The actual lesbians appear to have left the building. And who can blame them?

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[–]Immortallogic 73 insightful - 3 fun73 insightful - 2 fun74 insightful - 3 fun -  (9 children)

First sentence "an actual lesbian, in my opinion, is an adult female loving another adult female".

No. It's not your opinion. It's reality. Women, stop diminishing your language to try and soften what you're saying, to try and not be offensive. F that. Speak loud and proud.

[–]MarkTwainiac 36 insightful - 3 fun36 insightful - 2 fun37 insightful - 3 fun -  (1 child)

Just want to add that it's not necessary to be an "adult female" to be a lesbian, nor is it necessary to be engaged in "loving another adult female" either. A lesbian is a girl or woman sexually attracted exclusively to other female humans.

Many girls realize they are sexually attracted solely to members of their own sex long before adulthood. Also, whether one is an adult or still a minor, it's possible to be a lesbian and to be celibate, whether voluntarily or involuntarily.

[–]Happy_face_caller 5 insightful - 4 fun5 insightful - 3 fun6 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

Yikes

[–]Marsupial 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

It's even the definition. A man who loves a woman/girl is not a lesbian. Only a woman/girl who loves a woman/girl is a lesbian. And a woman/girl is a human female.

[–]MarkTwainiac 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah, but my point was that a female human does not have to be an adult to be a lesbian. Girls who aren't adults can be & are lesbians.

Only a woman/girl who loves a woman/girl is a lesbian

But to be a lesbian, it's not necessary to be a female human who "loves a woman/girl" or to be engaged in "loving another adult female" like the previous poster said. All that's required to be a lesbian is to be a female human who is exclusively sexually attracted to other female humans. Many lesbians have not found "a girl/woman to love" nor are they actively engaged in "loving" another girl/woman. But they're still lesbians if they are female humans solely attracted sexually to other female humans.

Also, since lesbians are human like everyone else, there inevitably will be/are some lesbians who are not capable of love/loving.

Male homosexuality is defined as exclusive sexual attraction to other males. Males are not required to have one particular same-sex love interest or to be engaged in "loving" relationships to be considered legitimately gay. Same goes for het people: no one says that in order to be considered heterosexual a person must have found someone to love & to be engaged in loving them.

Requiring a female human to have found another individual to"love" & be "loving" to be in order to be considered legitimately lesbian is a double standard. A sexist double standard that says lesbians' sexuality is real & "valid" only if they have an intimate partner/love interest with whom they are besotted/head over heels in love and are actively (or passively) engaged in loving, but that places no similar requirements on gay males, or het and bi people of either sex.

[–]VioletRemi 71 insightful - 6 fun71 insightful - 5 fun72 insightful - 6 fun -  (2 children)

If on ActualLesbians were still lesbians, it would've be banned as TrueLesbians. And as you see in screenshot, all lesbians on ActualLesbians are being banned if they are searching other lesbians to speak or disclosing that they are lesbians themselves.

[–]SaidOverRed 20 insightful - 4 fun20 insightful - 3 fun21 insightful - 4 fun -  (1 child)

Alright, ladies. I volunteer to be a guinea pig. What should I say over there to give a nice "smoking gun". Make it as overblown as you can possibly imagine. I won't lie about anything, but I'll try to get the point across. I'll post over here my results, if desired.

I know their admins are creepy and stalk people, but my reddit account is honest and subbed to a whollllle bunch of weird subs so they probably won't know what to do with me. And it's not like I have respect for what they are doing, so a little trolling won't hurt'em.

[–]TarshishJupiter 5 insightful - 3 fun5 insightful - 2 fun6 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

No thanks.

[–]33799 42 insightful - 7 fun42 insightful - 6 fun43 insightful - 7 fun -  (0 children)

"Well, I think they make it pretty obvious when they say things like: I'm trans, pre-everything."

Haha, I love this.

[–]Fusrodamus 41 insightful - 3 fun41 insightful - 2 fun42 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

ActualLesbians is a space where a porn-addicted teenaged boy is welcomed as a lesbian. This has always been the logical conclusion of "anyone who identifies as a woman is a woman", but I really thought the wheels would come off the crazy train before we got there.

The post was 67% upvoted, so that gives me some hope. But I'm pretty surprised so many women are still there. At what point does the abuse become intolerable?

[–]LasagnaRossa 32 insightful - 1 fun32 insightful - 0 fun33 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Banned for wrongthink

[–]ruskiix 29 insightful - 1 fun29 insightful - 0 fun30 insightful - 1 fun -  (4 children)

There’s probably money to be made in a solid, discrete matchmaking service for lesbians at this point. Like, let a third party (run by women who prioritize happy clients over woke points) screen everyone. You don’t have to explain why you didn’t have pity dates with TiMs, since a lot of the decision making is on someone else (who knows what the word “lesbian” means).

[–]yousaythosethings 33 insightful - 8 fun33 insightful - 7 fun34 insightful - 8 fun -  (1 child)

And even better, transbians can participate too but they only get matched with other transbians. All problems are solved.

[–]gchelpbot 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Short story: sadly unlikely as one of the major roadblocks with something like this is upfront cost to by pass the empty bar/restaurant effect in which no one wants to be the only user on a dating app. This is only the iceberg to the mess that is how dating services essentially "have to" run.

How Tinder/OkCupid/etc mostly got past this is taking on a ton of debt/money to throw sizable free events in major cities in which the only thing needed to go is that you signed up for the service. They essentially blew near millions on getting people to install the app in exchange for free events so then there are actual users and then word of mouth and so on spreads and the app "isn't dead". Otherwise you would get it launches, someone signs on with almost no one active in their area, gives up and moves on and the cycle repeats over and over.

The other model to avoid this is to take some hard stances and then keep chasing news outlets hyping it up but often to a point of ruining the service itself like HER and how easily it caved to TRA and libfems to chase woke points and generate downloads while throwing it core demographic under the bus.

[–]ruskiix 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I didn’t mean an app or anything like that, just like actual humans providing a matchmaking service. Where they find out what you’re looking for, get a sense of your personality, etc, and then connect people who seem likely to be compatible/have good chemistry. Like Patti Stanger without the tragically pragmatic sexism or wealthy douchebag clients (or reality show). Just cutting algorithms out of the picture and doing actual human work finding women who would be interested and organizing invitation only events focusing on people who have things in common and/or are likely to be interested in each other.

Open apps etc will always attract a hundred TiMs for every normal woman just looking for other women. I don’t think tech is ever going to do anything to help women who refuse to sleep with males.

[–]GConly 27 insightful - 4 fun27 insightful - 3 fun28 insightful - 4 fun -  (6 children)

I went through the users posting on actual lesbians... On one thread I counted two genuine women plus nine TIMs. Stopped counting by that point.

https://www.reddit.com/r/actuallesbians/comments/il0fry/how_do_you_feel_about_me_identifying_as_lesbian/?utm_content=title&utm_medium=post_embed&utm_name=1783463973a34c968c08f7132652e012&utm_source=embedly&utm_term=il0fry

The names:

Lila Alice (lesbian transwoman)

Clatonia transbian

Queen of daisies (trans)

Olivia Magus (trans)

Teddy Lebowski (trans)

Memory Meister (trans)

Ariadnav (trans)

Drinker of water (trans)

Catgirlprincess (transbian)

[–]fireweed 27 insightful - 3 fun27 insightful - 2 fun28 insightful - 3 fun -  (1 child)

I did that the other day too and it was rather hilarious. I think actuallesbians is about 80% men LARPing as lesbians.

[–][deleted] 9 insightful - 4 fun9 insightful - 3 fun10 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

The only thing the women on “actual lesbians” all have in common is dick, having or receiving.

Which is ironic because LACK of dick is the thing real lesbians have in common by way of only being attracted to female humans.

Actual lesbians is opposite world.

[–]LeaveAmsgAfterBeep 12 insightful - 3 fun12 insightful - 2 fun13 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

So basically all fantasy names?

[–]Marsupial 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I've RES tagged them. Most of the posters in that thread are trans.

[–]owmygenderfeels 10 insightful - 3 fun10 insightful - 2 fun11 insightful - 3 fun -  (1 child)

Catgirlprincess (transbian)

Indistinguishable from parody.

[–]GConly 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

All we need is one called 'Animecatgirluwu'.

Do you ever see women give themselves such dumb names?

[–]owmygenderfeels 14 insightful - 2 fun14 insightful - 1 fun15 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

If you were expecting it to be 🚫 lesbians only no one else 🚫 then you came to the wrong place

Imagine thinking a sub named "Actual Lesbians" was for lesbians. That's so absurd, I'm going to use emojis!

[–]MarkJefferson 13 insightful - 3 fun13 insightful - 2 fun14 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

Reformatted for context:

BecAUse tRANS WOmEN Can bE lEsbIANS?

[–][deleted] 9 insightful - 2 fun9 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Why can’t men just stick with the “huh huh huh, I’m a lesbian too...” -creepy eyebrow wiggle- thing like before.

[–]Mobymaybe 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I was banned for asking why there is so much trans content on AL. Just that. The post was deleted and I was banned (on another account). I replied to the mod that their censorship was out of control. They just can’t handle anything that challenges actual reality.

[–]luckystar 8 insightful - 2 fun8 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Honestly, we need to just start spamming that subreddit with images of burly gay men. "My girlfriend and I -- pre everything transbians, still valid girls". If lesbians can't have it then nobody should.

[–]marmorsymphata 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

I mean you aren't ACTUALLY shocked that speaking about these issues in a hostile space with language no different than you use here doesn't fly, are you?

TIMs may not deserve respect, but that doesn't mean calling them "men masquerading as lesbians" is respectful and polite. If you just called them transwomen or transbians you might have actually gotten people on that sub to think about the situation and maybe foster doubt. Instead you just posted banbait.

I actually have criticized TIMs in a """lesbian""" sub without getting downvotes or banned; I even got gold for it. I literally wrote 5 paragraphs on how self-absorbed and mentally ill this person was, but because I framed it in sympathetic language it flied. I maybe, just maybe, persuaded a TiM to stop bothering lesbians for mentioning how disgusted they are when straight men tell them they haven't had the right cock yet. You can, on rare occasion, accomplish this with proper framing and diplomatic language.

These issues are too important for you to focus on patting yourself on the back with "fun", self-satisfying insults over trying to actually change things.