No, but if the entire female sex is innately inferior, then there is no point to feminism.

I don’t see this as thinking the female sex is inferior. Aggression does not mean better.

It’s a tool that can be useful or destructive for other purposes.

There are some that believe in the flatter bell curve for men but really when I think about it. It could all come down to that aggression. Which can also be self destructive.

So your belief is just like Red Pill,

I can see the problem with that and I don’t know what the answer to that is. Red pill is an extreme form of it.

But I do see the repeated lighter forms of it in regular life. This is what often radical feminism is complaining about and I agree it is there in subtle forms. Patriarchal norms but it is not absolute. I don’t think it’s absolute.

What do you make of these credit academic reports.

Women's Sexual Fantasies – The Latest Scientific Research

Fantasy does not mean they wish these desires fulfilled.

But they pattern of desire for sex and power remains very strong.

Everything that is natural is not necessarily a moral good. I think that’s one of my starting points.

I think I was born with an inability to conform to gendered expectations. To me, “born with an inability to conform to gendered expectations” isn’t entirely accurate. That isn’t escaping gender. That is embracing the gender norms of the opposite sex.

As such, you could certainly raise little girls to embrace neutrality and most of them would.

I don’t see it as being technically possible. That isn’t how humans are. I think there are natural biological tendencies within humans plus a natural desire to create gendered things.

What's your social circle like?

Of course I’ve lived a life and at times been very social. Known and sought out many men and women of different flavours.

Specifically the straight crossdresser community is very thin. The community is very androphilic. It is often very based around sex with men and other gnc men. That’s super awkward as a straight man not attracted to other crossdressers. Online I got a lot of attention from men, even after saying I’m straight. There are a lot of assumptions. There can be an assumption that a straight crossdresser is a liar. Back to that pattern of gnc men being either gay or perverts.

I have been in circles entirely of women, falling into a kind of honorary member. But it’s not sexual. I mean that in a bad way. We were not seeing each other as sexual figures because I was not doing the masculinity they prefer and they were not being the aggressive female figures I prefer.

I have been male circles and I don’t quite fit the casual masculinity of them. Certainly not after they are aware of my crossdressing.

There is a common refrain of “don’t let your crossdressing/sexuality” become your whole identity and I can see the good reasons and logic for that. But then you suppress and end up being a person that “springs” it on others. You drift into the closet only to find yourself around people who are not accepting.

I realise now I ought to have placed it more central to my life. I accepted it when I was very young but that acceptance became internal and not external enough.

Where I do find it more acceptable is the kink community, the fetish clubs. That is where crossdressing is more than tolerated, a straight crossdresser has a place not as part of gay culture but as a person outside sexual norms. There are also women there who appreciate gender non conformity in men and relationships.

I had initially gone to these clubs when I was younger but drifted away as I got older because they were too small, cliquey, badly attended and amateur. I was also groped by men there. That pattern is strong.

However in the last few years I returned to find the clubs better organised, better policed, friendly and well attended. I wish that had been the case when I was younger. I find it a place of tolerance of people not criminal but outside regular norms of different sexual types.

There are certainly women there who are dressing for sex in a way that turns themselves on.

Well, I feel you. They keep lumping GNC women like me in with trans. Which is why so many of us are fleeing womanhood.

Well obviously I think a “failed woman” is the wrong way of looking at it. I’d see you as embracing masculinity. That does not mean you need to embrace a transman identity. But that does not mean you can disconnect masculinity from men.

No? I think the fetish in question is getting aroused by the idea of wearing female clothing.

But their gender expression is connected to their sexuality? There has to be some relationship.

The gay male scene has plenty of sexualized ultra masculinity that is linked to pleasure.

You do see women who see their femininity as part of their sexuality. It does put them in the mood.

I consider BDSM a harmful kink/fetish. If they can't get off without imagining that, then yes, they are fetishists.

But a lot of this is super common. The bdsm scene in my opinion is people theatrically expressing extremes forms of this.

Or of course mild gender non conforming forms.

Well I enjoy the female aesthetic. Nothing wrong with that in and of itself. Would you put on a non-revealing dress and go out in public without feeling any hint of arousal about it?

Hint? It depends on what you mean.

I’m not demanding pronouns or a different name or anything like that. I just like female appreciation of my expression. It puts me in the mood and puts the right woman in the mood.

Really that’s what a lot of gender expression is about IMHO.

He can, as long as he doesn't give a shit about what others think. He just needs to own them and not allow other people to rule his life.

I don’t think you’re getting how harsh men are policed on gender.

Even small things will be judged by even liberal people. Tolerance does not mean people don’t act on it.

A man has to constantly police himself, especially a straight man.

If I let society determine those things for me, I'd have a very unhappy existence. I do agree gnc women do get a rough ride. But the line is very tight for straight men. You can see the line in regular pop culture.

Dude, you seriously don't. Dress how you want, act how you want.

This is my experience after hanging with men and women. This is what I see. I have experienced enough to know what they believe and what they react to.

A lot of that is just passion. Some of it I find problematic. But most of it is benign. You've never had a so-called "normal" woman grab you or initiate a kiss or something?

I have had women grab me at times. Pinch my bum, hand down my trousers.

But generally I think the gender norms hold in patterns.

Sexually passive women are far more common. That does not mean they are without desire. I don't believe that's really the case.

I think the data points to that on average.

At one point you said you like to have women do things to you, but you also said you like to do things to your female partners. So it's not like you're just lying there like a dead fish, right?

Ha yes no, I can see it might come across that way. More that any action by me is welcomed and preferred. That they don’t feel action from them is enjoyable, it is entirely not for their pleasure. Any action from me means they don’t need to reciprocate. To the point that all the action and desire comes from me. As I said this is not true of all women. Just a general bias.

Compatibility is the issue.

Though growing up I did lack the PIV obsession that seemed to be the norm and expected from me as a boy. I wasn’t obsessed with sticking it in. Is that relevant? I still don’t know. All part of the unusual sexual behaviour.

You don't think women have genuine sexual desire of their own?

I wouldn’t characterise it like that. I think it is a desire. I don’t think sexual desire is entirely about that.

I mean what do you think these women are enjoying about it? Lust, desire, wanting, all the normal things people like about having sex.

But the women who are sexually passive?

If 2/3 of my partner's girlfriends were active, how rare can it be? Remember that he's very gender conforming. Unless you think he's abnormal just by virtue of being with me.

By being with you he is experiencing something statistically unusual.

Just as a woman with a male crossdresser would be.

I still think there are on average differences between men and women in sexual behaviour and desires.

I think we both believe that but we disagree on the causes.

I'm still not entirely sure how you define passive. He's really not very strong-willed in terms of having to have a certain thing in bed.

You both sound active.

I’d add rarely initiating sex but expecting it, is passive. As if initiating it, is a turn off, at the same time being annoyed if the other person does not initiate it.

I know I respond more to active pursuit than my active pursuit. It took me some time to realise this. Just not being wired the same way as the average straight man.

That’s a wider point I’d make. I do see trans identities. I do see elements of myself as more accepted as female. But after looking a long time at the subject I remain seeing myself as a man. I don’t see myself as a woman sexually. I see myself as a crossdresser sexually. That is who I identify with no matter how good or bad that figure is. I can’t escape that.

I’m not demanding some extreme BDSM thing, mild is fine. I find some things women seem to want on /r/sex too extreme. Aggressive passion and appreciation of my expression is what I want.

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I got it down to one! lol