You hit the nail on the head pretty much. The reason it doesn't make sense is because these TRAs don't know what the fuck they're talking about. They don't bother learning WHO is calling us masculine and the reasons behind that. Obviously there are racist white people who think black women look 'mannish' but in my experience, as a black woman, it's mainly black men I've heard calling us masculine. And it's not because they think we look like men.

Many black people are very traditional when it comes to relationships. The problem is quite a few black women have given up on having a traditional relationship because they’ve grown tired of black men who don’t step up to the plate as fathers and husbands. They’ve said ‘fuck it, I’ll do it myself’ and assumed the role as breadwinner, stopped lowering their standards, and stopped generally making themselves smaller so black men can feel bigger. Black men balked at this because now black women are out here doing things they used to rely on black men for. They don’t feel ‘manly’ anymore and their little egos can’t take it. It’s not enough that a black woman might want to date a black man, she has to need him in some way. Black women that don’t need them (or refuse to treat them like kings when they don’t deserve it) make them feel insecure so they call our independence ‘masculine’ to try and make us more submissive in order to be attractive to them. And I specify black women because they hold black women to a much stricter standard than they hold themselves and non-black women when it comes to dating. I see it all the time with black men who will happily date non-black women, but will rage at the thought of a black woman dating a non-black man. They have this idea that they own us, so when we say no to that concept the first thing they do is call us ‘too masculine.’

For non traditional black women like myself, it's less about being fed up and more about being turned off by black men's (collective) expectation that we be a certain way in order to validate them as men. The end result is the same.

They say things like ‘black women are too masculine nowadays. It’s such a turn off’ when what they really mean is ‘black women’s independence threatens me and since I don’t want to put in the work to be their equal instead of lording my manhood over them I’ll just tear them down instead.’

That particular aspect has nothing to do with black women supposedly looking like men, the way TRAs claim. It has to do with black men being misogynistic and insecure. But they don’t know that because they aren’t black, and rather than learn about what goes on in black communities they decide to talk over us instead. They’re being more racist in the process by applying their white narrative to our experiences.