deliciousdogfood

Just throwing in on the culture point that seems to be falling by the wayside in this thread;

If you'd want to avoid being involved in peoples/families of a certain culture because it holds values you don't agree with, that's also a good reason to turn down dating opportunities.

I wouldn't, for example, date a man who is devout in his following of Islam. (Yes, somehow it happens and Islamic faith is reconciled with being homosexual. Somehow.) I don't agree with its views on homosexuality or women, and I also wouldn't want to have to deal with that guys family. Culture is important to people, and if you're just tolerating parts of someone's culture there's inevitably going to be friction between you when your most intimate and vulnerable moments are shared. People are well within their right to not want to deal with that. Many people also want to become involved with those who have similar cultural experiences and want to form a more familiar family unit with mutual expectations, and I'd consider that a reasonable perspective.

As far as broadcasting it on your profile is concerned, I'd say its a simple matter of when in Rome. You wouldn't say "no fems/olds/blacks" to someone if they struck up a conversation with you in the real world, but dating apps are trashy so the interactions are often trashy.

I would think that if you're not interested in someone, or don't find particular racial features attractive, you're doing both parties a favor by making that clear in the first place. Letting people know that you're not interested in a romantic relationship isn't an attack unless you do it by attacking them. It's not exactly like you have to spit on them and tell them to die in a hole - you can still be friends, you just don't want to bump uglies.

I think the fact that this argument exists at all is a result of our pornsick culture. Watch someone fuck the pizza delivery guy enough times and you start to think that's a regular, polite and courteous baseline interaction that people have all the time.

Just to make it clear however, no matter how roughly someone's let down, if they start pulling the race card on people for not wanting to fuck them they've got serious social issues. Just like everyone else trying to police consent.