Straight guys these days

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[–]Q-Continuum-kin 35 insightful - 24 fun35 insightful - 23 fun36 insightful - 24 fun -  (14 children)

Summary:

I'm straight dating a MtF so I need to learn to suck dick.

Go on Grindr to practice.

Sorry I can't use Grindr because I'm straight.

[–]bastetkat 31 insightful - 13 fun31 insightful - 12 fun32 insightful - 13 fun -  (2 children)

Also OP: posts on askgaybros

[–]Shadow_Lurker 22 insightful - 2 fun22 insightful - 1 fun23 insightful - 2 fun -  (1 child)

The jokes write themselves!

It's probably a MtF larping lol

[–]Feather 20 insightful - 1 fun20 insightful - 0 fun21 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Strangely, I think it's legit. Something about it just reminds me of certain self-deluded people I've known IRL. His basic message keeps being, "No, you don't understand," with ever more frustrated explanations that go on random tangents.

I think he's being completely sincere.

If he were a MtF larping, he'd be more repetitive and wouldn't seem to be listening to what is being said to him. But he is listening carefully here and getting so wrapped up in disagreeing that he seems to have pretty much forgotten his entire reason for posting there.

More notably, he seems neither enraged nor like he's having fun. He just seems frustrated and bothered and distracted about the fact that, from his POV, nobody is listening to what he thinks matters.

Edit:

Oh! Most important of all!

We see exactly why he hates the fact that he's either gay or bi. He's conservative as fuck about the purpose of relationships!

[–]florasisHOMOSEXUAL FEMALE/Pussy is my God and I'm monotheist 19 insightful - 11 fun19 insightful - 10 fun20 insightful - 11 fun -  (2 children)

Also: "it's not gay if two straight dudes do it" LMAO

Just say "no homo" and you're fine.

[–]VioletRemiCat, homosexual one 14 insightful - 11 fun14 insightful - 10 fun15 insightful - 11 fun -  (1 child)

I've heard "it is not gay if balls don't touch".

[–]florasisHOMOSEXUAL FEMALE/Pussy is my God and I'm monotheist 15 insightful - 8 fun15 insightful - 7 fun16 insightful - 8 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah :D

Like, he isn't open to gay sex, but want to suck a dick. My God, some people are such in denial.

[–]LasagnaRossa 17 insightful - 9 fun17 insightful - 8 fun18 insightful - 9 fun -  (1 child)

The "woman" is even pre-op, basically a feminine dude. And this guy swear he's straight lol

[–]Constantine 17 insightful - 4 fun17 insightful - 3 fun18 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

He admits to fucking his college roommate, so yeah... not straight. Just wants us all to think he is.

[–]rockhard288 9 insightful - 2 fun9 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 2 fun -  (5 children)

Speak of. There's a proliferation of so called 'straight' men on Grindr chasing both MtF, FtM, crossdressers, and feminine guys only. What's up with that? And why are they hostile and homophobic to gay men? I guess it's ok to accept their abuse because they're affiliated with trans?

[–]florasisHOMOSEXUAL FEMALE/Pussy is my God and I'm monotheist 16 insightful - 1 fun16 insightful - 0 fun17 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

They cannot accept they're bisexual. And pretend they're dating women while having a dick in their mouth. EWWWW.

[–]Shadow_Lurker 8 insightful - 2 fun8 insightful - 1 fun9 insightful - 2 fun -  (2 children)

We live on a interesting era so to speak: the same guy who yesterday was calling you and me fagg%t is now taking feminizing hormones and demanding to be called 'ma'am'. Hell, even outside of the AGPs we also got the chasers who are also an intersting case on themselves.

Is this really real or some kind of crazy simulation?

[–]florasisHOMOSEXUAL FEMALE/Pussy is my God and I'm monotheist 11 insightful - 7 fun11 insightful - 6 fun12 insightful - 7 fun -  (0 children)

Maybe we live in a simulation and our alien overlords like to tease us with crazy shit

[–]xanditAGAB (Assigned Gay at Birth) 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

and they still call you a fagg%t if you dont support them 100%

[–]divingrightintowork 6 insightful - 1 fun6 insightful - 0 fun7 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

In the black community there are what I believe are called down low side hustles - basically men's gay secret relationships cause homophobia.

[–]hyunnahh 24 insightful - 15 fun24 insightful - 14 fun25 insightful - 15 fun -  (3 children)

Its not gay if two straight guys does it

._.

[–]Shadow_Lurker 12 insightful - 8 fun12 insightful - 7 fun13 insightful - 8 fun -  (2 children)

It's not gay if the dicks don't touch each other!

[–]hyunnahh 11 insightful - 7 fun11 insightful - 6 fun12 insightful - 7 fun -  (1 child)

Its not gay if they say no homotm after!

[–]deliciousdogfoodmy name isnt a puppyplay reference i swear 1 insightful - 1 fun1 insightful - 0 fun2 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

It's not gay if you scream really loud the whole time!

[–]JulienMayfair 21 insightful - 6 fun21 insightful - 5 fun22 insightful - 6 fun -  (0 children)

A new Reddit user identity created specifically to ask this question and carry on an interminable argument about it.

Nothing suspicious about that. Nothing at all . . . There's no way it could be a TRA troll trying to stir the shit. /s

[–]8bitgay 20 insightful - 6 fun20 insightful - 5 fun21 insightful - 6 fun -  (4 children)

Friend, if you were straight you wouldn't be begging gay men for tips on how to deepthroat.

Reasonable comment. I mean, again: why come to gay men to ask this question? If that's such a straight relationship having straight sex this should have nothing to do with gay men, right?

There's always the chance this is just a troll, but still...

Nope, sexuality is based off secondary sexual characteristics, not primary ones. You don’t wait until you see the dick before you lust after a hottie.

I’m straight, because her face is pretty and I want to motorboat her tits. I don’t like how men’s bodies look.

Ah, yeah, yet again the "secondary sexual characteristics" argument. Maybe someone should warn flatchested women that now they're men, since apparently motorboattable chests are a requirement to be a woman.

If you dated a trans woman, are you still gay?

Using their same argument: you also don't wait until you know the gender the person identifies before you lust after a hottie. What if it's a hot person with a dick and you don't know that person identifies as transwoman?

[–]Shadow_Lurker 13 insightful - 1 fun13 insightful - 0 fun14 insightful - 1 fun -  (2 children)

Ah, yeah, yet again the "secondary sexual characteristics" argument.

That's all the evidence we need to arrive to the conclusion this is a TRA larping as a straight man, because as we all know, straight man all use this exact rhetoric style! Not strange at all!

[–]MarkJeffersonTight defenses and we draw the line 3 insightful - 2 fun3 insightful - 1 fun4 insightful - 2 fun -  (0 children)

What you mean? Straight men have no icky transphobic genital preferences. They see gynecomastia, they motorboat.

[–]xanditAGAB (Assigned Gay at Birth) 3 insightful - 1 fun3 insightful - 0 fun4 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

good point lol

[–]denverkrisMy pronouns are Vodka?/Yes!/please 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Nope, sexuality is based off secondary sexual characteristics, not primary ones.

Um, gonna call hot bullshit on that one.

[–]julesburm1891 16 insightful - 9 fun16 insightful - 8 fun17 insightful - 9 fun -  (2 children)

Mr. Troll doesn’t seem to get that there are three groups of people he can ask for advice on sucking dick: gay men, straight women, bi women and men. Coincidentally, all three of these groups are people who are into dudes. If these are the folks you have to ask, maybe you’re into a dude. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[–]FrostyNugsI'm allergic to nuts 8 insightful - 9 fun8 insightful - 8 fun9 insightful - 9 fun -  (1 child)

Nooooo it's totally not gay if one party says they're a woman!

[–]bastetkat 10 insightful - 20 fun10 insightful - 19 fun11 insightful - 20 fun -  (0 children)

"I identify as a woman" is the new "no homo"

[–][deleted] 15 insightful - 8 fun15 insightful - 7 fun16 insightful - 8 fun -  (0 children)

"Im straight" also "my male roomate used to give me blowjobs all the time."

[–]JulienMayfair 12 insightful - 7 fun12 insightful - 6 fun13 insightful - 7 fun -  (1 child)

Reminds me of a guy I fooled around with in college. He was "bi-curious" and told me afterwards that what he really wanted was, and I quote, "a chick with a dick."

He is currently on the sex offenders registry.

[–]our_team_is_winning 9 insightful - 8 fun9 insightful - 7 fun10 insightful - 8 fun -  (0 children)

what he really wanted was, and I quote, "a chick with a dick."

Remember those mismatched parts books they had for kids, where the book was cut across the middle and spiral bound, so you could put a horse head on a duck body, or a dog head on a bird body, silly stuff like that?

[–]VioletRemiCat, homosexual one 11 insightful - 9 fun11 insightful - 8 fun12 insightful - 9 fun -  (0 children)

Because of this gender stuff, I've read "straight gays these days", lol.

[–]RedEyedWarriorGay | Male | 🇮🇪 Irish 🇮🇪 | Antineoliberal | Cocks are Compulsory 13 insightful - 3 fun13 insightful - 2 fun14 insightful - 3 fun -  (3 children)

Somebody needs to come out as bisexual already.

[–]denverkrisMy pronouns are Vodka?/Yes!/please 9 insightful - 4 fun9 insightful - 3 fun10 insightful - 4 fun -  (0 children)

Ya, see, these days you just have to "identify" as something and magically, that's what you are. I mean if transwomen can "identify" as lesbians then I guess gay/bi men can "identify" as straight.
Fucking clown world.

[–]florasisHOMOSEXUAL FEMALE/Pussy is my God and I'm monotheist 10 insightful - 1 fun10 insightful - 0 fun11 insightful - 1 fun -  (1 child)

Interesting about the top stuff. Why specifically top? Doesn't a bottom get oral too? Is that considered submissive act to give it?

[–]RedEyedWarriorGay | Male | 🇮🇪 Irish 🇮🇪 | Antineoliberal | Cocks are Compulsory 5 insightful - 1 fun5 insightful - 0 fun6 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Anyone can give oral. I think the top, bottom and verse categories apply to anal sex only.

[–]Eurowoman24 14 insightful - 1 fun14 insightful - 0 fun15 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

Yeah.. I'm straight and the idea of experimenting with a woman repulses me even if I try and think about it. He's either bi or gay.

[–]our_team_is_winning 10 insightful - 6 fun10 insightful - 5 fun11 insightful - 6 fun -  (1 child)

This dude is too much:

<Lol. I experimented with my gay freshman roommate.... He ended up giving me a NSA blowjob frequently,....his technique was better than any girl’s..... gay sex seems like advanced masturbation to me tbh. “Wow, I found a clone of myself who has equivalent sexual desires. Let’s link up like puzzle pieces and pound!”>

Okay, please fill me in "NSA"? no sexual attraction? So he likes blow jobs from men. Now he has found a MAN (who's going to magically change into a woman, honest, just not yet) and wants tips for pleasuring a MAN, but gay sex is just beating off.... and then at the end he gets what he has actually done (but doesn't get it).

I've been wondering who "ladydick" possibly appealed to, and hey, jackpot for his trans boyfriend here because we've found one!

[–]shveya 8 insightful - 3 fun8 insightful - 2 fun9 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

NSA probably means no strings attached.

[–]shveya 11 insightful - 1 fun11 insightful - 0 fun12 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

This is the kind of guy who would have been "on the DL" in decades past. At least now he can kind-of sort-of be openly bisexual.

[–]terfy_delight 7 insightful - 1 fun7 insightful - 0 fun8 insightful - 1 fun -  (0 children)

I read the comments. These people are hilariously confused. "She" has a 7" dick! I hope OP learns to eventually accept he's gay, or at the very least bisexual.

[–]Three_oneFourWanted for thought crimes in countless ideologies 6 insightful - 3 fun6 insightful - 2 fun7 insightful - 3 fun -  (0 children)

"It's not gay if two straight guys do it"

Oh boy. Now they're applying their logic in the other direction