1. What are your thoughts on terms like butch, stem/futch, and femme?

I have known women who use butch or femme to describe themselves, but not stem/futch. They strike me as old-fashioned.

1a) Do you use these terms? (If so, how would you describe yourself?)

I don't really identify with any of these terms myself, though my wife sometimes uses them situationally to refer to one or both of us, or to describe other women she knows.

1b) Can other groups(such as the G,B, and T) use these terms?

I don't really care. Again, I think they're old-fashioned, and they aren't important to me as a part of lesbian identity (anymore).

2. Do you have a "gaydar" to where you can normally tell someone else is a lesbian?

No, not really, unless someone has gone out of their way to use a variety of traditional signifiers

3. Are you a feminist?

A few years ago I would have said no, but now I think I am, or at least am on the road to becoming one

3a) If yes, what type?[Ex radical feminist, intersectional, choice(?) feminist(idk wtf that is lol) ]

My understanding of feminism is that there are issues of sex-based oppression or inequality that have a deleterious effect on women's health, their access to opportunity, and their treatment by wider society, and that those are issues that are important to me to work at fixing. I think that race, disability status and other factors that affect some but not all women can also exacerbate those inequalities and that should not be ignored or minimized. I do not think that sex work is empowering for the vast majority of women who find themselves doing it, and that to frame it as such is harmful. I'm not prepared to label myself into any specific type of feminism because I would like to be prepared to ally myself with anyone whose values align with my own on any particular issue, even if I disagree with them on other issues.

4. What are some important issues that should be tackled/discussed in lesbian circles?

I'm not a part of any lesbian circles anymore. Except for here, I don't really engage with "the community" at all anymore, although I was quite active in an irl group when I was younger. I feel very disconnected from lesbians as a whole these days, surely in part because I don't want to join either a "terf group" or a "wlw inclusive group" and there doesn't seem to be an option for "lesbians who don't want to talk about transgender stuff but also maintain a group that is actually only lesbians"

5. Do you feel as though you are a part of the LGBTQIA+ as the L? (Please explain)

5a) As the L, do you feel supported by the other letters?

In my real life, yes. Gay and bisexual men and bisexual women have been part of my support network since forever and I've never personally felt any sense of division from them.

5b) What is a good way to support the L?

I feel that the best way for me to support the Gs and Bs is to stand behind them when they speak for themselves, and stand up for them when others speak or act against them. That's what I would appreciate in kind.

5c) Thoughts on "Leave out the L"?

I totally get it. I'm not too concerned about joining that specific movement myself, but I completely understand lesbians who are sick of lesbian concerns being minimized and lesbian issues going unaddressed deciding to forge out without attaching themselves to a larger group.

6. How do you feel about the Trans Right Activist?

They're steamrolling over homosexuals and bisexuals and making all of our spaces and all of our organizations about them and their issues, and demonizing us in the process.

6a.) Thoughts on "transbians"?

See above.

7. What type of discrimination do you deal with? (Online, real life, daily, etc)

Online: I don't talk about being a lesbian online much anymore except here. I've gotten banned and/or patronizingly corrected for being firmly and openly homosexual and clear in my definition of that, and I just don't have it in me to argue my existence or the meaning of lesbianism with internet randos.

8. What are your thoughts on the following terms(and being called that or others calling themselves that): 'Queer', 'Dyke', 'Lesbo', 'Homosexual', "Gay", "Lesbian", "Same-sex attracted", and "TERF".

I don't care for "Queer," I think it frequently means a straight person who wants to feel like a part of something, or a very young gay person, and I don't identify with it at all.

"Dyke" and "Lesbo" and "Lesbian" are lesbians' words to describe themselves. I lose respect for anyone who isn't a lesbian and uses these words for themselves.

"Same-sex attracted" makes me think of Mormons, but I'll be damned if it hasn't become a more useful term in the last little while.

9. What are your thoughts on the Lipstick lesbian & Labrys Flag?

I like the rainbow flag. I don't really care about the others.

10. What is one of the MOST annoying myth stereotypes about lesbians that you hate?

That we are ugly.

10a) Is there a lesbian stereotype that you like or follow?(ex. Wearing plaid, short hair, etc)

Not really. I did cut my hair short this year, but not to look more lesbionic. It just suits my face shape.