Just too real

anxietyaccount8 · 2020-12-05T03:28:43+00:00

I'm not a butch lesbian myself (and I'm not sure if most people there actually are) but I came across this post and I just couldn't believe how some commenters completely missed the point of our rhetoric. We don't even believe you can be "closeted non-binary" because we don't think non-binary is even a relevant label. If you feel like you're different from other women, so you're not a woman, it doesn't matter, because you literally are. This is unlike being a closeted gay. You can objectively be homosexual, whether you like it or not, because you are only attracted to the same sex and not the opposite one.

anxietyaccount8 · 2020-10-25T14:49:16+00:00

Obsessed. Just, obsessed.

I'm pissed that our Reddit sub was banned, I bet a ton of more women would have woken up to this by now.

anxietyaccount8 · 2020-10-11T15:47:18+00:00

You know, I used to think some radfems were exaggerating that some people are extra hateful because we're women. I was thinking, "nah, it's because of our views, TRAs would be just as mad if we're male." But now I'm starting to think it's actually true.

Imagine if JKR was a male author...I can't see this level of backlash happening. I feel like people would get over it much more easily.

anxietyaccount8 · 2020-09-22T21:59:13+00:00

Huh, so they suddenly remembered what biological sex is. Interesting.

anxietyaccount8 · 2020-12-08T17:54:09+00:00

I agree. They don't seem to realize that if EVERY masculine or vaguely GNC woman became "non-binary", the word "woman" would only include feminine women who completely fit the stereotype. And I also wonder, if they don't consider themselves women, do they not think that feminism or women's issues apply to them? There's so much confusion going on.

anxietyaccount8 · 2020-11-25T03:38:47+00:00

So basically people are turning the image of a "bimbo" into something liberal and woke? This is the epitome of what I hate about libfems.

anxietyaccount8 · 2021-03-08T23:43:19+00:00

I think that may be a bit cynical, maybe the reason it appealed to so many people is because it's seen as funny and a meme. Unlike our movement...

But you know what, you're right, I would have never expected the ENTIRE internet to be talking about it. It's weird that this happened.

anxietyaccount8 · 2021-03-14T17:32:27+00:00

“Gen Z have redefined the meaning of bimbo,” Hannah explains. “It’s no longer a dirty word with negative connotations; it’s been restructured from its original meaning. A new age bimbo is thought of as someone who is politically active and values far left views

That literally changes what "bimbo" is supposed to mean...bimbos aren't supposed to be thoughtful or have strong political views.

All of this garbage is just an excuse to perpetuate extreme, hyper-"feminine", pornified beauty standards that still demean women.

anxietyaccount8 · 2020-10-08T13:09:34+00:00

But how do you excuse the directors having to watch multiple little girls twerk in order to film it? Or the scenes where they unnecessarily zoom in on the girls' private parts? Do we have to sexualize little girls in order to show people that "it exists"?

anxietyaccount8 · 2021-02-06T17:35:11+00:00

So you guys are saying that GC spaces are heavily censored. I'm not 100% sure why you experienced this, but it may because the mods are trying to make sure they are mainly-radfem spaces. Our spaces face the threat of being taken over by conservative people. On GC twitter, I see conservative-minded people (with regards to gender) all the time, and it's really weird. They talk about masculinity and femininity as if they are objective and rigid concepts.

Some people seem to think GenderCritical is the "We Disagree With TRAs Club", and not the "We Are Critical Of Gender Club"

anxietyaccount8 · 2021-03-16T17:19:13+00:00

I've seen that account before. She exposed the fact that clitoral anatomy is seen as unimportant by many medical textbooks. Disturbing...

anxietyaccount8 · 2020-12-25T23:27:23+00:00

I don't completely know JK Rowling's motivations. But there's a pattern where people assume radfems are "insecure" about our womanhood or gender identity. And I feel that for many of us, this is not the case whatsoever. I mean, there are radfems who are "de"-transmen, but it's not the majority.

anxietyaccount8 · 2020-12-17T17:40:44+00:00

(I know this OP is male and trans so I'm not specifically talking about them), but as a straight woman lurker I am perpetually confused by how many young queer people actually do seem to be interested in F/M sexuality as long as it's not "traditional" somehow. There are many self-described lesbians who are like "well I just have a comphet crush on a feminine/celebrity man" or "I like straight couples when the dynamic between them is equal". This is incredibly strange to me. I hope that doesn't offend anybody but it's just my thoughts.

anxietyaccount8 · 2020-09-13T17:41:09+00:00

I wasn't even able to watch those scenes. It's indefensible.

If you don't think pedos will enjoy watching it, you're very naive.

anxietyaccount8 · 2020-09-05T16:36:50+00:00

Yeah, I used to feel quite insecure, literally as a teenage girl, for being too "vanilla". Fuck anybody who thinks sending that message to young girls is appropriate...

It's so funny, I've never heard of a young man feeling too vanilla for disliking femdom? Not even once. I wonder why that could be?

anxietyaccount8 · 2021-08-11T04:17:18+00:00

I don't know if I can say I'm "re-peaking". But I just came across a trend which is horrifying so I hope radfems pay attention to this.

Non-binaries and TQ are already non-feminist. But I fear this could turn into active anti-feminism. One reason is because of their inexplicable hatred towards "cis women" and "straight women". They're always gatekeeping and criticizing random things, even if there's no reason or logic behind it.

It could be very plausible that they'll go after straight women who don't follow or subvert gender roles for "fetishizing and appropriating non-binary queerness" or something. That sounds exactly like something they would say.

I would have never thought that people on the left could turn into misogynists who love gender roles more than any conservative

anxietyaccount8 · 2020-12-26T00:58:43+00:00

It's not even necessarily that we're jealous of transwomen, they just think that we're closeted "non-binary" or trans men. When our entire point is that we criticize certain gendered labels (calling yourself "non-binary" is completely subjective, unlike calling yourself gay).

Somebody in the thread literally said this:

Speaking as an old person, I think a LOT, and possibly the vast majority, of 2ndwave feminists are nonbinary AFAB&AMAB people

anxietyaccount8 · 2020-10-27T16:05:06+00:00

"How is porn misogynistic, what about gay porn?" Like...wow, maybe we were talking about the porn with women in it?

"Everybody knows porn isn't real sex," No, they don't, not when young peoples' sexualities are literally molded from it.

anxietyaccount8 · 2020-07-27T17:07:48+00:00

I can't imagine that most libertarians would support us...

anxietyaccount8 · 2020-07-19T16:24:44+00:00

We need SOMEWHERE to discuss radical feminism. Some of the discussions that were had on GC were very thoughtful. I can't believe they're all gone!

anxietyaccount8 · 2020-08-23T23:39:00+00:00

That's quite the old article, but there are many newer ones just like it. Not sure how mainstream this behavior is. But yeah, it depresses me that people's idea of "sex positivity" is so pornified.

anxietyaccount8 · 2020-12-31T20:47:42+00:00

To be fair, sometimes a man may look quite feminine or a woman may look masculine. So you can't always tell. But the majority of times, yeah...

anxietyaccount8 · 2020-12-07T02:36:12+00:00

Why is this harmful? Because it teaches women not to act as agents in their lives. It breeds learned helplessness and passivity in the lives of women who hope to be saved one day

Tbh, while women may act "passive" in other ways (like accepting mistreatment) I wouldn't say that this is actually a huge issue for us. A lot of women learn that they must take responsibility for themselves, and be selfless for others.

Beauty is often the first form of power that women are introduced to. The intoxicating feeling of being admired and praised for your looks become deeply inscribed in the psyche of young women.

But what if...you're not pretty? The part of liberal feminism which acts like all young women are beautiful and sexy is so weird.

anxietyaccount8 · 2020-12-02T15:13:24+00:00

This isn't really a "peak" story, but just so you guys know, some "tru trans" people/HSTS have extremely and I mean EXTREMELY conservative views of gender, so I don't think GCs should be hanging with those ones.

anxietyaccount8 · 2020-07-27T16:47:10+00:00

I'm so pissed off by how some people see sex as degrading. Who does it benefit? Nobody, not even men. So why do we as a society still have that attitude?

I'm so used to seeing women degraded [in porn] and whenever I get with a new partner, their first thing they want to see is if I like being degraded.

If this keeps happening, why does she continue to sleep with these different guys?

anxietyaccount8 · 2021-04-03T01:46:33+00:00

"Forced feminization" was disgusting enough, now they brought kids into it?

anxietyaccount8 · 2020-10-09T14:32:01+00:00

A lot of Gen Z females (a HUGE percentage) say they are LGBT, whether or not they actually are, I'm not sure. I think sexuality has a lot to do with socialization and environment so it's possible. Maybe this has caused the trend you noticed?

anxietyaccount8 · 2021-06-08T18:09:23+00:00

Conservatives always blame women for falling birth rates, but a lot of young people simply can't afford or don't have the time to start a family. Not to mention, who wants to raise a daughter with a violent porn addict?

anxietyaccount8 · 2021-07-15T22:46:14+00:00

Radfems agree that they would prefer if people did not contribute to porn/the sex industry. That's the #1 thing agreed on. Erotica is not necessarily connected to that industry.

I just had a run in with someone on Ovarit who appears to believe that if one has a partner who watches or has ever watched porn

That's very odd considering you can stop even if you watched it before. Also, how can you be anti-porn if you've never even seen it?

When it comes to discussion on kink, one person might see something as kink where another doesn't. Where is the line drawn? We don't need to decide for every individual person but I'd like to think feminism is about helping vulnerable women. For example, the image of a submissive/masochist woman is glamorized. So it's very likely that's why some women are participating in BDSM. Rather than going to the DMs of those women, or trying to stop all of them, I think RF should simply spread the word about why this is a negative trend.

anxietyaccount8 · 2021-02-16T14:53:54+00:00

How much longer, until anything associated with feminism/women is considered TERF rhetoric?

anxietyaccount8 · 2020-12-27T18:44:29+00:00

Last week, a young man said he’d like to press my face against a window while performing sexual deeds

Who flirts that way, what the fuck

anxietyaccount8 · 2021-08-20T12:44:53+00:00

Go be a real porn star if you want to get paid otherwise go back to waiting tables.

You're probably joking, but please don't compliment any sex work.

anxietyaccount8 · 2021-06-01T20:13:21+00:00

You can look at sexuality in Roman history and see sexual practices we recognise today but interpreted in different ways.

The way that sexuality in ancient Rome was perceived is honestly not that different to how many men see it today in 2021. They still may think that giving pleasure to a woman is demeaning, and that being penetrated makes you "gayer" than the person doing the penetrating. I don't understand why people are so fascinated by sexuality in Ancient Rome/Greece. It's just sexist to me.

I'm generally looking at popular erotic culture. Yes I agree that is culturally dependent. Again don't blame me for what is popular erotic work with women.

See, I can only speak for my own self, but as a radfem and a straight woman, my own taste actually changed. All women are pretty much taught that men who are super dominant, rich, etc, are the most attractive. A lot of portrayals of these kinds of men are actually very unrealistic, for example books will show a man being sadistic and a literal rapist, but at the same time he will eventually love the woman protagonist. Sadistic men in real life don't tend to be so "perfect", obviously.

I guarantee you, the reason so many women like this sort of thing is simply because of societal influence.

Both the sexually dominant men aged 35-44 years and sexually submissive women aged 35-44 years perceived themselves as being more attractive.

This is just... isn't it SO obvious as to why that would be true?

anxietyaccount8 · 2021-04-03T19:38:50+00:00

It's already hard enough to get people to understand that women don't exist to be subservient and do whatever men want. With the normalization of sex work, it would be practically impossible.

anxietyaccount8 · 2020-11-02T02:00:02+00:00

Yes, this has been true for a while now. A lot of people who work in sexuality studies/sex ed have this one-dimensional view of "if it's kinkier, it's definitely better, no exceptions." The role of these educators is to present accurate information, and DIFFERENT views/perspectives, not just one...

(Oh and obviously, this mostly applies to adults, kids should not be taught about BDSM, wtf?)

anxietyaccount8 · 2021-07-16T00:52:06+00:00

Yeah, that's an extreme reaction but I guess they thought there's a lot of available men who have not seen porn before? Maybe in some older generations, but the young adults of Gen Z have no choice but to form a relationship with someone who's seen it. Even men in older generations have seen it too (according to statistics)

anxietyaccount8 · 2021-06-14T16:29:57+00:00

I understand your logic, it does seem like a lot of men and women don't even like each other. Gay couples and lesbian couples may have more in common with each other.

I knew I was straight when I was around 10/11. I see other women as being "too similar" to myself, which is a turn off. I have all their same parts. Most hetero people agree with this. That's why we're hetero. It's not "just conditioning".

I don't think the ideal relationship has to be gay, I can imagine a hetero relationship which is equal and very satisfactory. But it's hard to come by. And the mass media and porn have made things even worse. Many straight people just see "that's the man and that's the woman" instead of two human beings.

anxietyaccount8 · 2021-06-01T22:20:45+00:00

Couldn't you say that about anyone here though? It is niche to be a radical feminist or someone very invested in queer theory.

anxietyaccount8 · 2021-06-01T21:59:02+00:00

When you say you changed? What changed?

Mainly that I realized traits such as being compassionate were infinitely more important to making a good or attractive man, than what I was taught. People always said "a REAL man has to always take charge and be the perfect masculine example". But many men who are so hung up on their masculinity are misogynistic. So it changed my mind.

anxietyaccount8 · 2020-10-17T21:14:43+00:00

I really hope so, but I find it hard to predict the outcome of such an unusual trend.

anxietyaccount8 · 2020-08-22T18:46:17+00:00

I'm no expert, but tbh I don't think these evolutionary psych explanations of sexuality are all that accurate. Just because female sexuality can be diverse, doesn't mean it's "slippery".

Also, what's up with the people who think that men have a very rigid sexuality? Have they never seen porn before? Men can aroused by all kinds of fetishes, or develop different tastes over time, etc...

anxietyaccount8 · 2020-08-07T13:47:56+00:00

What the actual fuck? You guys should read this link, it has a longer definition: https://www.dictionary.com/e/gender-sexuality/terf/

anxietyaccount8 · 2021-06-01T22:09:48+00:00

Well in my perception it was radical because I held a more conservative viewpoint before.

anxietyaccount8 · 2021-06-01T20:39:50+00:00

elevated probability of being left-handed, suggesting that disturbed hemispheric brain lateralization

Wait, am I misunderstanding or does it call left-handed people disturbed?

OP, to answer your question there can be many reasons why people develop paraphilias, I think a lot of it is environmental. I also agree that men are more likely to have them, it could be linked to testosterone.

In the cases where somebody develops one before puberty, it seems that there must be a genetic component.

At the same time, don't trust these kinds of studies 100%. I have a digit ratio correlated with being a lesbian, yet am very much not one.

anxietyaccount8 · 2021-02-09T20:27:05+00:00

Is it really getting more acceptable to be a misogynist? I know that in some ways, it is. Modern leftists are obsessed with gender ideology and promoting sex work, and. But in other ways, (the OP was responding to that meme about Reddit), it's not as bad as before. Reddit has always been a horrible place for female users, but I think anti-feminist/conservative viewpoints are actually less prevalent than before...

anxietyaccount8 · 2021-05-05T19:02:50+00:00

Sometimes, I've seen TRAs talk about variations in sexuality and gender presentation that actually make a lot of sense. They say "of course a transwoman can be masculine, just like a cis woman can. Of course a transman can be feminine." But in reality, they don't practice what they preach. Many people don't seem to understand this nuance at all. They think that "women" are always completely comfortable being feminine and conforming. And "straight" just means boring.

On the subreddit r/GenderCynical, they occasionally call out GC people who just seem conservative and say "see? These so-called radfems support trad gender roles, but then they claim that we do that." But this is dishonest. They never take responsibility for their own movement making GNC people think they're trans.

And, if a trans person acts/dresses like their biological sex, why would they identify as trans in the first place? Well, maybe because they have body dysphoria. But the trans community isn't consistent with that either.

anxietyaccount8 · 2021-04-17T16:24:29+00:00

gay men are women/female brains in men's bodies

There are gay men who are totally masculine. I think the people who believe this think that all LGBT people are very GNC. Not always...

Also: "lesbians have male spirits", I mean it doesn't get sillier than this. An image of two women kissing each other is super manly, definitely.

Another reason that GCs don't like to say that, is that GC ideology came from radical feminism. We care about men and women, not "masculinity" and "femininity". What good does it do, for feminism, to say that masculine men and masculine women have more things in common than feminine women and masculine women? We promote female solidarity. I know that I personally have much more in common with a radfem (or any woman!) of ANY orientation than some random gay dude.

anxietyaccount8 · 2021-03-06T14:16:33+00:00

I just realized, aren't straight women supposed to like trans men? I've never heard someone mention that combination before!

anxietyaccount8 · 2020-10-03T14:46:14+00:00

This whole topic is ridiculous, because the issue of transgenderism (and especially things like non-binary identities and pronoun usage) has nothing to do with biology. There is nothing unusual about a man with gender dysphoria's biological sex, he simply wants to be a woman, even though he is male. And, trans activists don't even believe that you have to get surgery to transition to the opposite sex.

anxietyaccount8 · 2021-07-20T20:37:25+00:00

Any time a child is forced to become trans, that's abusive. I've heard of the case with John Money before. But I don't remember what it means to be "raised as a girl?"

GC and radfems would probably say, nobody should be raised "as a girl" because male and female children should not be raised according to wildly different values.

If these trans kids grow up and realize they are actually the opposite sex they thought they were, of course it could lead to an identity change or feeling resentment.

anxietyaccount8 · 2021-02-11T00:27:01+00:00

Yeah, on Twitter, some people had a problem with this article existing, if you can believe it. "What's the big deal, if they discuss kinks beforehand, isn't it a good thing? After all, now they know if they're compatible or not." Well, in some ways, it is a blessing that these men are making their preferences, um, heard loud and clear. But in others...is it really acceptable to say these things ON THE FIRST DATE? Is this supposed to be a replacement for romance or something?

Also, the fact that many are starting to see vanilla sex as something they're not interested in at all is kind of problematic. But many pro-kink people have no problem with that, in fact they think ideally everybody should be involved in BDSM. But they probably don't say that out loud...

anxietyaccount8 · 2021-02-09T20:45:44+00:00

Oh, I definitely agree that it's gotten worse when it comes to relationships. I am one of those younger women and...yeah...it's rough. Thanks for your perspective.

It's at least nice that people these days have the Internet, so they can learn all kinds of information. Women can learn about feminism any time they like, as long as they can access it.

anxietyaccount8 · 2021-01-04T15:39:52+00:00

They really think they're MORE progressive for increasing the expectations for all straight women to be super feminine...

anxietyaccount8 · 2020-10-20T18:58:52+00:00

He notes that many straight men fantasize about women who seem “to exist primarily to sexually service men and derive tremendous pleasure themselves from the effort to do so”.

Why did the author write this as if it's woke, LMAO...

Bader argues that these fantasies arouse men not because they facilitate misogyny but because they allow men to counter pervasive beliefs, “for example, that women don’t enjoy sex, don’t enjoy pleasing men, and easily feel disappointed or hurt by men pursuing their own interests”.

"When men have fantasies about female prostitutes, they're doing that because they support feminism so strongly." This shit is like parody.

anxietyaccount8 · 2021-09-28T23:53:15+00:00

This article mentions radical feminism (insultingly), but somewhat agrees that desire is conditioned.

I don't understand why so many people are now using dehumanizing language to talk about people who date ("value", "bodies", "flesh")

Consider the supreme fuckability of ‘hot blonde sluts’ and East Asian women

Everybody wants to be attractive, but is a woman being "extremely fuckable" a great thing? How? Porn stars and prostitutes are "fuckable", are they seen as high-status too?

anxietyaccount8 · 2021-09-05T03:22:35+00:00

That's right, a fetish is supposed to be about non-sexual body parts. So you can't have a "vagina fetish" if you're a lesbian, that doesn't really make sense. If lesbians are not comfortable with penises, that's just part of their sexual boundaries.

Is that it? Is that really the definition of fetish? To be aroused by something non-sexual or sexual?

No, there's just two meanings, one is more casual, and one is actually a condition where you don't get aroused without a specific non-sexual object

"Fetishization" is a word that is becoming overused in strange ways. It was used mainly in academic contexts when talking about racism. But now I wouldn't be surprised if someone said "threesomes fetishize bisexuality" or something

anxietyaccount8 · 2021-08-30T18:27:06+00:00

Well some straight women may just have a dominant/assertive personality which reads as "masculine", that's not acting.

anxietyaccount8 · 2021-07-23T13:19:45+00:00

Some people who are non-binary appear to barely have body dysphoria, unlike trans people. A lot of people are identifying as "non-binary" because they want to fit in and be special.

In online spaces it's common to see non-binary people blaming "cis straight women" for random problems. It's the new "not like the other girls."

On the BDSM subreddit, somebody non-binary said that she's fine with her male partner dominating her, but not with being called "a woman". I honestly never expected this misogyny would come from other females.

anxietyaccount8 · 2021-07-08T17:50:57+00:00

I think there are some who have said shocking or attention-seeking things (like those social media posters who go "sissy porn made me trans, and I know TERFs are pissed") but even they have their nuances.

I think the view "if a woman isn't submissive, sweet and feminine then she's abnormal/has a hormone imbalance/etc" is so extreme that most QT don't believe it. That's something that conservatives and "race realists" think. I've never seen someone QT in the old Reddit sub say that.

anxietyaccount8 · 2021-07-08T17:01:53+00:00

Absolutely not.

Neither GC nor QT traditionally thinks that.

anxietyaccount8 · 2021-06-03T15:35:14+00:00

I always felt like nature intended for me to be a lesbian, but wires got crossed somewhere. But my digit ratio doesn't really support that.

No offense but why say essentialist things like this? You can just appreciate your unique self.

There don't appear to be.

I highly doubt that men fetishizing women's clothing is something that Western men invented. Whether or not they actually crossdressed with them.

anxietyaccount8 · 2021-04-27T16:59:42+00:00

Okay, that makes sense!

anxietyaccount8 · 2021-04-27T16:55:18+00:00

What makes you say that?

anxietyaccount8 · 2021-04-06T22:40:45+00:00

It's shallow and misogynistic. Supposedly, women need to make every inch of their body perfect, all so that they can have different variations of the same exact face and the same "curvy yet skinny" body.

anxietyaccount8 · 2021-03-09T21:20:24+00:00

I think it's pretty odd that the meme got so popular, but I do like that people are talking about orientation as a topic because it seems like there's so much confusion these days...especially with young women...

anxietyaccount8