Hopefully this isn't formatted badly, given that I've never posted here before, but I thought I would share my story since I'm getting pretty frustrated. I guess this could be a rant, since I could never say this to anyone I know in my life. Anyway, as a 17 year old lesbian, I am pretty surrounded by the woke crowd, you could say. I don't know what it is like for older people, but everyone I know who isn't straight is pan, nonbinary, or occasionally bi. I have two good friends, both of whom were the only lesbians I knew, until that changed.
About a year ago, one of the two told me that she identified as trans. This surprised me, because it honestly came out of nowhere. She never wore feminine clothes, but she was never even butch and we had been friends for years without her ever expressing any kind of disdain for being female or lesbian. Now, I care about her a lot, so I call her by her new name and use male pronouns, since that is the only way I could keep her as a friend. Besides, it wasn't really hurting me at all, so it didn't seem like a big deal.
Maybe 4 months ago, the second friend who is dating the friend who is now trans told me that she identifies as nonbinary and pansexual now. I guess she had to ditch the lesbian label to stay with her partner, but being nonbinary also came out of nowhere. Again, we'd been friends for years and she was always pretty feminine and never once expressed discomfort with that. Still, using new pronouns didn't hurt me, and I care for her, so I did it. She still respects me as a lesbian though, and I am glad for that. The other friend does not, unfortunately.
Now, cut to the present. The trans friend and I spend a lot of time together, since it is the summer. Anyway, she knows I am a lesbian. However, as of late, she keeps trying to convince me I am trans. I get it, she may just want someone to relate to, so I can't be too mad, but I think it is disrespectful. She asked me if I "feel like a girl", commented that she thinks I'll use "she/they pronouns" in college, said she keeps subconsciously using "they/them pronouns" for me, told me she thinks I'll "figure things out soon", etc. However, the thing that bothered me most was when she implied that my body image issues are because of "dysphoria". The thing is, I'm currently struggling with an eating disorder and have body image issues because of that. She knows this. She watches me struggle to eat food and has listened to my rants about it. I hate my body because I feel fat, not because I'm "in the wrong body". There is a huge difference there, and I am honestly hurt that she can't see that.
My point in typing this out is this: why can't I just be a lesbian? I respect the identities of everyone at my school, regardless of whether or not I understand, so why can't they respect mine? It is not even just my friend who does this. I don't want to make this a book, but I get woke kids at my school asking me for my pronouns (they never ask my straight friends even if they are next to me), people using "they/them" for me without asking, etc. I'm just tired of all this, I guess. Is this sort of thing a common experience? Will things get better or worse in college? I guess I am just a bit pessimistic for the future and all.