Late Bloomers?

VioletRemi · 2020-08-17T19:06:37+00:00

Do not worry, I was married on a man for 3 years, before my first relationship with a woman. So things could be muuuuuch worse :D

And if you always liked women and had crushes on women, you should not fear about your sexuality as well. I was thinking I am frigid, because I did not liked sex with men, and in general was pretty closed on myself and not even masturbating at all (I hated my body). However, sleeping in one bed with woman I liked (just sleeping, nothing sexual) was enough to wake up my feelings and for me to realize that I am not frigid - I just love women and only women.

yousaythosethings · 2020-08-17T14:53:46+00:00

Present. I’m not sure where you’re based but even in countries like the U.S. it’s not that crazy or unusual for someone your age to just be getting started. Much younger lesbians are more likely to be skeptical but they grew up in a very different time.

hermiona52 · 2020-08-17T15:59:26+00:00

I wouldn't call myself late-bloomer since I realized I am lesbian when I was 17... yet 9 years later I still didn't have girlfriend (I had only one kiss my whole life). I'm living in a homophobic country (Poland), growing up in homophobic (and religious) family. I knew one day I would leave my city and move to a bigger one, more open and tolerant one. So my life is in kind of a suspension. I would never want to commit to a relationship knowing I will definitely move out of this city and possibly even this country. It would be unfair to both my girlfriend and me, to one day just say to her "Hey, I am moving out next month. Either you go with me or we break-up".

I had several crushes on women definitely out of my ligue (or co-workers so it's a no go zone), and those who had crushes on me weren't really my type. So I am working on myself, successfully loosing weight (should reach 56 kg by the end of this year), putting away money for better clothes, tattoo and other stuff.

If everything goes well I'll move out of my city this year (to Wroclaw in Poland, awesome place) and will open my heart to possible relationship. And if I will go my whole life alone? Well, I like living alone. I can imagine far worse future than this.

CJLez · 2020-08-17T18:24:33+00:00

I've never been on a date either and in October I'll be 34 so don't worry, it isn't just you :) This was going to be my year but Covid apparently had other plans.

Part of me wonders if a 'late bloomer' sub-saidit would be a good idea, there seems to be quite a few of us.

yayblueberries · 2020-08-17T16:09:45+00:00

I had not dated a woman since high school, where I was brutally bullied for it, and grew up in a homophobic family, so wasted my 20s just barely dating men hoping to avoid getting anymore abuse from society. It wasn't until the past few years, my mid-30s, that I've decided everybody is sick and society is sick and horrible and they can all be as offended as they want just because I like women instead of subscribing to mainstream's ass-backwards wish for women to still be submissive to and live with men. I figured out I'm going to be treated like crap by other people regardless, because humans suck, so I might as well finally be me.

EDIT: I also figured out the vast majority of my problems are caused by MEN so becoming a feminist has also been a relief.

florasis · 2020-08-17T13:35:05+00:00

I'm not a late bloomer, but don't think too much about it. It will give you anxiety if you keep thinking is your first time. Use the information you see online, and try to assimilate it, like it it were your personal experience, so that they won't notice you got no past experience, it will avoid unnecessary anxiety.

lovvlie · 2020-08-17T18:20:09+00:00

i'm nearly 30 too. i also thought this would be my year! it was not. <3 :)

spermaide · 2020-08-17T23:23:21+00:00

It’s good to know I could relate to some people here.

CunningAndKnave · 2020-08-18T02:24:21+00:00

I'm not exactly a late bloomer, but I only recently started lesbianing. It had more to do with trauma and mental health why I started at 27.

uroborosjohnson · 2020-08-18T04:01:33+00:00

There's a lot of women in this position I think. I wish lesbian bars were still a thing, I think one trip to one in my early 20s would have forced me to reconcile with my feelings for women a lot earlier than I did.

hufflepuff-poet · 2020-08-18T03:07:14+00:00

I didn't really accept I was a lesbian until my mid 20s and came out completely/started dating at 26, is that considered late bloomer?

What's the age range for being considered a late bloomer? Lesbians come out later on average anyways than gay guys, I think around 19-20?

InattentiveGiraffe · 2020-08-19T01:57:10+00:00

32 and never had a single date in my entire life :) Had to focus on studying in my teen years and 20s, and never had the time to figure things out. I guess the environment also matters; my community is very orthodox, so lesbian women here are very secretive about their sexuality. Anyway, I'm also hoping to start dating soon)

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