"I want to be in the LGBT community too!"

indeepshadows · 2020-08-01T22:43:07+00:00

Somehow I knew I wouldn't have to scroll for long to see someone with green hair. I was not wrong.

indeepshadows · 2020-08-01T22:34:08+00:00

A wonderful idea! The last LGB book I read (and liked immensely) was 'Proper English' by KJ Charles. It's a historical lesbian romance with a quick pace and interesting characters. Plus a murder!

indeepshadows · 2020-08-01T22:24:23+00:00

I'm not coming from an attitude that's denying people the way they see themselves or the world around them. However, L, G and B have something in common that we are naturally grouped together by: we're all same-sex attracted.

I genuinely believe asexuality, aromanticism, and transgender are real things, but I can only view them from an outsider's perspective. I have sympathy and can attempt to understand, but I can't really relate. And, to be real, my support for transgender has shrunk to supporting certain individuals whom I believe are sincere. Aces I appreciate and support, so long as they don't make their lack of sexuality substitute for a personality.

indeepshadows · 2020-08-01T11:44:25+00:00

They do. And they cancelled their TRA queen, Contrapoints, simply for having Buck Angel do a 10 second voice over for one of their videos.

indeepshadows · 2020-07-31T22:07:40+00:00

This was so absurd that I had to check if it really happened. Of course it did. What was I expecting - people acting like they possess a brain cell? Apparently this was when they opened Vancouver Women's Library in February 2017.

indeepshadows · 2020-07-31T20:51:23+00:00

I don't have a strong bias as a bisexual, but I've definitely never found myself hoping my crush was the sex they're not. And since you ladies were talking about "girldick" earlier, I'll tell you how I see it: it's a mindfuck. You're viewing the person as a woman based on secondary sex characterics, but then the primary characteristics don't match the ones that attracted you in the first place..! It's never happened to me, but I don't think I'd be thrilled to discover a lady love wasn't actually a lady. It's like your mind is on one track and suddenly you'd be expected to move the train to another track... Only not, because you're not allowed to see the "girldick" as an indicator of manhood. I don't think it would work out for me.

indeepshadows · 2020-07-31T20:37:22+00:00

Thanks for this! I've been wondering how Islamic countries view this phenomenon, but have been too lazy to do the research.

indeepshadows · 2020-07-31T15:46:25+00:00

Yes, I've seen this a lot, too. Identity politics also encourage people to accept the "most oppressed" people as the ones who know the truth, so when a LGBT POC with disabilities says nonbinaries are valid, you can't argue unless you want to be painted a racist transphobe.

indeepshadows · 2020-07-31T14:39:00+00:00

I mean, I don't disagree. I'm just one of those people with an impulse to be kind. But not unquestioningly so. :D

indeepshadows · 2020-07-31T14:23:54+00:00

Other people have made great arguments I agree with already, so I'll just say that I don't believe in nonbinary at all.

As for why people flock to validate these individuals on their identities, I think most people are driven by their desire to be kind and not make others feel uncomfortable. Even when they don't really understand what exactly it is they're supporting. Kindness is admirable, but can be misguided. I'm not sure these people who are quick to support without questioning are the kind that tend to scrutinise their own thoughts and principles overmuch. Or maybe they just don't really care about these things.

indeepshadows · 2020-07-31T09:07:21+00:00

Wow, this is what I call high fantasy.

indeepshadows · 2020-07-31T09:05:00+00:00

It's ok, miscommunications happen.

indeepshadows · 2020-07-31T07:06:32+00:00

This was a fascinating read; thank you for linking!

indeepshadows · 2020-07-31T06:14:07+00:00

That's not what I said, though. :/

indeepshadows · 2020-07-30T21:52:35+00:00

How about "trans radical activists"? We'd get to keep calling them TRAs, too, but they wouldn't sound so cute. Plus it's accurate.

indeepshadows · 2020-07-30T20:18:23+00:00

Tbh I'm shocked they still call it same-sex attraction, not same-gender one.

indeepshadows · 2020-07-30T19:11:56+00:00

It took some thinking, but I find MTFs worse. Not the HSTSs, but AGP MTFs. I'm a bisexual woman, so it's safe to say I'm not someone they'd shove their "girldicks" at; after all, I'm not validating to their identities. But... and sorry to all the fine gents here, but I find unknown men unnerving if for whatever reason I happen to be alone with them. And MTFs (potentially with AGP) ping very loudly in my danger radar. I also sympathise very much with the plight of my lesbian sisters, so these MTFs threatening them are my primary concern for that reason as well.

This is not to say I'm not worried about FTMs. I am. It's appalling what's happening to young women in the Western world, and I'm angry that they're not much better than MTFs when it comes to infiltrating homosexual spaces. I hate this phenomenon both as an older woman hoping to safeguard young girls and as an ally to gay men.

indeepshadows · 2020-07-30T08:40:16+00:00

Lol, it's like Germany's flag, but upside down with an additional colour.

Germangender; a gender identifying strongly with Germany? Or maybe Germansexual; someone sexually attracted to all things German?

I mean, it is a nice accent...

indeepshadows · 2020-07-29T20:09:09+00:00

Fred is definitely not the friendliest guy out there, but I'm glad he's making an effort to preserve history.

indeepshadows · 2020-07-29T19:42:55+00:00

I never liked anime/yaoi, but I fell into the M/M hole as a teen, but I didn't stay there for a very long time. I got hyperfixated in something else and forgot about the M/M scene for more than a decade. I still turned out all right, I think! But then again, I was a teen in the early 00s. Times were different back then; nobody thought they could become a gay man. Who knows where I would be if I was fifteen years younger?

I actually wonder though, if some don't.. or if they just never stop and think about it, because that is threatening, at least.

I can only speak for myself and the fandom friends I have... that is, women well over thirty. We know the score, but I genuinely have no idea what the young ones are thinking. I see them put out a lot of genderwoowoo fiction. Especially the ones that identify as trans or nonbinary. It's awful to think that I might've contributed to their identity problems with my stories.

indeepshadows · 2020-07-29T19:22:35+00:00

That comment was really... bewildering. And I don't mean it in a bad way. I was just very surprised by the depth of the person's self-analysis, as well as the severity of the side effects she suffered from her hobby. I recognised some of those things in myself, too, but on a much milder level. I was very much into M/M fanfiction as a teen, too, but if memory serves, I grew disinterested at age 17 or something. I never liked any kind of anime or yaoi, though: I thought the stereotypes depicted were super obvious and annoying. I came back to fic in my late twenties because I had time to kill, and what's more fun than reading unrealistic romantic stories?

M/M is definitely not only for straight girls/women; I know for a fact I'm not the only one who wanted to experiment with same-sex relationships without putting my own self out there. There was also convenient plausible deniability there: if my homophobic mother would have seen the stuff I read, I could have just gone "I just really like men, what can I say?". I couldn't have explained F/F content away like that. I certainly thought I was working on my internalised homophobia back in my teenage years when I was reading all that stuff, and maybe it did help me a little bit. I don't know. I'm a grown ass woman in my thirties now, and reading F/F and M/M stories is pure entertainment to me.

I don't know what's happening in Japan and Korea, I'm afraid, but I doubt a lot of people are transitioning over there. They are very conservative societies in their own unique ways.

indeepshadows · 2020-07-29T09:13:01+00:00

The Human Rights Campaign chose to comment on this as follows: "The brutal attack on a same-sex couple for refusing to kiss in front of a group of men is a direct result of latent and widespread misogyny and homophobia. This epidemic of hate violence against LGBTQ people and trans women worldwide must end now."

To say I'm angry doesn't even begin to cover it.

indeepshadows · 2020-07-29T09:10:15+00:00

Precisely. Written BY women FOR women. The overwhelming majority of women in that scene know this, but I suppose some impressionable teens can't tell the difference between fiction and reality. There was a very interesting conversation about this a while back on s/GenderCritical.

indeepshadows · 2020-07-29T08:52:33+00:00

LOL! No, the truth that some straight girls are so obsessed with yaoi that they feel like their love of men is "gay". It's so sad. I think there's some internalised misogyny going on there.

Also, I'm tired of seeing some FTMs justify being "gay" by saying they've always had crushes on gay men. Being heterosexual means being attracted to the opposite sex, and sometimes you're unlucky and fall for someone who can't reciprocate. Just because you're crushing on gay guys doesn't mean you're a gay man. It just means you like men.

indeepshadows · 2020-07-29T08:08:32+00:00

There we have it. The truth a lot of FTMs don't want us to know.

indeepshadows · 2020-07-28T16:51:22+00:00

That D&D joke made me crack up. :D Also, your group sounds nice and relaxed; something that's in short supply these days.

Trust me, I'm not chill at all. At all. I'm pretty obsessive; I'm either there 100%, or not at all. Which is why I've had several bouts of bad depression in my life, and I've had to learn to suppress myself when I'm getting too engaged with something. Especially causes that mean so much to me, but are unwinnable by a lone ranger. I've had to learn how to recognise which battles are worth fighting, and how much energy I should expend on each of them - and if there's a reward to any of it. It's difficult sometimes, but forcing myself to chill generally helps keep my life balanced.

I hear you about the lying. I hate that we live in an era that pressures us to accept flat-out lies as the gospel ("TWAW! Nonbinary is a real thing! Lesbians love girldicks!"). Sometimes you have to lie so you can keep your job; it fucking sucks, but it is what it is. :( You shouldn't feel too guilty about it, though. There's a very good reason to lie when your livelihood is on the line. What matters is that you're not having to hide your personality from everyone, and that you have people around you that don't persecute you for your opinions. Like your D&D group. :)

Anyway, my best to you! Always look out for yourself, first and foremost.

indeepshadows · 2020-07-28T16:14:38+00:00

You're on TRA levels of willfully misunderstanding your opponent. Congrats.

indeepshadows · 2020-07-28T10:45:50+00:00

We should be celebrating people like Uyaiedu Ikpe-Etim as brave and stunning. It seems making this movie has been a tremendous risk for her. I hope I can see it somehow.

indeepshadows · 2020-07-28T09:35:43+00:00

How can I stop killing them when I haven't even started, and don't intend to?

indeepshadows · 2020-07-28T09:31:32+00:00

Unbelievable... if someone doesn't see this for the woman-hating propaganda it is, I'll be shocked. It couldn't be more obvious that this is a transwoman saying "I am feel uncomfortable when we are not about [validating] me?" Literally the only way a natal woman can be this TW's ally is by keeping her thoughts to herself and repeating the TWAW mantra with a dead look in her eyes. Well, I hope he'll be in short supply of allies from now on. Yeah, wishful thinking, I know.

indeepshadows · 2020-07-28T09:21:04+00:00

Mods, would a post like this be okay on this sub? (I hope they see this!) In case the answer is no, I think s/GenderCriticalGuys would probably welcome it. :)

I'm 100% with you on the TRAs. I've tried very, very hard to understand where they're coming from, but almost none of what they say is convincing to me. I can sympathise with individuals who are clearly distressed by something, but I can't at all accept that the world should change to accommodate the lot of them -- and I especially can't approve of their attempt at erasing LGBs & women's rights.

indeepshadows · 2020-07-28T09:06:26+00:00

I relate to everything you said. You asked how the rest of us deal with it, and I'll tell you my ways of coping.

I go outside the house a lot, meeting my friends and hanging out with my spouse (no, COVID isn't bad here). I try to live life as fully as I can. I take breaks from the internet when I feel like my mental health is declining. I hold on tight to my creative hobbies, indulging myself instead of catering to others. When a conversation makes it possible, I inform other people of what's happening in the LGBT community. I watch movies, read books, and enjoy art in galleries. I take my spouse out on dates to restaurants and eat well. I try to be as truthful as I can in my everyday life.

In short, I try not to despair over the future. I'm just one person; I can't carry the worries of the world on my shoulders. But I can help in small ways. I can change a few minds here and there, and I can encourage people to find out for themselves, like I did. But my responsibility is to myself, first and foremost; if I'm healthy and doing well, I'm doing good things to those around me, too.

indeepshadows · 2020-07-27T22:13:02+00:00

No, I wouldn't wish something like AGP on anyone. It's brave of you to admit to it; I think it's something that needs to be discussed in public life, not hidden under the carpet. If you ever feel you're up for it, I'd love to read your story on a gender critical sub or someplace else that welcomes such a topic. Us here mostly see the kind that try to infiltrate lesbians lives and bedrooms, so an account from someone who has the condition would be an interesting change.

indeepshadows · 2020-07-27T22:05:03+00:00

I lasted for 28 seconds... :'D Thank you for showing me, though!

indeepshadows · 2020-07-27T07:03:03+00:00

You can't be an attack helicopter!

indeepshadows · 2020-07-27T06:52:37+00:00

Objection, Your Honor! Trans women can't be lesbians!

indeepshadows · 2020-07-27T06:50:28+00:00

Anytime. :)

I'm definitely all for them establishing their own community. I'm sure romantic asexuals and aromantic ones have a ton of common ground! If my memory doesn't fail me, I think they already have a group like that, called AVEN or something?

I think I can more easily relate to being only asexual than being aromantic, since I can't imagine my life without romantic love. But I can imagine it without sex, funnily enough. Not that I'm asexual myself, but sex has never been a huge priority for me. I also think aromantic people might not relate to the core problem a lot of same-sex attracted people have: getting to love who we love.

indeepshadows · 2020-07-27T06:35:41+00:00

If an asexual is romantically attracted to the same sex (or both sexes), I welcome them. The issues are the same ones as ours, since the random spectator can't know if a same-sex couple is sexual with each other or not. If an asexual is heteroromantically inclined, I don't know why they'd even want to be a part of our community. I think asexuality in itself is a real phenomenon, but it's a non-orientation, unlike homosexuality and bisexuality.

indeepshadows · 2020-07-27T06:22:16+00:00

Poor lad. I had no idea it was possible to be both gay and an autogynephiliac. I'm glad he stopped HRT and is now talking about this phenomenon.

indeepshadows · 2020-07-26T17:47:28+00:00

Don't feel bad about being with someone of the opposite sex. I am, too. Not married, though. It's a perfectly common experience that we end up with a partner of the opposite sex; there's more of them available. It doesn't mean one is suddenly no longer same-sex attracted.

Anyway, lakeside fun sounds great. I'm glad you had a nice weekend by the sound of it. :)

indeepshadows · 2020-07-26T15:08:52+00:00

"cis gay men are guests in the drag community and that guests aren't always welcome"

I wonder how thoroughly they'd lose it if I replaced "cis gay men" with "trans people" and "drag community" with "LGB community". Bloody hell.

indeepshadows · 2020-07-26T15:00:44+00:00

Yeah, I've similar thoughts. I don't think pansexuality is a real orientation; they're just bisexuals who want to look woke.

I'm attracted to both sexes, and androgyny appeals to me in both of them, but the thing is... If I see a lovely looking person and they introduce themselves as nonbinary or what have you, any attraction I may have had just withers away, because you just know they'll be likely to have no personality outside of their made up identity. And that's when it's convenient to say you're bisexual (NOT pan), since they might get the memo that they're not included in that. Even though they are, since what I actually see is a person whom I consider a man or a woman. Except now people are trying to redefine bisexuality to be about gender, which is absolute and utter rubbish.

Sigh. So idk. Pansexuals are bisexuals, but not the kind I'd want to sit with. :')

indeepshadows · 2020-07-26T14:03:37+00:00

I agree with that. Personally, the only advantage I see in other people calling themselves pansexual is that my bisexuality, in contrast, leaves people questioning whether or not I'm into trans and nb people.

indeepshadows · 2020-07-26T10:07:44+00:00

Are bisexual and pansexual distinctions worth having?

indeepshadows · 2020-07-26T10:06:19+00:00

I read the whole thing and I'm glad you're pointing out the lack of LGB in LGBT. You're a good ally for doing this.

I'd leave out any reference to your own identity and focus less on pointing out that many of the events are centered on racial things. I'd also leave out everything that touches on the conflict between LGB and T; I fear they'd look at that and discard everything else you said.. These are clearly TRAs who've taken control of the event, and we know they can't be reasoned with, especially if they recognise you as someone who's their opponent.

Anyway, good luck with your letter. I'm glad you're doing this.

indeepshadows · 2020-07-25T21:50:29+00:00

Very wholesome. I'm happy you!

indeepshadows · 2020-07-25T21:46:43+00:00

I learnt a new programming language. My relationship is also doing better because my spouse and I started talking about some buried issues.

indeepshadows · 2020-07-25T18:22:28+00:00

Oh, I wasn't saying truscum haven't caused problems for LGB people; like you can read in my post and several replies I've left to other people, I definitely think they have. I was only reacting to you saying ""Tucutes" are usually just children and are in no way a real world threat."

indeepshadows · 2020-07-25T17:57:58+00:00

I agree with you about the pseudoscience, but I think tucutes are a genuine threat. They're weaponizing cancel culture to get their way and shut down anyone who dares to question them. They're luring in vulnerable kids and teens in desperate need for attention. They're trying to erase issues like autogynephilia. They're harassing medical professionals until they're frightened enough to let anyone transition. There are definitely a lot of green-haired 15-year-olds calling themselves stargender with weird pronouns, and yeah, maybe that's not dangerous in itself, but tucutes as a group has a lot of power.

indeepshadows · 2020-07-25T16:38:56+00:00

Oh shit, yes, when you put it like that, I do remember seeing sentiments like that. It makes me absolutely horrified to even think I'd find out far into the relationship that my partner has transitioned at some point in their life; it'd bbe gaslighting and deceit of a most fundamental kind.

indeepshadows · 2020-07-25T15:39:07+00:00

You made me laugh out loud. Is that really an issue they have? xD Meanwhile, a religious cult is brainwashing my cousins into becoming breeding machines simply for being female, but yeah... Non-gendered shoes, I guess.

indeepshadows · 2020-07-25T15:27:50+00:00

This is the very heart of my issues with nonbinary identities. If only these individuals stopped calling themselves by ridiculous labels and helped the rest of us challenge the social expectations placed on men and women, we'd be making progress in the right direction. But I guess that's too old-fashioned or something. I guess it doesn't win them oppression points and exclamations of "brave and stunning!"

indeepshadows · 2020-07-25T15:05:33+00:00

Truscum are the group pushing to make rape by deception acceptable.

I've not seen this for myself, but then again, I don't follow trans issues very closely. Deceiving other people into dating them and having sex with them without disclosing they're trans sounds absolutely deplorable, though.

Totally agree with you on tucutes; their brand of homophobia is what brought me to this sub. And yeah, both groups cause issues, but they're different issues.

indeepshadows · 2020-07-25T14:59:25+00:00

I will never get over the fact that "truscum" and "tucute" were either invented by, or popularized by a natural born woman on Tumblr going by the handle of "idislikecispeople" and she identified as an MTF. Yes, human being born with vagina, identified as MTF.

Holy shit, I had no idea! That's insane - and so symptomatic of what we're seeing.

But transsexuals aren't perfect either, a lot of them try to push the ladybrain issue, or the female soul born in male body thing.

Yeah, I take issue with that as well. I get that they want to refer to science as an explanation for why they feel the way they do, but afaik, there's no bulletproof medical explanation to what causes gender dysphoria. For being generally sensible about themselves and the reality around them, it's more than a bit baffling to see some of them refer to ladybrains and male souls.

We should have said 'You're straight now, hunty. Go fly on your own wings. I'll support you as a friend, but you can't sit with us.'

Yes, basically. Their issues are not the same as ours.

indeepshadows · 2020-07-25T13:42:37+00:00

This interview is older than the JK Rowling controversy, recorded in February. If anything, it looks to me like Buck has hardened his stance over time.

indeepshadows · 2020-07-25T13:16:31+00:00

Yeah, I've similar experiences. I have some sympathy for the truscum side of trans people, but at the same time I worry about their message reaching so-called baby gays who experience gender dysphoria and don't know about the self-solving nature of it. I worry such individuals might look to medicine to fix it, inspired by the sensible and science-driven truscum, when they could in fact just be homosexual and gender non-conforming, and live a happy life if they just gave it some time. It also bothers me that I've not seen many truscum address autogynephilia, which is a massive problem for the lesbian community.

indeepshadows · 2020-07-25T10:57:39+00:00

Oh, poppycock. Their argument boils down to 'free speech is only good if it takes my feelings into account'.

indeepshadows · 2020-07-24T21:07:19+00:00

Yeah, I hear you. I can't call myself a radfem either, though I agree with many ideas they have. But generally I feel like I'm too middle-of-the-road ideologically for most groups to really feel like I'm part of them. I have an impression that feeling politically homeless isn't an unusual experience for many people in this sub. Anyway, I'm glad you desisted; I hope your choice has made you happier.

indeepshadows · 2020-07-24T10:51:29+00:00

Here's the conversation that came before this one: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vDT-Yj5n6zE

It's extremely amusing how Piers Morgan exposes this dude's lack of knowledge on these things. He has no logical argument.

indeepshadows · 2020-07-24T08:21:56+00:00

That was a really good video. I didn't read the comments, though, and sounds like that was the right choice. I'm one of those secretive bisexuals who've hid previous same-sex affairs due to fear, living in an area that isn't super liberal. The only people who know are my partner, my brother, and one of my friends. I've been weighing the option of coming out, since sometimes people deem it okay to say awfully homophobic things in my vicinity - maybe them knowing I'm bisexual would help dispel some prejudices? Maybe I'd feel better, too? I don't know. Anyway, this video was food for thought.

indeepshadows · 2020-07-23T23:42:19+00:00

I kind of hate to admit it, but there's something endearing about Contrapoints. Sense of humour and taste in aesthetics, perhaps.

indeepshadows · 2020-07-23T23:14:44+00:00

deep sigh

I don't even know what half of that is supposed to mean.

indeepshadows · 2020-07-23T23:12:16+00:00

Most of my favourites have already been mentioned, but here's a few more:

Arty Morty, gendercritical gay man https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCsIEHEgnuo0g1sUuZ0BG--g MikeMGTV, bisexual man https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYCdKbd5R0Nx3s0ZTpxT4OA

indeepshadows · 2020-07-23T11:09:47+00:00

Buck is great! I wish he'd start a YouTube channel.

indeepshadows · 2020-07-23T00:13:18+00:00

Agreed. The only one I currently like is Mars (TransBruh). He seems genuinely different from the rest; he even did a live interview with an autogynephile a while back.

indeepshadows · 2020-07-23T00:09:23+00:00

Absolutely not. The idea is ludicrous; male puberty gives biological men a clear advantage that doesn't go away even when their testosterone is blocked. If transwomen are allowed to compete with women, we'll end up with men's sports and transwomen's sports.

indeepshadows · 2020-07-22T23:53:31+00:00

I think it's because it's been so difficult to create women-only spaces these days. I don't speak for radfems, though, that's just my general impression. I hope r/GenderCriticalGuys reorganises somewhere, so you'll have a place to discuss these things.

indeepshadows · 2020-07-22T23:36:58+00:00

I'm personally not into porn, but I know many women who love gay porn. I've talked about it with some of them, and they've told it's not only because they think it's hot, but also because they don't like how women are represented in porn. Also, many of them don't like seeing an avatar of themselves in degrading situations (which is very common in porn that has female actors). I guess it's just something they find easier to consume than straight or lesbian porn, even if they are attracted to women, too.

indeepshadows · 2020-07-22T19:22:29+00:00

Isn't it wonderful how changing their mind doesn't even occur to these cultists? That's why they're cultists, I guess. :D

indeepshadows · 2020-07-22T07:03:43+00:00

I wonder if it's because they find it easier to find partners when they call themselves 'gay' or 'straight' than when they call themselves bi or pan?

Probably! My own brother, for instance, sometimes has sex with men and transwomen, but he still calls himself straight. Whether it's because he only seems to develop romantic attraction towards natal women or if he struggles with internalized homophobia (I know I do, and we're of the same upbringing), I don't know. I can well imagine some Kinsey scale 5 people wouldn't be keen to talk about their slight interest in the opposite sex if they're seeking a same-sex relationship. I hope more people realised that it's okay to be bisexual.

indeepshadows · 2020-07-21T19:27:39+00:00

Tell people they can't have something and they'll want it. Which is nice in this case, since JK Rowling a pretty good writer and deserves her massive reader base, if you ask me. The TRA hysteria definitely inspired me to buy her work.

indeepshadows · 2020-07-21T18:57:24+00:00

I could have written this myself, aside from the boyfriend part. I tried to identify as an asexual, too, but eventually had to admit it wasn't right. I'm over thirty and I still feel like I'm working through some internalized homophobia; partly why I decided to write this post. I used to draw a lot as a teenager, and I always hid the art I'd made of women/girls I was attracted to, because I was sure my family could tell from the pictures that they were made while thirsty. :D I was sure if I'd let my homosexual attraction run free, I'd never look at a man again. Little did I know, it doesn't work like that for bisexuals.

indeepshadows · 2020-07-21T18:42:04+00:00

Holy shit, I got chills down my spine reading your story. That's really tragic, but powerful. I'm glad you're still here with us, and I hope that girl is, too.

indeepshadows · 2020-07-21T17:33:45+00:00

Perfectly put.

indeepshadows · 2020-07-21T17:16:58+00:00

Holy shit! I grew up not knowing homosexuality was something that existed, but I can only imagine that their existence was an even greater secret in the USSR. That must have been so isolating. I'm glad your first introduction to the concept of homosexuality was a positive one, though!

indeepshadows · 2020-07-21T17:13:04+00:00

I'm so sorry that everyone reacted negatively to you coming out; that must have been so rough. :( I'm bisexual, but I can relate to how you thought women were hotter than men; as a teen I was so worked up about my bisexuality (and trying to bury it) that I was outright obsessed with women and girls. Maybe because I tried so hard not to be that it was inevitable that I couldn't get them out of my mind. :'D Also, hear you about being "too curious"! Glad you're loving yourself now. :)

indeepshadows · 2020-07-21T16:47:50+00:00

As someone who's loved reading m/m (and f/f) fanfiction for a couple of decades, I always found the cross-sex cosplayers super weird. And many years later, I thought the FTMs popping up everywhere was a strange phenomenon. I'm embarrassed to say I didn't connect the dots until a while ago. :D

indeepshadows · 2020-07-21T16:08:53+00:00

I got my first kiss when I was sixteen, and it was with another girl. Another moment in time when I went spiralling into an identity crisis, thinking this is NOT supposed to feel this good lol

indeepshadows · 2020-07-21T16:02:04+00:00

I'm reading "A Casual Vacancy", which is written for adults, and it's great so far. So if you want to start reading her, this one's a good first buy, I think.

indeepshadows · 2020-07-21T13:31:29+00:00

Shit, were all the responders non-lesbian? They really should have specified they're not lesbian if they're on a lesbian sub.

Actually, that makes me really angry. What the hell are they doing, speaking over lesbians like that? That's really fucking harmful, though I'll bet most of them just wanted to be nice.

But anyway, you're right. The op's silence and subsequent deletion of the post really speaks volumes.

indeepshadows · 2020-07-21T13:24:52+00:00

Oh man, that's so rough. I'm sorry that happened to you, and I hope you'll have better luck with dating in the future.

indeepshadows · 2020-07-21T10:21:30+00:00

Precisely. It goes to show they don't actually care; they're just scoring points.

indeepshadows · 2020-07-21T10:20:11+00:00

That actually makes sense. I hope you've found a new, better family from friends. :)

indeepshadows · 2020-07-21T10:04:49+00:00

Oh man, I'm so sorry to hear you had a hardcore religious family. It's good that you're comfortable with yourself now; these things are really hard to overcome sometimes. My extended family is quite similar to what your parents sound like, but my parents aren't massively religious; just conservative. I guess my father would understand, but my mother wouldn't, so I've never gotten around to telling them... and I don't think I will, unless I ever get serious with another woman.

indeepshadows · 2020-07-21T09:40:02+00:00

That's actually super cute. :)

indeepshadows · 2020-07-21T08:03:37+00:00

You're so on point! Well put. Sometimes I feel like the trans rights movement is looking to restrict everyone who is not trans. Since they're not actually lacking any civic rights in the Western world.

indeepshadows · 2020-07-20T23:01:09+00:00

Omnisexual? Sounds fake, but when has material reality ever stopped the Qs?

indeepshadows · 2020-07-20T22:58:05+00:00

It was so refreshing to see the response that tweet got. Rarely do I ever get to read opinions on Twitter I agree with. That Brazilian article sounds like such a disgrace. I bloody hope the ladies terminated their subscriptions.

indeepshadows · 2020-07-20T22:19:38+00:00

He really hates women, huh?

indeepshadows · 2020-07-20T19:53:45+00:00

To any TRA reading this, please know that the best way to hurt a girl like me is to drop my letter off the alphabet soup, along with the L and G. I'm so very scared of losing you guys, for real. I really hope you won't dump us... :coughs:

indeepshadows · 2020-07-20T19:49:36+00:00

It irks me to see grown ass people who still haven't learned that not every group or place will be open for them. This is something you're supposed to learn during your teenage years and make peace with it. No, you can't be a real girl. No, you can't have everything. Ffs, nobody can.

indeepshadows · 2020-07-20T19:43:18+00:00

That is a terrible generalisation to make. You can't seriously think all trans people are one or the other.

indeepshadows · 2020-07-20T17:22:05+00:00

God, why can't they leave homosexual people alone? I mean, I think I know, but it's still gross how little self-awareness they seem to have.

indeepshadows · 2020-07-20T14:21:21+00:00

I may consider people who date transsexual people to be more or less bisexual, but who consenting adults date and how they define themselves is none of my business. So long as they're not telling other people who they're supposed to be attracted to, it's all fine by me. I'm glad your friend has found someone to make him happy; love is something to be celebrated!

indeepshadows · 2020-07-20T08:43:48+00:00

Fair enough! I saw someone wondering what the person in the screenshot was trying to argue, so I posted the link.

indeepshadows · 2020-07-20T08:41:41+00:00

Yeah, that's the thing. The OP posted this on another sub, and it's sad how I don't see anyone condemning the opinions presented in that collage. I know not every trans person agrees with genital "preferences" being transphobic, but why the hell are they not making themselves heard? Could it be that'd be going against the popular opinion, after all?

indeepshadows · 2020-07-20T00:11:01+00:00

This is true. I've challenged a couple of (presumed) AGPs on why they won't include bi women in their dating pool, and the silence is deafening. One even deleted his post lol. Of course I know why that is, but I'd love to hear it from them.

indeepshadows