What Were Your Best/Worst Subjects at School?

CJLez · 2020-09-24T18:50:25+00:00

Best Subjects

I was a few years ahead of the other kids in reading, and being curled up with a book was my favourite hobby so any subject with a lot of reading I was great at. Mainly history (which I loved, Horrible History books were my jam), English (language and literature) and RE. Surprisingly I never got my head around French though. Sciences and maths were a bit above average but nothing spectacular.

Worst Subjects

I have always had horrendous hand-eye coordination and, though I'm good at typing, my hands will not do anything else they're told (to the point of several years of mandatory after-school handwriting classes to make me legible). Two of my worst subjects were Art and Music. This was a small rural school in the 90s so, if a child was struggling in a lesson, it wasn't because there was something going on (in my case probably undiagnosed dyspraxia), it meant one thing and one thing only - the child was obviously not trying hard enough. Art and Music were mandatory until age 13 but from 8 years old I was punished by having to sit there and watch the other kids play instruments/paint because I 'didn't deserve to participate in the class if I wasn't going to try' despite trying my hardest every single time.

Nowadays I love going to the gym and walking but my worst lessons at school were PE. Not only did I have my co-ordination issues, I also had a huge amount of trouble with left versus right, a lopsided gait, severe asthma, poor eyesight, a tendency to fall over several times an hour and I was an absolute runt, both in terms of weight and height. Yeah, PE was never going to end well.

I wasn't the 'picked last' kid, I was the 'team captains having screaming matches about why I shouldn't be on their team until the teacher forced one side to have me' kid. I wasn't the slow-running kid, I was the kid who was given a cross-country course that was 50% shorter than everyone else's course and still came last every week.

The height of my physical prowess was joining the afterschool badminton club - after three years of classes I hit the shuttlecock over the net twice. Not twice in one go. Twice in the whole three years. At least I can laugh now about how hilariously useless I was at sports.

CJLez · 2020-09-24T16:02:26+00:00

One of my very first peaking moments was seeing someone post the poem "period, period - go away. I don't need you, I am gay" on AL and being ripped to shreds by people in the comments for a) being transphobic by implying that she wouldn't become pregnant and b) being transphobic because it was mocking transwomen who never get to experience the majesty of menstruation.

When an actual lesbian commented that it was unkind to wish to have a medical condition that caused them severe physical pain they were told by the mods that they didn't get to police language (oh the irony) and that they should be quiet because they couldn't possibly understand how mentally upsetting it was for transwomen to not have periods (this was before they all suddenly starting pretending that their periods were 'every symptom except the bleeding'.)

CJLez · 2020-09-17T17:35:50+00:00

Hufflepuffs - unite!

CJLez · 2020-09-16T18:00:06+00:00

My lopsided gait - unless I focus incredibly hard and walk incredibly slowly I end up both limping and drifting sideways whenever I walk. I always managed to tell myself that nobody but me was able to tell until a colleague one day said "why do you always walk like a pimp?"

Yup, guess it's noticeable. I doubt someone would find it endearing but a girl can dream!

CJLez · 2020-09-16T17:42:06+00:00

Hi! I've been moving flat so I've been too drained to saiddit.

CJLez · 2020-09-14T12:46:50+00:00

It could also lead to them being groomed online to run away and be part of their 'real family' who 'loves' them.

CJLez · 2020-09-05T19:05:11+00:00

I haven't found a lesbian one that I could stomach (they all ended up being very 'TWAW and you're horrible if you don't like penis') but for non-lesbian ones:

My Dad Wrote a Porno - my go to podcast recommendation - a Northern Irishman in his 50s attempted to write erotica and gave it to his son to read, who reads a chapter per week with his friends. Pretty much every woman is bisexual so there is a lot of 'sex' but the author clearly does not understand how women's bodies work. They finished book five last year and, though it feels disjointed for the first few books it will all start coming together.

No Such Thing as a Fish - made by some of the people who write QI. Each week they each bring a fact about a topic My current favourite fact from the show - the morning alarm on Mir was the same as the low oxygen alarm to make sure the astronauts got up straight away.

The Secret World of Slimming Clubs - three friends laughing (initially) about attending Slimming World (similar to Weight Watchers.) Very funy women, good backlog of episodes.

The Trail Went Cold - a true crime podcast about missing people, John/Jane Does and unsolved murders. I went off a lot of TC podcasts that I used to listen to because they became all about the hosts egos and it felt insulting to the victims but the host of TTWC does actually seem to care and he approaches each episode in a very respectful way.

CJLez · 2020-09-05T18:42:26+00:00

Freckles are 100% adorable on a woman. I'm also a sucker for a nice shoulder.

CJLez · 2020-09-05T18:33:56+00:00

For me it is Indian/Pakistani/Bangladeshi cuisines, or at least the versions of them that they sell in British curry houses. If I could have anything at all right now I'd fancy...

Starter - chicken pakoras, chicken tikka and onion bhajis

Main - chicken dhansak (with a chicken pathia or chicken vindaloo as runner up - maybe a bit of each)

Side - plain boiled basmati rice, Bombay aloo, mushroom and pea bhaji, garlic and coriander naan

CJLez · 2020-09-05T18:21:07+00:00

Getting outside and walking helps a lot. I put on a funny podcast or a good album and just wander about aimlessly for an hour or so, remembering that, as huge and overwhelming as the issues inside my head feel, there is a whole world out there that I can, at least sort of, escape to for a while

The most important thing for me is eating healthy - lots and lots of veg, enough protein, some nice herbs and spices to keep things interesting. I adore cooking but I find that if my depression flares up then my energy is one of the first things to go. I won't feel well enough to cook and end up living on maltesers and doritos which don't give me enough nutrients or energy so I feel even less well and even less likely to cook. On the other hand, if I can manage to force myself to cook and eat properly then I stop feeling so physically drained and can keep that good cycle going and get enough energy to do other things.

CJLez · 2020-09-05T18:08:54+00:00

People who live for gossip. Do I find hearing that person ABC did thing XYZ interesting? Occasionally, sure. I can't stand people who treat other's lives like real-life soap operas though, it just feels quite boring to live through other people.

Plus, if they're willing to gossip to me then they'd be willing to gossip about me and I wouldn't feel comfortable opening up to them about my past or my family if I thought it would get spread around to all and sundry.

CJLez · 2020-09-04T21:42:20+00:00

I've never understood what people mean by 'feel like a woman' or 'feel like a man' or 'feel like neither/both.' It's impossible to experience how anyone else feels in their body so therefore I can't measure my womanliness against how their womanliness to decide if I feel like more or less of a woman. I just feel like me. I'm biologically female and I'm fine with that fact. I use she/her because I'm female but as long as people aren't trying to offend me (by being homophobic or mocking my looks) things like pronouns and gender aren't important to me.

Personally I'm a gender abolitionist. Not in a tumblr non-binary sense of 'make everything and everyone androgynous' but in the sense of that everyone has some sterotypically masculine traits/hobbies/interests and some sterotypically feminine traits/hobbies/interests and the world would be a lot better off if we ignored gender, focused on biological sex in regards to sexuality and same-sex spaces, and just let people be whoever they are.

A lot of people really love gender though, so I doubt it'll ever die off. It looked promising for a moment c. 2005-2010 though.

CJLez · 2020-08-31T06:36:26+00:00

I remember back in the 90s when there was a big push to stop slut-shaming. That was a good thing because people shouldn't be made to feel like garbage because they want to explore, experiment and enjoy themselves sexually.

Somehow rather than go 95 degrees and land on "you should do what you feel comfortable with, don't let anyone pressure you, keep yourself physically safe and go have all the fun you want" society seems to have gone 180 and landed on "if you have any boundries at all you're a pathetic frigid prude, don't you want to be like the cool girls? Your boundries are harming other people because you're insinuating they're bad for not having them."

Somewhere there was a middle ground but it doesn't seem to exist anymore. I'm pleased I'm not a teenager nowadays.

CJLez · 2020-08-29T07:24:21+00:00

The average height for women in the UK is 5'3" and in the US it's 5'4" - I think a lot of it depends on what ethnicities/nationalities live in your area - I'm 5'0" and in the East of England (where a lot of people are descended from Vikings and there hasn't been much immigration since the middle ages - to the point where people from just one county over are considered 'exotic' and 'weird freaks' by most older people) I'm incredibly short compared to the average person. But when I lived in London I was only a little bit short.

I tend to just jump up and make futile grabbing gestures until someone asks if I'd like them to reach something

CJLez · 2020-08-28T17:20:48+00:00

I'd date someone regardless of their height if I liked them, but in an ideal situation they'd be somewhat close to mine as it just seems more practical. I'm 5'0" so I guess ideally they'd be between 4'9" - 5'3"

CJLez · 2020-08-28T17:14:36+00:00

If I knew the person in real life I wouldn't consider it strange. Saidit is the only 'social media' I use nowadays. I have an old linkedin and facebook account but neither have been updated in years so might as well not be there. I just find that I'm happier when I don't use them.

If it's someone you only know online I'd be more wary incase it's a catfish.

CJLez · 2020-08-26T18:44:23+00:00

Very thick and a very dark brown that goes copper in direct sunshine but now mostly grey at the front. I started going grey at 21 and now I'm 33 it's very grey - I really like owning the natural look but when I want to start dating I might have to dye it as it might be a turn-off for other women my age.

It is currently short but it's escaping and going curly again. I want to find an ideal level between long enough that it goes upwards/outwards and stays nice and curly but short enough that it doesn't go downwards and get frizzy. I'm experimenting to try and find that length.

CJLez · 2020-08-25T19:43:33+00:00

He then followed up with a reply saying...

As always Twitter word count is my demise. The list goes on: sex workers, indigenous folk, intersex folk, people who have experienced homelessness, religious and cultural minorities, people living with disabilities, and many more.

...because white cis gay men have never been sex workers, homeless, religious or cultural minorities or had disabilities.

CJLez · 2020-08-24T17:40:50+00:00

The most heartbreaking version of this was when the three gay men were murdered in Reading and Stonewall had the fucking gall to call them 'LGBT.'

CJLez · 2020-08-24T17:11:38+00:00

You know those accounts who go into threads and just spam k-pop videos to stiffle debate with 'never mind that, here's a video of ABC from XYZ'? I've noticed a trend recently where they've started doing it against the 'bi lesbians.' I don't know if it's different groups adopting the same tactics or if more people are starting to get annoyed.

CJLez · 2020-08-24T17:01:08+00:00

I know a teenage gay guy (actually homosexual, not just 'queer') who collects physical 'pride flags' and thinks that they are all so wonderful - the state of some of these flags... if you hadn't said this was fake I would have believed it was real.

CJLez · 2020-08-24T16:57:26+00:00

I wonder if they'll move on from the 'black transwoman' narrative now that people have debunked it so often. Maybe next it'll be that we owe all our rights to demisexuals.

CJLez · 2020-08-24T16:55:24+00:00

Sometimes it feels like they are in their mid-twenties but never grew past the two-year-old stage of stomping their feet and declaring that they ARE a princess/unicorn/knight/cat because THEY SAID SO.

CJLez · 2020-08-24T11:02:25+00:00

That was the one!

However kids like this will never be talked about by the "almost nobody ever detransitions - it is less than 0.1% of 1% of the population- Stop mentioning them - they didn't medically transition so it they were never really trans anyway" crowd who will then turn around literally two seconds later and say "you don't need dysphoria or to physically transition to be trans - if you say you are trans then you are trans and nobody has the right to question it."

CJLez · 2020-08-24T08:10:34+00:00

Trans-isms

I would also add 'you don't have to use/touch/see the dick when you have sex' and 'there is no difference between a neo-vaginia and a natal-vagina' to that list.

CJLez · 2020-08-24T07:24:52+00:00

Some people will have severe gender dysphoria from when they were toddlers but I don't understand how people can say that this isn't contagious in some cases. I was reading on a forum about a teacher who had 8 transmen (around 14 year olds) in her year group at school and how, after a few months of home schooling and being away from that social group... 7 of them had decided that they weren't trans after all.

CJLez · 2020-08-24T06:41:46+00:00

What about gender fluid people? If their gender changes in the middle of a match do they have to get subbed out for another team-mate?

CJLez · 2020-08-24T06:28:11+00:00

The excuse I always hear when these statistics are shown is that transwomen are attacked more than gay men but are too scared to go to the police so the statistics are wrong... because gay men sure do love going to the police to report hate crimes.

CJLez · 2020-08-23T22:24:22+00:00

Part of me wondered if maybe they were trans - simply for the 'gained two wardrobes' remark but the name was deleted so I couldn't check.

CJLez · 2020-08-23T20:50:47+00:00

politics makes for strange bedfellows

If you'd have told me two years ago I'd be frequently agreeing with the Telegraph and Spectator I'd have laughed you out of the room... and then gone back to binge-reading The Guardian.

CJLez · 2020-08-23T20:40:22+00:00

I'm honestly happy that these two are happy together but... ma'am, you are still straight.

CJLez · 2020-08-23T18:45:10+00:00

If we're talking about physical safety then worldwide I'd say gay men are more oppressed purely due to the fact that there is still the death penalty for male homosexuality in many countries where female homosexuality is usually punished with 'only' prison time.

If we're comparing people in the 'Western' world then I think that every letter has it's ups and it's downs in a broad sense. I prefer to judge people on an individual basis though - things such as race, religion, mental/physical health, access to resources and, esspecially, money, plays such a huge part in whether person A is more oppressed than person B (for instance, a lesbian from the upper east side probably has an easier and 'less oppressed' life than an impoverished gay, or even straight, man in a trailer park does) so I don't see the point in trying to make broad generalisations and arguing about who has it hardest, hard, easier and easiest.

CJLez · 2020-08-23T18:09:15+00:00

From a practical perspective I'd avoid any very saucy or messy food that I could accidentally end up with round my mouth.

CJLez · 2020-08-23T16:56:02+00:00

By their logic the sexualities of both partners changes and neither were aware of their true feelings beforehand. So, in the same way that a transwoman 'changes' from straight man to 'lesbian woman' their wife goes from straight woman to 'lesbian woman.' I think that this is why they talk about fluidity and genital preferences so much because, from their point of view, they have changed their sexualities so it should be easy for us to do the same.

You see it a lot on the r/mypartneristrans subreddit with lesbians being upset that they have to call themselves straight women (in order to not upset their partners) and straight women being upset that they have to call themselves lesbians (in order to not upset their partners) and, rarely, gay men upset that they have to call themselves straight men (in order to not upset their partners.) The feelings and upset of the non-transitioner are almost never taken into consideration in those threads.

CJLez · 2020-08-18T09:00:00+00:00

It is like when they go into a sub that is not related to sex or gender or anything relevant at all (some small hobby or fandom sub) and make a thread saying "I'm trans, can I post here?"

CJLez · 2020-08-17T19:38:43+00:00

Don’t worry, I’m not trying to police your sexuality at all, I’m asking y’all to stop policing trans people’s sexuality.

By defining homosexual male as being inclusive of female organs then yes, you are policing their sexuality.

CJLez · 2020-08-17T19:35:08+00:00

It is intersectionality taken to it's extreme conclusion. According to twitter...

Cis gay men are the straight white men of the LGBTQIA+ community.

and also something I've been hearing recently

Straight black men are the straight white men of the black community.

CJLez · 2020-08-17T19:31:47+00:00

If gay men start taking this seriously the TRAs are going to be running the other way.

There is a reason you don't often see transmen petitioning to be allowed access to men's prisons.

CJLez · 2020-08-17T19:26:58+00:00

Eventually every sub will be problematic to the point where the only subreddit left is AHS.

CJLez · 2020-08-17T19:19:35+00:00

In the comments the OP describes themselves as a...

bi-leaning lesbian.

CJLez · 2020-08-17T19:16:53+00:00

When the episode was first mentioned I assumed they were going to leave out his death alltogether in order to make the show family friendly but the 'good things and bad things' speech in the second clip is such a lovely and gentle way to introduce children to mental health issues without talking down to them about it.

I love that song. I've consdered buying a book of his letters but I don't know if it would be too sad to read.

CJLez · 2020-08-17T19:12:17+00:00

"If you were to say a trans man is not a real man or trans woman is not a real woman, you would not be prosecuted under the bill that I am intending to bring forward, so long as you didn’t do it in a threatening or abusive way that is intended or likely stir up hatred."

'Likely to stir up hatred' is subjective and a low line to 'prove' so they have a strong get out of jail free (or, rather, go to jail) clause there.

On the plus side at least the police federation of Scotland are against this bill. Here in England a woman just tried to join the police force but was rejected because they considered it hateful that she said on social media that it is impossible to change biological sex. When she said she knew a couple of police officers who also had this view the recruiter said she should hand over their names so that they could be 'investigated.' It's getting more like 1984 every damn day.

CJLez · 2020-08-17T18:52:38+00:00

Most people would think me pretty basic to pick him as a favourite artist but, as someone who has struggled with life-long severe mental health issues, I've always loved Van Gogh's work - partly for the art and partly for the artist.

I went to the Van Gogh museum in January 2010. It was a late night opening with a pianist in the foyer that you could hear as you walked throughout the whole museum. It was breathtaking. I'd love to go back sometime.

Plus, Vincent by Don Mclean is an amazing song.

Plus, he inspired my two 1 2 favourite TV moments of all time.

CJLez · 2020-08-17T18:24:33+00:00

I've never been on a date either and in October I'll be 34 so don't worry, it isn't just you :) This was going to be my year but Covid apparently had other plans.

Part of me wonders if a 'late bloomer' sub-saidit would be a good idea, there seems to be quite a few of us.

CJLez · 2020-08-17T09:14:01+00:00

The worst one I've seen is many, many people claiming that Alan Turing was trans because he had 'chose to have HRT'. Never mind the fact that it was forced chemical castration that utterly destroyed him both physically and mentally.

It was honestly heartbreaking the first time I saw them claim it but they keep citing each other and eventually it'll end up in a Newspaper and then considered factual and we'll be bigots for saying he should have never been tortured like that.

CJLez · 2020-08-17T09:04:23+00:00

They trans those who are dead and try to rewrite history.

A woman adopting a pen-name or dressing in masculine clothing to get a job that women were forbidden from doing in the 1700-1800s? Nope! Transman. Everyone knows that historical women are feeble minded people who never tried to succeed or gain rights in any way.

A gay drag queen on camera stating how he finds it funny that people don't belive he is a gay man? Nope! Transwomen. Everyone knows flamboyant men don't exist - if she was living in a more accepting society she would have been openly trans.

A butch lesbian drag king, living in New York, who died in 2014, way after being trans became mainstream and all of their friends say that they were a lesbian? Nope! Transman. Everyone knows that drag performers never used opposite sex pronouns to refer to themselves, that is something that only trans people do.

CJLez · 2020-08-17T06:10:26+00:00

I saw somebody on twitter argue that, after transwomen (of course), kinksters were the leading force behind Pride and getting gay rights.

CJLez · 2020-08-16T16:39:32+00:00

It is like that picture that went viral of the very young blonde girl petting the 'puppies'. The 'queers' say "awww, the kid didn't know what it was about so it was just a bit of fun, no harm, no foul" but do you know how many times I've seen that image used by people who want to paint us all as perverts and threats? More times than I can count. It is one of the most frequent go-to images whenever an actual homophobe is about.

If I was there I'd have told her mother that it was an adult thing and to take her child somewhere else and I don't understand how anyone who is actually LGB wouldn't have seen that the incident could be used against the community at large.

CJLez · 2020-08-16T15:10:08+00:00

Do you think that a physical kink area should be 18+ are pride events?

No - 22%

Well... I think we can infer what their kink is.

CJLez · 2020-08-16T14:54:49+00:00

how the fuck was I okay with this before, just how? How was I ignoring how fucked up this is?

Some people peak very quickly and some peak in fits and starts, letting it build until the cognitive dissonance is too much to handle. I'm also one of the second type and it took me a while to work out why it took me so long...

For me it was hearing non-stop from politicians, schools, charities, the NHS, previously LGB focused organisations and the (then) vast majority of newspapers about how transpeople were the most opressed group in the world filled with lies about suicide rates designed to tug at your heartstrings and false hysteria about 'removal of rights' when rights weren't being removed, they were just not getting extra ones and the journalistic burying of any actual incidents of abuse (pre Yaniv and Karen White.)

Then, once I started to peak (thanks Riley, Yaniv and Karen) I started to notice things that I had been blind to - how the TRAs were treating people - doxxing, trying to destroy buildings women were meeting in, getting meetings cancelled, phsyically attacking lesbians at pride marches for carrying signs saying 'homosexual', setting of smoke bombs at Grenfell and saying that it wasn't offensive, getting police forces to categorise misgendering as a crime so they can say that hate crime incidents are up 800%, knowing that most people will assume that means an 800% rise in physical attacks rather than tweets. Initially it was easy to say 'oh, it is just a tiny minority, most people don't act like this or support them' but then realising that it was actually a tiny minority of trans people who disagreed with these tactics.

Then I started to notice that they had somehow sneakily slipped from 'nobody is saying biological sex isn't real, that is a terf dog whistle' to saying that biological sex is a rascist western construct that doesn't exist and that, before Britain had her empire nobody else knew that biological sex existed. I saw that it wasn't the 'inclusive' movement it claimed to be as they declared that, if black women counted as women then trans women counted as women as well, lied about the history of homophobic societies to paint them as progressive and cheered about how wonderful Iran was because it let transwomen transition for free (seriously, heard this several times.)

There is obviously individual acts of actual transphobia and nobody should be attacked or fired or evicted just for being trans but for being such an oppressed group they certainly managed to get, at one point, the entire media, almost every politican, the health service, the police and the law courts completly on their side.

CJLez · 2020-08-16T13:50:36+00:00

This entire thread supposes sexuality is something taught (e.g. algebra) instead of something innate.

This is the TRA argument that pisses me off more than any other. There are still so many countries where people are executed or imprisoned for decades for being gay. If it was at all, even slightly possible, for them to teach themselves how to be straight they probably would have done so.

Never mind the fact that if you believe that sexuality is taught you automatically have to believe that conversion therapy can work.

CJLez · 2020-08-15T21:33:16+00:00

Before that I was living in house and had a dog - caucasian shepherd. He was twice my size. So huge! He was the kindest dog I've ever saw.

I used to have a friend with three Leonbergers - massive but soft and daft as a brush.

CJLez · 2020-08-15T21:28:29+00:00

I have no pets at the moment (rented accomodation) but growing up I had six Border Collies and three cats so I love pets. If I got a dog in the future it would ideally be a couple of Border Collies (they can get lonely) or some other medium sized dog. No offense meant to those who love them but I can't stand tiny yappy dogs - I know a few lesbians with Chihuahuas (is this a sterotype?) and it is so hard to say how lovely their dog is.

At a previous flat there was an abandoned cat and she was the sweetest, most loving cat you've ever seen. We weren't allowed to take her inside but it was winter so we built her a little cardboard box/blanket hut in the front garden and got her some food and she was so happy... until the landlord came round furious about it and made us take it all down.

CJLez · 2020-08-15T20:16:00+00:00

I got really confused for a moment and thought that 61.9% came from Austria.

CJLez · 2020-08-15T20:09:35+00:00

They can, of course, just date other! After all, they frequently say how much better 'front holes' are compared to asses and how wide and wonderful their range of penises are - they should be all over each other!

Oh... I guess they don't really believe that trans men are men.

CJLez · 2020-08-14T20:34:27+00:00

This reminds me of something a guy at my old job said to me when I'd been top of the leaderboard in our league for seven weeks running - "do you actually know anything about football or are you just guessing?"

CJLez · 2020-08-14T20:31:38+00:00

I used to love watching F1 with my dad as a kid in the 90s - esspecially Michael Schumacher. It used to be our Sunday tradition

CJLez · 2020-08-14T15:03:48+00:00

At my core I'm a (based on their policies from what is years ago now) a Labour voter (if an election was called next month I'm not sure who I'd vote for but I can't hold my nose and vote for my specific Labour MP again) but it is really, really grating on me how groups of people are expected to vote as a monolith.

CJLez · 2020-08-14T11:50:27+00:00

I can't speak for women who have been married and then realise that they're lesbians but for me (coming out in my 30s) I knew that I was attracted to women from when I was young but because my family is fairly homophobic and I wanted to be the 'perfect daughter' I buried my feelings towards women as deep down as possible. Online there is so much nonsense about sexuality being fluid and that all women are inherently bisexual so I believed that and thought that maybe I was only 99.998% attracted to women and, if I waited long enough and tried hard enough, I'd eventually find a guy that I wanted to be with. However, whenever a guy asked me out or tried to pick me up I felt very sick to my stomach imagining us dating or kissing or having sex, almost to the point of having a flight response, but just told myself that it was because he wasn't the right guy. Surely, if all women are bisexual, there has to be at least one guy out there that I'll be happy with.

Eventually I realised that there was never going a guy, because I'm 100% attracted to women and 0% attracted to men but letting go of that last little bit of hope of being 'normal' and acceptable was very difficult.

CJLez · 2020-08-14T09:49:00+00:00

Thanks - Normally I'm fine with it nowadays, I've accepted that it's just the way I was born and that there are much worse things I could have instead so it doesn't bother me anywhere near as much as it did in my teens and twenties - but this article had me feeling some kind of way.

CJLez · 2020-08-14T08:27:47+00:00

I follow my local men's football (soccer) team pretty avidly, as well as the England squad. I want to get more into following women's football but the local team doesn't get to play in the men's stadium and where they do play is so far away that it isn't accessible on public transport or by walking so I can't go to matches.

Most people I know who follow women's football either go for Chelsea or Man City. I'm leaning towards Man City.

I'll casually watch cricket if it turns up on TV but I won't go searching for it.

CJLez · 2020-08-14T08:21:51+00:00

Short - a barber type hair length rather than a hairdresser type hair length.

CJLez · 2020-08-14T07:12:44+00:00

I used to lurk on TL - I just didn't want to deal with the hate PMs that people got for posting there so I never commented.

Obviously we're still followed and tracked over here but not to such an extent.

CJLez · 2020-08-14T07:10:12+00:00

I fucking HATE all the posts about "tiddies XD" on Tumblr and the AL-adjavent subs

But I is a smol girl. Such useless lesbian. Is me. I useless.

It got old. Quickly.

CJLez · 2020-08-14T07:05:42+00:00

I'm not surprised anymore but I tend to have two days where my mood plummets to dangerously low levels - one about three days before and one about three days after. It used to really scare me before I realised what it was linked to so now I can just grit my teeth and push through to the next day, knowing that it'll straighten out.

CJLez · 2020-08-14T05:48:37+00:00

Even funnier - I looked at the twitter responses to this and found a screenshot of the author saying that it was written about 'she-who-must-not-be-named' but that she didn't name JK in the article because she didn't want to be sued.

CJLez · 2020-08-13T21:47:29+00:00

At the moment I'm not looking - partly because of Covid and partly because I'm working on improving my own situation - I want to be a person that I would feel comfortable dating before I ask anyone to date me (if that makes sense.)

I think that, when I do get out there, if it happens, it happens and that's fantastic, I hope that I settle down eventually. But if it doesn't happen then I will be sad but there are other ways to pass the time.

CJLez · 2020-08-13T21:17:00+00:00

Ugh, the 'acting like a man' thing bothers me. I remember reading on the butch subreddit ages ago how 'deeply offensive' it is to give a butch woman flowers because men don't want to recieve flowers.

I like flowers. I'm sure many men would like them as a gift as well.

CJLez · 2020-08-13T21:08:40+00:00

Archive link if you don't want to give TG clicks.

as a straight girl

Oh, please share your wisdom on LGBT issues as a straight women.

If trans people live in peace and legal recognition and even have rights, there will be terrible consequences

I've not seen one person here say that trans people shouldn't 'live in peace' but, as the saying goes, your right to swing your fist ends at my face. Keeping prisons and hospital wards sex-segregated (I would whole-heartedly support a third space option for people who don't want to pick their birth sexes space) should be a right.

I assume that we here have long realized, at least to some extent, that dreaded future, and we’re all fine.

I'm fine. The documented women (and children) who have been raped by transwomen in prisons and hospitals and bathrooms might not be feeling very 'fine' though.

trans women do not pose a threat to cis-gender women

Proven false many times. Are most a threat? No. Could attacks be almost eliminated if same-sex spaces were upheld? Yes.

you can’t be a feminist if you’re not for everyone’s human rights, notably other women’s rights.

It's called feminism. Not womanism. A young girl undergoing FGM or child mariage who (hypothetically) identifies as male is always going to be a more feminist issue than anything to do with transwomen is.

the major threat to women, straight or not, cis- or not, always was and still is straight men and patriarchy.

It's called male violence. Not men violence.

It’s no coincidence the American right is obsessed with border walls and with airtight gender definitions

The American left (speaking broadly) is much more obsessed with airtight gender definitions than the right is at the moment. Oh, you like dolls? You're a transwoman. Like sports? Transman.

When there is so much real violence against women, it’s a sad waste of time to focus on imaginary maybe presumably it-could-theoretically-happen violence.

It. Has. Already. Happened. Many. Times.

insisting they use men’s bathrooms endangered them horribly

If a transwoman is too scared to use the male bathroom because of being around biological men then it is equally allowed for women to be scared of a transwomen in the female bathroom because they are biologically male.

black trans women are murdered at a horrific rate, generally by cis-gender men.

How about the black US women murdered at a horrific rate? Oh, would that be because it's so common that it doesn't make international news every time? Would that be because black women (esspecially sex workers and those who are in lower-income environments) aren't seen as pure enough or good enough victims to care about?

There’s also a hullabaloo about young people choosing to be trans who may change their minds. I’m sure they exist. Also, we all know they’re rare, and that people are not trying on genders like they were Halloween costumes, because this is not easy for them.

...Tumblr?

in those early cases parents and medical experts tend to be exceedingly careful about how those decisions are made

By prescribing off-label drugs that cause IQ drops, facial bone damage, prevent them from ever being able to physically mature and by performing hysterectomies on teenagers? Sure. Sounds exceedingly careful to me.

some of us are born with absent or divergent personal parts, or with chromosomal or hormonal anomalies

As someone who struggled with bad hirsutism for two decades - Fuck you and fuck the horse you rode in on. Growing up with opposite secondary sex characteristics is horrible and I'm still self-concious every day and I'm sick of people saying 'some women have facial hair / broad shoulders / very small breasts / are super tall / have very large feet' as an example of why transwomen are women. It just proves that you don't consider us real women or you wouldn't have made the argument. You see us as being practically identical to males. Thanks.

patrolling bathrooms against trans women has led to some nonconforming cis-gender women being harassed and humiliated

If someone is uncomfortable with me being in a bathroom I won't be humiliated, I'll laugh it off and say that I'm a woman. Stop using butches as a prop for your arguments.

This turned out a lot longer than I meant it to but it has been a long time since I saw an article that fucking dreadful.

CJLez · 2020-08-13T19:43:13+00:00

Stumbled across this earlier - there are several interesting articles such as fighting against conversion therapy, an interview with a doctor very proud of his work performing brain surgery to 'cure' gay men, pride marches, a very bizarre penis/cross cartoon (page 4) and poetry to general 70s student pass-times like protesting the Vietnam war and the environment and local drama society productions.

Also, this is a fantastic website for anyone interested in history - you can look through thousands of newspapers and can also transcribe them so that they're found in search engines.

CJLez · 2020-08-13T19:24:57+00:00

While I was doing some archiving I came across a 1973 gay & lesbian edition of an Australian student union paper and the above article was pretty interesting. You can read the rest of the articles here - there are some really great articles and some very 70s poetry.

Most of these reasons about the causes or cures for lesbianism I've heard before but I'd never heard the 'fuck from beneath' cure!

CJLez · 2020-08-13T15:06:07+00:00

The CEO is Susie Green who gave her MTF child estrogen at 13 years old and took them to Thailand for SRS on their 16th birthday and is on camera laughing about how puberty blockers/hormones had made the penis so small and underdeveloped that it was difficult for the surgeons to even be able to invert it. She's also argued that SRS should be performed on children of any age as long as they are 'mentally competent' to consent and that they should not be assessed by a psychiatrist as proof of competency.

She's also spoken about how she thought her child was gay at 18 months old because they were too effeminate compared to other male children and that her husband was angry about the kid playing with dolls instead of boys toys. The kid came out as 'trans' at 4 (in 1997, way before it became mainstream)

Of course, homophobic parents are never the reason that kids transition though.

CJLez · 2020-08-13T05:56:15+00:00

I've just had a look and I wouldn't be able to make head or tail of her handwriting.

CJLez · 2020-08-12T13:05:27+00:00

I'm the same as you. Came out late but was never with men. I had such high hopes when I first found that sub but realised quickly that it wasn't for people like me.

CJLez · 2020-08-12T12:29:17+00:00

Am I a Lesbian or just depressed?

I think this is the key here. She's suffering from Grass is Greener syndrome. As soon as she got into a female relationship she'd realise that it isn't all pillow fights and shopping and upbeat musical numbers and that there are chores and bills and arguments just like any heterosexual relationship.

CJLez · 2020-08-12T06:10:52+00:00

Starmer sits on the fence so much he might as well be married to it. I did have some hopes for him (compared to Nandy and Bailey) but he's being such a let down. He's fairly good at PMQ but that's about it. He's also falling into the trap of saying why the Tories are bad for Britain rather than focusing on why Labour are good for Britain and that's not going to win the votes.

CJLez · 2020-08-11T20:40:50+00:00

I still can't get over what a childish name Anti-Evil Operations is.

CJLez · 2020-08-11T20:21:02+00:00

What I find interesting is when two 'oppressed' groups are at odds and people online have to pick which to support. For some reason when it's homosexuality versus Islam people tend to support Islam.

The whole Jeff Goldblum incident earlier this year where, on Drag Race, he asked a Muslim queen of Iranian heritage who was wearing a hijab on the runway if Islam was anti-women and anti-homosexuality did my head in. Bearing in mind that Iran frequently executes gay men and the Hijab is compulsary unless women want to be jailed. Twitter were furious and full of woke white knights saying that there was nothing even slightly homophobic or sexist about Islam and it was racist to suggest otherwise. Even when gay ex-Muslim people said 'actually, there is is an issue here', they were shouted down as being ignorant.

I don't support people harrassing or attacking random Muslim people but you should be able to criticise Islam the same way that you should be able to criticise Catholicism or Judaism or the Church of England or Scientology or any other religion.

CJLez · 2020-08-11T19:41:25+00:00

I don't mind crying about something as insignificant as a movie but I have a bad habit of burying emotions about real life stuff as deep as possible until they eventually erupt (usually in sadness, I very, very rarely get angry - maybe only once every four months or so.)

CJLez · 2020-08-11T14:48:45+00:00

Trans-specific groups are seen as fine and dandy. It reminds me of Morgane Oger getting the public funding removed from Vancouver Rape Relief because they wouldn't accept transwomen and then turning around and trying to get public funding to create a trans-only shelter.

CJLez · 2020-08-11T12:28:33+00:00

I'd be interested! I'd also be interested in a monthly lesbian themed book (either non-fiction and/or fiction) discussion thread.

CJLez · 2020-08-11T12:13:21+00:00

Mainly board gaming and video gaming. It will sound super geeky but I also really enjoy indexing old archives to make them searchable on family history websites and transcribing old newspapers to make them googleable. You can find really interesting stuff! There are UK and American newspaper archives where you can do the same thing but those have a monthly subscription. The Australian one is free so that's where I hang out.

CJLez · 2020-08-11T11:56:11+00:00

There is only one way to defend your transgender friends, family and others from thissegregation, this discrimination: leave the group and create another ALL INCLUSIVE.

...okay.

CJLez · 2020-08-11T10:40:45+00:00

I'm sick of being told that being a lesbian means I'm a 'feminine presenting person exclusively sexually attracted to feminine presenting people'. I'm butch and I'm mostly attracted to butch women. By their logic I guess this means that I'm actually a gay man on the inside.

I'm sick of being told that, in the UK, life is as bad for trans people now as it was for LGB people in 80s.

I'm sick of our historical lesbian and/or GNC women being erased from history like they tried to do with Anne Lister's Plaque.

Most of all I'm sick of homophobic parents being given a way to 'cure' their childs homosexuality and being applauded by the media and public for doing so.

CJLez · 2020-08-11T09:34:24+00:00

My grandad, a lifelong working-class Cumbrian miner, unionist and Labour voter would be rolling in his grave if he knew what Labour had become.

CJLez · 2020-08-11T09:29:11+00:00

The UK is at the forefront of the GC/TRA divide. You have three main parties here and two smaller parties (and also a bunch of very small ones that won't get MPs elected as they don't have enough voters). This is a brief summery...

The Conservatives (the right-leaning party. Historically for the upper and upper-middle class people. In power since 2009 and for the forseeable future. Their politicans lean more towards the GC side and are more vocal in speaking about it. The Covid respose has gone so badly though that they are spooked at making themselves even more unpopular by clarifying or changing laws.

Labour (Left-leaning party. Historically for the working class but in the last election swathes of working class Labour voters switched to the Tories over Brexit and because they were sick of being taken for granted as Labour voters.) Labour are 100% full TRA on the face of things. They put out a statement saying that any women who hold gender critical views need to be 're-educated' and, if re-education doesn't work, they need to be 'expelled' from the party. The ironic thing is that the vast majority of GC women are former Labour voters but Labour have decided to listen to a very loud twitter mob and assume that it represents the majority of the country. They also do this on other political issues, constantly misunderstanding what their core voters actually want from them and keeping themselves out of power. You'll get some GC labour politicans but the backlash they face is huge.

The Scottish National Party - only applicable in Scotland but a very powerful political force. Lean towards the left. Want another Scottish independance referendum and that is their main purpose of existing. Full TWAW and are pushing through laws that redefine what 'women' means and anti hate crime bills that are so severe JK Rowling's previous tweets would count as breaking the law and could be worth prison time.

The Liberal Democrats - on the left. Got into a coalition government back in 2009 with the Tories and, still, nobody trusts them as far as they can throw them. Some people are starting to forgive them. Also full TWAW - wants to remove any medical requirements for transition and their previous leader (who quit after losing her seat in December) said that she doesn't believe everyone is born male or female. Believes that transwomen should be in women's prisons as they are some of the most vulnerable people in society.

The Greens - on the left. The most TRA. Pledged to allow children to start medically transitioning as young as they wanted to as it was against their human rights to wait until they were adults.

Most people in the UK don't know what is going on. They hear the 'statistics' about trans suicides and assume that 99% of transwomen are effeminate gay men who want full surgery. There are several grass roots movements such as Womens Place UK (who the Labour party deemed a 'hate group'), various ones about sports and schools and, of course, the LGB Alliance. There has also been a change in reporting where openly GC articles are starting to get reported.

TL;DR - There are lots of noisy people on both sides but the majority of the country still have zero idea what is going on.

CJLez · 2020-08-10T11:58:19+00:00

I think we need to be careful with option 2 - a lot of people are tempted to throw bucketloads of statistics and news stories and feminist theories and personal experiences at someone when it'll just end up overwhelming them. A gentle 'I understand how you feel, I felt the same way, we're over here if you want to find someone to talk to' will probably be more effective.

CJLez · 2020-08-10T11:55:17+00:00

Yet nowadays it is unknown, because those girls were attacked withing the very community that is supposed to be defending her rights, from "LGBTQ+", where word "Lesbian" is included.

'The calls are coming from inside the house' springs to mind.

CJLez · 2020-08-10T11:37:15+00:00

Lentil soup. So easy and so many variations.

Put dried red lentils into pan. Add chopped onion and garlic. Add water. Add stock cube (vegetable, chicken or ham). Add choice of herbs and spices (chicken cube with some turmeric, cumin and black pepper is my favourite combintion at the moment). Heat until boiling. Cover and simmer until cooked.

Takes about 5 minutes to prepare and 20 minutes to cook. If it's too hot to eat soup then let it reduce down and then cool it and you have a nice lentil paste you can have with nibbles.

CJLez · 2020-08-10T06:35:39+00:00

I think that this gives us the best insight for what happens when TRAs try and dictate to straight people the way they dictate to us. People are furious over being told to change their language. Then one of the mods went to Traaaa and posted about how awful the people on animemes were and it all kicked off from there.

I've seen tonnes of comments from people saying that it's unfair for the mods to call effeminate gay male characters trans and lots about how they've suddenly noticed that gender ideology is moving back to a 1950s standard. They're peaking in mass right now.

CJLez · 2020-08-09T20:22:05+00:00

May I present, for your reading pleasure... r/animemes .

CJLez · 2020-08-09T20:01:55+00:00

Hey, kid... Lesbians exist.
You are not responsible for fixing people who deliberately refuse to seek help for their own mental illnesses and alcohol abuse. You didn't cause their problems and you can't fix their problems. You are also not a sponge. You can't take all their pain away or it will overwhelm you.
Don't ever move into a student house with D. He'll never clean and will run off without paying his portion of the rent and you'll end up having to fill his room with the only person who turns up for a mid-year advert who will turn out to be an... Irish hipster Nazi fan. Uni is wierd. He was not the wierdest roommate.
Do NOT, under any circumstances, leave your room for two weeks before your final year exams. Otherwise you'll catch flu for the one and only time in your life and tank your exams, missing out on a first class degree by less than 1%. To this day that one still hurts.

CJLez