How Quickly Would You Move In Together?

submitted by CJLez from self.Lesbians

I'm not dating anyone right now but I am having to move out of my flat so, while searching, I was wondering how true the U-Haul sterotype is.

I know one lesbian couple who fit the bill; moved in together in less than a week and who were considering proposing after four months together (this was pre-covid, I haven't spoken to them recently) because "when you know you know."

So, is it common or not? What would you consider a reasonable amount of time before you moved in with somebody.

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[–]florasis 17 insightful - 3 fun17 insightful - 2 fun18 insightful - 3 fun -  (3 children)

I never lived with anybody. But I'm too introverted to think about behaving in such a manner. This is just so crazy to move with someone you don't even know. Also, would be cool to actually live in different apartment and just see each other a few times at week. Mantain space and passion .

[–]oofreesouloo 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Omg, I was going to answer but I saw this response - this would actually be perfection for me lol. I've always liked to have "my" space a lot, and sharing it 24/7 with someone has always made me kind of anxious... It's still something that worries me if I get into a serious relationship. Obviously, on one hand, I'm excited to sleep and share my life with my loved one, but on the other hand, it sounds a little "suffocating" for me at the same time because I really need to have "my" time too 😣

[–]florasis 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Perfectly said, babe :D

[–]hermiona52 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I know it's been 2 days but... I feel you. I think my solution would be having my own lair. Like a cool basement or a room that I can go into where I can be alone for a few hours to recharge my batteries. I also love to go for a walk (or run) with music or some podcast. I am a person who can go a few weeks without seeing anyone without a trouble, so personal alone time is important to me.

[–]VioletRemi 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I need a long time for such descision.

However, two of three women I lived with moved to one room/house with me BEFORE we started dating, hehe.

[–]yousaythosethings 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Looks like you won the roommate lottery. I just got the crazies.

[–]whateverman 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Six months unless she didn't have a job; if she didn't work, I'd wait for a year. If I was fully committed to someone that wasn't working for that long, I'd more or less be fine footing the bill for most things at that point.

[–]yayblueberries 7 insightful - 2 fun7 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

I'm so happy to see this comment, I posted about how I won't date until I have a job because I feel like it's unfair to the other woman and got my ass chewed that I'm making it all about bank accounts.

[–]reluctant_commenter 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah I don't know why people got on your case for that, maybe they just misunderstood.

[–]WildwoodFlower 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I would be more likely to move in with someone if I knew her well before we started dating, not so much if we had just met.

[–]reluctant_commenter 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Would... or should?

My ex-girlfriend kind of ended up moving in with me after, like, a week or two (of dating). It turned out to be an extremely abusive relationship. 0/10 would not recommend. I hope other people have had way better experiences with fast move-ins.

edit: we had known each other a few months before, but still, way too fast for me. I would not do it again.

[–][deleted] 6 insightful - 4 fun6 insightful - 3 fun7 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

I rented an empty apartment for 6 months so I could convince myself I wasn’t pulling a good old fashioned u-haul. Denial is a powerful thing.

[–]riaoccam 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I always need to get to know the person well before moving in. Preferably, go on a trip together or do various activities together, see each other in social and private situations.

[–]Freetochoose 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

We would move in together if it is something we both want to do. We've talked about it and are sure this is what we want.

[–]cervix 4 insightful - 3 fun4 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

2 months.

Listen it's a pandemic so we figured we might as well bunk together and weather it out.