r/itsafetish anyone? Wife scared to leave her TIM husband over the fear of transphobia

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[–]Iridescence 46 insightful - 5 fun46 insightful - 4 fun47 insightful - 5 fun -  (4 children)

What I find really disturbing about this thread is all the responses saying 'it's ok to want a divorce because you're not attracted to women', like that's the only issue at hand here. The issues she brought up are not to do with her trans husband's 'femininity' - unless masturbating in someone else's underwear, dressing in an excessively sexual and provocative manner, and complaining that you're not on your period are essential features of womanhood. It's not about 'I don't want to be married to a woman', it's more like 'I don't want to be married to a pervert'...

[–]No_ 15 insightful - 1 fun15 insightful - 0 fun16 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

They might be saying that since reddit will ban the truth.

When people say that, I hear “leave, he’s crazy”

I would phrase my response as such so as not to have it removed.

[–]yousaythosethings 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I don't know what would be more disturbing - that people and especially women know exactly what they can't say even though they believe it and the creepiness and narcissism of this guy is so self-evident or that people and especially women have been so indoctrinated that their minds just glaze over and ignore all of the creepy shit and jump right to validation? Which is more dystopian?

[–]LasagnaRossa 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Yeah! And TRAs always use cases like this to show that "see? They are women! Otherwise why would her wife divorce her, huh? Checkmate terf!"

Or MAYBE someone doesn't feel attracted to someone who became mentally unstable.

Or MAYBE someone is attracted to both men and women but not something in-between.

Anyway, cases like this don't prove TWAW.

[–]vitunrotta 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Or MAYBE someone is attracted to both men and women but not something in-between.

Yeah, this seems to be a non-argument to a lot of (especially) TiMs. I may be attracted to women, or I may be attracted to men, but some odd concoction of either is just... Really not either, and I would personally find it a bit off.

I am not trying to shame any person who'd have no issues being in an intimate relationship with TiM/TiF - just that for a lot of us there's a real, physical reason why we prefer men or women (or both) and why generally it might exclude transpeople. For the actual transsexuals (the ones with dysphoria who have transitioned) this can be pretty devastating, I get that. Yet, the answer is never to try and force someone to be attracted to something they aren't.

(Which people with dysphoria generally don't tend to do as far as I know, just to clarify. Correct me if I'm wrong though.)