That gender and queer theoris are hurting lesbian women so much. Those people just hate women and want to erase lesbians. I think you should try to find a way to make other lesbians to realize that you are just oldschool butch lesbian, and not part of this new mess. Maybe something "I am female and I am proud to be a woman, a lesbian", it need more thinking and depends on country you are from, I guess.

In LGB and Feminism movements we were fighting for everyone to accept women and lesbians as we are. And those queer-creeps are returning gender stereotypes back. And that hurts, and discouraging. So our fight for sweet spot under Sun is not ended yet, I suppose.

I am very bad at helping people with a good word, but I have an experience of hating my body and hating of myself being a woman. It was long before all this queer storm. I can tell you my story, maybe it can help you. As nowadays I love myself and proud to be who I am.

Half of my body is just scars. I have more than 20 big scars, my face is scared, my spine and sides are scared, my left hand is full of small scars.

Everything started from early school. I am redhead, and I was the only redhead in school, and maybe in city. And in addition to that, I have synesthesia and I was "weird" on explaining or asking teachers, as I was asking colors and other stuff. And it was in USSR, where everyone had same style, same looks, same hairstyle, same cloths - just because nothing else was selling in shops.

At some stage boys who were 4-5 years years ahead, started learning about inquisition, and they found there that ginger people are witches. A lot of people in school started mocking me. And it ended with few of them trying to actually burn me, that left big ugly scars on my neck and shoulder, and my hair almost completely burned, so I was bald. Bald girl was even more of a mocking. And then my periods started... I tried to wear boys uniform, was cutting my hair all the time, tried to be with boys, to act like I am not a woman, I tried to escape being myself. I thought I was born as a wrong sex, and I liked mostly girls too, so I had wrong sexual attraction too (I did not know lesbians exist back then, tho). Most of my life I was dyeing my hair because of that. And I was wearing cloths that were covering my scars. I never was going into public beaches to swim.

And then in my student years, students somewhere learned that I am a lesbian, and beat the sh*t out of me, and Principle stopped them from doing even worse. They were beating with legs, while I was laying on the ground. It broke my hand and made me suffer few body malfunctions I am still suffering, and it left scars, a lot. And one was on chin on face. I started hating myself and my body even more, but I was not able to hide scars anymore, so I was very uncomfortable even just walking around.

Then I found one woman, butch lesbian. She was few years older than me and grown up from hating her "masculine" body (she had problems with testosterone, but not yet PCOS), and started helping me to start loving myself. I really loved her too. And I slowly started stopping hating my body, I even started growing long hair again, few times even not dyed hair. And then...we were in bus, and car crushed from side. She died instantly, and I was pierced by a lot of metallic pieces, broke my ribs, one piece went through breasts, and my face got big scar, almost cutting my eye off (sorry it is a bit hard to write). So my body became even more scared, even more ugly, and even my face became ugly. And she was not there anymore to calm me down, to help me love myself. So I went full in self-loathing.

I spend in that state a lot of years, until one evening I was very nostalgic, looking at stars outside and listening to music, first played AC "Take it like a woman" (song is very close to home, so I love it, and Alice Cooper have few more songs like that "Only Women Bleed" and "Is it my body?") and then DT "Octavarium", and then BJ "Its my life", and I was recalling my times, when I fought through everything society was throwing at me, my time when I was refused work because I am woman, when I stood bravely against students who beaten me, when I was on LGB protests, and was arrested for that, and so on, that I was always going forward regardless of everything, and I was still hating my body and afraid what society thinks about me. And then I thought only one thought "What the f*ck I owe to them?" - just like that. They made my life hell on Earth, they were torturing myself whole life, and I still must afraid them not liking how I look or act? F*ck them, it is my life, my body, and I live for myself. And since then I started trying to love myself, all my scars, my hair color, my body, everything. And it is so much easier. Who cares what someone thinks? Am I living for them? No. Never.

Oh woman, that is a lot of text. It is way too messy, sorry for such dump of thoughts.

I hope it can help you.