Anyone else notice men in lesbian spaces?

submitted by IamWomanHearMeRoar from self.Lesbians

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[–]whateverman 24 insightful - 1 fun24 insightful - 0 fun25 insightful - 1 fun -  (16 children)

There was someone here that called someone a 'princess' as an insult. I figured he was probably a guy. Looked through the post history and yeah, a guy. There's giveaways. Certain insults, certain obsessions. Fixations on anime and polyamoury are usually pretty good hints for transbians. Some lesbians might be into that, but men have a way of being super extra about things.

[–]yousaythosethings 27 insightful - 6 fun27 insightful - 5 fun28 insightful - 6 fun -  (14 children)

I'd be curious to learn what other insults you find to be giveaways. For me, "Karen" is a huge red flag. "White feminism" is another. Anything that denigrates/dismisses the concerns and lives of middle-aged women as a class is very male. Any insults that are laden with violence and physicality come across as very male. Also, I won't pretend like I never do anything that approximates objectifying women. I try to not be a sleaze, and I'm definitely not leaving creepy comments about women's appearances all around the Internet, but I think we can all recognize there's a very, very male way to do it.

One thing I'm not quite finding the words to explain right now, but the constant fetishizing of specific "types of women" signals very male behavior to me. It's all over actuallesbians and it gets upvoted straight to the top, but anything about the following comes across in this way to me (And I'm listing their typology. These aren't my own words):

  • Cottage core lesbians
  • Sword lesbians
  • Goth lesbians
  • The way they use "top" and "bottom." I think some younger girls are adopting this, but they still use it in a different way and aren't like commenting on women's photos saying they have "bottom energy" or "top energy" or shit like that.

Just the constant categorization of women/lesbians reeks of someone from the outside (a male) trying to study women/lesbians so they can imitate what they see and LARP. It reeks of someone who does not interact with or know women/lesbians IRL.

[–]whateverman 20 insightful - 1 fun20 insightful - 0 fun21 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Terf is the obvious giveaway with its frequency of use. Women tend to go along with it to show support of their friends, but even when they make violent threats, they usually just throw it in once or twice on Twitter and move on. Transbians specifically will not let it go. There is a layer of obsession that you do not get from other groups, even other transexuals and TRAs. Constant "fuck terfs" and "kill terfs" and "shut up terf?" Transbian nearly 100% of the time.

Other insults are just anything that attacks women specifically. Slut, bitch, whore, etc. When you can really read the disdain in how it's used, it's usually male. There's a visceral hatred that you can just feel when you hear or see it. When a woman says slut, she's shaming a woman for sleeping around a lot. It's a slur with a straight definition. When a man says it, there's usually a distinct disgust and hatred added in that truly wishes to express that you are less. Something that says die. There's an inherent rage for men like that.

[–]VioletRemi 11 insightful - 4 fun11 insightful - 3 fun12 insightful - 4 fun -  (5 children)

Some legit lesbian channels on youtube like Arielle are spreading "top" and "bottom" words around. They have absolutely different meaning than when it involves men, but still same words.

[–][deleted] 18 insightful - 1 fun18 insightful - 0 fun19 insightful - 1 fun -  (3 children)

Arielle’s whole channel objectified lesbians and lesbianism and everything in between. It’s only recently she’s stopped spoon-feeding validation to all of these dimwits. Lots of her followers are typical gross men who feel like they need to let everyone know they are 65 but “down with the gays” (jerking off to lesbians). Lol. Glad she grew a goddamn spine lately but she’s being a bit of a douche still, just on the opposite side.

[–]VioletRemi 10 insightful - 4 fun10 insightful - 3 fun11 insightful - 4 fun -  (1 child)

Seems everyone starts peaking from current trans activists.

[–][deleted] 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah because it doesn’t matter how much validation you feed those babies, it’s never enough.

Arielle tried to assert that lesbians were lesbian, but the TRAs knew she was borderline-peaked because of how fucking careful she was being, and lesbians were like “FUCKING SAY IT” and eventually nothing she did to be middle-ground mattered because they all turned against her when she offered any hint of thinking lesbians were lesbian.

I feel bad for her because she ended up having to be a public terf after so many years of making lgbt content etc, and I think it was her livelihood, but do women really want to make money by lying? I think her terfing out was her most noble act and it cost her.

Seeing how some of those fucking weak ass “gay” trans “men” who totally profited off her association with them and her platform came out with videos condemning her after was so on point with the whiny baby trans man thing, and I can’t think of a more mean-girls, hypocritical coward thing to do. Those dudes were too weak to be women.

[–]florasis 9 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 0 fun10 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I like Arielle a lot, because of how she embraced sanity against far left, she's smart. Although, she's too vulgar. She also post totally naked butt pics. I don't like people who make their sexuality an identity. And clearly, her identity revolves around being a lesbian

[–]yousaythosethings 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yea I think it's becoming more widespread but it's more how it's being used that strikes me as male and completely detached from the concept and experience of female-female sex.

[–]CatsOrGoHome 8 insightful - 3 fun8 insightful - 2 fun9 insightful - 3 fun -  (3 children)

I'm afraid to ask, but what does cottage core lesbian and sword lesbian mean?

[–]Vernalmuffins 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Cottage core is just an aesthetic thing, really. It's usually seen as accounts with pictures of picnics, meadows, and what people imagine as cottage life. Lesbians got associated with it because there does seem to be a lot of people who claim to be lesbians who flock to it. I wouldn't call it a sign of manhood or anything. I like it. It's cute. It's just very tumblr-y and populated by woke people, generally.

The sword lesbian thing I think came from some wedding photos that were circulating? It was a lesbian couple who got married with swords and went viral.

[–][deleted] 12 insightful - 4 fun12 insightful - 3 fun13 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

People seem to need to make “liking normal stuff” such as trees and grass, into an extraordinary expression of coolness when they really just make it lame.

[–]yousaythosethings 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I am absolutely not the right person to ask, but search the terms across r/AL and draw your conclusions from that.

[–][deleted] 7 insightful - 2 fun7 insightful - 1 fun8 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

I wish there were sword lesbians when I was little. I’ve been into all this stuff when it was LAME.

Btw Pixels and I figured out about all the “core” stuff and I think it’s all tumblr nonsense. In fact, most of that is tumblr stuff and tumblr is full of TRAs.

Also: I don’t think they know what top and bottom is. It’s very weird to see so many women on about it

[–][deleted] 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

I seriously don't get the top and bottom stuff. It came across from gay (male) sex, and we are not gay men lol. People seem to use it like a questions of liking to penetrate vs penetration, or dom / sub? Also why are those dichotomites (especially re penetration) and why are they things we need labels to identify ourselves with? I identify with none of those roles and don't really care whether a partner does or doesn't. Also who the hell cares so much about whether a random person is a top or a bottom???? Whether they want to be penetrated or not? It's obsessive over on AL honestly.

[–][deleted] 8 insightful - 5 fun8 insightful - 4 fun9 insightful - 5 fun -  (0 children)

I’ve called partners “Princess” and “kitten” but not as an insult. I’ve also called women “dumb cows” but not referring to body type, as an insult. Lol. Maybe I should be careful that I don’t come across like a secret man. Hahaha