what is womanhood to you?

submitted by knownasness from (self.Lesbians)

i saw someone tweet that they struggle with their identity because they don't always feel like a woman. they didn't say they felt like a man, just that they didn't feel like a woman. and a good deal of people agreed with them. it got me wondering.. why? i don't mean to offend but.. i don't get it.

i'm a 'butch', 'stud', etc like the aforementioned person.. and i've never felt this way. regardless of how i dress, how i talk, my body's shape, my mannerisms, who i date, preferences, whatever.. regardless of any of that, i exude womanhood simply because i am an actual woman. is that not what womanhood is? being a woman? if you are a woman how could you ever not feel like one? YOU define what it is. no one else. not the media. not society. not your friends, family, whoever. YOU define it.

i feel less and less in tune with this community everyday. i just don't understand any of this.

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[–]Gearbeta 24 insightful - 1 fun24 insightful - 0 fun25 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I don't feel like a woman in the same way I don't feel like I have dark skin or dark brown eyes or brown hair. Its really a nonsense concept IMO I just AM a woman and I am a woman even if I feel feminine or masculine or whatever. Its just what half the population is.

[–][deleted] 20 insightful - 1 fun20 insightful - 0 fun21 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It just reminds me of that scene in the Big Lebowski where The Dude responds "that and a pair of testicles" when Lebowski is opining about what makes a man. People smirk about not reducing womanhood to biology, but it is just about biology for me.

[–]florasis 17 insightful - 3 fun17 insightful - 2 fun18 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

Being an adult human female. It's a state, not a feeling.

[–]LeaveAmsgAfterBeep 18 insightful - 1 fun18 insightful - 0 fun19 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

The genderists created this narrative to be affirming to the transexuals (before the personality shift to TRAs) that someone can “feel” a gender. Much like weight, and attractiveness, and worthiness, and many other characteristics inherent in disordered thinking- it is not possible to feel a gender and more than it is possible to feel existence. Certainly I exist, but do I feel existence? No that would be dumb. I do feel pain etc, but that is describing a sensation. I do feel emotions, but those are feelings. It fucked with my head when I was in my gender phase, “anything but female” and it is fucking with many others now. It’s created a minority within several generations who probably are more likely to have existential and rumination issues as part of mental illness and exploited vulnerabilities and the combo that misogyny/homophobia and fear of the self would do to any captive audience.

[–]Poppy29252 17 insightful - 1 fun17 insightful - 0 fun18 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

They're all convinced stereotypes define them. They don't like frilly pink dresses and ponies? Must not be a woman. They don't believe being a woman is simply the existence of having been born female and growing up into adulthood. They let society dictate their lives. That's why they're miserable and need others to validate them. Society rules their existence to the point they feel like their existence is erased when we don't go along with their feelings.

[–]piylot 16 insightful - 1 fun16 insightful - 0 fun17 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I always think the critical point to remember is that femininity was never designed in women's best interests. Much of femininity is designed because it's the most appealing way for a woman to be in the eyes of a man (eg submissive, homemaker, gentle, agreeable). Completely sexist to run on the assumption that most women should enjoy the roles chosen for them. That same logic would say them women who fought for the vote or a place in the workforce (masculine roles in that society) must not have felt like women.

[–]RedditHatesLesbians 13 insightful - 2 fun13 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

Anything I do is Womanly and Female because I'm female lmao. I've never not felt like a woman because I assume however I feel at any point in time is how a woman feels, since I'm a woman.

[–]Skipdip 5 insightful - 5 fun5 insightful - 4 fun6 insightful - 5 fun -  (0 children)

“Anything I do is womanly” lol! I love this. Did I accidentally shart my pants? That was a womanly shart.

[–]les4les 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

This is a great way to put it haha. Women can have any range of experiences, feelings, beliefs without ever ceasing to be women. There's no wrong way to be female except if you're... male

[–]Skipdip 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

To me, womanhood is just however I am because I am female. Gender is harmful. When I obsess about gender all I feel is lost and confused. To me there is male and female, and some sex differences that are by-in-large a moot point on the individual level. I don’t believe in gender aka stereotypical sex roles. Or I suppose I believe that they exist, but I don’t believe they are actual reality.

To me womanhood is the shared experience of being female, in all the infinite galaxy of variation that exists. And to me, manhood is the same.

[–]VioletRemi 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Not sure how you can define it. You just is. There no need to definition of yourself.

[–]yousaythosethings 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I over-analyze everything but not really this. I just am and I accept it because of my body, the messages I get from society, and how everyone treats me. On top of that there is some commonality of experience at least with different subsets of women.

[–]zephyranthes 6 insightful - 4 fun6 insightful - 3 fun7 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

i saw someone tweet that they struggle with their identity

See, that's the problem right there. No sane person ever asks him- or herself, "what is my identity". A creepy man has once wisely noted that a lot of "deep" questions become absurdly simple when you actually define the words.

"Trans women are women" -> "fake women are women" -> duh, obviously not.

"identity" = clique

"I struggle with my identity" -> "I am troubled because I can't decide what social clique I want to become a member of".

[–]CJLez 7 insightful - 2 fun7 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

I've never understood what people mean by 'feel like a woman' or 'feel like a man' or 'feel like neither/both.' It's impossible to experience how anyone else feels in their body so therefore I can't measure my womanliness against how their womanliness to decide if I feel like more or less of a woman. I just feel like me. I'm biologically female and I'm fine with that fact. I use she/her because I'm female but as long as people aren't trying to offend me (by being homophobic or mocking my looks) things like pronouns and gender aren't important to me.

Personally I'm a gender abolitionist. Not in a tumblr non-binary sense of 'make everything and everyone androgynous' but in the sense of that everyone has some sterotypically masculine traits/hobbies/interests and some sterotypically feminine traits/hobbies/interests and the world would be a lot better off if we ignored gender, focused on biological sex in regards to sexuality and same-sex spaces, and just let people be whoever they are.

A lot of people really love gender though, so I doubt it'll ever die off. It looked promising for a moment c. 2005-2010 though.

[–]SerpensInferna 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I don't 'feel like' a woman because I am a woman. It is a biological reality. My chromosomes are XX, my bone structure, bone density, muscle mass, reproductive organs and countless other things about my physical existence are defined by that. I have a monthly period (and MtF do NOT, no matter how much they cry that they do, it's sheer delusion), I have the natural ability to carry, form, and give birth to another human being within my uterus. My thought patterns, emotions, and emotive tendencies are also dictated by this actuality.

A butch woman is still a WOMAN. Even for how much Buck Angel passes in still pictures, I'll be damned if he doesn't emote like a woman when I see him on video. A trans person is all performative, because the moment they stop trying or acting like what they believe a man or woman to be, they are no longer that thing and return to their actual reality.

[–]watermelonsappho 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I definitely agree w/everyone who says a woman is just an adult human female. I have never "felt" like a woman and don't really think about it that way at all. That being said, I'd say I feel way more comfortable in my female body now after coming to terms with being a lesbian. :)

[–]lmaonope333 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

having a female reproductive system