Announcement: new mod by BiologyIsReal in GCdebatesQT

[–]worried19 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

How do we get QT posters? I miss them. The sub is an echo chamber otherwise. We never had any lack of QT on Reddit, but it seems like so few of them are here. They're not even lurking, according to our demographics poll. There's got to be some way to recruit them to join.

Announcement: new mod by BiologyIsReal in GCdebatesQT

[–]worried19 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Welcome, u/beris! I don't think I've seen your posts before, but it's nice to meet you.

"FLEURISTA" presents: Thank You- A Retrospective of Commonality, Connection & Changing Minds (Art exhibition featuring GCdebatesQT) by Fleurista in GCdebatesQT

[–]worried19 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Oh, wow. I knew you were working on something, but I didn't realize it was this extensive. It looks really cool. Congratulations!

QT: Do you regret any part of your medical transition? by worried19 in GCdebatesQT

[–]worried19[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Do you think testosterone is generally harder on the body than estrogen for both males and females?

I know for sure it's worse for females, and evidence bears that out.

The litany of health problems suffered by those who represented the German Democratic Republic (GDR) in Cold War-era competitions was laid bare during the Berlin doping trials between 1998 and 2000 in reunified Germany. Hepatitis, heart disease, liver tumors, and liver cancer were among the consequences. Women who received injections or ingested synthetic testosterone also had physical side effects such as acne, deepened voices, excess growth of leg hair and pubic hair, and enlarged clitorises. Some female athletes gave birth to children with club feet or other defects.

https://globalsportmatters.com/health/2019/11/07/ex-east-german-athletes-struggle-with-health-problems-due-to-the-consequences-of-ped-taking

And then to see doctors casually putting 12 year olds on testosterone for life! It's insane. The negative health effects don't disappear just because the female person in question does not want to be female.

https://www.transadvocate.com/ask-matt-do-trans-men-die-young_n_8713.htm

The author of the above article was dead from heart failure a year after writing it. And Kailey was only on testosterone in adulthood, not since middle school or high school. Now that research is actively being suppressed, I fear we won't know the true outcome of transition for natal females for many more decades.

QT: Why should "gender identity" be enshrined in law when you can't even define it? by BiologyIsReal in GCdebatesQT

[–]worried19 5 insightful - 3 fun5 insightful - 2 fun6 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

We need more QT posters!

Look at our demographics poll:

http://www.polljunkie.com/poll/pfipfo/gcdebatesqt/view

Both: How do you feel about the terms "female man", "male man", "female woman", and "male woman"? by comradeconradical in GCdebatesQT

[–]worried19 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Too confusing, plus TRAs don't want compromise. It's their way or the highway. They don't want to hear "female men can get pregnant." They will only accept "men can get pregnant."

what is "social dysphoria"? by ywnbawfan2 in GCdebatesQT

[–]worried19 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I was never physically dysphoric, but I've experienced what I guess would be termed "social dysphoria" since I was 3 years old. I'd define it as intense distress over conforming to gendered norms. For example, a tomboy might hate wearing a dress. But a socially dysphoric girl would be distressed to the point of depression or suicidal feelings.

Both: What do you think of Gender Critical Coming Out Day? by worried19 in GCdebatesQT

[–]worried19[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I don't think I've ever used the term "gender critical" offline. Maybe I've mentioned it to my partner. My main issue is that it seems like these topics rarely come up in my daily life. My social circles are very un-woke, and so is my workplace. If I came out at work, I would only be stating what at least 90% of my coworkers also believe. I'm sure they believe it for religious or traditional reasons, not for feminist ones, but the end result is the same.

Both: What do you think of Gender Critical Coming Out Day? by worried19 in GCdebatesQT

[–]worried19[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Makes sense, especially if you have a very QT social circle.

Both: What do you think of Gender Critical Coming Out Day? by worried19 in GCdebatesQT

[–]worried19[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Damn, you know society is in a bad way when actual transsexuals are afraid to speak out for fear of getting cancelled.

I can understand, though. I wouldn't risk my job if I were in your position either.

Both: Where do you see the gender wars in 10 years? by worried19 in GCdebatesQT

[–]worried19[S] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Right, but I mean we aren't going to have police or security guards stationed at bathrooms. I just think this particular issue is a lost cause. Even if the GC side ends up winning overall, we may lose this particular fight.

Both: What do you think of Gender Critical Coming Out Day? by worried19 in GCdebatesQT

[–]worried19[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Have you thought about coming out on social media?

I think I might actually come out to my guy friend. J.K. Rowling is in the news again this week, so it seems like a good time to talk about her.

Both: What do you think of Gender Critical Coming Out Day? by worried19 in GCdebatesQT

[–]worried19[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

True. I hope anyone who comes out on social media is mindful of that.

I almost wish I had social media so I could come out there, but all I've got is here, Ovarit, and Reddit, and I'm already out on these platforms.

Both: What do you think of Gender Critical Coming Out Day? by worried19 in GCdebatesQT

[–]worried19[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

What about wearing a gender critical symbol or posting something that is subtly GC on social media?

QT: Do you regret any part of your medical transition? by worried19 in GCdebatesQT

[–]worried19[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Thanks for all the information. From what I've gathered, it's much more dangerous for natal females to be on testosterone vs. natal males to be on estrogen, so perhaps that's why they don't monitor you quite as closely. I hope everything stays stable for you as far as that's concerned.

QT: Do you regret any part of your medical transition? by worried19 in GCdebatesQT

[–]worried19[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I know GC people spread around horror stories of trans men's bones dissolving and testosterone putting them in wheelchairs,

I was thinking more of cancer and vaginal and uterine atrophy. I think the bone density problem is more of an issue with kids who have been on puberty blockers or people who have no estrogen production at all. I certainly hope you remain healthy, and I'm glad doctors are monitoring you. Do they just watch your testosterone levels, or are there other tests? How do you know if there's a problem developing with your uterus?

I don't consider transitioning to be anything close to "what society want", it's pretty obvious that I'd be treated better and respected more if I had not transitioned

Really? Surely you must pass 100% as a guy. I wish I could. I know I'd be treated a million times better by society. As it is, I pass as a guy only if people aren't looking too closely, and then when they realize I'm female I'm looked as some kind of GNC freak. I wish I could blend in, but that's obviously not in the cards. Do you really not think you have male-passing privilege?

GC people would stop calling me delusional and perverted

Well, I don't think you're delusional. You can certainly make your own choices in life, and you obviously are aware you were born female and don't deny it. Plus natal female people are very unlikely to be transitioning for sexual reasons, so you certainly aren't a pervert. I don't think GC people would say you were? They tend to reserve that for those they consider autogynephiles.

QT: Do you regret any part of your medical transition? by worried19 in GCdebatesQT

[–]worried19[S] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I don't hate them "because" they're breasts, I just hate the way they feel and look on my own body. Not just because people were focusing on a very "female" feature when they focus on them, but also because they were uncomfortable and I didn't like they way the looked or felt.

But surely that's connected with them being a female secondary sex characteristic, given the other steps you've taken to transition? Most natal female people if they have large, uncomfortable breasts have a breast reduction, they don't remove them from their body entirely.

I don't personally have a lot of personal investment in the sanctity of the "natural human body".

Not everyone does, of course. I don't think I have that much personal investment in it. But at the same time, human bodies are not like legos. You can't just break off pieces willy nilly. There should be some ethical and health consideration for what you're doing. Not saying a double mastectomy is definitely off limits. Some women have them to reduce the risk of breast cancer, like Angelina Jolie did. In the end, adults can make their own decisions, but I also think the medical establishment should adhere to certain standards.

Both: What do you think of Gender Critical Coming Out Day? by worried19 in GCdebatesQT

[–]worried19[S] 7 insightful - 2 fun7 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

I think it's a good idea, although it's already apparent that the mainstream media wants to twist it into something negative.

Not sure if I'm planning to come out to anyone, although I guess this would be a good day to find out where my gay guy friend stands on the issue.

Both: Do you believe there are sexual components to masculinity and femininity? by worried19 in GCdebatesQT

[–]worried19[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Ha, 4 months late, but I'm finally responding.

I don’t see this as thinking the female sex is inferior. Aggression does not mean better.

If one sex is aggressive towards the other sex, and that sex is presumed to enjoy being subordinate to them, that's inferiority. I don't see any way around that.

Women's Sexual Fantasies – The Latest Scientific Research

What do I make of this? Trauma from patriarchy, porn, physical abuse, sexual abuse, and childhood or adolescent exposure to inappropriate media.

Everything that is natural is not necessarily a moral good. I think that’s one of my starting points.

Sure, we would both agree on that. I just disagree that it is in any way natural for girls and women to want to be dominated and abused.

Specifically the straight crossdresser community is very thin. The community is very androphilic. It is often very based around sex with men and other gnc men. That’s super awkward as a straight man not attracted to other crossdressers. Online I got a lot of attention from men, even after saying I’m straight. There are a lot of assumptions. There can be an assumption that a straight crossdresser is a liar. Back to that pattern of gnc men being either gay or perverts.

Huh, that's interesting. Do you think the straight crossdresser community has been adversely affected by the increasing popularity of transition? I was under the impression the majority of crossdressers were straight, while most drag queens were gay. But maybe crossdressers have fallen by the wayside. Like Eddie Izzard. He used to be just a regular transvestite. Now he says he's trans.

There is a common refrain of “don’t let your crossdressing/sexuality” become your whole identity and I can see the good reasons and logic for that. But then you suppress and end up being a person that “springs” it on others. You drift into the closet only to find yourself around people who are not accepting. I realise now I ought to have placed it more central to my life. I accepted it when I was very young but that acceptance became internal and not external enough.

Do you think you would prefer a world where you could crossdress 24/7 and have it be totally accepted? Or do you prefer it only coming out in certain scenarios that you are able to preselect for? It sounds like it's more than a casual thing for you, but society doesn't allow you to express it.

Where I do find it more acceptable is the kink community, the fetish clubs. That is where crossdressing is more than tolerated, a straight crossdresser has a place not as part of gay culture but as a person outside sexual norms. There are also women there who appreciate gender non conformity in men and relationships.

I can see that. I have a hard time thinking about fetish clubs without feeling a sense of terror about the people involved in them. But I suppose for those who feel cast out from regular society, it would feel more like a refuge.

There are certainly women there who are dressing for sex in a way that turns themselves on.

Uh, I would assume so, since it's a fetish club. If they've got a fetish for leather or latex or something, dressing like that in a sexual environment would turn them on. That's why they go there in the first place.

Well obviously I think a “failed woman” is the wrong way of looking at it. I’d see you as embracing masculinity. That does not mean you need to embrace a transman identity. But that does not mean you can disconnect masculinity from men.

I don't see why not. Masculine women have a long history. There have always been women who preferred to "live like men." There would be more of them, I believe, if femininity was not forced on girls so heavily. You have to be strong and unusual to reject femininity as an adult woman, however tolerant society is (or was) about prepubescent tomboys.

But their gender expression is connected to their sexuality? There has to be some relationship.

Not everyone has a fetish like you do. A butch lesbian woman can dress in men's clothes without it being sexual for her. As for why she's butch, you'd have to ask her. I wouldn't speak on a lesbian's behalf. All I can say is that my gender expression is not connected to my sexuality, as far as I can tell.

But a lot of this is super common. The bdsm scene in my opinion is people theatrically expressing extremes forms of this.

Right, but if someone is unable to be aroused without imagining BDSM, that's a fetish. BDSM was never considered standard. Most people, even if they have "kinks," can still enjoy vanilla sex.

I just like female appreciation of my expression. It puts me in the mood and puts the right woman in the mood.

So it's the anticipation of being seen and appreciated by women that is the draw? It doesn't sound like it's a non-sexual activity for you then. Would you go to a park wearing like a sundress even if you knew there would not be any women there to admire you in it? Have you ever been dressed in women's clothing in public and not felt even partially aroused by the possibility? No judgment here, by the way. I'm just curious.

Really that’s what a lot of gender expression is about IMHO.

Uh, beg to disagree. Most women and men are not aroused by wearing ordinary clothing regardless of their orientation.

I don’t think you’re getting how harsh men are policed on gender.

No, I get it. But it's possible to find spaces that are more open. Especially in this day and age, right? Trans women walk right down the street in most cities and towns and no one accosts them.

Even small things will be judged by even liberal people. Tolerance does not mean people don’t act on it.

Sure, but who cares if they judge? I know people judge me. As long as they're not assaulting me, they can think what they want.

A man has to constantly police himself, especially a straight man.

People on the street don't know if you're gay or straight, transgender or simply a crossdresser. If a trans woman can be herself in public, why can't you? Do you think maybe you're held back by fear of social disapproval?

I have had women grab me at times. Pinch my bum, hand down my trousers.

Right, and it's a normal thing for a woman to grab a guy's ass or grab his junk. In a consensual context, of course. It's not some weird thing. You may think women do it less often, but they still do it.

Though growing up I did lack the PIV obsession that seemed to be the norm and expected from me as a boy. I wasn’t obsessed with sticking it in. Is that relevant? I still don’t know. All part of the unusual sexual behaviour.

Most guys are obsessed with sticking it in any available orifice, it seems. But you do enjoy PIV? It's not like you won't use your penis during sex?

But the women who are sexually passive?

I believe very few women are so passive that all they want to do is lie there. But even if they do, they're still enjoying stuff like intimacy, caressing, kissing, touching, and the physical sensations of sex.

By being with you he is experiencing something statistically unusual.

Sure, but do you think he's not a normal man in a sexual sense? I've asked him about this myself, actually, since I used to be so worried he would be judged negatively because of me. He says the way he sees it is that I'm a woman and he's a man and anyone who has a problem with that is just ignorant. I believe him. He's never shown any hesitance about us. I was always the one worried about what people would think.

You both sound active.

I'd say so.

I’d add rarely initiating sex but expecting it, is passive. As if initiating it, is a turn off, at the same time being annoyed if the other person does not initiate it.

Yeah, that's definitely neither of us.

I know I respond more to active pursuit than my active pursuit. It took me some time to realise this. Just not being wired the same way as the average straight man.

You like being seduced, I guess. Eh, I don't think there's anything wrong with that. But at the same time, I don't get playing elaborate games. Like if I want sex, I'm not going to wait around for my partner to mention it.

That’s a wider point I’d make. I do see trans identities. I do see elements of myself as more accepted as female. But after looking a long time at the subject I remain seeing myself as a man. I don’t see myself as a woman sexually. I see myself as a crossdresser sexually. That is who I identify with no matter how good or bad that figure is. I can’t escape that.

Well, that's fair. I don't see any reason for you not to be a crossdresser. You're not negatively affecting anyone else. You're involving consenting partners. I don't think any BDSM-related stuff is healthy, but it doesn't sound like you go overboard with it. And you recognize biological reality. You're a man, even if you consider yourself a sexually unusual one.

Both: Where do you see the gender wars in 10 years? by worried19 in GCdebatesQT

[–]worried19[S] 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

In 2031, I believe that the backlash resulting from affirmation only policies will have effectively ended medical child transition. I think there will probably be some holdouts who socially transition their children, but it will be much harder to put children on puberty blockers or cross-sex hormones or perform surgeries on them. I pray that will be the case. I also believe that the wave of ROGD will end and we will go back to at least pre-2015 levels of female transitioners.

I'm not sure what will happen with the rest of the issues, but I do believe trying to integrate natal males into women's sports and women's prisons will have turned out to be an untenable position. I believe organizations may develop workarounds, such as all trans wings in female prisons, or trans sports leagues. The bathroom issue I believe is long lost. There is simply no way to effectively police that. I believe it will end up in trans activists' favor.

QT: Do you regret any part of your medical transition? by worried19 in GCdebatesQT

[–]worried19[S] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

For me, there is no "reconciliation", there is no time I wanted my breasts. I remember wanting to scrape them off with a wood rasp from the moment they grew in 20+ years ago.

I never wanted mine either. I think a lot of people don't. But they just grew there, and after a period of alarm, I got used to them. There really wasn't any choice. Do you think there was ever a chance you could have become reconciled to them? Like if you'd been alone on a desert island, do you think your breasts would still have been a cause for hatred? I wonder about the origins of intense dysphoria.

QT: Do you regret any part of your medical transition? by worried19 in GCdebatesQT

[–]worried19[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I'm glad you don't regret it. I assume you're also on testosterone? Have you had any complications from that? Do doctors have to monitor you pretty closely? Feel free not to answer if any of my questions are too personal.

I don't know if it's just a natural body mapping since we don't really have a lot of articulation/use of that area, so there isn't much sensory change to adjust to

I've heard that a lot of people come away from that surgery with no sensation, like their entire chest is just numb or a dead zone. Do you still have sensation in your chest and your nipples?

I was always extremely GNC and bisexual (it felt, for me, all connected - I didn't know why bodies had to be man/woman, why sexuality had to be oriented to man/woman, why my clothes and hair and presentation had to be man/woman ect. The more "pick and mix" I could be, the happier I was.)

I struggle to understand it also as a GNC person. I just consider my body my body. It's the one I got born with. But I don't feel like I have to align my body with what society wants. Surprisingly, for whatever reason, I have never hated my body. I suppose my rage was directed outward.

QT: Do you regret any part of your medical transition? by worried19 in GCdebatesQT

[–]worried19[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing. I'm definitely glad you have not suffered complications from the surgery and that you don't regret undergoing it.

I'm also curious about the estrogen. Have you had any negative health problems from that over the years? Do doctors monitor you pretty closely for life for potential complications, or is it more "hands off" after a certain period of time?

QT: Do you regret any part of your medical transition? by worried19 in GCdebatesQT

[–]worried19[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

That puts you in a very rare category. Metoidioplasty or phalloplasty? I'm glad you have no regrets. Have you suffered any negative health effects from the testosterone or surgeries? I've heard those genital surgeries in particular are prone to complications.

I heard Kathleen Stock on the radio saying she had an affinity with the masculine. What did she mean by this? by theory_of_this in GCdebatesQT

[–]worried19 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

The cultural stereotypes associated with men, I would assume. What's considered masculine style, masculine hobbies, etc.

She's a gender critical radical feminist, so she obviously must believe it to be independent of sex.

"Transgender day of rememberence" with Biden involved. F you Biden, and f your she-her VP. by WrongToy in GenderCritical

[–]worried19 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Well, to each their own.

"Transgender day of rememberence" with Biden involved. F you Biden, and f your she-her VP. by WrongToy in GenderCritical

[–]worried19 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

That seems very cruel to me. Suicide is a murder of sorts, of one's self, and it leaves behind other victims, not just the person in pain.

"Transgender day of rememberence" with Biden involved. F you Biden, and f your she-her VP. by WrongToy in GenderCritical

[–]worried19 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Same here. This is actually the one trans day I don't mind. Let's keep Transgender Day of Remembrance and get rid of the dozens of other pointless awareness days.

I just wish TRAs would be honest about things. Their credibility is near zero at this point. It's tough to have sympathy when you can't trust anything these activists say.

"Transgender day of rememberence" with Biden involved. F you Biden, and f your she-her VP. by WrongToy in GenderCritical

[–]worried19 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Uh, speak for yourself. I'm not celebrating anyone's death. The TRA movement is toxic, but I don't wish death on any trans people. This kind of rhetoric can only harm our cause.

Tra/qt how is ‘examine your genital preference’ not homosexual conversion therapy? by Houseplant in GCdebatesQT

[–]worried19 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I think we might both agree that trans women are not "social men," but they are still biologically male, and in the vast majority of cases, it's possible to tell that just by looking at them.

GC: What do you think about the concept of peaking people? by worried19 in GCdebatesQT

[–]worried19[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Not yet. I probably should. Maybe next time I see him.

Portrait of a Detransitioner as a Young Woman by worried19 in detrans

[–]worried19[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Archive link for anyone hitting the paywall.

GC: What do you think about the concept of peaking people? by worried19 in GCdebatesQT

[–]worried19[S] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah, I'm one of them. I'm pretty sure I would have stayed QT if they hadn't decided to go off the deep end.

Both: How would you define my sexual orientation? by theytookourjerbs in GCdebatesQT

[–]worried19 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Since it seems like you have zero attraction to natal males, I'd classify you as a lesbian.

GC: What do you think about the concept of peaking people? by worried19 in GCdebatesQT

[–]worried19[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

That's a good idea. He's not into mystery novels, so I was thinking about asking him about The Ickabog.

Everything else! by loveSloane in GCdebatesQT

[–]worried19 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Hey, congrats on the new baby. That's exciting.

What’s everyone watching, reading, listening to?

Rereading the Malazan Book of the Fallen series by Steven Erikson. Watching various movies on Netflix. Outlaw King was pretty good.

What’s a positive new thing happening in your life?

Eh, I'm not sure. I still feel weird from the pandemic. Like it's just dragging on forever and life is completely off track in some fundamental way. I can't adjust to this being the new normal. I started feeling better in May when things were starting to reopen and then Delta hit and everything is awful again. Is it possible to be traumatized from all this? I feel like it's going to be hard to ever get over. Which makes me feel stupid because it's not like I know anyone who has died.

GC: What do you think about the concept of peaking people? by worried19 in GCdebatesQT

[–]worried19[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I'm sure you have peaked some people through your YouTube channel! I wish I was brave enough to have one. But I like my privacy too much.

To peak QT-leaning people, I'm not sure what that takes--perhaps something more drastic?

I think they need to be shown that there are concrete harms.

GC: What do you think about the concept of peaking people? by worried19 in GCdebatesQT

[–]worried19[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Since most of your friends and family members aren't in tune with this stuff, which position do you think they would all lean?

Speaking of my immediate family, parents and siblings, I think they'd lean to the GC side. I can't imagine anyone in my family ever agreeing with things like child transition or natal males in women's prisons. But they might be more supportive on issues like public restrooms. I think right now they're just uninformed. There's no way my parents are in tune with trans topics, and my brother and sister have never mentioned it either. I'm sure they know it exists, but that it's somewhere "out there." Much like how I used to be before I really started looking into it. If anyone was going to go the TRA side, it would probably be my little sister since she's more sensitive.

Do you think that if your family were to be introduced to this stuff that they might encourage you to transition or try to convince you that you're trans?

Definitely not. I'm their daughter/sister. I know my parents assumed I was gay (before I came home with a male partner), but I don't know if it ever occurred to them that I would be trans. They met my partner in 2015 so it's obvious now that I'm not a lesbian, and I think the concept of being a gay trans man would not be on their radar at all. It's just too unusual, along with identities like non-binary.

If he's wearing Harry Potter t-shirts then I would imagine he isn't too invested in trans and QT beliefs, or at least associating with those communities or too many of those kinds of people. What do you think you would say/do to try to peak him?

Yeah, I was thinking if he was a TRA, he would have either stopped wearing or showing his Harry Potter merchandise or at least distanced himself from Rowling. I don't think he's really in the "queer" community. He had a boyfriend for a short time who he met online and has been single the rest of the time I've known him. But he's not involved in any community or activist groups. If I were going to peak him, I'd bring up Rowling. Seems like the easiest way in. I'd ask him what he thinks about her or if he knows that she's now controversial.

GC: What do you think about the concept of peaking people? by worried19 in GCdebatesQT

[–]worried19[S] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I didn't mean anything negative by it. Maybe "convert" was a poor choice of words. Unless someone is already a TRA, they don't have to be converted. Or I guess deconverted since no one starts off a TRA.

GC: What do you think about the concept of peaking people? by worried19 in GCdebatesQT

[–]worried19[S] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I have not yet peaked anyone except for my partner. And even with him, it wasn't like he changed his mind. He's a tolerant person, of course, but he was never a TRA.

I don't have any particular objection to the idea, but the majority of my friends and family members are just not in tune with this stuff. I think it would be weird to bring it up with them. I don't like the idea of gender ideology intruding into my family life in particular. My family knows me as female and to my knowledge, they have never doubted that.

I do have one gay male friend that I'm curious about. He's never mentioned trans issues to me, but I haven't brought it up because I don't know what he would say. I don't think he's woke. For what it's worth, he's a Harry Potter fan and hasn't thrown away his shirts or other merchandise and has never brought up J.K. Rowling. I'd be interested to get other people's thoughts. Should I try to find out his stance? Should I try to peak him?

Both: Do you believe there are sexual components to masculinity and femininity? by worried19 in GCdebatesQT

[–]worried19[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

God, I knew it had been a while since you posted this, but I didn't realize it was two months. Just FYI, I haven't forgotten our conversation. Still planning to reply as soon as I've got some time.

Meta: Moderation and the rules by circlingmyownvoid2 in GCdebatesQT

[–]worried19 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I haven't read the whole exchange, but not cool. We have these rules in place so that our trans members feel welcome to participate. I don't think it's too much to ask to refrain from calling specific members "a man" or " a woman" if they are trans.

GC: Are men entitled to male-only spaces? by womanual in GCdebatesQT

[–]worried19 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I'm sure you'd get a lot of "why would they," but I don't think you'd get very many saying "no."

However, since I don't have an actual study comprised of men's responses to show as proof, I agree it's conjecture. Understand I'm not saying you should have to use a men's restroom, only that you are entitled to. I can completely understand why you would not want to.

GC: Are men entitled to male-only spaces? by womanual in GCdebatesQT

[–]worried19 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Almost all men are not going to be the ones attacking you. If you ask them, "do you think a natal male is entitled to be in a men's restroom?" overwhelmingly they would say "yes."

You would be entitled to be there because it's a place for natal male people, regardless of how gender nonconforming they are.

GC: Are men entitled to male-only spaces? by womanual in GCdebatesQT

[–]worried19 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I think almost all of them would say you're entitled to be there, but I also don't think your concern for your safety is unwarranted. That's why I support third spaces.

GC: Are men entitled to male-only spaces? by womanual in GCdebatesQT

[–]worried19 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Do you think the vast majority of men would say you're not entitled to use the men's restroom?

GC: Are men entitled to male-only spaces? by womanual in GCdebatesQT

[–]worried19 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I don't think the vast majority of men care. But if these are male spaces, then all natal males have a right to go in. I doubt trans women would want to, though.

GC: Are men entitled to male-only spaces? by womanual in GCdebatesQT

[–]worried19 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I don't agree with that at all. If it's their space, they're entitled to have a say in who is allowed to enter.

GC: Are men entitled to male-only spaces? by womanual in GCdebatesQT

[–]worried19 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I think it's fine for men to have strict sex-segregated spaces. I admit I do often use men's restrooms and have ever since I was a little kid, but I wouldn't use them if men had a problem with it. As it is, I've only ever had trouble in women's restrooms, not men's.

Q-Force: A review by ArthnoldManacatsaman in LGBDropTheT

[–]worried19 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

She is a butch lesbian, very happily married to another butch lesbian

Does anyone expect this to last? I know it's a cartoon, but GNC women have a horrible record of getting transitioned in virtually all media these days.

Both: What do you think about the arrest in the Wi Spa transgender incident? by worried19 in GCdebatesQT

[–]worried19[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I don't think we know. There are only two pictures online, no video.

Let's vote on Language by Porcelain_Quetzal in GCdebatesQT

[–]worried19 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Generally.

Although I think there's a difference between simply talking about terms and calling other people those terms.

Both: What do you think about the arrest in the Wi Spa transgender incident? by worried19 in GCdebatesQT

[–]worried19[S] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I was specifically referring only to "old-school transsexuals with genital dysphoria." The rest are either trenders or fetishists.

Both: What do you think about the arrest in the Wi Spa transgender incident? by worried19 in GCdebatesQT

[–]worried19[S] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Both: What do you think about the arrest in the Wi Spa transgender incident? by worried19 in GCdebatesQT

[–]worried19[S] 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I thought for sure Slate would ignore it, but apparently not. Evan Urquhart was throwing a fit about having to print a retraction:

https://twitter.com/e_urq/status/1433537047931797514

But ended up limiting their Twitter after receiving negative feedback. I'm guessing if it were up to Urquhart, no changes would be made at all.

Both: What do you think about the arrest in the Wi Spa transgender incident? by worried19 in GCdebatesQT

[–]worried19[S] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I mean people like peaking and Fleurista and Barbie. True, I am relying on their own reports, but I trust them. They're not the sum total of trans women, I know that, but I do believe transsexuals like this still exist in significant numbers.

Both: What do you think about the arrest in the Wi Spa transgender incident? by worried19 in GCdebatesQT

[–]worried19[S] 13 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 0 fun14 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Not remotely surprised. I knew right away this must have been a bad actor. An actual old-school transsexual with genital dysphoria would never be parading around fully nude in the women's section of a spa. At best, it was going to be someone oblivious and entitled with no dysphoria, and at worst it was going to be a sex offender. I'm definitely not shocked it is a sex offender, nor do I think it's possible to prevent people like Merager from taking advantage of self ID.

What really bothers me is the number of people who attacked the women and girls who were the victims of this incident, going so far as to claim that the whole incident was a transphobic hoax made up for the cameras. Others claimed they were unfairly persecuting some unsuspecting trans woman. I wonder how many of those people, including journalists at magazines like Slate, will even bother to print a retraction. Maybe they'll even double down and insist the person with a long history of sex offenses is innocent after all. That wouldn't surprise me. More likely they'll just ignore it and hope the public forgets. They don't seem to want to acknowledge anything that goes against their narrative.

Everything Else, 14/08/2021 by Fleurista in GCdebatesQT

[–]worried19 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Oh cool, yeah, I remember both of your old names.

This place is smaller and a little more chill. Missi's not here on this sub, at least as far as I know. She was certainly one of our more vehement posters.

Everything else, 31/8/2021 by BiologyIsReal in GCdebatesQT

[–]worried19 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Scary shit. This should be the big moment for the Supreme Court to step in.

Everything else, 31/8/2021 by BiologyIsReal in GCdebatesQT

[–]worried19 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

You guys are still in lockdown? I'm weary of COVID, but it would be even worse if we had lockdowns here.

They reinstated masks in my workplace because people couldn't be trusted on their vaccination status and also because of Delta, but otherwise we have plenty of freedom.

What’s something y’all would want for Christmas?

Always a tough question. I prefer having experiences to acquiring more physical stuff. I hate clutter.

Both:What's with all the disappearing threads that didn't go as OPs who are QT expected? by MarkTwainiac in GCdebatesQT

[–]worried19 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It's for discussion, too, not just debate! This is such a small sub as it is, and I personally am happy to have any QT participation.

Both:What's with all the disappearing threads that didn't go as OPs who are QT expected? by MarkTwainiac in GCdebatesQT

[–]worried19 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

For GC: what makes someone trans? by [deleted] in GCdebatesQT

[–]worried19 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

True, there have always been autogynephiles, but there used to be stricter gatekeeping. They had to at least convince psychiatrists that hormones and surgery were necessary. If a transsexual didn't have surgery, they couldn't legally change sex. Heterosexual men who loved their penises and wanted to keep them became transvestites, not transsexuals.

The common perception of transsexuals is that they are still made up primarily of extremely effeminate homosexuals who have too much physical and social distress to live as male in society. That's part of the reason we're in this current mess. The general public doesn't realize that the demographic has shifted. They have no idea "transbians" are even a thing.

For GC: what makes someone trans? by [deleted] in GCdebatesQT

[–]worried19 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I believe the current definition is too broad.

To me, "trans" is what old-school transsexuals used to experience. Severe, debilitating sex and genital dysphoria that starts in early childhood and persists through adolescence and into mature adulthood. The kind that is resistant to all forms of therapeutic treatment.

Court Awards Full Custody to James Younger’s Mother but Requires Permission for Puberty Blockers, Gender Surgeries - potential child-transing case study by reluctant_commenter in LGBDropTheT

[–]worried19 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Blaire White also did a great video on this case:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jnzukbQDpSI

That video of James is so disturbing. He says not once, but twice that his mother tells him he's a girl.

For people who think bathrooms should be segregated by birth sex, are passing trans men entitled to use the women's bathroom? by [deleted] in GCdebatesQT

[–]worried19 4 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

I agree that if someone appears to be a biological male due to testosterone use, the situation may occasionally be awkward and require further explanation. I've never taken hormones, but it's my choice to have short hair and dress in men's clothes. I realize people might not immediately recognize that I'm female as a result. I just want detransitioned women to feel that female spaces are still for them.

Everything Else, 14/08/2021 by Fleurista in GCdebatesQT

[–]worried19 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Hey, welcome! I'm also from the old debate sub. Did you have a different name there? I don't recognize your handle. I'm always happy to see more QT people.

Awards Shows by loveSloane in GCdebatesQT

[–]worried19 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Is it just that they're non-passing, or did you think the actors themselves took it as a joke?

How can you tell if someone is expressing their actual gender identity? by Fleurista in GCdebatesQT

[–]worried19 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I assume very few people are pretending about their gender identity for kicks. I think the vast majority honestly believe it (or want to believe it), but what they're feeling is merely an emotion. It's a subjective experience, not an objective one. I do believe that many if not most people who claim a gender identity in our current society (especially natal females) are reacting to the culture, not reacting to anything they were born with or that is intrinsic to them as a human being. Most of their distress is social and cultural, not biological in nature.

Everything Else, 14/08/2021 by Fleurista in GCdebatesQT

[–]worried19 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Oh, I didn't know you had a substack. I'll check that out.

Awards Shows by loveSloane in GCdebatesQT

[–]worried19 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Have you seen bad portrayals? I keep meaning to watch The Danish Girl on Netflix, but I heard Eddie Redmayne did a good job in that role.

For people who think bathrooms should be segregated by birth sex, are passing trans men entitled to use the women's bathroom? by [deleted] in GCdebatesQT

[–]worried19 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

But what about detransitioners? They shouldn't be exiled from female spaces for a mistake that they made in the past. In some cases, it was not even their choice. Some of them were transitioned as minors before they could give meaningful consent.

For people who think bathrooms should be segregated by birth sex, are passing trans men entitled to use the women's bathroom? by [deleted] in GCdebatesQT

[–]worried19 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

They're entitled to, but I'm not sure that they would want to.

But I don't have a strong position on public restrooms. I personally use the men's quite often because I'm GNC and huge and easily mistaken for a dude at first glance, so a lot of the time it just seems like the easier choice. I've never been confronted in the men's room, but I have in the women's, even though I'm entitled to be there as a natal female. Ideally, gender-neutral third spaces would be preferable for those of us who might not feel comfortable or safe in the spaces that align with our biological sex.

Everything Else, 14/08/2021 by Fleurista in GCdebatesQT

[–]worried19 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Hey, I'm good. Just going along like normal. I may be heading to my family's vacation cabin again over Labor Day weekend, so that promises to be fun.

Congrats on your move and the art installation. That sounds cool, maybe we can see the finished product on your YouTube channel when it's done?

Awards Shows by loveSloane in GCdebatesQT

[–]worried19 3 insightful - 3 fun3 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

Sure, but there's no evidence it was a fantasy world. Anyway, that's getting a little far afield. I think your original comment was that Hollywood won't give trans women those roles. It seems to be changing, which is a good thing. I don't mind trans women playing non-trans roles, or vice versa either. Acting is acting.

Are you religious? by [deleted] in GCdebatesQT

[–]worried19 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

  1. Nah, I'm apathetic about religion.
  2. I was raised evangelical, but was never a true believer. I mostly just did whatever adults told me, but I didn't have a strong faith of my own.
  3. Somewhat. I was raised with the idea that God doesn't make junk, and that your body is a temple of God. Even if you don't believe in God, I still believe it's important to honor and respect your body and the bodies of others. I don't think people should mess with nature/evolution if they can help it.
  4. Definitely. Gender ideology is very much like a religious belief to me. I don't believe that special "gender souls" exist in objective reality, no matter how much certain people might say they feel them. It's a subjective experience, not an objective one. And I think with me being generally resistant to religion, that lessens my ability to believe the gender stuff.

Awards Shows by loveSloane in GCdebatesQT

[–]worried19 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

If it’s not discussed it is possible. Lilly Elbe in the 30’s. Jorgensen in the 50’s. Unlikely certainly but not impossible. You assume the character isn’t trans.

Circling, a non-passing transsexual would never have been hired in a job of that type back in the 1960s. It's simply not possible due to the extreme prejudice they faced at the time. This character worked with children. If a known homosexual would have been roundly dismissed from most jobs (but especially a job working with children), the response for a transsexual would have been equally as harsh if not harsher. They would never have gotten the job at all. Out of everyone here, I find it surprising you'd downplay the struggles such individuals faced.

Awards Shows by loveSloane in GCdebatesQT

[–]worried19 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yes though they won’t let them.

I can think of two recent examples. There was a trans woman who played a natal woman in The Queen's Gambit. And Patti Harrison is a trans woman who just had a starring role as a natal woman in a movie called Together, Together.

Awards Shows by loveSloane in GCdebatesQT

[–]worried19 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

There are more pressing concerns for me than who gets nominated in which category for awards shows.

Do you think trans actors should be able to play characters who aren’t trans (but are the opposite sex)? Do you think actors who aren’t trans should be able to play trans characters?

Sure, I don't have an issue. It's called acting for a reason. As long as the actor is convincing in the role, there's no problem.

QT, if gender is innate to identity by Houseplant in GCdebatesQT

[–]worried19 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Oh, great. Looks like we lost our only new QT poster and they deleted all their messages.

QT, if gender is innate to identity by Houseplant in GCdebatesQT

[–]worried19 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

This is directed primarily at u/moremoss, but any QT person can answer. I'm so happy we actually have QT people here for a change to talk with. Please know that I am 100% invested in good faith debate.

The way I understand things, in the QT worldview, we have biological sex (consisting of chromosomes and reproductive systems and genitalia) and then we also have gender identity. Please let me know if I'm getting any of this wrong. In the QT view, "gender identity" means having a personal sense of being a man or a woman. It is not understanding sex factually. For example, a trans man or non-binary OFAB person might say "I know I was born with certain parts, but regardless, I am not a woman." So it's not a lack of understanding of the biological reality of things. They know what genitals they were born with, obviously, and most acknowledge that that makes them part of the female sex category.

This is in contrast to GC people, who go off biological sex alone without taking into account personal feelings about being male or female. QT proposes that it is possible to not be a man or woman based purely on the "personal sense" of not being one. So an OFAB person can say, "Hey, this whole woman business does not resonate with me. I don't feel like that's what I am. I don't think that's what I was meant to be," and then the rest of QT believes that just the statement alone makes that person no longer female.

So for example, if I woke up tomorrow and said I was a trans man (which is not outside the realm of possibility for someone like me), then that would make me automatically no longer female and no longer a woman because it's based on my personal sense. I guess I just find it confusing how mere words can have so much power. It seems very much like a metaphysical or spiritual belief. I grew up somewhere where people talked a lot about getting "saved." When you were saved, you were born again and no longer what you were before. It feels very much like that to me, like a religious belief. I'm not knocking religion. It works for many people. But it doesn't make sense for outside people to believe the same things about that religion.

I guess I just question what makes other OFAB people so different from me. I'm talking about natal females because that's obviously my sole experience. We're all born with these certain body parts and society tries to socialize us a certain way because of them. More or less successfully, depending on the person. I, for one, rejected female socialization entirely and grew up more like a "trans boy" (in modern parlance), but I was a child before kids were commonly considered transgender. So what makes me different from a non-binary OFAB person or a trans man, really, if it's not based on bodily dysphoria or medical transition? The way I see it, we're psychologically identical. Neither of us "feels" like women. We don't have that "personal sense." So why are they not women and I am one?

Both: Are sexual stereotypes about men and women in the bedroom true? by worried19 in GCdebatesQT

[–]worried19[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Do you think it's related to some sort of trauma?

All: What do you think about "non-binaries" and other "gender identities"? by BiologyIsReal in GCdebatesQT

[–]worried19 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I think the invention of "non-binary" has been one of the more destructive things to come out of the new gender movement. It solidifies the idea that if you don't "feel" like a man or a woman (ie: identify with stereotypes), then you are in fact not a real man or woman and should call yourself something else instead.

"Non-binary" is not just a harmless identity or phase that involves pronoun changes and haircuts. For many young people, it's a gateway to a more solidified transgender self. And many people who identify as non-binary do go on to take hormone and have surgeries, despite in many cases experiencing no bodily distress. They insist on denying the reality of biological sex and instead claim that they are magically sexless beings based on the way they feel about being male or female. As a GNC woman who happens to dislike being female, I find non-binary claims illogical and occasionally even offensive. It almost feels like female non-binary people in particular just think they're better than the rest of the female population.

Both: Are sexual stereotypes about men and women in the bedroom true? by worried19 in GCdebatesQT

[–]worried19[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It's not your fault. I'm not sure this particular poster likes anyone here. She also had negative comments about me wanting to talk to theory.

QT, if gender is innate to identity by Houseplant in GCdebatesQT

[–]worried19 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

a female gender identity would be a personal sense of being female

I just view being female as an objective fact. I don't have a personal sense of being female. I am biologically female. I may not like that fact, but it's not in dispute. I got born with a female reproductive system and XX chromosomes.

Both: Are sexual stereotypes about men and women in the bedroom true? by worried19 in GCdebatesQT

[–]worried19[S] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

You're seriously comparing having intercourse to sexual violence.

Forget it. I don't know why you are so hostile and aggressive to everyone, but I'm out of the conversation.

Both: Are sexual stereotypes about men and women in the bedroom true? by worried19 in GCdebatesQT

[–]worried19[S] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Peaking didn't bring it up, though, I did. And I also stated I don't believe being penetrated is an indication of femininity. Plenty of masculine men like having things up their ass, straight and gay alike.

For straight women, this isn't really an option because they're made to believe penetration is obligatory and the only possible way for them to have sex, regardless of their difficulties, sexual enjoyment, risks and even health complications.

Or you know, maybe some of us do genuinely enjoy our vaginas being penetrated by penises. I think it feels fantastic. There's no problem if any woman doesn't like it, regardless of her sexual orientation. It doesn't make her any more or less female. Women are women regardless of how they like having sex.