Are these people serious?

chandra · 2020-10-05T07:45:28+00:00

I've said it before and I'll say it again - the only people who could believe this are

'enlightened' teenagers who want to question everything about society and don't have the sex/relationships experience to know better (possibly haven't even finished puberty)
trans people who are personally invested in this being true
maybe also some bisexuals who can't relate to monosexuality

I had similar 'enlightened' views about polyamory before I had any relationship experience. 'No one person can satisfy all your needs,' said teenage me, 'so it makes much more sense to be poly.' Turns out in the real world most people don't have time for more than one relationship (let alone one with kids), most people only get deeply attached to one person at a time anyway, and you can't easily debate yourself out of feelings like jealousy just because they're not logical.

A sliver of real world experience will destroy an entire blog's worth of theory when it comes to sexuality.

chandra · 2022-04-10T18:06:04+00:00

I would put it down to a mix of

the type of person a volunteer moderator position attracts (extremely online activist shut-ins), and
actively recruiting minority representation, and
once they're in a few of these positions they have the power to appoint others from their own social circles

chandra · 2021-04-10T20:29:17+00:00

Seriously, it's so stupid that we're expected to respect this youth subculture as a serious human rights thing. Non-binaries are just today's goths and emos. Imagine making public policy to avoid triggering goths: this is the same thing.

chandra · 2021-11-28T19:24:01+00:00

You say you’re attracted to us

Doubt

chandra · 2021-03-20T21:45:54+00:00

Even beyond the scandal of transing kids, the very existence of detransitioners casts doubt on all trans people's claimed identities and rights. Their demands are a lot less convincing when any one of the trans people bullying their way into our spaces and dating pools, and insisting we accept that they are and always were real women/men, could detrans at any moment.

chandra · 2022-04-11T18:47:59+00:00

Lesbians say 'we don't want to sleep with transwomen,' and TRAs think they're being so clever and reasonable when they dodge the point and say 'stop being crazy, no-one is saying you have to sleep with someone with a penis.' I.e. lesbians are still expected to be open to transwomen who've had fake vagina surgery.

chandra · 2021-03-16T08:24:18+00:00

That's just the messaging for outsiders, their way of debating themselves into people's pants and recruiting children who are too naive to know better.

chandra · 2021-10-20T07:45:34+00:00

I don’t get why anyone would say they focus all their attraction on genitalia. That’s my last consideration on the “do I find this person attractive?”

Someone needs to introduce these people to the term 'motivated reasoning.' They've constructed a completely new understanding of human sexuality, one that's completely alien to the experience of 99% of people, solely in order to allow themselves to believe they're attractive.

chandra · 2022-03-31T23:06:43+00:00

The unsolvable problem of needing to persuade actual lesbians to stick around in a lesbian community to give it a sense of genuine lesbianism, but not let them talk about actual lesbianism because that's too invalidating.

chandra · 2021-10-04T07:43:41+00:00

Also as a trauma survivor, I've been completely astounded by how healing it is to be in a space where I do not have to justify a no! Non-verbal consent is practiced in these spaces which means if someone approaches you, you can put your hand up or push their hand away and they respect that. it's so freeing to not have to justify your existence there OR justify/explain a no. Emotional boundaries are respected. I can just exist there, and be, and do what I want or not what I want in peace.

These people just have no self awareness, do they?

chandra · 2021-06-06T09:12:58+00:00

What annoys me more than the 'take the girldick, bigot' psychos are the ones who say we're allowed to want only dicks/vaginas but only if that includes post-op trans genitals. THEY ARE NOT THE SAME! But of course they can't admit that because that would mean admitting that there's a valid, material, non-bigoted reason to permanently exclude all trans people from your dating pool regardless of what efforts they make to transition, and that would bring their whole fantasy world crashing down.

Also this post is classic motivated reasoning: 'Real pure love is only based on standards I can meet; wanting something I can't give is immature, petty and bigoted, and people should stop it.'

chandra · 2020-12-11T10:30:14+00:00

This keeps coming up, I assume because the people writing these columns don’t have any understanding of sexual relationships?

I think it's less ignorance and more motivated reasoning. Just as Upton Sinclair said "it is difficult to get a man to understand something, when his salary depends on his not understanding it," so too is it difficult to get trans people to understand real-life sexuality when real-life sexuality gives them little hope of finding the love they want.

chandra · 2021-11-09T18:45:35+00:00

Real orientation: being exclusively attracted to people you develop an emotional bond with

Fake orientation: being exclusively attracted to your own sex

chandra · 2021-08-03T07:37:14+00:00

People are attracted to people, not body parts

If this was true, you wouldn't need to keep reminding everyone.

Also, as is so often the case, the person making the completely outlandish 'logical' argument about how human sexuality should be has 'autistic' in his bio, explaining everything.

chandra · 2021-07-16T11:38:37+00:00

These sorts of posts are probably all just transwomen anonymously validating each other. That or super enthusiastic 'queer' 13 year olds. I can't imagine any actual adult lesbians or bisexual women, even TRAs, deciding on a whim to make one of these infantilising "you are valid and you are seen" announcements. But maybe I'm naïve.

chandra · 2021-03-21T23:44:24+00:00

They don't understand that to most people outside their queer social circles, TWAW/TMAM is just a polite fiction. Some exceptionally well-passing trans people might be accepted as effectively real men/women in most contexts, but that's on a case-by-case basis and much different from what TRAs are pushing (i.e. that any obvious male who says so is literally just as much a woman as your own mother), and even then it only goes so far.

chandra · 2022-05-15T16:37:54+00:00

It's a common theme for TRAs to judge boundaries and desires that don't accommodate them to be 'unhealthy.'

You want a partner of the same sex? You should probably see a psychiatrist about that.

chandra · 2020-11-08T11:24:29+00:00

Well (from what I recall reading on this) the main designer came out as trans and the dev team is like 40% trans, so this is less cynical corporate marketing and more 'trans designers make trans character,' which you can hardly complain about.

chandra · 2021-02-16T09:42:09+00:00

Not OP but, from what I can tell, they're envious. Or at least, a lot of them are. This particular person's twitter account really made that click for me. She posts about both wanting to be thin and hating thin people, and clearly wants to be a gay man while posting about hating actual gay men. They're like incels, who hate 'chads' even though they clearly want to be one.

chandra · 2022-04-25T07:34:49+00:00

Oh look, another autistic bisexual who can't relate to same-sex attraction and therefore proclaims it to not exist. How original.

chandra · 2021-12-22T00:08:31+00:00

In this case it's regular-old religious homophobia rather than queer attention seeking: they're both Mormons, he's suppressing his sexuality because he doesn't want to be single for the rest of his life, and she (for whatever reason) is content to go along with it.

chandra · 2021-08-01T23:25:28+00:00

I'd swear trans 'rights' used to be about being kind to people with an otherwise-untreatable mental illness. How that has turned into debating whether it's okay for gay men to not be into female bodies is just baffling.

chandra · 2021-03-09T01:00:08+00:00

It makes me think all of these people are fucking virgins, or have never experienced a neo-vagina (barf) up close and personal and are just parroting what they read on the internet.

That's exactly it. On the LGBTQ Megathread on r/unpopularopinion I saw one of the frequent trans posters who is a self-described bisexual virgin minor insisting that a) a decent neovagina is indistinguishable from the real deal, and b) a vagina is (from embryo development) an inverted penis anyway so a neovagina is fundamentally no different to a real one, and cunnilingus is fundamentally no different to sucking dick. I wanted to ask how a virgin child can be so confident in lecturing adults about sexuality, but there's really no point arguing with these people, they'll never change their minds because they start from the conclusion that a trans woman is a literal woman in every sense that matters and then work backwards to justify it.

chandra · 2021-03-06T12:01:24+00:00

LMAO, a TRA has already seized r/superlesbian to prevent this movement taking hold

chandra · 2021-03-06T11:37:15+00:00

Love it. I'm not happy that trans people are muddying the language we already used for ourselves, but that's probably a lost battle at this point so supergay works for me. We need language to be able to clearly communicate who we are.

chandra · 2020-10-05T17:39:03+00:00

My thoughts exactly. I think if you could filter out under-18s and trans people you'd rarely see any of this radical trans nonsense.

And the frustrating thing is that I think most of these woke trans-ally teens are genuinely well-meaning. Love hearts not parts, be as accepting as possible, don't make anyone feel excluded. They legitimately don't understand that sexuality doesn't work that way. But they cross a line when they start trying to police other people's behaviour and desires.

chandra · 2021-11-27T23:35:34+00:00

Lol they think that simply calling something a 'penis' is a magic spell that means a straight woman will become attracted to it.

It's amazing how TRAs will insist that labels should be descriptive not prescriptive, but then go on to use their new definitions to make demands of people. "We have decided that 'penis' now includes pork sausages, and since you have said you are attracted to 'penises' that means that you are now attracted to women with pork sausages grafted onto their vaginas."

chandra · 2021-05-28T18:06:19+00:00

I was introduced to yaoi at a young age and obsessing with reading/writing it for nearly a decade helped me understand that I’m a trans gay guy too

Why do these girls not realise that yaoi is written by women, for women? You can't learn anything about gay men from reading yaoi, it's all women's fantasies about something they can never really understand. If you, a woman, relate to the characters in yaoi, that means the yaoi is fulfilling it's intended purpose for you as a woman. You aren't relating to gay men, you're relating to the fantasies of other women.

chandra · 2020-10-29T12:29:55+00:00

Interesting article. I can definitely understand the idea that young men would get sucked into slice-of-life anime. I saw a few back when I was very into anime in my teens, and definitely found myself wishing that I could vacation in that life (the hyper-dedicated group of friends who spend all their time having fun together and have no real responsibilities) even though, being in high school with a big group of friends, my life was already as close as it gets to that in the real-world anyway! I can easily imagine how a lonely person could get totally sucked in and end up in an online slice-of-life anime girl LARP.

Seems a stretch to go from that to identifying as a girl though. Surely you'd have to really hate who you are and what your real life is like to actually create an entirely new anime girl persona rather than just incorporate your actual self into the fantasy. But even then it seems like a leap from role-playing a girl and actually identifying as one.

chandra · 2022-03-29T07:40:56+00:00

This is similar to the whole "you're attracted to someone new when they're clothed so genitals don't matter in attraction" argument, that only things that affect your attraction are what you can actually physically see in the moment. They choose not to understand the idea of mental image and assumptions because that takes away their ability to claim to be the same as 'cis' people until the pants come off.

chandra · 2021-11-03T22:04:15+00:00

For those who can't see it, it says

tras crack me up bc they’re like ‘if you were in love with someone and then found out they weren’t the same sex as you would you stop fucking/loving them the way you had” and i’m like “if you found out i mixed dog shit into the brownies you had been enjoying would you stop eating”

chandra · 2021-02-15T08:43:16+00:00

In principle I'm not against reclaiming it, though I recognise that I probably only feel like that since, being semi-closeted and in my twenties, I've never experienced the word queer being used as a slur against me or anyone I know personally. I do hate it though. I see it as a word not for LGBTQ in general, but for members a specific worldview and movement that embraces all the nonbinary neopronoun 'exploring gender' weirdos. If someone called me queer, I'd cringe because I don't want to be connected to all of that, not because they had used an old slur.

chandra · 2021-01-09T17:59:41+00:00

God, these people are infuriating. They've outlawed any lesbian space that doesn't pander to trans people, and now they're getting triggered by a heavily trans-moderated sub whose official policy states uncompromisingly that all lesbians are attracted to trans women, just because some of few remaining actual lesbians aren't' sufficiently ashamed of not liking dick.

chandra · 2020-10-02T17:36:25+00:00

What catches my attention is that even the seemingly reasonable ones still specify that most gay men don't want a pre-op trans man. In these debates about trans dating and 'genital preference,' it seems like even those seemingly reasonable trans people that accept genital preference still assume that a preference for vagina includes a vaginoplasty, and a preference for penis includes phalloplasty/metoidioplasty.

I think many of those seemingly reasonable trans people would also become indignant at the truth that most gay men don't even want a trans man with a crude fake dick.

chandra · 2022-01-16T20:31:43+00:00

I know and accept that many people have a preference as to what their partner has down below and it's never something I would make anyone feel guilty about

There it is yet again: they paint themselves as not being demanding by saying they accept 'genital preferences,' but the implication of that framing is that it's not acceptable to reject trans people who've had SRS.

Most gay men and lesbians are attracted to the whole same-sex person; even if surgically-constructed genitals were perfect it wouldn't be enough. TRAs just don't get that, it doesn't fit into their worldview.

chandra · 2021-07-09T20:26:57+00:00

This is the fault of the non-binaryism bullshit. It wasn't even 10 years ago that the progressive position was that liking ballet and make-up didn't make a boy any less of a boy. Toy shops were removing gender labels from their aisles so kids didn't feel railroaded into Barbie or Transformers based on their sex. It seemed like a progressive gender revolution.

But now, in order for the non-binaries to be special, they need to cram the rest of us back into strict gender boxes: for 'non-binary' to actually be a meaningful thing requires that the rest of us be 'binary,' i.e. simple, contented gender stereotypes. It takes a special sort of narcissism to produce material like this because any normal person would realise that literally everyone is non-binary by these standards, but the message here is clearly that the vast majority of people are happy on Planet Boy or Planet Girl and only a special few have personalities outside these rigid stereotypes.

Hell, this is really even transphobic, because it basically says transwomen who aren't stereotypically feminine aren't actually women. What happened to 'trans women don't owe you femininity?' It's almost as though gender ideology is a self-contradictory mess.

chandra · 2021-04-02T20:21:44+00:00

They just can't comprehend that there are regular gay men who don't believe in gender ideology. To them, every normal, well-adjusted person happily accepts as common sense that any female can become a literal man just by saying so, and only a fringe of irrational, far-right infiltrators disagrees. I'm a gay male socialist and I don't believe a word of gender identity nonsense.

chandra · 2021-02-16T23:10:34+00:00

I think "trans lesbians" is referring to the straight guy in the corner breaking into the happy lesbian space

chandra · 2022-04-15T10:18:54+00:00

they see a "best of both worlds" boy pussy and tit buffet. 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮

Ah yes, tits and pussy, truly the best of both worlds.

chandra · 2021-09-06T19:55:19+00:00

Seems pretty selfish. He doesn't like hookup culture so he's happy to see it taken away from gay men who do? If he knows "so many guys who want nothing to do with gay culture as it's been offered to us" then why can they all not just go and live their lives as they see fit, and respect the right of the other gays to do the same?

chandra · 2021-04-18T08:51:49+00:00

none of the senses humans possess can perceive gender others were assigned at birth. It’s therefore impossible to be attracted or not attracted to them based on it.

It's a wonder humans ever managed to reproduce at all considering it's apparently a total crapshoot whether a person you're interacting with is male or female.

Just because a small handful of trans people successfully pass, that doesn't mean that we suddenly can't tell males from females, it just means that our ability to do so can be deceived (and only at great effort and expense, and only by those lucky enough to have a body amenable to passing to begin with). Like, you can create a convincing 3D illusion on the ground, but that doesn't mean I don't generally have the ability to perceive depth.

Obviously TRAs need this bullshit to be true, but I can never tell whether they've actually made themselves truly believe it or whether it's just gaslighting.

chandra · 2021-04-04T12:28:58+00:00

When trans activists make the argument that we can't rule out all trans people because there's nothing they all have in common, that's the point where there's no point continuing the conversation, because it's such obvious bullshit that there's no way they're arguing in good faith. No trans man has a real penis. No trans woman has a real vagina. Yes we can tell the difference (well, I can't speak for vaginas, but I know a real penis when I meet one), and yes it matters. But obviously most trans people aren't going to admit 'yes, there's a tangible, meaningful difference that makes it completely reasonable not to date us even after we've spent tens of thousands of dollars irreversibly altering our bodies.'

chandra · 2021-02-19T13:22:34+00:00

And yet they still feel so invalidated! They will never find a solution that satisfies them because there is an irresolvable tension between making real lesbians want to stick around, and heavily policing what real lesbians want to discuss because it's invalidating to be reminded that nearly all real lesbians only like real women and not obvious men in frumpy dresses.

chandra · 2021-01-22T23:41:56+00:00

Some standout comments:

And yes, it is possible for an amab nonbinary person to identify as a lesbian

So the barrier to men entering lesbian spaces has been lowered even further: they don't even have to identify as women anymore!

maybe the dictionary definition for lesbian should expand a bit? Especially when considering the community aspect - I feel like the lesbian identity and community describe more than sexual attraction.

Rule 1 of trans ideology: every concept must be redefined in a way that it can be attained by even low-effort trans people.

in general i don’t like people saying they like people or don’t like people depending on what they were assigned at birth

Classic trans delusional rhetoric.

Words and terms are invented, fall out of favor, or are co-opted in the queer community so rapidly that its hard to get a read on what anything actually means.

Hit the nail on the head there. Although this person thinks it's 'cool.'

[Regarding being both non-binary and woman:] 'woman' has never felt like an accurate descriptor, but there are parts of my life that shaped who I am that are inextricably tied to being a woman (like nearly dying in childbirth)

This 'enby woman' is skirting dangerously close to TERF rhetoric there, saying that childbirth is inextricably tied to being a woman. Of all the things these TRAs say, this was the only comment on the page that genuinely surprised me.

chandra · 2022-03-22T08:41:42+00:00

Of course they will! Gay men like "penis," which TRAs have redefined to mean anything phallic in shape that can be used for sex. Any gay men who still limit penises to the sex organ that males are born with must not have received the latest TRA update patch to their sexuality.

chandra · 2022-01-09T12:36:04+00:00

Also it doesn't really matter if estrogenized dicks offer less of a threat, because not every transwoman is going to take hormones (immediately or ever), and TRAs are never going to say that pre-hormone transwomen have regular man dicks.

chandra · 2021-02-16T19:32:40+00:00

Just one of those two face reaction memes. On top, a photo of a woman who pulls a disgusted face at the word 'men'. Below, the woman pulls a curious/interested face at the word 'dick.'

chandra · 2020-12-30T13:01:53+00:00

I always wonder why it's just genitals that are a gender-neutral body feature in transland. Why not the rest of the body? Why not 'some men have breasts and if you won't get with that then your chest preferences are transphobic.' Or 'some women have full beards, deal with it.' I don't see any difference between this and bashing genital preferences in principle.

Rather than an objective and consistent theory of gender, bodies, and sexual attraction, it sorta looks like the body part preferences that are labelled transphobic happen to be the ones that most trans people can't/won't alter, as though it's actually just about demanding people meet them half way.

chandra · 2020-12-18T11:39:38+00:00

I sure hope my organ donor registration has an opt out for this if it becomes a standard procedure. Man who lost his penis in an accident? Fine. Trans man? No way.

chandra · 2022-03-26T10:37:23+00:00

So, in summary:

There is no such thing as a male or female body, a man could have literally any body configuration
Despite this, trans men having "a masculine face, body hair, beards, deep voice, more muscular physique" means that men having sex with them is "deffo gay af"
However, seeing your partner as a collection of sexual parts rather than a human being is transphobic (and misogynistic if it's a woman)

Very consistent philosophy we're dealing with here.

chandra · 2021-03-10T22:20:08+00:00

I was considering making a text post along these lines just now and then I saw this! Yes this echoes my thoughts exactly. A large number of the trans rights brigade online are virgin children who think they know how sexuality works better than adults. And it's so frustrating because their devotion to absolute inclusiveness is well-meaning (Geek Social Fallacy #1, anyone?), and they simply don't have the sexual development and life experience to understand why sexuality doesn't work that way, or what it's like to be a woman in a man's world and why women might not feel safe letting males self-identify into their safe spaces (hell, as a gay adult man I don't understand what life is like for women, but it's clear enough that it's tough). These children's real-life contact with trans people is probably limited to seeing their trans school friends struggling to fit in and feeling sympathy for them.

That's not an excuse though, just an explanation of why I think they aren't worth arguing with. They're literally incapable of understanding the opposing viewpoint. Not that the adult TRAs on Twitter are much better.

chandra · 2021-02-15T12:26:51+00:00

I find it ironic that we’re expected to be okay with the use of the word "queer" as a signifier for people like ourselves, but the word "homosexual" is "offensive". No, a homosexual is a person who is exclusively attracted to the same sex. But it makes sense that radical queer activists are offended by this obviously inoffensive word because the word proofs that biological sex is real and that you cannot run away from it.

Yeah I think it's interesting: as far as I'm aware we'd generally moved away from the word 'homosexual' as sounding very clinical, but now that TRAs are working to muddy the definitions of our language it suddenly feels very relevant to have a word to explicitly mean same-sex (as opposed to gender identity) attracted.

chandra · 2022-04-20T07:47:42+00:00

Theres no problem having a genital preference, if you dont like a penis then you dont like a penis.

However you were extremely bioessential about it, to the point I wonder if you straight up called her a man. Its definitely implied by the way you said it. (Especially with telling us the bit about your past trauma with men. Because while its awful and my heart goes out to you that you went through that, nothing about that experience ties in to this one, nothing about this woman ties her to men at all, which makes me raise my eyebrows about why you brought it up)

I hate how they play these dumb word games. 'You were assaulted by a man with his penis? I can't possibly imagine how you draw a connection between that experience and this one, because this person with a penis was a total 100% woman with no possible connection to men whatsoever.'

chandra · 2022-03-15T08:46:51+00:00

Imagine a group of aliens landed on Earth out of nowhere and announced "Attention, lesbians! We transspecies women are just as much lesbians as you are, we have always been a part of the community, and the only reason you don't want to have sex with us is because you've been actively brainwashed against us your entire lives by cis-human-normative society."

That is how I perceive these arguments of 'transphobia' in dating.

chandra · 2022-03-12T21:42:26+00:00

From the context I guess it's another term for the 'split-attraction model:' you can be 'romantically' attracted to a sex without being 'sexually' attracted to it (e.g. wanting to date women romantically whilst having no sexual desire for them).

I believe it originated as a way of articulating the desires of 'asexuals' who still want to date, and bisexuals who only want relationships with one sex. But these people take it to the extreme and full-on believe that everyone literally has a 'romantic' orientation which is completely separate to their 'sexual' orientation and so you can get people who are e.g. sexually attracted only to men but who only want to have romantic relationships with women. Which sounds like a load of nonsense to me, honestly, but it's a part of these people's belief system.

chandra · 2021-09-30T17:22:42+00:00

So lesbianism doesn't just include transwomen now, but also includes 'transfems'? Men who just feel kind of feminine but won't go all the way and call themselves women?

How is that even trans anyway? Isn't that just a regular old feminine man?

chandra · 2021-04-27T07:44:59+00:00

They demand that even awful transwomen be referred to with their chosen pronouns because to do otherwise implies that all transwomen aren't real women, that your use of chosen pronouns for 'good' transwomen is just a courtesy rather than because you truly believe they are who they say they are. If a real woman did something evil it would never occur to you to start calling her 'him,' so to do so for evil transwomen implies that you're always carrying the thought that transwomen are really men and that their womanhood can be revoked. Which they are, but from a trans perspective I think this all makes sense.

chandra · 2021-03-06T16:37:40+00:00

Nice, but it's still Reddit so it'd be banned the moment superlesbians started posting in it :(

chandra · 2020-08-21T18:08:32+00:00

This is pretty horrific. As a man, I feel so sad for men who have bottom surgery, so bleak and empty at the thought of what it would be like to live the rest of my life in that state. I have to comfort myself with the thought that they genuinely see their surgical results as vaginas, even if I can only understand them as mutilated penises. I almost want to play along with their delusions just because of how they might feel about it if they come to see themselves how I see them.

chandra · 2022-05-07T15:44:56+00:00

Yeah, like what's the endgame for them? Like do they expect us to all detransition all of a sudden? What if some of us refuse? Are they gonna throw us in jail? Kill us? I mean, real talk time, a lot of them would never admit to it or even themselves. But that's the natural conclusion of their worldview.

What's with the histrionics? 'TERFs' just want men to fuck off out of women's spaces. That's literally it. They only want for you the same thing they want for all other men.

chandra · 2022-04-12T07:45:31+00:00

The joke is that her boyfriend doesn't realise that her enlarged-by-testosterone clit is not representative of normal women's clits, so he thinks that men who can't find the clit must be blind.

chandra · 2022-02-07T19:09:51+00:00

No, they think that you can just ignore the dick and do other sexual activities instead. As though lesbians don't actively want a vagina so much as just the lack of involvement of a penis. You can see plenty of TRAs on Twitter saying things like 'genital preferences are transphobic because you're making cisnormative assumptions about how pre-op trans people want to have sex. A pre-op transwoman probably wouldn't even be comfortable using her penis during sex. You must have very boring sex if you can't figure out something that works.'

chandra · 2022-01-04T08:43:58+00:00

It's not wrong to say 'I like penis', but it is wrong to say 'I like penis, and therefore I don't like trans men.' because you're assuming all trans men don't have penises, which isn't true.

These people are so delusional. Phalloplasty is not a penis. No-one who has ever interacted with a real penis would think so. This could only be convincing if you see a penis as nothing more than a stick that goes in a hole. So it could only be convincing to a female virgin (or selfish lover, I guess).

chandra · 2021-12-18T15:10:30+00:00

Well the vast majority of people aren't attracted to a 'man' with a vagina/skin sausage or a 'woman' with a penis/open surgical wound so, in order to consider themselves attractive and justify their demands for sexual consideration, they've had to construct a completely new understanding of sexuality where your partner's physical body doesn't actually matter and anyone who thinks it does has just been corrupted by 'cisnormative' society.

chandra · 2021-08-03T23:12:04+00:00

Well they can't attract people the conventional way, so they have to create social pressure for people to sleep with them.

chandra · 2021-08-03T16:53:45+00:00

Yes, I'm too quick to jump to the conclusion that someone who argues against 'genital preferences' is suffering from some sort of social disorder that prevents them from understanding the complexity of human sexuality, when it's equally possible that, being trans, they're simply deeply personally invested in the belief that genitals and sex are completely unrelated.

chandra · 2020-10-15T07:38:30+00:00

Imagine the personality it takes to, instead of accepting that most people don't want you for entirely understandable material reasons, come up with pages of sociological theory explaining how everyone would actually find you super desirable if only they hadn't been indoctrinated into feeling otherwise.

chandra · 2022-12-30T18:16:21+00:00

Gay person: don't call me queer, I still see it as a slur against people like me

TRAs: don't be a pussy, queer has been reclaimed, get with the times

also TRAs: we've decided to confiscate the word queer from you unless you have the right politics

chandra · 2022-04-24T11:21:39+00:00

Yeah, on Twitter I see a lot of "It's so shallow to care what genitals your partner has - yours sincerely an autistic bi/asexual trans teenager."

chandra · 2020-12-22T20:29:10+00:00

I think it's probably just that being a sex worker is a badge of honor in queer world, along with anything else that makes one, for want of a better phrase, sexually unconventional.

chandra · 2020-08-17T07:43:19+00:00

It's pretty obvious at this point that these people's entire worldview is built around their desire to get laid. Like, they feel excluded because so few people want to date trans, so they've redefined sex out of sexuality and decided any thought that they're sexually different to cis people is bigotry. If you ever wanted to argue 'all politics is sexual pathology,' trans ideas about sexuality are so obvious an example it feels like cheating.

It's equally obvious that it's not working, from the fact that they have to keep writing these essays and posting 'trans women are women' everywhere. Any man who must say 'I am a man' is no man.

chandra · 2022-04-24T11:14:11+00:00

I'm just a disabled, autistic, enby transbian

Right so you're a man who doesn't even identify as a woman and you're kicking up a stink about feeling excluded on an ostensibly lesbian sub. Like, no shit.

chandra · 2021-11-16T17:51:18+00:00

Seriously. "imagine caring about genitalia, all i need to know is how good their hugs are," says the flared asexual (who, from the immature sentiment, is presumably like 13 or something).

chandra · 2021-11-11T13:55:38+00:00

And that's why I'm just queer. Everyone's included. No ifs, ands, or buts. If you're queer? You're queer.

Well that is certainly very helpful for those who are trying to find communities of people who are like themselves.

chandra · 2021-07-25T00:20:12+00:00

I mean, even if the idea that "technically you can't exclude all trans people because some of us pass" is true, we can still exclude like 99% of you.

Trans exclusion in dating is the result of decades of misusing us and our bodies for entertainment and lust.

Erm, I'm pretty sure it's the result of you not being the right sex.

A lot of you are dating trans people right now, and you have no idea. And the reason you have no idea is because your “wives,” “girlfriends,” “husbands,” and “boyfriends,” are terrified to tell you. Because they know how you feel about trans people, so they’re hiding from you. They’re afraid of what you will do to them when they come out.

Well maybe don't continue to date someone you know wouldn't want you if they knew who you really were?

It's as astounding as it is pathetic that trans activists have constructed such a radical, convoluted new theory of human sexuality purely to justify their demands for sex. Imagine the mental gymnastics needed to believe that human sexuality doesn't involve biological sex in any way.

chandra · 2021-04-11T13:31:09+00:00

Who knew there were so many ways to not be interested in something.

This is the result of the culture of absolute inclusion among woke students today. Refusing to genuinely and enthusiastically believe in someone's self-declared identity, no matter how ridiculous, is the ultimate sin; if someone wants to identify with a particular label or be part of a particular community, then that label/community must be redefined in order to accommodate them.

Oh, unless that self-declared identity is exclusive same-sex attraction, of course.

chandra · 2022-02-06T17:52:16+00:00

Lol this is like flat earthers trying to come up with explanations for why all their experiments show the Earth to be round. Of course everything is suddenly ten times more confusing and complicated if you outlaw the obvious answers (that most people are heterosexual regardless of their 'gender identity') on the grounds that they're heretical.

chandra · 2021-08-08T14:48:36+00:00

Yeah I always read 'gender euphoria' that way lol

chandra · 2021-01-10T02:37:22+00:00

Lol it does! Must be so frustrating. No matter how aggressively they police the community, in order to get real validation they're going to have to interact with lesbians eventually, and it's going to shatter their delusions every time.

chandra · 2020-11-20T14:02:00+00:00

The only way for them to infiltrate hitherto simple concepts like 'man' and 'homosexual' is to inject a ton of nuance and complexity into them. The way they describe how complicated it is to define 'man' and 'woman,' it seems like a miracle humans have managed to reproduce for thousands of generations.

chandra · 2022-04-02T16:54:32+00:00

I mean it's better than genital multilation but still insane.

Don't speak too soon, she's had a phalloplasty now and is "feeling amazing comfort. I feel normal and equal to cis men in every way. Dysphoria never crosses my mind. Feel beautiful, sexy and calm." This despite "The phallus does not have any sensation other than some minimal one on the bottom lower half where the urethra is. It doesn’t bother me. I can orgasm from tugging on my dick which moves the tdick underneath."

Which, genuinely good for her if this has relieved her dysphoria, but she still can't expect other people to pretend this is a penis.

chandra · 2021-06-10T23:26:19+00:00

Devil's advocate, because we need to understand the Trans position instead of straw-manning it:

Merely mentioning sex in a discussion about trans people does actually undermine their gender identity: to them sex is (or should be) as socially relevant as whether you've had your tonsils removed, and bringing it up is nothing more than a way to separate trans women from actual women. Which, let's be honest, it is: we all know when we say that trans women are biologically male we're saying that their 'gender identity' doesn't mean shit and that their male sex is what matters most, that trans women are at most honorary women, but not women in any way that actually matters.

chandra · 2021-04-12T20:14:46+00:00

The new TRA definition of lesbian I've seen quoted on Twitter as though it's totally obvious is 'non-men attracted to non-men.'

chandra · 2021-02-28T23:11:27+00:00

I suspect it's simply grown big enough that it's time to send in the recovery squad to tie up the escapee lesbians and bring them back into the waiting arms of the men in dresses at r/actuallesbians.

chandra · 2020-11-19T13:04:43+00:00

I think I found another highly appropriate one https://lgbta.wikia.org/wiki/Delusogender

chandra · 2020-09-23T08:29:02+00:00

Well it's just a logical extension of 'TWAW'. If lesbians are attracted to women, and TWAW, then trans women are a part of lesbian sexuality in principle and it would only be individual preference that ruled them out, in the same way that obese women are a part of lesbian sexuality even though they would fall outside many individual lesbians' preferences.

Saying that trans women fall outside lesbian orientation is saying they aren't really women. They're not, but obviously that view is unacceptable these days.

chandra · 2023-02-07T17:49:54+00:00

Me: I'm only attracted to people who have heads

TRA logic: OMG CHILDREN HAVE HEADS YOU PEDO!

chandra · 2021-07-27T16:38:44+00:00

I'd guess satire/false flag: to me, 'check your thinking!' reads too obviously like a thought-crime propaganda poster to be something someone would write unironically. Plus I don't think any TRA is going to outright say 'same-sex attraction is transphobic,' I think they're more likely to say 'saying you're same-sex attracted is a transphobic dogwhistle.' I.e. the former implies same-sex attraction at least actually exists, when in fact they believe that attraction is gender-based and the very idea of same-sex attraction is just transphobic rhetoric.

Or maybe I'm just splitting hairs.

chandra · 2021-05-28T07:43:17+00:00

Narcissism and fragility are two sides of the same coin.

chandra · 2021-05-01T20:47:47+00:00

I'm not really a fan, but I'm not staunchly against it either. If I meet a gay man who throws around the f word because he thinks it's empowering to reclaim it then I guess that'll be mostly fine with me. However, a slur can only be reclaimed by people who were actually targeted by it in the first place; those teenage girls who larp as uwu cute transbois and love to throw the f word around really offend me, especially when they use it as a slur against actual gay men who don't play along with their delusions.

chandra · 2021-04-28T21:39:47+00:00

If you search it on Twitter you'll see that you are expected to make a conscious effort to switch between them, ideally even within the same sentence. I've seen she/theys bemoaning people for using 'she' all the time because it shows they really think of the person as a woman, or using 'they' all the time because it shows they don't really accept that 'she/they' is a meaningful thing.

Dictating the way people refer to you is one thing when it's one set of pronouns, but expecting strangers to care enough to make the effort to switch it up for you is just crazy, it's pure narcissism.

chandra · 2021-04-18T09:07:32+00:00

I know right, seems like way too much work. I would quickly get bored listening to him droning on about his gender identity, and expecting me to explain the whole thing to my friends and family when they 'misgender' him even if he's not around. And presumably all his friends are the same way. No thanks.

Obviously no non binary guy would want to date me either, though, because me not believing in his identity/religion would probably be a pretty big deal breaker.

chandra · 2021-03-10T21:06:27+00:00

TRAs find 'drop the T' unacceptable but they sure seem to have dropped the G, or at least any Gs who won't validate them without question.

What's most disturbing to me is that most of these posters are meant to be the progressive teenagers and young adults, the ones who 5-10 years ago might have been in a Gay Straight Alliance but who are now posting online about how they hate gay men, wishing for violence against us and calling us disgusting f****ts and a plague if we aren't fully on board with the most literal interpretation of TWAW/TMAM. Maybe I need to get off the computer and out into the real world, but reading this stuff doesn't give me much confidence for the next generation of LGB people.

chandra · 2020-11-21T14:42:37+00:00

Isn't this stuff pretty much restricted to self-obsessed teenagers posting online though? I'm not aware that even university LGBT groups push this stuff (although they do take non-binary seriously, which is the root of all this - if you untether gender from the material reality of the body, then it can be literally anything). Maybe it'll be dangerous if adults take it seriously, but it's so absurd I don't see it ever becoming more than a teen LARP.

chandra · 2020-11-19T13:10:19+00:00

Hey, at least this one actually says what the 'gender' feels like. After clicking around that site, most of the ones I landed on ended up being 'this gender fluctuates depending on x (the weather, tiredness, music, reading about other genders, etc)'.

chandra · 2020-09-28T08:43:01+00:00

All this bullshit is just the logical extension of untethering gender from anything physical. If gender is just a feeling, who's to say that feeling can't be cat-like?

As I always argue though, there's no point arguing with these (well meaning but naive) children who believe that exclusion is a sin in and of itself.

chandra · 2022-04-26T22:53:24+00:00

The charity that did the survey wrote their own blog post here, which details that '4% of lesbians have delayed coming out because being a lesbian is seen as ‘anti-trans’. This rises to 7% among lesbians aged 25 to 34.'

I wish there was some more detail about why exactly these young lesbians believe that being a lesbian is perceived as anti-trans, I pay a bit of attention to all the 'genital preferences,' transphobia in dating bullshit on Twitter and Reddit and I've never seen the idea that lesbianism is perceived as anti-trans. Maybe they're actually afraid of being bombarded by pushy trans 'lesbians' as soon as they come out, and painted as a transphobe when they turn them down?

chandra · 2022-04-17T19:07:22+00:00

This has got to be a fake account. It just hits all the notes perfectly. And ending with "we must first focus on academia" is just exactly the confirmation that opponents of the 'woke' slippery slope are looking for.

chandra · 2022-02-09T09:24:18+00:00

Like with all the sex and relationship terminology that came out of Tumblr, it's probably a useful way for a small niche of people (some bisexuals and 'asexuals') to describe what they're looking for, but it isn't at all relevant to like 99% of people.

chandra · 2021-01-16T19:58:39+00:00

What strikes me when I read these kind of posts is how rudimentary and stereotypically 'heterosexual' their idea of having sex is. Like it's all about putting the stick in the hole.

They have to understand sex this way, because it's the only way that they can claim to be functionally the same as actual men/women. If you understand sex as a full-body experience, and consider all the aspects of how real dicks/vaginas feel and behave, then trans people's fake genitals just can't compare. Stick in hole, though? That they can do.

chandra