Welcome to exile, supers by notcisjustwoman in SuperStraight

[–]whateverman 7 insightful - 3 fun7 insightful - 2 fun8 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

Watching Reddit TQs treat straight people like they've been treating lesbians is hilariously sad.

Ellen Page is now Elliot Page by lmaonope333 in Lesbians

[–]whateverman 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I really wonder what the next thing is going to be. Trans-racial people? Uncle Ruckus was a joke character, but there's already been at least a few stories of people obsessed with a race or culture they're not.

DID self-diagnoses? Teens and twenty-somethings on Tik Tok are faking an extremely rare mental disorder so that they can claim each personality as a different age, race, gender or even species, referring to themselves as we/us. Like they're all our reigning monarchs.

Otherkins were a thing for a while, but trans-species was too weird to really get popular. Fucking furries.

What's it going to be?

Thoughts on fragrance? by begonia_skies in Lesbians

[–]whateverman 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Lush has this scent they called Breath of God. Now, the regular perfume smells bad, but the solid perfume stick is my favourite scent. My wife used to put a tiny bit just under her ears and on her wrists and it smells amazing. It wears off more quickly than liquid perfume and it's much more subtle. She stopped buying it when they stopped selling the perfume sticks. It's not as convenient to keep around anymore. Neither of us wear any perfumes or scents anymore.

I'm actually also a fan of Armani Code cologne. It's not as overpowering as other colognes I've smelled, but one spray is enough to last the day and any more would be too much. It's the only liquid scent I've liked at all, really. Perfumes always smell...I don't know how else to put this, but sour? It hurts my nose. And colognes are always so strong so that they can hide that guy stink. I DO like fruit and vanilla body sprays, but those wear off quickly.

Why am I like this? by wherethelonelyroam in Lesbians

[–]whateverman 23 insightful - 2 fun23 insightful - 1 fun24 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

I honestly would stay far away from anyone that asks to cuddle before a first date. I think you did yourself a favour.

Getting ready for spooky season. What are your favorite horror movies? by [deleted] in Lesbians

[–]whateverman 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

The Visit. I used to be an elder care worker and now I'm kinda scared of mentally ill elderly people. That movie scared the fuck out of me when I first saw it.

Not every bi girl sleeps around but the girls who sleep around usually say they’re bi. by [deleted] in Lesbians

[–]whateverman 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Your account is only a few days old and almost exclusively focused on bi girls. You seem pretty fixated on them.

Best places to meet women? by FrostyNugs in Lesbians

[–]whateverman 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Spin classes.

"bisexuals are oppressed because lesbians dont wanna date them" cry me a river by lmaonope333 in Lesbians

[–]whateverman 7 insightful - 7 fun7 insightful - 6 fun8 insightful - 7 fun -  (0 children)

They can have any transbian they want.

Anyone else really hate drag? by [deleted] in Lesbians

[–]whateverman 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I used to think it was just all in good fun. But now I hate how it's exploited young boys for money and sex. Desmond Naples was sold to the drag community for clout and I'll never forgive what they've done to him or other children.

I am so fucking sick of bisexual women doing this shit by peaked2020 in Lesbians

[–]whateverman 11 insightful - 5 fun11 insightful - 4 fun12 insightful - 5 fun -  (0 children)

Bisexuals are the most biphobic people around.

What’s an involuntary habit you have that you think a lover would find cute some day? by [deleted] in Lesbians

[–]whateverman 8 insightful - 7 fun8 insightful - 6 fun9 insightful - 7 fun -  (0 children)

I have absolutely no idea. I asked my wife and she said this:

"There's this face that you make when you think something is really cute that looks like you're distressed."

She then proceeded to try to make the face I make. I have to admit that it was cute when she did it.

My lesbian ex just came out as queer and nonbinary. by sickofit in Lesbians

[–]whateverman 16 insightful - 1 fun16 insightful - 0 fun17 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Well, exes are exes for a reason.

Giggle, the female only dating app, has added a dating feature. by 11mile_house in Lesbians

[–]whateverman 13 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 0 fun14 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I've heard contradicting information about this. The creator went back and forth about whether or not to allow transwomen to openly use the app. I couldn't tell if she was being wishy-washy in order to find out what would make her the most money, or if she was just outright unaware about what both markets demand.

What's wrong with being a gold star lesbian? by Gynephile in Lesbians

[–]whateverman 38 insightful - 2 fun38 insightful - 1 fun39 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Gold star lesbianism should be the standard. Lesbians shouldn't be pressured to have sex with men.

Lesbian women that have had the misfortune of being pressured to sleep with men through coercion or outright sexual assault admonish gold stars because they feel insecure about themselves.

Bi women don't like it because their attraction to men isn't all that unique or interesting in widely heterosexual culture.

Men don't like it because they don't get to be involved.

Do you remember your first love? by [deleted] in Lesbians

[–]whateverman 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Fifth grade. My best friend at the time. The first kiss and everything.

Religious lesbophobia by [deleted] in Lesbians

[–]whateverman 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Did anyone here come from a religious background and really, really struggle with coming out to yourself because of it?

Pretty much. Evangelical Christian background. Being a lesbian equated to being ugly, a whore, a sinner, a homewrecker or whatever else the women of our church community felt like admonishing me with. The men were worse and that's all I really care to say.

Are you child-free? by RedditHatesLesbians in Lesbians

[–]whateverman 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Dinks. Wanted children, but we've decided against it. Maybe we'll foster someday.

Would you date a bisexual? by [deleted] in Lesbians

[–]whateverman 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

If I wasn’t married...no, I wouldn’t. Bait post, but it doesn’t matter. People don’t have to date anyone they don’t want to.

Anyone else get really sick of heterosexual culture sometimes? by Depressed in Lesbians

[–]whateverman 15 insightful - 1 fun15 insightful - 0 fun16 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah, I do. But it's not directed at me and or present within our interactions. When I interact with gay men, I at least know their sexuality isn't AT me.

I've had plenty of straight women assume I'm flirting with them. They'd ask if I was into them, if I'd ask them out if they were gay, if they were my type, etc. They liked the idea that I might want them in the same way a man would. Pure validation. Some would get mad when I'd flat out say I would never be interested in them.

Some would find out I was gay and would become homophobic and hostile because obviously I'm into them because I'm a lesbian.

Do I have straight friends? Yeah. But we're different and it colours our interactions.

Dating App Red Flags by [deleted] in Lesbians

[–]whateverman 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It's more that most girls I've met that list hiking as a hobby on their dating profiles don't actually like hiking and spend most of their time indoors.

Anyone else get really sick of heterosexual culture sometimes? by Depressed in Lesbians

[–]whateverman 21 insightful - 1 fun21 insightful - 0 fun22 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I'm used to it. It's everywhere.

I'm more tired of straight people not knowing how to interact with me because their sexuality pervades everything they say and do. God forbid I be nice to them since they'll misinterpret it as flirting. Parties are just for straights to find someone to fuck. I feel like an alien. They're so fucking horny all the fucking time. It's easier to ignore in the ads, media and stories. But it doesn't just end there.

I feel at ease with lesbians and gay men. Straight friends are nice, but they don't really understand.

What is your ideal relationship dynamic? by Innisfree in Lesbians

[–]whateverman 16 insightful - 1 fun16 insightful - 0 fun17 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Separate, but together. My wife and I have our own friends, our own hobbies, our own goals and our own separate lives. We spend most of our time together (especially lately due to social distancing), but we're separate people.

We are a package deal, though. Any relative or friend that has a problem with my wife is gone. If my wife greatly dislikes one of my friends, they're gone (this has only happened once and I'm glad I ended that friendship). I will always take her side because I trust her wholeheartedly.

Dating App Red Flags by [deleted] in Lesbians

[–]whateverman 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Red Flags:

-Quotes as bio. Any quote. Doesn't matter what it is.

-Preferred pronouns. Big nope.

-Hiking under her list of hobbies (unless most of her photos show her outdoors).

-Only photos are indoor selfies.

-Only photos are of her with groups of other girls.

-Short, multi-coloured hair. Not as much of a red flag if it's long. This one is mostly based on anecdotal experiences for me.

-Fixated on hating children, cats or dogs. Hard pass. It's fine to not be fond of them or want them, but if one of your defining traits is hating children or animals, you're creepy.

-Fixated on one music genre without being a musician. This is the kind of person that will lecture you on shit you're an expert in. This is also the kind of person that will have a mid-life crisis.

Green Flags:

-Solo photos of her out and about. Playing sports, fishing, at a restaurant, travelling, painting, whatever. A selfie or two is all right, but I want to see that she actually does things and has a life.

-No more than one photo with friends (if any at all). Also shows she has a social life, but isn't insecure or trying to prove anything.

-Normal coloured hair at almost any length or style, butch or femme.

-Bilingual. Real exposure to another language and culture outside the anglosphere.

-Some kind of creative talent. Putting in the effort to master a certain skill is sexy.

What other species would you want to evolve to also be "advanced space travelling species"? by hufflepuff-poet in Lesbians

[–]whateverman 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Some other great ape relative. If we fuck this all up, a closely-related species might be able to best understand where we went wrong and how exactly they can do things differently. Something like us, but better. Either that or crows.

How does your hair look? by lmaonope333 in Lesbians

[–]whateverman 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Long, dark-coloured. It's at mid-back length. I'm trying to grow it to waist length again.

How do you make new friends as an adult? by [deleted] in Lesbians

[–]whateverman 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Frequent coincidental contact is the way. Just be somewhere a lot and you're likely to make a friend there. Work is the easiest place to make friends. Even if you work remotely you can go to some kind of co-working space you're going to meet new people. Anything outside of that requires you to make a regular commitment. University, religious services, volunteering, sports teams, weekly meet-up groups or anything else that requires you to make a consistent effort.

Dates are more clear because you schedule them with the person you're seeing until you no longer need to schedule in seeing one another. Friendships are different. If you make one of those personal ads seeking friends, it'll be harder to connect after one meet up.

"But I'm A Cheerleader" is now free on YouTube by lmaonope333 in Lesbians

[–]whateverman 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I still have never seen this movie. I guess I will this now!

Second date ideas? by hufflepuff-poet in Lesbians

[–]whateverman 5 insightful - 4 fun5 insightful - 3 fun6 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

On our second date, my wife invited me over to her rich parents house and wooed me with their many dogs and a cheese platter before sitting under the summer stars with a glass of champagne. I fucking love dogs, cheese and alcohol so I was won over pretty quickly.

My first date was always going out for coffee. Second dates were always a little cosier. I love the lake idea. Perfect summer date.

Do you treat women who you find out are lesbians differently? by RedditHatesLesbians in Lesbians

[–]whateverman 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I am more immediately at ease with my lesbian friends than anyone else because they just get it.

Here’s the update you asked for by [deleted] in Lesbians

[–]whateverman 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

So cute!!!!

How Quickly Would You Move In Together? by CJLez in Lesbians

[–]whateverman 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Six months unless she didn't have a job; if she didn't work, I'd wait for a year. If I was fully committed to someone that wasn't working for that long, I'd more or less be fine footing the bill for most things at that point.

How straight women react to butches / women they clock as lesbians by Innisfree in Lesbians

[–]whateverman 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I do think gay men can understand this to some degree. I've heard at least some complaints about straight women treating them like women or using them as a prop rather than an actual friend.

How straight women react to butches / women they clock as lesbians by Innisfree in Lesbians

[–]whateverman 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I have a few close guy friends, but they're all old friends from my school years or extended family. I don't think I could easily befriend other men now.

It's weird. I can see them, empathize with them and try to understand them, but there's this tacit understanding that they're always thinking about women, sex with women, being with women. It's weird and the only thing that seems to turn it off is shared history or being categorized into a non-fuckable label (family, old friend). If they can't do either and they're not attracted to you, you don't even exist and they won't even see you. They'll outright ignore you and barely recognize you as a fellow human being.

It's so frustrating because there's this part of me that wants to say "I'm human too and I wish we could be friends," but they'd never see any value in that. You're either a fuck hole or you're nothing.

How straight women react to butches / women they clock as lesbians by Innisfree in Lesbians

[–]whateverman 17 insightful - 1 fun17 insightful - 0 fun18 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Do you have that other thing happen to you with straight guys that categorize you as a male-friend equivalent? Where they call you bro and say things they would never say around a woman they want to fuck? Like, what is that? It's like, because you're more masculine-presenting and attracted to women, they forget you might not like some of the sexist jokes and objectifying comments they have to make.

Doesn't happen to me now that my hair's long and I wear feminine outfits.

What dessert can you not live without? by IamWomanHearMeRoar in Lesbians

[–]whateverman 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Mangos and coronation grapes. I need them every summer.

If you could have any pet in the world (including wild and extinct animals) what would it be and why? by IamWomanHearMeRoar in Lesbians

[–]whateverman 4 insightful - 3 fun4 insightful - 2 fun5 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

I think I'd want an animal that I could work with. Horseback riding, falconry, sled dog riding, etc. I don't live the kind of life that allows something like that, though. I train my dogs to do a lot of tricks, but they're still pets rather than working partners.

Otherwise, I think having a ferret would be pretty cool. My wife vetoed that idea because they stink. I don't blame her, but they're just so funny. Little stinky slinky friends.

What work of art you find inspiring, funny or interesting? by Innisfree in Lesbians

[–]whateverman 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Rembrandt's "Night Watch" is my favourite painting. I just love the way he used light in his work.

if you could have any super power, what would it be? by [deleted] in Lesbians

[–]whateverman 5 insightful - 3 fun5 insightful - 2 fun6 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

Altering memories specifically for the purpose of making most people forget they ever met me.

What Sports do you Follow/Watch? by CJLez in Lesbians

[–]whateverman 3 insightful - 3 fun3 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

I'm in a fantasy football league. Does that count?

Ladies, what is your favourite hair length on a woman? by Ricky_Ticky in Lesbians

[–]whateverman 2 insightful - 2 fun2 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Short and shaved on the sides, longer on top with a fringe. OR rapunzel hair.

How do you maintain attraction with weight changes? by HighPlainsDrifter in Lesbians

[–]whateverman 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I would suggest seeking marital counselling to help you facilitate this conversation constructively. There is really no easy way for you to be honest about this that won't upset both of you unless she already has solid confidence in herself. A professional outside party should help translate your intent in a way she can understand despite any hurt feelings.

What does a woman wear that makes her look ten times sexier? by lmaonope333 in Lesbians

[–]whateverman 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

The colour red paired with black. It looks good on everybody.

How do you stay active/exercise? by Vernalmuffins in Lesbians

[–]whateverman 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Running. I've gotten really into it since quarantine started. Also a lot of bodyweight fitness and yoga.

Do you think its wrong for a white lesbian to call herself as stud, as the term originated in black culture by lmaonope333 in Lesbians

[–]whateverman 12 insightful - 1 fun12 insightful - 0 fun13 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I've always more or less associated it with black butch lesbians. I don't think it's a big crime or anything, but I would laugh a little if a white lesbian called herself a stud.

What's your favorite biome? by reluctant_commenter in Lesbians

[–]whateverman 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Rainforests. Just constant rain. I wish I could be where it rains all the time.

Are you an outwardly emotional kind of person? by RedditHatesLesbians in Lesbians

[–]whateverman 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Only with my closest friends and family. I'm extremely closed off to people I don't know very well, shy. It sucks because I'm actually pretty extroverted a lot of the time. I open up a bit more when I notice positive qualities in people.

What's your go to lazy meal? by lmaonope333 in Lesbians

[–]whateverman 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Eggs over easy for breakfast. Chicken and fried rice for dinner. I don't really have lunch that often.

Need *SERIOUS* Advice Please by [deleted] in Lesbians

[–]whateverman 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

You're welcome! And yeah, that's definitely something that needs to be addressed. Either way, something's up.

Need *SERIOUS* Advice Please by [deleted] in Lesbians

[–]whateverman 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

You have to talk to her about this. She is gaslighting you, but I wouldn't start from that angle. I would simply state that you feel that you are being lied to and that for your marriage to work, you need to know who she is. Ask her point-blank if she is sexually attracted to men.

If she says no, I would suggest marital counselling. If this is how it turns out, she most likely has a deep-seated fear that you will leave her or think less of her. It's not okay for her to lie to you and it's not okay for her to force you to know about her porn habits, even incidentally. Either that or she is straight and you just bring the emotional security that she feels men aren't capable of.

Need *SERIOUS* Advice Please by [deleted] in Lesbians

[–]whateverman 18 insightful - 1 fun18 insightful - 0 fun19 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

She's not a lesbian. She's bisexual, most likely.

Reasons she could be lying:

  1. Internalized biphobia/misogyny. She may look down on herself in some way for being a woman attracted to both sexes. She may fear that you'll leave her if she came out as bisexual.

  2. She's a political lesbian and has started fantasizing about men due to sexual frustration. A typically straight woman pretending to be a lesbian scenario.

The first one is forgivable. The second one is not. Do you feel that she is attracted to you? Is she aware you want nothing to do with her male-focused fantasies if she's actually bisexual?

Why is female sexuality so easily dismissed? by RedditHatesLesbians in Lesbians

[–]whateverman 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

If all of us were butch, do you think half of their bullshit would be happening? I think lesbians would be off the table.

No, I don't. They would just target the younger butch lesbians they deem the most attractive. Their tactics would be different, but their intent would be the same; they want to fuck women they feel entitled to fucking.

I hate to say it, but I love Covid-19 mask culture. I love wearing a mask with sunglasses outdoors. Sometimes I wear a sweatshirt outside in the summer heat just to hide. Clothes don't stop rapists, but they do stop the average man from looking at me. I don't want to be treated like I'm invisible when I'm older, but I think I'll prefer it to being objectified and gawked at.

Why is female sexuality so easily dismissed? by RedditHatesLesbians in Lesbians

[–]whateverman 26 insightful - 2 fun26 insightful - 1 fun27 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Lesbians are taken seriously when men don't want to fuck them. Old lesbians and very masculine butch lesbians are left alone more than young, highly feminine lesbians.

This sometimes happens to attractive straight women too. If a straight woman is with a man that is less attractive in some way, men will be very quick to question the sincerity of their relationship. They get mad when an attractive woman settles with someone they feel superior to. They brush it off if he's rich, but when he's not making much money they wonder if there's something wrong with her. Their sexuality is usually so targeted and so fetishized that they can't conceive that she's sexually attracted to qualities they don't have.

Men's sexuality seems to work as "I want it, therefore it's mine." Anything they don't want doesn't have any value.

How do you tell if someone is truly attracted to women? by ravenflies in Lesbians

[–]whateverman 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

If she loves talking about how much she hates men all the time, that’s a bad sign. If she has had a really bad heartbreak with a man, tread carefully if it was a recent breakup. Being a lesbian should not be centred around misandry.

I’m so sorry that happened to you.

Stereotypes of lesbians that are true and not true? by IamWomanHearMeRoar in Lesbians

[–]whateverman 11 insightful - 3 fun11 insightful - 2 fun12 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

I've U-hauled twice. I have short nails. I've had short hair. I love plaid. I've driven a Subaru.

Childfree lesbians who have settled down, how big is your home? by Lesbiian in Lesbians

[–]whateverman 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

My wife and I used to want children. We've decided it wasn't in the cards for us. Maybe we'll foster older children someday, maybe not. Our current lifestyle, career goals and other aspirations are great for us, but wouldn't really be fair for children. We've also decided that neither of us want to be responsible for bringing new life into the world in its current state. There are already too many people.

We live in a one-bedroom apartment with our dogs. It's about 2000 square feet. We want to buy a home in an expensive urban area, so we'll probably never own a house. We're aiming for a one-bedroom or two-bedroom condo with a strata that allows pets. We'd be happy with 800 square feet at the smallest. We're pretty minimalist with our decor and household items. We won't need much storage.

what is this bullshit by knownasness in Lesbians

[–]whateverman 9 insightful - 3 fun9 insightful - 2 fun10 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

thanks i hate it so much

Anyone else notice men in lesbian spaces? by IamWomanHearMeRoar in Lesbians

[–]whateverman 20 insightful - 1 fun20 insightful - 0 fun21 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Terf is the obvious giveaway with its frequency of use. Women tend to go along with it to show support of their friends, but even when they make violent threats, they usually just throw it in once or twice on Twitter and move on. Transbians specifically will not let it go. There is a layer of obsession that you do not get from other groups, even other transexuals and TRAs. Constant "fuck terfs" and "kill terfs" and "shut up terf?" Transbian nearly 100% of the time.

Other insults are just anything that attacks women specifically. Slut, bitch, whore, etc. When you can really read the disdain in how it's used, it's usually male. There's a visceral hatred that you can just feel when you hear or see it. When a woman says slut, she's shaming a woman for sleeping around a lot. It's a slur with a straight definition. When a man says it, there's usually a distinct disgust and hatred added in that truly wishes to express that you are less. Something that says die. There's an inherent rage for men like that.

Anyone else notice men in lesbian spaces? by IamWomanHearMeRoar in Lesbians

[–]whateverman 24 insightful - 1 fun24 insightful - 0 fun25 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

There was someone here that called someone a 'princess' as an insult. I figured he was probably a guy. Looked through the post history and yeah, a guy. There's giveaways. Certain insults, certain obsessions. Fixations on anime and polyamoury are usually pretty good hints for transbians. Some lesbians might be into that, but men have a way of being super extra about things.

Have you tried engaging in discussion with lesbians you know about the state of the lesbian community/LGBTQ “community”/genderism? by yousaythosethings in Lesbians

[–]whateverman 16 insightful - 1 fun16 insightful - 0 fun17 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

You may or may not kamikaze yourself. Death threats, stalking, assault, harassment are all knocking on your door as soon as you say a word to the wrong ear. Not all of us have Rowling's fuck-you money or celebrity. If you want to have those sorts of discussions, it might be worth it to connect with a radical feminist group in your area so that if you lose friends, you still have a community to connect with.

Femme, butch or something else? by [deleted] in Lesbians

[–]whateverman 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Futch? Chapstick lesbian? I lean closer to femme than I do to butch, but I am also not the most feminine person out there.

Discord Servers by SplendidTwenties in Lesbians

[–]whateverman 4 insightful - 2 fun4 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

You're awesome!

Discord Servers by SplendidTwenties in Lesbians

[–]whateverman 10 insightful - 2 fun10 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

You have no post history here. You created this account 15 hours ago. Another poster has done the same exact thing. At this point, I am only going to trust a new server created by MaxinistaFemmeinista if she feels like creating one. She's done so much work to preserve our community and ensure it isn't lost. Stop targeting women here. All these random accounts asking about Discord servers is starting to feel fishy.

Lesbian discord by pinkbean in Lesbians

[–]whateverman 6 insightful - 3 fun6 insightful - 2 fun7 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

I'm becoming wary of some of the kinds of posts people are sharing here.

"Why don't we move elsewhere?"

"I am making a Discord server. Want to join?"

"What will we do if Saidit disappears?"

"Saidit is awful and it sucks this is all we have."

Like, all this is not helpful at all. Perhaps we could have a stickied post at the top outlining where all the pessimists can lurk?

[meta] anyone else is disturbed by the kind of people on saidit? should we move somewhere else? by temp_d in Lesbians

[–]whateverman 26 insightful - 2 fun26 insightful - 1 fun27 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Reddit is not better. There are just more communities, people and paid promotion to block people out. Reddit is still full of racists and sexists; it's also got a bunch of pedophile apologists and rape porn.

Saidit is more or less what you make it. I've unsubscribed from every group except this one because this group was the only reason I moved here. But this website does actively encourage debate, so you could also feel free to voice any opposing view you have against whatever they're talking about on the front page. You won't be mass-downvoted and you'll only get removed from the conversation if you break the rules. When I'm bored, I still browse some small groups on Reddit, but I don't have an account anymore and I actively refuse to participate there.

I still think helping this group grow is a good thing, but you could also join the new Ovarit group if you're more comfortable. But I think the "let's move elsewhere" is short-sighted. Between Ovarit, Spinster, Saidit, Tumblr and various other lesbian discord servers and forums, I think it won't be hard to find a place you feel comfortable posting and browsing.

This is just so upsetting to read and look at all the the upvotes and comments. by [deleted] in Lesbians

[–]whateverman 24 insightful - 4 fun24 insightful - 3 fun25 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

"My heart truly goes out to women trapped in heterosexual hell."

That is such fucking garbage.

What are your future goals? by IamWomanHearMeRoar in Lesbians

[–]whateverman 10 insightful - 6 fun10 insightful - 5 fun11 insightful - 6 fun -  (0 children)

To learn a third language. I'm lucky enough to know two, but I've never just sat down and decided to learn a new language before. My spouse and I are going to practice together. We'll probably develop a weird accent between the two of us sharing it primarily, but we'll do our best.

265 Lesbian Movie Trailers [Youtube Playlist] by CJLez in Lesbians

[–]whateverman 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

This is fantastic, thank you!

Where’s everyone from? by IamWomanHearMeRoar in Lesbians

[–]whateverman 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)


Does anyone else here can't relate to men? by oofreesouloo in Lesbians

[–]whateverman 7 insightful - 2 fun7 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Men are different, but I can't say that I don't relate to or empathize with them at all. I have a couple of male friends I'd call close and I'm lucky to have them in my life. There are societal pressures they face that I will never experience or understand. I just try my best to be a good friend and relative when needed.

I'm sometimes jealous of their natural physical strength. It's like a superpower!

Remember when Dan Savage tried to pimp out Lesbians. He needs to keep the word Lesbian out of his mouth, yet here is his latest (Advice for a lesbian-identifying woman attracted to her male coworker) by Happy_face_caller in Lesbians

[–]whateverman 23 insightful - 3 fun23 insightful - 2 fun24 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

For various reasons, I decided a few years ago not to pursue physical stuff with men anymore and I publicly identify as a lesbian.

FuUuUuUuck you lady. Political lesbians are the worst.

What do you make of Ellen's show being under investigation? Is the revolution consuming its children now or is it something else? by Ricky_Ticky in Lesbians

[–]whateverman 17 insightful - 1 fun17 insightful - 0 fun18 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Ellen has been rumoured to be horrid to work for and to be around if you aren’t as famous and rich as she is. I’ll always be grateful for what she’s done for lesbians as a whole by coming out when she did, but I’m not surprised that she’s being investigated now.

What is Your Personal Style? by CJLez in Lesbians

[–]whateverman 13 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 0 fun14 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Retired goth kid. Or gothic business casual. My wardrobe doesn't really have anything that isn't black, white, dark red, dark green or dark navy. Tight-fit black turtle necks, white button-up shirts, dark red sweater dresses, black blazers, black heeled boots, no logos, etc. I don't like to stand out, but I like a tailored fit.

Finally found y'all! by Lesbiian in Lesbians

[–]whateverman 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

Welcome back!

Were you the weird kid? by RedditHatesLesbians in Lesbians

[–]whateverman 15 insightful - 1 fun15 insightful - 0 fun16 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah, until I found others I fit in with. I feel more out of place as an adult than I did when I was younger.

I feel like a lot of my straight friends are obsessed with sex, hook-up culture, bars, partying and drugs. I think I might just be a prude.

I know my experience can't speak for all lesbians, but in my case, I just happily embrace the homebody, straight-laced, monogamous married life. I'm still young and feel ancient inwardly when comparing myself to most of my straight friends. Most of my lesbian friends in real life aren't much different.

What was your first serious crush? by VioletRemi in Lesbians

[–]whateverman 6 insightful - 2 fun6 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

It's so weird that we could! Neither of us even really talked about it. I don't think she even knew the word lesbian either. We just knew that we were different from the others.

How much do you flirt with other women while in a relationship? by endlesssummer in Lesbians

[–]whateverman 13 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 0 fun14 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I don't. Never will.

What was your first serious crush? by VioletRemi in Lesbians

[–]whateverman 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

When I was in fifth grade I had a crush on my best friend. Our friend group talked about boys a lot and I participated just to feel included. When we discussed favourite boy band members, I'd just pick one randomly. When they'd talk about boys in school they liked, I just picked one that was from another class because I had never interacted with him and he seemed so far away in our small world. My best friend never participated and didn't seem interested in boys at all at the time. She called me out for lying when we were alone; eventually, I just stopped lying about it.

I had never heard the word lesbian or even considered girls could like each other in the same way, but she was my first kiss and my first crush. She moved away before we went to high school. We had a fight because we were each jealous of new friends that we made in middle school. It was so stupid. We reconnected through mutual friends as adults and honestly, she hasn't changed much. She's still great. We don't hang out really, but we do catch up now and then.

I need to vent a little bit by Oko in Lesbians

[–]whateverman 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

That is really inappropriate for your dad of all people to say, let alone anyone else.

What was your worst date experience? by fieryoyster in Lesbians

[–]whateverman 9 insightful - 3 fun9 insightful - 2 fun10 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

I went on a couple dates with this girl I met at a grocery store. She seemed nice and was cute. On the second date it became pretty apparent that she was a political lesbian. She would just not stop talking about how much she hated men. I tried to let her know I wasn't interested in talking about that and gave it one more go. Third date was also a bust and I told her it wasn't working out. She called me a bitch and we never spoke again.

What's your petty dealbreaker for relationships? by Jaded in Lesbians

[–]whateverman 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I dated a girl for a few months that was really into clubbing with her friends. I just couldn't take it anymore. It's just not what I'm into. We were just a bad match.

Lesbian Actually? by hatsofpotato in Lesbians

[–]whateverman 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

LesbianActually was always just kind of...there. It's been inclusive of transwomen for as long as I can recall, though. I wouldn't say it was overrun so much as it was always just a place for selfies. It's honestly pretty harmless.

What's your worst trait in relationships? by hufflepuff-poet in Lesbians

[–]whateverman 9 insightful - 2 fun9 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

I'm emotionally needy and I've always been attracted to independent women. I want my wife's attention like 24/7, but if she actually paid attention to me that much I'd lose interest. It all balances out because those two wants ensure that we have a relationship, but that we also each get enough space and have our own lives. But I acknowledge that if I didn't meet her, I probably would have stayed single forever. It's too demanding to have another human being balance between my contradicting needs and wants. I'm lucky to have someone I naturally have a good dynamic with, but I've been a neurotic, distant girlfriend and I'm not proud of that.

Does anyone here have Lesbian freinds irl? by sunzzy in Lesbians

[–]whateverman 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yep. We’re everywhere.

Lesbian podcasts? by RedditHatesLesbians in Lesbians

[–]whateverman 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

There used to be this podcast by a married lesbian couple called 2 Homos. They just talked about whatever. It's defunct, but I enjoyed listening to it while it was running.

List your favorite lesbian movie, alongside your favorite straight/nonlesbian movie. Do they have anything in common? by [deleted] in Lesbians

[–]whateverman 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Favourite Lesbian Movie: The Hours

Favourite Straight Movie: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

What they have in common: Both movies are sad. Both are more about grief, heartbreak and freedom than they are about romance. Both feature the emotional labour expected of both men and women. Both show how emotionally taxing and rewarding all relationships can be.

I miss my friend by [deleted] in Lesbians

[–]whateverman 4 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 0 fun5 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

You're a really admirable person to invest that much care and concern into a friendship. You sound like the kind of friend that values genuine connection with and compassion for others.

But sharing what's wrong and being vulnerable also takes a certain amount of investment in a friendship. If she keeps being distant when shit hits the fan, it's up to her. If she needs someone to help her get through things, she has to be the one to reach out. Otherwise, you'll just keep worrying and trying to get an answer out of her. That's really not a fair dynamic for you. The best you can do is express that you're there for someone if they need it. If they don't take the offer, that's up to them. Don't dig.

Depression, Down Days and Dating by basetenprefix in Lesbians

[–]whateverman 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

How can I care for someone in a healthy way, if I don't care about myself?

You really can't. Or at the very least, you have to accept that sharing your life with someone comes with the fact that they have a say in what's shared between you. If you are depressed and don't value yourself, a caring partner would be pretty invested in helping you get through it. To stay together, doing all the things you need to do to cope and even recover would be a consistent effort on your part. It's even harder to do when you're single because the only person to be an active caretaker is you.

Your depression will keep you from what you want in life. It will keep you feeling disconnected from those that care about you. It will cause you to keep ending relationships and feeling lonely. I really empathize with this post and it really sucks that you've been depressed for that long. But if I were your friend, family or partner, I would push you to help yourself even more than you may already be doing no matter how hard it is to deal with mental illness. And if you told me how hard it was, all I would say is "yeah, it is" and keep rooting for you to keep going.

I miss my friend by [deleted] in Lesbians

[–]whateverman 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It sucks to be ghosted when you have no idea where things went wrong. A lot of us have been there. I've ghosted and have been ghosted.

When ghosting someone, it's never been because of something wrong happening in my life. It's almost always been one of a few reasons:

  • I didn't think explaining my reasoning to them would have been worth it because I didn't think they would listen.
  • I had already tried expressing what was wrong and they dismissed what I had to say.
  • My reasons were ultimately shallow and the person would not benefit in any way from knowing why I was ghosting them.

You never need a reason to cut someone off, but I believe there are times when it is better to ghost someone than to tell them exactly why I want to end things. Most of the time, I either simply don't want to hurt another person or I feel that they won't be open to what I have to say.

One thing that more or less helps me accept being ghosted is just saying out loud to myself that it's over. Just a simple "it's over." Everything ends and this is all temporary.

I'm sorry that she's doing this. You can wonder why she's done it, but that's a good way to drive yourself crazy if you can't emotionally distance yourself from it. I would suggest letting yourself close this chapter of your life instead and not worry about what you could have done differently unless she ever comes back with a solid reason.

If you want to help fellow Truelesbians keep reading by Anniesworld in Lesbians

[–]whateverman 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Thank you for the suggestion! I’ve already reached out to a couple.

Are you out at work? by a_blue_bird in Lesbians

[–]whateverman 2 insightful - 1 fun2 insightful - 0 fun3 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yep. All my other coworkers are straight. I haven't introduced them to my wife though and probably never will. I keep a big divide between work and private life.

How do you feel about being attracted to women? by [deleted] in Lesbians

[–]whateverman 18 insightful - 1 fun18 insightful - 0 fun19 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It's just how I'm wired. If I hadn't met my wife, I'm pretty sure I would have been satisfied staying single for the rest of my life with the occasional date or fling. I have dated other women and found that I'm extremely picky about the qualities I want from a romantic partner. I broke up with and rejected a number of women, stayed single for a while and met my wife by chance. Wasn't even looking for anyone new.

TERFs, I see TERFs everywhere... by Lyssa in GenderCritical

[–]whateverman 23 insightful - 3 fun23 insightful - 2 fun24 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

There was a push for it. If you have attended any Pride events in the last several years, you may have seen it in person. Ze/Zem/Zir and Xe//Xem/Xir were the most common I saw the push for in real life. It's died down somewhat since 2017/2018.

TERFs, I see TERFs everywhere... by Lyssa in GenderCritical

[–]whateverman 54 insightful - 2 fun54 insightful - 1 fun55 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

They will push until they reach the limits of what the average person can accept.

Remember the push for the nearly limitless amount of pronouns a few years ago? Notice how that's more or less died down in the last couple of years? As a group, they seem to have accepted that the best they're going to get out of people is using they/them as an alternative to he/him and she/her.

Notice how Reddit removed r/detrans until they received community backlash? They put it back when they realized that it made them look bad, but they would have preferred to remove the existence of detransition all together.

Have you noticed that there isn't as much TRA pushback regarding sports as there is for other issues? There are males joining and competing in women's sports teams, but many of them know that this isn't really a fight they'll win if they push too hard. They know the difference between male and female bodies and they know just how much stronger male bodies can be. Bathrooms were much easier for them to access. But decimating women in their own sports leagues shines a light on the fact that transwomen and women are different.

I feel like our community has gotten right back on its feet. by 11mile_house in Lesbians

[–]whateverman 26 insightful - 5 fun26 insightful - 4 fun27 insightful - 5 fun -  (0 children)

It does! I actually think that this website is better and I think it will improve as time goes on. No downvoting? No porn? Pyramid of debate? I'm glad that this site was chosen among the existing alternatives. And I'm really glad we could keep our community up too.

What are the best dating apps? by Philliy in Lesbians

[–]whateverman 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

If you’re bilingual you might have more luck if your language is largely spoken where you are. A lot of the blurs of the definition of lesbianism comes from English fuckery.

How to prevent this from becoming a racist cesspool like voat by davidorr in SaidIt

[–]whateverman 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Why would anyone be in favour of their own censorship? You can challenge racist viewpoints or simply mark other responses you find insightful. It's easy.

Do you think this is the end for TL? by a_blue_bird in Lesbians

[–]whateverman 8 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 0 fun9 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I also appreciate the lack of porn. Reddit is disgusting.

Best arguments against sexual fluidity amongst lesbians? by [deleted] in Lesbians

[–]whateverman 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I don’t think it’s worth debating with homophobes anymore, but I’m just tired too. I would suggest not debating with them if you don’t have to.

Can we all describe our perfect Sunday? by Climblikeabee in Lesbians

[–]whateverman 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

My perfect Sunday is one where I sleep until 9 or later, have breakfast in bed, walk my dog, do some yoga, workout, read a book, paint, or do something else that I find relaxing.

Do you think this is the end for TL? by a_blue_bird in Lesbians

[–]whateverman 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I don't think so. And honestly, there are other forums and servers that are entirely lesbian-focused if you're worried.