Men's IssuesAny comebacks to "if a gay man likes penises, why not be with a woman that wears strap-on dildos"?

submitted by Not_a_celebrity from self.LGBDropTheT

There have been multiple TQs who told me gay men can be with women that wear strap-on dildos if they are into penises because a strap-on dildo and a penis feel the same way, are attached to a human, etc. "Why not be with a woman that wears a strap-on dildo then? They're the same thing". Don't really know what to say to that because it seems like they're right? That strap-on dildos and penises at least feel the same way. Do you have any comebacks to that?

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[–]haveanicedaytoo💗💜💙 42 insightful - 38 fun42 insightful - 37 fun43 insightful - 38 fun -  (4 children)

"If a gay man likes penises, why not get fucked by a gorilla?"

[–]oofreesouloo⚡super lesbian⚡ 14 insightful - 6 fun14 insightful - 5 fun15 insightful - 6 fun -  (0 children)

OMG, this comment made my day 🤣

[–]Elvira95Viva la figa 11 insightful - 10 fun11 insightful - 9 fun12 insightful - 10 fun -  (2 children)

Apparently AIDS started because someone did something similar....

[–]fuck_reddit 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

It was chimpanzees...

[–]RedditHatesLesbiansHomosexual Not Queer 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I thought it was because a hunter cut himself on a contaminated spear?

Did I just whoosh myself? :p

[–]haveanicedaytoo💗💜💙 47 insightful - 6 fun47 insightful - 5 fun48 insightful - 6 fun -  (2 children)

You are not obligated to explain yourself to people who are using disingenuous arguments to elicit a 'gotcha!' You don't fuck a woman with a strap-on for the same reason that you don't fuck a toddler with a strap on, a 100 year old grandpa with a strap on, an ugly person with a strap on, someone you're not attracted to with a strap on, all the billions of people in the world with a strap on. You only fuck people that you are attracted to. End of story. Stop playing these games with people who will keep moving the goalposts and paint you into a corner. You don't have to engage with them. They are rapists.

[–]deliciousdogfoodmy name isnt a puppyplay reference i swear 22 insightful - 6 fun22 insightful - 5 fun23 insightful - 6 fun -  (0 children)

Don't use that toddler argument on these people. I'm unfortunately no longer convinced it's as airtight as it should be.

[–]ArthnoldManacatsaman🇬🇧🌳🟦 13 insightful - 4 fun13 insightful - 3 fun14 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

You are not obligated to explain yourself to people who are using disingenuous arguments to elicit a 'gotcha!'

[–]8bitgay 45 insightful - 1 fun45 insightful - 0 fun46 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I've said this on this sub already, but: gay men can buy dildos too lol I dunno why transmen always use dildos as a "gotcha" argument as if they were the only ones that have access to dildos.

First of all, dildos and real dicks aren't the same thing. That should be obvious to anyone. But sure, even if you're into dildos, if you're a gay man there's no reason why you'd want to play with dildos with a woman. You can either play with another man who has a real dick, or play by yourself.

[–]CaptainMooseEx-Bathhouse Employee 40 insightful - 2 fun40 insightful - 1 fun41 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Because we are also attracted to the men attached to the penises. Body and face. We don't find women sexually attractive. Their touch isn't experienced positively. No matter how many steroids they take, or surgeries they have.

[–][deleted] 37 insightful - 4 fun37 insightful - 3 fun38 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

They are not at all the same. In the slightest. A strap-on dildo is not attached in the same way a penis is, it doesn't have the same texture, it cannot ejaculate or get an erection, it cannot move organically, it is a piece of plastic - not at all the real thing. I am not going to suck or jerk off plastic, thank you. I wouldn't imagine it would be that interesting or stimulating for the woman either. And plus, the vast majority of gay men want (if not require) a man attached to the penis as much the penis itself.

There seems to be this weird "thing" in the TQ+ circles to justify gay men sleeping against their sexuality where they believe that gay men either only care about the dick, and thus should have no problem sleeping with MtFs or women with a strap-on. Or, that they only care about the man, and thus should have no problem sleeping with FtMs. Can they not understand that it is, in fact, both?

[–]Q-Continuum-kin 30 insightful - 7 fun30 insightful - 6 fun31 insightful - 7 fun -  (0 children)

So is the only reason to call yourself gay is because you need some foreign object stuck in your ass?

I have same sex attraction. Not a need to have random cylinders shoved inside me.

[–]hetisachoice 24 insightful - 8 fun24 insightful - 7 fun25 insightful - 8 fun -  (5 children)

A dildo has no nerve endings.

If a heterosexual man likes vaginas and breasts, why not be with a man who wears strap-on vaginas and breasts?

[–]Elvira95Viva la figa 12 insightful - 10 fun12 insightful - 9 fun13 insightful - 10 fun -  (3 children)

There are strapon vagina? Why nobody has talked to me about them?

[–]hetisachoice 7 insightful - 5 fun7 insightful - 4 fun8 insightful - 5 fun -  (2 children)

No one asked until now.

[–]Elvira95Viva la figa 11 insightful - 12 fun11 insightful - 11 fun12 insightful - 12 fun -  (1 child)

https://sexyshoptorino.com/prodotto/vagina-strap-on/

Really exists. Awesome.

It's in italian. It says that if a man is tired of fucking his partner vagina, he can fuck a fake vagina LMAO

[–]marmorsymphata 5 insightful - 6 fun5 insightful - 5 fun6 insightful - 6 fun -  (0 children)

Wait so it fits over the asshole? Fascinating...

[–]SillyMoneyGoose 26 insightful - 3 fun26 insightful - 2 fun27 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

I stopped caring about this kind of arguments when I realised that they can argue and rationalise all they want, but a penis is still a penis, and a dildo is still a dildo. If you’re someone who really would like to adopt a dog, but can’t for some reason, you might put a leash on an orange, for example, and walk it around like it was a dog, pet it, feed it (or try to lol), and meet only kind people who will pretend that’s really a dog because they don’t want to see you hurt. But in the end even if everyone agrees that’s a dog, it still won’t be, actually. Reality is not what anyone agrees it is, it’s what is materially there. Don’t know if I explained myself clearly. This actually makes me sad for people with dysphoria in a way, not gonna lie, because I can empathise, but we can’t all agree gravity pulls objects up from the ground and get angry when that doesn’t make it happen for real :/. I think trans people should just accept that some people might be attracted to them, and accept them and love them the way they are, but stop being aggressive demanding that ALL people look at a dildo and see a penis instead. Or that the categories of people they WANT to be attracted to them will do that if pressured enough, because that’s not looking for love, but for validation. People who love someone might want to validate them, or people who are kind, or think the same way, but not everyone is going to, and no one owes validation to anyone

[–]fuck_reddit 25 insightful - 3 fun25 insightful - 2 fun26 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

You can buy a dildo, you can't buy a functioning penis (at least not legally or cheaply). If they say they're the same thing, tell them they're delusional.

[–]CuntWorshiperWomenholic full time | vagina fetishist part-time 22 insightful - 6 fun22 insightful - 5 fun23 insightful - 6 fun -  (0 children)

Hold on, wait a minute.

If “a woman with strap on is the same as a man” therefore gay men should like her then when they say a male trans penis is “just like a strap on” then does that mean they acknowledge male transgenders ‘transbias’ are men? Cause their male peepee is just like a meat strap on but strap on is just like a meat pee pee.. wokies have to choose, or strap on makes you a man or strap on makes you a woman. Mental gymnastics. That bs is so dense not even they themselves can follow.

[–][deleted] 22 insightful - 1 fun22 insightful - 0 fun23 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Being gay isn't about being attracted to penises specifically; it's about being attracted to men. As in males. Not women who identify as men. The penis itself is a part of being male but isn't the only thing that makes a man male.

[–]No_ 18 insightful - 6 fun18 insightful - 5 fun19 insightful - 6 fun -  (0 children)

It’s not a penis if you have to call it a strap on.

[–]hufflepuff-poet 18 insightful - 4 fun18 insightful - 3 fun19 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

It's ridiculous that this statement requires a comeback other than laughing at how freaking dumb it is 🤦🏾‍♀️

A dildo is not the same thing as a dick, especially to a gay man! 😭🙃 We are not all living in the same reality!

[–]EzukiRaen 17 insightful - 4 fun17 insightful - 3 fun18 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

A penis and a dildo are similar but, they are not the same. It's like 12 vs 21. Both numbers are comprised of a 1 and a 2. In this sense they are similar but, they mean two different things. Likewise, even though a penis and a dildo are similar in shape, one is a thing that is natural/biological and the other is a man-made replica.

As for comebacks, just flip it on them. Use their logic against them by asking a similar question but reversed. E.g. "If straight women like penises, why don't they just be with women that wear strap-on dildos?"

They might counter this by saying that a penis is needed to make children. You can counter that by using another page from their playbook by saying, "Not every man is able to have biological kids so, why shouldn't a straight woman just be with a woman with a dildo?" At this point, they should be able to see how their original statement, i.e. a penis and a dildo being "the same thing", was wrong.

If all else fails just say that as a gay man, you aren't interested in women and that a woman with a strap-on does not equal a man with a penis.

[–]Elvira95Viva la figa 17 insightful - 1 fun17 insightful - 0 fun18 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It's the same argument with lesbians. The point is a phallos shaped sex toy isn't a dick. So, you can like it without liking dick, but if you desire a dick, you want a real one, not some silicone thing

[–]reluctant_commenter 17 insightful - 1 fun17 insightful - 0 fun18 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

That strap-on dildos and penises at least feel the same way. Do you have any comebacks to that?

(NSFW) Not a gay man but. No offense, semen fucking repulses me. At least a sex toy does not produce that stuff. I will assume that is more of a "feature, not a negative" for gay men, lol. There really is no substitute for bodily fluids, with a sex toy; transmen can't produce that.

[–]Three_oneFourWanted for thought crimes in countless ideologies 13 insightful - 4 fun13 insightful - 3 fun14 insightful - 4 fun -  (2 children)

Not to mention the fact that strap ons and real penises absolutely do not feel the same. As blood flows through a real penis with varying pressures, it is possible to feel the cock pulse. A dildo doesn't do that.

It's like comparing a doctor with a davinci machine vs a clown with a butcher knife and saying that they can both do the same surgery just as well

[–]littlerbear 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Cock pulse is AWESOME.

[–]Three_oneFourWanted for thought crimes in countless ideologies 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

That is true

[–]censorshipment 9 insightful - 15 fun9 insightful - 14 fun10 insightful - 15 fun -  (0 children)

Tell 'em you want a naturally cream-filled dick.

[–]Houseplant 15 insightful - 3 fun15 insightful - 2 fun16 insightful - 3 fun -  (2 children)

I don’t wanna is an acceptable answer here. It’s rapey and gross to argue why someone should actually consider sleeping with someone they don’t want to. It’s also crazy homophobic to tell a homosexual person that if someone has the right plastic accessories, they can have the sex other people deem acceptable.

[–]lovelyspearmintLesbeing a lesbian 14 insightful - 4 fun14 insightful - 3 fun15 insightful - 4 fun -  (1 child)

But don't you know that homophobia ceases to exist as soon as a transperson is involved. A transperson or trans ally can't possibly be homophobic.

[–]Houseplant 14 insightful - 4 fun14 insightful - 3 fun15 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

Woops! Nobody is more oppressed than the trans! So evil of me to suggest a transgender person could do something wrong!! It’s the terrible gays that are phobic for not being hetero!

[–]Three_oneFourWanted for thought crimes in countless ideologies 15 insightful - 1 fun15 insightful - 0 fun16 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Because we want real dick, we can get dildos on our own, and we can even use dildos with real men if we want. My sex life isn't so dry that I'd be tempted to pretend a woman is a man just to get some action, I'd rather wait for someone with a healthy mental state and use dildos on my own until then.

[–]oofreesouloo⚡super lesbian⚡ 11 insightful - 5 fun11 insightful - 4 fun12 insightful - 5 fun -  (0 children)

Lmao.

[–]dilsencySame-sex community 12 insightful - 2 fun12 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

But we're the ones "reducing people to their genitals", right?

[–]PenseePansyBio-Sex or Bust 11 insightful - 2 fun11 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

As the other commentators have ably demonstrated, there are any number of good comebacks to this (because the TQs' position is wrong in every sense of the word). But just in case a wider selection might be helpful, here's some more!:

  • "No means no"/"No is a complete sentence"/"What part of 'no' don't you understand?" Followed (if necessary) by: "And anyone who doesn't accept that is a rapist." Because they are: refusing to take no for an answer re: sex is what makes someone a rapist. Optional: "And if there's one type of person that I find completely repulsive, it's rapists."
  • "If strap-ons are indistinguishable from penises, why don't these women just have sex with each other? Newsflash: women have buttholes, too! So why do they insist on pursuing gay men? Sounds like they know damn well that there's a difference. They don't want a strap-on themselves, or just any old butthole: only a specifically MALE body will do. So they should have no problem with the fact that I/we feel exactly the same way."
  • "If you have to argue someone into having sex with you... stop right there. What the hell are you doing? If you succeed, what's gonna happen? They'll go through it feeling repulsed by your body and personality. Hating the whole experience; hating you. Does that sound at all appealing? If not, why are you even doing this? If so, you're sick, and deserve to have people avoid you like the plague."
  • I, as someone who is attracted to both men and women, not only totally disagree with the "strap-on/dildo = penis" argument, but am STRONGLY biased in favor of the latter. Even though I like the ladies at least as much as the gents. And many of my reasons are the same ones that a gay man would give. Strap-ons/dildos can't be responsive; they're inert. They don't register arousal, much less go through escalating stages of it; they can't provide gratifying evidence that (as Mae West once put it) a dude is happy to see you. They're not fully-interactive. There's a whole dimension that's missing with them. Similarly, they can't FEEL anything; you can't give them pleasure, and they can't share yours. Also, I want intimacy with this person, their body; I want to be having sex with THEM... not this thing; an inanimate object, that keeps the human being I'm trying to be as close as possible with at a physical remove. Which isn't to say that I will absolutely never, ever use them-- that'd depend on circumstances-- but, without reference to a specific person/situation, in and of themselves? NOT appealing. At all. Yes, even with women (and, god knows, especially THESE women! With or without phallic accessories. EWWWW).

[–]MarkJeffersonTight defenses and we draw the line 10 insightful - 2 fun10 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

I think I had one answer to this before with the comment:

who would want to do something with an object that doesn't feel anything? That gives no sensation to the wearer. Who would lick a prosthetic ear?

Half of the thrill in MSM penetrative sex is giving pleasure as well as receiving it. Inanimate plastic phalluses only give physical pleasure one way. The wearer won't be experiencing an orgasm from the direct contact with the receiver. It's pointless to give one a blowjob. What is gonna 'cum' outta it? Nothing. They don't even feel like a warm penis anyway. They don't swell and shrink due to varying levels of arousal and stimulation. There are no genuine balls to play with. And worst of all, they won't be attached to a man who had it their entire life like a 5th limb, but instead only sometimes equipped by a woman with a goatee. Oh, so hot.

[–]Not_a_celebrity[S] 4 insightful - 3 fun4 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 3 fun -  (1 child)

I really like your comment so I though of asking another question

They don't even feel like a warm penis anyway.

What would you say if these homophobes were like "you can warm dildos up with warm water, etc or you can get dildos that electronically heat themselves up, so they become warm like a penis"? Do you have an answer to that?

There are sites on how to warm a dildo up: https://medium.com/@thedodil/heated-dildo-warm-temperature-play-dd2d7a2433bc

https://sextoycollective.com/temperature-play

Also, out of curiosity, are you a guy?

There's a user named mark I know, that mark is a woman. You two have the same first name, write well in your comments, etc like you're writers. I don't know if you're the same user so I'm asking

[–]MarkJeffersonTight defenses and we draw the line 4 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

What would you say if these homophobes were like "you can warm dildos up with warm water, etc or you can get dildos that electronically heat themselves up, so they become warm like a penis"? Do you have an answer to that?

I would say(sarcastically) I feel all warm and fuzzy knowing that warmth had to be pre-induced or generated by electrical resistance from a bunch of wires and such running through rubber/silicone. Who needs an icky, hairy, blood-filled sex organ anyway? Gross.

Seriously though, I would ask them why "gay" transmen don't go for other "gay" transmen with strap-ons? If you just ignore all the differences, aren't they basically the same thing in the end? A roughly rod-shaped thing you can use for penetration? I'm surprised(I'm not) every straight guy who is insecure about the size of their equipment doesn't simply use those for sex with women. Put-on Presto! you have a really big penis. Who needs pills, surgery, or Jelqing?

Also, out of curiosity, are you a guy?

Yeah.

[–]julesburm1891 10 insightful - 2 fun10 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Saying there’s no difference between a dick and a dildo is like saying there’s no difference between a vagina and a flashlight.

[–]fuckupaddamsBisexual Terve 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Bruh no they don't

[–]powpowpowpow 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Lets normalize not having to explain why we are not attracted to x, there is no need for an explanation. No is no and thats it

[–]PassionateIntensity 4 insightful - 3 fun4 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

No they fucking don't. I swear these arguments are made by virgins.

[–]SkinnyVanilla 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

"Because I don't want to."

That's the only reason that matters.