ColonizationShe’s a gay man trapped in a straight woman’s body 🙄🤡

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[–]Virginia_Plain 16 insightful - 1 fun16 insightful - 0 fun17 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

A situation like this was one of my first exposures to "gay FTM" stuff, and the early phase of my peaking. Two of my roommates got married. She transitioned after I moved out, but I was exposed to the concept of "my husband is being difficult and won't accept the fact that he has always been gay, what with my being a man and all." The hidden identity that she carried inside herself was supposed to trump all reality, meaning that even when she gave no hint of it, SHE WAS ALWAYS A MAN, and the man she was in a relationship was gay since he had willingly entered a relationship with a "man." He divorced her ass.

The final straw was her posting links to thinkpieces on trans dating being a necessary component of allyship, and watching her tear into a black FB friend, saying she "of all people" ought to know better than to say that it was wrong to tell people they were bigots for not dating a transman.

A very eye opening experience.

[–]MBMayfair 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Wow. Does she have any friends left?

[–]Virginia_Plain 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I cut contact years ago. She was always unstable, but way too difficult to deal with. I was a very trans supportive person when she came out, so my naive thought was "OK! So that's what was holding her--I mean HIM--back!" No. The sadness, anger, and turmoil just became even more destructive. I think she finally did feel empowered, in part because the hormones, and in part because she finally felt she was part of something people would have to pay attention to: the "Queer Community."

[–]GenderSpecial 13 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 0 fun14 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Of course hanging out with trans people she decided… she’s trans! Just like on Reddit all day every day. The social contagion is real.

[–]DrMantisToboggan 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Found it https://web.archive.org/web/20220921110552/https://www.irishtimes.com/health/your-wellness/2022/09/21/i-am-a-gay-man-in-a-straight-womans-body-if-i-were-to-speak-to-my-husband-about-this-it-could-end-our-marriage/

[–]Horror-SwordfishI don't get how flairs work 8 insightful - 3 fun8 insightful - 2 fun9 insightful - 3 fun -  (2 children)

Thank you for your service, the question was as ludicrous as I assumed and the response was somehow even worse.

[–]MBMayfair 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

That response was awful. Not one word about getting therapy, just full speed ahead with beginning the transition process. Sure, the advisor mentions moving slowly because of the husband and kids, but it still comes down to zero introspection coupled with "And here's a trans organization to contact who will heedlessly and cluelessly encourage you throughout this train wreck! Now off you go!"

[–]Femaleisnthateful 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

And your entire family has to reframe their own identities to suit her narcissism. But that's np, there are activist organizations to facilitate that!

[–]lunarstrain 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I just disliked my body shape, particularly my boobs.

It's always the boobs. Somehow disliking single secondary sex characteristic means you need surgery and affirmation immediately. Perfectly illustrates how shallow of a concept it is!

[–]Horror-SwordfishI don't get how flairs work 14 insightful - 2 fun14 insightful - 1 fun15 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

Hates her boobs, which means that she's actually a gay man, but has no problem whatsoever (assumedly) carrying two children to term and birthing them through her vagina.

As an actual gay man, I would be extremely distressed by becoming pregnant and giving birth to a child, much less two.

[–]xanditAGAB (Assigned Gay at Birth) 3 insightful - 5 fun3 insightful - 4 fun4 insightful - 5 fun -  (0 children)

having babies as a transmasculine afab is queering and decolonizing the vagina and and therefore valid and stunning. She deserves a medal

[–]markiemarcus 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

"My husband is liberal-minded. However, I am not sure this is a situation that he could live with."

Would liberal-mindedness somehow make him more accepting of the fact that you're intentionally planning on starting testosterone, growing a beard and having a shit-ton of cosmetic surgery, nuking your sex life together and becoming somebody who doesn't even resemble the woman he married? Never mind could he live with it, should he?

"I am a gay man in a straight woman’s body."

You have no idea what it feels like to be homosexual or male, so you can't possibly know this.

"I really do not know what to do."

I do. Therapy. Lots and lots of therapy for your body dysmorphia and your gay porn addiction before you ruin your life.

[–]DrMantisToboggan 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Anyone have the text for this article? It appears to be behind a paywall even with the archive link.