Saw a friend share this unironically

emptiedriver · 2022-11-22T11:36:10+00:00

both are pretty gross. There was a whole "reveal" of the subculture of child beauty pageants in the 90s bc it was considered weird by most mainstream people and maybe kind of creepy.

But there is no need to create another weird-maybe-creepy subculture that might traumatize children, and definitely no need to try to assimilate it into our standard popular culture. Beauty pageants and drag shows can both wait until after puberty, if people want to look into it. Let kids be kids.

emptiedriver · 2022-11-03T08:34:53+00:00

I don't know exactly what her book says, but how do you guys see capitalism as something which can just continue in its current form without end?

Oil is, by definition, a limited resource. BP projected 53 years to go at current rates, https://www.ibtimes.co.uk/world-energy-day-2014-how-much-oil-left-how-long-will-it-last-1471200 in 2014. That may seem like enough for you, but if you have kids or grandkids or know people thinking about having kids, 2067 is not an imaginary date anymore. Anyone born now will definitely be dealing with this.

And yes, you can say, "we can find more oil, we figured out fracking and deep sea drilling, we'll find some other method!" - but that isn't the point. That only extends the problem a few more years. It is going to run out. It's made of fossils, and until we have another few million years for fossils to turn into oil, we are using up the last of a limited thing. It might make a lot of money, because rich people will pay the most to have it, but it's not a fair way to divide a scarce and valuable resource.

I don't think anyone wants to "overthrow" or reject the rule of law. People want to reign in the greed & competitive materialism that is driving the overuse of our limited resources and find a better way to organize and distribute our shared potential.

Maybe it's impossible because humans are too corrupt, but all the same, capitalism is going to have to go through a major overhaul as the reality of oil scarcity becomes more obvious, and we can either try to plan for it, or deal with a lot of chaos, war & terror.

emptiedriver · 2022-07-23T09:19:38+00:00

probably just trying to milk donations to his gofundme or whatever. I'm sure he makes most of his living through the internet or some community of tattoo enthusiasts not by working in an office or driving a bus. He made that decision and has to have known what it would mean, and any doctors or loved ones who helped him achieve his bizarre, unnecessary, and probably harmful modifications knew it too

emptiedriver · 2022-07-18T10:53:41+00:00

the category "incel" is a self-defined group. You decide you belong to it by saying that you can't get something that you think you have some kind of entitlement to. But sex is an interaction between two people, not a thing anyone deserves or has a right to. To act like you should be granted sex is to completely dismiss the other human being who's part of the relationship. Even if it's casual sex there's a choice made, consent to enjoy something together - nothing's being withheld if you aren't having sex. It's like not having friends or no one coming to your parties or liking your music. That's on you.

No one hates people who are born into a category of "incel" but if you define yourself as an incel, you are saying you're a self-pitying asshole who has no respect for women's self-determination. Kinda putting yourself in an unlikable group.

your list of why to hate other groups is pretty unbearably racist, btw, might want to tone that down too

emptiedriver · 2022-07-17T15:54:31+00:00

First of all, I said, the argument I'm seeing more commonly isn't that the cops should have been heroes but that this proves that the answer is not having more cops around but rather that we just need to get guns out of the hands of the public. Having more cops & more guns does not do any good, because it would take acts of bravery and sacrifice far beyond the call of duty for there even to be a chance at anyone being saved, and even if they tried they would probably fail.

Should they have tried? As you say, they would be running a major risk and probably just "join the casualty list". But, 21 civilians were killed, so one could argue that someone who takes on a job that includes within its job description this kind of risk is a more acceptable target than a child or a schoolteacher, so if more cops were killed but less children, perhaps that would be acceptable.

Of course, no one could ever know what the numbers would be or would have been "if" actions were different. It all comes down to the choice at the moment, and no one can have heroism demanded of them. It is often unsuccessful and can seem tragic even if it were to reduce potential deaths (ie, if 10 civilians died and 5 cops died stopping the gunman, we wouldn't have known it might have been worse..).

People aren't superheroes, so preventive measures are the most important way to avoid these dangerous situations.

emptiedriver · 2022-07-16T15:40:41+00:00

what general reaction are you seeing? What I've mostly seen is people saying, how can we even pretend that "good guys with guns" can possibly be any use in these types of situations when they are as sickeningly helpless here as they are, with all the gear and back up they could ask for, and up against only one teenager with only one gun in the most dire of situations (that is, masses of screaming children dying as the minutes pass).

Perhaps we might have imagined a little more heroism from the professionals, but it's true that heroism usually just results in greater casualties, so what can ya do. What it makes blatantly and unquestionably clear is that no amount of protective services or trained officers or safety measures will be any help if there are still assault rifles available to testosterone fueled psychos.

emptiedriver · 2022-06-06T10:34:02+00:00

come on, that's totally different, many of them get the questions right, the questions are more difficult, and when they're wrong they are usually making at least somewhat rational guesses. There are a few examples of dumb responses, but to not know who was the first president to live in the white house or to think Virginia was the first US state isn't embarrassing. The kids in the other video literally could not do basic arithmetic and were guessing "Africa" was a border country? Like I said, I could figure ways to allow for certain things - vocabulary changes, some history may be specialized - but some knowledge should be pretty standard.

emptiedriver · 2022-06-04T10:19:04+00:00

I know that it's edited and selected, so he could go through hundreds of people before finding the ones who can't answer the questions, and then dozens of questions until he finds the ones that stump them. And I know that there could be reasons for ignorance in some cases - maybe some of them were recent immigrants and didn't learn american history from an early age, maybe some of them spoke ESL so that words like dozen/decade were less familiar... if you moved to Sweden when you were ten, learning the language would be the big hurdle, getting the details of their history or geography straight would be more work.

But, even being that generous it's hard to believe some of these answers... How quickly multiple people answered "I don't know" for 3x3x3 was just weird -do they not teach math anymore? And how many didn't know countries from continents or have any idea which ones were where was pretty sad. I am curious what is really average.

emptiedriver · 2022-06-01T09:19:46+00:00

I mean, isn't it both? Obviously someone will have mental problems if they'll go shoot schoolchildren, but just as obviously, they'll have a gun. We should try to do something about both. Try to provide healthcare and support to reduce mental problems, and try to regulate gun access so that people who are likely to be unstable can't get them.

What's the hold up? Do both, do whichever's easier first, no disagreement here!

emptiedriver · 2022-05-31T11:10:46+00:00

Just wanted to say, as bad as it seems to you now, just remember that not all that long ago you would not have even really been able to come up with the idea of "lesbian" in high school, at least not as anything other than a direct insult, and you certainly would not have proclaimed it openly... maybe at a progressive college you'd have found some other women and started figuring it out, but plenty of people would have had a lot to say about how you just hadn't tried sleeping with the right men & you almost certainly would have tried it at some point just bc that was what counted as sex. Being a "gold star lesbian" was truly unusual bc that meant you figured out you were gay before you became sexually active...

So it sucks that things are going backwards instead of forwards, but we really have gone way forwards in the last few decades, and we're not as far back as before the gay rights movement at least :). It's pretty cool you've got confidence and comfort with yourself and an ability to find others like you.

emptiedriver · 2022-05-31T10:59:54+00:00

Though men have to keep their member functioning the whole time, so there's no "lay back and think of England" option... I do think the Kinsey scale or something like it is useful to communicate a range.

emptiedriver · 2022-05-30T14:11:59+00:00

expats still have passports and vote, but you have a nice day too..

emptiedriver · 2022-05-30T07:30:32+00:00

so just to be clear, if a gang of angry & testosterone-hyped 18 year olds came into a school shooting at kindergarteners, and the staff or hired guards had to pull out guns to shoot back, and after a little mini-war the staff won and there was a bloody mess with some amount of "collateral damage" but the main attackers had been shot, you'd think that would be a success? You'd think schoolchildren witnessing murder would be part of the "animating contest of freedom" just because the good guys win in the end?

Life's not a video game. That's completely deranged. Even most soldiers who return from war suffer from trauma and PTSD due to what they've seen, and they're trained and ready for killing. Ordinary people, especially children, should not live like that. I hope the US can figure out how to self-govern bc it's a beautiful continent and I would like to be able to come back to the land. But the country as an institution has some work to do

emptiedriver · 2022-05-29T15:00:39+00:00

I actually live overseas now. I'm an american citizen but work abroad in a first world country where guns aren't really an issue.

I was not defending anyone. I was just pointing out that the idea that this was a good outcome was weird. This was horrific. Going out and experiencing someone trying to shoot at us and then someone else shooting back and watching a human being bleed to death would be traumatic. I am not making moral judgments, I'm just saying, that's not civilized. That's not living in a socially responsible culture. That's reveling in a kind of Mad Max lifestyle, which, I guess, if that's what you're into, then go for it, but I'd rather live in a place where kids can run out in the street together and play and learn and people can gather and talk and live happily in relative peace & security...

emptiedriver · 2022-05-29T13:28:46+00:00

I love how they report this as "no one was hurt". I mean, a man was killed. Yes, a man who was trying to kill other people, so it was not undeserved, but it's not like this was some lovely peaceful night out. That still sounds f*cked up. If you go to a party and people start shooting at each other and someone ends up bloody and dead at the end of it, that's not a good situation. That's not the "greatest country on earth". If that's a normal, expected component of going out, you're living in some kind of post-civilization dystopian hellscape.

emptiedriver · 2022-04-19T12:02:54+00:00

what a complete tangle of confusing stupidity. How do they speak like this and manage to maintain any level of basic rational awareness...

emptiedriver · 2022-03-09T09:09:32+00:00

Consider how much "misinformation" turned out to be correct. How Russia is currently banning "misinformation."

but how are they doing it? By having rich people in power who can determine what information gets promoted. There are not fairly voted offices that have put agreed upon terms into a public square and talked about why or why not certain information is okay or not okay. They are just seeing which guys are able to shout the loudest.

Regulation is like having an FDA or laws against fraud, except that they apply to public information instead of food or private cases. If the same companies that own a profitable drug company are able to put out a lot of news stories about how so many people are suffering from vague symptoms that really should be medically treated, and then a lot of people go to their doctor saying "I think I have these vague symptoms" and the drug company says "we have this drug that is just the thing", doctors might feel more helpful if they can prescribe it and patients might feel more secure if they can take something. Even if it's all just sort of placebo effect or poorly understood problems, the drug company makes huge amounts of money before patients get tired of taking pills that it turns out weren't that helpful. If the FDA isn't stringent about what drugs are available - and they're not, lots of things are on the market and can be prescribed "off label" - doctors can end up being drug pushers because patients are lured into thinking common everyday feelings might be signs of syndromes or conditions by lobbyists, writers, and advertisers for these companies. They even call a whole branch of pharmaceuticals "lifestyle" drugs because they see it as the goal to get everyone taking something. That is a biased perspective. It's not the same as "free speech"

emptiedriver · 2022-03-08T16:51:18+00:00

hm, you are really misunderstanding the argument or you just didn't read it. No one is saying they "want more censorship" but that censorship is now able to emerge through other means, ie, through people who have money being able to control what information gets prioritized. We need laws to make sure information is regulated in the sense that truth needs to be tracked by some means other than a pure free-for-all, because in that model, there is a fight for attention and audience that can be won through marketing. It's not censorship to be more strict about what has to be backed up before it can be promoted as fact. That can happen on both sides.

emptiedriver · 2022-02-09T16:09:10+00:00

Obviously the very concept of being bisexual... or even, not bisexual... would be transphobic. At some point, you just have to be attracted to everyone or you're transphobic. I mean, what are you against? If you're distinguishing sexes, you can't determine which one is which until after they decide to tell you, and they might not have told you yet, so maybe you were attracted to that one after all.

I mean what if they have not come out? That doesn't mean they're not already whatever they ultimately are going to realize they are, so if you have a relationship with a woman who breaks up with you and later realizes she's a man, then you were attracted to men the whole time. So everyone is potentially attracted to everyone, stop trying to limit things. Unless you're trans, of course.

emptiedriver · 2022-02-05T17:44:21+00:00

Courage begets courage.

I do think this is the key thing. There are probably more people who don't believe this crap than who do, but the ones who do are more fervent. They have scared a portion of those who disagree from speaking up, and then another percentage of people think it's a side issue that doesn't matter much. It's sort of a scale from those who feel frustrated by a fear of social ostracism to those who are just trying to avoid conflict - who cares if it's true, let's not fight over it, kinda thing.

So what matters now is to make it clear that both a) it is important and does have serious consequences especially for women's and LGB rights, as well as many individuals' health and well-being; and b) there are plenty of people who agree on the basic facts at hand here, and we should all be speaking up more often in more places so that it's more evident to those nearby that it's a common, established, politically variable, simply fundamental position to hold. Anyone can say "there are two sexes" and "men cannot be women" - we've got to remind people those are ordinary things to be stating, and that we are not taking the nonsense seriously, by being clear about it whenever there's a chance.

emptiedriver · 2022-01-18T17:22:51+00:00

have you talked to people who've had this symptom? My cousin has lost her taste for 3 months now, does not have a stuffed up nose anymore and is not having "trouble smelling" but has just lost the ability to taste things. It may be related to the same area that's affected in other infections, but for some people it's a notably distinct symptom.

Why assume it's a "fear tactic"? People self-report that they have lost a sense of taste or smell. Do you think that many people are being manipulated to say something that they aren't even experiencing or that's no different from the last time they had a stuffy nose? It doesn't happen to everyone, and it's temporary for most, but some people fully recover except the sense is either changed or lost.

emptiedriver · 2021-12-28T14:07:39+00:00

I saw it and cannot possibly grasp wtf interpretation this person is trying to project. There's really no trans or gender bendy stuff anywhere & the center story is about the desire of a hetero couple.

emptiedriver · 2021-12-18T17:10:15+00:00

It might have been here a little while back... Unbelievable just how clueless people can be. It is hard to tell if they are living in fantasy or if people are indulging them for the moment or what exactly is going on, but it's hard to imagine that this is a long term plan. It's mostly sad to me just how much lack of bodily self awareness she has.

emptiedriver · 2021-12-10T17:13:47+00:00

oh, ok, it said they didn't take a test for "learning disabilities" so I was thinking things like ADD or dyslexia... if it's a more serious mental handicap that would be different. (Although, that would also seem like it would be pretty easy to notice who fits the profile)

emptiedriver · 2021-12-10T13:13:25+00:00

how is having intellectual disabilities relevant to physical sports anyway... that seems like a really questionable category

emptiedriver · 2021-11-14T16:03:54+00:00

It's not a "hole", it's a vagina. It's a muscular canal that leads to a cervix, which is part of an organ, connected to tubes which release gametes on a cycle. It's part of an entire system that is regulated by hormones and over time helped to organize a bunch of other elements of the active biological unity that is you.

There are plenty of other things that can be "holes" and if they were all the same, then it wouldn't matter, would it - but somehow, it's not about holes. It's about the whole person, who has a complete body that is not just a generic doll with a random detachable set of "junk." You're a living person. Accept your vagina.

emptiedriver · 2021-10-09T16:21:47+00:00

I think of the concept of peaking as like the straw the broke the camel's back - it's come to be used for educating anyone in any scenario about trans stuff, but I originally remember it as referencing your own peak, which was, when did you hit that tipping point that made you just go, oh, wait. This just does not make any sense! After which all the things that had been sort of foggy but accepted as politically expected became clear because the whole thing was BS.

So peaking someone else would be helping them to reach that last straw and get over the libfem stuff that's been blinding them, and that's why it doesn't work the other way, because the TQ version is just paradoxical. Being pro diversity is one thing but claiming that men are women is just misunderstanding the basic biological realities of the human bodies. That's why once you've peaked you see clearly that physical bodies are not performance art. We can build different societies that are better attuned to various individuals and don't expect the same behavior from people just because they belong to categories, but to just say the categories are non existent when they are literally how every single person is born is incoherent.

emptiedriver · 2021-10-04T16:06:54+00:00

Every. Single. Time... Like, is there ever a discussion among TRAs about GC ideas where they don't resort to violence? It is so incredible. They just cannot stand the simple boring truth sitting in front of them. It drives them completely bonkers.

emptiedriver · 2021-10-01T08:13:50+00:00

You're picking apart the male and female, with hair and mastectomies, etc. in the same way that trans people try and pick apart the sexes. This strikes me as the same nature of argument.

what? But I'm doing the exact opposite! I'm saying, a woman with a mastectomy is still a woman. TRAs would say that would make her a man. How is that the same at all? My entire point is that all those little details have no impact on what sex a person is. They're just individuated traits of a person. A bearded lady is still a lady. You are what sex you are, no matter what surgeries and specifics you try to change.

If I were capable of taking a man and making him indiscernibly anatomically, psychologically female, then our hitherto man could be an erotic target for other, heterosexual men. Perhaps if the secret were revealed, then the attraction would vanish--and I think this is the salient part of the conversation.

well, to me this does not make sense. How do you make someone "indiscernibly anatomically, psychologically female" but then not actually female? What does that even mean? To me, a person is what they materially are. If it were possible to turn someone female, then they'd be female, but it's not possible. At very least they would always have the psychology of having been male to start with (meaning, having had a male anatomy) but I simply do not think creating an entirely new human body to replace who you already are is a realistic or worthwhile enterprise.

Injecting hormones and doing cosmetic surgery is superficial, and ultimately when you get to know a person and get to know their body, you get to know their sex. That's part of intimacy and while you may hide your sex from acquaintances or aloof coworkers, you are not going to keep it from those you get to know better, and you are certainly not going to keep a partner in the dark.

I think we have to concede this point to the transgender crowd. Were the medical technology sufficient...

If the technology were sufficient to turn myself into a bat, I could be a bat. But it's not, and I'm not, and I don't know what it's like to be a bat. You can't just cut a few things off to turn into a woman or to stop being a man. There is a whole different layout, you are born with every egg that you will menstruate... and a boy is aware of his penis from a young age and that affects how he thinks too. They are two different paths.

it is not just the sex of a person that strikes our desire, or or dislike

I never said it was, but for those who have a limitation based on sex, that limitation applies in the same way to trans people - based on their sex, not their self identity.

Bisexuals have opposite-sex interests. Homosexuals do not, and this is what makes them special. I don't understand homosexuals as people with same-sex attraction. I understand homosexuals as people lacking opposite-sex attraction.

This is a very interesting thought, but I still think it's too sweeping. Some homosexuals specifically seek out "opposite sex presenting" members of their own sex, as in the butch-femme or big daddy/ bear to sissy type relations that have often been considered typical. Our stereotypes of gay men and lesbians have always been the GNC ones. If anyone was naturally going to look like they landed in the middle, they'd have been accused of being gay in the past. Now, we think they must be trans, and all too often, they will push the natural non-conformity all the way to the other side, so that at least they can conform with something even if it is now the wrong sex. Someone who would have been a masculine lesbian can now be a straight-appearing man! Except, of course, that she is not actually a man and might be caused health problems by any medical interventions.

But would you say she is more likely to be dating straight women or lesbians? Or would only bisexual women give her the time of day?

emptiedriver · 2021-09-30T16:09:11+00:00

but for the masculinity and male secondary traits . A bisexual shouldn't have problem with it.

why? Or, why should a lesbian have a problem with "masculine" traits?

If we're in agreement that there are only two sexes, then whatever traits a person has are just their individual traits. If someone has short hair, that doesn't make them masculine or feminine. If someone has a mastectomy, that's just their individual body. A lesbian could still love a woman with a mastectomy - that's not a masculine trait. There are women who naturally grow beards, and lesbians who'd be happy to date them.

A trans person is just a deluded person who thinks certain traits make them male or female. But they don't. They simply are male or female. And then they have whatever traits they have. A lot of people would not be attracted to someone who amputates parts of their body or takes unnecessary drugs to try to achieve cosmetic effects, but that is not because those outcomes make them too masculine or feminine. It's because they're mentally unwell.

The point is, everyone might have their particular preferences, but by definition any orientation could date a trans person of the physical sex they are oriented toward. A woman dating a trans man (woman who identifies as male) is in a lesbian relationship.

emptiedriver · 2021-09-30T15:57:29+00:00

Is that directed to me?

emptiedriver · 2021-09-30T10:21:12+00:00

a) not all trans people are on hormones these days with "self ID" but more importantly b) that was the whole point of the original poster. Bisexuals are also sexually attracted to people. They are attracted to women as women, and men as men. If a lesbian is not going to be attracted to a trans man because she has altered her body with weird hormones, don't assume a bisexual person would have any more interest, just because they like both sexes.

The question is just whether you can be attracted to a person who has taken hormones, had surgeries or has weird fantasies. But, orientation-wise, it's open to anyone (and some people might enjoy the presentation but the real attraction is going to be to the actual sex, so a man attracted to trans women is gay or bi, etc)

emptiedriver · 2021-09-30T10:02:34+00:00

No, I'm saying the "real parts" are the parts that match. A lesbian can be attracted to a trans man - a woman who identifies as a man - as easily as a bisexual person could. It is nothing to do with how they identify, it's do with what is actually the case.

emptiedriver · 2021-09-30T09:55:30+00:00

why would you distinguish between pan and bi? There are just two sexes, so everyone belongs to one of them. We might not be attracted to a man or woman who's had radical cosmetic surgery and has weird fetishes, or whatever, but that doesn't alter what sex they are.

They aren't a third category - a trans man is just a woman, who you might have no interest in dating, but some bi people and some lesbians might be open to it. No gay man would be, by definition, since if he's attracted he's attracted to women.

emptiedriver · 2021-09-30T09:47:42+00:00

Not really, a lesbian could be attracted to a trans man or a gay man to a trans woman just as easily as a bisexual to either of them.

If a bisexual is attracted to both it's only because they don't care which sex they are, but they're still whichever sex they are, in which case, hetero or homosexual people can still be attracted to the trans people of the sex (not "gender") they prefer.

*edit: reading further comments I think that's what you were getting at...? *edit2: nope :)

emptiedriver · 2021-09-30T09:17:36+00:00

well, she looks good and should be respected without wearing a shirt whether she's male or female. Obviously she's female but it's fucked up that women are dismissed with "nice tits" if they go top free while men are seen as hot & handsome in the same scenario. That's exactly the sort of attitude that pushes women to think they need to transition instead of being comfortable in the bodies they actually have.

I hope we can get through this mess to a "post gender" type state where she can be happy like that but not have to betray her sex for it. There are all types of women.

emptiedriver · 2021-09-29T12:48:25+00:00

First off, no, the word 'European' does not mean I have a European passport.

Well, I'm American but living in Europe and would never call myself European. As far as I understand the meaning of the word, it only refers to people who are citizens of European countries. I have a residence card, but I still have to go to the American consulate to take care of official papers.

Still, that's just semantics - you are saying that you can be European and American at the same time if you have an American passport and live in Europe. Are you then trying to say that you can be a man and a woman at the same time if you are male but presenting as female?

So, that would be a no. Because they are transgender. Exclusionary vocabulary.

How do we know if something is exclusionary when the definitions are so hazy... a transgender female is not a woman because "transgender" is exclusive, but a trans woman is a woman because "trans" is just an adjective, is that right?

I mean, they COULD, but now you're getting into the realm of having multiple words to describe you, and having to pick the best one for any situation. To take from my example from earlier that you didn't understand, I am European, and American (A native of Europe, a permanent resident of America.) The answer to 'what' I am, in this case, isn't a definitive answer, but a social answer, because in most cases, just saying 'both' isn't helpful.

So... you are both a man and a woman but it's "not helpful" to say both? That it isn't really exclusionary vocabulary in any other sense except you deciding to exclude one of the definitions.

emptiedriver · 2021-09-29T09:21:03+00:00

If I tell you I'm European, does that tell you I'm a European native or a person who lives in Europe?

If you're European, you have a European passport. That means you're a native. Someone living abroad is not European but a European resident. They still belong to the country that they have the passport from, unless they go through the process to change their citizenship.

It is possible to change citizenship, of course, while it is not possible to change sex. One is an artificial distinction created by human borders while the other is a physical reality.

'Adult human female or transgender male'

If any kind of female or a certain kind of male is a woman, does that mean that a transgender female is also a woman? Why would a transgender female not belong under "adult human female"? Is a transgender person not also an adult human person?

emptiedriver · 2021-09-25T07:22:11+00:00

sorry, i'm just not following.. if gender is just a role play, it isn't really relevant to who you're attracted to, at least not consistently, & it's only really for bisexuals anyway in which case "you just haven't found the right girl" can be true: just find a more boyish girl or a more girlish boy, and you won't be gay anymore. (Or what is it you're getting at, bc I admit I'm finding this confusing)

emptiedriver · 2021-09-24T13:34:08+00:00

but it's inaccurate. it's claiming people are attracted to what kind of haircut you have not which body, and yes people like trans to avoid thinking of their kids as having sex, but that isn't making the whole thing healthy, it's making gay kids hide in a trans closet that is more dangerous than the old fashioned version bc now you are getting meds and surgeries not just being quiet... I don't see the benefit

emptiedriver · 2021-09-17T08:51:37+00:00

Is he using "his girl" as in his girlfriend, or his guh..ewrldick.

Not to validate that mentality, just can't help seeing that mindset in the way he's framing things

emptiedriver · 2021-09-11T08:34:09+00:00

Good point - it's a lot less of a choice for men.

emptiedriver · 2021-09-10T08:03:17+00:00

The numbers probably changed rather dramatically after the gay rights movement. When I was young, the idea of a "gold star" especially for a lesbian was rare, because it had been rare to have the opportunity to come out until later in life, and people had been expected by peers to be dating in high school. Plenty of people "lost their virginity" or had standard hetero relationships during their adolescence/ college years, before figuring out or making public what they really wanted.

Now it's so well established that gay is a normal possibility that kids come out even before their first kiss and don't worry as much about hiding it from the world - maybe they won't share it with certain individuals, but most aren't in the closet to the degree that they have full relationships to try to fit in while they figure out who they are. Except of course, that things are changing again as a new generation is introduced to the idea that it's bigoted to have a "genital preference"...

emptiedriver · 2021-09-01T15:00:26+00:00

This is fantastic work, thanks for putting it together.

emptiedriver · 2021-09-01T14:23:32+00:00

“conversion therapy”, which is defined as practices, treatment or services designed to change an individual’s sexual orientation to heterosexual or gender identity to cisgender or to reduce non-heterosexual sexual attraction or sexual behaviour

Yeah, that in itself is already confused. It seems like it's just pushing for people to be as "queer" as possible... if someone is given the option to be a trans man who dates women or a natal woman who dates women, you're accused of conversion therapy either way - your sexual orientation is made straight instead of gay but at least you're trans, or your sexual identity is cis instead of trans, but at least you're gay. But both options converted you to what would be socially normal in one sense: really you should be a trans man who dates men! Then you're both trans and gay!

Or in reality, a hetero woman, but who's paying attention.

emptiedriver · 2021-09-01T10:57:46+00:00

Part of what makes this hard is having to accept that people are legitimately stupider than you expect. Then, you do try to get across to everyone? Or just write off some portion as maybe-laters and try to figure out who to talk to... It's frustrating.

emptiedriver · 2021-09-01T10:03:48+00:00

it's dangerous for women, not women?

It's hard to get because of side effects, they said, then I found out, no, just sign an "informed consent" form and agree that "you can manage this" meaning the doctor tells you it's probably not that dangerous though there's not much evidence, but more importantly you consent to take responsibility if anything does go wrong?

So don't listen to concerned loved ones because profiteering medical professionals can get you the stuff. Great.

emptiedriver · 2021-09-01T09:20:26+00:00

That first tweet reply is crazy - "we're so disappointed" - is that how you normally respond to criminals? Seems a condescending attitude toward dangerous hate mongers. I'm also interested to see where things go...

emptiedriver · 2021-09-01T07:56:29+00:00

"GCs pretend that becoming trans can erase your gayness"

no, it's a way to hide your gayness by pretending you are the opposite sex. It doesn't change anything about reality, just avoids social stigma.

"they refuse to admit that you can transition into being gay."

Likewise, you can't change anything about reality. You can play as the other sex, and when it's done the other way around, to pretend you're gay instead of actually being straight, it's not to stop feelings of shame, but to stimulate social reaction, to touch on something understood as taboo, in other words, to excite a fetish.

In either case, it's just pretend though, and only with the goal of achieving the social benefits.

emptiedriver · 2021-09-01T07:37:52+00:00

I'm interested in the general environment you're dealing with since it's different from where I am (or how things were when I was younger)... how other students respond to these changes, what students seem to expect from their peers in performing these identities, what sort of cultural expectations have become normal, basically. Although, I'm also curious to just hear more details about individuals. My experiences with trans people have been mostly within the LGB community or in social settings so trying to be a center of attention is one thing then. But go into a professional or scholarly atmosphere and it's time to switch to a more serious or low key mode? or is that not really true for anyone anymore...

emptiedriver · 2021-08-31T16:36:29+00:00

did you disagree with them or learn anything new ? Like others, I want to hear more from QT people so would rather hear your response to what GC people say. If you were trying to understand something honestly and asked a question, rather than erase the responses you get, why not tell people "ah, I see what you're saying, here's why I think differently", or, "hm, that still doesn't make sense bc..." or whatever? If you just make it all go away, it feels like you would rather pretend you never heard an answer.

I know there were a lot of answers and you may have responded to many before erasing, but it still comes across as passive-aggressive to remove the whole conversation instead of at least explaining your position and bowing out if you're feeling there's too much antagonism.

emptiedriver · 2021-08-31T15:23:16+00:00

so any person with an interest in continuing the species is either an idiot or intentionally cruel? Is that something we can solve or should we end the human race?

emptiedriver · 2021-08-31T14:25:36+00:00

But I'm the only one who really suffers, the pain of everyone else is just a joke!

Take out the canned laughter, and why is uncontrollable erections or underwear sizing or bad skin so much easier than being jealous of girls? Maybe you're not the only one who hates their clothes or is worried about being labeled a freak? Maybe everyone is dealing with a mutating body and who they're attracted to?

Obviously there are plenty of other issues people face, but the way this was set up just seemed so unthinking. It made it look like two kids were trying to laugh things off, make lemonade out of lemons life throws your way, and then the third one whined about stuff and made things awkward not bc he was dealing with anything worse but bc he was a big annoying baby.

emptiedriver · 2021-08-30T17:17:04+00:00

Is this for real? I'd love to hear more details about your experiences, not just with the one insane student but in the many previous semesters where you've had this fairly steady 5% trans population. That really does seem significant and worthy of being shared... I get that you can't be too specific online but it's hard to tell how much things are really changing without stories like this getting told

emptiedriver · 2021-08-29T11:39:13+00:00

Are you familiar with the acronyms for Trans-identified males or females? Most GC people understand trans as something people can identify as, but that doesn't change reality.

I call another person trans the way I call another person christian, or emo, or maybe some kind of hobbyist. It's something they've decided to be. They may be more or less committed to it - it could just be a phase, or something they have a superficial interest in, or it could be their lifelong passion - but it's still a thing they decided to identify with...

emptiedriver · 2021-08-28T15:43:26+00:00

But I thought the clitoris was the mini penis? Do women have both a mini penis and an inverted penis? Maybe everything is actually just some kind of reconfigured penile substance if I smoke enough weed and stare at my dick...

What utter nonsense. The lack of editorial management online is really going to harm the next generation's education.

emptiedriver · 2021-08-28T15:35:38+00:00

What exactly are you asking - why do some people think that they are trans? Or what features should count as trans? Or what...

GC people generally don't believe that being trans is an objective thing. If the person never said anything, they'd be a guy in a dress. To someone gender critical, that is still the case. Stick to reality, not peer pressure.

emptiedriver · 2021-08-28T08:01:25+00:00

This is a confusing study. It says "of your preferred gender" who is transgender, so does that mean if you're a lesbian would you date a trans man? Or is it asking if you'd date a transbian? Given that the numbers are so similar between whether you're okay with GNC and whether you're okay with trans, it seems like many may have just thought that was basically the same thing.

emptiedriver · 2021-08-27T12:32:01+00:00

i get a little depressed looking at other subs here most of the time, feeling like, wow are ideas as simple as "sex is real" now considered conspiracy theories? And then I start thinking, oh geez, are these other ideas not as wacky as I think they are... and look around for a minute, and usually come back to, nope, they are. Kind of a weird trip. It's not bad to test your boundaries a little bit (though in some cases it can just feel gross or like a waste of time).

All to say - I mostly stick to the gender critical stuff.

emptiedriver · 2021-08-27T10:26:36+00:00

It's so important to remember this. There is no "right side of history". There's just the passage of time, and the direction that society is heading in right now. The Christian Church was the "right side of history" for centuries, in the sense that it retained the most power and authority within local societies, and countless generations passed where those who disagreed went their entire lives seen as heretics and witches. Did people really think that? Were they right? It's hard to say exactly - all that is clear is that the church had the power to keep a certain ideology unquestioned in public.

This movement could create a whole different dark ages. People not allowed to question the Word, to ignore the obvious contradictions... and because it doesn't seem to matter that much, and they don't want to cause trouble they can just accept that those in power must have it figured out. But a few decades later some questions and concepts are no longer allowed... some books not considered acceptable... a certain belief system simply part of an indoctrination

emptiedriver · 2021-08-24T15:13:58+00:00

I think that poster is just a naive gay activist who has no idea what's going on. It's worth being reminded sometimes that that is how a lot of the "pro trans" people are - it isn't that they've looked at the issue and made a rational decision that gender is more important than biological sex, that male bodied people should be able to get boners in female dressing rooms by calling themselves women, that female bodied people should be able to match with you on grindr by identifying as gay men, that doctors should ignore your reproductive organs, statistics should comply with your fantasies, teenagers should be neutered if they aren't gender conforming, that women's prisons & shelters also house fully functioning males who can cause pregnancy, as long as they change their pronouns ... or any of the rest of it. They just think, oh can't we all just get along, why are they being mean to drag queens.

To anyone who isn't aware, that's not it. Most of us are 100% on board with gender non-conformity. There are plenty of old school trans people who are against the modern trans movement. Go do some research. Look up "gender critical" or 4th wave feminism or Miranda Yardley or Jane Claire Jones or just dig around a bit, there are plenty of perspectives and various degrees of reasonableness, but the current pro-Trans movement has definitely gone off the deep end. You don't want to support it without having a closer look.

emptiedriver · 2021-08-23T10:09:13+00:00

It's interesting you give the power of the "feminine" angle of gay spaces to bisexual women - I would have assumed it was due to gay men, who have commonly (at least in the past) been dominated by feminine men. Lesbians and bisexual women have been more likely to lean toward a "butch" sensibility, and at least in the 90s/00s, places specifically designated for dykes or drag kings tended to have more of a biker bar vibe or be cheap hole-in-the-wall/ get a beer joints, whereas the money making clubs and big time event spaces that were all glam and shazaam were being run by the queens, which is to say, the men. I don't think women started that...

emptiedriver · 2021-08-15T07:17:16+00:00

They don't believe relationships are based on bodies, genitalia or sex. They think that's just a detail that no one should ask about because it's private and none of your business, and if you're attracted to people it's because they're so pretty in their filtered and photoshopped pictures, and really, that's what matters. Oh plus you get along when you text and like the same netflix or whatever.

emptiedriver · 2021-08-12T07:07:30+00:00

Madonna got a lot of attention for it, ostensibly negative, but it made her career. Straight people since her have been trying to recreate that - the horrified public who actually looooove it and can't stop gasp looking !how could she! but by now it's all been done.

I don't really follow pop culture, but from what I can tell Lil Nas is just riding the same wave, and he's able to get attention again because it's something a little different - Now with GaySexTM... It's all just the shock value of marketing, and sex doesn't sell as well as it used to because it's available for free everywhere, so marketers are getting more and more inventive. They found a usable product.

emptiedriver · 2021-08-12T06:49:25+00:00

I always thought of them as just doing christmas albums.. had no idea they were undermining that image.

After googling, do you mean this song about "converting children" to be tolerant? It seems pretty mild, meant to be a joke by using a trigger word but all it says is we'll make everyone accept homosexuality... - or was there something else?

emptiedriver · 2021-08-09T16:21:51+00:00

Do you live in an area that has any kind of rl gay scene? I wonder how things are these days - that seemed so central 20-30 years ago to meeting people and I know so much happens online now, but it also seems so much more likely to draw a more trans-oriented crowd? I don't know for sure if that's true, maybe it's just young people generally, but gay men being effeminate was practically the definition of gay men when I was young, and the whole pendulum swing was to make the point that actually some gay men were not quite so entirely stereotypically femme as you think... So the idea that nowadays people won't even accept that GNC men are gay is almost hilarious except that it really does mean the trans movement has seriously converted a whole generation.

I guess I'm saying, thanks for not being brainwashed, keep making noise about the problem and how it is directly affecting the gay community, and maybe try more offline venues where more mixed age people meet.. I'm sure trans people are everywhere, but maybe you could at least meet more gay friends or mentors and feel like you're less alone. Good luck <3

emptiedriver · 2021-08-09T14:21:09+00:00

Too bad, it's still associated. LGB is not invited or given a voice anymore... but no one is going to suddenly think there is whole other history, movement, set of organizations, pride events, flags or agenda in general that is completely separate. This began as gay rights! Even if they cut out the official naming of LGB in every organization, if they do so much as having the events in June, or rainbow colors, or reference Stonewall, people will remember where it began, and assume that it evolved from gay rights into its true full form as trans rights, and that there's just no need to reference gay rights anymore bc that was basically just a mini larval version of what was really important.

To separate the two, there has to be a break, an explicit disassociation, and a large enough group of people making it clear...

emptiedriver · 2021-08-09T09:34:44+00:00

how can someone possibly be this upside-down and backwards? It's incredible. What unbelievable narcissism. Unless they're trolling but I've given up trying to determine that anymore, it's just a completely insane world out there and people really have gone mad...

(And people my age and a little further from the most ridiculous claims still support all the general "people can be whatever they want to be" stuff because they vaguely assume that just means "boys can wear skirts" or whatever. )

emptiedriver · 2021-08-07T10:27:09+00:00

Yeah, it's either bad satire, trolling, or some really far-out TRA types. But the fact that no one can really tell is the problem. I mean, people can believe some very weird things (remember christian fundamentalist pamphlets?) so the issue is much more, how many people who read it do it for laughs and how many are part of the church of trans...

emptiedriver · 2021-08-07T10:11:14+00:00

what a random assortment of different opinions. And pretty much none of them are the least bit discriminatory? Was the worst something like "they should be nicer"?

I'm on the "worst" possible end apparently simply for acknowledging how human reproduction works, but could move way up the scale if I decided to support them because "it's trendy"... hilarious. I guess it's revealing in its way.

emptiedriver · 2021-08-06T16:40:28+00:00

it really is amazing how people can get so caught in an illusion that a whole new mental category is created - they can see a trans person isn't actually the same as the sex they're trying to be, but still follow the social pressures and currents enough that they become something else than what their physical senses show them...

emptiedriver · 2021-08-06T09:14:21+00:00

I went and read a dozen or so posts and I literally cannot tell. Sometimes it is so obviously satire. Sometimes it seems to be clearly pro trans. It is truly confusing...

emptiedriver · 2021-08-05T17:22:32+00:00

Who writes for the "Trans History Month" account? When was this posted? It's just such a jaw-dropping thing to say I can barely process it. Does anyone know how other trans supporters responded...

emptiedriver · 2021-08-03T13:36:11+00:00

I didn't mean it wasn't relevant - it was more the question of "true believers". I just think that online people will push harder to see if they can get benefits for going even further without having to worry over whether they actually believe what they're saying. The percentage of people who actually believe the things being said is a subgroup.

There have always been people who push agendas for power not truth, but I am just saying it's been enlarged, especially by the internet, to the point where I think there are a lot of people who don't even see the difference.

emptiedriver · 2021-07-19T06:41:34+00:00

I think the internet almost creates a strange abstract group of envelope-pushers who barely know themselves if they are serious or not, who can always fall back on "it was just a joke" if things go too far, but can take advantage of "you better believe it" if they're getting privileges for what they're claiming they deserve... Should white males be seen as stunning and brave and oppressed and be able to walk into girl's dressing rooms naked, and win women's awards and take women's jobs? Just call us lesbians, it all makes sense... But I think the only real believers are confused kids or hardcore committed political idealists who get swept along without really thinking anything through

emptiedriver · 2021-07-14T11:44:41+00:00

Try to keep in mind that teachers are people too, I'm in my early 20s and already many of my friends are on the professor track. I love them, but these people are not the brilliant genius tweed-jacket intellectuals who can never be wrong that academia thinks they are. These people are not much older than you.

And, correspondingly, remember that a lot of professors are struggling with the exact same issues that students are, i.e., they're caught in an academic world where being "woke" is expected. For them it's a livelihood issue: they're concerned they could lose jobs or anyway opportunities in publishing, presenting at conferences, networking and so on, if they're too blatant in disagreeing with what's considered progressive.

It's hard to actively fight the standard if you don't have money, stability, power, or some kind of established position. I encourage you to take the risks when you're a student since it will not matter as much - you can "innocently" ask questions or push back a little with fewer repercussions. And there will be some teachers who appreciate that you do (others, not so much, but usually the worst they could do is not write you a recommendation or something...)

emptiedriver · 2021-07-12T18:53:33+00:00

This is ...insane. I can't even tell who is posting this and for what audience. Is it fantasy? If so, how is it legal and why are they not trying to hide it? Is it meant to be some kind of legitimate information about guiding your troubled kid? But then why is it written as if it's pornographic... Yeah, I cannot make heads or tails of this and it just needs to be captured & saved so it isn't denied, and whoever's behind it has to be investigated. What a mess.

emptiedriver · 2021-06-28T10:17:00+00:00

I'm starting to think that basically 90% of the internet is just a parody account. Too many young people think life is ironic these days and are just pushing the envelope online. Then some of them buy into it at least for a while, and join in until they realize it doesn't make sense and just disappear. But it's already been pushed further and there's enough other gullible youngsters to suck in that the swarm keeps moving. At the head the ones in charge know boys aren't girls as well as they know birds aren't robots, but they like to play with the followers, and too many people don't push back but just drop away / get offline, or don't get involved since it isn't affecting them that directly...

emptiedriver · 2021-06-15T17:10:00+00:00

One mimics male anatomy...The other is a handed toy that won’t affect the appearance of female anatomy

But I sure would rather a woman handing a toy that resembles a human penis on me while I can see her womanly body and the beautiful female anatomy

have you ever actually tried a strap on? You have a lot to say about how things visually appear, but when you're in the moment all that really matters is how things feel, and if she has the skin, smell, touch, lips, body, eyes, back... of a woman, and you're climaxing, you might take advantage of technologies now and then. No one needs to use vibrators, but, on the other hand, sometimes they're fun. That's how most people who've used strap ons feel about them. It just gives you another option.

emptiedriver · 2021-06-15T16:58:45+00:00

so maybe that's a plus to lesbians? whatever those distinctions are in your mind, they may be exactly why some women like using a strap on but would not like a transvestite. How is that hard to understand in one direction but not the other?

emptiedriver · 2021-06-14T13:34:00+00:00

Just because someone can be sexually attracted to both sexes doesn't mean they are. They can still choose to be exclusively interested in one sex. Anyone can do this. It's not just something 'bisexual' people can do.

You realize you are making the same claim that people used to make against gay people, before the gay liberation movement, right? Think about it. Obviously there are people who have no choice. How else can you explain the gay rights movement, the need to live in the closet, the attempts at conversion, the underground movement and all the rest?? Why would so many people have suffered exile and social strife if they could have just chosen to be straight?

I am also bisexual, and at first I vaguely assumed that everyone must feel variations of attraction for people of different sexes, and have a fair share of flexibility in the sort of relationships they want to have. But you have to listen to what people tell you. Your experience is not universal. I think the idea of the Kinsey scale is sensible - for some people it's possible to make a choice even if their first instinct is clear, for some people the choice is wide open, but there are people who really are tied to one side.

There may be more people these days who could be convinced to choose to be homosexual and only choose hetero due to tradition. The percentage of people who are bisexual may be higher than has been presumed in the past. Plenty of guys have been known to find "romance" in situations of convenience (prison etc), and it seems like more young women "experiment" in college or whatever every generation, so I don't think what you're trying to say is completely uninteresting. But, it doesn't apply to everyone and it's not cool to make that claim when a lot of people have dealt with personal pain and social injustice to make that explicit that for the last 50+ years.

emptiedriver · 2021-06-13T08:54:53+00:00

Taking prescribed doses of T for the purpose of transitioning is not "substance abuse".

If getting prescriptions is easy, you can abuse prescribed meds. It's a common issue. Hormones have been prescribed incredibly easily.

Again, T requires a prescription.

Again, look at opiates, valium or xanax, or various kinds of methamphetamines.

But if they are doing HRT they would have low testosterone. Which proves testosterone did not cause this man's violence.

Males get regular testosterone every day for their entire lives. They don't get sudden injections once a month, but their bodies have been built out of it since they were little boys, and even more so after they hit puberty. Even most men who have replaced T with estrogen still have higher testosterone than women just due to what their body naturally produces, but even if they didn't they have the lasting effects of what was already made.

There are cis women who commit violent acts, as well as cis men. Why did this case stand out?

I don't think people are saying this case stands out against some other case of a non-medicated woman attacking a woman, but just that in this case, a woman who is being violent should not be prescribed testosterone. This is a bad treatment plan. I would not think someone would encourage an abusive "cis man" to take steroids either. Rage and violence are well known potential side effects so if they seem to be manifesting, the prescription should be reconsidered even if your position is that the drug can be beneficial.

emptiedriver · 2021-06-07T10:38:08+00:00

I thought it was obvious I was talking about pre-pubescent children if I was suggesting we could speak about sexlessness. This is all so ridiculous, I should clearly never have entered this topic. It was just an abstract possibility.

emptiedriver · 2021-06-07T09:04:05+00:00

don't you think that's due to what is known to be in their future? I have always understood the treatment of girls to be due to the predestination of womanhood rather than the capacity of girls, and my understanding was that girls were fairly equal in sports until close to puberty when the differences became marked. Of course, I may be mistaken and I am not sure there are statistics. It's true that boys tend to be more active on the playground. Perhaps that is just more libfem hearsay I have picked up over the years...

emptiedriver · 2021-06-07T07:46:21+00:00

If children are essentially sexless, then there is no such a thing as a girl or a boy, because there is no such a thing as a male or female child.

I'm sorry I made this so ridiculously confusing for you. You asked why children aren't sexless and I said, sure, maybe they are since they haven't sexually developed yet. I shouldn't have indulged you. I think that in its strictest, most complete, fully functioning form, sex is evident in healthy adults. In children, unhealthy or other cases of abnormal, altered or degraded physical bodies, sex can be non-functioning or somehow incomplete. It is usually still recognizable. Fundamentally, it does not change to a different sex. Even if you argue that some people do not have a sex if they lose some parts or haven't developed them yet, so what? What difference does that make for trans people?

It's the difference between adult men and women that has caused women's oppression. That is why it does not matter to me whether girls and boys are sexed - they are physically comparable in size and strength, and do not deal with pregnancy and the division of labor issue, so it's largely bc girls will become women that they deal with expectations and different treatment. If we could ignore their sex as children, I can imagine it being a positive. The same cannot be said for adult women, because the physical realities need to be taken up communally.

or so you believe, police would have to record the incident as "sexless creature got molested".

What are you talking about? Do you think if people are not categorized by their sex they are no longer people? How do you even deal with non-binary or asexual people in the trans movement... Maybe the police could record it as "child got molested"? or "young human being"?

emptiedriver · 2021-06-06T19:28:35+00:00

Would you have sex with a child? A child has an immature reproductive system. They have the potential to become sexual creatures, but pre-puberty, their sex is not yet developed. Does that mean they are sexless? I don't really know, and the point is that it doesn't really matter. You can say they have a sex but it's nascent or you can say they don't have one yet, as clearly it's distinct from once it becomes an active system. I don't think it's terribly controversial to speak that way. But what you can't say is that they'll start as a boy and turn into a woman.

Of course there is such a thing as a girl or a boy - a girl will become a woman and a boy will become a man. What sex you have at some point in your life is inherent from conception. The haggling over exactly when lines are crossed to achieve sexed vs non-sexed seems like a red herring. The fundamental point is still, there is no shift from one sex to the other. The most you can claim, and I'm only offering it to make the point, is that some people could be defined as non-sexed if you like. Sure, call children pre-sexed, even say someone who has extreme surgery is neutered if you like, but you can never get to cross-sexed.

emptiedriver · 2021-06-06T10:46:11+00:00

Bioessentialism, a shorthand for biological essentialism, is the idea that we are born with specific, immutable traits by virtue of our sex.

Can you define what "sex" is? We do not have to have specific traits by virtue of our sex in order to have a sex. Things like having XX chromosomes and a female reproductive system are not by virtue of being female. They are the reason someone is defined as female. They are the same as being female. It is an a=a situation.

You can say it is essentialist to suggest that just because someone is female, they will naturally want to wear dresses. But it does not make sense to claim it's essentialist to say that just because someone is female, they will be female. Wearing dresses is a flexible social role. Having a vagina is a material reality that defines the category. Not all cats are necessarily sweet and cuddly, but all cats are felines - which means they're 4-legged mammals of a certain type, etc. Certain characteristics are just part of the definition. It will usually be physical facts.

This also means not all women have female sex organs and release eggs. Not all men have male sex organs and release sperm

All humans have either male or female sexual reproductive systems (unless perhaps they have some kind of very rare disorder, but as I understand it even most "intersex" individuals have the basis of a male or female system, just with dysfunction).

Why aren't children sexless eventhough they can not release eggs or sperms?

It's perfectly reasonable to consider children essentially sexless. Girls and boys are not yet women and men. They're distinct but until puberty the distinction is minimal.

Sure someone who removes all their sex organs in a surgery once had sex organs, but now they don't, and they don't meet the definition of sex, which requires one to have certain organs and release gametes. So why aren't they considered sexless or less of a sex?

Even in cases where everything has been removed, the other system hasn't been implanted so the most you can claim is that they've been desexed (as people used to say about eunuchs). No one changes sex. Also, it's very difficult to remove everything and not healthy if it's not a last resort. Beyond that, sex is embedded even more deeply than that - the shape of the skeleton, the size of other organs, the space left behind if things are removed, would all give away which sex the body was altered from.

traditional patriarchal structures: “Men are stronger, less emotional and better suited to lead.” It persists today in the form of gender roles, gender-based exclusion, and transphobia... TERFs generalize the “universal experiences” of women, e.g. having a uterus or menstruating.

Do you see the difference? Once you start getting into adjectives and personality traits, likes and dislikes, capacities and preferences, those are things that can change with individuals and which tend to be grouped under stereotypes. But physical facts are easy to distinguish. Having a uterus is just fact. And it's part of the definition of female for mammals. If we want to change the definition of woman from its simple cow/bull, rooster/hen, man/woman version, then we need a new categorization that has some kind of meaning. What does woman mean if it doesn't mean "adult human female"?

emptiedriver · 2021-05-29T14:23:56+00:00

While one person always has a hard time speaking for a larger group - what an individual woman experiences isn't necessarily true of all women - we can say that it's pretty widely agreed that fancy lingerie, uncomfortable corsets and straps and garters and all that, are almost always bought by women who are trying to please men. Women who are happily single (cat ladies and such) or long married (mothers or dusty old wives) or lesbians aren't stereotypically known for those kinds of male-pleasing gear. To females, it's not necessarily what makes a woman attractive, and that cat lady in sweat pants may be super hot if you'd just engage with her. But males seem to get caught up in shiny pink bras.

That makes me wonder what skimpy clothing women are getting excited by while staring at themselves in the mirror. Sitting there, talking to themselves in boxers and a tee shirt, enjoying the way the light falls against their own clavicle? I'm not buying it.

It's more akin to the female version of men flexing in the mirror.

If you're talking about getting dressed up to look hot for men, yes, even to a further degree. There's very little female-female sexuality that is based around pole-dancing, heel-wearing, frilly satin leotarded ladies. That's just a male fantasy...

emptiedriver · 2021-05-25T18:21:02+00:00

This alleged straight man allegedly talked to his alleged straight friends too, and they all allegedly agreed with him that they'd all date trans women, so why won't gay bros date trans men? The whole thing seems like a set up...

emptiedriver · 2021-05-24T07:43:35+00:00

I think "transgender" is a modern phenomenon of presenting as the opposite sex that has become more popular thanks to increasingly impressive cosmetic surgery. Males who want to can pay a lot of money and get some very good treatments to achieve an image of what they want women to look like. This can be done by men who don't want to be homosexual, and by men who think they could do a better job of being women than women do. So, yeah, they exist.

I don't think it's healthy since I am not a big fan of cosmetic surgery and I think it'd be psychologically better for gay men to accept their bodies and natural desires, and for straight men to accept women as real people and not as objects as desire, but I can't deny people who want to do this are real. What I can deny about them is that they are the same as women. They're men who are presenting as women.

As surgeries improve, they are able to blend in more and at least in non-intimate settings people (some more than others) will often assume they are women. I don't know where that leaves us. Maybe it's always been this way, but it seems like more and more, everything is presentation - what pictures you show on FB is happy you are, what decor your living room has is what makes it homey, how the meal looks matters more than the traditional recipe - so if you look like you fit the concept "woman" that's all that really matters to most of those around you, and if you don't but you say you want to, it's just rude to get fussy. It's like saying the pictures on FB weren't that nice or you didn't like someone's living room design. No one is concerned over the underneath quality of how people really feel and whether their home is actually happy. That is just not your business, and now, someone's sex is not either. The food looks pretty, give it a like on Instagram and don't ask to come over for dinner and discuss the details.

I was always okay with being polite in public, as long as we all understood that you can't judge a book by its cover but now that people are insisting that the way things look = the way things truly are, I'm frustrated and want to get things clear. Sex change is not possible. Cosmetic surgery can get quite intricate though.

emptiedriver · 2021-05-19T07:27:47+00:00

For every [male] wanting access to woman's facilities (bathrooms, locker rooms), there is a [female] wanting access to men's facilities.

Not sure that that is true, but even if it is, who would you expect women to be concerned about?

Trans men are not infringing on women's rights. They're annoyingly ditching the fight for women's rights and trying to opt out of a material problem by proclaiming themselves to be men, but they aren't causing a material problem, or at very least not one for women, which is who feminists are fighting for. If anyone needs to be worrying about the direct impact of trans men, it's not other women. For us, the worry is their indirect impact of giving up on womanhood altogether, and there's plenty of discussion about that.

emptiedriver · 2021-05-16T11:12:33+00:00

ugh this is so painful to listen to. She just sounds like such an idiot. The other advocates sound like sensible speakers with reasonable things to say. She is babbling and deliberately ignoring things (skipping over the distinctions in definitions as if they don't exist, for instance). I was disappointed that the female judge didn't seem very sharp either, made me feel a little embarrassed for my sex, which is obviously just coincidence but still. Not an uplifting video for a feminist :/

emptiedriver · 2021-05-15T10:44:44+00:00

Why is racial segregation discriminatory, while sex segregation is a requirement and not discriminatory?

When women are not allowed into men's clubs, it's sexist. There have never been separate drinking fountains for women. It's just places where men and women undress that are separate, and that's because we have different bodies and there is a risk of sexual assault, right? Black and white segregation was living spaces, buses, shops - black people were not allowed into the white world at all because they were considered lesser. Places where women were not allowed into men's spaces were sexist, and that was fought against in the exact same way. Places where they're separated for physical reasons are because male and female have different bodies.

why should lesbians be allowed in women's spaces

Most simply, lesbians may have unwanted thoughts, but they don't pose as much of a danger. They are less likely to physically overpower, they are less able to sexually violate, and they cannot impregnate other women. In addition most lesbians understand that it's unpleasant to be leered at and will not want to seem threatening. Also, there are just a smaller percentage of lesbians among a group of women than hetero men among a group of men.

Nothing is a 100% solution, but changing with your own sex handles 99% of the problem. You can't really regulate "don't go in if you might do something bad", and where are you going to have lesbians change? But it's a small enough issue to just accept division by sex, although famously that has resulted in male bathrooms turning into gay sex spots in the past... I've never heard of the equivalent issue arising for women's areas though.

emptiedriver · 2021-05-13T13:16:59+00:00

I am honestly not sure most of the time...

When I have to choose between stereotypically masculine or feminine options, I can go one way or the other but generally neither is my choice. Like:

watch the game or go shopping? watch the game. But really I'd rather take out the board games...
superhero action movie or romantic comedy? romantic comedy. But actually I'm more of a Charlie Kaufman type...
hot dress or cool suit? cool suit. But I'm happy in jeans...
redecorate or get a sports car? redecorate. But why not spend it on travel?

Generally I just don't tend to go for the things people associate with stereotypes that much.

emptiedriver · 2021-05-08T13:36:21+00:00

So these trans activists have no trouble understanding, or even expect, that when a person transitions their partner will no longer be attracted to them?

I think for most GC people, the variations of attraction that don't have to do with sexual orientation (whether you feel physically aroused by same sex or opposite sex partners) are basically personality things, the same way all the variations of style, haircut, hobbies, speech affectation, are personality things. Putting it all under the umbrella of "gender" is locking it into a social role. Just be yourself, do what you like, like who you like, but you don't have to define yourself by rules of the culture.

Your sex is a physical fact so you can't "identify" in or out of that, but things like whether you like skirts or dating people with nail polish is just details. If you've got a thing for people who wear skirts, that's a psychological connection you've made somewhere along the way. If you're aroused by chemical reactions, that's an orientation (and if it happens with both sexes, you're bi).

emptiedriver · 2021-05-02T21:22:14+00:00

Once someone’s a republican anyway, it doesn’t matter much to committed liberals what the context or informed knowledge is, though. I could see this making people take a second look or listen to the other side if it were just a celebrity trans person with no political affiliation, but once there’s an obvious political angle, they can be easily dismissed as having selfish motivation to go against rights they’re too rich or brainwashed to grasp the need for...

emptiedriver · 2021-05-02T06:35:37+00:00

That seems like it will just give democrats a more solid reason to reject him as a trans advocate, the way black republicans get called Uncle Toms. If they are at least liberal on their own issue then they're just "fiscally conservative" or whatever, and it's a little more complicated. But this won't be complicated - now he can be dismissed as a traitor to his own kind.

If he weren't running for office, this might have been useful, but since he's already come out as not just republican but wanting to represent the party as the governor, he'll just be seen as following the party line.

emptiedriver · 2021-04-24T11:20:06+00:00

Basing "male, female, man, woman" on cultural values or stereotypes rather than on biological or material reality means that a)there is no standard definition, ie, what "counts" as a man or woman will depend on personal opinion. Was David Bowie a man? What about all those men in previous centuries who wore wigs and high heels? What about all the ones in hollywood who wear make up all the time? Gay men? Effeminate men? Men who look like hairy lumberjacks but say they feel womanly? Who gets to decide what counts and how long does it count for if the style changes?

and more important, b), there is no definition for the material difference of the sexes, which is a biological reality that we should have a name for the way we have a name for the distinction of the sexes in literally every other species: bull, cow - rooster, hen - the human who can ejaculate, the human who has a uterus? And then they have medical issues and we can't differentiate at all even though obviously they are distinct? It's silliness. Biologically we are speaking of two separable categories. Yes, humans do not follow their instincts in the same way that animals do, but they still have animal capacities that we can't ignore. It's how we reproduce. Our personalities don't fit in categories nearly so neatly. It's like putting everyone into what star sign they are or something. No one's "gender identity" is quite so absolute. But your sex is just a bodily fact, like eye color or foot size. It doesn't have to tell you much, but it may tell you something, at least about how society treats you (as skin color or hair texture often does). Hide it, and you might have a slightly different story, but you won't have a different sex.

emptiedriver · 2021-04-20T10:36:12+00:00

Pitiful. Even after getting she wanted, it didn't solve the BPD, and the suicidal ideation obviously continued... And now the mother will try to erase all the memories from before the transition? It's ludicrous. My kid is only 7 and there is so much to remember already - how would you pretend that just didn't exist or was somehow physically false? It's incomprehensible. Why a trans person will not just be known as trans, I cannot understand.

emptiedriver · 2021-04-18T12:36:58+00:00

who later shows love to this other woman, and the viewers' reaction to this drama in the comments was often that lesbians are men (trapped) in women's bodies so the drama accurately portrays lesbians.

If this were true of all lesbians, wouldn't they all be men, and so not be attracted to one another but only to straight women? I don't think this logically works, even if you leave aside the homophobic issues.

And beyond that you have to begin from some pretty unfounded spiritual assumptions, which is fine for your personal beliefs but not reasonable when making a scientific argument. Asking someone to prove why trans men or lesbians aren't "male souls trapped in female bodies" is a useless premise for a debate when you haven't shown that there could be any such thing as a "male soul" to begin with. Answer what you mean by a soul, how does it exist, how is it male, how does it inhabit a female body, and then maybe we can talk about if your theory makes sense. Just using a word and hoping it sort of fills in the blanks through vague metaphors is not science.

It's even more complicated for a "male brain" since that is something that you don't even imagine to exist separately from the body. So why should we consider it to have a sex distinct from the body it spends its entire life as a component of? It's the brain of the body it belongs to, so to say it has a different sex there needs to be a way to explain the way a brain has a reproductive system...

emptiedriver