Ha ha, they don’t know they’re GAY

sunzzy · 2021-03-25T07:26:55+00:00

Honestly to me its sad that she seems to be using her non-binary identity to cope with her uncomfortableness that comes with being objectified as a woman.

sunzzy · 2021-03-19T08:20:31+00:00

Well that is what I want to know, I don't get why gender is being made so complicated; I'm not a girl because I like make-up and the colour pink I'm a girl because of my biology. Similarly the fact that I steal my dads clothes doesn't turn me into a boy. Non-binary seems like a much worse version of 'I'm not like other girls' and it makes me sad that girls are being told that if they don't fit gender roles perfectly then they can't be real girls.

sunzzy · 2021-03-13T00:04:45+00:00

agreed, at least I'm only there for two more months. Our tutor just loves to discuss her political opinions too, to be honest I couldn't care less what she believes, its the fact that she asks students what they think about things that are in no way related to the course we are doing it puts me and others in a very uncomfortable position. I never openly disagree with what she says out of self preservation but even choosing to say that I don't want to talk about something is apparently enough for her to dislike me.

The favouritism in our class is so blatant , she will go the extra mile to help some students, whilst for me she doesn't even reply to my emails or if I ask for feedback on my work she will fob me off saying 'oh just add more detail' when others are getting in depth criticism. I don't care if she likes me I just want fairness

sunzzy · 2021-02-26T23:16:59+00:00

I got straight because I don't want threesomes or to go to gay bars

sunzzy · 2021-02-20T18:55:19+00:00

Also if men can get in by mistake then surely it could mistake biological women for men, especially for those of us who, like me, have a naturally more masculine appearance

sunzzy · 2021-02-14T00:36:29+00:00

that's nasty...

is this one of them Neo-vaginas that I'm assured cannot possibly be differentiated from a real one? Im good thanks...

sunzzy · 2021-02-12T22:10:05+00:00

honestly the coloured hair thing is so true, I've literally been irritated by every person with coloured hair that I've met! At least they make themselves visible so that you know who to avoid ;)

sunzzy · 2021-01-28T17:47:56+00:00

I made bbq pulled jackfruit buns, I do quite like cooking but cleaning up afterwards puts me off!

sunzzy · 2021-01-16T23:17:16+00:00

Imagine thinking virgin was an insult...

sunzzy · 2021-01-03T23:07:16+00:00

Honestly its hard to explain why, I've always liked women who are older than me, there must be something wrong with me. I guess partially because she is so confident but also she is really talented and pretty. She is also a musician like me and I admire her a lot so in some ways its a case of 'do I want you or do I want to be you?' Thing is, I know a relationship wouldn't work out and I don't want to make a move, sometimes its just nice to feel excited when you see someone even if you never act on it. Im not sure if that's a normal way of thinking though.

sunzzy · 2020-12-29T22:37:16+00:00

this sounds like the ideal date where do I find a person to do this with???

sunzzy · 2020-12-03T19:39:19+00:00

Theres nothing wrong with being bisexual, I just wish they wouldn't use our word. This kind of thing is the reason people think that being a lesbian is a phase or don't accept that we don't also like men

sunzzy · 2020-11-03T14:49:14+00:00

Thanks, and don't worry we all are guilty of being pessimistic sometimes and its ok to admit when you're feeling lonely. I don't think a fear of being alone forever is just a lesbian thing, my straight friends worry about it too, but I'm sure you have lots of things that make you brilliant and one day someone will appreciate it!

sunzzy · 2020-11-02T10:03:54+00:00

I have the same fear , I guess its because I live in such a small town and the only other lesbian I know doesn't like me... I'm still holding onto the hope that I will find someone though. It won't be too long til I start going to uni in London so hopefully I'll be able to meet more people there.

I don't have any advice for how to get rid of that fear, although it seems to definitely be a common one. I'd say spend some time looking at what there is in the places you are thinking of moving to , try to look at the exciting parts of the future not the uncertain or scary parts. Thats what I am doing.

Theres no reason to feel hopeless about it yet , we are both still young and there is no rule saying that you have to have met the love of your life by a certain age.

sunzzy · 2020-10-31T19:34:14+00:00

I know right! The way people talk about this makes me feel really uncomfortable. Regardless of a persons sexuality the concept of a dominant and submissive person in a relationship seems really unhealthy and I hate that its normalised. If individuals enjoy taking these roles in a sexual sense then good for them I guess... its not really my business. But in everyday life the idea of one person dominating the other sounds borderline abusive. Power imbalances in relationships almost never end well, trust me I've been there, I don't want a 'top' I want a relationship where we are equals.

sunzzy · 2020-10-25T17:30:07+00:00

I'm sorry, why the fuck is allies included? Ally is not a sexuality. Questioning is also not a gender or sexuality, As far as I know intersex people do not consider themselves LGBT What's the difference between transsexual and transgender? Demisexual is just being a normal person Genderqueer doesn't exist and two-spirit sounds like a severe mental illness to me Polyamorous is not a sexuality , most are straight, and I don't want to be grouped together with a bunch of sluts who can't settle down I'm yet to hear the actual difference between bisexual and pansexual...

So what does that leave.. oh yeah...

THE ORIGINAL FUCKING ACRONYM!

sunzzy · 2020-10-01T21:41:54+00:00

how much are you willing to bet this guy has no idea what boobs actually feel like?

sunzzy · 2020-09-18T20:31:17+00:00

hol up... orgasms change your appearance???

sunzzy · 2020-09-17T16:13:39+00:00

real talk tho ;)

sunzzy · 2020-09-11T17:06:03+00:00

Literally so true, yesterday in my college we were filling in some forms and our tutor was complaining about there only being two options for gender and I was like "at least the ones that actually exist are written"

... soooo guess who's not getting help with their Ucas application!!

sunzzy · 2020-09-02T19:37:53+00:00

I absolutely want kids one day. It seems like I'm in the minority here but I actually hope I have a really big family when I'm older.

sunzzy · 2020-09-01T19:54:02+00:00

Before I realised I am attracted to girls all my friends had crushes on boys so I would choose a random one and pretend because I thought eventually I would start liking them. Newsflash, I didn't.

sunzzy · 2020-08-31T17:12:15+00:00

For me personality hugely affects my physical attraction. I can look at a woman and think she looks good but usually I feel more physically attracted once I feel attracted to other things about them.

Like, if you have a nice accent I'm gonna swoon and it might just be the musician in me thinking 'ooh listen to da pretty sound' but it works.

But I also think that the way you act and the things you wear can make you so much more attractive than just wearing the least amount of clothing possible

sunzzy · 2020-08-31T14:35:01+00:00

You're not alone in hating the word 'queer' , even if it wasn't a word with negative connotations its still too vague. I don't want to be grouped with trans , gender fluid and bisexual people I am a lesbian and that's what I want people to refer to me as.

sunzzy · 2020-08-25T11:15:10+00:00

I find this so annoying , I cannot criticise people who would gladly kill me but people will get offended on my behalf about things I do not care about.

If you don't want to sell me a cake I'll feel mildly inconvenienced and take my money elsewhere, its a poor business decision but its your choice.

sunzzy · 2020-08-23T12:49:26+00:00

no but that sounds amazing

sunzzy · 2020-08-22T23:38:57+00:00

I'm a student rn but I think I want to study to be a music therapist. I know that I'd like to do something creative but I might change my mind.

If I could do anything I wanted I'd be a stay at home mum, I know a lot of people ridicule the idea or say its not a profession or they say I'm much to young to be thinking about having kids in the future, but that's what I want to do. Its irrelevant though since I'd never be able to afford it...

sunzzy · 2020-08-16T21:13:09+00:00

I am British and I'm 17

sunzzy · 2020-08-15T14:23:23+00:00

It seems that you and I would get on well.

sunzzy · 2020-08-13T12:09:53+00:00

Theres a really nice yew tree grove near me , it has a badger set underneath and there are some cool looking fungi there. It looks kinda spooky but kind of cool at the same time so I walk there a lot.

sunzzy · 2020-08-13T12:05:48+00:00

At first I thought you were talking about Aunts and then I realised I've been spelling it wrong my entire life

sunzzy · 2020-08-13T12:03:39+00:00

I just joined a gym last week so I go there everyday. Apart from that I go on long walks most days and during the lockdown I followed a lot of exercise videos online

sunzzy · 2020-08-13T12:01:34+00:00

Frozen blueberries

sunzzy · 2020-08-13T12:00:29+00:00

I think different things look good on different people. Personally I think elegance is sexier than just showing as much skin as possible , that can borderline on trashy. I love strong colours and slightly more formal looks, something that makes you look powerful. ( that could just be because I have a thing for women who are older than me)

But ultimately the most attractive people are those who wear clothes that fit them well and make them feel confident.

sunzzy · 2020-08-13T11:46:12+00:00

I only started harp last year , its quite difficult but it sounds really pretty. As for singing I've been doing it my whole life , started getting lessons at 14 and I decided to focus on classical singing , I'm hoping to get into one of the conservatories but the audition won't be for another two years.

sunzzy · 2020-08-11T20:30:52+00:00

I got a lot of emotions going on but I don't always express myself in ways that others really understand so people think that I'm angry when really im just a little sad

sunzzy · 2020-08-11T20:27:26+00:00

Thats cool, I always leave food out for little birds, no clue what types they are but they're certainly cute!

sunzzy · 2020-08-11T20:25:09+00:00

I love singing, especially opera and classical style. I also play the harp a little though I never really practice

sunzzy · 2020-08-11T20:23:23+00:00

Bees are awesome! I really wanted to have a beehive at my allotment but others who share the space have made it very clear they dislike the idea. (I get my revenge by stealing their blackberries though , muahahah :))

sunzzy · 2020-08-10T19:53:03+00:00

This is the exact reason I stay off social media for the most part, Its nice to have this forum where I can read about others who have similar experiences to me although I try not to read too many posts that talk about negative aspects of being lesbian just because I am still trying to come to terms with my sexuality and I don't need to feel anymore nervous about coming out.

Being at college and feeling different from everyone else definitely sucks so I 100% relate to the feelings of wanting to change myself to belong

sunzzy · 2020-08-08T12:29:17+00:00

Glad to know I'm not entirely alone on the nail thing, I love the way long nails look. I'd cut them if I needed to but for now they stay.

sunzzy · 2020-08-08T12:00:51+00:00

We do exist, I think that around our age (I'm 17) a lot of people are figuring stuff out and even then might be scared to come out. That is kinda the case for me , none of my friends know. It seems like people in general are more certain about their identities when they are a little older. But there will be people you know who are lesbians they might just not want to share that right now

sunzzy · 2020-08-08T11:20:21+00:00

dammit I wanted to move to Italy

sunzzy · 2020-08-08T11:15:42+00:00

eww... that's just... no

sunzzy · 2020-07-28T23:16:21+00:00

I love vintage clothes anything floral or with long floaty fabric. I also sometimes make clothes , sometimes they look like something a kid would wear but idc. And also really over the top headbands and flower crowns!

sunzzy · 2020-07-27T19:49:43+00:00

I do really want to come out to her, its more a matter of how, I usually avoid coming out so its only really my family that knows. It will be a while before choir starts again so at least I have time to think about it, but it sure is cool that in my tiny town in England with an even tinier community of musicians there is someone like me.

I too have only really had bisexual friends before, and some of the time they will later tell me they're straight which is kinda dissapointing because I'm lonely.

sunzzy · 2020-07-24T22:41:00+00:00

That sounds a little similar to what I felt when I thought that I was trans. I mistook wishing I could be a man and wishing I could be straight for actually being born in the wrong body. I think a lot of us at one point have wished that , life would be easier in many ways. It did really shock me how quickly after I told my GP that I was trans for me to end up on the waiting list for hormones, only about six months and one therapy session which barely went into any detail about why I felt that way. I am so glad that I came to the realisation before I made any permanent decisions.

Make sure you take some time to care for yourself, even if you might not always like your body its kept you alive for your entire life and I think that's something worth celebrating (I know it might sound a little dumb but it made me feel better:) ) If you want to look more womanly now could be a time to try a new style or new hair, whatever makes you feel comfortable. You deserve to feel good about yourself!!

sunzzy · 2020-07-24T16:29:38+00:00

Maybe, I just don't know if I'd actually be confident enough to say something like that to her but I do look forward to talking to her again, she seems a lot more extroverted than me.

sunzzy · 2020-07-23T22:14:26+00:00

Reading this definitely makes me feel lucky to have grown up where at least there are some people who are accepting. Where I live we are supposed to have LGBT inclusive lessons as part of sex-ed curriculum but my school decided not to do it , the only mention of it ever was when a science teacher told us that is is impossible for a lesbian to get an STI... needless to say I was very confused.

I am quite envious that it was more normal for people to dress differently from gender norms, to be fair most people my age seem to secretly thing all these quirky Neo-genders are stupid its just that no one wants to be seen as a bigot so people with different opinions generally just go along with it. TBH as far as I can see being 'non-binary' is just a trend and I wouldn't be surprised if most people grew out of it

sunzzy · 2020-07-23T16:31:41+00:00

Don't be embarrassed that was sweet! and origami is cool.

sunzzy · 2020-07-23T14:14:50+00:00

It annoys me the concept that if you have long nails you couldn't possibly be a lesbian, like JEEZ if you want someone to finger you you should probably be a little more polite...

sunzzy · 2020-07-23T14:11:38+00:00

Right? like I know I'm gorgeous but you don't have to question my identity!

sunzzy · 2020-07-23T14:09:58+00:00

One of my friends used to say she was bisexual but now says she is straight which is kind of a bummer because I liked having someone I could relate to.

It was literally a trend at one point when I was in high school for everyone to say they were bi, nearly everyone ended up being straight so I was pretty much waiting to find out I'm actually straight only to find out i'm the opposite

sunzzy · 2020-07-23T14:02:15+00:00

It is amazing how much having someone you already really admire turn out to be lesbian, I was genuinely really excited when I found out because its the first time it actually occurred to me that I'm not the only one.

What was it like being gay back then? I mean its great that the laws have changed for the better but there was still a lot of homophobia at my school so I think we still have a way to go as a society.

sunzzy · 2020-07-23T13:49:19+00:00

I can totally relate about about not being the stereotypical butch lesbian. It sucks that some people literally won't believe me if I tell them because I'm "too pretty" to be gay. Like I know that's meant to be a compliment but now whenever someone isn't surprised that I'm a lesbian I feel like they think I'm ugly or something...

Can we please just burn the stereotypes?

sunzzy · 2020-07-23T13:40:51+00:00

Thanks for the reply, I think I will try and speak to her when lockdown is over I guess its more a question of how do I bring it up, I don't really keep it a secret that I'm lesbian but if it doesn't come up in conversation I usually don't mention it so most of my friends don't actually know.

sunzzy · 2020-07-23T02:30:30+00:00

ahhhh I want to but I'm scared!!!

sunzzy · 2020-07-23T01:46:22+00:00

There is a really cute girl working at a bookshop near me , I actually really hate reading but I thought I might like a book if it were gay. So I picked up one of the Sarah waters books and she starts to talk about how much she loves her books. So I was pretty hopeful that she was a lesbian too ( which would be a miracle considering how few of us there are in my tiny town)

Long story short I researched more lesbian books because I was trying to work out for sure whether or not she is gay. My awkward ass ended up buying like £50 worth of books over a few weeks so I had an excuse to talk to this girl ( looking back I definitely sound like a creepy stalker...) I was planning to ask her out the next time I saw her but then ya know global pandemic put a stop to that :(

sunzzy · 2020-07-23T01:36:49+00:00

Lol I'm pretty sure we've all been there. I cringe so much at the way I acted when I had a crush on my singing teacher

sunzzy