Anyone else notice men in lesbian spaces?

submitted by IamWomanHearMeRoar from self.Lesbians

Specifically online. I swear I’ve run into a few users parading around as lesbians but are men in rl. Something about the posts and responses.

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[–]TalerTest 36 insightful - 6 fun36 insightful - 5 fun37 insightful - 6 fun -  (7 children)

Yep. I don't know if I'm just gifted or something, but I've always found it really easy to spot a man in an online lesbian space.

There was a transbian 'Lastrevio' posting in here a while back. What gave it away is how sympathetic he was towards AGPs.

Then there was a (homophobic but still likes the idea of a FFM poly relationship) guy 'SaidOverRed' who referred to lesbians as the "the ripest apple on the tree" when someone asked why Transbians only go after lesbians instead of straight/bisexual women. Yeah... they always expose themselves.

[–]reluctant_commenter 25 insightful - 3 fun25 insightful - 2 fun26 insightful - 3 fun -  (2 children)

I wish I had your power haha.

referred to lesbians as the "the ripest apple on the tree"

That's gross.

[–][deleted] 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I actually saw that and was going to give that person a slap for it but didn’t bother.

[–][deleted] 20 insightful - 2 fun20 insightful - 1 fun21 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah, I just thought those people were full on dudes and not even trans id

[–][deleted]  (1 child)

[deleted]

    [–]VioletRemi 10 insightful - 4 fun10 insightful - 3 fun11 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

    When in "queer language" same words have different meanings - anything can be offensive to them.

    [–][deleted] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    I have had enough of these garbage excuse for human beings walking abortions

    [–]reluctant_commenter 29 insightful - 5 fun29 insightful - 4 fun30 insightful - 5 fun -  (0 children)

    Well, it's really easy on AL when they admit to being men on a lesbian forum and everyone is somehow fine with them being there...

    Not to mention the trans identified males. I am pretty bad at figuring out otherwise, unless they drop something really obvious like praising "lesbian porn".

    [–]whateverman 24 insightful - 1 fun24 insightful - 0 fun25 insightful - 1 fun -  (16 children)

    There was someone here that called someone a 'princess' as an insult. I figured he was probably a guy. Looked through the post history and yeah, a guy. There's giveaways. Certain insults, certain obsessions. Fixations on anime and polyamoury are usually pretty good hints for transbians. Some lesbians might be into that, but men have a way of being super extra about things.

    [–]yousaythosethings 27 insightful - 6 fun27 insightful - 5 fun28 insightful - 6 fun -  (14 children)

    I'd be curious to learn what other insults you find to be giveaways. For me, "Karen" is a huge red flag. "White feminism" is another. Anything that denigrates/dismisses the concerns and lives of middle-aged women as a class is very male. Any insults that are laden with violence and physicality come across as very male. Also, I won't pretend like I never do anything that approximates objectifying women. I try to not be a sleaze, and I'm definitely not leaving creepy comments about women's appearances all around the Internet, but I think we can all recognize there's a very, very male way to do it.

    One thing I'm not quite finding the words to explain right now, but the constant fetishizing of specific "types of women" signals very male behavior to me. It's all over actuallesbians and it gets upvoted straight to the top, but anything about the following comes across in this way to me (And I'm listing their typology. These aren't my own words):

    • Cottage core lesbians
    • Sword lesbians
    • Goth lesbians
    • The way they use "top" and "bottom." I think some younger girls are adopting this, but they still use it in a different way and aren't like commenting on women's photos saying they have "bottom energy" or "top energy" or shit like that.

    Just the constant categorization of women/lesbians reeks of someone from the outside (a male) trying to study women/lesbians so they can imitate what they see and LARP. It reeks of someone who does not interact with or know women/lesbians IRL.

    [–]whateverman 20 insightful - 1 fun20 insightful - 0 fun21 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    Terf is the obvious giveaway with its frequency of use. Women tend to go along with it to show support of their friends, but even when they make violent threats, they usually just throw it in once or twice on Twitter and move on. Transbians specifically will not let it go. There is a layer of obsession that you do not get from other groups, even other transexuals and TRAs. Constant "fuck terfs" and "kill terfs" and "shut up terf?" Transbian nearly 100% of the time.

    Other insults are just anything that attacks women specifically. Slut, bitch, whore, etc. When you can really read the disdain in how it's used, it's usually male. There's a visceral hatred that you can just feel when you hear or see it. When a woman says slut, she's shaming a woman for sleeping around a lot. It's a slur with a straight definition. When a man says it, there's usually a distinct disgust and hatred added in that truly wishes to express that you are less. Something that says die. There's an inherent rage for men like that.

    [–]VioletRemi 11 insightful - 4 fun11 insightful - 3 fun12 insightful - 4 fun -  (5 children)

    Some legit lesbian channels on youtube like Arielle are spreading "top" and "bottom" words around. They have absolutely different meaning than when it involves men, but still same words.

    [–][deleted] 18 insightful - 1 fun18 insightful - 0 fun19 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

    Arielle’s whole channel objectified lesbians and lesbianism and everything in between. It’s only recently she’s stopped spoon-feeding validation to all of these dimwits. Lots of her followers are typical gross men who feel like they need to let everyone know they are 65 but “down with the gays” (jerking off to lesbians). Lol. Glad she grew a goddamn spine lately but she’s being a bit of a douche still, just on the opposite side.

    [–]VioletRemi 10 insightful - 4 fun10 insightful - 3 fun11 insightful - 4 fun -  (1 child)

    Seems everyone starts peaking from current trans activists.

    [–][deleted] 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    Yeah because it doesn’t matter how much validation you feed those babies, it’s never enough.

    Arielle tried to assert that lesbians were lesbian, but the TRAs knew she was borderline-peaked because of how fucking careful she was being, and lesbians were like “FUCKING SAY IT” and eventually nothing she did to be middle-ground mattered because they all turned against her when she offered any hint of thinking lesbians were lesbian.

    I feel bad for her because she ended up having to be a public terf after so many years of making lgbt content etc, and I think it was her livelihood, but do women really want to make money by lying? I think her terfing out was her most noble act and it cost her.

    Seeing how some of those fucking weak ass “gay” trans “men” who totally profited off her association with them and her platform came out with videos condemning her after was so on point with the whiny baby trans man thing, and I can’t think of a more mean-girls, hypocritical coward thing to do. Those dudes were too weak to be women.

    [–]florasis 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    I like Arielle a lot, because of how she embraced sanity against far left, she's smart. Although, she's too vulgar. She also post totally naked butt pics. I don't like people who make their sexuality an identity. And clearly, her identity revolves around being a lesbian

    [–]yousaythosethings 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    Yea I think it's becoming more widespread but it's more how it's being used that strikes me as male and completely detached from the concept and experience of female-female sex.

    [–]CatsOrGoHome 8 insightful - 3 fun8 insightful - 2 fun9 insightful - 3 fun -  (3 children)

    I'm afraid to ask, but what does cottage core lesbian and sword lesbian mean?

    [–]Vernalmuffins 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

    Cottage core is just an aesthetic thing, really. It's usually seen as accounts with pictures of picnics, meadows, and what people imagine as cottage life. Lesbians got associated with it because there does seem to be a lot of people who claim to be lesbians who flock to it. I wouldn't call it a sign of manhood or anything. I like it. It's cute. It's just very tumblr-y and populated by woke people, generally.

    The sword lesbian thing I think came from some wedding photos that were circulating? It was a lesbian couple who got married with swords and went viral.

    [–][deleted] 12 insightful - 4 fun12 insightful - 3 fun13 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

    People seem to need to make “liking normal stuff” such as trees and grass, into an extraordinary expression of coolness when they really just make it lame.

    [–]yousaythosethings 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    I am absolutely not the right person to ask, but search the terms across r/AL and draw your conclusions from that.

    [–][deleted] 7 insightful - 2 fun7 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

    I wish there were sword lesbians when I was little. I’ve been into all this stuff when it was LAME.

    Btw Pixels and I figured out about all the “core” stuff and I think it’s all tumblr nonsense. In fact, most of that is tumblr stuff and tumblr is full of TRAs.

    Also: I don’t think they know what top and bottom is. It’s very weird to see so many women on about it

    [–][deleted] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

    I seriously don't get the top and bottom stuff. It came across from gay (male) sex, and we are not gay men lol. People seem to use it like a questions of liking to penetrate vs penetration, or dom / sub? Also why are those dichotomites (especially re penetration) and why are they things we need labels to identify ourselves with? I identify with none of those roles and don't really care whether a partner does or doesn't. Also who the hell cares so much about whether a random person is a top or a bottom???? Whether they want to be penetrated or not? It's obsessive over on AL honestly.

    [–][deleted] 8 insightful - 5 fun8 insightful - 4 fun9 insightful - 5 fun -  (0 children)

    I’ve called partners “Princess” and “kitten” but not as an insult. I’ve also called women “dumb cows” but not referring to body type, as an insult. Lol. Maybe I should be careful that I don’t come across like a secret man. Hahaha

    [–]VioletRemi 17 insightful - 4 fun17 insightful - 3 fun18 insightful - 4 fun -  (1 child)

    When I dropped dating apps 3-5 years ago, most people nearby tagged with #lesbian were either heterosexual couples searching for threesome or transwomen-"lesbians" pre-op. And seems it is only getting worse since.

    [–][deleted] 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    i think dating apps have become the home for the bottom feeders of humanity.

    [–]Astrid2448 17 insightful - 1 fun17 insightful - 0 fun18 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    You can tell because they usually (obviously not all men are creeps, but the ones posting on AL tend to be) either fetishize or infantilize us.

    [–][deleted] 16 insightful - 3 fun16 insightful - 2 fun17 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

    This has been happening since the days of AOL and dial up. While the internet has been a great thing it also allows people to get their rocks off without having their real life suffer from their actions. I’m willing to bet everything I own that their are men posting in every woman’s space online for spank material.

    [–]yousaythosethings 15 insightful - 1 fun15 insightful - 0 fun16 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

    • Some are RPGing as actual lesbians online but are average straight men IRL.

    • Some are RPGing as actual lesbians online and ID as trans IRL.

    • Some are RPGing as transbians online, but are average straight men IRL.

    • Some are RPGing as transbians online and do ID as trans IRL.

    They all have a lot in common. I don't play video games, but I think there's a joke that in most online gaming communities, the girls/women are really boys/men. It honestly feels the same here. I think a lot of men get off to this, particularly the invasion of female spaces and gaining the confidence of women. It's incel behavior.

    [–]Astrid2448 7 insightful - 4 fun7 insightful - 3 fun8 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

    Funny story... there was a 4chan post that went viral a few years ago because a girl joined girl gamers on reddit and became part of their discord. Apparently the discord was full of trans women who thanked her for “supporting inclusive gaming” by being part of the chat. Most of them still had male voices.

    The post went viral and guys were replying saying maybe this is why so many more people online seem to say they’re gamer girls than there appear to be irl.

    [–]Gearbeta 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    I mentioned this in a previous thread here, but on r/sex a large portion of the lesbian posts there are from men. Dead giveaway is if it's a "lesbian" who is posting about her newfound love for dick. Now to be fair, for the ones I couldn't confirm through post history, they could be bi women who are lying but something about the writing style makes me think "dude"

    [–]oofreesouloo 11 insightful - 3 fun11 insightful - 2 fun12 insightful - 3 fun -  (3 children)

    YEEEEES. I don't know how there are so many women who don't notice 😅

    [–]yousaythosethings 17 insightful - 2 fun17 insightful - 1 fun18 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

    I think that's part of the problem, right? They have their blinders on. Some of these women are really lonely IRL and maybe aren't used to having a lot of female friends so they go online and think this is what other women are like.

    The other thing I see is that women, especially the last remaining real women in places like actuallesbians, notice that something is way off but draw the wrong conclusion. They just think that the very male behavior is just really young lesbian/bisexual/queer girls. And it's actually remarkable how even these men in their 40s act the same as teenage boys when they RPG as women. That's the part that is the most shocking to me. The men I know IRL are not like that at all, but the ones who RPG as women online are obsessed with teenage girls, so I think they try to act like teenage girls, but instead they just act like teenage boys, because that's the experience they know.

    [–]RedditHatesLesbians 13 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 0 fun14 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    It's almost painful how close the real lesbians on there get to peaking! Threads on "can we please stop objectifying women?" and "how come no one talks about lesbophobia?" all while missing the point by a hair. So frustrating

    [–]WildwoodFlower 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    As soon as I see someone with a cartoony/anime/video game avatar of a schoolgirl with big googly eyes, my "stay the hell away from this person, he's a perv" detector goes off. (I know there are a lot of normal people who are into anime and all that, but there are just too many weirdos in that subculture.)

    [–][deleted] 4 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

    As someone else said, men are a genetic dead end

    [–][deleted] 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

    Always. Not just trans but irl. I went to lesbian pop up events and queer events, always straight men there. Sick of that too. Also, before the pandemic there was a woman only concert and all these men showed up. The event was to celebrate women and it was for assault and to raise money, and to be a safe space for women,.

    So many men went.

    I hate living on this planet.

    The US is a shit show garbage hole

    [–][deleted] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    THIS. I stopped going to "lesbian" events in the bay area of all places (!) because fucking gross straight dudes figured out that's where lesbian/bi women went to be together and they started showing up in groups. My last time ever at one of these things, these guys literally had their phones out and pointed at groups of women. Safe space, my ass.

    EDIT: spelling + missing word errors.

    [–]IamWomanHearMeRoar[S] 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

    I’d also like to add that for whatever reason I seem to attract ALOT of guys and trans women. I don’t know what it is but I’m constantly being hit on/flirted with/ some guys have tried really hard to hook up with me and even marry me. Mainly in real life but on the internet too. In real life it’s normally straight guys but on the internet it’s trans women and gay men.