LifestyleI feel depressed when women talk about guys (I'm a lesbian)

submitted by oofreesouloo⚡super lesbian⚡ from self.LGBDropTheT

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[–]artemisiagrey 25 insightful - 1 fun25 insightful - 0 fun26 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I know the feeling you're talking about. For me it felt like an intense sadness and sudden "otherness". It would happen when a woman would ask me a typical question about any possible man in my life and I would not know how to describe the giant chasm in between what they assumed about my life vs the reality. Looking back at it, I think maybe I was also mourning the loss of ever having a "normal" life comparatively. I know I couldn't date guys, but I also didn't want to go through life not relating to other people.

I think this is why lesbian culture is so very important. It helps you not feel othered. It helps you realize how your experiences are not alone. It's okay not to relate. Reading and listening to lesbian media really helped me stay grounded in who I am when I felt out of place.

[–]markiemarcus 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

"Looking back at it, I think maybe I was also mourning the loss of ever having a "normal" life comparatively."

Though I'm gay I can definitely relate to the inverse of this, certainly in my late teens / mid twenties and no doubt exacerbated by the loss of my partner at the time. Mid 30s now though and it's a very different story.

As for the OP and overcoming it? Time and embracing the fact that you are different; I don't know if any girl friend could really help you "get there". It's difficult to articulate, but my relationships with the women in my life are more akin to close family. I've not only accepted that, I love it and wouldn't change it.

Perhaps this is different for lesbians though?

[–]artemisiagrey 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I feel the same way now. I think the difference of realizing it's true and accepting it as your life can take time. And it hits different people in different ways.

From what I've seen, it takes lesbians longer to come out sometimes. For me I knew I liked women early on. Realizing I wasn't into men took longer. I've seen other lesbians say the same. I think that's where some of the cognitive dissonance can build up.