Fucking chat, how does it work?

PenseePansy · 2021-07-17T03:00:21+00:00

Talk about being hoist by your own petard... (or maybe your own... packer? phalloplasty/Frankenpeen?)

The only way it could be MORE ironic is if every single patron of these gay bars was... a "trans guy". Like, nuthin' but Gaydens as far as the eye can see. Not one actual penis to be found. Can you IMAGINE how upset these cosplaying women would be THEN? No one to "validate" their precious delusion! No one to PERV on! It'd be HELL! And yet... what could they really say? Without revealing that THEY know "trans guys" aren't really guys either? :)

PenseePansy · 2021-08-18T07:42:04+00:00

Ah, but what if the guy secretly identifies as a WOMAN, huh? HUH???

Wouldn't that make it STRAIGHT sex after all???

And... doesn't this mean that Ms. I-Identify-Therefore-I-Am just assumed someone's gender??? Trans-transphobe ahoy! :)

PenseePansy · 2020-10-06T18:21:19+00:00

So I guess that straight guys aren't heteronromative cuz THEY won't make the first move on a man EITHER!

PenseePansy · 2021-07-18T03:48:27+00:00

Exclusively opposite-sex-attracted = straight

Exclusively opposite-sex-attracted + dyed hair = QUEER!1!

PenseePansy · 2020-12-29T12:18:25+00:00

More like it's about trans people BEING dicks.

PenseePansy · 2021-08-08T13:36:40+00:00

"Hey baby, put your dick into my vagina but do it in a totally gay way!"

It's the inverse of "no homo!": "no hetero!"

PenseePansy · 2021-02-14T09:51:30+00:00

Nobody wants to have sex with you, Josephine. Just stop.

Not ~~tonight~~ EVER, Josephine!!!

Signed, The Entire Human Race

[with apologies to Napoleon Bonaparte]

PenseePansy · 2020-11-17T09:40:50+00:00

Of course they think actual gay men suck.

And of course I can't help but point out that yeah, actual gay men DO indeed suck... ACTUAL DICK.

PenseePansy · 2020-10-25T03:16:43+00:00

AKA "Just The Tip: Transbian Edition"

PenseePansy · 2022-09-23T19:14:33+00:00

Though unfortunately not my talent.

PenseePansy · 2021-12-25T18:48:19+00:00

As they say: there's a lot to unpack here... but let's just throw away the entire suitcase.

PenseePansy · 2021-11-29T05:18:15+00:00

Don't want to hear gay men say how sexually-unappealing they find your female anatomy? THEN STOP SHOVING IT IN THEIR GODDAMN FACE.

"Look, it's my favorite recipe: Tuna Salad Hot Fudge Sundae! Doesn't it look delicious? You wanna try it, right? C'mon, have some! Here's a NICE BIG HELPING. Open up! I just know you'll LOVE it!" [tries to ram spoonful into your unwilling mouth]

PenseePansy · 2021-08-24T20:55:25+00:00

GENIUS! :)

And then, just to rub salt in the (self-inflicted) wound, as soon as these transbians commence REEEE-in', be all like: "What? I thought you believed in TWAW and 'girldick'! Only a transphobe would think that this party was anything less than 100% lesbian! I certainly hope you aren't privileging CIS bodies over TRANS ones!!!"

PenseePansy · 2021-07-25T03:01:20+00:00

If one is to exclude non-binary men from lesbianism, they are endorsing in exorsexist behavior.

WTF is "exorsexist" behavior? I'm picturing something that involves brandishing a cross while yelling "the power of christ compels you!", rotating your head 360 degrees, and/or projectile-vomiting split pea soup.

PenseePansy · 2021-04-02T11:23:12+00:00

They totally do that. I've seen enough of them talk about their visits to their gynecologist.

I think that "transwomen" should be restricted to getting their frankenpussy care exclusively from those who IDENTIFY as gynecologists. As opposed to "cis gynecologists", who have, like, specialist medical training, and DEGREES, and stuff-- not what really counts: "gyno-feelz"! And if the trans say that such people aren't REAL gynos, why, they're hateful bigots guilty of... gynophobia! They OWE these transgynos the validation provided by getting their big ol' men-feet in those stirrups and submitting their stinkpockets to inspection! Otherwise they're saying that transgynos don't EXIST! REEEEE

PenseePansy · 2021-01-13T14:07:15+00:00

If cis women stop wearing make-up, I will never pass.

Oh, don't worry-- you wouldn't anyway! :)

Also: hear THAT, liberal/progressive/feminist trans-shills? THIS is what you're demanding: women MUST wear makeup CUZ THINK OF TEH MENZ!!!

So progressive! Much feminist!

PenseePansy · 2020-07-22T04:20:25+00:00

(Doc and/or nurse to new parents):

"Congratulations! It's a dudebro!"

PenseePansy · 2020-07-14T16:55:39+00:00

Why can't THEIR gender non-conforming friend Meredith Talusan (the VICE article's author) just lay them, then? Being in a non-exclusive relationship and all? Hey presto: problem solved! (Don't forget to "at least fuck them well", Merry!)

Oh right-- cuz when he (along with these friends) talks about who they hope to attract, notice how it's all "cis", all the time. Specifically, conventional "masc" straight or gay guys. Zero mention of anyone else. Like, oh, I dunno... trans people? Such as THEMSELVES?

So why's it only "TRANSPHOBIA!!!" when we eschew your undesirable ass?

PenseePansy · 2022-02-17T09:10:55+00:00

Hey, Einstein was there! In cat ears and a skirt that goes spinny!!!

And everybody (of course) clapped. When they weren't too busy MASSAGING EACH OTHER that is.

PenseePansy · 2022-02-17T09:08:56+00:00

PRESS X TO DOUBT

PenseePansy · 2021-12-25T18:44:49+00:00

homonormativity

Oh, you know-- the Homo Norm Nativity! With gay Baby Jesus and either Mary and Josephine, or Mario and Joseph (take your pick).

Or maybe it involves a dude named Norm. Somehow.

Also, am I the only one who originally read this as "hobonormativity"? Well, I guess that makes about as much sense!

PenseePansy · 2021-11-06T05:02:46+00:00

Oh, so there's somehow no difference between a dildo and a dick, huh?

Then why dontcha just go date a goddamn Fleshlight and leave lesbians the hell alone?

PenseePansy · 2021-07-16T11:33:27+00:00

Sounds like a bisexual ass to me.

Well, let's not forget that, THESE days, "full blown dyke" can perfectly well mean:

woman who's exclusively opposite-sex attracted
MAN who's exclusively opposite-sex attracted
man who's exclusively SAME-sex attracted (for hitherto-unknown levels of WTF-ery)

Plus, from what I've seen? Using the word "dyke"? Is something of a TQ+ specialty.

But, one's thing for sure: whether bisexual or not... they're an ASS, all right.

PenseePansy · 2020-09-06T23:58:03+00:00

There are lots of women out there that have dicks.

Yeah-- in the bedside drawer! Silicon/plastic ones! (Maybe glass and/or metal, if you wanna get fancy) Or in jars of formaldehyde! Plus moms with sons named Richard!

PenseePansy · 2022-04-10T05:50:02+00:00

Rather than having so many different flags for these ever-proliferating "genders" and "sexualities", I propose consolidating them all under a single flag, with the following design:

Field consisting of 7 horizontal lines: retina-searing highlighter-yellow (for incessant attention-seeking); dead dull gray (for the boredom they inspire); puce (for perversion); sickly green (for nausea); brown (for the shit they're full of); blue (for dangerhair); and a fess charged-- in the center and larger than any of the others-- of black (for the yawning empty void within them).
Charge (image surmounting the above): biohazard symbol (for what they represent to healthy organisms) in blood red.

Wave it with pride, fujoshis et al.! You're welcome :)

PenseePansy · 2021-09-21T17:08:17+00:00

Trans [sic] lation: "Is it possible for a man to get a woman pregnant?"

THREE GUESSES AND THE FIRST TWO DON'T COUNT

PenseePansy · 2021-08-26T00:49:58+00:00

lol and/or because he can barely use his vocal cords, lest those telltale male bass tones come through; i.e., he has a bad case of Michael Dorsey Voice:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HFtG9BPmJ9o

Now I wanna hear this dude's ultra-phony breathiness disappear when someone knocks on his bedroom door, and he unthinkingly responds with a natural baritone "WHAT???" that'd make the late Alan Rickman sound like the Bee Gees.

PenseePansy · 2021-06-20T06:46:29+00:00

Oh, so if the "cis" people he lusts after turn out to actually be "trans" when the clothes come off, and have genitals that are the opposite of what he'd been led to expect, ol' "Emerald-Rose" will just be cool with it, huh?

PRESS X TO DOUBT

PenseePansy · 2021-06-15T18:11:15+00:00

Suffice to say, trans women ~~who haven't had bottom surgery~~ are a ~~dick-loving~~ lesbian's ~~dream~~ nightmare

FIFY! :)

PenseePansy · 2021-05-04T11:23:21+00:00

Oh, and what about this dude himself? Is HE getting matches with other fem guys who are in drag on their profiles? PRESS X TO DOUBT

Funny how it's "masc-obsessed superficiality" when normal gay men are seeking each other... but not when the mutant-Barbie-Doll woman-'toon genderspeshul gay men are seeking them!

PenseePansy · 2021-04-12T14:10:29+00:00

Oh, why is it only "cis lesbians" mentioned as giving the "feminine penis" [insert retching noises here] a thumbs-up? What about the quoted "transbian" himself? Where's the glowing testimony about how much he's enjoyed the softness, texture, and "yes the mouthfeel" of "feminine penises" other than his own?

Cuz if it's SO womanly, great, and appealing to lesbians... you oughtta be all OVER that shit, dude :)

PenseePansy · 2021-01-24T10:01:19+00:00

I looked into the abyss...and the abyss looked straight into me...There isn't enough eyebleach in the known universe! The horror! The horror!

Nietzche at his most serial-killer-y + Heart of Darkness = Transbiansgonewild

Generations of readers have asked what so haunted Kurtz... NOW WE KNOW

PenseePansy · 2020-10-26T07:22:30+00:00

"All those damn psychiatrists trying to kill me, KILL me I tell you, by saying the voices in my head aren't real!

They genuinely want to DESTROY the delusional existence..."

PenseePansy · 2022-10-25T08:21:16+00:00

I was gonna say that the first part of the username ("annoying poof") checks out, then realized that-- with its display of the obligatory trans-homophobia-- so does the second!

Wonder how she'd react if a white chick like me donned blackface and sent her this version of her own tweet?:

Oh, you're a ~~man born with a dick~~ person born black? How... basic. You're doing Easy Mode ~~Masculinity~~ Blackness. Get on my level hun ✌️

And, to conclude with the eternal question: if she expects gay men to want pussy... why does SHE only seem to want dick? Which is the ONE AND ONLY THING that you'll ever have in common with gay men, lady.

PenseePansy · 2022-05-21T12:15:17+00:00

Maybe the T are mistaking all their endless surgeries (and the grotesque results) for war wounds?

PenseePansy · 2022-02-17T09:26:28+00:00

"Dear Penthouse: I never thought anything like this would happen to me..."

(AND IT DIDN'T)

PenseePansy · 2021-12-05T03:25:44+00:00

Think about what’s really preventing you from engaging with certain people.

Since they specifically mean "engaging sexually with certain people", how 'bout complete and utter lack of sexual attraction?

There, that was easy! :)

PenseePansy · 2021-10-29T01:51:22+00:00

And who also seems to be doing their best to approximate the intelligence level of a fern. (Though I guess maybe that's an insult to ferns.)

PenseePansy · 2021-06-20T06:14:31+00:00

Also wtf is girlflux? I'm getting too old for this insanity

I think that I was BORN too old for this insanity.

Also, "girlflux" (whatever the hell THAT is) reminds me of what "flux" used to mean, once upon a time... namely, dysentery. Come to think of it, this whole gender-plague might as well be bloody diarrhea; it's a sickness we need to cure, and is at least as gross.

PenseePansy · 2021-04-17T07:05:00+00:00

Is the experience of a black person different from that of Rachel Dolezal?

PenseePansy · 2021-02-08T05:35:48+00:00

What on earth does “the boyfriend experience” mean in—well, in any context really—but especially in the context of “I’m a woman into bdsm claiming to be a porn priest?”

Well, thanks to Steven Soderbergh, I know that "the girlfriend experience" is a service offered by some female prostitutes: acting as though they're in a romantic relationship with, rather than merely hired by, the customer. So I guess this is... for customers who want the illusion of a romantic relationship with a woman who thinks that she's a man? Two illusions/delusions for the price of one, then? Cuz why only be fooling yourself on a single level? Let's just pile 'em on! Maybe she could also identify as a cat, inanimate object, and "fae" while she's at it? (Or maybe that would cost extra?)

PenseePansy · 2020-10-07T11:14:40+00:00

Kinda think that the gay & lesbian response needs to be:

"My label, no matter WHAT it is, will always come down to the same thing: still not gonna fuck ya".

PenseePansy · 2020-09-25T00:58:44+00:00

Maybe we should start putting it about that women's genitals smell like Pine-Sol? So then the "transwomen" will hasten to claim, "Oh, me too! My girldick smells JUST like furniture polish!" and we can all laugh.

PenseePansy · 2022-04-08T10:28:24+00:00

People tend to look over [sic] just how much beauty plays into the acceptance of trans women.

THAT'S WHAT THE GODDAMN FEMALE GENDER-ROLE YOU INSIST ON "IDENTIFYING" WITH IS, YOU DUMB FUCK!!!

"Beauty"-- conforming to aesthetic standards; being attractive to men-- is CENTRAL to gender for women and girls. It's ultimately where our value lies. Whatever other qualities we have, whatever we may accomplish, we must, first and foremost, be beautiful. That the worst insult (according to gender-role rules) a woman can receive is "you're ugly" tells you all you need to know.

If you wanna be a "gender-woman", Mr. Ladyfeelz... THIS is what it looks like. So what the hell are you complaining about?

PenseePansy · 2022-01-27T06:09:00+00:00

Yeah, instead she's like all the other girls who aren't like other girls! Meaning obnoxious yet simultaneously boring af!

PenseePansy · 2021-05-13T15:56:37+00:00

Just look at the explosion of bisexuals.

Oh no! We already have scary levels of poverty and poor mental/physical health-- now we're EXPLODING, too???

Maybe, like so many things in movies that are prone to inexplicable detonation, we are (as per the trope) Made of Explodium?

https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MadeofExplodium

Guess the good lord took a likin' to us bisexuals (and made us up blow up real good).

PenseePansy · 2021-03-24T10:53:54+00:00

These people are twisting themselves into pretzels.

pretzel/pretzelself

PenseePansy · 2020-10-31T05:03:08+00:00

Somehow he made himself look even more like a guy than a girl.

While: LOL... also very much a case of "it's funny because it's true." Indeed. I've noticed PRECISELY this phenomenon on multiple occasions. Namely, that trying to look like the opposite sex... only succeeds in emphasizing your OWN.

Take men who are, in physical terms, naturally on the androgynous side: relatively small nose/jaw/brow; large eyes; fine eyebrows; little facial/body hair; slim; short; etc. If they're just being themselves, making no attempt to appear other than male... what stands out is everything that's exception-to-the-masculine-rule about them; the overall impression is of, if not femininity per se, being "feminine-leaning".

But as soon as they do the "I'm-a-LAY-DEE!" thing? It calls attention to... that Adam's apple. The squarish (and perhaps receding) hairline. The big chin. The thin lips. The too-large hands and feet. The waistless, hipless figure. And so on. And on, and on, and on...

Because, before? All these things FIT. They were a harmonious part of the whole. That whole being maleness. Instead of sounding one discordant note after another. And thus jarring the SHIT out of the audience.

And yet, if your goal is not to deny your sex, but rather to enhance it? This same principle can be your friend. Women and girls have used it that way for ages. When ultra-glamorous movie star Marlene Dietrich donned an elegant tux-and-tails complete with top hat (which basically qualified as drag back then), or Irish iconoclast-singer Sinead O'Connor shaved her head during the 1980s, it only served to highlight everything that made them womanly. A "male" (according to gender-role rules) haircut just threw into sharp relief how delicate Sinead's facial features were, what enormous eyes she had... in short, how feminine (and beautiful) she was.

Which, far from being disturbing, is often highly attractive. Because YOU AREN'T TRYING TO FOOL ANYONE. Including, perhaps most importantly... yourself.

PenseePansy · 2020-10-29T08:36:20+00:00

FtM: but...what about men that had lost their penises on car accidents, or intersex men

Am I the only one who, when they bust out the ol' lost-penis canard, can't help but think of a man looking around and saying in exasperation, "where the hell is it??? It was right HERE five minutes ago! OK, now if I were a penis... where would I be?" And maybe trying the Lost & Found desk?

Just me then? OK

And re: the intersex-men whataboutism... oh, people with DSD must love THIS, right? Being used as a human "gotcha!" (and by whiny rapists, no less). But, since you ~~won't stfu about it~~ asked, FtM: potentially attractive to gay men = intersex men who have male primary sex characteristics. The technical term for which is A DICK. Not to be confused with some Frankenpeen flesh-tube-sausage-thing that looks like it originated in a mad scientist's lab. People with DSD who are biologically male but don't have a dick, like those who've got CAIS (and appear female), need not apply. In other words: JUST LIKE "TRANSMEN". Put it another way: the ONLY bio-females in whom gay men could be sexually interested are the ones with DSD conditions like De la Chapelle Syndrome (aka XX Male Syndrome)... who, regardless of their chromosomes, appear male. Especially in the homegrown-dick department.

Cuz, FtMs: the yaoi ya love so much? It was created by, and for, women.

Gay men, by contrast, were not.

LEARN THE FUCKING DIFFERENCE ALREADY

PenseePansy · 2020-10-06T23:17:02+00:00

Gaydens

Chef's-kiss nickname for those deluded "muh manpussy!" straight gals! (And why DO they always seem to be "Aiden"? Or some mutation thereof? Or rhyming crap like Jayden/Kayden/etc.? Though "Mayden" is more like it!)

Any suggestions for a "transwoman" equivalent?

PenseePansy · 2020-10-05T01:15:27+00:00

What do you get for the lesbian who has everything? :)

PenseePansy · 2020-10-04T21:32:53+00:00

Again, why are AGP males "transbians" and this fujoshi girls only and I repeat, ONLY, obsessed with the only subset of the population with whom they have 0 chance with.

Cuz it's all about that sweet, sweet "validation" (a word we'll need to fumigate before ever using again) for them. Namely of their fantasy about being the opposite sex. So no one who could even potentially be attracted to their actual sex will do. Meaning that both heterosexuals and bisexuals are ruled out. These AGP men require lesbians, and these fujoshi girls require gay men, as "proof" of being perceived in accordance with their genderfeelz. Though of course all it's really "proof" of is their unabashed rapeyness. So lesbians and gay men are nothing more than props here.

My solution: since "transbians" claim that TWAW/"gay transmen" claim that TMAM, just get that all-important "validation" from each other ! Whaddaya need "cis" people for? After all, WE-- unlike you-- don't believe this genderfeelz bullshit! So put yer money (and girldick/boipussy) where your mouth is!

PenseePansy · 2020-09-14T21:15:15+00:00

Maybe tacos that identify as hot dogs & vice-versa?

They can market the former as "The Aiden", and the latter as "The Girl~~dick~~dog".

And refusing to eat 'em because you're vegetarian = BIGOT!

PenseePansy · 2020-08-29T11:45:39+00:00

Truly THE ETERNAL QUESTION...

Maybe girldick is sorta like Schrodinger's Cat? Cuz just as the cat is paradoxically both alive and dead, girldick is somehow both pussy AND dick! Plus its status is, like the kitty's, entirely determined by the observer. Relative to "transbians" (aside from its owner): dick! Relative to lesbians: pussy!

IT'S JUST SCIENCE/s (well, & a whole shitload of entitled fetishism)

PenseePansy · 2022-07-23T08:30:45+00:00

"Corporate needs you to find the differences between this picture and this picture."/"They're the same picture."

PenseePansy · 2022-05-17T06:07:16+00:00

RESISTANCE IS FUTILE 🤖

PenseePansy · 2022-02-17T09:11:54+00:00

He TOTALLY has a lesbian girlfriend in Canada!1!

PenseePansy · 2021-11-07T23:25:33+00:00

Yeah and how do they know his gender identity? Maybe he’s a closeted freeballing transbian lol

You jest, but honestly, this is what I always wonder-- how can the trans-proponents act as though everyone but THEM is automatically "cis"? What about self-ID? And the unparalleled horror that is "misgendering"? Didn't every single woman there just... assume her lust-objects' gender??? Ooh, the transphobes! REEEEE

Maybe that's how to end the Reign of Trans once and for all: simply make people like this live by their own rules. No more assuming anyone's gender; no more attraction based on biological sex. They have to act as though EVERYONE is a "gender special" until proven otherwise, with all the awkwardness and inconvenience that this entails, plus their own loss of status (to quote Syndrome in The Incredibles: "If everyone is special... then no one is."). And they'll be obliged to ignore biological sex in favor of "gender" when dating/mating-- it'll be trans4trans across the board! Transbians, get over your penis repulsion and shut up about "muh dysphoria": all that girldick ain't gonna suck itself!

Being forced to practice what they preach oughtta cure 'em of transgenderism right quick.

PenseePansy · 2021-08-09T15:12:53+00:00

it's same gender attraction.

Ah, yes-- a pink-wearing person's attraction to another pink-wearing person! The attraction of a person who likes monster trucks to another monster-truck-liker!

Hell, why do we even need PEOPLE involved, anyway? "The love that dares not speak its name" could now apparently be between two identical paint swatches!

Is anyone else beginning to suspect that this obsession with "gender" is at least sometimes a matter of... pathological prudishness? An attempt to, in effect, de-sexualize sexuality? Make it about disembodied shit like clothes and abstractions and fuckin' COLORS instead of, yanno, ew-y genitals? And the stuff you do with 'em? And the feelings associated with that? Which apparently these people are just too uncomfortable with?

The worst part, I think, is that they can't ADMIT their discomfort; they need to see themselves as proud sex-pozi sluts... and apparently redefining "sex" so that it's about the fake shit associated with sex (i.e., gender), rather than sex itself, is their way of doing this. So naturally biological sex has gotta go, too. Being inextricably linked with that gross FUCKING business and all.

PenseePansy · 2021-07-28T15:07:17+00:00

It's a whole thing. Prepare to roll your eyes so hard you will have a migraine.

https://www.reddit.com/r/FTMfemininity/

AKA Not Like Other Girls: The Subreddit!

PenseePansy · 2021-07-27T17:14:00+00:00

"I'm SPECIAL".

Uh-huh. You're not.

Hey, now!-- she is 'specially ANNOYING!

PenseePansy · 2021-05-04T14:20:26+00:00

Yeah, and wouldn't her "logic" lead to epic dumbassery on the order of... elderly-gender! redhead-gender! thin-gender! tall-gender! bald-gender!

I mean, gender (except in linguistics) is bullshit anyway, and not the basis for ANY sexual orientation... but since it's determined by one's sex, and there are only two of THOSE... how can there be any more genders than that?

PenseePansy · 2021-02-15T03:27:16+00:00

Hope ya tell your "transmen" patients this, Marci! "Oh, men don't have penises, silly! They have LARGE CLITORISES! That's what I'll be creating for you, Aiden-- just a big ol' clit! Wait, where are you going...?"

Also: wouldn't this mean that, if a clitoris qualifies as "large", it automatically has the capacity to urinate, ejaculate, and impregnate? So all women have to do is bombard themselves with enough 'roids, and hey! presto! But then why aren't all those Aidans who pine for a dick of their own availing themselves of this wonder?

I look forward to Scientific American henceforth discontinuing all use of the word "penis" in favor of "large clitoris" with lively anticipation.

PenseePansy · 2021-02-15T02:45:54+00:00

Clownfish fit this BS narative more than anything I've ever heard about seahorses

Well, while these trans-fanatics aren't actual clownfish, they sure have the "clown" part down, anyway...

PenseePansy · 2021-02-10T11:14:31+00:00

I liked it better as an old Monty Python skit:

"And Roger as Pip, the half-parrot, half-man, half-woman, three-quarters badger..."

PenseePansy · 2021-01-27T16:32:57+00:00

Oh god, such an embarrassment of riches! (And by "riches" I mean raw sewage.)

It's a toss-up between:

"TWAW and lesbians better agree by servicing my girldick or else! But I can't have sex with other transbians cuz Muh Dysphoria... somehow."
"Iran performs all those (forced, on SSA people) "trans" surgeries = LGBTQWTF ally!"
"Dudes getting boners from stuff like wearing women's clothes isn't SEXUAL, it's, um... "gender euphoria"! Yeah! They're just so, yanno, happy to be their true womanly selves! And that totally PROVES they're women, of course, since what woman hasn't felt the same way whenever she puts on her bra, amirite ladies?"
"TERFs just want to enforce restrictive old-fashioned gender roles! Also I knew I was REALLY a girl cuz I: liked pink/played with dolls/couldn't do math."
"Everyone must treat me as the sex corresponding to my "gender identity", lest I commit suicide! Also, did I mention that I'm TRANS? Which I am, by the way. Trans, that is. You know I'm trans, right? Trans, that's me! And don't you forget it! That, yanno, I'm trans! Just thought I'd remind you. Of my trans-ness. In case you couldn't tell. Cuz I'm TRANS, TRANS, TRAAAANS!!!"

PenseePansy · 2021-01-04T09:16:48+00:00

C'mon, this is possible!

... if one of a lesbian's friends is named Richard!

PenseePansy · 2020-11-06T03:50:24+00:00

Would you rather get fucked by a trans woman with her real dick or a trans man with a strap on?

I would rather that you, TRA gaybros-botherer, "get fucked"... in the non-literal (and non-fun) sense.

PenseePansy · 2020-10-26T03:56:15+00:00

Inclusiveness: Stutterer's Edition

PenseePansy · 2020-09-24T21:59:38+00:00

"New! Improved! Woke Homophobia^TM ! Now with the power of WHINING!"

At least Classic didn't include THAT. Or (god forbid) demanding to fuck us. Or (for that extra horror-movie touch)... REPLACE us.

PenseePansy · 2022-08-30T03:56:53+00:00

Oh the irony behind the comment about “cis” lesbians forgetting about trans lesbians.

If only they would ever LET YOU for ONE GODDAMN MINUTE

PenseePansy · 2022-05-22T10:57:38+00:00

Wait, this whackjob Strangio is claiming that she's not only a man, but a GAY man? When her significant other is, and moreover "identifies" as, a woman? (Yep: Kimberly Drew does indeed consider herself "cisgender", apparently.) Even by the T's several-sandwiches-short-of-a-picnic standards, how the hell does THAT compute?

Hey, maybe she's declaring herself a closet-case gay man! With Kimberly as her beard! Whom "Mr. Strangio" can't even bear to touch! Oh, well, THAT'S all right, then/s

PenseePansy · 2022-04-17T08:15:36+00:00

I mean, at one time? Before The Invasion of the Transmen began? No doubt. But now... why WOULDN'T straight guys use these apps? When they're CHOCK FULL of delusional straight girls just begging to be sexually exploited? All you've gotta do is feign "gayness" and talk some half-assed shit like, "bro, that 'bonus hole' of yours is so MANLY! Let's have some masc-to-masc missionary PIV! And you can give me a TOTALLY GAY blowjob! Right after I buttsecks ya in the most NON-HETERO way possible!" How else is a straight dude gonna get anal so easily? Like shooting the proverbial fish in a barrel...

PenseePansy · 2022-02-07T12:39:12+00:00

I'll take "Things No Woman Has Ever Said In The History of the World" for $500, Alex.

PenseePansy · 2022-01-19T00:18:22+00:00

There's always a but.

Or, as Game of Thrones put it: "You know, my brother once told me that nothing someone says before the word 'but' really counts."

PenseePansy · 2022-01-08T19:34:02+00:00

it doesn't offer the same threats.

Yeah... because it "offers" worse ones.

PenseePansy · 2021-10-31T21:41:17+00:00

I’m exclusively attracted to the immaterial ontological essence that exists in the plane of ideas, thanks

Oh good, then you'll be hounding THAT to service your girldick instead of us human beings! (Though I wouldn't be surprised if that immaterial ontological essence turns your gross entitled ass down, too.)

PenseePansy · 2021-10-28T15:23:42+00:00

LOL well, what have we here?

Fake af? Check!

Desperate for attention? (I'm ACE look at MEEEEE oh and buy my thoroughly-forgettable, tacky trash while you're at it!) Check!

Deliriously half-baked? (I'm TOTALLY uninterested in sex... AND also trying to embody sex with all my might!) Check, check, and double check!

So, yeah, I really DO think that this legit is what asexual (at least in its Trendy^TM form) looks like... just, yanno, not quite the way she intended :)

PenseePansy · 2021-10-22T05:02:48+00:00

So apparently he recognizes that sucking his dick is a quintessentially undesirable prospect! Exactly, dude... AND HOW

Possible rejoinder: "How 'bout you get your fellow trans people to suck it instead? Oh, right-- you guys scorn all junk that isn't "cis"! Well, then, you oughtta understand why EVERYBODY ELSE feels precisely the same way."

PenseePansy · 2021-10-15T04:40:48+00:00

Answer: they love it just as much as getting poked in the eye with a sharp stick!

PenseePansy · 2021-09-08T05:40:33+00:00

There was an support group on the college I study where their whole stick was to teach masculinity to FtMs.

Yes, really.

Ooh, I've gotta get in on this! "OK, bros, first lesson in Masculinity 101 is: give me your PIN number. Oh, that's a security risk, huh? Well BOO-FUCKIN'-HOO, ya little crybaby! Real men LIVE for risk! Next up: devote your ENTIRE LIFE to watching football, working on your car, and mowing the lawn. Do not, I repeat, do NOT leave your man-cave for ANYTHING, especially going to gay bars, clubs, or bathhouses. Got it? Finally, be the Strong and ESPECIALLY Silent type. Do NOT ever say ANOTHER FUCKING WORD. Not in spoken form, not in text, not in goddamn SEMAPHORE, not in interpretive dance. If silence is manly-- and it fucking well is-- be the MANLIEST MAN WHO EVER MANNED and keep your petulant whinings about "cis gay" dick to yourself. FOREVER."

Here, as they say, endeth the fuckin' lesson :)

PenseePansy · 2021-08-11T20:10:12+00:00

ikr? Their threats of suicide always make me wanna respond with: "promises, promises..." :)

PenseePansy · 2021-08-10T07:41:43+00:00

Unfortunately, the LGBTQ+ umbrella does not seem to want to let us out, lol. That is the real trouble. Save for a few of them like in this post. Hopefully the "ditch the LGB" sentiment catches on among TQ+ supporters... we are WAY better off not a part of this umbrella.

Maybe, given their hatred of us, we need to try some reverse psychology here? Or what TV Tropes has dubbed "Briar Patching"?:

https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BriarPatching

Us to TQWTF+: "please, PLEASE don't EXPEL US!!! Your rejection of our transphobic asses would be AGONY! We couldn't BEAR it! It'd be the WORST PUNISHMENT IMAGINABLE. How can you take the umbrella away from us TERFs? How can you be so CRUEL???" :)

PenseePansy · 2021-05-05T13:12:47+00:00

lol well what could be more feminine than THAT?

PenseePansy · 2021-03-19T12:23:35+00:00

Cuz not only are they unrepentant bullies... they are also colossal bores.

PenseePansy · 2021-03-12T07:49:22+00:00

It's either preventative trauma taken in controlled doses in a controlled environment, or the real thing...

Trans-vaccination, in other words! Teach their immune system to recognize the danger signs of anime avatars, cat ears, uwus, and the name Aiden!

PenseePansy · 2021-03-04T09:15:24+00:00

ones they forgot (at least for now...):

some lesbians aren't attracted to women
some lesbians are men who are only attracted to men
some lesbians are inanimate objects (igneous rocks, flyswatters, Subarus)
lesbians can be weather patterns, fonts, and colors (paint your kitchen a cheery "Lesbian Blue"!)

PenseePansy · 2021-03-04T02:09:10+00:00

I remember a post from a teenage boy a few years ago on AL about how he 'loved' lesbians and they were like: "maybe you're not actually a boy" 🤦🏻‍♀️

They need to start getting responses along the lines of, "maybe I'm a boy who's really a girl... who's really a boy." (Aka "I'm a woman inside... and she's a MAN inside.")

As well as: "have YOU considered that you might really be cis?"

PenseePansy · 2020-12-11T09:22:02+00:00

Pretending to be a gay man because you fetishize gay men, then dressing up in a caricature of womanhood... while being a woman.

I liked Victor/Victoria (1982)-- a straight woman pretending to be a gay man pretending to be a woman-- better when the comedy was intentional.

PenseePansy · 2020-12-06T05:18:02+00:00

I feel like a coffee!

PenseePansy · 2020-12-06T03:25:50+00:00

My self ID is as a divine right monarch.

I hereby decree that gender is bullshit. And since I am sovereign by the will of god... what I say goes.

There! Wasn't that easy?

PenseePansy · 2020-11-15T12:51:12+00:00

not everyone's sexuality is 'fluid'.

God how I hate hate hate this fuckin' term! It's like fingernails on a blackboard to me at this point! "Fluid sexuality" MY ASS! Sounds like ya wanna shag a can of Mountain Dew or something!

HOW is this not just plain ol' bisexuality? Of the kind where your attraction to each sex waxes & wanes? Either that or you're (probably) straight people so into trendy-wokesterism that even primal pants-feelings have gotta be politically-correct. SOMEHOW. It's like vegan cats: SJW genitals!

They're hellbent on making sexual orientation so complicated that it requires a flow chart. But how could it be? There are only two sexes, so the possibilities for attraction must be limited to either or both. Why do they have a problem with this? It's like trying to treat a board game as three-dimensional chess when it's really just Candy Land.

Do these types strike anyone else as real-life Mary Sues? Forever demanding the spotlight, insufferably-Special^TM in every way? They've even got the telltale Exotic Hair Color-itis!

PenseePansy · 2020-11-14T14:11:43+00:00

“That’s how you end up crying in the bathroom at the gay orgy”

And now I want this to be on the new season of "Archer" as a more-colorful alternative to their established catchphrase,"And THAT'S how you get ants!"

PenseePansy · 2020-11-11T09:13:32+00:00

How many more kids/teens will join in on the fad after that week I wonder?

And can "weeks" celebrating similar youth fads be far behind?

Anorexia Week! Bulemia Week! Cutting Week! Eating Tide Pods Week!

PenseePansy · 2020-11-10T13:45:43+00:00

If only all these "woman-penises" could encounter a vagina that has teeth!

PenseePansy · 2020-09-09T11:30:03+00:00

Let us know what we've missed!

Reality.

PenseePansy · 2020-08-29T10:04:34+00:00

If you have the gall to say things like "gay men that don't want vagina are transphobic," you're a homophobe.

Gay men who don't want vagina aren't transphobic, they're... GAY MEN!

It's just definitional!

PenseePansy · 2020-08-03T11:41:53+00:00

Stealing this!

I am also rather partial to the term "genderjihadis".

PenseePansy · 2020-07-12T23:50:10+00:00

Beneath the clownfish banner, clad in their fearsome combat uniform of programmer socks, chokers, and catgirl-ears, with a bloodcurdling battle-cry of "REEEEEEEEE"

PenseePansy