Why can’t my famous gender non-conforming friends get laid?

submitted by ChunkeeguyTeam T*RF Fuck Yeah from (vice.com)

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[–]NutterButterFlutterStill waving into the void[M] [score hidden] stickied comment (0 children)

Archive, if anyone doesn't want to give clicks to Vice: https://archive.vn/uFL9m

[–]materialrealityplz 49 insightful - 7 fun49 insightful - 6 fun50 insightful - 7 fun -  (1 child)

They look like so much work to date, and like all you'd ever talk about is their identity.

They also don't just dress however they want and wear whatever make-up, it's wrapped up in being "trans" or non-binary to them. Like how fucking exhausting to deal with someone like that.

[–]Feather 25 insightful - 3 fun25 insightful - 2 fun26 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

It's also very creepy how the article implies that being "famous" means people should want to put out for you.

[–]slushpilot 42 insightful - 4 fun42 insightful - 3 fun43 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

It's funny how they call that gender non-conforming when they are actively and purposefully performing cross-gender stereotypes. I'd rather be with someone who thinks "I don't care about gender, let's do something fun instead", rather than someone who's all wrapped up in pronouns, etc. Who wants to deal with that kind of solipsism & narcissism?

[–]RedEyedWarriorGay | Male | 🇮🇪 Irish 🇮🇪 | Antineoliberal | Cocks are Compulsory 38 insightful - 12 fun38 insightful - 11 fun39 insightful - 12 fun -  (1 child)

Oh, they can get laid. They just have to stop being non-binary and develop a personality that isn't repulsive.

[–]LiterallyawomanTERF IRL 6 insightful - 5 fun6 insightful - 4 fun7 insightful - 5 fun -  (0 children)

Or not wear bright jarring lipstick that washes out their face just sayin

[–]PenseePansyBio-Sex or Bust 38 insightful - 12 fun38 insightful - 11 fun39 insightful - 12 fun -  (1 child)

Why can't THEIR gender non-conforming friend Meredith Talusan (the VICE article's author) just lay them, then? Being in a non-exclusive relationship and all? Hey presto: problem solved! (Don't forget to "at least fuck them well", Merry!)

Oh right-- cuz when he (along with these friends) talks about who they hope to attract, notice how it's all "cis", all the time. Specifically, conventional "masc" straight or gay guys. Zero mention of anyone else. Like, oh, I dunno... trans people? Such as THEMSELVES?

So why's it only "TRANSPHOBIA!!!" when we eschew your undesirable ass?

[–]lairacunda 15 insightful - 5 fun15 insightful - 4 fun16 insightful - 5 fun -  (0 children)

Because they're not attracted to each other either.

[–]JulienMayfair 36 insightful - 6 fun36 insightful - 5 fun37 insightful - 6 fun -  (0 children)

I know some people who know Tobia, and they are pretty unanimous in private that he's simply a gay men who dresses in women's clothes for attention. He's been writing the same pity-me piece about why people won't date him since he was in college.

[–]ThrowMeAway2879 32 insightful - 14 fun32 insightful - 13 fun33 insightful - 14 fun -  (2 children)

Oldie but Goldie.

Scroll down the article for a delightful picture of the trio. The article's title question is thus answered.

Spoiler alert: People are on average not attracted to men or women whose outward appearance alone already screams "insufferable, high-maintenance twat".

[–]ChunkeeguyTeam T*RF Fuck Yeah[S] 8 insightful - 3 fun8 insightful - 2 fun9 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

I think you’ve just created a new gender identity!

[–]PainfulTruthsMatter 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

B-b-but I was told being trans makes you stunning and special and brave and therefore automatically fuckable by all. It can't possibly be my fault I'm not being validated by society!

[–]indeepshadowsBi woman 29 insightful - 4 fun29 insightful - 3 fun30 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

This annoys me so much. Welcome to the real world, people. You'll find society won't bend over backwards for your delusions. Also, dating someone with weird pronouns sounds like exhausting brain gymnastics.

[–]haveanicedaytoo💗💜💙 25 insightful - 3 fun25 insightful - 2 fun26 insightful - 3 fun -  (1 child)

Why don't these enbiephobe transphobes just date each other? Obviously they each have delightful personalities and are so attractive on the inside, so what is the problem? Ah... Yes, I know what it is. They all have a gender preference/gender fetish. Like... Nobody is forcing them to have sex with anyone or whatever but they really have to unpack this problematic shit and sit down and analyze why they think it's okay to discriminate against potential love interests because of gender, you know? That's so toxic.

All kidding aside, did any other women feel a sense of relief to find out that these three Cracker Jack prizes are only attracted to men?

[–]indeepshadowsBi woman 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah, not going to lie, it's a relief they're not (theoretically) coming after me, hahah. But I do feel bad for my gay and bi brothers who are socially pressured into faking attraction toward individuals they're not even allowed to call men.

And hell yes, they should just date each other if they're so desirable and lovely, but we all know they have their own preferences... something they're allowed to have, when we're not even allowed our orientations.

[–]PlayCardsNotPeople 17 insightful - 5 fun17 insightful - 4 fun18 insightful - 5 fun -  (15 children)

This reminded me of something that happened a while back.
I was out with a friend and we ended up chatting with this couple - a trans woman and wife, who were from another country.
Later we all went to a gay / lesbian bar and so many gay guys were hitting on this trans woman.
Can anyone explain to me what that's about?

[–]szalinskikidproblematic androphile 23 insightful - 1 fun23 insightful - 0 fun24 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Since trans women are male and no amount of make-up will change that, it's objectively normal for a gay man to be attracted to one. If they can ignore the plethora of mental illnesses that come attached with many T and gender identity focused individuals that is. I personally can't relate, but it makes sense that gender identity is irrelevant when it comes to sexual orientation. Another fun fact: for decades, transsexuals/transvestites were mostly gay men. They didn't demand to be regarded as women, and they were just a regular part of the gay community. It's not a new thing that gay men frequently dated transsexual men (NOT "trans men"). It also depends on how far the trans woman has transitioned, I guess. Is "she" just wearing a wig, or did "she" have a sex change? There are also many trans identified females who just look like butch lesbians and their identity alone doesn't remove them from a lesbian's dating pool, either. Then there are also fetishists who like gender bending/role reversal stuff, for lots of reasons. They might not even be gay and just hang out it those clubs in order to date trans women specifically.

[–]PlayCardsNotPeople 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

She had a pretty cool sort of rock 'n roll vibe, passing from a distance. Had transitioned a long time ago, no wigs were involved.
The historical aspect is a good point, that does explain stuff. Nobody involved was under 40, lol.

[–]ghostraider 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

As a somewhat older lesbian, trans men where quite common in our places too. You would have just butches and then trans men, meaning they had medically transition up to some point. I remember seeing "complains" in twitter from 5yr ago, when all this movement was starting to go mainstream, of trans males complaining lesbians would accept females transing in their spaces lol.

[–]RedEyedWarriorGay | Male | 🇮🇪 Irish 🇮🇪 | Antineoliberal | Cocks are Compulsory 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

How far has this trans woman gone towards looking like a woman?

[–]PlayCardsNotPeople 10 insightful - 2 fun10 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

I dunno. On a scale of 1-10, maybe an 8?
The reason we went to talk to them, was because in the first bar we were in, my friend spotted them and thought they were lesbians. As soon as you were face to face though, there was no doubt.

[–]RedEyedWarriorGay | Male | 🇮🇪 Irish 🇮🇪 | Antineoliberal | Cocks are Compulsory 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

By 8 you mean, still looks like a man up close?

Even if he transitions as far as he can, a transwoman can still be spotted by looking at the jaw or the hands. Or listen to his voice.

[–]PlayCardsNotPeople 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

From across the room you couldn't tell, but up close there was no doubt.
Most transwomen, I'd say you can spot from across the room, so I'd give that an 8.

[–]LiterallyawomanTERF IRL 9 insightful - 2 fun9 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 2 fun -  (6 children)

Gay men are attracted to men even ones with “girl-dick” because they’re meeeeeeen

[–]PlayCardsNotPeople 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

Right, but I've never seen an actual gay man get that much attention in a gay bar.

[–]LiterallyawomanTERF IRL 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Do you think they perceived them as doing drag and just found them attractive? If this person was trans but you can tell they’re uh, born male, men who like men will still find them attractive. Look at all the gay relationships in Anne Rice novels for example-men loving femme or beautiful men/vampires

[–]PlayCardsNotPeople 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

No idea what they thought, that's why I asked here, because it had been puzzling me.

[–]Criticallacitirc 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Sometimes back when I would bring a girl with me to gay bars, I would find the girl would get a lot of attention. I never quite figured out what the game was. I think its easier for them to go up to a girl , then hope they get attention from the guy(s) in the group. The dynamics of the way gay men interact with each other is all sorts of fucked up.

[–]PlayCardsNotPeople 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Weird. I love dancing in a gay bar full of dudes, cause I'm completely invisible, because, I'm not a dude.
It's not that they are ignoring me, it's that as far they are concerned, I don't exist. And the music's decent :)

[–]Veneficca 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Agree. I get a lot of attention from men in gay bars - some are "straight" guys taking their first steps out of the closet, and then reverting to what they know. But most are out guys who are hoping to meet my cute male friends by chatting me up.

[–]lairacunda 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Working for woke points.

[–]CleverNickName 17 insightful - 3 fun17 insightful - 2 fun18 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

Whoa, no, stop, what. NOPE. That's NOT Gender Non-Comformity!

Who the fuck does he (she? I lost track) think he is? Non-binaries are defined by the binaries, and by how to conform to them - some actual (I wish there was a better word) GNCs are roped into calling themselves NB, and I can't blame them, it's easier. Transgendered people are the height of gender-conformity.

Nothing makes me madder than this constant deliberate misuse of language to muddy the waters and confuse everyone who isn't deeply familiar with the trans-swamp. You couldn't pick me out of a small crowd of men and I'd still be a lot more gender-non-conforming than those people.

[–]LiterallyawomanTERF IRL 16 insightful - 5 fun16 insightful - 4 fun17 insightful - 5 fun -  (1 child)

Can you imagine any other person without a trans complex complaining about not getting dates? They’d be massacred and told of all their faults or lectured on what to work on-yet these bozos get to play victim as if it’s societies fault they’re undesirable. The sheer entitlement.

It reminds me of running into an old classmate after years who wasted no time asking if I had any single girlfriends and listed off his “attributes” like being fit, owning a house, car, stable job...this guy had an awful personality and I wasn’t surprised he was unable to date because his personality was atrocious! But to him he had hit all the requirements to be a desirable date and felt cheated by the world for not being handed a hot wife just for existing.

[–]SpatOuttheKoolaid 11 insightful - 3 fun11 insightful - 2 fun12 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

A lot of transbian arguments are indistinguishable from straight male incel arguments, other than it's somehow socially acceptable to target lesbians but not straight women. I've noticed a lot of my straight women friends ranting about terfs, TWAW no debate and would never ever ever push another straight/bi woman to date an incel. But if lesbians don't accept the girldick--well there's nothing more bigoted than that!

It is narcissism.

[–]filbs111 14 insightful - 8 fun14 insightful - 7 fun15 insightful - 8 fun -  (0 children)

The answer is given in image form. On the bright side, I'm sure they love themselves.

[–]Criticallacitirc 16 insightful - 1 fun16 insightful - 0 fun17 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

Right or wrong the gay male community is very appearance based. These people are just average looking. So they started dressing outrageous to get attention. They got the attention but are disappointed the attention doesn't translate into sex. Just another form of incels.

Also I have a very hard time believing the one in the middle is the one getting laid all of the time.

[–]lairacunda 8 insightful - 7 fun8 insightful - 6 fun9 insightful - 7 fun -  (3 children)

They're not "average" looking. They're hilarious looking.

[–]Criticallacitirc 6 insightful - 2 fun6 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

If you took away the make up & clothes...they'd be average

[–]lairacunda 8 insightful - 3 fun8 insightful - 2 fun9 insightful - 3 fun -  (1 child)

Right, it's definitely the outfits that make them look nuts and their beliefs that make them be nuts.

[–]PainfulTruthsMatter 4 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

They always find it shocking that people who dress in a way that screams "I HAVE PROBLEMS" are kept at a distance.

[–][deleted] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Also I have a very hard time believing the one in the middle is the one getting laid all of the time.

They complain one of them looked 'cis,' and when I got to the photo, I was genuinely perplexed which one it was supposed to be.

[–]Shinjin_NanaNopes faster than an Aeldari Jetbike 12 insightful - 3 fun12 insightful - 2 fun13 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

They sound insufferable just calling themselves gender non-conforming.

If you want to do emotional labor, adopt an old sick dog instead. At least in the end you'll have a companion.

[–]Ladis_Wascheharuum 6 insightful - 13 fun6 insightful - 12 fun7 insightful - 13 fun -  (3 children)

In the meantime, Jacob and I both OMG'd over our new favourite word—femmezone—as I imagined saying it with three syllables, fe-me-zone, like Amazon. That kind of wit and creativity is exactly how so many of us trans kids have trained ourselves to combat rejection.

Jesus Christ.

[–]PlayCardsNotPeople 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Agreed. Hard eye roll.

[–]PainfulTruthsMatter 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Cuh-ringe.

[–]buttbuttinator 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

I think

I told a literature grad student that if we gandered at each other maybe one of us would end up getting goosed, the kind of nerdy wordplay I sensed he'd like. I was off to a good start, and passed the phone around to show them how text flirtation was done.

is even worse.

[–]fuck_reddit 9 insightful - 6 fun9 insightful - 5 fun10 insightful - 6 fun -  (0 children)

"It had never occurred to me that you would have to put 'man' as your gender to see gay men" lol what??? Who assumes you can put "woman" and have gay guys pop up ON A DATING APP. Like that's the most BASIC function of a dating app...sorting who people are compatible with by sexuality and sex...

[–]poisona7het ally 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Mix and matching loud prints isn't gender non-conforming? You can wear a nice dress without acting like a desperate incel. None of these men are even legitimately ugly, but they come off as extremely deranged and self-absorbed.

[–]ChunkeeguyTeam T*RF Fuck Yeah[S] 4 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

And very very unsexy

[–]fuck_reddit 7 insightful - 5 fun7 insightful - 4 fun8 insightful - 5 fun -  (0 children)

The author must be blind...

[–]fuck_reddit 8 insightful - 3 fun8 insightful - 2 fun9 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

What I love about the picture at the end on the dating app is that the user can pick a gender from a 3D graph of genders, but when they pick who they're attracted to, it's men, women, or some measure of both... no 3D graph of who they're into...

[–]BenderRodriguez 6 insightful - 6 fun6 insightful - 5 fun7 insightful - 6 fun -  (0 children)

This is probably my favorite NB/incel article of all time.

[–]quickbeam 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

One reason I wouldn't date someone is if I suspected screen caps of our private exchanges would be shared online as political fodder. Man I feel sorry for young people in the dating scene. Also - everyone gets rejected!!! I have cis straight female friends who look decent and have great personalities who didn't date seriously until they were in their 30's! It worked out for them, somehow, despite not having think pieces written about their dating woes.

[–]chazzstrong 4 insightful - 5 fun4 insightful - 4 fun5 insightful - 5 fun -  (0 children)

I mean, if that's them in the picture, I may have an answer for you...

[–][deleted] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Because they are annoying

[–]Bogos 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

“Gender non-conforming femmes” isn’t that an oxymoron?

[–]Q-Continuum-kin 4 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

I tried reading this but got lost with the "they" spam. Normally I'm ok with letting them have "they" but the entire article was about 2 people and it was ridiculous trying to decipher if the article was referring to 1 or both.

Commenting on the pictures, the guy on the left just looks like a guy wearing 80s leggings. The middle one I guess is somewhat passing but insists on looking like Betelgeuse. The guy on the right also looks completely male but in a dress. I hate this whole feigned confusion about why straight guys would not respond when they both probably looked more masculine than the straight guys they were messaging.

[–]KrunchKangaroo 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Plenty of pretty/fishy drag queens and feminine gay men that look like James Charles get play. Despite the “no fems” stuff (not judging btw) there are lots of gay, bi, and curious men out there looking for beautiful GNC boys. Alok and his crew get passed over because they look straight busted. They look like IRL versions of One Piece’s “Okama”

[–]Canardyyy 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I could not finish that article. “Woe is me, take pity of my dating life, I can’t seem to get laid” while wearing god knows what.

[–]Seahorse 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Nah.... for real I'm starting to believe the conspiracies about the trans movement being Russia or China or whatever.

The article and how it's written and then seeing what they actually look like 🤣

It reads like 2020 Regina George if she was non binary.

Imagine slogging away as a journalist and then seeing these clowns get screentime for this slop.

[–]Eurowoman24 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

oh wait teacher!teacher! I KNOWWWW

[–]Revision10Just a guy 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

So the article validates the virtue-signalling of the SJW/TRA crowd.
As sometimes gets said in AskGayBros "Let's see what their tinder matched actually say" in response to the guys who clamor to be the whiteknight