you are viewing a single comment's thread.

view the rest of the comments →

[–]Shesstealthy 18 insightful - 1 fun18 insightful - 0 fun19 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

The thing i find most telling is that for all the trumpeting of us being equals in the bedroom, colder, more detached etc, it's somehow only us who are supposed to want to be choked and beaten

Where are the young men's magazines teaching them how to like being pegged? Suggesting that their female partner might like to strangle and slap them so they should learn how to enthusiastically consent? Implying that saying no to these things is a little uptight? Giving them tips for sex with girls who have penises?

[–]PenseePansy 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Men have eroticized their abuse of us for ages; now WE'RE supposed to eroticize it, too.

This reminds me of what a (female) psychologist who works with convicted sex offenders once wrote about sexual sadists-- the kind that kinkster-PR can't pretty up; for whom "non-consensual" is the entire POINT.

She said that, at its most extreme, sexual sadism no longer even involves acts that are actually sexual in any way. What gives such sadists the greatest pleasure... is pure violence.

Maybe what we're looking at is less a case of violence in sex (frightening enough right there) than... violence AS sex :(

[–]cure_osa_disorder 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

This is why gay men should not have to take no for an answer.

[–]WildApples[S] 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yup. I used to believe in the idea of sex positivity and sexual equality, but it became clear that the bulk of the benefits of sexual freedom always accrues to the men and heterosexual, sexual interactions always end up reflecting patriarchal norms. Catherine MacKinnon was on point.