Lie when people ask about who you voted by Soloninja in politics

[–]NastyWetSmear 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I lie about everything, but it's less to protect my privacy and more an overwhelming compulsion I can't resist.

... Even that was a lie. I could probably resist, I'm just lazy.

... Okay, yes, that was a lie. I'm actually just afraid of failure.

The Walking Dead by [deleted] in Humor

[–]NastyWetSmear 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Our brave boys in red venture to the surface of another planet with Earth like atmosphere, breathable air, no viruses or bacteria that could annihilate their human organs and survivable gravity, only to be eaten or disintegrated by some unpredictable alien terror!

oof by SierraKiloBravo in funny

[–]NastyWetSmear 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

He's playing hard ball. Making her work for it...

... Must be nice to be handsome enough to get away with that, eh?

Angry Dog by SeasideLimbs in funny

[–]NastyWetSmear 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It's a real tribute to the patience, understanding and intelligence of dogs that they don't kill the family cat, despite how often the cat hisses and claws at them or bites them. They have an understanding that they are meant to share the house with it and not harm it, despite the fact that it has three times the mass and jaws big enough to pop its head in a single bite.

This cape is made from cobweb collected from one million spiders during four years by Jashfior in whatever

[–]NastyWetSmear 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Ppftt. You'll never convince 1,000,000 spiders to wear that.

I just wanna say... FUCK YOUTUBE! I was watching a live video from a conservative black lady dropping truth bombs, and less than 7 minutes in, they cancelled it saying: "This video has been removed for violating YouTube's Terms of Service." Bull. Fucking. Shit. Fuck you, YouTube. Your CEO is a cunt. by suckitreddit in censorship

[–]NastyWetSmear 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Heh, well, that's one way of wounding the beast.

It's a shame, though. I thought Hooktube was robbing the creator of the views, allowing someone to watch a video without supporting it. So, for example, if you wanted to watch some Anti-Vaxxer say that there are nano-machines in vaccines, but you didn't want them to get the encouragement that a view would give, you could watch it through Hooktube. I'm sure that was the original purpose, though I know they got a hard pushback from YouTube.

Oh well, thanks for the insight!

Client: "So, have you ever heard of Tintin?" Barber: "Say no more, fam" by FediNetizen in funny

[–]NastyWetSmear 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Ohhh! I got it. Thank ya.

I just wanna say... FUCK YOUTUBE! I was watching a live video from a conservative black lady dropping truth bombs, and less than 7 minutes in, they cancelled it saying: "This video has been removed for violating YouTube's Terms of Service." Bull. Fucking. Shit. Fuck you, YouTube. Your CEO is a cunt. by suckitreddit in censorship

[–]NastyWetSmear 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

I'm not certain if it still works this way, but my understanding is that using Hooktube, essentially, robs YouTube of the view.

You just replace the "You" in a link with "Hook"... Does anyone know if it still works that way?

Client: "So, have you ever heard of Tintin?" Barber: "Say no more, fam" by FediNetizen in funny

[–]NastyWetSmear 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Where was this taken? I feel like most police forces have rules about what you can and can't do with your appearance. It's hard to project authority and confidence when you've got a corgi's docked tail glued to your forehead.

JoyFreak is an alternative gaming forum to ResetEra by JoyFreak in Gaming

[–]NastyWetSmear 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Hmm... Alright. I'll check it out. You just saved a chicken.

Well, not really. I still need dinner.

JoyFreak is an alternative gaming forum to ResetEra by JoyFreak in Gaming

[–]NastyWetSmear 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Cutting open a living chicken and reading its entrails is an "Alternative Gaming Forum" compared to ResetEra.

What do you bring that disemboweling a chicken doesn't? Keep in mind... The chicken gives me fresh chicken for dinner, so you've got stiff competition.

Not the Bee: News outlet calls the statement "only females get cervical cancer" a "disgustingly transphobic lie" by christnmusicreleases in funny

[–]NastyWetSmear 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

"Non-Binary person cures their cervical cancer by feeling more male today, thus removing their cervix. Film at 11!"

Thought some here might be interested in this by jet199 in MeanwhileOnReddit

[–]NastyWetSmear 6 insightful - 3 fun6 insightful - 2 fun7 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

"Yeah, hi. I had a question. How can you justify..."
[Removed]

Guy loses all his fingers and builds himself his own partial mechanical hand. by Jesus-Christ in videos

[–]NastyWetSmear 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Put a silk glove on it and call it "The Stranger"...

Ghost of Tsushima called "racist", but actual Japanese people love it. This idea of "you should think how we tell you to think" coming from the Leftwaffe sounds like the "white supremacy" they are so eager to oppose. by Chipit in Gaming

[–]NastyWetSmear 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

I don't even buy games anymore unless someone says they are racist. That's usually a good sign that the writers cared more about the game and story than making Twitter happy.

Memes like they use to be. Lmao by Riva in whatever

[–]NastyWetSmear 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

You get one year for every second of genuine entertainment she's provided...

So, yeah. You should be good.

This recipe was brought to you in cooperation with Reddi-wip® real whipped cream by Jashfior in funny

[–]NastyWetSmear 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

This is stupid! It has the ingredients, but no instructions! How am I meant to recreate such a complex work of culinary genius at home!?

When you think, do you hear it as a spoken voice inside your head, or is it silent? by [deleted] in AskSaidIt

[–]NastyWetSmear 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

I get a combination of both.

The thoughts I have day to day, as I work or whatever, are mostly silent thoughts that instantly become actions, reactions, words out of my mouth, things I type, so on and so forth...

... But when I think about something, like sit back and take it in, it becomes almost conversational. I think the whole sentence through in my head as if I were speaking it aloud and, as I understand it, some research suggests that we actually move our vocal cords at an almost imperceptible level while doing this. I ask questions, answer questions, form full thoughts and ideas, toss them back and forth, debate them, question them to pick apart obvious flaws and preempt any issue that I might have or run into or others might rise... In short, I really get into it with myself. That guy's an arsehole, by the by. If you had half the conversations I have with me, you'd think I was a real tool!

So, yeah, it's a bit of both. Most of the things that don't require real focus are almost instinctual. Things, like this post, that require me to express or really consider something are more like internal plays where I act out the outcomes aloud in my head, question the meanings as if there were a second actor or point out the flaws as if there were mean spirited accusers trying to drag the idea through the dirt.

Could be I'm insane, but I've worked it into a viable system for now. Anyway, gotta go count my jars full of captured human voices. Thanks for listening!

BLM Teacher Says 2+2 Only = 4 Because of “Western Imperialism” by Questionable in NotTheOnion

[–]NastyWetSmear 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

"Mum, why are we trapped on this space ship, lost in the void, slowly running out of food in a desperate attempt to find a planet to live on?"
"Well, my son, when we launched this ship into space on a mission to the nearest inhabitable planet many, many years ago, we brought enough supplies to last our journey and establish a new home."
"What happened?"
"They changed maths back on earth to make a tiny percentage of people happy, re-uploaded the new, progressive maths to our navigation computer and now we're doomed."
"What percentage of people was it?"
"1,672B%"
"... Um, that's not a possible percentage of people, or even fully numerical."
"It is now, boy. It is now..."

Dutch police discover secret torture site in shipping containers by AliceofX in Europe

[–]NastyWetSmear 2 insightful - 3 fun2 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

Oh, great. Now I need to refurbish a whole new shipping container.

I've been working on my making my own Avatar: the last airbender Garry's mod server from scratch since the lockdown, here's where I'm at by [deleted] in Gaming

[–]NastyWetSmear 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I know this sounds awful, but just remember that any money you spend on this is utterly sunk forever. You can't sell this without bumping into copyright stuff, so that money won't be made back.

I don't want to discourage you, though, cos I still think it could be fun!

30 minutes of Assassin's Creed Valhalla gameplay footage has leaked by skunkwerx in Gaming

[–]NastyWetSmear 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Hollow Knight: "Let me guess. You jump on stuff, hit it with your sword and die a lot?"
Ori: "Let me guess. It's got 2D platforming? The story is sad and beautiful?"

I think u/Seven7s point was that I was being factious. I was purposefully dumbing down that game play to its base elements to make it sound repetitive and dull, something you can do with pretty much any game if you strip away all the detail and just broadly cover what makes it a game and, overall, a pretty unfair way to paint it.

I'd stand by a stance of saying that the Assassin's Creed games have become the EA FIFA/Basketball/Madden games of semi-stealth, running and jumping games. I'd defend a position that said that the story is stupid and it feels like the people who wrote it are constantly shocked that they have to make another one and have no storyboard to follow... But I was just being a bit silly in my first post.

Besides, I couldn't stand by a stance of pretending they aren't still fun in their own way.

Squirrel! by zyxzevn in Aww

[–]NastyWetSmear 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Man, that's nuts.

I've been working on my making my own Avatar: the last airbender Garry's mod server from scratch since the lockdown, here's where I'm at by [deleted] in Gaming

[–]NastyWetSmear 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Obviously the software is super dated, and I always found those Dragonball games made with the HL engine to be clunky at best, but I gotta say, it looks like you've got an interesting mix of abilities to play with, which is half the fun of these things.

The only thing I might suggest is that, to compensate for how dull these kind of games can get, maybe use the physics of the HL engine to add a lot of environmental things? Water that can be turned to ice. Pillars that can be dislodged by rising earth. That sort of thing can help make a fight like this interesting.

If you could find a way to add the martial arts animations to the actions, that'd be amazing... I know, I know, why don't I just suggest you pluck the moon out of the sky, right? Still, if you find a way it would not only look cool, but allow people to see and react to the motion. Character starts X movements you know it will be Y attack, as opposed to simply suddenly being on fire without much warning.

Good work!

What was your "This person is on another level of stupid" moment? by dissent in AskSaidIt

[–]NastyWetSmear 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

What was your "This person is on another level of stupid" moment? by dissent in AskSaidIt

[–]NastyWetSmear 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Wow! You're my first ever Saidit reply! You took my Saidit virginity!

I assume we'll be wed now, yes?

So, how was your 4th of July? by Jashfior in funny

[–]NastyWetSmear 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I'm Australian and already bald, but it would be nice to be an eagle for a change...

There's only so much I can do by skunkwerx in memes

[–]NastyWetSmear 2 insightful - 4 fun2 insightful - 3 fun3 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

I haven't answered Reddit's phone calls all week!

Reddit tonight by Tarrock in MeanwhileOnReddit

[–]NastyWetSmear 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

... and the stream is her watching fireworks, only she's wearing shorts and a low cut top?

What was your "This person is on another level of stupid" moment? by dissent in AskSaidIt

[–]NastyWetSmear 1 insightful - 4 fun1 insightful - 3 fun2 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

I have so many of them that it's hard to recall one specific one. All I know is that they are all usually me...

TIL since it is forbidden for Jews to carry certain objects in public during Shabbat, many cities have installed lines in the air, enclosing the city, making the entire city count as private domain and thus making it allowed to carry among other things, house keys, tissues, medication, and babies. by Jashfior in TIL

[–]NastyWetSmear 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

It's like u/sayitagain said. If these are meant to be the commandments of an all knowing, all seeing, all powerful God, I'd have to think that only people who weren't taking that concept seriously in the first place would even consider this.

I'm just some arsehole sitting in front of a computer and I have the wherewithal to see through this ruse... If there's a super being that created the earth and judges the souls of all men, you think he's looking at those bits of string and saying: "Woah... Woah, wait a second! Is that... Are those people inside?! I guess they are inside. Wow, that's a huge private house. A lot of people have smaller houses inside that private place. Man, I'm so baffled by this."

When you don't understand what's happening but still try to be helpful by Jashfior in funny

[–]NastyWetSmear 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

"Hi, u/Jashfior. Thanks for your report.

We have investigated and discovered that eating any variety of taco can cause the browser to crash. Please switch to an enchilada and refresh your browser. It may also help to clear your browser history - Not to help with your current issue, but because, frankly, it's disgusting."

r/hatecrimehoaxes got banned by Wahwah in MeanwhileOnReddit

[–]NastyWetSmear 16 insightful - 3 fun16 insightful - 2 fun17 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

I used to read that sub. It was obvious there were some bad faith people there who were only there to accuse whatever minority who claimed to have been attacked in order to poison the well, but more often than not people were presenting cases that had already been investigated and resolved by police.

It really demonstrated not that racism doesn't exist, or that most crimes against minorities were fake... But that humans of all kinds can be opportunistic, conniving, short sighted idiots who would rather throw fuel on a fire than deal with their own problems. It showed that hypocrisy is a trait that all men and women can share and recognise in each other. It really highlighted how everyone is human.

... I guess that's why it just had to go...

How it feels to leave Reddit by skunkwerx in memes

[–]NastyWetSmear 1 insightful - 6 fun1 insightful - 5 fun2 insightful - 6 fun -  (0 children)

I know you've got a green face, you're wearing a banana yellow tux and you've got the personality of a 5 year old... But the more you show me that money, the more attractive I seem to find you.

30 minutes of Assassin's Creed Valhalla gameplay footage has leaked by skunkwerx in Gaming

[–]NastyWetSmear 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

I haven't watched it, but let me take a bit of a guess.

You walk around mostly unnoticed.
You can climb stuff fairly easily.
Sometimes you jump down on people or out of bushes at people and stab them.

How did I do?

Tactical nuke ready for launch by CapnPoopOnChest in DarkHumorAndMemes

[–]NastyWetSmear 1 insightful - 3 fun1 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

The good news is that you won't have to wear a condom.
The bad news is you have to buy her a personalised, commemorative shirt.

Wouldn't it be cool if we asked questions about things other than Reddit/Said It or Politics? by theFriendlyDoomer in AskSaidIt

[–]NastyWetSmear 2 insightful - 4 fun2 insightful - 3 fun3 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

Have a good sleep! Can you please sleep facing the window? It makes it easier for me to creep out of the cupboard and get a snack. Thanks!

Gamers of Saidit. What's your go-to game when you simply cannot decide what to play? by tibbles in AskSaidIt

[–]NastyWetSmear 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I feel like this changes a lot for me. Normally about 3 or 4 games come out per year that I'm interested in to some degree, but there will always be one that I think to myself: "I'll just keep playing that and see if I can unlock X or Y..."

... At the end of the day, maybe any Dynasty Warriors game? They are such mindless, simplistic fun. Move to the important locations on the map, ruthlessly slaughter 450 peasants who are too afraid to hit a noble man to actually attack, then rinse and repeat.

Wouldn't it be cool if we asked questions about things other than Reddit/Said It or Politics? by theFriendlyDoomer in AskSaidIt

[–]NastyWetSmear 4 insightful - 4 fun4 insightful - 3 fun5 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

What would you like to talk about? I know a teeny, tiny amount about a huge range of things, making me all but useless in general... Like a character in a video game where you put 1 in every skill, but you need 5 in anything to even use it.

How women see the world around them by Cindy in funny

[–]NastyWetSmear 8 insightful - 12 fun8 insightful - 11 fun9 insightful - 12 fun -  (0 children)

Please stop forwarding me this, dad.

What a lucky guy. by itlog in funny

[–]NastyWetSmear 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Thank God for the addition of "(Comedy Drawing)". For a second there I thought that was a genuine picture of Hitler in drag.

Fa/tg/uy casts a spell by toakraka in 4chan

[–]NastyWetSmear 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I remember using Icy Manipulator and Royal Assassin to tap things, then kill those things. Thought I was top shit. Very exciting to get the combo out during a game... But I'm struggling to remember the last it was fetish like levels of excitement.

I love the fact that people with different opinions are all allowed here. by [deleted] in whatever

[–]NastyWetSmear 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

No they aren't! Shut up! Reported for, uh... I dunno... Hate speech!

/s

The battle of Emo Jima by useless_aether in funny

[–]NastyWetSmear 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I don't know if riots and protests are really spreading COVID-19, but I know that, if these guys are Emo, they have The Cure!

Cities Protecting Statues By Disguising Them As Karl Marx by Drewski in funny

[–]NastyWetSmear 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

You have to be careful. Some statues have already been pulled down because they were mistaken for someone else. If someone left a KFC bucket at his feet they may mistake him for Colonel Sanders.

So, how is quarantine going for you? by zyxzevn in funny

[–]NastyWetSmear 1 insightful - 2 fun1 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Dinner and a show.