DiscussionHow do we feel about reclaiming slurs?

submitted by PatsyStoneMaverique from self.LGBDropTheT

I honestly don't know how to feel about it. My kneejerk reaction is, no, fuck that- but that's kind of my reaction about everything. There might something empowering I'm missing out on.

For instance, I was never called a dke but I got called a c__licker pretty frequently. I just can't imagine putting that in my Twitter bio or wearing it on a T-shirt. It still stings, plus it's goofy sounding to me. Would my life be better if I owned it?

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[–]ArthnoldManacatsaman🇬🇧🌳🟦 20 insightful - 2 fun20 insightful - 1 fun21 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

Like you, I'm not a fan. I understand the 'theory' behind it but I don't 'feel' it myself.

My particular bugbear is the word 'queer' because other anti-gay slurs like 'faggot' and 'poof' (and all the rest) are not yet 'reclaimed', but 'queer' is gaining traction in a way that I can't stand.

[–]MBMayfair 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

This is exactly how I feel (especially with regard to "queer")...it just doesn't click with me. No thanks.

[–]AdultMaleHomosexual 8 insightful - 2 fun8 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Its use in "critical queer theory" sure doesn't help either.

[–]Poppy29252Natal Cat Woman 18 insightful - 1 fun18 insightful - 0 fun19 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I don't think any slur can ever truly be reclaimed. For an individual it could, sure, maybe that person loves that word or is comfortable using it.

But if another person can still use that slur to degrade or dehumanize people, it's always going to be just that - a slur, not an identity.

[–]NeedMoreCoffee~=[,,_,,]=^_^= 17 insightful - 1 fun17 insightful - 0 fun18 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Imho there is no such thing as reclaiming slurs. All you do is give assholes free reign of using it against other people.

[–]hellonumpty 12 insightful - 2 fun12 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

I was thinking about this not too long ago as someone I follow on social media was going on about how she's still queer even though she's only ever been in relationships with men.

I'm a bisexual woman of a similar age to this woman, I've really only had serious relationships with women, and queer has never been something used against me (at least to my face) so I'm very much doubtful that it's ever been used against her. An observation I've made is that a lot of the people 'reclaiming' queer do so because they've never been impacted by the slur. It's why they can be so flippant about it. To them it's nothing more than an edgy label to slap on.

So, I think the reclamation of slurs would much more impactful and meaningful when the ones reclaiming the slurs are the ones who’ve been most impacted or harmed by them. Where I live, queer is very much directed at gay and bi men in particular. Obviously it's not super clear cut but all that social justice sensitivity 101 seems to go out the window when it comes to people who've actually had queer flung at them as a slur. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[–]PatsyStoneMaverique[S] 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah, they do seem to be people who've never been called whatever slur they're so proud of. I was inspired by the female f-g on the other post. Another one who's claiming a word nobody ever called her.

[–]Destresse🇨🇵 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I greatly dislike this idea of "reclaiming a slur"

I'm never going to call myself a derogatory word, I don't understand how anyone can feel this is empowering. I hate those words with a burning passion and I want them all to disappear :(

[–]slushpilot 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Somewhere along the way a difference emerged between Queer as a noun ("you fucking queer") and an adjective ("queer artist").

This also seems to be the split between negative & positive connotations today. Try it! ("Sam's a queer" / "Sam is queer")

To truly say you reclaim it, I think it would have to be the noun. I don't see that happening.

[–]RedEyedWarriorGay | Male | 🇮🇪 Irish 🇮🇪 | Antineoliberal | Cocks are Compulsory 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I don’t mind rudeness but there is a time and a place for it. And that especially goes for slurs. Besides the fact that these slurs were used to treat us like second class citizens, they’re rude. Nonetheless, I still do not want to reclaim words like fg, queer or p_f. Other than the fact that they exist solely to be slurs, I am not comfortable with straight teenagers and young adults who LARP as gay/bisexual or a living, imposing an ideology upon our community. And their attempts at reclaiming these words are among the many ways they go to colonise our community and impose their ideology upon us.

[–]chandra 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I'm not really a fan, but I'm not staunchly against it either. If I meet a gay man who throws around the f word because he thinks it's empowering to reclaim it then I guess that'll be mostly fine with me. However, a slur can only be reclaimed by people who were actually targeted by it in the first place; those teenage girls who larp as uwu cute transbois and love to throw the f word around really offend me, especially when they use it as a slur against actual gay men who don't play along with their delusions.

[–]censorshipment 4 insightful - 7 fun4 insightful - 6 fun5 insightful - 7 fun -  (0 children)

As Captain America said... "Son, just don't."

https://youtu.be/sniRiRzqy0c?t=47

I cringe when I see lesbians calling themselves dykəs. But I'm biased as hell because I don't cringe when women call themselves bitchəs. At least I'm self-aware enough to admit I'm biased. Lol

[–]xanditAGAB (Assigned Gay at Birth) 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

reclaiming is an illusion. Otherwise words like the n word would have no power.

[–]PatsyStoneMaverique[S] 5 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

My attempt at censorship backfired and a whole sentence got fucked up and I can't fix it. Hopefully you can fill in the blanks.

[–]YoutiaoLover 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Fun fact! You can add backslash (\) before the * to cancel the italics.

If you type: [wi\*h backsl\*sh]

the result will look this way: [wi*h backsl*sh]

[–]deliciousdogfoodmy name isnt a puppyplay reference i swear 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Stick these smug pampered college kids in situations where those slurs precede sudden impact for the unprepared and see if they're still falling over themselves to call each other faggots on twitter.

[–]lazy-summer-godSuper Gay 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

You're free to call yourself whatever you want.

I'm free to beat you up if you call me a slur, though.

[–]grammaroo 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

oh lord jesus i just looked at your profile and you're a fucking bisexual. NO. NO you cannot "reclaim" these slurs. what the fuck is the matter with you?

[–]PatsyStoneMaverique[S] 4 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 2 fun -  (3 children)

Edit: I'm just not gonna talk to you.

[–]grammaroo 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

just stop. jesus. and arent you embarrassed? have some dignity.

[–]PatsyStoneMaverique[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

You tell me lol

[–]antares 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I only have one comment and it refers to the F-slur of gay men. There seems to be an extremely established fork whether that word is okay. On this sub, it's considered a slur. Unlike the n-word, not even the gay men use variants of it. Meanwhile, on imageboard communities including those dedicated to lgbt, it's used to the point of becoming a suffix to mean "that one in our site community that likes (topic/brand/object)" regardless of sexuality.

[–]PatsyStoneMaverique[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

That's true, that pops up anytime you leave the mainstream internet. I see people calling themselves magafags even (Trump supporters.)

As for the censorship, I thought it was a sub rule. I see people who didn't delete a vowel who still have their posts up so maybe it's done by usage rather than discussing the terms.

[–]grammaroo 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

no. the only group of people who tried to reclaim slurs were black people and they regretted it massively. they have the power to commit physical violence as a group of people and excuse themselves but we dont have that to regulate others. and theyre quite stupid for trying to reclaim it. Jews dont try to reclaim "kike". The word FGGT is the only actual real slur. Nothing else even comes close. There are multiple countries basically trying out genocide programs against gays and we just consider it normal because it takes time to find them all. It's been going on for 2000 years. Everyone wants to appropriate that word. i've even seen some "non binary lesbians" try and approrpriate it. You can't "appropriate it" and the best thing to do is stigmatize the word and the people who use it. How can you fucking appropriate a word when everyone else doesnt respect you and actively uses it to mock your humanity? It just doesnt work. You just try and humiliate the people who use it.

[–]Socialjustus 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Well, let's look at which groups have tried to "take back" words and compare them with those who decided not to.

Ever met a Jewish person who likes to be called a ke or an Asian that likes to be called "cnk"? No? Well there you go.

[–]PatsyStoneMaverique[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I get your point, but if you've never heard of Kinky Friedman and the Texas Jew Boys do Google them.