300 years on, will thousands of women burned as witches finally get justice?
6 months ago by lairacunda to /s/GenderCritical from (theguardian.com)
What's wrong with being a gold star lesbian? by Gynephile in Lesbians
[–]lairacunda 30 insightful - 5 fun30 insightful - 4 fun31 insightful - 4 fun31 insightful - 5 fun - 7 months ago (0 children)
Nope. GoldStars are awesome!
FIRE RELIEF for Lesbian Womyn of Southern Oregon by lairacunda in Lesbians
[–]lairacunda[S] 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun - 7 months ago (0 children)
I'm just passing it along but, it's not ironic. It's an alternate niche spelling. Anyway, it would be a shame if anyone decided not to support lesbians who've lost their homes due to the spelling of one word.
[–]lairacunda[S] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun - 7 months ago* (0 children)
The fires in California, Oregon and Washington states have devastated many communities on the West Coast, including lesbian communities in rural, wooded areas. This GoFundMe for Wild Womyn of Rogue Valley will go to support lesbains who have been directly impacted by the fires. Please share this link.
To donate outside of the gofundme you can make checks payable to "Wild Womyn of Rogue Valley" and send to:
PO Box 4383
Medford, OR 97501
Thank you for your support.
FIRE RELIEF for Lesbian Womyn of Southern Oregon
7 months ago by lairacunda to /s/Lesbians from (gofundme.com)
Losing respect for people by Barber_Acrobatic in GenderCritical
[–]lairacunda 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun - 7 months ago (0 children)
Not Hannah! Well she's smart so. maybe she'll snap out of it.
[–]lairacunda 6 insightful - 3 fun6 insightful - 2 fun7 insightful - 2 fun7 insightful - 3 fun - 7 months ago (0 children)
I would actually encourage them to buy more books to burn. New ones of course.
Women Got ‘Married’ Long Before Gay Marriage - Or, Dykes of Yore
7 months ago by lairacunda to /s/Lesbians from (history.com)
Where do I go to safely find GC community in real life? by watermelonsappho in GenderCritical
[–]lairacunda 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun - 7 months ago (0 children)
I don't have any good advice that isn't also dangerous. If you become the woman everyone knows is a TERF, you will lose your community. The only upside is that like-minded women may (or not) approach you. If you meet people in your area online and vet them well, you may be able to meet women IRL. I would not go meet them alone the first time. I've heard some people say that they confided in one dear friend who didn't necessarily ditch them. Have also heard of this backfiring. Your best IRL options if Covid ever lifts, might be to find the music festivals.
Hey! I don't know If you would be interested, but... by PM_Me_Your_Tits_Ladi in GenderCritical
[–]lairacunda 10 insightful - 3 fun10 insightful - 2 fun11 insightful - 2 fun11 insightful - 3 fun - 7 months ago (0 children)
So if they can identify as "women" what makes you think they can't identify as "cis"?
I don't like that the name validates their fake terminology. My $.02.
Americans: If you have been affected by the Reddit banning wave, the FCC would like to hear from you by SanityIsGC in GenderCritical
Amy Goodman know how to pick her battles. At the end of the day she's a chickenshit when it comes to trans. It's not possible that she doesn't understand the issues or the implications. She knows that if she ever pronounced herself publicly as GC, if indeed she is, she would be deluged with an onslaught of hate, she would be deplatformed and would lose funding, position and status. She would probably lose her pension as well since KPFA is basically some type of collective. In short her entire community would turn against her. I held hope that she's biding her time but now I'm not so sure. There would have to be a massive change of opinion on the so-called left for AG to actually do any real reporting on trans.
A VERY long list of U.S. politicians, donors and political figures who have been arrested and charged with child rape, abuse, pornography or trafficking in the last few years... - from r/PedoGate by lairacunda in GenderCritical
[–]lairacunda[S] 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun - 7 months ago (0 children)
There's more, though with some overlap.
A VERY long list of U.S. politicians, donors and political figures who have been arrested and charged with child rape, abuse, pornography or trafficking in the last few years... - from r/PedoGate
7 months ago by lairacunda to /s/GenderCritical from (archive.vn)
r/periods got brigaded today. how long till they go the way of r/pcos? by spicyramen in GenderCritical
Serious question.Could the LGB community get free from harassment from trans people by asserting their "cis" attractions to be fetishes? by SanityIsGC in GenderCritical
[–]lairacunda 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun - 7 months ago (0 children)
Would it were that simple!
[–]lairacunda 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun - 7 months ago (0 children)
Depends. Gay men can and do establish boundaries and gay spaces that are respected. In theory they could get sued for discrimination, in the US anyway, but the truth is they rarely do. Female socialization is such that those 'exclusionary" policies are rarely challenged and most women (except traditionally, faghags - straight women who like gay men) aren't going to go to the club or bar and make a nuisance of themselves. Gay and Bi men who only want to be around other men don't usually have a problem finding them.
Lesbians on the other hand are basically shit out of luck. Women who try to establish women-only clubs will probably get sued. Announcing or publicizing events acts like a beacon for males. Men can and do bully themselves into spaces or else they try to sneak in. For them it's one big game of boys going where they are told not to go. Female socialization makes it difficult for many women to argue and stand our ground. Physical differences in strength and build make it improbable the interloper will be ejected. On top of that there is a never-ending parade of handmaidens willing to bring in their "girlfriend". There are also practically NO lesbian (or even just women-only) spaces or events left anywhere for lesbians to enjoy or males to invade. The current lesbian bumper-crop has no conception of what it means to be in women-only environments.
My report from London today by CastleHoward in GenderCritical
[–]lairacunda 16 insightful - 14 fun16 insightful - 13 fun17 insightful - 13 fun17 insightful - 14 fun - 7 months ago (0 children)
"I can't wait to see the backside of this whole woman-hating movement..."
Really? I just see asses all over the place.
How do I change the banner on my sub with a picture?
7 months ago by lairacunda to /s/help from (self.help)
How straight women react to butches / women they clock as lesbians by Innisfree in Lesbians
Butch is a woman who doesn't perform the gender stereotypes allotted to females.
[–]lairacunda 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun - 7 months ago (0 children)
I had one male friend for a few years. Can't remember now why I thought it was a good idea. Maybe because he was gay and pretty innocuous and we had some things in common. The thing I started to notice at some point was that my expectations of him were a lot lower than for women. He mostly used me for emotional support when things got rough for him. He was nice but bland.
I know, isn't that hilarious? I look and laugh when that happens.
[–]lairacunda 7 insightful - 2 fun7 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 2 fun - 7 months ago (0 children)
I'm not sure if this is true or not but here's a theory.
Lesbians, especially life-long lesbians, are a lot less guarded with women than straight women would be. So there we are, having a relaxed, casual conversation or small talk with another woman and of course we get clocked. The straight woman interprets the relaxed manner as a... testing of the waters on our part. They don't understand that there's nothing more to it and it's just the way we are.
Also, a lot of straight women won't do anything without first checking in with their owner that's why every other word is "my husband/boyfriend". They could set the terms of their lives but instead they let the man do it for them.
TiF is really pleased to get mistaken for a man by doctors. When TiF is nearly killed because doctors think she's a man it's all their fault. by jet199 in GenderCritical
[–]lairacunda 6 insightful - 3 fun6 insightful - 2 fun7 insightful - 2 fun7 insightful - 3 fun - 8 months ago (0 children)
This is eugenics.
[–]lairacunda 7 insightful - 2 fun7 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 2 fun - 8 months ago (0 children)
I know of one who died a few months ago, friend of a friend. Massive cancer and organ failure. Early 50s. Too young in my opinion.
[–]lairacunda 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun - 8 months ago (0 children)
Listen, I'm not sure what point you're trying to make with this non-sequitur. We were talking about people transing their animals and giving them a fictional gender-identity. Then you come out of RIGHT field with "some silly people claim their animals are same-sex attracted". So just clarify, TRANS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH LGB. SSA is a real thing, it doesn't need props or medicalization or invented "identities". Please stop being such a homophobe. Homophobia like yours makes gullible and vulnerable people want to opt out of their biological sex.
[–]lairacunda 19 insightful - 1 fun19 insightful - 0 fun20 insightful - 0 fun20 insightful - 1 fun - 8 months ago (0 children)
Males should be barred from gynecology, among other professions.
[–]lairacunda 6 insightful - 6 fun6 insightful - 5 fun7 insightful - 5 fun7 insightful - 6 fun - 8 months ago (0 children)
I’ve never had my vet ask me what gender my dog is.
I’ve never had my vet ask me what gender my dog is.
That's only because people haven't started transing their dogs yet. Give it a couple of years.
[–]lairacunda 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun - 8 months ago (0 children)
Well, no. That would involve facing reality at least once a year.
[–]lairacunda 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun - 8 months ago (0 children)
Of course some would wonder if the kidney failure and high rates of cancer could have any relation to hormone "therapy" and medicalization.
I just got broken up with because my girlfriend decided she is trans. by TarshishJupiter in GenderCritical
I know it's hard but understand she's doing you a favor. What would it be like to be in a relationship with her demanding validation for her delusion, knowing the T was destroying her and setting her up for a lifetime of medical complications? And all the while having to keep silent about what you know? Not hat it's worth anything but, she'll remember you and rue the day she dumped you when she's stone-cold sober in a few years.
For something positive - shall we share our own empowering moments as WOMEN? by vitunrotta in GenderCritical
And emotional support for every basket case who wants to bounce his insecurities off you and get an ego boost.
Being associated with radical feminism is dragging this movement down. by Astrid2448 in LGBDropTheT
I did not call you a "handmaiden". I even said "maybe you're not". To clarify, people use words and depending on how they use them and what they say, other people will assume where they are coming from. That's all. This isn't personal. Learn or don't learn, whatever you want.
Unlikely Ally by SterlingRoark in GenderCritical
[–]lairacunda 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun - 8 months ago (0 children)
The men paying child support have sired an offspring... probably consensually and intentionally.
The mass-downvoting of what? r/GC was completely swamped by trolls 24/7. The sub got brigaded pretty much everyday. And yes, posts and comments that didn't fit the intention and vision of the sub, its purpose, got removed. Just like if someone comes here to argue that we're 'sinful' or 'abominations, the mods would probably show them the door. If you show up at a radfem sub arguing pro-porn, pro-paedophilia, pro-prostitution, no one owes you an explanation or the time of day. You should get deleted and kicked out because the purpose of the sub is women's liberation and not free-for-all debate.
[–]lairacunda 5 insightful - 3 fun5 insightful - 2 fun6 insightful - 2 fun6 insightful - 3 fun - 8 months ago (0 children)
No, I was replying to you. But you may be correct that I did not get the whole picture or got the wrong one. Specifically, "We can't really exclude LGB who are radfem from s/LGBdroptheT" and "... be more clear about our rules ... misandry is not allowed." In my experience, people who talk about misandry are MRAs, misogynists and handmaidens. Maybe you're not but if you use their vocabulary, you're going to get classified. No two ways about it.
[–]lairacunda 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun - 8 months ago (0 children)
Sadly you are correct about a lot of this. The thing with r/GC is that it had non-stop trolling. Banning 100+ trolls in any 24 hour period was typical. The sub was intended as, and was, a radfem sub. But there was a constant influx of newbies who were peaking and were coming in from all types of backgrounds. The men would usually say something stupid and get banned right away. The women who said something stupid were mostly engaged with. Why? Because radical feminism is for women. So inevitably there was a learning curve.
s/GC is actually a different animal. It's a different modcrew, as far as I can tell. There seems to be way less trolling but also fewer actual radical feminists. And that's just my impression, I could be wrong. The comments seem a bit more mainstream so some homophobia slipping through the cracks wouldn't surprise me. On r/GC, homophobia would get smacked down swiftly but the sheer volume of fucked-up comments would be difficult to keep up with.
[–]lairacunda 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun - 8 months ago (0 children)
Cordelia Fine wrote a really good book on this. My takeaway was that brains have plasticity and are shaped by the person's experiences, thoughts, emotions, etc. But these are highly gendered experiences, thoughts, emotions, etc., because the people having them are in sexed bodies whose experiences of life are different. So it's not about the denial of science, it's about the nuances that people invested in pink and blue brains won't allow for. For example, out of Fine's book, Delusions of Gender, women do just as well and even better in math when they go to all-female schools, take tests in all-female environments, when the tester does not prime them for failure by remarking that males do better on that test. That's the interesting backdrop to STEM which is not universally male-dominated. Nope, in some countries there are more women than men in the sciences, just like in India construction is a female occupation.
I'm guessing the thing you refer to as feminism is liberal feminism which isn't really feminism at all.
[–]lairacunda 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun - 8 months ago (0 children)
I actually agree with you.
[–]lairacunda 3 insightful - 3 fun3 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 3 fun - 8 months ago (0 children)
I think you need to differentiate a few things. Anyone can be gender critical (gc). It may have started with radical feminism but it has much broader appeal. There are definitely right-wingers who are gc and there are right-wing women who are gc but not radical feminist. I haven't run into too many homophobic right-wingers or religious extremists at r/GenderCritical or s/GenderCritical because, guess what? Homophobic bigots tend to get shut down or banned. GC on this site set its settings to opt out of the general feed thus allowing bans for CMV posts and challenges. I think it's really important, especially on this sub where everyone is familiar with the gc concept and the GC sub, to differentiate which it is you are referring to.
[–]lairacunda 13 insightful - 4 fun13 insightful - 3 fun14 insightful - 3 fun14 insightful - 4 fun - 8 months ago (0 children)
You do realize that there have been radical feminists who have been subscribed to LGBDroptheT from its inception and who have contributed to it significantly. The fact that you want to exclude us is evidence of your discomfort with women batting for their own team.
I would have been impressed if you had proposed making a rule that misogyny isn't allowed as well. I suppose that doesn't bother you (if you even notice it). It sounds like even though you "can't really exclude LGB who are radfem", you sure would like to. Maybe you can start a new sub called GBDroptheT since you've already dropped the L.
[–]lairacunda 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun - 8 months ago (0 children)
You're not going to get a reply because u/Astrid2448 is here to rant about radical feminism being 'mean' and not centering gay men. This is a shitpost.
I've never heard anyone except TRAs say that intersex and trans are the same. Trans have been co-opting the intersex narrative for decades. They lifted the term "assigned at birth" from them and often claim they are intersexed when they are not.
[–]lairacunda 15 insightful - 3 fun15 insightful - 2 fun16 insightful - 2 fun16 insightful - 3 fun - 8 months ago (0 children)
Don't believe everything you read, especially from uninformed people talking about people they don't like.
Radical feminists are not anti-gay, anti-mentally ill, anti-intersex and have also been campaigning AGAINST genital mutilation for DECADES.
What's going on here is that this sub is getting BRIGADED by people who hate radical feminists and who don't really know a lot about us or what we think or believe.
[–]lairacunda 13 insightful - 3 fun13 insightful - 2 fun14 insightful - 2 fun14 insightful - 3 fun - 8 months ago (0 children)
"radfems on here can't do their usual thing of mass downvoting to hide comments and silence people" RECEIPTS?
"I am completely against radical feminism. I don't give a shit that they're anti-trans, because they're also anti-intersex, anti-mentally ill..."
"they couldn't give less of a shit about gay males, GNC males, or bisexual people" RECEIPTS?
"Also a lot of them are, as you said, extremist left and are pro-communist and all that." RFLMAO. You don't actually know any radical feminists do you? We're actually a very diverse bunch.
"A few years ago radfems and TRAs would’ve been in the same circles. It’s a big part of why they hate each other so much - they feel betrayed by each other and feel like they need to stop the other group from lobbying for the changes they want. And they both think they’re doing it for the good of humanity."
Radical Feminism became suspicious of trans very early on, though when there were a lot fewer trans and TRAs, what exactly they were in terms of a social-engineering agenda wasn't clear. They also tended to stay in their lane and were mostly actual disphorics as opposed to AGPs. That changed after the 90s but it changed gradually. The erosion of women's rights has also been gradual. I would agree that radfem is leftist but it's also outside of the left/right framework. The class analysis of radical feminism may have originated with Marxism but the classes it identifies and the path towards women's liberation are way beyond any framework the left provides. Unlike traditional political tendencies, radical feminists recognize patriarchal women as being in the same class as all women.
[–]lairacunda 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun - 8 months ago (0 children)
Radical feminism is not liberal feminism to a greater degree. In fact liberal feminism isn't really feminism at all. You're confused because of the word radical which you are equating with extremism. The radical in radical feminism refers to the root of the problem.
r/GC had a very strong anti-brigading policy and never allowed its promotion. It would earn you an instant ban. The ones who did do a lot of brigading of all the gc subs and also of r/LGBDroptheT were TRAs. I have no idea why you think radfems would have been downvoting on LGBDroptheT. I think this is just your own idea.
"tRaNs MeN aRe MeN" preacher visits r/askgaybros; r/askgaybros resists by lazy-summer-god in LGBDropTheT
[–]lairacunda 6 insightful - 5 fun6 insightful - 4 fun7 insightful - 4 fun7 insightful - 5 fun - 8 months ago (0 children)
By going into a gay men's sub to say "leave me alone".
Senator Wiener of California...Some people say it's pushing for legalizing sex with minors as long as you are not over 10 years older than the minor.. Read the bill by joeytundra in GenderCritical
The far-right is wrong about a lot of things. Historically it is also wrong about the LGB Liberation movement which it has opposed since its inception. Also, they are opposed to trans but for the wrong reasons. The irony here is that the trans agenda is inherently conservative because it enshrines sex-based stereotypes just like the far right and the religious right. What the right wants and what radical feminists want are at opposite ends.
You're basically arguing that decriminalizing SSA led to pedophilia. That is insanely homophobic and ignores that most pedophiles are men who prey on girls.
Question for GC: Can you explain why a neopenis/phalloplasty is not a penis? If a man is something with a penis, then if a man removes all of his genitals in surgery, why will he still remain a man after surgery? by GarageCar in GenderCriticalGuys
[–]lairacunda 5 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 2 fun - 8 months ago (0 children)
I bet you can understand why a cheap Calvin Klein knock-off is not the real thing. This shouldn't be that difficult for you.
The trans-industrial complex is heavily monetized. It has deep pockets because some thinktank decided creating a "need " for transition would be the next, big thing. That's why it's getting pushed in schools and throughout society. We are being desensitized into accepting this new reality as normal.
Hey Yish! I missed you.
N0 actually, his views DON'T matter. Please stop feeding this pap to adult male children.
What you need to understand is that reproduction, who gets to be born and who doesn't, is a female prerogative. Males have no business even having an opinion on this. MALES ARE NOT IN CHARGE OF REPRODUCTION. The only say you get is whether or not you are willing to have sex with a woman who wants to have sex with you. The End.
The "treatment other than sex-change" is to learn to love yourself, stop listening to propagandized social media and conservatives who tell you you are wrong for not conforming to sex-role stereotypes.
The 40% trans-suicide stat is a complete lie. If it were true they would be .0006% of the population instead of .0010%.
You're not an ally.
I think I'm having a stroke. by TheMoon in GenderCritical
[–]lairacunda 4 insightful - 3 fun4 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 3 fun - 8 months ago (0 children)
Because the more you tell a lie, the truer it becomes!
[–]lairacunda 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun - 8 months ago (0 children)
By "this" you mean what exactly? Gay marriage? The decriminalization of gay sex? The far-right has been saying that about almost everything LGB for a long time. Usually they are wrong.
[–]lairacunda 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun - 8 months ago (0 children)
So they think it's okay for a 20 y.o. to have sex with a 10 y.o.
"*I'm A Nurse Who Cares For Gender Surgery Patients. Here's Why I Love It So Much.*" - HP gender propaganda piece written by a seriously disturbed individual by lairacunda in GenderCritical
[–]lairacunda[S] 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun - 8 months ago (0 children)
It reads like someone's kink. Though that's not the only reason it feels so dirty.
No, it's a TIF wannabe. She's an adult. Probably has real, so-called "health insurance. She could trans any time she wanted. But she won't because she probably knows all too well just how dangerous it is to be medicalized and get body parts chopped off. No, it's good enough for the kids but not for their caretakers. She's a criminal.
[–]lairacunda[S] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun - 8 months ago (0 children)
_ /\ _
[–]lairacunda[S] 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun - 8 months ago (0 children)
I guess I was expecting a sober, dignified account
I guess I was expecting a sober, dignified account
Nah, this is The Huffpost we're talking about. They pander to the trans lobby.
Federal appeals court: Male-only draft is constitutional MRAs stepping up for "equality" by lairacunda in GenderCritical
Off-topic but, I haven't heard your user name in decades!
[–]lairacunda[S] 27 insightful - 1 fun27 insightful - 0 fun28 insightful - 0 fun28 insightful - 1 fun - 8 months ago (0 children)
Personally, I think this reads like a dystopian nightmare.
[–]lairacunda[S] 25 insightful - 3 fun25 insightful - 2 fun26 insightful - 2 fun26 insightful - 3 fun - 8 months ago (0 children)
THIS IS THE ARTICLE IF YOU DON'T WANT TO CLICK ON THE LINK
I’m A Nurse Who Cares For Gender Surgery Patients. Here’s Why I Love It So Much.
“It’s terribly lonely to have people know you as an incomplete or incorrect version of yourself.”
I’m an intensive care unit nurse in Austin. I work with the number one gender confirmation surgical team in the world, in a tiny hospital, in the middle of Texas. I get to tell my dad and strangers at parties, “I help make dicks and vaginas,” and that’s really fun, because my dad gets embarrassed easily. But what I should say is, “I help make people whole,” because that’s actually what my job is.
When my groggy patients open their eyes for the first time after surgery, I say, “Congratulations! Want to see?” I gently pull back the covers to reveal their new and appropriate parts and they well up with tears and then I well up with tears and we celebrate with morphine, because gender confirmation surgery hurts. As they nod back off I pat their hand and walk away, thinking, Goodnight, little bunny.
When people ask me why I became a nurse, I have to tell them, “I don’t really know.” My college was paid for by an academic scholarship, and I thought I might use it to become an artist, or a writer, or an archeologist. My parents, who desperately wanted me to have a stable job with an actual income, put me on the phone with my aunt, who was a nurse. She told me all about job security, only working three days a week, and getting to wear pajamas to work. I loved science and biology and pajamas and thought, why not?
After I graduated I was very lucky and got hired into a cardiovascular ICU, where we took care of patients after their open-heart surgery. This was a trial by fire, and I went home after my shifts for the first two years to cry and drink a lot. People were code-bluing left and right, I had to yell “CLEAR” almost every shift (yes, we do that in real life), and I gave countless units of blood. It was hard, but it was also exciting and challenging, and I dug it. I liked it so much, in fact, that I got a tattoo of an anatomical heart on my arm.
Fifteen years into my career as a CVICU nurse, I moved to Austin and took a job at this very small hospital. Three years ago, I found out the gender confirmation team was coming to where I worked. The team wanted a small place with the right culture to ensure the proper treatment of their patients, because trans folks are often discriminated against even by medical professionals, even though gender dysphoria is a valid medical diagnosis.
The team did a check of our facility, realized we were all pretty decent humans who understood that being transgender is an actual thing, and decided to set up shop. My boss called me into her office to tell me and broke out into a big smile when she said, “They’ll need to be recovered in the ICU.”
My boss knows some things about me.
I, myself, am genderqueer. I was born into the wrong body, or more likely without the proper hormones, and ended up with a vagina where my penis was supposed to be. I was a child of the ’70’s, though, so there was no discussion of tragedies like this. I thought I was a monster, I thought I’d have to kill myself ― the usual things.
I felt trapped in a body that I didn’t recognize, and that feeling just got worse with puberty. There was nothing I could do, nowhere I could go to escape, except into my dreams, in which I was the most handsome fuckboy that ever lived.
Luckily, I was blessed with an innate sense of optimism AND really dirty dreams. So, instead of killing myself, I distracted myself with intricate blowjob fantasies and learned to cope, or at least not let my despair consume me, and I made it to the present with a great acceptance and love for who I am. Now, I know I could transition, but I have grown used to who I am and choose instead to live in the middle and have great hair and confuse lots of folks at airport security.
I don’t want to make light of this situation. I am still overcome with waves of great longing for the body I didn’t get, the identity I don’t have. It never goes away. It’s just that I have found a place to put it.
For many people, this is not possible. They cannot abide the overwhelming grief and shame of living as the wrong person; it’s terribly lonely to have people know you as an incomplete or incorrect version of yourself. With the technology we now have ― that this unique surgical team has brought to this small hospital and that I can be a part of ― we can offer people the relief that most take for granted: the chance to be their authentic selves.
Holly's memoir, out in October.
SHE WRITES PRESS
Holly’s memoir, out in October.
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So, do you see how all of this is overwhelmingly serendipitous and important to me? I’m helping these people, and in the process, healing the version of myself that thought it had to die all those years ago. I’m using my pain and struggles to relate to my patients and let them know that they’re safe, that they’ll be well taken care of, and that they are seen. I feel so lucky that I get to be the one they wake up to, and I do my best to make it a celebration each time.
Gender confirmation surgery, otherwise known as bottom surgery, is generally the last step in a person’s transition. It’s the grand finale on their very long road. So we have a good time when we can, in between the pain meds and attempting to get out of bed for the first time and the walking in the halls with new body parts. All the while I am almost constantly examining their new dicks or vaginas to make sure everything is going well. I’m a dick expert now, folks! But I’m never getting one tattooed on my arm.
In the time of COVID-19, things are quite different. Because of lower bed availability, the number of surgeries we can do is strictly limited, so those who have been on a year-long wait list are now pushed back even further. I hate this for them.
On top of this, if they are lucky enough to make it onto our schedule and have the date stick and the operation completed, no family members are allowed in as support. Take a moment to consider that ― how frightening that must be, especially if there are complications. I do my best to step up and to be the point guard for the parents, wives and husbands, but my job is busy already. Now I need a secretary to help with all the extra communication. Newsflash: Nurses don’t get secretaries.
We are all doing our best, but this is just a little extra important to me. This isn’t a knee replacement or a cellulitis patient ― these are MY people.
Now I punch into work, get report, and do genital checks with the off-going nurses, just to make sure everything looks right. If it’s a new dick, I get to do the hard work of checking circulation every hour in between asking the patient if they want me to measure it (always met with an excited YES) and coming up with a ridiculous name for it. I love naming dicks, and I’m good at it. Just ask the patients with the dicks named Bilbo Baggins, Louis Batton, or my favorite: 7 & 7, given right after I measured it. I am very professional.
Vaginas are easier to make surgically and need less time and attention, so I don’t get to name many of them. They tend to bleed, however, and we have to put these patients in mesh panties with a pad; you’ve never seen someone so excited to wear a pad.
My job is absurd and amazing, but it can be very difficult if there is a complication. Hands down the hardest part is watching someone who has just had the biggest and most important surgery of their life suffer a serious complication. It seems really unfair that such a thing could happen after someone waits their entire life to that point to be corrected, and it breaks my heart. Even more than the code blues used to.
But when things go well, as they usually do, it’s the best feeling to discharge these patients ― to release them out into the world as their true selves with their new and improved parts.
When it’s time for them to go home, I’m always so happy to help them get dressed. Not because I’ve been staring at their genitals for days, but because it suddenly turns them into not just patients, but people who exist in their lives away from me. People who have struggled and have been brave enough to face a seemingly insurmountable problem and do something big to fix it.
I’m humbled by these people and their courage to become whole, and I get excited to see what they put on their new bodies. The guys inevitably pull out shiny gym shorts. My God, what is it with the shiny gym shorts?
The women, however, pull out all sorts of pretty things: summer dresses, cute slippers, and ALWAYS some great sunglasses ― which I let them wear in the hospital without giving them shit ― because they are newly on parade, and they’ve earned it. They’ve earned all of it.
Holly Lorka is a writer, storyteller, ICU nurse, and retired standup comedian. Her memoir, Handsome, will be released in October.
"*I'm A Nurse Who Cares For Gender Surgery Patients. Here's Why I Love It So Much.*" - HP gender propaganda piece written by a seriously disturbed individual
8 months ago by lairacunda to /s/GenderCritical from (huffpost.com)
[–]lairacunda[S] 6 insightful - 4 fun6 insightful - 3 fun7 insightful - 3 fun7 insightful - 4 fun - 8 months ago (0 children)
Woah! Didn't even think of that. Fucking trans, the gift that keeps on TAKING!
**LGB Alliance** US Forming by lairacunda in GenderCritical
[–]lairacunda[S] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun - 8 months ago (0 children)
Suddenly, it's a bad day.
Stonewall UK Drops Mermaids by lairacunda in GenderCritical
US LGB Alliance Forming by lairacunda in LGBDropTheT
[–]lairacunda[S] 7 insightful - 2 fun7 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 2 fun - 8 months ago (0 children)
Yeah, I already did that. Thanks.
Federal appeals court: Male-only draft is constitutional MRAs stepping up for "equality"
8 months ago by lairacunda to /s/GenderCritical from (mail.com)
**LGB Alliance** US Forming
8 months ago by lairacunda to /s/GenderCritical from (twitter.com)
Stonewall UK Drops Mermaids
8 months ago by lairacunda to /s/GenderCritical from (mobile.twitter.com)
We need to raise the age limit for social media access to 30 by Chunkeeguy in LGBDropTheT
I think there should be social media for young people as an alternative to the cesspools. Because you're never going to get millions of parents on-board to withdraw privileges, or millions of pervs to quit preying on children. But if there was an alternative, a lot of parents would sign their kids up.
[–]lairacunda[S] 10 insightful - 2 fun10 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 2 fun - 8 months ago (0 children)
I have the same problem. I'm trying to figure out how to wrangle an invite.
Does anyone think Kamala Harris (she/her) is really a TRA, or is she just LARPing as one in order to win? by BEB in LGBDropTheT
Yep, trans is going to throw the election to Trump.
"we should just revert to Latin greetings", I don't think straight-arm salutes would go over really well.
Nonsense but well-paid nonsense.
"Why is no one calling her out on the fact that she didn't do her job as a Senator...?"
Because it's California and everyone's used to it. If she did her job, half the state would die of shock... [Edit:] and they would count them as Covid deaths.
Q: How can you tell when a politician is pandering?
A: Their lips are moving.
What do you guys think of the new acronym flying around? by SausageFanatic in LGBDropTheT
I think exclusionary is just copycat and doesn't really fit as well. Extorting, exterminating, expropriating, extirpating, expunging... We've got options.
Censorship Thursday - share your sub bans here! by TumbleweedFireflies in LGBDropTheT
Got banned from Lesbian Actually my first week on Reddit. Occasionally I'd get a message saying I'd been banned from a trans sub I'd never been to because I was participating in GC and anyone posting there would get autobanned somewhere else.
Elle Barbara states that "the T should come first" and renames it TGBLQ during interview at PrideMTL by bellatrixbells in LGBDropTheT
[–]lairacunda 6 insightful - 2 fun6 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 2 fun - 8 months ago (0 children)
US LGB Alliance FormingLGB Victory
8 months ago by lairacunda to /s/LGBDropTheT from (twitter.com)
A thread written by @ALLIANCELGB
8 months ago by lairacunda to /s/LGBDropTheT from (threader.app)
LESBIAN FESTIVAL - This Weekend. Online. by [deleted] in Lesbians
Wow, how did I miss that? I'll have to look into it.
[RANT/CRY FOR HELP] I am exhausted I am confused and I want to figure all this out. Grappling with trans issues while discovering I am a feminist. by Elizapornberry in GenderCritical
Skip Feminine Mystique.
Try something from these links instead.
You can change the language to English on the last one. You'll probably get a auto-translate button. Enjoy.
Need Advice for dealing with baby momma trying to trans my stepson by halebop in GenderCritical
[–]lairacunda 20 insightful - 1 fun20 insightful - 0 fun21 insightful - 0 fun21 insightful - 1 fun - 8 months ago (0 children)
If you are going to sue for custody of another woman's child, you'd best have a damn good reason. And unfortunately for you, your husband and the boy, a crazy, unstable, narcissistic mother who wants to trans her kid will not be considered a good enough reason. Find another one, or better yet, several. Prove that she endangers him in tangible ways the authorities will recognize. And don't even mention transing and the dresses. Because like you said, dresses, so what?
Bill That Would Allow Child Marriage Comes Under Fire In Somalia - Horrendous. Read and Weep.
What's your go to lazy meal? by lmaonope333 in Lesbians
Steak or hamburger patty.
I'm not at all new the phenomenon. It's an online event. I don't know what their vetting process is or if it's even possible to have 100% certainty. I know these women are dykes committed to womyn-only.
Not sure what about the announcement screams "inclusive".
What's the deal with TIFs? by msteacherlady in GenderCritical
[–]lairacunda 13 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 0 fun14 insightful - 0 fun14 insightful - 1 fun - 8 months ago (0 children)
Cuz 'girls are dumb'. It's internalized misogyny.
Political Lesbianism is not forced lesbianism/fake lesbianism. by [deleted] in Lesbians
[–]lairacunda 4 insightful - 4 fun4 insightful - 3 fun5 insightful - 3 fun5 insightful - 4 fun - 8 months ago (0 children)
It's just that I've never been credentialed. Must be a new thing.
Ok, now that I think about it, I can see why. They were the original purveyors of "any woman can be a lesbian". Just a hop over from anyone can be a woman. So yeah, fuck 'em.
Do you have one?
I know, it's so weird defining your lesbianism by what you don't want as opposed to what you do want.