Why is female sexuality so easily dismissed?

submitted by RedditHatesLesbians from self.Lesbians

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[–]a_blue_bird 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (8 children)

Like men make a lot of the money, they are socialized take charge romantically and sexually, they have most of the power, they have social acceptance on their side .. if gay men were in this situation, we’d see a lot more “fluidity” with them

Aside from social acceptance, these are things that women value in partners. Men are usually more than fine (and may even prefer) with ''marrying down'' - having a wife who earns less, has an occupation where she holds no power, and doesn't take charge in the relationship. Men value different things, like youth and beauty. I'm pretty sure this also holds for gay men, who have a beauty cult - unlike lesbians. Yet we don't see straight men ''go gay'' or ''make an exception'' for good looking young guys, or gay guys do something similar for hot young women. Why don't middle aged gay men go for youth, beauty, social acceptance and a family with biological children by marrying a considerably younger woman? Not even MGTOWs or incels go for men. Yet we all know of ''political lesbians'', ''lesbians with an exception'', ''my ex-bf was horrible so I'm a lesbian now'', ''my bf goes by Jessica now, so I'm a lesbian'' and what not. It seems that for a lot of women it takes very little to ''change'' their sexuality.

I agree that various things like money or wanting to appear ''exotic'' play a role in women's sexual behavior, but I don't really see much of that affecting men's sexual behavior. So it seems to largely boil down to the biology of the sexes.

[–]TalerTest 13 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 0 fun14 insightful - 1 fun -  (7 children)

So it seems to largely boil down to the biology of the sexes.

Could you elaborate more on this? I think it's more nurture than nature. Why do you think it's biology?

Edit: I would agree if you meant 'biology' as in physical differences, but I know you're talking about psychology/sociology here.

Women are the ones who give birth to men, but men have the biological advantages of testosterone, including physical strength. So, they grew up to overpower the one's who birthed them. They have had since the dawn of humanity to set up the traditional heterosexual relationship & family model (HRM) wherein the man is the Sun and his family has to orbit him. So, of course men would want to have a wife who has less power than him in the relationship. The Earth can't outshine than the Sun.

Political lesbians are bi/straight women who likely view the world from the Heterosexual Relationship Model. So, they think that by choosing to opt out of sleeping with men or choosing women over men, they are defeating the precept that women exist to live in servitude to men. Sex in the het world has always been seen as part of that servitude. It's something women give, and men get. There are still countries where martial rape is not a crime. I suppose polilez think, with their HRM mindsets, that not sleeping with men or choosing women (who are lesser in the HRM) over men is like the ultimate revenge.

It makes no sense to compare Political lesbians to MGTOW or incels. Their motives are very different. Polilez want to get away from men because of something men did to them. Usually that something is violence or abuse. MGTOW (claim they do but never seem to actually want to) get away because of something women did not give to them. Usually, that something is sex.

''lesbians with an exception'', ''my ex-bf was horrible so I'm a lesbian now''

"bisexual woman who probably calls herself a lesbian to wet the dicks of men who get off on the delusion that they are so sexually potent that they converted a homosexual" - so fetish-ish

"Pitiful woman who thinks that being a lesbian is a choice that one makes as some act of grand emasculation of men or revenge" so Polilez-ish

''my bf goes by Jessica now, so I'm a lesbian''

This just comes back to the HRM where the woman orbits the man. Straight (and bi) women bend over backwards to please men. Could also be the fetish and wanting to appear exotic thing, too.

I acknowledge all the points you made are facts, and we've all seen them happening around us in reality, but I definitely don't think biology (as in, males and females being born with fixed mindsets) has anything to do with how those things have come about to be facts.

[–]a_blue_bird 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (6 children)

I don't know what else to write beyond what I already wrote. But one thing really can't be explained away with ''women are just raised to be docile and to go along with the stream" - the political lesbians among radfems. They're very clearly going against the stream. And there is plenty of men who think at least as badly of women as radfems think of men, yet those men aren't ''switching teams''. For all the different cases that you can imagine where a woman ''changes'' her sexuality there just don't seem to be analogue behaviors among men.

[–]Astrid2448 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

You mean like straight men sleeping with each other in prison? Sexual behavior can be weird anywhere, people just hide it depending on how it’s seen by their demographic of interest. In the case of radfems, they aren’t trying to impress men, they’re trying to impress their radfem friends who see lesbianism as some pure higher existence (which it is not). They are trying to show that they are independent and don’t need a man to those people, often after something bad like abuse. Gay men are not seen as pure by anyone, because what they do isn’t trivialized and fetishized. Instead it tends to mark whoever does it as feminine (which is seen as insulting) and disgusting, especially historically.

Edit: person above me explained this very well

[–]a_blue_bird 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

You're giving various explanations, but it doesn't really matter. The question of the topic is ''why women's sexuality is taken less seriously'', I replied ''because of women's actions''. You write that women act that way because they are trying to break away from patriarchy, are trying to appeal to men, are trying to get back at men, are trying to create a certain image, etc., etc. Ok. But none of that affects the claim that women are taken less seriously because of their own actions. Even if every word that you write about women's motivation is true.

Edit: ok, that comment wasn't by you, but it applies to both of you.

[–]TalerTest 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

You said, "I think it has to do more with women's own actions than with misogyny." If you just said "because of women's actions" I don't think I would have even replied to that. You can't separate those types of women's actions from misogyny. If we were not living in a man > woman world, I have no doubt that those women would behave differently.

But none of that affects the claim that women are taken less seriously because of their own actions.

I don't think anyone was disagreeing with this either. The comments I see are disagreeing with those actions not having much to do with misogyny.

[–]a_blue_bird 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Okay, I see your point.

You can't separate those types of women's actions from misogyny.

Why not?

If we were not living in a man > woman world, I have no doubt that those women would behave differently.

If by man > woman you mean men holding most of power and wealth in the world, in relationships etc., then I think you're wishing for an unrealistic world. Yes, if our biology was different, women were biologically the same as men, we could have that world where women would act just like men. It's just not going to happen.

Plus, the way I saw it, the behaviour vs misogyny argument was between whether a person who dismisses women's self-ID'd sexuality is doing that because this person is a misogynist, or because s/he has observed the way how women tend to behave and then drew some conclusions.

[–]Astrid2448 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Well yeah, of course we're talking about our thoughts, first because this is a forum where discussion is allowed and second because you said that it was because of women's biology that these changes are there and not social causes. You didn't just say "this is why", you said "this is why, and men don't do this, and its because of biology" which is why people are explaining why they disagree with you.