This fucking ugly-ass mess

artemisiagrey · 2022-12-20T18:07:20+00:00

Do they know the difference between a logo and a flag? They keep talking about a symbolic flag "for everyone", but all I see is a evolving logo for a public relations project.

artemisiagrey · 2021-10-08T10:23:30+00:00

If I could get one, that would be great. Thanks.

artemisiagrey · 2021-09-10T17:07:15+00:00

Wow. I'm so sorry you went through all that! I think therapy is a good idea. It's hard to trust when people constantly give mixed messages, much less when it comes from someone you consider a friend.

Right now, just focus on yourself. I would recommend giving yourself some space from this woman while you're processing your feelings. If after that if you feel like you can still be friends with her, have an honest talk about why and how she hurt you.

artemisiagrey · 2021-09-03T16:47:17+00:00

Right now, I'm not doing great. I don't know if it's the pandemic getting to me or the fact that my home life (roommate issues) has been very difficult lately. I've been trying to make steady progress so things can get better, but it's 'one step forward, two steps back' a lot of the time.

I know it'll get better in the future, but right now it's rough.

artemisiagrey · 2021-08-07T22:26:15+00:00

Sometimes the quiet but eccentric apartments are the best ones. Some of my favorite places I've stayed at have been like that.

artemisiagrey · 2021-08-07T22:24:31+00:00

That's great news! Have a great week.

artemisiagrey · 2021-08-07T03:36:05+00:00

I usually make it clear it's a date when asking them out. If they asked you out and you're not sure, just ask. It's just easier.

artemisiagrey · 2021-08-07T03:25:17+00:00

I hope your sorta date goes well!

artemisiagrey · 2021-08-06T23:02:10+00:00

Last week was super busy for me. Hopefully next week will be more relaxed. Got to start the weekend with a walk through a park though.

Not sure if I have a favorite, but I've been going back and listening to a lot of classic albums lately. Lots of k.d. lang.

artemisiagrey · 2021-08-06T22:46:12+00:00

Yeah, in-person culture is definitely hard to find. I mostly meant old poetry collections, books, autobiographies, recordings from concerts or women-centered events. Anything from before our current situation, when queer theory hadn't infiltrated our culture. Reading/listening to those things reminds me that we have always been here and always will be. It doesn't fix things, but it makes me feel better at the very least.

artemisiagrey · 2021-08-05T13:27:25+00:00

I feel the same way now. I think the difference of realizing it's true and accepting it as your life can take time. And it hits different people in different ways.

From what I've seen, it takes lesbians longer to come out sometimes. For me I knew I liked women early on. Realizing I wasn't into men took longer. I've seen other lesbians say the same. I think that's where some of the cognitive dissonance can build up.

artemisiagrey · 2021-08-04T21:57:25+00:00

I'm glad! And acceptance really is a process. There is nothing wrong with how you are living it right now, even if it's not the ideal.

artemisiagrey · 2021-08-04T21:29:04+00:00

I agree! There's nothing wrong with being different. That was just the process I went through to accept myself. We all process things in our own way.

artemisiagrey · 2021-08-04T19:23:09+00:00

I know the feeling you're talking about. For me it felt like an intense sadness and sudden "otherness". It would happen when a woman would ask me a typical question about any possible man in my life and I would not know how to describe the giant chasm in between what they assumed about my life vs the reality. Looking back at it, I think maybe I was also mourning the loss of ever having a "normal" life comparatively. I know I couldn't date guys, but I also didn't want to go through life not relating to other people.

I think this is why lesbian culture is so very important. It helps you not feel othered. It helps you realize how your experiences are not alone. It's okay not to relate. Reading and listening to lesbian media really helped me stay grounded in who I am when I felt out of place.

artemisiagrey · 2021-07-31T08:16:55+00:00

Tell us what it's like! I was going to download it, but was waiting until I heard more about it.

artemisiagrey · 2021-07-24T18:07:48+00:00

I looked it up and that event looks amazing!

artemisiagrey · 2021-07-23T20:29:52+00:00

That's great news about your show! I hope it gets sold soon!

A virtual book club would be great, but yeah it would need to be set up just right to prevent people from crashing in.

artemisiagrey · 2021-07-23T17:20:19+00:00

I wish I could say I have big plans for the weekend, but I'll probably stay in. With a minor injury (I'm fine) and the world being the way it is right now, it seems better to rest up instead. I will most likely play a video game and maybe watch Black Widow.

Beyond that I've been baking lately and reading through Dykes To Watch Out For.

artemisiagrey · 2021-07-23T06:03:14+00:00

Wonderful!!

artemisiagrey · 2021-07-21T23:45:14+00:00

Excellent! Thank you! Hopefully we can get more people talking again :)

artemisiagrey · 2021-07-21T00:56:21+00:00

I'm sorry this happened to you. It sounds like you need to meet people who have more going on in their life than just dating.

Personally, my go to way to handle dating questions (when I don't feel like coming out to the person for what ever reason) is to ignore the fact that they're talking about men. What kind of guy are you into? Tell them what kind of women you like without making it obvious you are talking about women. Have you dated anyone recently? That's already an open question, so just answer honestly. You're not required to give them full disclosure.

I also just tell people that I'm focusing on myself and then start taking about hobbies I'm into. It's a good way to change the subject away from guys. It doesn't always work, but it's worth a try.

Also don't feel the need to answer questions. There's nothing wrong with saying you're focusing on your career right now and avoiding the topic entirely.

artemisiagrey · 2021-06-26T02:25:00+00:00

I know what you mean. I have a friend who's gay but thinks he's doing the right thing by being supportive of all this nonsense. I know his heart is in the right place and hope he'll see what's going on eventually. I also know women who are gender critical but they're very straight and feminine so they don't get some of the things that get to me sometimes. I'm used to that by now though. I would love to meet a fellow LGB who's also gc in person someday.

artemisiagrey · 2021-06-25T23:12:09+00:00

As a gender non-conforming lesbian (who also grew up in the goth scene!), I get it. For a while there it looked like gender stereotypes were slowly being broken down. Now we're back where we started.

Knowing now that we've gone backwards and everything I went through would be interpreted as 'I'm really just a man' is so messed up. It feels like erasure of gender non-conforming experiences.

It took me years to finally get to a place where I could accept myself as a masculine woman. There are still days where I feel uncomfortable being myself in public. It's a process. But I am happier now, which is something.

Honestly, I don't know if any of this actually helps, but I do hear what you are saying. You're not alone in this.

artemisiagrey