all 31 comments

[–]oofreesouloo⚡super lesbian⚡ 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (9 children)

Wow, great post! I really appreciate it as a lesbian. I think it would be great to make one of these for bisexual people and gay men as well! Right now, I don't have the time unfortunately to answer all those questions, but definitely will in a few days when I'm more free. I just came by right now to show my appreciation! <3

[–]reluctant_commenter 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (6 children)

^ Same here :) Will write out a longer response when I get a chance but I really appreciate this post!

[–]PeakingPeachEaterfemale♀ | detrans🦎 | eater of peaches 🍑[S] 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

Yeh, no prob!

I love reading your responses too, I see you around a lot tbh lol.

[–]reluctant_commenter 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

Ahahahah that's probably a sign I'm on here way too much. I've been laid up in bed the past couple days, but I need to return to other hobbies soon as well. Thanks, I'm really glad you enjoy them :)

[–]PeakingPeachEaterfemale♀ | detrans🦎 | eater of peaches 🍑[S] 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Have you been doing okay?

Honestly, I haven't been doing any hobbies either in a LONG while either. This pandemic and personal & work-related stuff boggs me down...so I chill out here on saidit or other places online to escape...

[–]reluctant_commenter 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Oof, what a question... I appreciate you asking, that's thoughtful of you :) I am better than I ever have been, to be perfectly honest, even with everything going on in 2020; but it's still an uphill battle, haha.

Yeah I would love to get back to practicing my instrument. I just keep finding excuses to not. It's been work activities and saidit, and taking walks I guess. I've barely seen anyone IRL in the last couple months lol.

edit: Also, truly terrible of me but I forgot to ask, what about you? How're you holding up?

[–]PeakingPeachEaterfemale♀ | detrans🦎 | eater of peaches 🍑[S] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

That's good to hear that you're better than ever!

If you don't mind me asking, what instruments do you play? I used to play clarinet, bass clarinet then transitioned to piano & guitars but...I haven't been playing/composing any music lately. My bros started a band and wanted me to jpin but just been busy lately and we play different types of music...

To be honest, I haven't been doing the best, there's a lot of life changes that are about to happen and my job leaves me depressed. On the flip-side, I am trying to do something about it and look for a new job and better myself in personal life.

I appreciate you asking!

[–]reluctant_commenter 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Aw, thanks! I'm sorry to hear you've got a lot going on. I respect that you're trying to change your circumstances, though! I am trying to hunt for a new therapist and it's taking forever, kinda discouraging.. but gotta keep trying. So I feel that.

That's awesome you play so many instruments!! You compose? That's so cool! What kind of music do you like to write?

Also down to continue chatting over DM!

[–]PeakingPeachEaterfemale♀ | detrans🦎 | eater of peaches 🍑[S] 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

No problem! :)

I post quite a bit in the s/bisexuals group more than here---just trying to get the sub active lol.

I have a couple of posts related to those questions in that subsaidit:

I'll need to brain storm for questions to ask gay men. :D

[–]oofreesouloo⚡super lesbian⚡ 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Awesome! I see you've already did one for bisexual people :P

[–]oofreesouloo⚡super lesbian⚡ 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Okay, I'm going to answer to a few questions right now :) (will continue later)

1. What are your thoughts on terms like butch, stem/futch, and femme?

I'm okay with them, I really don't have an opinion about them. They've been part of the lesbian culture for as long as I can remember. There are people more attached to those labels, whereas others are more indifferent. As long as you don't use oxymorons describing yourself and an absurd amount of labels like pan dyke asexual (like I've already seen actually), then I couldn't care less.

1a) Do you use these terms? (If so, how would you describe yourself?)

I hardly ever use these terms. I only use them if people can't see me and I have to describe myself or to describe the people I'm attracted to (which is the case here for example). Other than that, I don't use them, ever. I don't know what's the point of using them honestly in any other circumstances. Women see me, if they like me, cool. I see them, if I like them back, awesome. I don't need to describe anything. But when I do use them, I tell I'm a femme lesbian.

1b) Can other groups(such as the G,B, and T) use these terms?

Honestly, it is a little awkward for me. For example, watching a bisexual women call themselves butch. Because usually these terms are so connected with same sex attraction that seeing a woman having both male and female partners and calling herself one of these "lesbian terms" a little cringy. I guess if she was a febfem it wouldn't be so shocking for me as she wouldn't have male partners.

2. Do you have a "gaydar" to where you can normally tell someone else is a lesbian?

Nope. I'm getting better at it though. But the truth is, from personal experience, guessing a woman's sexual orientation is incredibly hard, in particular if she's not the "stereotypical butch" lesbian, which is what I'm interested in...

3. Are you a feminist?

No

3b) If no, please explain your thoughts on feminism(or what ideology you follow if you do!)

I don't like to commit to political stances or movements. Besides, I find that all types of feminisms I know have things I don't like or even strongly disagree with, despite knowing that women need feminism in some way. Basically, I haven't found an "ideal" type of feminism.

[–]PeakingPeachEaterfemale♀ | detrans🦎 | eater of peaches 🍑[S] 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Oh!! It's good to know about the butch/stem/femme thing. For the longest time I was ignorant about it and assumed women(both bi & lesbians) used it! I only found out recent-ish? That it's a lesbian-only terms.

We have Buck, Tomcat/Stag, and Doe but...I don't really use those terms.

I typically say gender non-conforming but now I feel like that has political connotations that it bugs me. Then when I hear masculine leaning or masc, it reminds me too much of TRAs that I don't even say those phrases either. Maybe those bisexual terms are useful...🤔

On the gaydar thing, I feel like it's easy-ish for me to find out if someone is also bisexual. They usually assume I'm only same-sex attracted (because I'm a "tomcat" or maybe more or a "buck") and started talking to me about how they like girls lol. But I like both men and women lol. I get asked if I have a girlfriend or get told "Oh, I thought you were a 'dyke'". I...don't know if dyke is really a nice word to use?

I am on the same page with you in regards to feminism. I don't like to commit to specific ideology. I was interested in feminism, but it's not for me, I guess. I hate that nowadays, people are trying to turn sexualities such as "lesbian", "gay", and "bisexual" into political terms when it has nothing to do with politics.

What are your thoughts on "political lesbians"?(What does it mean? Is it straight/bisexual women who claim to be lesbians because they hate men??)

[–][deleted] 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

1. What are your thoughts on terms like butch, stem/futch, and femme?

The words butch and femme scream "lesbian" to me. I'm a "masculine" lesbian but I don't personally use these terms. I recently heard that gay men used to use the terms butch and femme in their own history but I'm not sure how widespread that was. I don't think anyone who isn't homosexual should use the butch/femme/etc because often straight and bi people who do appropriate those terms misuse them and attempt to claim other parts of gay and lesbian history as their own.

EDIT: Please know that futch is not a thing. Futch and the futch scale are jokes. Subtypes of butches and femmes don't really work in a scale. For example, soft butches are just fat butches and stone butches are touch-me-nots (only give and don't receive during sex).

2. Do you have a "gaydar" to where you can normally tell someone else is a lesbian?

No. Sometimes a woman gives off a strong vibe but that's the extent of my gaydar.

3. Are you a feminist?

I would consider myself a feminist. I care about problems like sex trafficking, period poverty, FGM, criticizing the beauty industry, abortion rights. I am not entirely sold on all aspects of radical feminism but I do believe women's oppression is sex-based. "Intersectional" feminism ("feminism is for everybody") always focuses on women's rights the least from what I've learned about it. It's become completely divorced from the actual original meaning of intersectional feminism, which just acknowledged that racism and classism often intersected and made women's lives harder. Choice feminism basically posits that any choice a woman makes is inherently feminist. I think that's a great way to get a whole lot of nothing done because it has absolutely no analytical depth.

4. What are some important issues that should be tackled/discussed in lesbian circles?

The current decline of the lesbian community due to its colonization by bisexual women, straight women (they call themselves political lesbians), and the TQ+. We also need to reach out and teach younger lesbians about their history but censorship and lesbian hate makes this hard.

5. Do you feel as though you are a part of the LGBTQIA+ as the L? (Please explain)

No. Lesbians are pretty hated. The TQ+ have been trying to convert us for ages. Non-lesbians can support us by defending the definition of lesbian to be a female who is only attracted to the same sex. I haven't heard of Leave out the L but it sounds like Get The L Out. I think it's good for lesbians to have lesbian-only spaces regardless of political intent. The same for the rest--every letter should have it's own spaces that don't need to be all-inclusive. I only feel part of the broader community in strictly LGB spaces.

6. How do you feel about the Trans Right Activist?

I used to be quite supportive when the movement was a lot more tame. Trans people were mostly reasonable and I had no problems with them. I also didn't really understand how their dysphoria was at all related to sexual orientation but apparently most Ts were homosexual transsexuals. Not the case anymore. Now that I've had a lot more firsthand experience and seen the sexism, homophobia, lesbophobia, and more recently biphobia that underpins much of the current trans movement I can no longer support it with a clear conscience.

7. What type of discrimination do you deal with? (Online, real life, daily, etc)

Bog-standard conservative homophobia and now the queer/woke homophobia. It's online and offline. People refuse to acknowledge that lesbianism exists. If they do, they hurl insults at lesbians. We're often forgotten and sometimes purposefully erased from pride and LGBT+ related events and groups due to be exclusively same-sex attracted. Big organizations have abandoned us.

8. What are your thoughts on the following terms(and being called that or others calling themselves that): 'Queer', 'Dyke', 'Lesbo', 'Homosexual', "Gay", "Lesbian", "Same-sex attracted", and "TERF".

Queer is a slur, I hate it and don't want it used as an umbrella term. I like dyke and lesbo but only when used by other lesbians. I'm okay with everything else on the list, except I prefer to use lesbian for myself. I think the word TERF has become a powerful tool to silence any woman (especially lesbians) who questions trans activism, transgenderism, transitioning, and how those "rights" interfere with other groups' rights. I used to be afraid of being called a TERF but I'm not anymore. Everyone has "terfy" views according to TRAs so there's no use trying to argue them.

9. What are your thoughts on the Lipstick lesbian & Labrys Flag?

I don't care about either of them. Rainbow flag or double venus sign all the way.

10. What is one of the MOST annoying myth stereotypes about lesbians that you hate?

"Lesbians just need to find the right man/d*ck!" Disgusting. The result of homophobia and non-lesbian women pretending to be lesbians only to crawl back to their boyfriend or husband later on. The stereotypes that apply to me are mostly the classics. I like plaid, men's clothes, short hair, and a lot of masculine hobbies.

[–]lovelyspearmintLesbeing a lesbian 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Here goes.

  1. What are your thoughts on terms like butch, stem/futch, and femme?

I personally don't mind them. They're good descriptors of certain types of lesbians.

1a) Do you use these terms? (If so, how would you describe yourself?)

Not really. I do tend to wear more masculine clothing due to convenience and comfortability, plus I unapologetically love plaid.

1b) Can other groups(such as the G,B, and T) use these terms?

No. They're made for and by lesbians.

  1. Do you have a "gaydar" to where you can normally tell someone else is a lesbian?

I used to use coloured hair as a marker, but now I'm not so sure.

  1. Are you a feminist?

Yes.

3a) If yes, what type?[Ex radical feminist, intersectional, choice(?) feminist(idk wtf that is lol) ]

Ex radical feminist. I agree that men and women should be equal and that men have a disproportionate amount of power in every society, but I don't hate men in general. Like, if they're unpleasant towards me, I won't like them, but I can say the same for women.

  1. What are some important issues that should be tackled/discussed in lesbian circles?

-Bisexual women calling themselves lesbians and calling them out on it

-Toxic behaviour in lesbians relationships: how to identify how it presents itself and how to deal with it/confront the toxic individual

  1. Do you feel as though you are a part of the LGBTQIA+ as the L? (Please explain)

Absolutely not. It's been overrun and I'm wary of people calling themselves lesbians who use that full acronym.

5a) As the L, do you feel supported by the other letters?

IRL, not really. I'm not a part of the LGBTQ+ community in my state because it is terribly small and word travels real fast.

5b) What is a good way to support the L?

Allow us exclusivity and don't misuse our label.

5c) Thoughts on "Leave out the L"?

If it means not having to deal with the TQ crowd demanding feminine PIV sex, I think it's a grand idea.

  1. How do you feel about the Trans Right Activist?

I honestly thought it stood for Trans Radical Activist for years. I'm not wrong, am I?

6a.) Thoughts on "transbians"?

They may be a .000000001 percent who genuinely feel they are a lesbian trapped in a man's body but regardless, that doesn't mean a woman has to be with these people. As for the others, their behaviour is deplorable, they genuinely behave like incels, and it's worrying that many have no intention of removing their penis and instead say it doesn't bring them pleasure and therefore that's okay.

  1. What type of discrimination do you deal with? (Online, real life, daily, etc)

I'm still not out to most of my family, as their strong religious and personal beliefs would cause them to reject me. Otherwise, I can barely talk frankly to anyone about how I feel about men invading lesbian spaces in the guise of being transbians. People who are aware and comfortable with my lesbianism don't understand why I can't just write in my dating profile that I'm not interested in transpeople or non-binaries, as they're not aware of doxxing.

  1. What are your thoughts on the following terms(and being called that or others calling themselves that): 'Queer', 'Dyke', 'Lesbo', 'Homosexual', "Gay", "Lesbian", "Same-sex attracted", and "TERF".

Queer is and always will be an insult. It can't be reclaimed, especially not by straight people, but it seems it's here to stay. I know some lesbians use dyke, but that and lesbo are both insulting to me. Homosexual is fine, provided it's not used as an insult. Same goes for gay and lesbian, provided the person using it means actual gay men and actual lesbian women. Same sex attracted is important and hopefully won't be replaced by the more nebulous same gender attracted, although it seems likely. TERF is a silencing tactic, nothing more.

  1. What are your thoughts on the Lipstick lesbian & Labrys Flag?

I prefer the lipstick one without the lip print, but Labrys is also good, provided only lesbians use it and not straight feminists and political lesbians.

  1. What is one of the MOST annoying myth stereotypes about lesbians that you hate?

That lesbian relationships are cute or somehow better than straight ones. No, it's just a relationship. Yes, there is a different dynamic to gay or straight ones, but it is still, in essence, a human relationship, with its ups and downs. That and the myth that women become lesbians through nurture rather than nature, for example, an woman who is abused by men becomes a lesbian.

10a) Is there a lesbian stereotype that you like or follow?(ex. Wearing plaid, short hair, etc)

I wear plaid (although I try to avoid outright wearing men's plaidwear if I can help it), I'm handy around the house, and don't wear makeup unless I have to. I had short hair for a while, but kept being mistaken for being a guy (due to he hair and clothes) that I ended up growing my hair out again.

[–]just_lesbian_things 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

  1. I don't use those terms. I'll leave it up to the women who use those terms to decide if non-lesbians can use them.

  2. Not really. Hindsight is 20/20, but if I'm being honest with myself, no I don't have a gaydar.

  3. No, I haven't done enough to qualify as a feminist, in my opinion. I support most tenets of radical feminism, though.

  4. People treating our boundaries as a form of hatred?

  5. No, I feel no connection to the other letters. I barely feel connected to L. To be fair, I don't support gay men or bisexual people all that much either. I keep up with some of the politics, especially wrt bisexual women. I'll do my part to be respectful, but I'm not going to be out there campaigning. I try to treat gay men the way I want to be treated by the opposite sex, that is to say, left alone.

  6. They're men. The ones who are attracted to women are bi/het men.

  7. Too long to go into

  8. Queer, dyke, lesbo and TERF are slurs to me. Use at your own risk.

  9. I don't like flags.

  10. Lesbians not wanting to fuck you is a form of hatred or discrimination. Straight men, bisexual women, trans people seem to love using this line of argument. It's so fucking weird because it's not even like I get hit on all that much; people just seem to really hate being ruled out as a sexual partner based on extrinsic characteristics.

[–]PeakingPeachEaterfemale♀ | detrans🦎 | eater of peaches 🍑[S] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Ooof, yeah it seems like many people expect lesbian women to bend over backwards for them and it sucks that you have to deal with it! I'm sorry that people from my group(the B) are being retarded and expecting you to date them and not taking "no" for an answer. I wouldn't be mad if you gave them an uppercut to the jaw lol, they deserve it for being assholes.

If you don't mind me asking, why do you not feel connected to the L?

I was wondering about the term "dyke"! I heard a bisexual woman(one of my former bosses) call herself a "dyke" but that's...I thought that was a term for lesbian women and may not be a good one. I hear terms like "diesel dyke" and stuff like that so I didn't know if lesbian women reclaimed it, BUT only THEY can call themselves that(because otherwise, it'd be offensive). Anyways lol, that answered my question about that particular word that I will stay even further away from it and never use it to describe anyone, since it's rude.

Also, what about the term "Lesbi" with an 'i'? My bisexual coworker(she FINALLY says she's bi instead of pan more now jeez) says she had "lesbi" friends and...it...sounded weird to me.

Excuse my ignorance in the matter.

[–]just_lesbian_things 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

expecting you to date them and not taking "no" for an answer.

Haha, the craziest part is they don't even want to date me!! It's like getting mad over not being invited to a party you didn't even want to attend! It's gotta be the most ego-driven thing ever.

If you don't mind me asking, why do you not feel connected to the L?

Poor timing on my part. I started coming out and looking for the lesbian community around the time when woke homophobia started taking off. I got driven out over "transphobia" (not wanting to date male people) as I was trying to join the community, so I never got to be a part of it. The upside is that I don't feel the loss as acutely as women who did get to be part of the community. The downside is I'm not very comfortable around other lesbians and lesbian groups due to the smearing and cancels and threats of violence. It's weird when people talk about LGBT communities being welcoming or whatever because that's never been my experience.

I was wondering about the term "dyke"! I heard a bisexual woman(one of my former bosses) call herself a "dyke"

Again, I'm not really "in" on the community so I can't give you the official stance. Personally, I don't like non-lesbians using dyke or anybody calling me queer. People can obviously still do it, I'm just not going to like them very much.

Also, what about the term "Lesbi" with an 'i'?

Again, not part of the community, but I think I've heard people use Lesbi as in Les+bi. Imo it's about as good as wlw, and I prefer it to using "gay" or "lesbian" as an umbrella term for both lesbians and bisexual women.

Thanks for asking :)

[–][deleted] 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

  1. What are your thoughts on terms like butch, stem/futch, and femme? 1a) Do you use these terms? (If so, how would you describe yourself?)

I rarely use them. Unless to describe myself to someone online. Femme

1b) Can other groups(such as the G,B, and T) use these terms?

No? It bugs me. But at the same time I don't care enough.

  1. Do you have a "gaydar" to where you can normally tell someone else is a lesbian?

My gaydar is great lol.

  1. Are you a feminist? 5a) If yes, what type?[Ex radical feminist, intersectional, choice(?) feminist(idk wtf that is lol) ] Sure. There are injustices women as a class face. But I try not to subscribe to a victim mentality.

  2. What are some important issues that should be tackled/discussed in lesbian circles?

Stop making other women feel bad about not liking a certain kind of woman. I very rarely feel attraction towards butch women. Also, femininity isn't a bad thing. Stop shaming me while also promoting masculinity as a guide of rebelling 🙄.

  1. Do you feel as though you are a part of the LGBTQIA+ as the L? (Please explain) 10a) As the L, do you feel supported by the other letters?

No. But I also don't care enough for "support".

11b) What is a good way to support the L? 12c) Thoughts on "Leave out the L"?

It's great. We didn't really get help to be begin with so let us leave in peace.

  1. How do you feel about the Trans Right Activist?

I hate it. While it seemed great in theory. It ruined a lot for women.

14.) Thoughts on "transbians"? Ugh. Just straight men.

  1. What type of discrimination do you deal with? (Online, real life, daily, etc)

Some women would be weirded out finding out I like women. As I stated in one of the previous question, some of the stuff comes from other lesbians.

  1. What are your thoughts on the following terms(and being called that or others calling themselves that): 'Queer', 'Dyke', 'Lesbo', 'Homosexual', "Gay", "Lesbian", "Same-sex attracted", and "TERF".

I hate the word queer and terf.

  1. What are your thoughts on the Lipstick lesbian & Labrys Flag?

I don't care.

  1. What is one of the MOST annoying myth stereotypes about lesbians that you hate?

The sword lesbian thing annoys me.

19) Is there a lesbian stereotype that you like or follow?(ex. Wearing plaid, short hair, etc No.

[–]WanderingElephant 6 insightful - 3 fun6 insightful - 2 fun7 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

1; 1a ; 1b: They're useful as shorthand when used between Ls but I find they're used more to stereotype by non-Ls. 2: never had gaydar, honestly just go by nail length and taste in music! 3; 3a; 3b: Yes but I dont stick to one school of feminism. Find being an L and not being a Feminist inexplicable???!! 4: Domestic violence, economic inequality and oxytocin 5; 5a; 5b : No- I feel we have always been the "less glamorous" poor relation. Recognise and promote just how badass L warriors have been, and are, for the team! Seriously, they started the riots, nursed the dying, organised, orated and right this minute...are self-funding repeated successful court cases to protect sex and sexual orientation based rights. Fricken homosexual warrior queens have always been out there - recognise and support them. 6 : TRAs are a diverse bunch. Some genuine and thoughtful, some.......not so much. 6a: Lesbians are female homosexuals. Please stop colonising shared, lived experiences you cannot understand because you have not and will not live them. Not being mean, it's just not a transbian's lived reality. Also, sexual attraction is more complicated than a genital fixation, human brains identify sex not gender. Again, just reality. What happened to respecting diversity? We are not the same, not saying we shouldn't be equal. 7: Discrimination is online and in many large organisation's inclusivity policies. Seems a whole lot of blokes still seem very comfortable telling Ls who they should sleep with. In the UK, the premier, and very powerful, LGBT+ advocacy group has someone with a full on beard as the L rep...which means the L has no rep. But saying this just means I'm not nice enough to be a woman or an L apparently (oh no! I might be a baked bean!) 8. Queer is a slur, Dyke is a slur if you're not one, a G, or a B sleeping with an L. Terf sounds like all the other names I get called when I disagree with a man. Everything else is gravy. 9. People die over flags. I dont get it. 10. Lesbians hate men. Seriously, we're all too busy saving cats for all that hate, Gary!. 10a: I really do fancy Gillian Anderson.

[–]VioletRemiCat, homosexual one 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

What are your thoughts on terms like butch, stem/futch, and femme?

I am using femme and butch when need to fast and easy describe what women I like more. Not sure what is stem and futch. Isn't STEM is for Science, Technology, Engineering and Mathematics?

Do you use these terms? (If so, how would you describe yourself?)

I would be femme right now.

Can other groups(such as the G,B, and T) use these terms?

That makes no sense. So no, it is very cringy.

Do you have a "gaydar" to where you can normally tell someone else is a lesbian?

I can predict woman being lesbian by how she looks at other women, in my eyes and how she reacts in men and women company. And that need some time, so not really a gaydar. That's it.

Are you a feminist?

Yes.

If yes, what type?[Ex radical feminist, intersectional, choice(?) feminist(idk wtf that is lol) ]

Any feminism is radical feminism, so radical feminist. Intersectional feminism and Liberal feminism nowadays are all about men, veganism, racism and everything but women. Choice feminism is victim blaming, it says that if woman is in slavery and not running away - it is her fault. So stupid thing.

I hate women's separatism, it is just running away from troubles - if women isolate themselves from men, it will not fix anything at all, and it is closing eyes on problems of other women, who can't isolate themselves.

What are some important issues that should be tackled/discussed in lesbian circles?

Do you feel as though you are a part of the LGBTQIA+ as the L? (Please explain)

No, and never felt. I felt myself part of LGB for a short period of time, but never as part of LGBT or LGBTQ+. Why? They just ignore lesbians - check Stonewall reports, some years they don't even mention lesbians at all.

As the L, do you feel supported by the other letters?

No. I know few good gay men and bisexual women, who are supporting us and me personally, but they are more of an exception to the rules. Gay men in general only starting to help, when problem start hurting them as well (like they ignored "transbians" for years, until "fujoshi" started attacking them). Funny enough, but even hated by me "lesbian feminists" (who are just straight women-separatists") are often faster coming to help than GBTQ+, even when I disagree.

What is a good way to support the L?

Recognise us as homosexual female humans, exclusively same sex attracted and remind about this to anyone who says differently.

Remove lesbian porn categories. Say to straight and bi women who are kissing girls to "start looking hotter" to their men - to stop doing that, and call out that they are not lesbians, but bisexual at best.

Thoughts on "Leave out the L"?

You mean "Get the L out"? It is needed to show our problems and remind world how underrepresented we are and that we are under heavy attack.

Should L quit LGB? I don't think so. Should L quit LGBT+? Yes.

How do you feel about the Trans Right Activist?

Extremely homophobic and misogynist movement. Sometimes I feeling it being much worse than conservative homophobia. Especially furious the "trans get out of jail card".

Thoughts on "transbians"?

Straight males, who want to coerce and gaslight young lesbians into sex with them (I know cases of such, heartbreaking stories).

What type of discrimination do you deal with? (Online, real life, daily, etc)

Right now? Mostly online or in dating apps, from lesbophobic people or transbians.

In general - lived through everything.

What are your thoughts on the following terms(and being called that or others calling themselves that):

'Queer'

Was a slur, still a slur, used here as slur to call people sometimes.

'Dyke'

Was a slur here, not used as such anymore. I've heard many american lesbians using it and thinking it is reclaimed now. So I guess I am fine with it.

'Lesbo'

It mostly used in derogotory or dehumanizing phrases in our language. On English I am fine with it.

'Homosexual'

Homosexual woman is what I am. It is medical descriptive term, nothing can be bad in this.

"Gay"

Gay is for men. Gay woman - fine with it.

"Lesbian"

I am one, yes.

"Same-sex attracted"

I am fine with it and it is descriptive. Nice to use when speaking about what unites LGB. However, I know it was used by christian conservatives against homosexual people, so I am not using it too often.

"TERF"

Dehumanizing slur used to attack and silence any woman who is saying "no" to a dick. Either dick as an organ or dick as a person.

What are your thoughts on the Lipstick lesbian & Labrys Flag?

I love Labrys flag. Violet as violets, symbol of women's love to each other. I love violet color really much.

Labrys to show that we aren't going away without a fight.

Triangle as a reminder that we are still underground and branded as bigoted or lesser - just for refusing penises in a penis centric society.

What is one of the MOST annoying myth stereotypes about lesbians that you hate?

That we just haven't found the right dick yet. That we hate men and because of that lesbians. That we just have trauma with penises. That lesbian sex always involves penetrating, and that non-penetrative sex is "not real sex". That only butch or ugly/fat women can be lesbians, and beautiful women can't.

Is there a lesbian stereotype that you like or follow?(ex. Wearing plaid, short hair, etc)

I want to find really good woman with whom I will be happy to move live together after the first date! I have an eye on one ;)

[–]Elvira95Viva la figa 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Do I know this girl?

[–]VioletRemiCat, homosexual one 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I am pretty sure you have mirrors in your house~

[–]Elvira95Viva la figa 7 insightful - 2 fun7 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Awwwww

[–]SkinnyVanilla 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

1. What are your thoughts on terms like butch, stem/futch, and femme?

I have known women who use butch or femme to describe themselves, but not stem/futch. They strike me as old-fashioned.

1a) Do you use these terms? (If so, how would you describe yourself?)

I don't really identify with any of these terms myself, though my wife sometimes uses them situationally to refer to one or both of us, or to describe other women she knows.

1b) Can other groups(such as the G,B, and T) use these terms?

I don't really care. Again, I think they're old-fashioned, and they aren't important to me as a part of lesbian identity (anymore).

2. Do you have a "gaydar" to where you can normally tell someone else is a lesbian?

No, not really, unless someone has gone out of their way to use a variety of traditional signifiers

3. Are you a feminist?

A few years ago I would have said no, but now I think I am, or at least am on the road to becoming one

3a) If yes, what type?[Ex radical feminist, intersectional, choice(?) feminist(idk wtf that is lol) ]

My understanding of feminism is that there are issues of sex-based oppression or inequality that have a deleterious effect on women's health, their access to opportunity, and their treatment by wider society, and that those are issues that are important to me to work at fixing. I think that race, disability status and other factors that affect some but not all women can also exacerbate those inequalities and that should not be ignored or minimized. I do not think that sex work is empowering for the vast majority of women who find themselves doing it, and that to frame it as such is harmful. I'm not prepared to label myself into any specific type of feminism because I would like to be prepared to ally myself with anyone whose values align with my own on any particular issue, even if I disagree with them on other issues.

4. What are some important issues that should be tackled/discussed in lesbian circles?

I'm not a part of any lesbian circles anymore. Except for here, I don't really engage with "the community" at all anymore, although I was quite active in an irl group when I was younger. I feel very disconnected from lesbians as a whole these days, surely in part because I don't want to join either a "terf group" or a "wlw inclusive group" and there doesn't seem to be an option for "lesbians who don't want to talk about transgender stuff but also maintain a group that is actually only lesbians"

5. Do you feel as though you are a part of the LGBTQIA+ as the L? (Please explain)

5a) As the L, do you feel supported by the other letters?

In my real life, yes. Gay and bisexual men and bisexual women have been part of my support network since forever and I've never personally felt any sense of division from them.

5b) What is a good way to support the L?

I feel that the best way for me to support the Gs and Bs is to stand behind them when they speak for themselves, and stand up for them when others speak or act against them. That's what I would appreciate in kind.

5c) Thoughts on "Leave out the L"?

I totally get it. I'm not too concerned about joining that specific movement myself, but I completely understand lesbians who are sick of lesbian concerns being minimized and lesbian issues going unaddressed deciding to forge out without attaching themselves to a larger group.

6. How do you feel about the Trans Right Activist?

They're steamrolling over homosexuals and bisexuals and making all of our spaces and all of our organizations about them and their issues, and demonizing us in the process.

6a.) Thoughts on "transbians"?

See above.

7. What type of discrimination do you deal with? (Online, real life, daily, etc)

Online: I don't talk about being a lesbian online much anymore except here. I've gotten banned and/or patronizingly corrected for being firmly and openly homosexual and clear in my definition of that, and I just don't have it in me to argue my existence or the meaning of lesbianism with internet randos.

8. What are your thoughts on the following terms(and being called that or others calling themselves that): 'Queer', 'Dyke', 'Lesbo', 'Homosexual', "Gay", "Lesbian", "Same-sex attracted", and "TERF".

I don't care for "Queer," I think it frequently means a straight person who wants to feel like a part of something, or a very young gay person, and I don't identify with it at all.

"Dyke" and "Lesbo" and "Lesbian" are lesbians' words to describe themselves. I lose respect for anyone who isn't a lesbian and uses these words for themselves.

"Same-sex attracted" makes me think of Mormons, but I'll be damned if it hasn't become a more useful term in the last little while.

9. What are your thoughts on the Lipstick lesbian & Labrys Flag?

I like the rainbow flag. I don't really care about the others.

10. What is one of the MOST annoying myth stereotypes about lesbians that you hate?

That we are ugly.

10a) Is there a lesbian stereotype that you like or follow?(ex. Wearing plaid, short hair, etc)

Not really. I did cut my hair short this year, but not to look more lesbionic. It just suits my face shape.

[–]HelloMomo 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

  1. What are your thoughts on terms like butch, stem/futch, and femme? I've recently been reading Boots of Leather, Slippers of Gold, which is a great book about the butch/femme dynamic in it's heyday (40s, 50s, 60s). It's made me realize how much I didn't understand the terms before (and how most girls from my generation don't either). The biggest thing is that they weren't "identities" in the modern sense. They were roles, a social system. And yes, they were pretty strictly binary. Today, because there's not really a lesbian community anymore, I don't think "butch" and "femme" really exist anymore... at least not in the way they used to.
  2. Do you have a "gaydar" to where you can normally tell someone else is a lesbian? I'd give it a 2 out of 3.
  3. Are you a feminist? I'm really on board with almost all the ideas of radical feminism. But the attitudes that radfem corners of the internet seem to produce, and the misandry and the cynicism? I find those pretty distasteful.
  4. What are some important issues that should be tackled/discussed in lesbian circles? I think the #1 priority is protecting the young girls who are being pressured and guilted into thinking they need to accept dick. And #2 is the young girls who are being convinced that they need drugs and plastic surgery.
  5. Do you feel as though you are a part of the LGBTQIA+ as the L? As the L, do you feel supported by the other letters? I feel half-in half-out. I'd love to be all the way out, but I kind of doubt how feasible that is. As for the others... I've seen a lot of gay men being great bros lately, and I think that's awesome. It makes feel all happy and full of camaraderie. (In particular, shout out to Fred Sargent! What a hero!) As a voting block, bisexuals are being real dicks lately, although there are tons of individual bisexuals who are amazing. Categorically, I actually feel worse for the bi's than anyone else. The TRA bis are making bisexuals as a whole look bad, giving them a bad name. I think this is going to make things worse for bisexuals overall for a long time to come. When I think of young bisexuals today, growing up in the midst of all this, my heart breaks for them.
  6. How do you feel about the Trans Right Activist? It is so easy to be so angry. But I really do believe in compassion for our fellow humans, and that internet polarization never helps any issue. I try to remember that most of them aren't villainous masterminds; they're mentally ill people, caught up in a wave of group-think.
  7. What type of discrimination do you deal with? (Online, real life, daily, etc) Rarely. Yes, the situation is dire at the moment, but I've never been beat up for it. I've never even had anyone say shit to my face. I'm not The Most Oppressed Ever; this is good, I'm glad, and I should acknowledge it.
  8. What are your thoughts on the following terms (and being called that or others calling themselves that): 'Queer', 'Dyke', 'Lesbo', 'Homosexual', "Gay", "Lesbian", "Same-sex attracted", and "TERF". Out of the "old school slurs," the only one I've ever heard used IRL was "that's so gay." So if "has been used as a slur" was a line I wanted to draw in the sand, I'd have to throw almost all those words out. But it's not. So I'm fine with most of them. "Queer" is a bullshit word not because it was a slur, but because it's vague AF and not useful for clear communication. TERF I'm a bit iffy about, because it's currently being used so violently, but I do have a real fondness for it when it's used in an in-group way ("terven covens" and the like).
  9. What are your thoughts on the Lipstick lesbian & Labrys Flag? Don't like the pink one because it's just too pink and hyper-feminine for me. The constant changing also is bad. I like the Labrys because it's serious lesbians, scary lesbians, and that's good.
  10. What is one of the MOST annoying myth stereotypes about lesbians that you hate? Is there a lesbian stereotype that you like or follow? I adhere to "lesbians can't sit normal." I constantly sit with one knee up. I remember my mom chiding me for sitting at the dinner table like that as a kid. I've even driven that way, with my non-driving foot tucked up.

[–]LesbianInExile 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

  1. I would occasionally use the term butch or femme to describe how someone dresses but I don't view them as identities and I don't identify as any of them.
  2. I don't think so, not as a mystical inner sense anyway. I might pick up on some obvious cues.
  3. I got involved in radical feminism and lesbian feminism for a while and it left me quite disillusioned and less sure about feminism tbh. I'm not a radical feminist and I don't think I would meet their standards of what a feminist is - but I do believe in equality for women and I don't think we are there yet and I would get involved in causes to tackle injustices.
    1. In regular lesbian circles we need a civilised conversation about the trans issue but we also need to discuss the other groups using the term lesbian eg transbians' wives, some bi women, political lesbians - and the queering of the word lesbian to mean either anyone with any degree of attraction to women or just whatever you want it to mean, if you like the word and feel it fits you, just take it etc. 5a. I feel part of the LGB but any of the letters after that aren't sexual orientations and in some cases are contrary to the whole idea of homosexuality (ie same sex attraction). With the G and the B, I think it has been a mixed bag ie we have always had some differences but we have common ground as well and generally I think things were pretty good before the whole queer thing took off.
      5b. I think ways to support the L are defend exclusive same sex attraction and don't use the word lesbian for people who are not exclusively same-sex attracted women. 5c. I'm not sure if "Leave out the L" is a specific campaign. I think the L, G and B should work together and defend each other at this time. I support having joint LGB groups, events etc - but I think we should also be able to have our own separate groups and events.
  4. I differentiate Trans Rights Activists from trans people generally as they are extremists. I guess my view of them as individuals would depend on who they really are - eg the middle-aged straight male incel who transitions and then gets angry and threatening when lesbians won't have sex with him is different from the teenage lesbian who got brainwashed via Tumbler - but generally I'd give them all a wide berth! 6a. Transbian = straight incel man with a lesbian fetish
  5. A lot of it is more subtle these days but it's still there. The two worse groups seem to be a) the woke - eg harassing us to have sex with men who say their women or saying our sexual orientation isn't progressive enough and we need to unlearn our genital preferences b) lesbian feminists/political lesbians - it seems like once a heterosexual or bisexual woman identifies as a lesbian she feels free to say all the things about lesbians that she didn't feel she could say before but can present it as being just about a certain type of lesbian eg "born that way lesbians" or "gold star lesbians" - so comparing us to men, saying we are predators or incels etc It sometimes makes me worried that this is what a lot of people secretly think and the queer movement and lesbian feminism just give them an opportunity to voice it without being seen as lesbophobic
  6. Queer = slur and now used as such a vague term that it is meaningless, if someone says they are queer, what does that even mean? Dyke = I don't like it and would never use it, Lesbo = It's an insult although okay if a fellow lesbian uses it in a jokey way, Homosexual = That used to be the term that people who didn't like gay people would use for us but now I sometimes use it for clarity, gay = one of my preferred terms, it means exclusively same sex attracted, lesbian = as previous answer, same-sex attracted = okay, TERF = a slur but I've occasionally used it in a jokey way, I think it's been quite a successful recruitment tool for radical feminists which probably isn't what the person who came up with it intended.
  7. I prefer the rainbow flag - without the extra trans stuff on it. I'd never heard of either of these other flags until the last few years. I associate the labrys flag with lesbian feminists and political lesbians so wouldn't use it.
  8. Based on encountering radical feminists, that we hate men and love all women. Also that we are obsessed with women's sexual history and lesbians being "gold stars" - it's always other groups I hear using that term to have a go at lesbians and it's a (deliberate?) misunderstanding of us not wanting bi and straight women co-opting our language.

[–]votkriscan 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Hey! I'd love to participate if it's still not too late to do so. This really does look like an interesting questionnaire. 😃

(Part 1)

1. What are your thoughts on terms like butch, stem/futch, and femme? I do appreciate these terms to describe the various lesbian types and I feel they are somewhat needed as well. Over where I am, the dating community is roughly divided into Butch/Femme, Femme/Femme and Butch/Butch. Each has it's own tastes, outlook of women and expectations. So, it's important to have some understanding and not assume everyone is universal. Even bisexual women within the women's dating community also sometimes sort themselves following these ranges. For example, stricter Femme/Femme bisexuals tend to align along with lesbian Femme/Femme ideology. That said, it's not compulsory for lesbians to put themselves into any one category. Some lesbians don't feel they fit in either and that's fine.

1a) Do you use these terms? (If so, how would you describe yourself?) Yes, I do. I identify as a Femme lesbian, and am part of the Femme/Femme dating demographic.

1b) Can other groups(such as the G,B, and T) use these terms? It'd be really strange for gay and bi men to use these terms, irregardless if they are normal gay/bi men or a part of those who desire to transition. It'd also cause a lot of confusion as people would have to differentiate whether you are talking about a man or a woman. Thankfully, gay/bi men seem to have no desire for such things and they have their own gay male terms.

I have no opposition to bisexual women who are active within the lesbian/bi woman's dating community using these terms. This is because bisexual simply stands for your orientation and has nothing to do with what type you are. You can be Femme or Butch in appearance and you can like either, and women will be attracted or dis-attracted to you, plus relationships can be different, based on that. However, bisexual women who have left the women's dating community and are monogamous with men should not be using these terms, as they are for special dating dynamics between women only.

Straight trans have no business using any of these terms, as these are special dating dynamics for women only. This is due to the different natures and socialization of women in comparison to men. Straight men have their own outlook which can never be changed, and heterosexual pairings have their preferred dynamics and attraction which is not always the same as the lesbian one.

Do you have a "gaydar" to where you can normally tell someone else is a lesbian? Gaydar is not particularly relevant for me as I'm more highly attracted to conventionally attractive women, and they aren't any different from straight women if they are not in a setting where they could freely be out. That said, some chapstick types can be a bit pingeable as gay.

Are you a feminist? Yes.

If yes, what type?[Ex radical feminist, intersectional, choice(?) feminist] I would say that I'm the type which supports women human rights. To be treated like a human. To be able to go to school, get a job, own property, have her own hobbies and life, be treated fairly at the workplace. Families should not be allowed to have property rights over their daughters where they can sell them into marriage. Women should have full autonomy rights over their body and have the right to vote. There should be protection/defense against sexual assault.

One thing that differentiates between real and false over these matters is that real feminists are aware that society never wanted women to have these things. It's a partial stroke of luck that it happened due to world events and so the clock might be in danger of being wound back. It has been a mere 100 years or less since women in modern societies have the full range of these rights, and already there is backlash. From growing misogyny, to the redpill to the insidious trans and gender agenda, it's a clear attack. I do also agree with some of the radfem views that patriarchy will probably never see women as human beings.

What are some important issues that should be tackled/discussed in lesbian circles? I think lesbians should definitely put the most onus into building our own communities and not rely on mainstream/straight people to do any of that. There are some lesbians with very odd perceptions when it comes to community. There is this assumption that a community is a hive-mind where you only join if you are ever the same, or that community is strictly about marshaling a cause. But that isn't what community is. It's simply about finding kinship whenever you wish to with people who you can connect with.

Sexual orientation is unique. You see, if someone isn't of the same orientation as you, they will never truly understand, care, or get it, in the way another woman(for lesbians) who is like-minded and of the same orientation as you would. It's simply about connection and that actually gives strength. Also, lesbian communities don't have to be homogeneous groups. There can be multiple differing lesbian groups under one umbrella. Like, the dating community over where I am has Butch/Femme, Femme/Femme and Butch/Butch. Each are their own thing, and provides representation to different types of lesbians. Attractive and varying lesbian/bi couples are quite the inspiration and also make many lesbians feel at home.

I also think that some lesbians can be a bit stubborn when it comes to dating, often erroneously blaming a "small lesbian dating population" for their woes. I do believe the lesbian population is 10% and not 2%. Every-time I come across a fellow lesbian woman who isn't very successful at dating, despite really wanting a relationship, 9 out of 10 is because they themselves are not putting in effort or not putting in the right effort. Since our pool is smaller, and it's women whom you are dating, it's also means you need to take more initiative than what a straight woman has to do. Every lesbian who has done all the above and desires a relationship, I've seen them be completely successful in finding one with a bit of patience. But some lesbians can just be too stubborn to heed good advice. I think the line of thought that lesbians shouldn't have to follow mainstream dating logic "just because we are lesbians" kind of hurts more than it helps.

Do you feel as though you are a part of the LGBTQIA+ as the L? (Please explain) I do generally feel like a part of LGB. I don't have much interest in being part of the LGBTQ+ as they are against lesbians.

5a) As the L, do you feel supported by the other letters? Perhaps casually, as there is some mutual interest.

5b) What is a good way to support the L? Mutual respect mostly. Not being invasive in the lesbian/bi communities. And general freedom for lesbians. The first 50% of it really comes from the ability to have women's human rights (as I wrote above). The other 50% is where being lesbian or gay is not a criminal penalty and the freedom to create lesbian/bi content/entertainment content. That's about it. No one needs to purposely turn into lesbians or pretend there is no such thing as gender to suit us!

5c) Thoughts on "Leave out the L"? Neutral and good (if it's distancing from the malicious TQ). In the first place, we should be building our own community (as I wrote above). Gay male communities are not the same as they are men and we are not dating each other. So, it shouldn't matter if we are left in or out, as we should already be having our own lesbian community.

[–]zephyranthes 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

  1. I hate them. "Femme", now being also counterpart of "masc", is sexist and feeds the trans narrative. "Butch" is almost meaningless now as it's increasingly used to refer to women who dress conforming and sensible or like PeeWee Herman. No! A woman is "butch" if and only if she dresses and grooms like the average man and by that stands out from other women. Sensible women are not butch because they don't stand out. Women who dress tacky like PeeWee Herman aren't butch because a man wouldn't be caught dead wearing that. (a) and (b): no and no.

  2. No.

  3. I'm a Radical feminist, but I'm not particularly welcome among them in my country. They're much younger, very socially liberal, badly educated and it shows, into pop culture, hypocritical about slurs, and adhere to the doctrine of the original sin of internalized sexism. Look, if you didn't grow up with porn ads on copybooks in middle school, you have no place to armchair-psychoanalyze my hygiene routine, so shut your cinnamon pieholes. There's also a civil e-war going between liberal lesbians and radical feminist "political lesbians" (female separatists).

  4. Child adoption, pregnancy, childbirth.

  5. (a) Not as part of the acronym, although gay bros put their male privilege to good use defending same-sex attraction. (b) Drop everything after the B. (c) Probably a good idea if/when astroturfed representatives of "the G" adopt reproductive slavery as a campaign plank.

  6. TRAs are sex offenders and belong in prison. "Transbians" should be recognized as homophobic hate speech and have commensurate consequences.

  7. There are very few places where lesbians are welcome online. In real life, I mostly get crap for being female (e.g. male "colleagues" don't greet me, because most men's communities adhere to the rules of prison hierarchy and greeting a woman makes them "prison bottoms").

  8. Queer is a slur. Dyke and lesbo are self-deprecatory and should stay so. Homosexual is fine. Lesbian is perfect but shouldn't be appropriated by people who aren't in fact lesbians. Gay is for men. "Same-sex attracted" sounds awkward. "TERF" of course is a slur. (I sometimes use "the terves", "us terves" and the adjective "terven" ironically, talking about the gender-critical community with non-members, but never about an individual person or to describe the belief in the permanence of sex, which is just common sense).

  9. The labrys is the better flag by far because it distances lesbians from the alphabet soup variety stripes.

  10. Sex toys, veganism, not wanting children, body hair, anti-science (why on earth? aren't we "supposed" to be mannish?), unhealthy lifestyle (overweight, BO, smoking, alcohol), sparklypoo in the media. Short hair as a lesbian stereotype is sexist toward women in general.

10a. I have short hair because I'd look ugly otherwise, and I wear plaid overshirts with t-shirts because of the 90s cool factor. (I actually want to learn sewing and start making and wearing skirts and blouses.)

[–]PasLagardere 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Questions

  1. What are your thoughts on terms like butch, stem/futch, and femme? 1a) Do you use these terms? (If so, how would you describe yourself?)

Not really but I don’t mind them. I would say femme in my case.

1b) Can other groups(such as the G,B, and T) use these terms?

G have their own terms I think? I don’t think a gay guy would consider himself ‘butch’, I’d find that a weird expression. For B, yes, and T, well difficult but yes as long as they identify as a woman who loves other women.

  1. Do you have a "gaydar" to where you can normally tell someone else is a lesbian?

Sometimes, however I’ve been wrong plenty of times too. 3. Are you a feminist? 3a) If yes, what type?[Ex radical feminist, intersectional, choice(?) feminist(idk wtf that is lol) ] 3b) If no, please explain your thoughts on feminism(or what ideology you follow if you do!)

Feminist as in radical man-hating? No. I believe in equal rights for women, I believe women are still treated badly in our society.

  1. What are some important issues that should be tackled/discussed in lesbian circles?

The amount of fake lesbians, The fact that Lesbian safespaces are being invaded.

  1. Do you feel as though you are a part of the LGBTQIA+ as the L? (Please explain)

Yes. I am a lesbian and so I feel part of them.

5a) As the L, do you feel supported by the other letters?

No, not in the slightest. The G are ok. B depends on the person. Is the girl in college who claims to be bi but never did anything with a woman part of the B? Every other letter just tries to oppress us or push their agenda on us. 5b) What is a good way to support the L?

Don’t push penis on us and I’m happy, also respect our safe spaces. 5c) Thoughts on "Leave out the L"?

Hahahahahah.

  1. How do you feel about the Trans Right Activist?

They are not part of the community. They are not allies, not even to real transpeople. They use their ‘gender’ as their whole personality. These people need to stay off Tumblr and get a hobby.

6a.) Thoughts on "transbians"?

\

  1. What type of discrimination do you deal with? (Online, real life, daily, etc)

Being sexualized by straight men and straight women.

  1. What are your thoughts on the following terms(and being called that or others calling themselves that): 'Queer', 'Dyke', 'Lesbo', 'Homosexual', "Gay", "Lesbian", "Same-sex attracted", and "TERF".

Terf lol. 9. What are your thoughts on the Lipstick lesbian & Labrys Flag?

No opinion. 10. What is one of the MOST annoying myth stereotypes about lesbians that you hate?

The ‘one is the man and one is the woman’ stereotype 10a) Is there a lesbian stereotype that you like or follow?(ex. Wearing plaid, short hair, etc)

My ex had short hair, I love soccer, relationships move fast.

[–]Seahorse 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Questions 1. What are your thoughts on terms like butch, stem/futch, and femme?

***I don't mind these terms, it's important to understand though that a lot of lesbians don't fall into any of these categories, I think some younger ones feel a bit lost because they aren't butch or femme.

1a) Do you use these terms? (If so, how would you describe yourself?)

***I do when describing others, not really for myself....I identify as masculine of centre but I'm not butch.

1b) Can other groups(such as the G,B, and T) use these terms?

***Not in my opinion, these are terms within lesbian culture and it's insensitive to use them if you're not really in that culture.

  1. Do you have a "gaydar" to where you can normally tell someone else is a lesbian?

Yes lol it's just a hunch (although a lot of the time it's because you want that person to be lesbian).

  1. Are you a feminist?

***I would consider myself feminist leaning, yes.

3a) If yes, what type?[Ex radical feminist, intersectional, choice(?) feminist(idk wtf that is lol) ]

***Some light flavour of radfem I guess (I can already see me using such words as offensive lol).

  1. What are some important issues that should be tackled/discussed in lesbian circles?

***Its all very highschool and negative, this has been a thing since I came out as a young lesbian decades ago. There's trends and lesbians are very susceptible to a toxic group think as yougsters.

I don't want to rag on TL, but a lot of posts there are cringeworthy.

Also, for fucks sake how is anyone remotely hating Jenny Schector compared to that complete fuckwit Shane on L Word. I'm embarrassed that lesbians universally love such an awful, self serving, narcissistic character.

  1. Do you feel as though you are a part of the LGBTQIA+ as the L? (Please explain)

***No.

Because they don't represent me or people like me anymore. Transgender people are prioritised above all else, to the detriment of everyone else. Also a certain portion of the bisexual community can behave similar to TRAs especially when it comes to us.

5a) As the L, do you feel supported by the other letters?

***My gay male mates have my back with this and always have done so.

5b) What is a good way to support the L?

***Speaking out about the injustices lesbians face, we were the canary in the coal mine with QT.

5c) Thoughts on "Leave out the L"?

***I agree with it but gay males will be next, it's better we work together.

  1. How do you feel about the Trans Right Activist?

***Personality disordered individuals given too much power. Because the medical community threw them in the "too hard basket" for treatments.

6a.) Thoughts on "transbians"?

***They can refer to themselves as that if they like, however they aren't and never will be, lesbians.

Most of them are predatory straight males.

  1. What type of discrimination do you deal with? (Online, real life, daily, etc)

***Not a lot, however I watch what I say around individuals I know are in to the QT bullshit.

  1. What are your thoughts on the following terms(and being called that or others calling themselves that): 'Queer', 'Dyke', 'Lesbo', 'Homosexual', "Gay", "Lesbian", "Same-sex attracted", and "TERF".

***It makes me feel physically ill.

I heard "TERF" in the wild a few weeks ago, luckily I was blind drunk and didn't give a shit. But if that's sober seahorse I'd have probably punched this git.

TERF is a disgusting word.

  1. What are your thoughts on the Lipstick lesbian & Labrys Flag?

***I don't give a shit about flags.

  1. What is one of the MOST annoying myth stereotypes about lesbians that you hate?

***Check above Shane from L Word. The andro hard to tame lesbian that basically treats women like shit but is elusive so is considered "attractive".

10a) Is there a lesbian stereotype that you like or follow?(ex. Wearing plaid, short hair, etc)

***Sporty lesbian which is basically me.

[–]votkriscan 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Part 2

6. How do you feel about the Trans Right Activist? Narcissistic, invasive and crazy. They don't seem to be about rights, but wanting to change everything to suit their wishes. And women are their targets for vitriol.

6a.) Thoughts on "transbians"? Not sure what to think. If they create names for themselves, it's fine actually. It's editing other people's names and things that I'm against.

7. What type of discrimination do you deal with? (Online, real life, daily, etc) Over where I am there is more mainstream discrimination against LGBT folks. However, society is modern enough that it doesn't actually effect the active freedom of LGB to lead their lives. In fact, in a backwards way, this discrimination is protecting lesbians from TQ attacks. Because over here, it's not "Terf" feminists who are loud against the TQ. It's mainstream society, conservatives and the religious. And they are equally discriminative against all the letters.

Unlike in the current hijacked anglophone state, where being abnormal is normal, and the people who are normal are considered abnormal, it isn't that way here. So, as such TQ can't come up with fake "Terf" arguments against them. This blockage cuts off their influence and also neuters them. TQ can't survive if society doesn't agree to alter reality. Whereas lesbians don't need reality to be altered, we just need to be left alone in peace. And so in peace we date and have our own stuff. 😃

8. What are your thoughts on the following terms: 'Queer', 'Dyke', 'Lesbo', 'Homosexual', "Gay", "Lesbian", "Same-sex attracted", and "TERF". "TERF" and Lesbo are slurs and should be called out on it's usage. "Queer" and Dyke are neutral areas. Dyke is an i -joke for lesbians, but often used as a slur by homophobic straight people. “Queer” is a supposed reclaimed term for homosexuals, but now, it’s used by counter-culture alternative folks, so I have no interest in using that term as it doesn’t represent lesbians. The others are normal terms for lesbians and gays, so it's no issue at all. Over where I am, we have our own lesbian slangs, so that is more commonly used than scientific terms.

9. What are your thoughts on the Lipstick lesbian & Labrys Flag? Not much thoughts. People are free to create flag designs, I guess.

10. What is one of the MOST annoying myth stereotypes about lesbians that you hate? That women can never truly love each other or be attracted to each other. The thought itself has no logic. If men are all complete character princes on white horses, perhaps I could see it as there is a relationship benefit gain. The reality is the complete opposite however.

10a) Is there a lesbian stereotype that you like or follow?(ex. Wearing plaid, short hair, etc) There isn't any for me.