LGB Erasure"EVERYBODY's sexuality is fluid. You never know if you won't meet a person that will change it for you!"

submitted by lazy-summer-godSuper Gay from self.LGBDropTheT

Nothing gets me as much as homophobic statements supported by an argument that "water is fluid, hence sexuality must be, too."

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[–]reluctant_commenter 29 insightful - 1 fun29 insightful - 0 fun30 insightful - 1 fun -  (18 children)

Damn, that is a lot of input from bisexual people on a sub for gay guys.

I know there is a lot of pressure on bi guys, and fewer self-reported bi guys overall; do you think that some of these people might just be in denial that they are bi? Like I'm sure some are TRAs but also, I kind of wonder if people buying into the "water" rhetoric feel uncomfortable with the definition of gay because they are uncomfortable with themselves.

[–]oofreesouloo⚡super lesbian⚡ 27 insightful - 1 fun27 insightful - 0 fun28 insightful - 1 fun -  (16 children)

The answers from this post actually are sort of gay men version of actuallesbians. Lots of bi speaking on behalf of gay

[–]reluctant_commenter 10 insightful - 2 fun10 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 2 fun -  (15 children)

Ahhh okay. That helps for context, thanks. Huh, interesting, I wonder where all the bi guys are IRL, I have only met a couple.

[–]oofreesouloo⚡super lesbian⚡ 19 insightful - 1 fun19 insightful - 0 fun20 insightful - 1 fun -  (14 children)

By the way, this was only my opinion lol. There's lots of hidden bi men. They are much more discreet than bi women because of society pressures and double standards. On the other side of the spectrum, you get lots of women who kiss once a woman while drunk and are quick to say they're SOOOooOo bi or gay lmao

[–]MezozoicGayoldschool gay 22 insightful - 1 fun22 insightful - 0 fun23 insightful - 1 fun -  (13 children)

Being bi or especially lesbian is "sexy" for women, but being bi for men is a stigma.

[–]oofreesouloo⚡super lesbian⚡ 18 insightful - 1 fun18 insightful - 0 fun19 insightful - 1 fun -  (8 children)

Exactly! God I hate that now being lesbian is seen as "sexy" ugghhh

[–]reluctant_commenter 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (7 children)

Unfortunately it has probably been seen that way for a while due to porn and sexual objectification :/

[–]oofreesouloo⚡super lesbian⚡ 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (6 children)

I know, but now it's so worse. Before, you saw much less people claiming to be lesbians. Now everyone (females and males from all possible sexualities and appearances) and anything is a lesbian because it's SoooOOoooo cool and exotic /s They treat our sexual orientation like a personality trait

[–]reluctant_commenter 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

Yeah, I guess that's true. It's funny though-- I have met very few lesbians in real life, even fake ones. 2 lesbians, and one "bisexual lesbian" (lol). I feel like it is still fairly unpopular offline even though people are abusing it and claiming it in droves online. You know?

[–]les4leshomonormative 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I know hardly any actually homosexual lesbians irl, but a bunch of bisexual and "queer" women (most of them single or het-partnered, lol.)

It's sensible statistically, but somewhat frustrating. Not because they won't bed me or whatever, I'm a lesbian not an incel, but because in the community at my school these women become the representatives for all of us, when they often don't understand what it's like to be actually homosexual but think that being ssa gives them a right to speak on it. I don't know if this is accurate at all but it feels like lesbians are the smallest demographic in the community, either because bisexuals outnumber us or because we've been largely pushed out of it

[–]oofreesouloo⚡super lesbian⚡ 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I wish that was the case, but I had a guy friend told me he met lots of straight girls "turning" lesbian and then "turning" straight again or vice versa (bi women). I also heard a straight guy tell he had a "threesomes with 2 lesbians". Soooo idk 😂

[–]florasisHOMOSEXUAL FEMALE/Pussy is my God and I'm monotheist 13 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 0 fun14 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I wish being bi for women was more of a stigma. There are too many fake bisexuals not really interested in girls, and that makes lesbians in general phobic of bisexual women.

[–]Lapis_Lazuli 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I don't want female bisexuality (or homosexuality) to be stigmatized, but neither do I want it to be glamorized. Being bi/lesbian (or claiming to be) shouldn't make anyone exotic or exciting; it should be a minor statistical anomaly no more interesting than having type AB blood.

[–]PopeyesChicken 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

So the annoying straight girls call themselves bi for attention. Nobody is allowed to say anything about it because bi community says everyone is valid.

The annoying bi girls call themselves lesbians. Nobody is allowed to say anything about it because the bi girls have taken over the lesbian community and thrown out the lesbians who criticize them.

When are bi people going to own that there’s a real problem in their community with this? A lot of the homophobic stuff is coming from them.

[–]PenseePansyBio-Sex or Bust 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Being bi or especially lesbian is "sexy" for women, but being bi for men is a stigma.

To my everlasting regret! :( Esp. as a bi woman whose "sexual preference" is best described as "other bisexuals"... not that I turn up my nose at straight guys or lesbians, mind; it's just that my fellow "both/and"-ers get... special consideration.

And, to expand on your observation: I suspect this is due to the fact that, since people so often believe bisexuality doesn't even exist, we're understood as either gay or straight. Typically bi women are classified as the latter (slutty and/or freaky enough to cater to male threesome-fantasies), and bi men as the former (closet cases).

As a result, bi women = sexy (to straight men)... and bi men = stigmatized (to straight women, who regard them as gay, and thus best avoided, dating-wise).

Funny how, either way, it's always the dick-loving (as opposed to ladybits-loving) side of our nature that ends up defining us, isn't it?

[–]LasagnaRossa 22 insightful - 1 fun22 insightful - 0 fun23 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

As a bisexual, I found infuriating that comment that says "my friend didn't become bisexual, but his interest shifted overtime from straight to gay"

Goddammit, you don't need to be attracted to both genders at the same time with the same passion! Do you like both, even if a little? Congratulations, you're bi.

And what about the other idiot who said "Kinsey 5 is not bisexual". DO YOU LIKE BOTH? YOU'RE BI, goddammit!

Once again confused bisexual people in the internet are talking for their gay fellows 🙄

[–]Three_oneFourWanted for thought crimes in countless ideologies 25 insightful - 1 fun25 insightful - 0 fun26 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

"Just because your sexuality hasn't changed for a long time doesn't mean it can't, just like a water pool that stands still for a long time"

Why is it that everyone else is what they say they are and neither I nor biology can say otherwise, but when I say I'm not attracted to women, that's wrong and I just don't know anything about sexuality or myself? Someone says their gender is potato, and I have to call them as spud/spudself, but when I say I'm gay, I'm still not allowed to reject women as a sexual or romantic option, even the ones that still identify as women?

This is 10000000% conversion therapy rhetoric and anyone who tries to tell me that my sexuality is anything other than 100% homosexual is a complete homophobe

[–]oofreesouloo⚡super lesbian⚡ 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

preach brother

[–]Gearbeta 22 insightful - 1 fun22 insightful - 0 fun23 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I guess it's "interesting" to see asshole bisexuals attack gay men instead of just lesbians like they normally do. Disclaimer, I know not all bis are like this. I don't understand why it is so hard for some people to believe that 100% monosexual people exist. I'm so tired of hearing "everyone's a little gay" or "everyone's a little bi" like just fuck off and listen when people say they aren't attracted to someone.

[–]8bitgay 21 insightful - 1 fun21 insightful - 0 fun22 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

The fact that it is like this for you specifically, doesn't mean everyone else has it like that too.

upvoted

Well, then I ask people who claim that sexual orientation is fluid for the same courtesy and noting that it might be fluid for them, specifically, but not for everyone.

downvoted

They love double standards, eh? They can say "don't apply your rules to everyone", but we can't.

How do you know, for a fact, that all gays have immutable sexual orientation?

I mean, by the fact that they're gay? If you suddenly find out you're into women then you aren't gay lol. I think they're mistaking "sexuality is fluid and gay men might be attracted to women" with "people might find out they're bi later in life".

This is the same sub that keeps mocking delusional gay guys who are into their straight friends. Well, maybe we should start saying to these guys "don't worry, sexuality is fluid, maybe the straight guy will be into you".

[–]julesburm1891 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

It’s just more TRA “words don’t actually mean anything and it’s about how you identify” nonsense.

[–][deleted] 19 insightful - 1 fun19 insightful - 0 fun20 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Conversion therapy by any other word is a fucking conversion therapy.

[–]MezozoicGayoldschool gay 15 insightful - 1 fun15 insightful - 0 fun16 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

0 karma, 34% upvotes

Wow.

[–]INeedSomeTimeAsexual Ally 14 insightful - 2 fun14 insightful - 1 fun15 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

I wonder if they consider asexuals an exception to this?

[–]artetolife 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

/r/askgaybros is like 50% bisexuals and most of the other half are clinging to the hope that they can 'turn' their straight crushes, or one day settle down with a woman (who will have no say or opinion on the matter, obviously). Based on the arguments I've had on there it's the latter group who shriek the loudest about "fluidity". Sad really.

[–]JulienMayfair 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

As they used to say, "You just haven't found the right man/woman." /s

[–][deleted] 9 insightful - 4 fun9 insightful - 3 fun10 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

So the Lisa Diamond types are coming for gay men now? This is gonna be interesting to hear the male version of their bs.

I love how they claimed for the past few years that only female sexuality is uniquely fluid and that gay men didnt apply. But now that they got bored of messing with the lesbians all of a sudden they do lol

[–]xanditAGAB (Assigned Gay at Birth) 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Are you old enough to remember when those gay conversion christian group would tell the word its possible to change and the lgb community would jump on them and say no we can't change you bigot? Now we are infighting to say sexuality is fluid, just like the converters said it was.

[–]julesburm1891 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

I agree with OP’s message, but I think he went about it the wrong way. Launching a declarative statement in AskGayBros is the kind of thing TRAs do. We should strive to be better than that because we don’t want our movement to be as obnoxious as TQ’s.

[–]lazy-summer-godSuper Gay[S] 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

No argument here. I also don't like how OP reaches the other extreme by saying that sexuality can't be fluid for anyone. If some bisexual people say they do experience periods of increased attraction to males or females, then I totally believe them.

[–]julesburm1891 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Exactly. I think sexuality can be fluid for bi people and there are a lot more bi people than we think. But, just because that’s true for some doesn’t mean sexuality is fluid for heterosexuals and homosexuals.

[–]PopeyesChicken 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I think he means that it can’t be fluid for a person who’s gay.

[–]chazzstrong 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

So I had a time, in my earlier years, where I believed that 'everyone is bisexual'. Yeah, everyone has some teenage cringe to deal with, sue me.
Anyway I eventually grew up and....manifested an understanding of individual attraction. It seemed so obvious to me that there were attractive traits for both men and women, it never occurred that these could be simply preferences like blond hair or long legs. Now I recognize and appreciate that there are traits I find appealing on men, and some I find appealing on women, and I don't expect everyone to feel the same. Thankfully this was a short faze in my youth, and I chalk it up to ignorance and that familiar ol gut-check 'gay panic'.
As far as 'preference' goes...I don't even like to use the term 'sexual preference' when speaking about bisexuals, and I think we're the only ones it can even be applied to.

[–]disheveledtomboyGen X Old AF DGAF 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Sounds awfully familiar to "you say you're a lesbian now, but you'll change your mind when you meet the right guy!"

[–][deleted] 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

This stuff is really performative. The only "fluid" people I know seem to be that way only in theory.

[–]CrashCourse 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Jesus, when did 'bi' become a dirty word?

[–]PenseePansyBio-Sex or Bust 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

When "sex" (as in biological) did! And got replaced by "gender". In the process of Newspeak Transpeak rewriting our entire fucking language.

So sexual orientation now meant (according to the New Trans Dictionary) which GENDER/S you find attractive. "Bi", being based on biological sex (= attracted to both of 'em [males and females]), is therefore retrograde, nonsensical, offensive... and consequently obsolete. QED (& R.I.P.)

For contemporary trans-approved usage, see: pansexual (at least till THAT'S deemed insufficiently-"inclusive" and becomes verboten, too).

[–]PriestTheyCalledHimBisexual 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

For us bisexuals sexual atteaction to both sexes is 'fluud' or it does change or can vary at different times in life.

For people who are homosexual/gay/lesbian, or heterosexual/straight their sexuality never changes, and no most people are not bisexual.

A gay man or lesbian woman who has sex or even marries the opposite sex is not bisexual but is either deep in denial, or hiding in a closet. My male homosexual friends who had sex with women as teenagers or young adults said they did not know they were gay then or did not want to be gay/homosexual and that sex with women just proved to them they have zero sexual attraction to women at all. Lesbian women I have met who have had sex with men or had ex husbands, said how sex with men just showed them how they have zero sexual attraction to men at all.