I'm so fucking done with 'non-binary'

submitted by Beth-BR from self.GenderCritical

You would not believe how many teens in r/LGBTeens say they're non-binary even if the post doesn't regard that issue and also how many are 'trans enby pansexual'. Imo that just proves that it is not an actual identity but teens feeling so original and better from the woman and man examples older generations has set for them. I can't say anything becouse people my age haven't tasted the real world and are basically brainwashed to accept this bs no matter what and to identify as original as yo can. This really concerns me but I wanna stay on that sub. The whole fucking enby thing is a trend and the world is telling them it's ok. We should be defying bad stereotypes about men and women not disclude ourselfs from them!

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[–]immersang 96 insightful - 10 fun96 insightful - 9 fun97 insightful - 10 fun -  (6 children)

It's basically the new "emo", with some additional "not like the other girls". Nothing more.

[–]LasagnaRossa 65 insightful - 2 fun65 insightful - 1 fun66 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

The problem is this shit is taught in courses and some schools

[–][deleted] 53 insightful - 3 fun53 insightful - 2 fun54 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

And it’s basically changing laws.

[–]oyasuminasai50 51 insightful - 1 fun51 insightful - 0 fun52 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

And unlike emo, enby has the political backing of powerful nonprofits like HRC and GLAAD.

[–]Aquadog 22 insightful - 8 fun22 insightful - 7 fun23 insightful - 8 fun -  (0 children)

"I'm an emo kid, nonconforming as can be. You'd be non conforming too if you looked just like me."

[–]abyss_sith 8 insightful - 2 fun8 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

its much more dangerous than just being emo was, are these teenagers likely to grow out of it, or to just get more and more deluded since most of the world for some reason is promoting and buying into this shit now

[–]Capnmath 11 insightful - 2 fun11 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

At least as an emo kid we had fun going to concerts and after we grew up we just got a haircut and moved on.

[–]sisterinsomnia 71 insightful - 2 fun71 insightful - 1 fun72 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

Correct. The only way someone can identify as nonbinary is if others identify with the sexist and retrogressive binary gender roles and stereotypes. So the statement is not only about the nonbinary person but about everyone else, too.

[–][deleted] 13 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 0 fun14 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Exactly.

[–]oyasuminasai50 37 insightful - 2 fun37 insightful - 1 fun38 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

Enby is absolute nonsense. Every generation of teens has a subculture. Hippies, punk, goth, emo, scene. Enby is no different. I sympathize because all teens are trying to cultivate a sense of uniqueness, trying to figure out where to align themselves socially. They want to belong to a group but also want to retain a sense of individuality. I blame adults for promulgating the idea that enby is the same as being same-sex attracted or even being trans with persistent, lifelong gender dysphoria.

[–]NeedMoreCoffee 22 insightful - 1 fun22 insightful - 0 fun23 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

All those sub cultures you mentioned all had art scenes, fashion and music scenes attached to it though. They were about creation and exploring thoughts and feelings.

Enby is all about narcissism and destruction. That's it. Nothing is created except insanity.

[–]Esseteee 33 insightful - 3 fun33 insightful - 2 fun34 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

Non binary is a sexist term if you hear any one using it call them out

[–]tarun 30 insightful - 4 fun30 insightful - 3 fun31 insightful - 4 fun -  (1 child)

It's just sexist bullshit.

I have a friend on Facebook who posted this quote: 'I'm a rare species, not a stereotype'. Because men and women are just stereotypes, duh.

Hilariously enough, the person who said that, Ivan Coyote, looks like a very stereotypical butch lesbian.

[–]Shesstealthy 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Who DOESN'T like to think of themselves as rare and special?

I'm an individual and so are my friends who dress like me!!!

[–]Agodachi 31 insightful - 1 fun31 insightful - 0 fun32 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Nonbinary makes me roll my eyes so hard every time I see it. The females I know who claim to be nonbinary exhibit a strong "I'm not like other girls" energy. And they all got this cringiness behavior too.

[–]Anandamide 25 insightful - 2 fun25 insightful - 1 fun26 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

"Ugh, I hate labels. I'm not THIS label, I'm THAT label, duh!" This obsession over new and exciting identities is exhausting, so self-absorbed and ultimately tedious. I'd rather be out living and creating experiences that influence my perception of the world than obsessively navel-gazing about how I want other people to describe me.

[–]TrotRadFemAlly 23 insightful - 1 fun23 insightful - 0 fun24 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

The non binary fad is a misogynistic one.

[–]materialrealityplz 22 insightful - 2 fun22 insightful - 1 fun23 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Yup. They think the rest of us women (and men) are walking sexist stereotypes I guess. Also 'non-binary' is part of the reason why we're being called 'uterus-havers' and such, to be inclusive.

They also say it's a gender, but then some go on to actually deny they are biologically male or female and want 'non-binary' on official documents as their sex.

They could be courageous and help fight the stupid stereotypes that exist for women (and men), but instead they are just interested in themselves and their 'uniqueness'. So instead they are bringing back and reinforcing dumb old sexist stereotypes. Because you have to define what a woman/man is to identify out of it.

[–]yousaythosethings 20 insightful - 1 fun20 insightful - 0 fun21 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I just saw another proud lesbian come out as non-binary on YouTube the other day. What the hell is wrong with being a masculine lesbian? What lesbian identifies with gender stereotypes/roles? We're not partnering with men and having kids, which are the two biggest gender roles prescribed for women. This is really just erasing female homosexuality all together.

[–][deleted] 19 insightful - 1 fun19 insightful - 0 fun20 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Hbo had a (brazilian) show where the main character is a non binary, a girl that cuts her hair short and dresses boyish.. why the hell she isn't a girl? Because of short hair? Pants? Because she takes no shit? How far backwards could you go huh it's so sexist and I don't get how people just accept it.. though they do say "you don't have to understand, just accept" a lot. I think even the girl in the show say something similar at some point. It just drives me nuts thinking about it! "Don't question it. Accept it."

[–]Shesstealthy 19 insightful - 1 fun19 insightful - 0 fun20 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Teen me would one million percent be a trans enby pansexual. Which would translate into a straight girl with theoretical bi-curiosity who likes playing male roles because they're more interesting and isn't completely obsessed with getting married and housework and the usual pop icons.

[–]worried19 17 insightful - 1 fun17 insightful - 0 fun18 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

This really concerns me but I wanna stay on that sub.

I'd try your best to be subtly GC. Maybe you can provoke some thought in these kids about what they're saying.

I've seen people in total seriousness write "men, women, and enbies" like they're some actual third sex.

[–]Anna_Nym 17 insightful - 1 fun17 insightful - 0 fun18 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

To me, this is more about the destabilizing force of the Internet and LGBTQ+ organizations abandoning safeguarding. If you actively promote the idea that men and women are feelings, and being a man or woman means you deeply identify with the feeling of manness and feeling of womanness, of course teens and many adults are going to think they're non-binary!

Because how many people really, truly feel like a man or a woman as opposed to simply recognizes their biological reality as man/woman? What does it even mean to feel like a man or a woman? So expose a teen to Gender Spectrum sex ed content, reinforce this with Tumbr/Tumblr-esque social media bubbles, and of course, there will be a ton of enbies. Generally, if you ask, they will be basing their ideas of woman and man on sexist stereotypes. But since it's now literal violence to ask questions and you may be literally killing them to point out those stereotypes, no one can push back.

There also is no cost to the enby identity. No one needs to make a physical committment. Trans activism also expects women to broaden our definitions to include enbies in our spaces and language--even though this is wildly inconsistent with the tenets of trans activism. So enbies don't even have to sacrifice that. Instead, the burden is placed on women.

It is amazing how effective this rebranding of patriarchy is.

[–]missdaisycan 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Umm. Amazing and utterly terrifying.

[–]Pomegranate 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (5 children)

I was listening to one of my idols on a postcast. Extremely skilled, incredibly creative, intelligent woman. Just creates amazing work and is basically the only woman who does it. I didn't know she was non-binary and she started talking about it on the podcast. She was talking about the things that inspired her growing up and how society told her that girls don't like those things. Instead of saying "fuck that, girls can like anything they want" and deciding to break those restrictions, she agreed and said "you're right, I must not actually be a woman, I'm nonbinary" Like she literally said she realized she was nonbinary because she liked so many things that girls aren't "supposed" to like. It was heartbreaking to hear this person that I idolized as one of the few women to succeed in her field say that she's not actually a woman because of it. So disappointing and sad. Just like what you like, don't let society tell you that you're not a real woman because you like x. Or man. You're a man and you like makeup? Great, that doesn't make you a woman, just be a man and wear what you want and break the restrictions that say men can't or don't do that. They're reinforcing stereotypes and saying everyone who said women and men can't like or do x are right.

[–]oyasuminasai50 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

The ultimate irony is that enbies think they're smashing the gender binary. But by opting out of the binary, they're leaving the social definitions of man and woman (i.e. THE BINARY) totally unchallenged. Breaking the gender binary would be identifying as a man or woman despite identifying with things traditionally associated with the opposite sex.

[–]Pomegranate 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Exactly. She literally said "and that's how I knew I wasn't a woman" after listing the things she liked and how it was associated with men. So she flat out agreed with them that it's not for women and therefore because she liked it, she's not really a woman. Super fucked up. I just listened to it a few days ago and I'm still so disappointed. I tried to talk to my friend about it who also likes her and she just didn't get it. I don't see how it could be any more clear and obvious.

[–]oyasuminasai50 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Homophobes spent decades telling lesbian, gay, and bisexual people that their sexuality was a choice. So one of the critical values that came up with the LGBT "liberation" movement is that of self-identification. If you say you're this, you are that, full stop. No one should question you, no one should prod, no one should attempt to question your identity.

Unfortunately, with how divided as the culture is today, I'm afraid liberals took it too far in the opposite direction that now any identity that literally anyone can think of is automatically 100% valid. Even if it's a term you made up. Even if you're gender-conforming and heterosexual. Even if your own identities are internally inconsistent.

Now trans people who've endured a lifetime of gender dysphoria have to pretend they're the same as teenagers who until six months ago had no consternation about their gender whatsoever. LGB people have to share a space with any rando straight person who is "queer" for reasons they cannot even articulate.

[–]Pomegranate 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

Yeah she's a 35ish year old woman who is married to a man but identifies as LGBT because she "likes boy things"

Hell, was nonbinary even a thing when she was growing up? I'm mid-20s and it wasn't a thing when I was young. 35 seems old af to be saying she knew she was nonbinary when she was a little girl. Wtf. She's also okay with she/her pronouns. ???

[–]oyasuminasai50 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Non-binary certainly wasn't a thing like it is now. I'm forgiving of young teenagers who want to identify as non-binary... but once we get to people in their early 20s and older calling themselves non-binary and / or using they / them pronouns, it's just getting a little cringe-worthy.

[–]crodish 11 insightful - 3 fun11 insightful - 2 fun12 insightful - 3 fun -  (2 children)

Urgh this this this! I'm so fed up with the whole pronouns bullshit and they/them crap. You're not non-binary you're just a fucking snowflake like the millions of other snowflakes who think being an 'other' is cooler than what you literally are

[–]Beth-BR[S] 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Litteraly most of the post there are "my mom is so transphobic she won't accept my pronounce as non binary". And like fuck off changing your pronounce is not only fucking stupid, pointless only for attention and playing victim it is NOT transitioning. You're demeaning struggles of people who have actually fought their whole life for their identity. Just shut up. I've never been an average teenager I live alone since I was 16 and let's just say I already have bigger problems than someone not wanting to call me by some stupid pronounce instead of just accepting your actual gender.

[–]reluctant_commenter 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Hey, I've lived alone and independently since I was 20 and I just wanted to say, living alone since you were 16 sounds pretty crazy. I hope you're doing okay with everything else you've going on. If you need to vent or anything feel free to message. :)

[–]LoganBlade 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

A friend of mine is "Non-bianary" and it seems like she is gender critical but just doesn't have the language. I think a lot of those people share GC beliefs but think the solution is opting out of gender.

[–]Realwoman 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

What is enby?

[–]bluetinfoilhat 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

non binary.

[–]Daraincork 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I'd love to be polymorphously perverse instead of a boring vanilla straight. It is not given to many though , lets face it!

[–]genre 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I got shadowbanned from there for my shittalking against the nonbinaries lol

[–]Daraincork 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I'd love to have been polymorphously perverse instead of a boring old vanilla straight. But that is not given to many , let's face it!