Gay men need penises. Why it's like that? by Lovebirds_fury in LGBDropTheT

[–]markiemarcus 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I agree. I suspect that it's a combination of outright ignorance, but also seeing gayness as inherently problematic in its it has to be "called out", you know 🙄

She’s a gay man trapped in a straight woman’s body 🙄🤡 by Chunkeeguy in LGBDropTheT

[–]markiemarcus 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

"My husband is liberal-minded. However, I am not sure this is a situation that he could live with."

Would liberal-mindedness somehow make him more accepting of the fact that you're intentionally planning on starting testosterone, growing a beard and having a shit-ton of cosmetic surgery, nuking your sex life together and becoming somebody who doesn't even resemble the woman he married? Never mind could he live with it, should he?

"I am a gay man in a straight woman’s body."

You have no idea what it feels like to be homosexual or male, so you can't possibly know this.

"I really do not know what to do."

I do. Therapy. Lots and lots of therapy for your body dysmorphia and your gay porn addiction before you ruin your life.

Just confirming that gay and lesbian people do in fact owe sex to trans identified individuals by Chunkeeguy in LGBDropTheT

[–]markiemarcus 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

But...even if one were blind they'd still know within about 20 seconds of conversation. We always know. Anybody with ANY dating experience will always know. It's not just genitals, it's absolutely fucking everything. These folks are getting on like everything goes just fine UNTIL the trunks come off. I don't buy it at all.

Hella hungry for dick and some rape by deception by Chunkeeguy in LGBDropTheT

[–]markiemarcus 3 insightful - 3 fun3 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

Why am I reminded of this?!

It's Raining Them (Halle-fucking-lujah) by Chunkeeguy in LGBDropTheT

[–]markiemarcus 6 insightful - 2 fun6 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

This is like nails on a chalkboard to me. From the musical illiteracy of the arrangement and harmonies that come from simply not understanding music theory (2:03 and 2:54 being the most obviously egregious), to being a full semitone flat at 3:44 despite the abundance of autotune, to the artless production, to the shocking timbre of the vocal itself...

Were it my call as a professional, this one would be going straight into the bin.

I feel depressed when women talk about guys (I'm a lesbian) by oofreesouloo in LGBDropTheT

[–]markiemarcus 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

"Looking back at it, I think maybe I was also mourning the loss of ever having a "normal" life comparatively."

Though I'm gay I can definitely relate to the inverse of this, certainly in my late teens / mid twenties and no doubt exacerbated by the loss of my partner at the time. Mid 30s now though and it's a very different story.

As for the OP and overcoming it? Time and embracing the fact that you are different; I don't know if any girl friend could really help you "get there". It's difficult to articulate, but my relationships with the women in my life are more akin to close family. I've not only accepted that, I love it and wouldn't change it.

Perhaps this is different for lesbians though?

When only a queer haircut can save your relationship from being exposed as boring old heterosexuality by Chunkeeguy in LGBDropTheT

[–]markiemarcus 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

HAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!!! This is gloriously bad.

Oh look, here's Owen Jones, a monumental piece of misogynistic shit by Chunkeeguy in LGBDropTheT

[–]markiemarcus 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Oh absolutely. I honestly don't know where I fall on the morality of surrogacy; seems entirely dependent on context. Altruistically I don't really see the objection.

"Get yourself a lesbian or two" and "hunting for broody lesbian couples" is fucked though.

Oh look, here's Owen Jones, a monumental piece of misogynistic shit by Chunkeeguy in LGBDropTheT

[–]markiemarcus 10 insightful - 2 fun10 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

It really, really does!

Oh look, here's Owen Jones, a monumental piece of misogynistic shit by Chunkeeguy in LGBDropTheT

[–]markiemarcus 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I have mixed feelings about it. On the one hand the idea of "womb for rent" is fucked and potentially exploitative, but the liberal in me doesn't like telling adults what to do with their bodies. Not crazy about late term abortion either unless there are very sound medical reasons why, but fundamentally I do support abortion rights.

Oh look, here's Owen Jones, a monumental piece of misogynistic shit by Chunkeeguy in LGBDropTheT

[–]markiemarcus 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

His biggest defender now seems to be justifying the financial incentive angle, which seems about right for a champagne socialist.

I'm pretty left wing, but Owen Jones is a fucking snake. He embodies everything I don't like about the modern left.

Soon... by milknciggies in LGBDropTheT

[–]markiemarcus 5 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)


17 year old girls these days by Chunkeeguy in LGBDropTheT

[–]markiemarcus 9 insightful - 2 fun9 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Yet another little moron who uses "literally" instead of "figuratively".

TRA’s celebrate Trans Visibility day by calling actress Sarah Paulson a transphobe for refusing to state her pronouns in her Twitter bio. by Lessom in LGBDropTheT

[–]markiemarcus 12 insightful - 3 fun12 insightful - 2 fun13 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

I swear, these dumbfucks are feral. Zero socialisation outside of Twitter.

Question to gay men: het/comp het in your media? by NerveActive in LGBDropTheT

[–]markiemarcus 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I don't watch "gay themed" often enough these days to comment on this because they're so often shit that I end up turning them off. There are a few reasons for this, but principally what ends up happening is that a certain degree of pressure to "represent" undermines the creative process. Far more often than not, nothing about the end result rings true to me.

I'm also not convinced that they're for "us" at all.

nothing to see her, folks! totally normal people! - from /r/TumblrInAction by Beryl in LGBDropTheT

[–]markiemarcus 24 insightful - 2 fun24 insightful - 1 fun25 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

CHRIST ON A BIKE! This is repugnant.

A twitter rant for the ages by ThrowMeAway2879 in LGBDropTheT

[–]markiemarcus 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Spotted this one earlier. It's fab.

Mr. Gay England contest reporting people to the police for "trans hate" for pushing back on the idea that a female contest finalist is actually a gay man by BEB in LGBDropTheT

[–]markiemarcus 28 insightful - 5 fun28 insightful - 4 fun29 insightful - 5 fun -  (0 children)

The BACKLASH in the comments. It's encouraging. We're a feisty bunch! Who knew?!

Is having racial preferences racist? by ukrdude10 in LGBDropTheT

[–]markiemarcus 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

"I heard gay dudes are particulary open about not liking blacks and asians."

This isn't my experience at all. To the contrary, actually.

Is having racial preferences racist? by ukrdude10 in LGBDropTheT

[–]markiemarcus 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Hypothetically, if I saw somebody with no "insert race here" in their profile, I wouldn't date them. I also think it's a mistake on your part and that you're potentially missing out. There are features on people in general that I don't like and I think we're all perfectly entitled to those, but I've also encountered enough people (purely socially, not intimately; I travel a lot) to know that "insert race here" "tends to have X/Y features" is too broad to be useful or fair.

So while we're all perfectly entitled to preferences based on physical attributes (I'm really not into twinks), you're ruling out people of your sexuality whose physical attributes you haven't actually seen, based on "tends to have". It doesn't make any sense to me. You're perfectly entitled to do that and while it isn't necessarily racist (though it can be), it absolutely is a personality trait that I don't like.

I would also echo the other comments; trans exclusion and race exclusion are not even remotely comparable. As a descriptor it comes with physical realities that hold true 100% of the time and that's not even getting into the emotional/romantic side.

Brauer College admits asking schoolboys to "apologise for their gender" was wrong by Happy_Blueberry3910 in LGBDropTheT

[–]markiemarcus 12 insightful - 2 fun12 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

"In retrospect, while well-intended, we recognise that this part of the assembly was inappropriate."

Has the concept of Original Sin EVER been well-intended?

I don't think you can become the opposite sex no matter how many surgeries you do by [deleted] in LGBDropTheT

[–]markiemarcus 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Jesus! I think that may be one of the most profoundly immoral Tweets I've ever heard. A diseased mind and a black heart.

"DAE think guys might mistake me for a woman during sex just because I have breasts?" by ThrowMeAway2879 in LGBDropTheT

[–]markiemarcus 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I must say, that sub Reddit is new to me and I really wish I hadn't scrolled. There's a handful of posts that get dangerously close to a real self-diagnosis, based on acknowledging their own behavioural patterns or those noted by their therapists...

...and it's immediately shut down in the replies as toxic terfery. It's really fucking sad. Egging each other on, so to speak. Dear dear.

Milo takes on Blaire White? by our_team_is_winning in LGBDropTheT

[–]markiemarcus 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Oh it's crazy isn't it? Especially with regards to the medical side. I can't think of any other circumstances where it would be deemed "progressive" to be so extremely reckless and spit on informed consent. They've been handing out puberty blockers like candy under the guise of them being a totally safe and reversible "pause button". That's just a lie; we know exactly what Lupron does.

Milo takes on Blaire White? by our_team_is_winning in LGBDropTheT

[–]markiemarcus 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Oh I totally agree on the evidence (or lack thereof) with regards to quality of life post transition. That's troubling. On aggregate it seems to be a wash. There are a few ways of reading that; that it doesn't really help anybody, or that it really helps as many as it really harms. All the more reason for insisting upon informed consent...which makes one a heretic these days.

Milo takes on Blaire White? by our_team_is_winning in LGBDropTheT

[–]markiemarcus 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

That's not clear at all IMO. It avoids the elephant in the room; suffering from dysphoria, a very real phenomenon. I've never heard Blaire say that one can change their sex either.

My concerns are primarily around self ID, informed consent and, like you, over diagnosis from external pressure (read conversion therapy). Though I think trans identified gay & lesbian is something else entirely and best viewed with skepticism; these people are demonstrably heterosexual.

Assuming informed consent can be given and a persistent, robust diagnosis of dysphoria exists, the path forward is really not my concern and I wish them good luck.

It's just not a decision a kid can make, at all, especially when the dysphoria so frequently subsides following puberty. The numbers are crazy high; typically north of 50% in every study I've read.

Democrat Introduces Bill To Protect LGB Youth from Medical Assault by BEB in LGBDropTheT

[–]markiemarcus 35 insightful - 3 fun35 insightful - 2 fun36 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

Hey look! A backbone!

Fundamentally this is an issue of informed consent. There's no way this is possible with people so young; the ramifications are serious and often irreversible.

Milo takes on Blaire White? by our_team_is_winning in LGBDropTheT

[–]markiemarcus 33 insightful - 5 fun33 insightful - 4 fun34 insightful - 5 fun -  (0 children)

I didn't cackle at all. I have no qualms with the Blaire Whites of the world. Never have, never will. Her (and yes I have no difficulty with her in this context) approach to transition has been responsible and well-considered. To be on the side of M.Y., purely because of an anti-trans stance, when the whole shebang is a stunt to promote actual conversion therapy of gay men and lesbian women, is misguided at best and fucking psychotic at worst. At that point you've become the bastard IMO.

She's pissed off about something by Chunkeeguy in LGBDropTheT

[–]markiemarcus 4 insightful - 3 fun4 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

Yup, sounds about right. Paranoid, aggressive and manipulative.

The word "partner" by HelloMomo in LGBDropTheT

[–]markiemarcus 16 insightful - 3 fun16 insightful - 2 fun17 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

I'm mid 30s, gay and prefer the word partner. I think there's definitely a desire in some people to pretend like a homosexual marriage is exactly the same as its heterosexual counterpart, but it just isn't IMO. Not in a lesser way, just different. Partner, to me, is the definition of a loving, committed, long-term relationship and there isn't any ambiguity to it outside of paperwork.

"Straight people or queer people use the word "partner" to seem gay and disguise the fact that their lover is—in fact—of the opposite sex."

I've noticed this too. "Allies" looking for woke points IMO.

What is the deal with Queer Theory separating Romantic and Sexual Attraction? by [deleted] in LGBDropTheT

[–]markiemarcus 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Oh no judgement there at all; I don't think casual hookups are healthy either. Certainly not with total strangers. To each their own I suppose!

I wouldn't count yourself out. This stuff does need built and nurtured IMO though. My early to mid 20s were a total write off for various reasons, but it did come around again. Took some work though, not even the romantic connections, the friendship connections.

I'd start with hobbies, embrace the things that you really love, and see where that takes you. Maybe even some voluntary work; that actually really helped me be more open and connect with people again. I had a huge shock in the my late teens/early 20s and, following a 12-18 month bout of mania and grief (less charitably, a full-blown episode), I just completely shut down. It wasn't even depression; I felt absolutely nothing. Going through the motions with regards to everything.

Mid 30s now and the situation is rather different; it's been a gradual process.

What is the deal with Queer Theory separating Romantic and Sexual Attraction? by [deleted] in LGBDropTheT

[–]markiemarcus 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It may not be that way for you (and I'm sure that the same is true for many), but the romantic component is huge for me. This actually came up in a discussion recently and I was shocked to discover that it isn't this way for everybody; I had always assumed that it was. I just...I can't imagine one without the other. It's so alien to me. The "one true love" stuff is nonsense though.

Presumably you have strong connections with other people in your life? Be that close friendships or family.

What is the deal with Queer Theory separating Romantic and Sexual Attraction? by [deleted] in LGBDropTheT

[–]markiemarcus 19 insightful - 1 fun19 insightful - 0 fun20 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Because for all the talk of "love is love", the concept of same-sex romantic attraction between Kinsey 6s is a brick through the window of GI theory and ideologues would rather it didn't exist.

That's my take anyway.

Stonewall UK gets more and more... interesting by Chunkeeguy in LGBDropTheT

[–]markiemarcus 12 insightful - 5 fun12 insightful - 4 fun13 insightful - 5 fun -  (0 children)

Grifters gonna grift.

"Sexuality is fluid" - the root of all evil by ThrowMeAway2879 in LGBDropTheT

[–]markiemarcus 18 insightful - 1 fun18 insightful - 0 fun19 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Oh that's outrageous! I mean jeeeez, I wouldn't even participate in a threesome because I'm a total prude and oddly old-fashioned, but the thought of MMF is insane to me.

"Sexuality is fluid" - the root of all evil by ThrowMeAway2879 in LGBDropTheT

[–]markiemarcus 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

100% yes

"Sexuality is fluid" - the root of all evil by ThrowMeAway2879 in LGBDropTheT

[–]markiemarcus 13 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 0 fun14 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Totally agree with your assessment and some of the root causes of the current mess. "Sexuality is fluid" being one of the most nonsensical and outrageous claims. It's the total lack of self-awareness that shocks me; such an argument is the 'intellectual' backbone of gay conversion therapy. I've been bitching about it for quite some time now, how it will eventually be weaponised against us by the religious right too. It was; see the Ann Widdecombe's of the world.

Mind-numbing stuff.

Anyone else enjoy being told you perpetuate white cishet standards while looking to date? No one? Me either. by killerjen231 in LGBDropTheT

[–]markiemarcus 12 insightful - 4 fun12 insightful - 3 fun13 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

It reads like the response of an AI, with programmed bias for caricature and narcissism.

they went after William Shatner. Snowflakes melting. Tweets fired! Go. Shatner. Go. by fijupanda in LGBDropTheT

[–]markiemarcus 22 insightful - 4 fun22 insightful - 3 fun23 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

William Shatner is 89 years old. I mean shit-fuck, even if TRAs had a point with giving a name for the default state of 99%+ of the population (they don't), he was born in the 1930s!

I swear, these clowns are both feral and dumb as rocks.

Tiktok Lesbian Cancelled for saying its not transphobic to not like dick by Gearbeta in LGBDropTheT

[–]markiemarcus 24 insightful - 2 fun24 insightful - 1 fun25 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

I would really hate to be young in 2020. It's different when you're a bit older; it's like water off a duck's back these days, where "go fuck yourself" is both a reflex and entirely appropriate.

There's a special place in hell for the incel bastards doing this.

An explanation on the rise of TRAs, at least in my theory. by Ossidiana in LGBDropTheT

[–]markiemarcus 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Straight Male Identity Crisis. Maybe, but I don't really buy this with regards to trans radicals. If anything it lead to pushback against Intersectional Feminism. Camille Paglia has some interesting thoughts on the matter. I'm a moderate leftie, but I.F. is actually where I first noticed this weird cognitive dissonance on the left; demonstrably false claims, a "blank slate" approach to gender and oppression Olympics madness that resulted in this outright refusal to address the rampant homophobia within Islam, even in the west.

I attribute the current mess to the rise of Intersectionality and far left, hyperpartisan politics. You can actually track this political swing in the US:

The right have shifted too, but not as much and we're seeing huge declines in moderates. Though it's interesting that you've mentioned WW2. There's no shortage of thinly-veiled Jew bashing amongst the far left these days.

Ideas kill people. We're all pansexual. Attraction to random people on the street is the proof in your sexual pudding. You don't know their gender. They could be nonbinary demifemmebutchelf. Think, you phobic phobes. THINK! by fijupanda in LGBDropTheT

[–]markiemarcus 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Jesus. That sounds like hell and actually really sad in the case of the woman you know. Does she not have many people in her life?

How did you discover you were homo/bisexual? by indeepshadows in LGBDropTheT

[–]markiemarcus 7 insightful - 2 fun7 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

I was probably about 10 and watched a transcendently awful action movie called "Double Impact" with Van Damme, who spends most of the movie in spandex or short shorts and on some level thought, "Yup!".

Edit: Ah, tell a lie, it was before that. I was obsessed with Michael Biehn; he was a fox back in the day. So probably about 7 or 8.

The actual realisation came a little later; my window of knowingly being in the closet was relatively short from about 15 to 17. That was a weird time, I had a lot on my plate so I consciously put it on the back burner. I then developed a romantic attraction to a guy I met at a party, purely over a discussion about movies and music. To this day I have no idea if he was actually gay. That continued for about a year, but alas, he moved country and that was that. My first proper boyfriend after that was really amazing and I was out by that point (18). My folks took that pretty well, though interestingly, my mum less so. It came from a good place though; she was worried I was going to get beat up by bigots.

The first half of my 20s were a write-off, so I never really did "scene" things, whatever that means. I actually felt really alienated when I tried, so I eventually stopped trying and was happier for it. I think I'd been through so much at that point that I just found it numbing. There were also crazy things happening in my career and I was extremely driven back then. It wasn't until I was 26 that I was active again. It's not that I didn't want to, it was a reflex after the first relationship ended like it did.

A mere sample of all the trans focused posts on r/askgaybros in the last 10 days: Receipts by RedditHatesLesbians in LGBDropTheT

[–]markiemarcus 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Oh there's a lot of truth to this. It comes out in their rhetoric which just smacks of rad-left. I'd describe the numbers as a very large minority.

Ideas kill people. We're all pansexual. Attraction to random people on the street is the proof in your sexual pudding. You don't know their gender. They could be nonbinary demifemmebutchelf. Think, you phobic phobes. THINK! by fijupanda in LGBDropTheT

[–]markiemarcus 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

God really? I mean, I suppose that makes sense given that there are bound to be some heterosexual who don't. I don't know why I find that shocking...but I do. We're talking about otherwise good people, right? There's not some underlying personality disorder?

Ideas kill people. We're all pansexual. Attraction to random people on the street is the proof in your sexual pudding. You don't know their gender. They could be nonbinary demifemmebutchelf. Think, you phobic phobes. THINK! by fijupanda in LGBDropTheT

[–]markiemarcus 25 insightful - 1 fun25 insightful - 0 fun26 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah this is nonsense.

I actually had a very revealing disagreement with a trans ally on Reddit earlier. He's a gay guy, but before I found that out I assumed he was just another woke homophobe. He was pushing this notion that gay males really wouldn't know the difference from trans men, were it not for the genitals. The entire concept of romantic, same-sex attraction was completely alien to him. He hadn't even considered it. I explained that it's actually more likely that I would have a romantic attraction to a trans woman, than a trans man, despite not being physically attracted; that sort of thing is inexplicable and impossible without Homosexuality. But how could I be romantically attracted to a "male brain"? These things transcend surgery and hormones; it's years of socialisation and a million little things that we just don't understand and probably never will.

I actually found it really sad. Imagine being gay and not knowing love like that. It was frustrating, but I actually left it feeling sorry for him.

Edit: I've just realised that this makes me sound like a schlocky romance novelist. What can I say? Some of these fuckers clearly watch way too much porn and could do with it.

Jonathan Haidt by JulienMayfair in LGBDropTheT

[–]markiemarcus 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Haidt's a good writer and tends to cover both the low res and high res. He earns a strong recommendation from me, at least.

[Rant] I wish the original meanings of bisexual and pansexual was brought back by LasagnaRossa in LGBDropTheT

[–]markiemarcus 5 insightful - 3 fun5 insightful - 2 fun6 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

Novigender two-spirits threw the first brick.

Guy posts about social pressure that lead to partner's suicide as a reason to have LGB exclusive forums. GenderCynical poster only shows the last 2 paragraphs out of 6, removing all context relating to his partner. by MarkJefferson in LGBDropTheT

[–]markiemarcus 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

99% of the time I'm in a great place. That 1% though...the ground sinks. I've kinda made peace that though; when I know that it's finite and transient it's muuuuch easier to accept it.

I don't have a quick answer to your question, unfortunately. There are conditions to my support...

I am what the youngsters would call a "transmedicalist" or "truscum". Though I have serious objections to medicalising children because the symptoms of gender dysphoria are so transient; some studies put the number at around 80%. If you're starting them on puberty blockers, all research points to the overwhelming majority continuing with full HRT. The current tag is that puberty blockers are fully reversible, which may be mostly (but not entirely) true in the short term physical sense, but there's absolutely zero research into the long term and nothing with regards to the psychological effects either. My biggest worry, is that puberty blockers are actually extending the dysphoria (because they haven't gone through puberty) and by the time they're on full HRT they'd have no way of knowing if their dysphoria would have subsided on its own after puberty; because they're pumped full of hormones thereafter. There are also very good reasons to go through puberty in the general sense; it's an essential part of human development. But even if it weren't, in the case of MtF transitions the genitalia actually need to be certain size for the surgery to be successful. Trans radicals are working against themselves there.

I think gender dysphoria is a very real thing and quality of life for some individuals increases post transition. Some, not all. That's an area where we're failing; I think we're now over-diagnosing the fuck out of teens and I fully expect a lot of lawsuits over the coming decade. I'd be thrilled if I were wrong.

Unfortunately, the current situation is a generational thing to a large degree. When you speak with trans people over the age of about 30, you find a very different set of views coming to light. Support for self-ID is surprisingly tepid, they find the notion of trans women competing in female sports to be outrageous and most of the things we've come to associate with trans radicals suddenly are no longer issues. I listen to people like Nicole Gibson (a UK personality) talk and think "How could anybody have a problem with you? Why would I not support you? Of course I do." She's a sweetheart and I greatly respect the stance she has taken given how difficult it is in the current environment. Same deal with Rinoa Leonhart, a Youtuber. Both good people and I will have their backs, regardless of whether or not they're outnumbered by feral, abusive TQ "Fraggle Rock" nutcases on Reddit.

IMO, what we have at the moment with trans youth, is to a moderate extent driven by rad-left politics and exacerbated by the higher prevalence of ASD and social media. They'd be hostile even without trans issues. Many of them will grow out of it and wonder what the fuck they were thinking by wanting both self-ID and access to single sex spaces. You can have one or the other, but not both.

So I support them because I want them to lead fulfilled, happy lives and become decent citizens. But in order to do that, the political tact has to change. Drastically. Fundamentally, they need to embrace who they are; people with gender dysphoria. For all the talk of "acceptance", this is a key area where they're currently fucking it up, because they're young and they've spent most of their adolescence obsessing over it. They don't accept the medical reality and they don't accept the transition process for how serious it is; they want the world to lie and turn on a dime. Now, there are times when a "white lie" is appropriate, healthy and pretty accurate. I'll use the pronouns if you've made the effort and are working with your physician, but I know that there's a difference. Not in a bad way, just different. Back story with unique experiences. Different is good. I'm different. We're different. When you try to make a "white lie" sex-based policy however, with no tangible threshold other than "because I say so", trouble will follow and already has. Good policy is supposed to require considerable thought. People seem to forget that. Anybody pretending that this is easy and won't involve compromise is lying or delusional; the goal should be to shut out the radicals and make reasonable accommodations.

Where else have we gone wrong?

Well, there's a very good case to be made for LGB+T being ill-conceived from the outset; I get it...but I don't get it.

The bar and criteria for some degree of medical intervention is far too low; many of us gay, lesbian and bisexual people without gender dysphoria would actually qualify enough to be able to lie about the remainder. This actually happens. Peer pressure can be a toxic old fucker; you can see 80 fold increases of baseline "trans" amongst peer groups in schools. Statistically speaking, that's almost impossible.

Even in the event of LGBT becoming a thing, we still should have insisted on separate support spaces. To me that's clear as day, and now you know why.

Basic civics. I'm noticing increased numbers of "activists" that border on being outright feral. Their parents have a lot to answer for, as do their schools and universities.

And finally, in the overarching sense, we're leaning far too hard politically and medically into areas where we know shockingly little.

Guy posts about social pressure that lead to partner's suicide as a reason to have LGB exclusive forums. GenderCynical poster only shows the last 2 paragraphs out of 6, removing all context relating to his partner. by MarkJefferson in LGBDropTheT

[–]markiemarcus 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I'll also just add to this because I'm already here, for my lesbian sisters and this "cotton ceiling" madness that you're contenting with, I hear you loud and clear and have been making noise about it for quite some time. It's right out of the incel playbook and I don't like it. I first clocked this problem when Stonewall changed their definition of homosexual to "sexual orientation towards someone of the same gender". As a statement, it's a shining example of talking out of both sides of your mouth.

These inclusion matters are enormously complicated IMO; reductive garbage like Stonewall's "solution" is extremely reckless.

Guy posts about social pressure that lead to partner's suicide as a reason to have LGB exclusive forums. GenderCynical poster only shows the last 2 paragraphs out of 6, removing all context relating to his partner. by MarkJefferson in LGBDropTheT

[–]markiemarcus 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I think it would be fair to say that I mostly have. Mostly. But I do miss him; he was really quite something and deserved a round two. As experience goes, I will never forget it or make the same mistakes. And right now we are making a lot of mistakes...

Guy posts about social pressure that lead to partner's suicide as a reason to have LGB exclusive forums. GenderCynical poster only shows the last 2 paragraphs out of 6, removing all context relating to his partner. by MarkJefferson in LGBDropTheT

[–]markiemarcus 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I really am doing okay. The nightmares are a persistent reflex that I could do without, but you learn a routine for bringing yourself back to earth. Though I avoided them entirely for 5-6 years after, it was tough on new relationships. Takes a strong guy to not freak out. Yes, IIRC there was some degree of concern at the time regarding the addition. Complicated problems usually require bespoke solutions and I think it would be fair to say that Stonewall aren't really up to that these days. I take serious issue with some of their "literature" actually and Queer will always be a slur to me. It also doesn't appear to mean anything based on how I see it used; it's everything but also nothing.

I try to focus on the good trans role models. The loudest voices are always, without fail, the dumbest. That first commenter is actually a sweetheart in his PMs, once he realised what had happened. But this is the danger with these heavily moderated subs. People need dissenting views to grow as people and they're not getting that; it's a key component of the human experience. Things like ASD are definitely overrepresented and that explains some of the lack of empathy, but not all of it. The rest of it is cultivated by social media and heavily moderated interactions IMO; they don't have to be accountable for their antisocial behavior.

It's clear as day to anybody outside of that bubble, but when you're in it and you don't realise it?

Guy posts about social pressure that lead to partner's suicide as a reason to have LGB exclusive forums. GenderCynical poster only shows the last 2 paragraphs out of 6, removing all context relating to his partner. by MarkJefferson in LGBDropTheT

[–]markiemarcus 40 insightful - 1 fun40 insightful - 0 fun41 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I appreciate that, thank you. He was cut short and deserved the world. His parents do have blood on their hands; it was a nightmare situation at the time, but it was also impossible to fully vent my anger. One's better instincts kick in, whether we want them to or not. I started to question what was going through their heads; fundamentally, they still lost a son and I think they knew it was their fault. Still, I had a complete nervous breakdown over the course of the next year. I haven't seen his parents in 14 years; I don't think I could look at them again to be completely honest. Different days at the cemetery etc. so I try to avoid it.

The LGB+T groups we went to at the time unfortunately didn't help the situation. They would run these group counselling sessions and I think we attended about a dozen. Maybe a little less than that. I wouldn't say that any of them were constructive for the reasons I've already laid out, but I recall being absolutely mortified at one in particular. I could see that he was upset so we left and never returned. We had to find the money for more private therapy sessions (there's a waiting list in the public system) which helped to some degree, but I think he just felt so alienated at that point that us, being just us, wasn't enough. He needed a group of his peers, really. Lots of common experiences, something to really break that feeling of isolation and not have people constantly talking about their transitions; that really messed with his head given the circumstances. I really don't have any beef with most Trans people, I wish them well, I have a problem with this style of activism that insists that every single gay/lesbian/bisexual space has to be trans inclusive, when there are very, very good reasons for them to be separate.

I'm doing quite well these days, but it took a long time and you're certainly not the same after. The nightmares can be fucking awful and frequent.

Guy posts about social pressure that lead to partner's suicide as a reason to have LGB exclusive forums. GenderCynical poster only shows the last 2 paragraphs out of 6, removing all context relating to his partner. by MarkJefferson in LGBDropTheT

[–]markiemarcus 82 insightful - 2 fun82 insightful - 1 fun83 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

I am that guy. And yes, the behaviour over at GenderCynical left me sick to my stomach. It's fucked up; I don't know how else to describe it.

I will speak out in defense of a few folks there; I did receive a few PMs from contributors who were mortified. Not that many, a handful, but still. The first commenter was also perfectly civil and decent in PMs.

This ain't a typo. It's called "Freudian slip". by Ossidiana in LGBDropTheT

[–]markiemarcus 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Because actually, this is all about politics IMO. Really, realllllllllly far left politics. I say this as moderate leftie; it's a shitshow.

This ain't a typo. It's called "Freudian slip". by Ossidiana in LGBDropTheT

[–]markiemarcus 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It's funny, I just stumbled across the post and thought exactly the same thing. I've posted a somewhat lengthy response in the Reddit thread, copied below. The only advice I could give to the younger members here is stay strong and stand your ground; this conversation has gone mainstream and the majority of people are on your side. People are waking up to it; there's a lot of pushback in that thread alone.

From my Reddit post:

Educate myself? Good lord, the arrogance. Right up front, we do need spaces for “cis” gay, lesbian and bisexual people. Anybody denying provisions for that is either very young or has nefarious motives IMO. I consider your title more of a Freudian slip.

Some background…

I come from a small and moderately socially conservative, western country, a country that could be a lot worse, but still has one foot stuck in the past. I’ve been out for about 17 years now and around that time I fell madly in love with another guy. I consider myself very fortunate in that I had/have supportive parents, but my boyfriend sadly wasn’t so lucky. His parents were next-level homophobic, the kind that you read about in the news from the worst excesses of religious conservatism. Over a period of about 24 months, he was threatened with excommunication, castration, forced transition (the logic being that this would make him “straight”) etc. You get the picture. Rather than endure that, he moved in with me. The first 8 months were great, but beyond that, I could tell that the weight of excommunication was really starting to affect him.

We talked about it a lot, attended some support groups, anything and everything. Conversation would be continually dominated by the trans individuals there, each and every time. They never shut the fuck up, frankly. Too many voices, too many wildly different experiences for it to be constructive. You see, for my partner, transition was used a threat. It was completely inappropriate to be sharing an emotional space with people who intentionally do so.

Over the next few weeks he went into quick decline and ultimately, I would return from work one afternoon to find him hanging from a pull-up bar. To this day I still carry guilt about it and, in truth, I never really got over it. I loved him. My partner needed these spaces. My partner needed to know that his experience wasn’t unique. Would it have made a difference? Maybe, maybe not. Fundamentally, the blame lies with his parents, but the fact is that the support he needed became “unfashionable” around that time. He was sidelined. They were suddenly all LGB+T spaces, and it was all downhill from there IMO.

If you can’t understand why these spaces really ought to be separate, it’s because you lack the experience to know why. Anybody championing their mass culling ought to be ashamed of themselves. You have no idea what you’re doing, the damage you’re causing and, frankly, many of us “cis” people – a fatuous term but it serves a purpose here – are fucking sick of it. To now see us described as “genital fetishists” with disturbing frequency, is just the icing on the shit sundae being served.

You do you, let us do us. I’ll continue to support trans people however I can. I really will, just as I have done in the past. But I’ve gotta be honest with you, the path that you (and trans activism in general) are currently taking is nothing short of a betrayal...and it’s going to bite you in the ass, politically.