QT: A question of ideology by loveSloane in GCdebatesQT

[–]peakingatthemoment 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

That’s awful. I’m so sorry!

No one owes rapists shit. You did the right thing. He deserved worse imo.

QT: A question of ideology by loveSloane in GCdebatesQT

[–]peakingatthemoment 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Then you still have a duty to mitigate harm. Call 911, call for help, pressure the wound. Something.

Seriously! I don’t even know how to respond to this. Do you have any idea how this reads for someone who has been raped (or anyone with empathy)? We don’t owe him shit. We just need to get away.

Both: Do "transbians" exist outside the West? by SnowAssMan in GCdebatesQT

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I don’t really know. I feel like in other parts of the world most TW are exclusively androphilic, but haven’t studied it, that just what I’ve heard. I was surprised to find out when I first met TW that many weren’t androphilic and (even more surprising for me) weren’t naturally feminine as children and only starting trying to be that way because they were transitioning. I feel like what we call trans is multiple things that all get put together and that’s why it different in different places and influenced by culture.

QT: A question of ideology by loveSloane in GCdebatesQT

[–]peakingatthemoment 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Agreed. I don’t really understand the pressuring and wish it didn’t happen.

QT: A question of ideology by loveSloane in GCdebatesQT

[–]peakingatthemoment 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah, you won’t get much disagreement from me. It doesn’t really make sense. I feel like trans people can many times use really motivated reasoning. If you were at a place where you felt like believing something was the only way to feel good about yourself, you might try really hard to believe even if it might not be true. You might really want other people to believe it also. People can be engaging in magical thinking without realizing it.

When I was younger, I used to think about how I was in the world and how people saw me and wondered if maybe the weight of everyone’s belief that I was female would be enough to make me real. It didn’t make sense and I don’t know how it would have happened, but it was a thought I had for years. Super magical thinking lol.

QT: A question of ideology by loveSloane in GCdebatesQT

[–]peakingatthemoment 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Obligatory not QT, but trans. I feel like QT people don’t see the things they believe as an ideology. I feel like many people see things like not respecting people’s preferred pronouns or gender identity as closer to racism or homophobia. Very few people feel the need to respect racist or homophobic opinions, even if they are sincerely held. I don’t think people being gender critical is like that of course, but I feel like QT sees it more like that and less like a religious belief. I don’t think that fair (and it’s not what I believe), but QT jumps to that to dismiss GC ideas.

In summary, QT doesn’t see themselves as believing in a gender ideology. They just think it’s how things are and people who disagree are bigots.

Off Topic Friday: Happy Holidays by worried19 in GCdebatesQT

[–]peakingatthemoment 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Things are good! This holiday was different, but still wonderful in it’s way. We didn’t get to see any family in person just because of how bad the virus still is here. I miss seeing everyone, but it’s so important not to spread this right now it seems like we can make it one holiday. The worst part was not getting to see the nieces and nephews, because they’ve grown so much and I hadn’t seen them since last Christmas. We saw them open our gifts, put I miss playing. We did a lot of Zoom calls. Opening gifts on zoom is super awkward, but fun, so I felt like we still got to share some time with family even if we couldn’t be together.

On the plus side, my partner and I spent a lot of quality time together. This is the first time we hadn’t been staying with family for the holidays so it was sort of nice to start our own tradition in our home.

GC: I believe if features are sexed, and secondary sex characteristics are innate to a man or a woman, then sex is determined by secondary sex characteristics and the gender essentialism that tras believe in is true. If you disagree, then tell me your reasons by MissDimples in GCdebatesQT

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Features like height, facial hair, body hair, shape of face, shoulders, etc. vary a lot within sexes. I don’t think there is like any particular secondary characteristic that only women have and no men have or vice versa. It’s all just like averages so it can’t really be what sex is because if it were, we’d all be mixed-sex people. Sex is what gamete your body is developed around producing. Most of time, that means a lot of other characteristics will develop around that, but sex is just what developmental path you are own even if it didn’t work to where you had the gametes, or it was disrupted, or you changed parts of yourself. Like, I don’t have many male secondary sexual characteristics, am not very tall, and have had bottom surgery, but I’m still a male because that was how my body developed before I was born.

QT/Transmed: Where does gender (identity and roles) come from? by DistantGlimmer in GCdebatesQT

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I do feel like there is some arbitrariness in masculinity or femininity and different culture see it different. People can and should be however they want of course. I don’t think there is anything that only women do or only men do (outside of actual reproduction) so everything is human I think. I have a hard time understanding how there can be nothing at all to it when some of us seem more wired towards one way than the other way and that correlates with homosexuality. Someone of us just are that way and it’s true before we have sexual feelings. That makes it where I can’t be completely blank slate about it for everyone.

GC: I believe if features are sexed, and secondary sex characteristics are innate to a man or a woman, then sex is determined by secondary sex characteristics and the gender essentialism that tras believe in is true. If you disagree, then tell me your reasons by MissDimples in GCdebatesQT

[–]peakingatthemoment[M] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Comment was removed for violating sub rules. OP was given an opportunity to edit. I really dislike having to remove comments so please considering editing in the future.

Original: TIM/TIF are not allowed in this space. The sidebar recommends substitute terms like trans natal male or trans natal female. Please edit your comment when you are able. Thanks!

An abridged feminist perspective addressing all the major issues of the trans movement’s ideology by SnowAssMan in GenderCriticalGuys

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Transgender-males benefit from male privilege

Can you explain this one for transsexual males who pass? Beyond like not having to fear pregnancy if raped or possibly having had male privilege earlier in life, it’s hard for me to understand.

Transgender behavioural trends are consistent with their socialised gender & inconsistent with their felt gender

If you are just speaking about trends, I feel like this is true. Individuals may be different though and don’t all behave one way.

Agree with everything else.

QT: a “what if” for you by loveSloane in GCdebatesQT

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Sorry I’ve been so slow to respond. Thank you for explaining!

What I mean is, TW wouldn’t be able to legally change their documents to state that they are women or female. I know that won’t stop some TW from calling themselves those words, but they wouldn’t be able to do it on legal documents and the rights of women would remain female specific (in this scenario “women” and “female” would be the new words, couldn’t think of any made up word lol).

All the words I thought of sounded silly lol. The legal sex change thing is such a sticky issue. I wish we could just go to a system where it wasn’t visible except in special circumstances where it was needed or something. It makes perfect sense to me why GC doesn’t want it to be possible. I can’t condemn it without being a horrible hypocrite though because I did it and it helped me (even though the barriers were more serious then, bottom surgery, etc.).

I disagree. I think it’s uncomfortable for TW to do because they don’t want to, but I don’t get why in theory it would be that difficult to clarify that you’re trans. I understand there are reasons for not wanting to, but I don’t think the idea of clarifying in and of itself is that difficult, when necessary.

I don’t think it’s uncomfortable just because of not wanting to do it (even though you are right that a lot of us don’t want to). It can also be emotionally difficult. Speaking for myself, it can bring up uncomfortable feelings because things were difficult for me as a child. It’s also hard if you aren’t naturally assertive because there isn’t a natural time to bring it up and people don’t expect it. It can be intimating for that reason too. It’s still something we have to do though.

But I when it comes to certain things- like a female specific job/opportunity, sports, dating, stuff like that- transparency should exist. That doesn’t mean every time someone approaches you you have to inform them that you’re trans, it means when it matters, you should be honest imo.

I agree with you for the most part of when it’s important to share. We might disagree about friends, but I think we agree everywhere else. You said in a previous conversation you would feel like your boundaries were violated if you were friends with someone you saw as a woman and later found out they were trans.

I just mean that to me, trans people are the ones who need to be aware of potential boundaries and navigate them.

I agree. I’m just hoping that there is a way we can do that a still be able to live good lives. Sometimes, I worry that we can make an effort, but we may overlook something and won’t be doing it well enough if we are someone who passes. I guess I feel like the subtext from GC sometimes is that it would be better if passing trans people weren’t a thing.

Or the bathroom/sex based spaces thing- gc gets attacked for wanting female spaces to remain female spaces- but the whole point of female spaces is to be specifically for females in the first place so it’s really not wrong for females to object to that being taken away, that’s a boundary that got crossed and we shouldn’t be vilified for objecting.

I’m sorry GC is vilified for standing up for females rights and spaces. I don’t want to do that and want to support you as best I can. I feel like as more people become aware of things that are happening there may be more questioning of the way “trans rights” are treated right now. At my company, for instance, women tend to be the most supportive of trans inclusion and having our company do things like stating our pronouns. I feel like they don’t recognize the potential harm for women of just accepting all this though.

QT: a “what if” for you by loveSloane in GCdebatesQT

[–]peakingatthemoment 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Thanks for the thoughtful response!

I don’t think passing trans people are what GC is usually upset about (although some seem to want to say no one does, which I don’t really argue with because it’s sort of difficult to). I feel like sometimes GC frames all transwomen as being obviously male people who are trying to force themselves into female spaces, force people to refer to them as women, insist they are female, etc. That totally happens and it’s a big problem, but I just have a hard time putting myself into that because that hasn’t been my life. I don’t have any trans friends either. I have to talk about how my life looks to be able to respond to anything.

I don’t feel like you should be classed with males either. Woman and female should refer to you and not to me and I don’t want that to change or be expanded to include me.

I will say I think many trans people overestimate how genuinely they are perceived as the sex they want to appear as (none of this is directed at you to clarify, just in general), and that makes it worse to me because we have so many male people thinking we don’t know they are male but we do and it’s obvious and makes many of us uncomfortable and if we feel uncomfortable (which imo is an involuntary reaction)- we’re bigoted.

Agreed. I’m sorry that is happening. It super understandable how you would feel that way. I feel like I can relate in some ways, but I don’t want presume it’s the same because obviously we are different.

I fully accept that it’s possible that if women created new terms some passing TW would attempt to adopt those terms for themselves- but that’s why I said it would be a sex specific term.

I guess, what do you mean by adopt those terms? I feel like this is why I have a hard time understanding this hypothetical. Would it be like if anyone regarded a passing TW as female (so everyone in practice), would they have to stop everything to say that they weren’t? It seems really difficult to do. It’s sort of where I have difficulty with some of these. Like, maybe the only way we’d do boundaries correctly is if we tattooed “not a female” to our foreheads before moving through the world. I don’t mean to be dramatic, but sometimes I feel like the world GC wants would have to be like this.

QT: a “what if” for you by loveSloane in GCdebatesQT

[–]peakingatthemoment 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Obligatory not QT, but trans. I’ve been trying figure this out.

I guess for trans people who are like me, it isn’t so much that we have a gender identity (although we did have strong feelings about it at one point) and are asking people to include us. It’s more like we are placed into one sex class because of how we look, act, sound, etc. even though we aren’t actually that sex. I’m just not sure how how changing the name for females would make it any less likely for people to see me that way. Despite all this gender stuff, most people still are just looking at what sex someone is.

Obviously, it would be different for different trans people. Third spaces would be nice though so if this helps with that it seems good. I feel like making space for trans people to be in the world without using single-sex spaces makes a lot of things easier. It’s really what TRAs should be pushing for imo.

QT/Transmed: Does 'gender dysphoria' exist anymore? The ICD-11 will re-categorise it as a "sexual condition", re-naming it 'gender incongruence', effectively de-pathologising it. In the wake of this update, will it still be a reliable metric for transgender classification? by SnowAssMan in GCdebatesQT

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It’s very worrying how the criteria has changed in the last decade or so and it feels like it’s only getting worse. Like, someone who just meets those last two wouldn’t have anything in common with someone like me. I don’t like what had happened since words like transgender starting being used instead of transsexual. It isn’t even about the same thing anymore.

I feel like DSM IV made sense. I don’t see how we can feel the way we do or did towards our bodies and not be considered disordered in some way. Like, I know I’m broken and at peace with that. After I transitioned, I was able to live fairly normal life though and that’s all I really wanted.

QT: If women can be male, wtf is a woman then? What term, if any, should we use to describe the female sex? by SnowAssMan in GCdebatesQT

[–]peakingatthemoment 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I feel like it’s so hard to discuss these things now because of things like self-ID. Transwomen or transmen can mean almost anyone, not just post-op transsexuals. In fact, we’re apparently a tiny minority of people under those umbrellas.

QT: If women can be male, wtf is a woman then? What term, if any, should we use to describe the female sex? by SnowAssMan in GCdebatesQT

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Obligatory not QT, but trans. So, woman meaning something relies on woman being primarily defined by being an adult human female. People understand being a transwoman because they already accept this definition of woman. If you completely take away any basis on sex, it doesn’t make sense anymore. It seems really counterproductive for trans people to want to get rid of that, even on the basis of pure self interest, because if you actually succeeded it would undermine what you wanted (to be considered a woman/man). You could make about sex stereotypes I guess, but even then you have to already understand who those stereotypes are about. I feel like maybe it’s not serious and more like them just wanting to say something to insist they should be included in the sex category (which I don’t quite understand tbh).

QT/Transmed: Where does gender (identity and roles) come from? by DistantGlimmer in GCdebatesQT

[–]peakingatthemoment 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I feel like you are misunderstanding me. I don’t disagree with you. Some of us are naturally very feminine or very masculine. In males, being very feminine is correlated with homosexuality. I’m just pointing out it’s an essentialist position, even if you say it doesn’t occur in most people. No reason not to be honest about that.

QT/Transmed: Where does gender (identity and roles) come from? by DistantGlimmer in GCdebatesQT

[–]peakingatthemoment 7 insightful - 2 fun7 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

You are arguing right above this comment that some amount of people have naturally occurring femininity or masculinity. It’s a gender essentialist position.

QT/Transmed: Where does gender (identity and roles) come from? by DistantGlimmer in GCdebatesQT

[–]peakingatthemoment 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I think he is just anti-trans rather than gender critical.

GC: Why are penises, testes, etc considered strictly male organs, and vaginas, uteruses, etc strictly female organs? What's wrong with the view that women have penises, etc too and can produce sperm, or that men have vaginas, uteruses, etc too and can get pregnant? by BubblyBrush in GCdebatesQT

[–]peakingatthemoment 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Totally! I don’t think this is something that can actually happen for trans people. Sex selection for babies already exists and has had devastating consequences for girls.

GC: Why are penises, testes, etc considered strictly male organs, and vaginas, uteruses, etc strictly female organs? What's wrong with the view that women have penises, etc too and can produce sperm, or that men have vaginas, uteruses, etc too and can get pregnant? by BubblyBrush in GCdebatesQT

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Lily Elbe is the most famous, but I’ve heard there were others too. It was all during the first half of the 20th century though and it was not safe at all.

GC: what are the definitions of male and female that do not exclude cis men and cis women who don't produce sperm or egg or removed their genitals? by BubblyBrush in GCdebatesQT

[–]peakingatthemoment 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Maybe. Behaving like someones “pretend sex” or “gender identity” means something is very different than pretending actual sex doesn’t exist though I feel like. Pretending sex doesn’t exist is a far more recent thing and even amongst transsexuals it used to be commonly accepted that it didn’t actually change. Many people just think it is nice to treat people the way they want and not put much more thought into it. It is blurring the lines in some ways though so I understand why GC might not like that. Reminds me of https://fairplayforwomen.com/pronouns/

GC: Why are penises, testes, etc considered strictly male organs, and vaginas, uteruses, etc strictly female organs? What's wrong with the view that women have penises, etc too and can produce sperm, or that men have vaginas, uteruses, etc too and can get pregnant? by BubblyBrush in GCdebatesQT

[–]peakingatthemoment 17 insightful - 1 fun17 insightful - 0 fun18 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

1) Because female and male are literally defined by the development of those reproductive systems (whether they are functional or not or whether they are removed or altered or not).

2) See above

3) It possible male pregnancy may happen at some point, but it’s a bad idea and a poor use of resources. I feel the same way uterus implants in females for pregnancy too because it’s just so risky and so many safer options already exist. Trying to do that in a male will be even harder because there is less of what is needed already there. My husband and I can’t give birth, but are going to adopt. People should just do that rather than put themselves and a child at risk. Even surrogacy would be a much better choice, although there can be ethical concerns about that.

4) Maybe, although the person would have to take anti-rejection drugs for that to work and they might die (everyone who has tried it so far has). It’s possible genetic engineering could enable it, but I don’t feel like it should be a priority considering the state a women’s healthcare and all the diseases we don’t have cures for yet.

5) I feel like the only way you could really change sex is if you could rewrite your genetic code somehow. If that happened, maybe it would really be a sex change. It wouldn’t change your experience though which would not be typical for someone of that sex so many GC concerns might still apply.

GC: what are the definitions of male and female that do not exclude cis men and cis women who don't produce sperm or egg or removed their genitals? by BubblyBrush in GCdebatesQT

[–]peakingatthemoment 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah, I'm not sure either. It seems like a lot of times the person never replies so maybe they are just trying to get a reaction.

GC: what are the definitions of male and female that do not exclude cis men and cis women who don't produce sperm or egg or removed their genitals? by BubblyBrush in GCdebatesQT

[–]peakingatthemoment 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It’s a good question! I didn’t really think about what “valid” means in reality, but I sort of meant it to stand in for whatever the OP wants for trans people. Like, if the OP believes trans people should be treated like their preferred sex, they can push for that without pretending sex isn’t real.

GC: what are the definitions of male and female that do not exclude cis men and cis women who don't produce sperm or egg or removed their genitals? by BubblyBrush in GCdebatesQT

[–]peakingatthemoment 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I just don’t understand why people keep asking this. It’s really easy.

Also, trans people can still be valid even if we acknowledge sex. Why is it so important to pretend that sex can change or is a spectrum?

GC: Do you genuinely desire to have more trans men in public positions (i.e. acting, politics)? by Genderbender in GCdebatesQT

[–]peakingatthemoment 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing! That books sounds like a difficult read (even the film was really difficult to watch). I don’t like the way QT is changing things either. Being trans (or more accurately, a transsexual) used to really be about people who couldn’t exist any other way (even if it was mental illness, we didn’t have anything else we could do). Brandon clearly seemed like one of those to me.

GC: Do you genuinely desire to have more trans men in public positions (i.e. acting, politics)? by Genderbender in GCdebatesQT

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I’m not really going to continue because I don’t feel like you are discussing this in good faith. That said, I am super disappointed, based on responses, that many here seem willing to rewrite the story of someone who literally died because they were trans. If it’s wrong to do that to lesbians and GNC women and it should be wrong to do that to transmen. Brandon deserves better.

GC: Do you genuinely desire to have more trans men in public positions (i.e. acting, politics)? by Genderbender in GCdebatesQT

[–]peakingatthemoment 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I just read some reviews. I certainly haven’t read them all, but the fact Brandon identifies as a boy or man is present in all the ones I’ve seen. Brandon literally insists he is the entire movie. Have you seen it? I do think they weren’t necessarily as artful in referring to trans people back then, so maybe that’s what you picking up on. It was seen a lot more like extreme homosexuality by many so those words would be used. There are many situations where someone is historical is revised to be trans. This isn’t one of those though. Brandon Teena was a transman. He didn’t even die that long ago so many people who knew him are still around. The director of the film has said she intended to portray him as a transman.

GC: Do you genuinely desire to have more trans men in public positions (i.e. acting, politics)? by Genderbender in GCdebatesQT

[–]peakingatthemoment 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Because the character is female.? I’m sure what is considered correct or respectful in journalism has changed since it came out, but the story hasn’t. Brandon Teena was a transman and that is clear in the film.

QT: Why are people not allowed to feel disappointed when someone transitions? by questioningtw in GCdebatesQT

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Yeah, we don’t die. I started crying when I heard my mother say that and couldn’t really get the words out to tell her I was still there. She started it crying too and we at least were together to comfort each other. The feelings for parents are hard (and my parents actually had agreed to medical treatment for me). She still felt like she was losing some part of the little boy she gave birth to.

Both: How do you feel about the High Court's decision in the Keira Bell case? by worried19 in GCdebatesQT

[–]peakingatthemoment 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I completely agree with everything you said. Thank you for putting it so succinctly. 😊

We need to stop treating all these different things like they are the same. For boy whose GD presents before puberty, I feel like by 15 or 16, if they are insistent despite not being affirmed, they probably will continue to persist. GD for girls or GD that begins during puberty should be treated totally differently I feel like.

It’s really worrying that the unfulfilled wishes of trans adults affect these policies. I feel very strongly that a male who presents with GD at age 8 is probably dealing with something totally different than a male who presents with GD at age 28. Same with females.

GC: Do you genuinely desire to have more trans men in public positions (i.e. acting, politics)? by Genderbender in GCdebatesQT

[–]peakingatthemoment 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

But Brandon Teena identified as a man. Their story hasn’t changed. I remember when the film came out and nothing has been revised about the story.

Both: How do you feel about the High Court's decision in the Keira Bell case? by worried19 in GCdebatesQT

[–]peakingatthemoment 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It does drop definitely. I feel like 15 or 16 might be better. Keira was 16 though so some people do desist after that. It’s tricky to balance. 🤷‍♀️

QT: Why are people not allowed to feel disappointed when someone transitions? by questioningtw in GCdebatesQT

[–]peakingatthemoment 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I’m just not sure how good any of us are at objectively understanding our own motivations, especially if they go back to when we were little. The mind is complicated.

Both: How do you feel about the High Court's decision in the Keira Bell case? by worried19 in GCdebatesQT

[–]peakingatthemoment 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Do you have a citation? I haven’t seen anything that indicates it happens that young.

Both: How do you feel about the High Court's decision in the Keira Bell case? by worried19 in GCdebatesQT

[–]peakingatthemoment 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I’m proud of her for speaking out and I hope more will follow. I’m not sure how I feel about decisions about who should get blockers falling to courts, but it’s better than Tavistock just giving them to everyone. I feel like we need to go back to earlier models for treating kids that allow them time to desist without interference. We shouldn’t be basing these decisions on how trans adults feel about it.

Edit: Also, we need more research specifically about trans females. As usual, there is a data gap that favors males and the way we treat males may not be how we should treat females.

Both: what is the source/origin of the claim "trans-womxyn are women"? The DSM-5/icd-11 don't make the claim, I can't find it anywhere within sociology or psychology, not even within queer theory. Is it just a hashtag? by SnowAssMan in GCdebatesQT

[–]peakingatthemoment[M] 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I don't mean to make it personal, but you're not a woman.

I’m not removing this, but I just want to point out that you cannot misgender individual users. You can misgender groups of trans people or publicly known trans people who aren’t present, but please refrain from singling out individual users.

QT: Why are people not allowed to feel disappointed when someone transitions? by questioningtw in GCdebatesQT

[–]peakingatthemoment 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Even if we lived in a society like that, I'd still want to transition

I feel like none of us can know that. We can guess how we would have been in a different society, but I just don’t see how we can know when we’re exposed to gender so early.

QT: Why are people not allowed to feel disappointed when someone transitions? by questioningtw in GCdebatesQT

[–]peakingatthemoment 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing! I feel like that’s such a harsh view to take though. 😟

Were you really different before?

I don’t feel like I was other than dealing with dysphoria making me anxious and depressed. After, I was still me, just happier and able to be comfortable. I was feminine though and couldn’t really pass for straight so maybe it wasn’t the same as for others.

QT: Why are people not allowed to feel disappointed when someone transitions? by questioningtw in GCdebatesQT

[–]peakingatthemoment 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I’m not QT, but trans. I feel like people should be allowed to be disappointed or feel however they are going to feel. It is sad that those feelings aren’t allowed for often times.

I feel like it’s natural for parents to feel sad. I think I would really struggle with it if my child transitioned (even if I thought it was the right thing).

I don’t feel like you become another person. We’re still the same people. My mother once said something early on that she would miss insert Peaking’s birth name and it really broke my heart because I was right there and I hadn’t gone anywhere. I don’t know if other people feel differently, but I feel like I’m still that boy too. Those parts of your life are still a part of you even if they were hard.

This Ethics Class Project Seems Made for this Sub - re Journalism, obligations, Trans ppl, dead names, criminals, persistent identities, etc. by divingrightintowork in GCdebatesQT

[–]peakingatthemoment 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I feel like you are assuming I'm thinking the way I am for the wrong reasons. In regular life, I'm sure you dealt with transness more than I have for social interactions based on how you've described yourself so maybe I should just defer to you in general. I have about the least trans life a trans person can have. I feel like if my thoughts about it aren't rational sometimes its probably because I've built it up from being stealth for so long. If you go through life not talking about something, I feel like your mind gives it importance that maybe it doesn't deserve.

But also I don't think TWs realize the extent to which many women go to avoid male violence - you may, as a smol - but you may be attributing the threat to your transness, not to your female appearing-ness (and yes you're thoroughly emasculated, that's a thing).

On this, I can promise you this isn't my view. The things I've had to go through in my life because of female appearing-ness is so much more than because of transness. It isn't remotely close.

ANYWAY - TLDR - good relationships require vulnerability, and to connect with people requires an amount of it, and if one isn't ready for that one should reconsider whether or not they're ready to be intimate.

Totally agree. I've been in the position many times of not being ready to tell someone and just stopping things for that reason and they wouldn't know why. That is a better thing to do if you aren't ready, but it emotional and I can understand someone taking the easy way out (even though they shouldn't).

This Ethics Class Project Seems Made for this Sub - re Journalism, obligations, Trans ppl, dead names, criminals, persistent identities, etc. by divingrightintowork in GCdebatesQT

[–]peakingatthemoment 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I agree that it's wrong there isn't an excuse for it. It's just difficult and I feel like sometimes people don't appreciate that. You have lots of experience with disclosure so I won't try to say I know better, but it can be really intimidating especially when you know they are not at all prepared for it. Maybe it's not perfectly rational, idk. I'm just not willing to say someone is automatically terrible if they don't do it when they should. I don't know all the details about Nikkie and how long their relationship went on before disclosing.

I had forgotten how big they were. My life experience is as a 5'4"ish 115ish person so that would be different Nikkie's and could affect how I see it.

This Ethics Class Project Seems Made for this Sub - re Journalism, obligations, Trans ppl, dead names, criminals, persistent identities, etc. by divingrightintowork in GCdebatesQT

[–]peakingatthemoment 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Your analogy makes sense. They were super dishonest about nearly everything.

re: Nikki, weren't they like stealth to their fiancé or something?

They were sexual active with their fiancé before they told him they were trans. That is wrong obviously, but I’m a little sympathetic because I understand how it could happen. We can be in a difficult spot with guys.

This Ethics Class Project Seems Made for this Sub - re Journalism, obligations, Trans ppl, dead names, criminals, persistent identities, etc. by divingrightintowork in GCdebatesQT

[–]peakingatthemoment 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Oh wow! That was a such a crazy story!

I’m not sure how instructive it is for journalists and trans people in general because this person was clearly a con-man and lying about all sorts of things. I feel like in a situation where a reporter just ran across something that outed someone who wasn’t otherwise being dishonest maybe they should talk to the person and consider their feelings about it more. That said, I feel like if you’ve lived your life as a man, I’m not sure if it’s reasonable to expect that to be just erased. I feel, if you are stealth, it’s up to you to think about that as you move through life. Like, if I ever became interesting enough to where someone wanted to research me to tell my story, I’d have to be okay with potentially being outed (even though it’s possible it wouldn’t because there isn’t so much there since it was only as a child). But, I wouldn’t make choices that would get me that level of attention because I don’t want that. I think about NikkieTutorials sometimes and I feel like getting too much attention can make it where people will want to do out you. Nikkie handled it the right way, but it’s tough to be put in that position.

QT: What do you think about the AGP model and posts that are documented in itsafetish? by verypeaktrans in GCdebatesQT

[–]peakingatthemoment 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Why don’t HSTS experience gender euphoria? If it’s just caused by being trans, we should experience it too.

Both: what is the source/origin of the claim "trans-womxyn are women"? The DSM-5/icd-11 don't make the claim, I can't find it anywhere within sociology or psychology, not even within queer theory. Is it just a hashtag? by SnowAssMan in GCdebatesQT

[–]peakingatthemoment 13 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 0 fun14 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I think its just something activists came up with to influence public opinion. TWAW doesn't make sense in any real way.

QT: What do you think about the AGP model and posts that are documented in itsafetish? by verypeaktrans in GCdebatesQT

[–]peakingatthemoment 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yes, transmedicalism says you can't be trans if you don't have dysphoria. AGPs say they have dysphoria from being AGP, but I don't know if transmeds agree on whether that is valid or not. Anecdotally, I feel like AGPs who admit their AGP seem to be more considerate and less prone to hurt others (like you say). I feel like ending self-ID and having more gatekeeping might reduce the numbers of AGPs who transition or maybe AGPs could be taught to deal with it some other way. I really do worry about safety because some AGPs are predatory letting them transition puts women and trans people in harms way. I feel like there are no easy answers. :(

QT: What do you think about the AGP model and posts that are documented in itsafetish? by verypeaktrans in GCdebatesQT

[–]peakingatthemoment 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I’m not QT, but I am trans. It may be difficult to find QT/NB types to answer. I feel like everyone here is at least like transmed.

AGP is obviously real. I feel like anyone with any experience in trans communities has seen it. I wasn’t aware of it when I was younger, but once I discovered it it explained a lot of people I had met.

It’s tough to get AGPs to acknowledge it though because it stigmatized and having AGP makes them form emotional attachments to the idea of being a real woman somehow and if they acknowledge their AGP, it means that they’re not. They will come up with all sorts of way to rationalize it away. I don’t really try to label people because that usually just upsets them, but it’s usually something you can pick up on easily (there really is like a type).

Both: How do you feel about the push for people to state preferred pronouns? by peakingatthemoment in GCdebatesQT

[–]peakingatthemoment[S] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

That sounds uncomfortable. 😟 I feel like the detrans perspective is super important but isn’t often discussed. Thank for sharing!

QT/Trans: what do you want from others? by loveSloane in GCdebatesQT

[–]peakingatthemoment 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

You didn’t offend me. 😊

FWIW, I feel like I understand why GC people might not be comfortable with parts of this like legal sex change. I feel like maybe we could come together to fight against things like self-ID. That puts females and TW like me in danger in a similar way so I feel like we could ally against that and in support of more gate keeping.

QT/Trans: what do you want from others? by loveSloane in GCdebatesQT

[–]peakingatthemoment 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I don’t really feel like anything needs to change to accommodate me. I just want to be able to continue to exist how I am comfortable. I feel like for me that means being able have my sex be a private matter outside of medical and partners. That’s how it has been for most of my life and it’s been good for me. I really just want to be able to blend in and live a quiet life as I have done.

Discuss with just facts? by loveSloane in GCdebatesQT

[–]peakingatthemoment 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

You are mistaken. I feel like all the success is because its mostly by and for straight men. People with power have an ability to use it in a way oppressed groups never do.

Discuss with just facts? by loveSloane in GCdebatesQT

[–]peakingatthemoment 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

This even seen in power distributions. Out of 21 trans representatives in USA - 20 are transwomen. Similar distribution around men to women. Same with crimes, transwomen crime statistics is same as of men, and transmen as of women.

This! There were a bunch trans people who won seats this election, but they were all TW! Every news outlet was saying it like a victory for diversity though. Please...

GC: Can you debunk every one of the arguments Andrew Carter made in this long thread in response to JK Rowling? by CuteAsDuck in GCdebatesQT

[–]peakingatthemoment 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

We don't all fit norms though even if we are taught them. Like, I was raised as a boy, but it didn't take for me the same way it did for my older brothers and made me unhappy and upset. Even things like my mannerisms and speech marked me as different from other boys even if I didn't want to be. I'm not saying those things made me a girl, but saying we always have a gender identity that matched our sex just isn't true for way you are using that word.

QT: What accounts for the following discrepancies (regarding sex ratios, sexualities, ASD & lots more sex ratios)? by SnowAssMan in GCdebatesQT

[–]peakingatthemoment 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Not QT, but I am trans. It’s a lot. When I read things like this is just shows to me that like the “gender essence” narrative or the idea the TW have female brains or vice-versa don’t make sense. Even there is like a true transsexual that exists then is still seems like the majority of people identifying as trans aren’t that because if they were they’d be more like their identified sex. I feel like society, culture, social media, etc. is like a big part of what is happening now.

Both: How do you feel about the push for people to state preferred pronouns? by peakingatthemoment in GCdebatesQT

[–]peakingatthemoment[S] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

If you wanted to respond to HR sarcastically, say "YES! And we should all state our race & ethnicity too, so people know when it's inappropriate to use certain slurs!" ...I mean, think about that for a minute and what it implies. FFS these people are idiots. It's like HR has never dealt with actual relationships with people before... then again maybe they haven't: they do call them Human Resources after all. Mindless robots.

😂 I don’t think I’m really to escalate to that level (especially since I work in HR, even though this wasn’t up to me), but that would be really funny to do.

Both: How do you feel about the push for people to state preferred pronouns? by peakingatthemoment in GCdebatesQT

[–]peakingatthemoment[S] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

That makes sense. I agree with you that the value is limited. I’m sort of confused about why it’s emphasized so much.

Both: How do you feel about the push for people to state preferred pronouns? by peakingatthemoment in GCdebatesQT

[–]peakingatthemoment[S] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Thanks! I think this is what I’m going to do too.

Both: How do you feel about the push for people to state preferred pronouns? by peakingatthemoment in GCdebatesQT

[–]peakingatthemoment[S] 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I remember learning about that in college. Just in general, I think it’s better not to reminded of your sex in another way because I feel like it’s super inescapable as it is and it’s not something that helps you professionally.

I think I’m just not going to do anything and hope they don’t say anything about it. I don’t feel like I want to come out as trans to work.

Both: How do you feel about the push for people to state preferred pronouns? by peakingatthemoment in GCdebatesQT

[–]peakingatthemoment[S] 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Do you mean you find it insulting for someone to ask your pronouns? If so, I agree, for most of us it’s really obvious. I guess preferred pronouns do normalize trans identities and that isn’t something we should want necessarily.

Both: How do you feel about the push for people to state preferred pronouns? by peakingatthemoment in GCdebatesQT

[–]peakingatthemoment[S] 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah, I’m really not sure if anyone pays attention to pronouns in signature and bios. For the trans people I know who include their pronouns, it’s usually clear which ones they’d likely prefer even if they don’t pass so I’m not sure if stating them really does anything. I’m curious, do you feel like normalizing people stating their pronouns is helpful for trans people?

Both: How do you feel about the push for people to state preferred pronouns? by peakingatthemoment in GCdebatesQT

[–]peakingatthemoment[S] 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I agree. It’s a personal thing and it feels wrong for someone to insist you reveal something about yourself like that. It shouldn’t be assumed that we all believe in gender identity. You can treat trans people well and not believe in the ideology.

They are just asking right now. It’s tough though because you don’t want to be seen as not being like a team player by not doing it (and everyone else is). I really don’t want to do it though. If I put she/her, I’d be telling people they have to call me that which isn’t how I see pronouns and if I put he/him or they/them I feel like I’d be seen as mocking because I don’t mean it so 🤷‍♀️. I’m just not doing anything right now.

Both: How do you feel about the push for people to state preferred pronouns? by peakingatthemoment in GCdebatesQT

[–]peakingatthemoment[S] 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I feel similarly. Using preferred pronouns should be something we can choose to do, but not something that is compelled. I feel like employers and others shouldn’t pressure people to say their pronouns because beliefs can be different and it’s also very personal.

Opinions on the "twin studies" of gender identity? by DistantGlimmer in GCdebatesQT

[–]peakingatthemoment 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Even if it turns out some people are born that way, we can all still see toxic subculture that has formed around sex dysphoria. The disorder is quite likely real but the culture around it is still a misogynistic swamp.

Yes, this 100%

Opinions on the "twin studies" of gender identity? by DistantGlimmer in GCdebatesQT

[–]peakingatthemoment 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It seems sort of like homosexuality twin studies. I know those are even more coordinated for identical twins. I don’t necessarily believe we are born trans, but I think some of us are born in some way that makes that much more likely. I know with young gender dysphoric males there are a whole bunch of other things including sexual orientation it correlates with so something has to be happening genetically or developmentally I feel like. I don’t know about later onset though because those seem way less understandable that way.

Off Topic Friday: Election Madness by worried19 in GCdebatesQT

[–]peakingatthemoment 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I think it may be impossible to do the Equality Act if Democrats don’t have the Senate.

Off Topic Friday: Election Madness by worried19 in GCdebatesQT

[–]peakingatthemoment 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I voted for Biden because I felt like he was the lesser evil. My state is blue anyway so it doesn’t really matter. 🤷‍♀️

At least he’s not misogynist the way Trump is.

Trans people/QT: What is the best or most important thing gender critical people can do to help you? by Genderbender in GCdebatesQT

[–]peakingatthemoment[M] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Removed for misgendering. It’s against the rules to misgender other users.

Trans people/QT: What is the best or most important thing gender critical people can do to help you? by Genderbender in GCdebatesQT

[–]peakingatthemoment 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I feel like the most important thing anyone can do for trans people is to normalize gender nonconformity. Kids should be taught it’s okay to be a masculine girl or feminine boy and we should try to make it where those things are just like a part of personality and not because of someone’s sex. Visibly trans people shouldn’t be treated badly because they don’t adhere to expectations for their sex. I feel like GC (actually GC, not trans hating conservatives appropriating it) do this, but it is the most important thing to me because it helps everyone and doesn’t reinforce gender roles.

GC: Why is a constructed penis from tissues or stem cells that looks and feels like a real penis and is as functional as a real penis still not a real penis? What makes the constructed/artificial different from the actual thing when both look and feel the same? by [deleted] in GCdebatesQT

[–]peakingatthemoment 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I don’t think that’s real. I don’t know that much about those surgeries, but I don’t think it comes out the same and we can’t create genitals from stem cells yet. For an FTM, wouldn’t their body not have the proper other things to make the penis behave like a man’s does?

GC: Can you explain why defining sex as the different sized gametes (egg and sperm) is not conflating sexual dimorphism with sex, because I think it is conflating? And can you tell me why sex is binary and is not a bimodal distribution? by MarcelineKnows in GCdebatesQT

[–]peakingatthemoment 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I’m not sure if I’m understanding the question entirely. Like, if sex is defined by gametes, which I think it is, there are only two types of gametes and nothing in between them. It seems like that has to be binary rather than bimodal. I don’t think gametes can be a result of dimorphism either because they are very different even apart from size. I’ve only heard dimorphism used to refer to traits. Traits among females and males are a distribution with a lot of overlap though so maybe that is what they are getting at. Those traits aren’t sex though. Plus, many of those traits can be changed and do change throughout someone’s life (to varying degrees). For instance, characteristics of my body include breasts and a vagina (or at least something like one 🤷‍♀️), but it is still a male body because I was born male, just not a typical one. Like, using sex to describe someone can be less useful in those situations, but that isn’t a reason to try to pretend sex is something other than what we’ve known it to be throughout human history. 100 years ago, no one had any trouble knowing who was and wasn’t supposed to vote or who the 19th amendment was for. It’s silly we’re pretending like it’s complicated all of a sudden.

Both: Has International Pronouns Day (or other "awareness" days) had any effect on your personal life? by worried19 in GCdebatesQT

[–]peakingatthemoment 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I feel like it’s kind of silly, but I’m kind of in the “pronouns should be earned” camp so asking for them or telling people to use them isn’t what I think should happen. Professionally, some people do have pronouns in their email signatures or bios, but I’ve avoided doing this so far.

Both: Has International Pronouns Day (or other "awareness" days) had any effect on your personal life? by worried19 in GCdebatesQT

[–]peakingatthemoment 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Years ago, I attended events for Transgender Day of Remembrance, but I stopped after I left that community in the early 00s.

Why this thread? by Genderbender in GCdebatesQT

[–]peakingatthemoment 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Do you think gay men can have boundaries other places or should they always have to accept at least some female people (or lesbians and males)?

QT: If anorexics identify as underweight, is it wrong to give them weight-restoring treatment? by assignedcopatbirth in GCdebatesQT

[–]peakingatthemoment 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Number 3 is a really good point. I don’t think you can connect being dysphoric to being a woman or man because of that. Growing up, for me, I believed I was really supposed to be a girl or that I was one inside because of how I was, but beliefs like that don’t really make sense or rely on sexist stereotypes (unless we actually found out it was in the brain or something, but there isn’t evidence that that is real). I don’t know if the dysphoria with my body would have existed the same without that because I can’t know what that would be like since that is how I felt. I feel like if someone says TWAW they have to believe some version of that because dysphoria wouldn’t make someone a woman.

Woman being tied to female the way trans people use it makes sense to me. I feel like if it wasn’t part of that they wouldn’t want the word to begin with and that’s why the TWAW people want to come for female too. Woman doesn’t make sense without it and if TWAW people managed to change it to just mean an identity, I feel like it would actually be really self-defeating for them. I don’t know if that makes sense.

Why this thread? by Genderbender in GCdebatesQT

[–]peakingatthemoment 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It’s just seems like you are saying gay people aren’t allowed to have boundaries which just seems very homophobic, even if it’s coming from a kind place of wanting trans people to be included.

Why this thread? by Genderbender in GCdebatesQT

[–]peakingatthemoment 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I'm attracted to cis men and trans men who are well passing and post op. If they aren't post op I won't do anything with their genitals.

Same, I think. I can definitely find transmen attractive although even post-OP I worry that everything might not work right or be the same, but I really don’t know.

Though if another woman is OK with him having a vagina, I wouldn't call her bisexual unless she dates women.

I think this is where you get into problems. I feel like labeling a homosexual relationship as something other than homosexual is erasure. Also, LGB people should be able to have their own boundaries and not have to include opposite sex people in their communities regardless of gender identity. If people want to privately think of their relationship as something other than what it is actually, that is fine (many here would probably say I do this), but demanding inclusion from others or demanding your relationship is viewed a certain way by others is disrespectful to their boundaries.

She is still primarily attracted to opposite sex characteristics. The key word is primarily.

I don’t see how you can talk about being primarily attracted to the opposite sex and exclude genitals from that. Genitals have to be part of “primarily” to me, unless they just aren’t having sex.

Why this thread? by Genderbender in GCdebatesQT

[–]peakingatthemoment 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I don’t think you can be mainly attracted to female characteristics and also be attracted to the primary male sex characteristic. A penis isn’t a female characteristic.

Why this thread? by Genderbender in GCdebatesQT

[–]peakingatthemoment 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Secondary sex characteristics can vary a lot between individual females and males, but genitals are like the primary thing that differentiates us even before puberty. It’s silly to pretend secondary sex characteristics would matter more. If a guy has sex with someone with a penis I really feel like it can’t be straight and there’s nothing wrong with that. You shouldn’t erase homosexuality to validate trans people.

All (mainly QT): If socialization is not a large factor than what causes drastically elevated levels of violence and sociopathic behavior in human males vs. human females? by DistantGlimmer in GCdebatesQT

[–]peakingatthemoment 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah, I sort of lost my belief in gender identity (the way trans people use it) once I was actually in trans communities and realized most transwomen behaved like narcissistic straight men (and transmen like women). And that was like close to 20 years ago, before “cis” and transgender replacing transsexual. It’s only gotten worse since then. 😣

All (mainly QT): If socialization is not a large factor than what causes drastically elevated levels of violence and sociopathic behavior in human males vs. human females? by DistantGlimmer in GCdebatesQT

[–]peakingatthemoment 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I feel like actually listening to transwomen, especially the ones online, is like the thing peaks so many people.

All (mainly QT): If socialization is not a large factor than what causes drastically elevated levels of violence and sociopathic behavior in human males vs. human females? by DistantGlimmer in GCdebatesQT

[–]peakingatthemoment 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Jeez, I don’t know what it is with you and Masks. I’ll never understand this kind of thing. Why can’t we just talk about men behaving better?

GC: What is the best or most important thing trans people or transsexuals can do to help you? by peakingatthemoment in GCdebatesQT

[–]peakingatthemoment[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing! Those are all important.

All (mainly QT): If socialization is not a large factor than what causes drastically elevated levels of violence and sociopathic behavior in human males vs. human females? by DistantGlimmer in GCdebatesQT

[–]peakingatthemoment 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I feel like saying it’s all testosterone is infantilizing to men and makes it where they aren’t responsible for bad behavior. Plus, it can’t explain guys who don’t display toxic masculinity.

GC: What is the best or most important thing trans people or transsexuals can do to help you? by peakingatthemoment in GCdebatesQT

[–]peakingatthemoment[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Being trans is like being an other sort of, but it doesn’t always have to be that way socially.

Speaking only for myself, my childhood was really tough due to being how I was, but once I was allowed to pass as a girl/women things were better for me and I was able to just focus on living my life. I was suddenly accepted without having to try to change myself or be hurt by others. It allowed me to have a relatively normal life. I just don’t know if it would be the same if I had to be out as trans to everyone.

There are differences between someone like me and a natal female and also transwomen more generally and women. I don’t mind acknowledging that. Transwomen should not insist we are women. I’m just scared of giving up the only way of living my life that’s ever worked for me (that is, being a woman socially because I’m read as female).

GC: What is the best or most important thing trans people or transsexuals can do to help you? by peakingatthemoment in GCdebatesQT

[–]peakingatthemoment[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing your thoughts! I strongly agree with everything you said. Those are really important issues.

GC: What is the best or most important thing trans people or transsexuals can do to help you? by peakingatthemoment in GCdebatesQT

[–]peakingatthemoment[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Okay, thanks for explaining! Misogyny going with being right wing makes sense. Right wingers also love people who criticize in their own group if it’s a minority one, so... 🤷‍♀️

GC: What is the best or most important thing trans people or transsexuals can do to help you? by peakingatthemoment in GCdebatesQT

[–]peakingatthemoment[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I understand that there’s risk to outing yourself- my whole thing is, does the risk of outing yourself or othering yourself matter more than the personal boundaries of others? I feel like so many issues concerning transwomen come down to dismissing or respecting the boundaries of others.

I don’t know... I hadn’t really thought that was violating a boundary for being perceived a certain way. It’s weird to think about because it not something you are actively doing, it’s happening because you are not actively making it not happen (if that makes sense).

I also think the goal of trans people should be acceptance of trans people rather than concealment, but that’s a different conversation.

Yeah, I feel that is like a major conversation. I’ve always appreciated that I was able to not be visible (and even not really think about it) because I feel like it helped someone like me have a better life, especially years back when there really no push for acceptance.

Eta- a TW friend being upfront with me would indicate to me that they respect my boundaries. Me finding out somehow that a friend of mine is a TW would indicate to me that they disregard those boundaries. This is just my perspective tho

Thanks for explaining! I only have one experience of coming out to a friend (and that’s an odd story) so I don’t know how everyone feels or would feel about it.

GC: What is the best or most important thing trans people or transsexuals can do to help you? by peakingatthemoment in GCdebatesQT

[–]peakingatthemoment[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Oh dear! Okay, thanks..

GC: What is the best or most important thing trans people or transsexuals can do to help you? by peakingatthemoment in GCdebatesQT

[–]peakingatthemoment[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

Accept that women are a seperate group to which transwomen do not belong.

Do you feel like it’s bad or a boundary violation if someone who isn’t female passes as woman? I’m just trying to understand.

I’m not that familiar with Blaire White, but comments like that are very offensive and hurtful to me. Transhumanists and people with those tendencies all just seem like creepy narcissists, but sadly they seem common in online trans spaces.

GC: What is the best or most important thing trans people or transsexuals can do to help you? by peakingatthemoment in GCdebatesQT

[–]peakingatthemoment[S] 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Thanks for your response! I hope I do most of those things.

I appreciate you giving your honest opinion on friends too. I do have some friends who know, but, with one exception who I came out to, they are friends I’ve know since grade school, so they know since they knew me before. I’ve sort of though about it like a medical history thing more than something really important about me now, but I understand others might not see if that way and I appreciate your perspective. I don’t want to make anyone participate in anything they don’t want to, but I’m not always sure what that means for me. I have a hard time with the idea that I should be marked as trans in some way because that seems othering and that I would make things difficult, but I feel like the more I have these conversations it seems like that is what many GC people want (even if they want me to be the one to do it).

Off Topic Friday by anxietyaccount8 in GCdebatesQT

[–]peakingatthemoment 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Thanks! It was scary! I still feel like they need to be more careful because if you can get cold or flu germs it seems like you also could just as easily gotten COVID.

QT oriented question but anyone can comment: How much of a choice do we have over our gender identity (assuming for the sake of argument that gender identity exists in all people)? by DistantGlimmer in GCdebatesQT

[–]peakingatthemoment 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Okay, I’d agree with that. I’d have things in common (at least in childhood) with each of those other groups. Sexual orientation is big. Like, I feel like I’d have much more in common with a feminine gay man than a bisexual or gynephilic transwoman at least for our childhoods and probably more. We just are more likely to share common interests irl, so I don’t think I’m wrong in assuming that.

Off Topic Friday by anxietyaccount8 in GCdebatesQT

[–]peakingatthemoment 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Things are going fine other than with my parents... They started feeling getting flu like symptoms on Thursday night, so I’m worried they have COVID. They got tests, but they haven’t received results yet. The symptoms don’t seems awful and their breathing is fine, but I’ll feel a lot better once we know. 😐

They’ve been traveling more than they should imo. I’m sure they’ll be fine, but I wish they had been taking this more seriously.

Update: They tested negative. 😊