ColonizationDiary of a salty, homophobic genderspecial.

submitted by artetolife from (thestranger.com)

all 32 comments
sorted by:
top
newinsightfulfun

[–]julesburm1891 37 insightful - 2 fun37 insightful - 1 fun38 insightful - 2 fun -  (5 children)

in a space I call ~fruity manhood~

Starting off strong with homophobia.

something called bioessentialism, which is the practice of assigning meaning and worth to genitalia and sex assigned at birth.

No one is “assigning” sex. This isn’t a junior high group project. Your sex is observed and noted as a physical reality.

I hop on the apps (Grindr, Scruff) and see these same men. I message a few of them, as I’ve just seen them in public, and they’ve expressed explicit sexual interest in me. None of them responded to me. Why?

Okay. First off, they didn’t express explicit sexual interest. If they had, they would’ve tried to hook up at the bar. They merely looked at you and you assigned meaning to it that may or may not have actually existed.

Anyways, if they were interested, they’re definitely not now because they know you’re a woman.

It was a trans-centered and trans-led event, and it was very gay

It was very trans by the sound of it.

Hole or no hole, dick or no dick, it is time for us all to agree that it sucks to be reduced down to genitalia.

It does suck for you because your entire get up is chasing after people who aren’t into pussy OR chasing after people who are into pussy and then being mad at them for it. For the rest of us, honestly acknowledging our sexual orientation and dating the sex(es) we’re into doesn’t suck at all.

[–]dilsencySame-sex community 28 insightful - 1 fun28 insightful - 0 fun29 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

For the rest of us, honestly acknowledging our sexual orientation and dating the sex(es) we’re into doesn’t suck at all.

Somehow I never thought of this response, lol. Them claiming "it is time for us all to agree that it sucks to be reduced down to genitalia" is pure projection; us commonfolk do not mind at all being recognized as being of the biological sex that we are. Please, call me a man because of me being male. Go right on ahead.

[–]julesburm1891 26 insightful - 1 fun26 insightful - 0 fun27 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah, we aren’t the ones with the problem. Tbh, I’ve always assumed this is how the whole non-binary thing started. The trans community is projecting their “gender identity” so hard that people not “having” one assumes that means something’s wrong with them. They’re mistaking a lack of mental illness as a problem.

[–]holy_goat 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

The only people who describe themselves or events as "very" gay are straight i s2g

[–]CleverFoolOfEarth 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Straight or 15 and haven't figured out much else out about who they are yet.

[–]Q-Continuum-kin 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Okay. First off, they didn’t express explicit sexual interest. If they had, they would’ve tried to hook up at the bar. They merely looked at you and you assigned meaning to it that may or may not have actually existed.

This seems to be a huge issue. it's a lack of social intelligence and tied strongly to autism which we know is prevalent in trans individuals. I have a bit of a problem with this myself but I recognize it as a weakness and if i misinterpret signals and someone rejects me I end up feeling the need to apologize for misinterpreting. Due to this I also miss tons of signals the other way because i am afraid of making a friendship uncomfortable by reading too much into their signals. Later on I figure out that it was a signal after the ship has sailed.

The ongoing theme with these people is that they interpret everything as sexual and specifically about them in a sexual way. It's extreme narcissism combined with zero social intelligence.

[–]xanditAGAB (Assigned Gay at Birth) 24 insightful - 21 fun24 insightful - 20 fun25 insightful - 21 fun -  (1 child)

Why do cis people reduce everyone to genitals? Find out in my new column about my hole.

[–]julesburm1891 19 insightful - 19 fun19 insightful - 18 fun20 insightful - 19 fun -  (0 children)

I’m a polyamorous slut but I can’t bring myself to say the word vagina!

[–]emptiedriver 31 insightful - 1 fun31 insightful - 0 fun32 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It's not a "hole", it's a vagina. It's a muscular canal that leads to a cervix, which is part of an organ, connected to tubes which release gametes on a cycle. It's part of an entire system that is regulated by hormones and over time helped to organize a bunch of other elements of the active biological unity that is you.

There are plenty of other things that can be "holes" and if they were all the same, then it wouldn't matter, would it - but somehow, it's not about holes. It's about the whole person, who has a complete body that is not just a generic doll with a random detachable set of "junk." You're a living person. Accept your vagina.

[–]book_hoarder 24 insightful - 1 fun24 insightful - 0 fun25 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

I don't understand this idea that, after someone chooses to drastically alter their body to the point of becoming undesirable to vast swathes of people, it is the fault of said people for failing to find the changes sexually appealing. Surely, when choosing to transition, you should take into account how much it will impact on your dating/sex life and weigh the costs and benefits accordingly, not demand that other people amend their own desires and expectations to suit your personal choice. I do not demand that straight women "examine their genital preferences" so that I might have a larger dating pool. Rather, I accept that I have a significantly smaller dating pool and operate within those parameters, knowing that it is a better alternative to living in a way that is untrue to myself. No one is under any obligation to tailor their own desires to the demands of your "hole."

[–]jim_steak 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

I wonder to what degree some of these trans people have been sexually assaulted, and if that might explain why they've put themselves in a situation where they can seek love and romance without the sexual aspect everyone else is interested in. More severe body dysmorphic disorders like anorexia have really high overlaps with sexual assault, and it might explain some of the weird, dissociated ways trans people describe their own bodies and sex, like how the woman in this piece won't stop talking about her "hole". I'm not an expert on sexual assault reactions, but I've heard it's not uncommon for people to try to make themselves unattractive in some way to ward off future assaults, and I have to wonder when I see people literally removing their genitals if this isn't a more extreme manifestation of that response.

[–]SerpensInferna 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I would say a very high percentage have experienced sexual assault. It does seem to be one of the primary motivations for transmen, at least.

[–][deleted]  (1 child)

[removed]

    [–]automoderatorHuman-Exclusionary Radical Overlord[M] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    Your submission has been removed due to:

    Rule 4. Disallowed Language

    Our sub seeks to champion LGB people of a variety of backgrounds, and want all of our LGB users to feel welcome. We do not allow specific ideological slang/terms to be used which may be used in a negative or divisive context. These include, but are not limited to: TIM/TIF, Timmy/Tiffany, MTT/FTT, etc

    We suggest using the following terminology instead: trans-identified (fe)male, trans (wo)man, trans natal (fe)male, trans people, FTM / MTF

    If you edit your submission to remove the phrase, or you feel this removal was performed in-error, please let the Moderators know by sending ModMail so your submission may be re-approved.

    I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this sub if you have any questions or concerns.

    [–]GreykittymommaMagical lady 💜 19 insightful - 8 fun19 insightful - 7 fun20 insightful - 8 fun -  (0 children)

    Keep every single one of your disgusting holes far away from me lady. Also, stop harassing gay people ya fucker!

    [–]Virginia_Plain 20 insightful - 4 fun20 insightful - 3 fun21 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

    I have given trans men "a look," but it was more realizing that something wasn't fitting. Even the trans men I've met who pass reasonably well are different. It has been explained to me later in some cases that this person was trans, and I thought "oh!"

    This person's "expand your mind, my hole will thank you" statement at the end isn't really compelling for me. There is no motivation I am offered other than that I benefit someone who's "marginalized" in some way. I'm not interested in having sex to provide some sort of reparations.

    Also, stop casually referring to the men you want to seduce as fags, it really gives away what you think of them!

    Edit: And the "cis queer people have a problem with genitals" statement is probably the most fucked up thing about this. The BBC article was supposedly this fear mongering propaganda, and yet time and time again, these stories are published with the same message: you homos need to work on yourselves.

    [–]lunarstrain 19 insightful - 4 fun19 insightful - 3 fun20 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

    So, this line of thinking is highly restrictive for those of us with magical, multifaceted, and liberated junk.

    What?? I hate the enlightened queer attitude that drips from articles like these. It feels like they talk to homosexuals and non-interested bisexuals like we're fussy children who don't want to eat our vegetables.

    [–]MarkJeffersonTight defenses and we draw the line 20 insightful - 2 fun20 insightful - 1 fun21 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

    Kate put cis and trans men into two fundamentally different categories, categorizing them by an assumed difference in bodies.

    The Holy Trans themselves created the (Fallen) Cis category to validate their own fantasies by othering non-trans. Because the difference in bodies wasn't just "assumed", but plainly obvious. Time to reap what was sown and accept those boxes.

    Take my recent interactions with cis fags at the new Union bar.

    from numerous cis fags as soon as we make eye contact.

    oh stfu

    [–]PatsyStoneMaverique 18 insightful - 2 fun18 insightful - 1 fun19 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

    The Stranger! Y'all, The Stranger used to be so cool. It was up there with The Village Voice, alternative newspapers I daydreamed about writing for when I was a kid.

    Now it's sad, and kind of uptight and pearl-clutchy. This entire piece is fisking wealthy young people's etiquette like it's some philosophical cornerstone. This is like Anti-Oscar Wildean. He would have a field day with this woman.

    She makes me think of Miss Brill, from the Ngaio Marsh story. Deluded and out of touch, scandalized by reality whenever it peeks through.

    [–]wafflegaffWoman. SuperBi. 13 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 0 fun14 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    Yup, The Stranger. Get on the rape culture train, y'all.

    The Stranger lives in Seattle. So sadly this is not surprising, but still pathetic. I notice there's no ability to comment. I haven't read it much online in years, but reading the comments used to be quite entertaining.

    [–]ChunkeeguyTeam T*RF Fuck Yeah 17 insightful - 3 fun17 insightful - 2 fun18 insightful - 3 fun -  (5 children)

    It's not because I am not attractive—they're attracted to me on the surface. It's because I am trans—something I blatantly list on my dating profile. So, these men are suddenly uninterested in me because of my ~perceived~ hole and ~perceived~ lack of a dick.

    Actually it is indeed because you're unattractive, both inside and out, and also because your ~perceived~ hole and lack of dick are an ~actual~ fucking vagine (not HOLE) and dick, you narcissistic utter twat.

    [–]julesburm1891 13 insightful - 15 fun13 insightful - 14 fun14 insightful - 15 fun -  (4 children)

    You’re telling me this isn’t the stuff of gay men’s dreams, Chunkee?

    [–]Datachost 11 insightful - 10 fun11 insightful - 9 fun12 insightful - 10 fun -  (2 children)

    Why do so many of them have mullets?

    [–]julesburm1891 14 insightful - 9 fun14 insightful - 8 fun15 insightful - 9 fun -  (0 children)

    I suppose they think it makes them look cool like the MMA fighters who’ve been wearing them lately. They don’t get that style of mullet is one thing on a ripped, confident guy and another on a chubby, neurotic woman.

    [–]RiverSong 13 insightful - 10 fun13 insightful - 9 fun14 insightful - 10 fun -  (0 children)

    It's the standard "queer haircut"?

    [–]xanditAGAB (Assigned Gay at Birth) 6 insightful - 12 fun6 insightful - 11 fun7 insightful - 12 fun -  (0 children)

    All that and a vagina too, sign me up

    [–]motss-pb 17 insightful - 1 fun17 insightful - 0 fun18 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

    Bioessentialism. Isn't this the belief that we are, in essence, our physical biological bodies and nothing more than that? If so, I agree with the bioessentialists. To believe that we have some kind of essence beyond our physical bodies is to believe in the idea of a soul. While people are free to believe in imaginary gendered souls (i.e. gender essentialism), forcing that moronic belief on others is religious zealotry.

    [–]Bright_paintingLoad, lesbian biologist 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

    You are almost right but not quite. Bioessentialism is the theory that the behaviour/traits of an individual is determined by their genes/biology. According to this theory, the environment is completely irrelevant for how the individual will choose to act. There is still much we are unsure about, but what we do know today is that both the genetic makeup AND the environment play a part.

    [–]motss-pb 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

    So the author is giving a misleading definition of bioessentialism and it actually means the same thing as gender essentialism. What is the correct term for the gender critical position? Sex essentialism?

    [–]Bright_paintingLoad, lesbian biologist 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    I am sorry but to be honest I'm not quite sure. All I know is that the author is quite off in her definition of bioessentialism. It's not so much of assigning worth to biological reality, and more of expecting a certain behaviour from a certain individual. (A prime example is to expecting women to "act like women" just because they were born female and vice versa with men.)

    [–]NeedMoreCoffee~=[,,_,,]=^_^= 14 insightful - 4 fun14 insightful - 3 fun15 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

    Lol poor little Will surrounded by those mean bioessentialist cis people who have sexual preferences. How dare that lesbian wanting to date Will because she thinks Will is not a man but better. How awful.🙄

    [–]Rosefield 12 insightful - 8 fun12 insightful - 7 fun13 insightful - 8 fun -  (0 children)

    This lady is a giant assHOLE

    [–][deleted] 14 insightful - 3 fun14 insightful - 2 fun15 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

    Dating in Seattle, as a trans man, really all comes back to my hole.

    I know this because I get around. I've been an active polyamorous slut for the better half of my adulthood. I came out when I was 20, first as a high femme, then as a butch/genderqueer person, and now as a guy who lives in a space I call ~fruity manhood~.

    First three sentences. Do I really need to read more? My prediction, without reading anything else, is a shitton of homophobia and misogyny.