RantI feel like we made a monkey's paw wish by wanting #ownvoices media

submitted by lovelyspearmintLesbeing a lesbian from self.LGBDropTheT

I remember when LGB media, stories and characters (movies, shows, books) were few and far between, and I always wanted better representation, stories actually written about LGB people by LGB people. But now we can't get enough 'queer' representation but a) most of it's written by queer/trans (straight) people LARPing as LGB, or it has to include every intersectional demographic under the sun. Not to mention most of that media is offensive, inaccurate, infantilising, woke, and makes LGB relationships 'cute' as opposed to actually realistic and romantic.

Rant over.

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[–]barnarnasis this tv show my friend? 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

My first DNF of 2021 was something recommended to me as a "queer anti-capitalist love story" that I put down after I realized the love interest was non-binary and reading they was becoming tedious. I do think the #ownvoices movement was started with good intentions, but it addressed the wrong issue. Suddenly the LGB elements not only needed to be the focus of the story, but there was also pressure to support something just because it was written by a "queer" person, and if it flopped then it was the fault of everyone who didn't read/watch. I've gotten to the point where I prefer subtext over in-your-face gay content since most of it feels so unrealistic.

[–]deliciousdogfoodmy name isnt a puppyplay reference i swear 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

That tends to happen when all of it is being written by woke gender studies virgins/manchildren. I know these kinds of people. They have no idea how relationships of any orientation work.

It always ends up being either completely stupid explosive drama, or retarded uwu shit with them. They just don't understand what really happens when two people enter into a bond of trust, and how common it is to step on each others toes from time to time and how any rational people take the time to calmly reconcile differences of opinion/accidentally hurtful comments or behaviors.

I imagine its why reddit relationship advice tends to go something along the lines of "He spilled coffee on your jeans while they were hanging up to dry?????? LEAVE HIM GURLLLLLL if he loved you nothing would ever go wrong"

They think relationships are no work when its love, when in reality you work because its love.

[–]reluctant_commenter 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Lol that's a really good way of putting it, that's actually kinda hilarious. Apart from the grim reality of it, of course.

I'm curious as to whether there actually was any good representation. Hearing about like, Brokeback Mountain and Blue is the Warmest Color (both seemingly by straight people, for straight people) makes me wonder.

[–]lovelyspearmintLesbeing a lesbian[S] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Brokeback (both the short story and movie) are very good, although I'm not sure how accurate it is as a portrayal of being gay. Blue is the Warmest Colour, at least the film, is made by a man, very male-gazey, and the sex feels off, probably because of the director's lack of being a lesbian and because he made the actresses feel unpleasant on set and that bled into the performances (he's also sexually assaulted a woman, so there's that).

Books by Sarah Waters (lesbian) are usually good, although a subplot in Tipping the Velvet, where the main lesbian character becomes a cross-dressing rent boy that (enjoys) pleasuring gay men, wasn't great. The character wasn't bi, very much so a lesbian.