r/itsafetish anyone? Wife scared to leave her TIM husband over the fear of transphobia

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[–]Iridescence 46 insightful - 5 fun46 insightful - 4 fun47 insightful - 5 fun -  (4 children)

What I find really disturbing about this thread is all the responses saying 'it's ok to want a divorce because you're not attracted to women', like that's the only issue at hand here. The issues she brought up are not to do with her trans husband's 'femininity' - unless masturbating in someone else's underwear, dressing in an excessively sexual and provocative manner, and complaining that you're not on your period are essential features of womanhood. It's not about 'I don't want to be married to a woman', it's more like 'I don't want to be married to a pervert'...

[–]No_ 15 insightful - 1 fun15 insightful - 0 fun16 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

They might be saying that since reddit will ban the truth.

When people say that, I hear “leave, he’s crazy”

I would phrase my response as such so as not to have it removed.

[–]yousaythosethings 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I don't know what would be more disturbing - that people and especially women know exactly what they can't say even though they believe it and the creepiness and narcissism of this guy is so self-evident or that people and especially women have been so indoctrinated that their minds just glaze over and ignore all of the creepy shit and jump right to validation? Which is more dystopian?

[–]LasagnaRossa 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Yeah! And TRAs always use cases like this to show that "see? They are women! Otherwise why would her wife divorce her, huh? Checkmate terf!"

Or MAYBE someone doesn't feel attracted to someone who became mentally unstable.

Or MAYBE someone is attracted to both men and women but not something in-between.

Anyway, cases like this don't prove TWAW.

[–]vitunrotta 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Or MAYBE someone is attracted to both men and women but not something in-between.

Yeah, this seems to be a non-argument to a lot of (especially) TiMs. I may be attracted to women, or I may be attracted to men, but some odd concoction of either is just... Really not either, and I would personally find it a bit off.

I am not trying to shame any person who'd have no issues being in an intimate relationship with TiM/TiF - just that for a lot of us there's a real, physical reason why we prefer men or women (or both) and why generally it might exclude transpeople. For the actual transsexuals (the ones with dysphoria who have transitioned) this can be pretty devastating, I get that. Yet, the answer is never to try and force someone to be attracted to something they aren't.

(Which people with dysphoria generally don't tend to do as far as I know, just to clarify. Correct me if I'm wrong though.)

[–]IridescentAnaconda 46 insightful - 2 fun46 insightful - 1 fun47 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

We have 3 kids together, two under the age of 10, and one teenager... I've tried to be as supportive as possible and we have spent a lot of our savings on her surgeries.

What a selfish prick.

[–]MadLass 38 insightful - 1 fun38 insightful - 0 fun39 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

"The proper terminology would be mother." About this sick TIM. Literally just made me want to throw up. So now hes a mother?! Im sorry just fuck no this poor woman. There was a thread the other day in MTF about a guy taking only 4 days after this "egg" cracked to tell his wife. She dressed him down good though and told him to gtfo. Its so sad women are too afraid of the woke police.

[–]stitchedlamb 32 insightful - 6 fun32 insightful - 5 fun33 insightful - 6 fun -  (4 children)

Trans woman lesbian here. This relationship cannot be salvaged. The boundaries violation of jerking off in your underwear aside, it demonstrates a need to be close to and affirmed by you, as a fellow woman, in her female sexuality. That need is unlikely to go away – if you can't fill that need, then she will get it met somewhere else. We (meaning trans women who date women) are want to pine for a cis femme who will guide us through the blossoming girlhood we never had;

All you ladies remember masturbating with your underwear to deal with your female sexuality?

No?

Jesus Christ that made me see red, I think I need a break from the internet.

[–]bellatrixbells 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

You know when the quotation began I was actually being hopeful.
And then he basically admitted he was looking for a hot mummy to cater to him as if he was their child.
How is this viewed as anything positive ? And what does a woman in a relationship with a transbian get from this.. ? A weird ass grown up man child ?? Isn't that the exact opposite of what most grown-up women want ? More and more it seems they view us as tough we exist solely in relation to them and we have no will, needs or feelings of our own...?

[–]stitchedlamb 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Absolutely. This is what happens when narcissism is rewarded by society as being "woke". Bringing "girlhood" into the whole vile mix takes it from selfish to downright degenerate imo. The obsession with being a young girl, one of the most vulnerable and exploited members of society, is repulsive.

[–]oofreesouloo 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

NO WAY, WHAT THE FCK. WHAT THE BLOODY FCK. I keep peaking more and more. As a lesbian, trans women* you better stay the f*ck away from me! I'll lie to them either way and tell them I'm straight lmao.

*Unless is a trans woman who exclusively likes males. With those, I'm totally fine.

[–]Thatstealthygal 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Of all the things I can think about wanting in a relationship, guiding my lover through childhood is very much not one of them.

[–]sisterinsomnia 34 insightful - 1 fun34 insightful - 0 fun35 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

This does sound like AGP.

[–]thrownawaycan 31 insightful - 2 fun31 insightful - 1 fun32 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

The replies are rather pathetic. Lots of trans persons suggesting staying married and having an open relationship/poly status.

[–]Realwoman 21 insightful - 5 fun21 insightful - 4 fun22 insightful - 5 fun -  (0 children)

Also, "she" has always been a woman

[–]fuckingsealions 29 insightful - 2 fun29 insightful - 1 fun30 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

That divorce is going to be a narc trainwreck. Everything will be about him as a victim. It doesn't sound like he's going to really be interested in parenting anymore since he's so self absorbed now. What a loss.

[–][deleted] 29 insightful - 1 fun29 insightful - 0 fun30 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah.. that obsession over menstruation again. If she doesn't leave, I wonder how safe her snd her kids will be.. how much more of their life's savings drained away that could have been used for their children's education or major purchases they both chose.

[–]couchmalcolm 27 insightful - 1 fun27 insightful - 0 fun28 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

One of my mom's coworkers divorced her husband who is now a transwoman, and they had a kid together. The coworker got remarried and the kid loves her new husband more than his "real" dad. Maybe these people should wait until their children are at least 18, or not even have children at all. I know that people discover things about themselves late in life, but if you have a family, you need to think about their feelings as well. It's not just about you when you're married, have children, etc. You have a responsibility to ensure their emotional well being.

[–][deleted] 13 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 0 fun14 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

As far as I understand, a lot of them start exploring transgenderism because they have kids. It's the attention going to the pregnant wife or the wife's attention going to the kids that makes the narcissist start looking for ways to draw the attention back to themselves.

[–][deleted] 22 insightful - 2 fun22 insightful - 1 fun23 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

I can't believe she didn't peak. I can't believe the thread isn't peaking. Fuck Reddit.

[–]PainfulTruthsMatter 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

The mods deleted the initial post, too. Cowards.

[–]LasagnaRossa 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Maybe those who peak are deleted...

[–]bellatrixbells 13 insightful - 2 fun13 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 2 fun -  (5 children)

Has anyone referred this person to trans widows ? Cause I'll do it unless someone on here gives me reason not to.

[–]bellatrixbells 21 insightful - 1 fun21 insightful - 0 fun22 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

Never mind I PMed her. She might report me but that was too similar to other stories I've read there. FFS. What a disgusting, selfish man she married : also people in the comments are saying she's selfish for trying to keep this marriage together ?? WTAF ?

[–]Thatstealthygal 8 insightful - 2 fun8 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 2 fun -  (3 children)

What about the one who says it's full of terf dogwhistles and ergo fake?

[–]bellatrixbells 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I don't know. You think it is ?

[–]Thatstealthygal 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I don't.

[–]bellatrixbells 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Me neither.

[–]Moirawr 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Link to deleted post https://snew.notabug.io/r/relationship_advice/comments/hqhrvc/my_partner_has_recently_come_out_as_a_transwoman/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share

[–]quickbeam 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

What a nightmare... Reddit deleting the contents of the initial post is shameful. But then again #RedditHatesWomen

[–]venecia 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It doesn't work :| Maybe I should be grateful I was spared the OP text.

NEVERMIND it works. Thank you! But also I hate you. But thanks!

[–]quickbeam 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

What a nightmare... Reddit deleting the contents of the initial post is shameful. But then again #RedditHatesWomen

[–][deleted] 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I could puke.

[–]Nona_Biba 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Sad to see the first couple of top comments don't even mention that he's masturbating in her underwear. That's like, completely violating, especially since op mentioned he has his own wardrobe of women's clothes.

[–]venecia 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Oh god. Do I dare ask what it said before it was deleted?

Jesus christ I regret everything. What has caused the world to turn upside down? The sky green? This woman cannot even say the sky is blue without fearing being attacked by the mob and does nothing but self-flagellate over daring to be upset about living with a pervert.