearMeRoar in Lesbians
[–]Astrid2448 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun - 11 months ago (0 children)
I don’t think this is common with actual lesbians. But I did notice a trend where strippers and sex workers like to call themselves lesbians both as a marketing tactic and a way to distance themselves from men. They aren’t actually gay though, they just like saying it. So they frequently end up with men.
Example: the girl who wrote that “quarantine made me sleep with my male roommate” article was a “lesbian” sex worker.
Feeling like I'm leading an endless battle against the system by LesChameleon in Lesbians
[–]Astrid2448 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun - 11 months ago (0 children)
I agree with you and it’s a rough situation. It’s a combination of heteronormativity, sexism (because same sex relationships between women are so trivialized that these women treat it like a party hat) and misogyny (hmm, I wonder why bisexuality between women is so desired..). But I don’t know how you’d change it either. I ran into quite a few of these girls when I was single and didn’t really give them the time of day, so I didn’t have as many experiences with them (ok with me). I did date bisexuals but tried to stick with the ones who I could tell were more committed and not just stepping in for the experience and the stories to tell their future husband. It made me feel like I had a dating pool of like five people to choose from, but I did meet my current partner.
Maybe it’ll help if you run when you see the red flags with how they talk about men and women.
Weird experience dating a bisexual woman by itsmehere in Lesbians
[–]Astrid2448 21 insightful - 1 fun21 insightful - 0 fun22 insightful - 0 fun22 insightful - 1 fun - 11 months ago (0 children)
Oh man, I hate those types. They see lesbianism as a choice you make when you lose your main options. They end up sticking around for a short phase (during which they loudly scream about comphet and lesbianism) before getting a boyfriend and becoming “sexuality is fluid” advocates. It’s really degrading and misogynistic.
[–]Astrid2448 19 insightful - 2 fun19 insightful - 1 fun20 insightful - 1 fun20 insightful - 2 fun - 11 months ago (0 children)
Unfortunately, this is my experience too. And if you call any of them out, they rage and say it’s their label and affects no one else. Because apparently they live in on another planet and dont represent a growing mob of homophobic women telling the world that gay women really do like men.
The fact that they think it’s a choice 🙄