TiF Talks About Weirdest Dysphoria Triggers

Shesstealthy · 2021-01-20T22:50:17+00:00

Yeah. Laughing at "triggers" is not cool.

Shesstealthy · 2021-01-19T05:10:34+00:00

Do small boys not have stuffed toys where they come from?

Shesstealthy · 2021-01-18T21:35:58+00:00

I wish they would leave that kid alone. Shiloh will be Shiloh. It's nobody's business what gender she is or isn't until such time as she wants to make a statement.

Shesstealthy · 2021-01-17T03:15:24+00:00

Sounds like your brother may have a tiny crush on Blaire and therefore needs Blaire to be a "real woman" in his mind.

Unlike a lot of people here I do think Blaire passes pretty well and I do also believe that some people feel a lot more comfortable in a trans identity than any other way. Like you I absolutely worry about childhood medical intervention and parents pushing a trans bandwagon for their own reasons that have little to do with their child's actual welfare.

Shesstealthy · 2021-01-16T23:32:15+00:00

Assuming that their son is male.

Shesstealthy · 2021-01-15T05:02:51+00:00

I feel like so much of this is, in some cases, a reaction to anti-racist and feminist politics. Many people feel like victims though the stats don't support their feelings. So instead of being a reviled white woman, killing black men with her misplaced tears, one can be a genderqueer demiboy and immediately claim marginalisation. As a marginalised person one can again confidently centre oneself in all discussions.

Similarly transcels think that if they're "strong independent lesbian women" rather than cis white men they get permission to neckbeard aggressively all over the place without being chastised

Shesstealthy · 2021-01-13T23:06:07+00:00

He doesn't - or shouldn't. But when he puts stereotypical feminine accoutrements on he's signalling to people that he wants them to call him "she". I get that. It does get very tangled because we don't have to. But I suspect it's the same reason that TIFs like beards or working out to look hyper masculine. So people judge the exterior as trying to fit into that binary.

Shesstealthy · 2021-01-13T23:02:27+00:00

I hate to be a natal-fem Norah naysayer, but I think we have to rethink sarcastic titles like this. Seeing people posting the horrific stuff written on Parler makes me realise that GC Saidit can be made to look just as bad really easily.

Saidit is not a nice place and I think we should be really careful not to look like we're inciting violence even as a joke.

Shesstealthy · 2021-01-09T20:59:41+00:00

If he calls everyone dude and complains about gendered langiage then he's being very hypocritical.

Shesstealthy · 2021-01-06T05:56:42+00:00

Is it death?

Shesstealthy · 2021-01-03T23:35:39+00:00

That's not the problem. The problem is the very bad side effects of the drugs in question and the questionably of whether taking them will actually help a trans teen pass or have an easy medical transition if that is what their goal is.

Shesstealthy · 2021-01-03T23:32:50+00:00

"the presence of a female chest is an abnormal body structure caused by gender dysphoria..."

So... Trans kid: I feel like a boy despite not having a penis. As puberty nears I'm scared about my body becoming more womanly. Trans endocrine system listening in: BOOBIES.... ACTIVATE!!!

Shesstealthy · 2020-12-31T21:39:47+00:00

Yeah that photo gives me a bit of a Joan Sutherland vibe jaw-wise. Some women are "mannish" to look at and that's ok.

Certainly the TIMs I have met have been mostly very easy to clock. There is one in my town though who I wouldn't were she not well known to be trans. As a result her height and deepish voice become giveaways... otherwise I'd just assume she was a big female.

Shesstealthy · 2020-12-31T21:33:43+00:00

If you could never tell, there would be no need to legislate gender identity acceptance.

Shesstealthy · 2020-12-29T21:42:09+00:00

Gender diaspora snort.

But assuming this is accurate there is a HUGE red flag in this person saying they were abused. Oh your mother abused you and you hate women? Obviously your whole problem is that you're trans!!!

Shesstealthy · 2020-12-28T23:28:43+00:00

Probably just good friends tbh

Shesstealthy · 2020-12-28T18:38:54+00:00

Well how fortunate that we can identify as something else then.

Shesstealthy · 2020-12-27T20:58:11+00:00

As vulnerable citizens who often have kids to protect, women have become adept at outwardly playing by the rules.

Shesstealthy · 2020-12-27T20:38:04+00:00

The thing i find most telling is that for all the trumpeting of us being equals in the bedroom, colder, more detached etc, it's somehow only us who are supposed to want to be choked and beaten

Where are the young men's magazines teaching them how to like being pegged? Suggesting that their female partner might like to strangle and slap them so they should learn how to enthusiastically consent? Implying that saying no to these things is a little uptight? Giving them tips for sex with girls who have penises?

Shesstealthy · 2020-12-27T19:14:30+00:00

I wonder if she'd say that to the famously pithy and concise Judith Butler.

Shesstealthy · 2020-12-27T19:11:07+00:00

I kinda feel like Blaire just didn't want to say 'sperm' based on watching the vid. Which is weird since Blaire doesn't deny being male but otoh does tend to use euphemisms for genitals etc so I think this was the same.

Obviouslu Blaire has DNA Blaire just doesn't have the delivery system for using his DNA to create a child any more. He has the insrminator but it shoots blanks so to speak.

I thought it was oddly worded but I don't think Blaire truly believes they could commit a crime and leave no DNA evidence.

Shesstealthy · 2020-12-26T22:00:30+00:00

This remains really interesting to me. This person believes anyone who pushes against the gender norms of their time is queer. And that does huge injustice to actual gay/lesbian/bisexual/pan/vaguely not straight enough for it to matter people.

Many years ago I was reading some feminist theory and I came across an article where a lesbian was defined as a woman who did not have any emotkonally dependent relationships with men, something like that. Whatever the definition was I thought gosh, as a single woman I too count as a lesbian. I mentioned it to someone on the same course and she very kindly pointed out that it was a no. It was long ago and I can't remember the language she used but I came away feeling like yeah unless you fall in love sexually with women this is not the name to use for yourself and sexuality and oppression for it are not theoretical.

Shesstealthy · 2020-12-26T21:50:46+00:00

Good point

Shesstealthy · 2020-12-26T03:04:54+00:00

So in other words they're ordinary everyday people who never needed a special label.

Shesstealthy · 2020-12-25T23:41:28+00:00

We should stop having sexed sports categories then. Simple.

Shesstealthy · 2020-12-25T22:12:55+00:00

Different mouth feel = flaccid.

Shesstealthy · 2020-12-25T22:12:04+00:00

This is probably peak virtue signalling more than anything else.

I follow Dominic Noble's book and movie reviews on YouTube. He's very woke - to the point where he was all "I completely owe my career to JKR because of Harry Potter but now that she is so terfy with her whole don't call me a menstruator thing I can no longer produce HP content ever again" - but his reviews are often sharp and funny and he has a nice soothing voice.

Anyway he has just pulled a presumably humorous review of a presumably m/m book about a sexy lumberjack because... he just found out that the author has come out as NB so his video misgenders and deadnames and makes assumptions about their gender so he has to redo it.

FFS.

I'm guessing this was a typical m/m sexy romance written by a woman who no longer identifies as one, so all his observations about how the characters don't act like men have to be reviewed. That's what I'm guessing.

I hate this obliteration of people's lived experience just so they can be "who they really are" no matter how recently they made their gender decision. If you're born and raised as a girl you're formed by that no matter how NLOG or manly you think of yourself as being.

Shesstealthy · 2020-12-22T18:57:58+00:00

RCs are 100 percent allowed to pray to any saint they want. That's half the reason we have them.

But I agree, patriarchy isn't merely a Roman thing. The Greeks, for a start...

Like Western cultures, in the golden age of Islam there were certainly some privileged women occupying important roles and compared to the world it came from Islam was pretty liberal on the subject of women's rights. Today it looks very much not of course because it's regressed/continues to act like it's the 14th century.

Just because Celts and Vikings let women own property doesn't mean they weren't patriarchal societies either.

Shesstealthy · 2020-12-22T18:49:36+00:00

Not to mention that heaps of gay people were fighting for their rights both before and at the same time as Stonewall. It's not like all gay people on the planet cowered in the closet till some Americans had one riot and then were freed.

Shesstealthy · 2020-12-22T18:47:23+00:00

"EVERYONE should be able to have their identity recognised and in language that is acceptable to THEM! Not you, cis scum."

Shesstealthy · 2020-12-17T22:42:08+00:00

I really hate this "lots of" bullshit. No "lots of" people are not attracted to trans people whose bodies don't match the sex those people are generally attracted to. "Lots of" straight women are not hot for men with vsginas. "Lots of" straight men don't want to sleep with women with cocks. "Lots of" gay men are not here for a soft squishy lover without a dick.

Some people are but it's not the general way of things.

Shesstealthy · 2020-12-17T22:38:06+00:00

Someone should tell that to straight men because I think they'd find those men would vehemently disagree.

Shesstealthy · 2020-12-14T22:16:28+00:00

TBF if I had some kind of radical surgery like that I would be looking at it too and trying to work out how my body now works.

I'm pleased that one of the responders points out that visible labia minora are actually normal for women to have.

What I want to know is the mechanics of this disappearing flesn during arousal. Is it ball sac skin that tightens? Does the fauxgina essentially work as erectile tissue?

Shesstealthy · 2020-12-13T02:30:05+00:00

In not listening to actual indigenous people talking about their own concepts news...

Shesstealthy · 2020-12-11T19:56:18+00:00

I've inadvertently found myself on the front page of this site and it makes Reddit look sane and reasonable.

Shesstealthy · 2020-12-11T18:33:34+00:00

It's as if she suddenly started believing something everyone in the world accepted to be true until five years ago at most, and that most still do believe. What a crazy outlier.

Shesstealthy · 2020-12-09T19:25:14+00:00

Yeah I'm very familiar with the oldschool womyn spelling but never the womb version.

What pissed me off was hearing that it.was ok for Native Americans to use it to distinguish and honour biological females. But not for other women. In that case it was terfy

Shesstealthy · 2020-12-09T00:06:01+00:00

I have never seen the term "wombyn" used on Ovarit or here or GC Reddit. The only time I've seen it has been in discussions by and about First Nations Americans. Where did the writer get the idea it's a radfem tbing?

Shesstealthy · 2020-12-08T05:53:20+00:00

It's interesting because a friend shared a story on FB recently with a headline about EP receiving "transphobic hate" on Twitter. Now I know some women have definitely said things that could be construed as transphobic but the example they gave was literally someone saying "Well I guess I'm glad they're happy but I feel so sad that we've lost another lesbian". How tf is that transphobic?

I don't think EP owes it to lesbiankind to maintain a female identity if this really matters to her. But expressing sadness about her not being a lesbian any more isn't transphobic or hateful. Nobody ever said people are full of homophobic hate if they express disappointment that a star who comes out is now "off the market" for their fantasies.

Shesstealthy · 2020-12-07T05:02:51+00:00

I agree. Maybe Keira would have decided on an enby or masc identity without interventions. The scandal is using experimental drugs and surgeries on her with no checks and balances, and before she could reasonably consent in an informed and adult way.

Shesstealthy · 2020-12-07T00:43:36+00:00

"What I don't like is the erasing of female bodies, female voices and female experience and our ability to name it" And that's what made me a terf.

Shesstealthy · 2020-12-05T11:45:36+00:00

Tbh that's fair enough.

Shesstealthy · 2020-12-05T11:45:06+00:00

If she's married a woman or a transman she's not straight .

Shesstealthy · 2020-12-04T22:40:00+00:00

I'm shocked by the hairline lowering a) not looking different b) the patient not expecting it to. Why have it then? I assume the surgeon urged it. Just ripping transwomen off.

Shesstealthy · 2020-12-04T22:35:46+00:00

Poor kid.

Shesstealthy · 2020-12-04T22:33:48+00:00

I swear loads of people who don't know who Ellen Page is are.going to be like "so this actor is a woman now? Will he change his name? He looks really feminine already, he must have been on the hormones."

Shesstealthy · 2020-12-03T23:32:58+00:00

I believe the old term for it was kinda butch lesbian.

Shesstealthy · 2020-12-02T07:26:24+00:00

Wow. I hate their stuff but good to know they care about ALL women's rights. I bet they also fund trans friendly organisations too.

Shesstealthy · 2020-12-02T04:48:11+00:00

Please don't tell me Currer, Ellis and Acton are not brave transmen. I mean those are very transy names. Clearly not women /s

Shesstealthy · 2020-12-02T04:42:02+00:00

Tbh having seen lots of.joy outside the terfnet, I think two things are going on here. One, E.Page has for reasons known only to themselves decided that they're a bit of a man and has made a public declaration of that fact. People are naturally rushing to be supportive of a person they assume has been suffering. Maybe they have. And Page deciding to identify as a man is OK. It will largely limit their career to indie and Netflix shows but that's pretty much their niche anyway.

Secondly you get a lot of lesbians who are really disappointed to lose a public figure and role model. And that's also OK. Nobody should HAVE to be a role model but in the LBG world there are so few. People are allowed to be sad about it.

Shesstealthy · 2020-12-01T19:21:01+00:00

And how are readers supposed to know who Elliot Page is and why he's in the news if they don't??

This deadnaming thing is nuts. The prohibition on it was supposed to be to protect trans people from abuse and being tracked down by hateful family etc. Ellen Page has a substantial body of work under that name.

I mean even Poppy Z Brite sticks with that name instead of Billy Martin for writing. Because they aren't completely deluded.

Shesstealthy · 2020-11-25T22:38:18+00:00

Exactly. And I think that's right. We're playing dangerous games when we attempt to rewire a kid's body. We need trans people - for I believe they exist - to have a healthy stab at life.

The sports question is the tough one for you cannot deny your body when doing physical things. If they don't want a trans league then maybe a mixed gender league will suffice? (All prizes will go to cis men but at least nobody is being discriminated against on the grounds of identity!)

Shesstealthy · 2020-11-25T00:11:32+00:00

MY favourite is the one that says all TW have puberty blockers so never have male puberty.

Which gives an idea of how little people understand about how gender dysphoria is treated in the real world.

Shesstealthy · 2020-11-24T19:23:15+00:00

Bet he's not getting death threats.

Shesstealthy · 2020-11-22T22:53:07+00:00

The word is fanny aka female genitalia.

Shesstealthy · 2020-11-22T22:33:44+00:00

Nobody tell these kids about the 60s and 70s and 80s and 90s. FFS.

For what it's worth TW, I use the presence of a bra to determine whether an obvious male in feminine attire wants me to use "she".

Shesstealthy · 2020-11-21T20:54:14+00:00

Well not all of them are like that.

But yes, the shift to loving violent rhetoric is disturbing to me. Less experience of war? It's like they think everything is a video game.

Shesstealthy · 2020-11-21T04:47:21+00:00

"When it becomes possible for men to acquire fully female bodies" But why would they want to do that?

If transcending the limitations of having a material human body is so desirable, why use this glittering tech to be... a different kind of limited material human body?

Shesstealthy · 2020-11-21T04:42:28+00:00

More likely just young and idealistic trend followers

Shesstealthy · 2020-11-20T20:06:38+00:00

It's only offensive whrn applied to female humans.

Sigh.

Shesstealthy · 2020-11-20T04:58:39+00:00

The more "dykey" the woman, the more likely they say she was a man.

It's all so Radclyffe Hall.

Shesstealthy · 2020-11-19T22:17:33+00:00

The point about not being able to focus on everything is a good one. However I do think being intersectional is crucial for well rounded understanding of how complex things are, and should not be limited to feminists! Certainly people need to use intersectionality well - it started with race, and imo class comes next, and then sexuality and sexual identity etc. If the first two are not considered then the last two are given too much weight.

It would be nice to see whyte inErSeCtIOnAl trans feminists putting less privileged females who aren't like thrm ahead of themselves, in the way other women are expected to do.

Shesstealthy · 2020-11-16T22:23:36+00:00

Could also be that demand for SRS is outweighing availability. There can't be many able to provide it and funding is very limited.

Mastectomy and boob jobs are readily available. And easier.

Shesstealthy · 2020-11-16T22:12:44+00:00

It's frustrating to me that the acronym LGBT is used here when the only people impacted are trans.

And decoupling birthing from the category mother me very anxious.

Shesstealthy · 2020-11-15T19:08:46+00:00

Well it's major surgery and prone to complications. I wish that movies and TV with trans characters wouldn't suggest that you simply pop into hospital, recover for a fortnight and voila! As to the manner born. It gives people a very false sense of it being really easy routine surgery.

Shesstealthy · 2020-11-15T19:05:03+00:00

Poor kid. I hope Jaz gets some solid time away from the cameras and focuses on studies and wellness.

Shesstealthy · 2020-11-15T19:02:38+00:00

The partner is Mallory from The Toast! I used to love that site.

An odd situation.

Shesstealthy · 2020-11-13T21:47:28+00:00

This. I'm a woman because of my body. Sometimes I imagine myself as other things but it doesn't change the physical fact of my.body. I don't feel a need to make my body permanently look like the opposite sex which is i guess why I'm not trans?

I don't understand non-dysphoric trans identities.

Shesstealthy · 2020-11-13T21:43:46+00:00

Shudder.

Shesstealthy · 2020-11-11T04:53:31+00:00

My understanding is that a delusion is only classified as a delusion if it's in contradiction to what the person's community believes. So if you grew up in a cult that said you were the embodiment of a god, you believing it is not a delusion. So there's that.

Voices are real, to the person that hears them, and they may have concrete material causes in terms of how your brain works. Loads of otherwise hralthy people experience auditory hallucinations. Voices are only a problem if they interfere with your day to day function. For some they are quite helpful.

With an anorexic person the issue is less that they think they're fat and more that they restrict food to a dangerous degree.

So while I agree that trans people's feelings should not be allowed to harm others, and that they like everyone else need protection when their beliefs can cause them to harm themselves, I also believe it's unhelpful to say their beliefs are "not real".

Shesstealthy · 2020-11-10T21:38:42+00:00

Beauty contests are irrelevant and outdated. Who cares.

Shesstealthy · 2020-11-09T23:21:00+00:00

I used to, a bit. I got really upset if mistaken for male, feeling like I must not look like a girl was supposed to look, and wondering what I was doing wrong since I had breasts and so forth.

What I was doing wrong was being tallish and having a lowish voice.

But at that time I was easing into womanhood and wanted boys especially to see me as an attractive girl.

Shesstealthy · 2020-11-07T00:09:11+00:00

I see no problem at all with this. And far better than nonbinaries accepting women's awards when it suits despite supposedly hating being seen as women.

Trans people can have trans things.

Shesstealthy · 2020-11-06T23:07:12+00:00

You seem threatened.

Shesstealthy · 2020-11-06T05:15:07+00:00

YES. Essentially they still see us as second class citizens.

Shesstealthy · 2020-11-06T01:21:05+00:00

Homophobia really.

Shesstealthy · 2020-11-06T01:20:23+00:00

Are they front holes?

Shesstealthy · 2020-11-05T21:42:06+00:00

Yeah or more likely just making life uncomfortable and/or ganging up physically . Like I said far more likely to be queeny HSTS rather than emo "muh validation" types.

Shesstealthy · 2020-11-05T02:23:36+00:00

Interestingly I met a woman prison officer who had trans inmates in her men's jail and she said some had requested transfer from women's facilities because the women were too mean. They were likely HSTS though

Shesstealthy · 2020-11-04T23:25:24+00:00

YES. Imagine the indignity. They should have wings instead for followers of particular sports teams, and for those who enjoy handicrafts, and those who love to read. Because prison is a health retreat

Shesstealthy · 2020-11-04T23:25:21+00:00

YES. Imagine the indignity. They should have wings instead for followers of particular sports teams, and for those who enjoy handicrafts, and those who love to read. Because prison is a health retreat

Shesstealthy · 2020-11-04T23:17:34+00:00

Yeab. Welcome to womanhood. The guy you think is hot, well if he also thinks he's hot? He's not going to date you if he thinks you're not hot. Unpretty girls don't generally attract handsome men. And most of us take no for an answer.

Shesstealthy · 2020-11-04T04:52:14+00:00

That and the fact he's a fat effeminate gay man in a world where men like their men masculine. Which is its own set of problems.

Shesstealthy · 2020-11-04T04:50:20+00:00

I'm loving the comment that says rising numbers of TIMs are due to soy in the diet, as if Asian countries are 90 percent ladyboys.

Shesstealthy · 2020-11-03T02:36:36+00:00

As numerous people have said elsewhere: *As long as they have a penis.

Shesstealthy · 2020-11-02T17:44:11+00:00

Sam Smith is a tedious attention seeker.

Shesstealthy · 2020-10-31T20:17:53+00:00

What chances do those candidates have of winning?

Shesstealthy · 2020-10-31T20:17:25+00:00

So... four more years of Trump?

Shesstealthy · 2020-10-29T04:42:42+00:00

This reminds me of a kerfuffle I saw where a BLM protester was identified as a "wombyn" and libfems rushed to denounce it as a terf dogwhistle till someone said the protester was Indigenous and that the Indigenous community used that term for wbw. Whereupon it was deemed OK and that TERFS had stolen it.

So if you're Indigenous you are allowed to acknowledge your.womb presence in text.

Shesstealthy · 2020-10-29T04:38:55+00:00

COMFY

Shesstealthy · 2020-10-26T19:31:26+00:00

I mean I believe we need to listen to trans voices on their own experiences just as we listen to other minority voices. But I can't shake the sense of being erased. Black women, other minority women and I have something in common. That thing, trans women do not have. And the vast majority were also not socialised as girls which in some ways feels even more significant than biology.

I believe being a woman is a complex nexus between biological realities and socially constructed ideologies. We can't discount either of these things when we examine women's lives and needs.

Shesstealthy · 2020-10-26T02:11:32+00:00

As a white woman I can think of little porn j would less be attracted to viewing, with a title like that.

It's for white men.

Shesstealthy · 2020-10-26T02:10:11+00:00

The thing that peaked me. Till that moment I had no idea we were supposed to pretend TW are identical to us in every way. And terfwise I'm pretty dsmn libfemmy

Shesstealthy · 2020-10-24T18:53:50+00:00

They stock them for people to buy online? How is that not selling? How is that not contributing to the dissemination of the writers' ideas and to their coffers? The not stocking JKR stuff is 100 percent a cynical marketing spin from a current event.- buy from us, we're so moral.

Shesstealthy · 2020-10-23T20:42:40+00:00

They were created by a WOC as well.

Nobody has Barbie pink genitals. The pink was for femininity.

Shesstealthy · 2020-10-22T23:51:39+00:00

Why are TW always drawn so dainty?

Shesstealthy · 2020-10-21T23:07:29+00:00

What a fraught tradition. You get to mock but for their edification.... and would you ever feel safe from retaliation?

Shesstealthy · 2020-10-21T04:54:11+00:00

we need to wipe our urethras and vulvas after peeing - we can't just give a shake the way males can with their dicks

Been standing and shaking a bit after a pee all my life - omg i must be a man

Shesstealthy · 2020-10-20T23:58:38+00:00

Is it inaccurate?

Shesstealthy · 2020-10-20T19:30:35+00:00

This person is clearly a loon though.

Shesstealthy