all 18 comments

[–]piylot 30 insightful - 1 fun30 insightful - 0 fun31 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

IMAGINE if you had sex with someone and you're being more forward/taking initiative and they decide this means you're top and they're bottom and then don't reciprocate. Awful thing to teach young women about sex between women when most of these teens reading memes / watching tik toks don't have access to peers or resources telling them that's not a typical expectation of sex

[–]Hydiee 26 insightful - 1 fun26 insightful - 0 fun27 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I think it's mostly just teens/virgins pushing that. Also, I bet a large chunk of those lesbian teens aren't actually even lesbians and see it more as a fashion trend than a sexual orientation.

[–][deleted] 22 insightful - 2 fun22 insightful - 1 fun23 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

It annoys me, too. I also hate the excessive BDSM and "daddy" talk that's so common nowadays. I stay far, far away from any woman who calls herself daddy or mommy thinking it's cute or sexy. Barf.

[–]Elvira95 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Daddy no. But mommy is fun.

[–][deleted] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Not sure why I'm getting a reply to this comment about a month later. Anyway, I personally find all kinds of thinly veiled incestuous roleplay to be a huge turnoff so I've got to disagree.

[–]SailorMoon2020 16 insightful - 4 fun16 insightful - 3 fun17 insightful - 4 fun -  (1 child)

I also feel like them saying 'bottom' is an easy and acceptable way of saying pillow princess.

[–]blackrainbow[S] 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah, me too

[–][deleted] 16 insightful - 1 fun16 insightful - 0 fun17 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I can't stand the top/bottom discourse! So many of the people who participate are obvious virgins who seem to think these denote personality traits.

I have never been in a relationship where there was a clearly defined "top" or "bottom."

[–][deleted] 15 insightful - 1 fun15 insightful - 0 fun16 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

yeah they're teenagers who know jack shit

[–]FlanJam 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I thought it was a joke at first but people are taking it too seriously now. Seems kinda boring to follow predefined roles like that...

[–]reader 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Easy way to spot someone who have no clue how lesbians have sex. And avoid fakebians.

[–]sunzzy 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I know right! The way people talk about this makes me feel really uncomfortable. Regardless of a persons sexuality the concept of a dominant and submissive person in a relationship seems really unhealthy and I hate that its normalised. If individuals enjoy taking these roles in a sexual sense then good for them I guess... its not really my business. But in everyday life the idea of one person dominating the other sounds borderline abusive. Power imbalances in relationships almost never end well, trust me I've been there, I don't want a 'top' I want a relationship where we are equals.

[–]soundsituation 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I see it online WAY more than I encounter it irl. I basically agree with everything that's been said here, esp that the vast majority of lesbians don't use or need these terms, and that discussion of them skews heavily towards the very young.

I don't agree with what I perceive the subtext here to be however - I don't see anything wrong with top/bottom stone/pillow princess dynamics themselves, and I don't think it's any of our business in the first place.

[–]blackrainbow[S] 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It was not my intention, if a couple is ok with top/bottom dynamics is not my business, but they are a minority, I'm not ok on generalizing it on all lesbians.

[–]Elvira95 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Do you see it in Italy too? Peole always copying american shit

[–]blackrainbow[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

A little, unfortunately

[–]Elvira95 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

We're always copying stuff from them. It's SO bullshit.

[–]chupacabrawitch 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yea it's definitely weird... I think it's a male/gay guy thing that the young "qkweer" crowd latched onto, since they like everything to be so black and white. But I had an ex that was like, wanted to be a super top when she was really being a pillow princess lmao, whereas I'm like whatev ... It was kinda weird. I'm usually the more dominant one in bed, but I also like it when my wife takes charge, it's always been reciprocal with us. Some people are more dominant than others but I never heard it being like how it is now... Youngin's these days