Episode 5 sets the stage for the impending conflict between Springfield and South Park.

South Park Episode Script: "Randy’s Rallies"

(Episode 5 of 6: Tensions between Springfield and South Park rise as Cartman’s failed raid sparks accusations and Randy doubles down on his wall, setting the stage for an all-out war.)

OPENING SCENE
(EXT. SOUTH PARK TOWN SQUARE - DAY)
(Randy is standing on a stage in the middle of a massive crowd. He’s wearing a flashy suit, looking overly confident. The crowd is holding signs like “RANDY 2024” and “KEEP SOUTH PARK PURE.” He raises his arms to get the crowd hyped.)

RANDY
(shouting into the microphone)
"South Park, are you ready for some REAL change?!"

(Crowd cheers wildly. Randy grins, playing up his Trump-like energy.)

RANDY
"That’s right, people! You’re all gonna get FREE weed! And you know what? We’re gonna build that wall higher—no, we’re gonna make it taller and thicker to keep out the outsiders!"

(The crowd erupts with chants of “BUILD THAT WALL! BUILD THAT WALL!” Randy grins, feeding off their energy.)

CUT TO:
(EXT. RALLY GROUNDS - BACKSTAGE AREA - SAME TIME)
(Sharon is pacing nervously. She’s supposed to speak after Randy, but it’s clear she’s not excited about it. She watches Randy from the side, frowning.)

SHARON
(sighing, to herself)
"How am I supposed to compete with free weed and crazy promises?"

(Stans walks up beside her, looking uncomfortable.)

STAN
"Mom, do you really have to do this? Dad’s rallies are… uh, kinda hard to beat."

SHARON
(firmly)
"Stan, someone has to be the voice of reason. I can’t let your dad just turn this election into a circus."

(She takes a deep breath and heads toward the stage as Randy finishes up his speech.)

CUT TO:
(EXT. RALLY STAGE - MOMENTS LATER)
(Sharon steps onto the stage, the crowd’s energy immediately shifts. They’re clearly not as excited to see her. She takes the mic, trying to project confidence.)

SHARON
"Thank you. Look, I know my opponent, Randy Marsh, has made some big promises today. But we need to focus on real solutions for South Park, not—"

CROWD MEMBER
(heckling)
"BOOO! Give us more weed!"

SHARON
(raising her voice)
"I’m talking about actual policies that can make South Park better! We can’t just build walls and give away free drugs! We need infrastructure—"

CROWD
(booing)
"WE WANT WEED! WE WANT WEED!"

(Sharon tries to continue, but the crowd’s chants drown her out. Randy watches from the side, smirking.)

RANDY
(mocking)
"Tough crowd, Sharon. Maybe they just want a leader who knows how to have fun!"

(The crowd laughs, and Sharon is visibly frustrated. She tries to push through her speech, but the audience’s attention is clearly on Randy’s showmanship rather than her logical arguments.)

CUT TO:
(EXT. SPRINGFIELD - DAY)
(Bart, Lisa, and other Springfield residents are gathered in front of the town hall, furious after Cartman and Butters’ latest stunt. Mayor Quimby is trying to calm the crowd, but Bart is stoking the flames.)

MAYOR QUIMBY
"People, we can’t let this turn into a war! South Park is a small town just like ours. We must find a peaceful resolution."

BART SIMPSON
(grinning mischievously)
"Yeah, right! They started this, and now we finish it! Let’s give them a taste of their own medicine!"

LISA SIMPSON
(crossing her arms)
"Bart, you’re just making things worse. This whole thing is ridiculous!"

(The crowd is divided, with some people nodding along to Lisa’s rational arguments, while others are hyped up by Bart’s rebelliousness.)

MOE
(shouting)
"They think we eat pets? Well, let’s show them what we’re capable of!"

(The crowd cheers, and the town begins gearing up for “war” against South Park, though it’s clear the “war” is mostly just pranks and exaggerated responses to Cartman’s rumors.)

CUT TO:
(EXT. SOUTH PARK TOWN SQUARE - DAY)
(Randy is holding another rally, but this time there’s a growing tension. People in the crowd start throwing around exaggerated rumors about Springfield.)

RANDY
(excitedly)
"Those people in Springfield think they can mess with us? They think they can eat our pets and get away with it?"

(Crowd boos and chants “NO PET EATERS!”)

KYLE
(to Stan, looking worried)
"Your dad’s really making this worse. If Springfield actually comes here, we could end up in a real fight."

STAN
(annoyed)
"Yeah, well, welcome to my life."

(The crowd gets more riled up as Randy stokes the flames, making ridiculous claims about Springfield’s supposed “attacks.” Sharon watches from the sidelines, growing more and more concerned.)

CUT TO:
(EXT. SPRINGFIELD TOWN BORDER - NIGHT)
(Springfield residents, led by Bart and some of the more aggressive locals, are setting up for their “war” with South Park. They’re armed with prank supplies like toilet paper, stink bombs, and spray paint.)

BART SIMPSON
(excitedly)
"Alright, everyone! Let’s show South Park who’s boss!"

LISA SIMPSON
(shaking her head)
"Bart, this is stupid. You’re only making things worse."

BART
(smirking)
"Exactly. That’s the point."

(The Springfield prank squad heads toward the South Park wall, ready to escalate the situation. But behind the pranks, there’s a sense that things are starting to get out of control.)

CUT TO:
(EXT. SOUTH PARK TOWN HALL - NIGHT)
(Sharon is holding a small, poorly attended town hall meeting, trying to get people to focus on real issues instead of Randy’s inflammatory rhetoric. There are only a few people in the room, and they seem disengaged.)

SHARON
"Look, we need to stop this before it gets worse. Springfield isn’t really our enemy. We need to be talking about fixing our roads, improving schools—"

(A loud crash is heard outside. Sharon and the attendees look out the window to see Springfield pranksters toilet-papering the South Park town hall.)

SHARON
(throwing her hands up)
"Of course. Because this is what happens when people listen to Randy instead of using common sense."

(The small crowd in her town hall starts filing out, more interested in seeing the pranks than listening to Sharon’s logical policies.)

CUT TO:
(EXT. SOUTH PARK BORDER - NIGHT)
(Springfield pranksters are met by Randy’s self-appointed “border patrol.” The two groups square off, with each side wildly overestimating the other’s threat. Toilet paper and spray paint fly as the South Park “defenders” try to fend off the pranksters.)

RANDY
(standing atop his wall, shouting into a megaphone)
"THIS IS IT, PEOPLE! SPRINGFIELD HAS DECLARED WAR! PROTECT OUR TOWN!"

(Crowd members start throwing whatever they can find at the Springfield pranksters, as the situation spirals into chaos. Both sides think they’re fighting for real, even though the “battle” is completely ridiculous.)

CUT TO:
(EXT. MARSH HOUSE - NIGHT)
(Stan and Kyle are watching the chaos from the Marsh family porch. Cartman runs up to them, breathless and excited.)

CARTMAN
"Guys! It’s happening! The war is ON! We have to defend South Park from the pet-eating invaders!"

KYLE
(rolling his eyes)
"This is all your fault, Cartman. You and your stupid rumors."

STAN
(sighing)
"Yeah, and now my dad’s making it even worse."

(As the chaos continues in the background, Sharon watches from the doorway, looking exhausted and defeated.)

CUT TO:
(INT. SPRINGFIELD TOWN HALL - NIGHT)
(Lisa is watching the chaos from a distance, shaking her head in disbelief.)

LISA SIMPSON
(sighing)
"I can’t believe this is happening… over pets."

(Mayor Quimby stands nearby, completely oblivious to the real problem.)

MAYOR QUIMBY
(cheerfully)
"Well, at least no one’s actually getting hurt! This will blow over soon enough."

(Lisa rolls her eyes as the pranks and petty conflict escalate in the distance.)

END SCENE
(*The conflict between South Park and Springfield is rapidly escalating, and Randy’s rallies continue to grow more absurd. Sharon struggles to make her voice heard as the situation spirals out of control.