GC: What should the limits be on erotic consumption and sexual behavior?

submitted by worried19 from self.GCdebatesQT

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[–]anxietyaccount8 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Radfems agree that they would prefer if people did not contribute to porn/the sex industry. That's the #1 thing agreed on. Erotica is not necessarily connected to that industry.

I just had a run in with someone on Ovarit who appears to believe that if one has a partner who watches or has ever watched porn

That's very odd considering you can stop even if you watched it before. Also, how can you be anti-porn if you've never even seen it?

When it comes to discussion on kink, one person might see something as kink where another doesn't. Where is the line drawn? We don't need to decide for every individual person but I'd like to think feminism is about helping vulnerable women. For example, the image of a submissive/masochist woman is glamorized. So it's very likely that's why some women are participating in BDSM. Rather than going to the DMs of those women, or trying to stop all of them, I think RF should simply spread the word about why this is a negative trend.

[–]worried19[S] 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

The porn thing came about because another woman had a discussion with her male partner and told him that if he didn't stop watching porn, she was leaving. She was praised by some, but attacked by others for dating a man who watched porn in the first place.

I chimed in that I had not talked to my partner specifically about him quitting porn (and it's true, we have not talked about it in several years) and was immediately deluged by messages from two posters calling me a sellout and my partner vile, abusive, and misogynistic. I used to watch commercial porn myself. I realized it was ethically problematic and stopped, but I had not felt the need to demand the same from my partner. Apparently some believe I'm a traitor for not doing so.

[–]anxietyaccount8 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Yeah, that's an extreme reaction but I guess they thought there's a lot of available men who have not seen porn before? Maybe in some older generations, but the young adults of Gen Z have no choice but to form a relationship with someone who's seen it. Even men in older generations have seen it too (according to statistics)

[–]worried19[S] 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I would bet it's almost impossible to find a man under 30 who has never seen porn. The main thing for me is that my partner not be aroused by violence or abuse. We haven't talked about it in depth since we were 19, but he told me outright he doesn't like or watch that. I believe him. His history and behavior has always reflected that. Of course that doesn't mean that even "nice" commercial porn is ethical. That's why I quit. Going on a site like Pornhub supports a site that hosts abusive content even if you don't actually watch videos with abusive sex.